Look, y'all. I finally figured out how to draw a baby pffttt
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You do NOT have permission to repost my art.
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Brain is buzzing, but AU idea: What if, through unexplained circumstances, Bruce ends up with the kid version of his birdies at his doorstep?
Except? The adults are still there.
"Holy shit, is that me?" Jason, -- a smaller him, a happier him, -- points at himself.
At his right, there's a Jason who towers over everyone. Who ate the world whole. "I thought I'll never be a grown up. And I'm taller than B? Awesome!"
He runs up to Bruce like its second nature, jumps and clings. And Bruce hugs him so close. It's like coming home. "Oh, Jay. I missed you, sweetheart, "
Adult Jason stares, saying nothing, hoping the painful wound splitting his heart open closes by itself.
Dick, the adult one, screams when his 10 year old self swings wildly on the chandelier. Begging and pleading with him to get down, " Give me your right lung and a cookie and you got it,"
" WHY CAN'T YOU BE NORMAL?"
It really doesn't help that, upon finding out his older self is a cop, Dick's younger counterpart only replies to him with oinks and pig noises.
Tim takes a long look at his baby self and nopes the hell out of there. " Call me Janet and Jack cause I don't want that kid."
Baby Damian and Damian hiss at eachother constantly. They'll both race to Bruce, who's helplessly trying to make peace, " I can hold all of you. Just have a little patience,--"
Everyone, at once, safe for Cass and baby Cass, who cuddle together and wait for Bruce on the couch, "NO!"
Baby Damian spits some pretty nasty gibberish and points a tiny plastic knife at everyone if they get close to Bruce. But especially himself.
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Pt 7 This is correct and no I will not take criticism
(I hope y’all know that I pull these out my ass and I love that y’all love these)
*jason currently in the league*
Jason: *panicking cause he can’t find his baby brother* oh my god moms gonna kill me
Talia: Jason
Jason: *gets scared* oh god! Hi mom
Talia: what’s the matter?
Jason: nothing
Talia: *sighs* don’t lie to your mother
Jason: *mumbles* I lost damian
Talia: speak up dear
Jason: mom I lost Damian!
Talia: what?
Jason: I lost my baby brother!
Talia: no you didn’t
Jason: ma I did
Talia: *turns Jason around and takes Damian off his back then turns him back around to face her*
Jason: DAMIAN!
Talia: you know he’s very attached to you
*bonus*
Jason: *tried calling rose in his panic when he was looking for Damian….she never answered* she doesn’t love me!
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If Talia were to tell Battinson they had a baby together and she sadly couldn't leave her cultist father just yet, Bruce would just. Take Damian.
As in, pluck him from Ra's arms as he's in the middle of his " my heir will rule the world" monologue and just walk away without a word. " WH- Talia! Stop him?!"
" Our therapist advised me to set boundaries with toxic parental figures, so, politely, I'll make sure not to do that."
When Selina wheeled her way out of Gotham, a member of her army of cats was pregnant; She yelled when Bruce told her.
Something about Simba knowing better, and how Bruce better look for the cat who knocked her baby up and make him stay, and Bruce says Simba's kittens get along well with Damian.
"...What?!"
" I have a baby now. Would you like to meet him? He's very friendly when he's asleep."
Bruce behaves like he was born holding babies; Damian never cries in his arms, his chubby fingers firmly hooked on his arms, round cheeks warm with pleasure while Bruce sings him to sleep and feeds him with his frog milk bottle.
All the while a small kitten sleeps on Damian’s tummy. In the Batcave. Now fully baby proofed. Alfred burns gin and tonic like he's cashing checks for it.
" Oh wow. That's...That's a baby. "
Ivy couldn't look more terrified if she tried, " That's a baby!"
Harley is overjoyed " THAT'S A BABY!"
" Shh. He doesn't like loud noises," Bruce tells them, and Selina wonders if only they know? Gotham's been suspiciously quiet since she returned. Almost like a courtesy, " His name is Damian. He likes cow mooing. "
"... That's very normal."
Harley, who's digging through Damian's toys already, says its actually more normal than they'd expect, but Selina needs a drink already because she can't be an aunt before 3 glasses of wine.
" Are you sure he's even yours?"
Bruce hums, " Does it matter? He's in my house already."
" Of course you'd say that."
" I signed the papers already."
" Oooof course you did. "
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