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halfway-happyyy · 2 years

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cool my desire (rooster bradshaw)

AN: hi friends! i got sent this message a couple days ago and have been obsessing about it ever since. 18+ only! this piece is under a cut for obvious (sexual) reasons. warnings include: public oral sex (f receiving) masturbation (f&m), dirty talk, swearing, etc. hope you enjoy 💕

Pairing: rooster bradshaw x female reader (she/her pronouns)

song inspo: i'm on fire - bruce springsteen

Of two things Rooster Bradshaw is absolutely certain: the first one is that he is helplessly in love with the woman sitting directly opposite him. The second one is that she’s just announced that she’s never had an orgasm. He thinks he misheard her the first time around, so he strains above the rock music blaring from the bar's jukebox and asks her to repeat herself.

“I've never had an orgasm.”

It exits her mouth in the kind of nonchalant way in which one might announce that it's raining outside, or that they're hungry.

Rooster glances at Hangman who wears the same confused expression, and suddenly she laughs, and Rooster reckons it’s a sound he'd be happy to listen to until his dying day.

“Gosh, if I got compensated for every time I got the same reaction I could retire and live happily on a private island somewhere. For some reason it’s a concept most people have a hard time coming to terms with.”

Bob is just as floored as the rest of the gang. He pushes his wire-frame glasses farther up the bridge of his nose and asks, “When you say never?”

Rooster watches her shrug.

“It’s been my experience that in the heat of the moment, most people just don’t care.”

And Rooster suddenly thinks- I care.

Coyote tips back the rest of his beer, setting the bottle on the wooden tabletop with a resounding clank. “I’d accept this challenge any day, and all I would need is ten minutes to do it.” He tosses her a wink and Rooster’s cheeks flame from equal parts envy and second-hand embarrassment.

“Wow, Coyote. Ten minutes only? Not exactly selling the experience here, are you?” Her teasing tone and wry smile causes the rest of the group to dissolve into fits of low whistles and peeling laughter.

“Wait- so you mean to tell all of us that you fly combat planes for the United States Navy for a living and you’ve never experienced an orgasm?” Hangman’s Texan drawl is incredulous.

She nods her head, her dazzling gaze narrowed. “I can’t imagine how the two are related, but yes Jake, that is what I’m saying.”

“I think it’s sad.” Bob murmurs lowly and Rooster can't help agreeing with him. “More people could benefit from taking the time to consider their partner’s pleasure.”

Hangman snorts. “Sex is sex, Bob. Remind me again which fairy tale you’ll be reading before bed tonight?”

“Yikes Jake. I pity anyone who has the misfortune of sharing a bed with you.” She turns to Bob and offers the unassuming pilot a reassuring smile. “Thanks Bob.”

Rooster clears his throat, suddenly self-conscious of the fact he chose not to partake in the festivities this evening. “For what it’s worth, I think Bob’s right. Making sure your partner gets there is most of the pleasure already. At least for me, anyway.”

Hangman slaps his hand on the table twice, his expression triumphant. “Well, there you have it, kid. If you ever get desperate for a lesson, I’m sure any one of us would be happy to offer our enthusiastic assistance.”

She laughs again, and this time it causes goosebumps to bloom on Rooster’s arms. “How generous of you, Jake. Guess I’d have to be pretty damn desperate though, huh?”

Despite every effort, Rooster doesn’t get much sleep that night. Instead, he spends most of his waking moments trying not to think about how she would look spread out before him, ready and waiting and so willing to do anything he tells her. His cock swells at the mere thought of it all, and he knows the only way rest will come for him is if he carves himself out a shred of release. It won't be enough, but it'll be something. Snaking his hand down the front of his body, he palms the erection straining the crotch of his briefs.

“Fuck,” He breathes out and dips a hand beneath the elastic waistband to pump slowly along the length of his thick shaft.

His eyes fall shut as he pictures her before him; can practically see her arousal drip from her as she touches herself the way he wants her to- the way he knows will have her coming undone for him. Spitting into the palm of his hand, he continues working steadily along his cock. He swipes the rough pad of his thumb over his sensitive slit, swirling the pre-come around it and reveling in the feeling of it as it drips down the underside of his shaft. “Oh god,” He whines out into the still air before him while he shamelessly fucks his fist. He imagines her fucking herself on her fingers; imagines the filthy noises that fall from her lips the closer she gets to her rapture; imagines that he is the sole orchestrator of her pleasure and all of it is enough to get him there. His hips rut desperately into his tight fist, his head falls back against the pillow in unbridled ecstasy, and he comes hard all over himself, his lower abdomen painted with his hot, sticky seed.

Sleep descends on him heavily after that.

“Would you like to go for a drive with me?” It’s been over a week since he’d first thought of her, and he asks her on a whim because he knows if he doesn’t do it soon, he’ll regret it for a lifetime.

She looks hesitant; doesn’t know which angle he’s playing at which is fair, because he’s not entirely sure either. “A drive?” She asks, her head cocked to the side.

Rooster nods. “A drive. We can get drinks or food, whichever you prefer.”

So, she agrees. They drive to a local pizza joint, pick up a large ham and pineapple pie (though Rooster detests the ungodly yellow fruit) and park on a deserted end of beach, their legs hanging off the back end of Rooster’s 1975 Ford Bronco.

“I’m fairly certain I can do it.” He squints out at the setting orange sun as it sinks low over the Pacific Ocean before them.

She washes down the last bite of her pizza with a swig of beer from their shared bottle, her eyebrow quirked high in amusement. “Do what?” She asks, but the glint in her eyes tells him she knows exactly what he’s referring to.

Rooster turns to her, his jaw set. “Give you an orgasm.”

She shakes her head, folds her arms across her chest in defiance. “Believe me, Rooster. Many a brave soul have tried and failed before you. I reckon I may just be broken.”

He gives his head a half-shake. “You’re not broken.”

It’s certainly not your fault no one’s ever taken the time to learn your body.

“Can I tell you something?” She asks, her voice quiet.

Rooster nods.

“That night at the bar last week, when I so readily shared with everyone that I had never had one?”

Rooster nods again, encouragingly.

“I went home and I touched myself.” Her admission is so quiet, Rooster almost misses it.

He swallows hard- tries in vain to keep his voice level, even. “You touched yourself?”

She sucks her bottom lip between her teeth and nods her head. “I was thinking of you.”

It’s Rooster’s turn to bite his lip to keep from groaning out into the humid air before him, and his cock stirs in the crotch of his jeans. “What were you thinking about?”

Her cheeks redden in embarrassment and God, Rooster doesn’t know what to do with himself. “I was thinking about your fingers, your mouth, your cock. I was thinking about how good it would feel to finally be able to come for you.”

“Jesus,” Rooster breathes out. “Did you finish, sweetheart?”

“No.” She murmurs, her tone thick with disappointment.

He gives his head a half-shake, his hazel gaze sharp. “That just won’t do, will it?” Slipping off the edge of the truck, he turns to her, and the urge to reach out and touch her is almost too much to bear. “I want you to show me.”

Her eyes widen in surprise. “Excuse me?”

“I want you to show me the way you touched yourself.”

She glances around at the barren beach, silently weighing the pros and cons of his demand. “Right here?”

“Right here.” Rooster affirms.

Leaning back, she hikes the sundress she’s worn over the tops of her thighs and Rooster’s throat dries like sandpaper when he notices she’s forgone underwear for the evening. He watches with half-lidded eyes as she sucks two fingers into her mouth- gets them nice and slick with her spit, and then dances them slowly down the front of her body to her clit. Rooster braces his arms on either side of her legs and watches her work her magic. She starts off slow, by pressing firm, steady circles into her swollen bundle of nerves. Just as he had predicted over a week ago, her arousal nearly drips from her slit and he has to take a deep breath to center himself to keep from swiping a fingertip down the length of it. He just knows it tastes heavenly. His cock jumps at the mere thought of tasting her- and he doubts he’ll be able to put off touching himself for much longer.

“How does that feel, sweetheart?”

Her eyes flutter closed and all she can manage is a low, desperate mewl.

“You want more?” Rooster asks and all she can do is nod her head. “Give yourself more, then.”

She does as she’s told and inserts a finger into her hot, wet core, and it’s all Rooster can do to keep from groaning out, loudly. “Like this?” She gasps, and he nods above her in approval.

“Exactly like that, sweetheart. Keep going.”

“Wish it was your cock,” She whimpers, and Rooster swears to God, this is the sexiest thing he’s ever been privy to. Her words send what feels like every ounce of blood in his body to his dick, and he palms the front of his crotch, needily.

“It will be soon, baby. Just need to be patient. Need you to be a good girl and come for me.”

She inserts a second finger into herself and cries out at the full sensation, her other finger still pressing roving circles into her clit. Rooster peppers kisses over her the expanse of her exposed collarbone, encouraging her through it all. “That’s it, sweetheart. You’re doing so good. You keep going like this, and you and I’ll both be coming apart in no time.” It’s quiet while he studies her; the only audible noise between them are the obscene sounds her fingers make as she fucks herself with them, and the sweet moans that rip from her throat every couple of seconds. Rooster can feel her start to tremble beneath him; he watches her eyes widen as the realization becomes apparent to her. “That’s right, sweetheart. You’re so close,” Nodding in encouragement, he watches a thin sheen of perspiration bloom over her chest and neck, her lips part and her head drops back, and he doubts she’s ever looked more breathtaking. “Don’t stop now, you’re so close…” He whispers in earnest. “I’ll get you there, I promise.”

Her hands are all but frenzied movement now as she’s trembles violently beneath him and he presses his lips to her temple to keep her grounded to him. “Rooster,” She gasps. And he nods against her.

“If its time, let go. I’m right here, sweetheart.”

Her fingertips grasp at the impossibly hard, warm skin of his shoulder blades. She clasps on to him for dear life as pleasure blooms inside of her like fireworks on a warm July evening, and Rooster’s doesn’t know how much longer he’ll last like this. “Fuck, I’m going to come, Rooster.” She throws her head back and finishes hard around her fingers, her entire body quaking from the effort that took. Rooster holds her to him while she comes down from her high, her body entirely alive and electric with sheer energy.

“God, you did so good just now.” Rooster’s voice is hoarse and wrecked and thick with lust. “Look at you,” He whispers and presses a kiss to her flushed cheek. “How did that feel?”

She swallows hard, still in a bliss-induced trance. “I can’t believe it…”

Rooster chuckles against her. “You ready for one more?”

Before she can answer, he pulls her to the edge of the truck, dropping to his knees in the warm sand. His cock throbs uncomfortably and he brushes a rough palm over it to glean some form of friction. He hovers above her soaked entrance; the sheer, heady scent of her is nearly enough to have him coming in his jeans. He rubs the warm palms of his hands up and down the outside of her soft thighs and glances up at her. “May I show you another way?”

She nods wordlessly, with eyes half-lidded and blown over by hunger for him.

Rooster wants to take his time- wants to savour every single second of this in case it never happens again, but the urge to taste her is entirely overwhelming. He presses hot, open-mouthed kisses to the velvet soft skin of her inner thighs and works his way up, the all-encompassing heat from her leaves him dizzy and breathless with want. He palms his erection, stroking it fervently through the fabric of his jeans and moans against her at the rough sensation of the denim on his sensitive skin.

“Are you touching yourself?” She asks, breathlessly.

Rooster swears to God, he feels her get a little more wet as he nods against her.

He licks a long, wet stripe up the length of her soaked slit with the flat of his tongue and nearly groans out at the taste of her. It’s an unendingly perfect combination of slightly salty and sweet, and he reckons he could get drunk off it if he had enough.

“Holy shit, Rooster.” She whimpers, and her fingers find purchase in his auburn hair.

He nods against her, and grazes his teeth over her swollen clit, earning him another obscenely sexy moan. “God, you taste good sweetheart.” He pulls away from her heat to tell her that, and his breath as it fans out over her warm wetness causes her to quake violently beneath him. He doesn’t allow her a moment of respite before he’s back at it, lapping at her folds like a she’s the most delicious treat on the planet. And to him, she is. His skilled fingertips dance along the length of her thighs, her hips, her ass. He wants to memorize every inch of her body that he can, lest he’s not lucky enough to experience her again.

“God damn it, you’re good at this Rooster.” She swears, and her thighs tighten involuntarily around his head. He grins against her, wickedly. Without warning, he inserts three thick fingers inside of her and the wonderfully full feeling they bring her causes her to cry out into the warm evening air before them. Rooster doesn’t give a flying fuck if anyone hears them at this point; they are exactly where they’re supposed to be. He could die doing this, and he would die a happy man. He fucks his fingers into her with reckless abandon; the first sign of her looming release is in the feeling of her clit against his tongue; how it swells and throbs the longer he sucks at it. “Oh, Rooster…” She keens, desperately. Her fingers tug at his hair, and the sharp burst of pain it brings him causes him to moan against her and the vibrations from that alone are all it takes before she’s falling off the precipice and into his willing arms. Rooster presses a free hand to her lower tummy as she spasms around the fingers still buried to the hilt inside of her and a flood of wetness bursts from her, soaking him and everything around them within a certain radius. Rooster's fingers fall from her, and she whimpers at the sudden loss of fullness. He rests his head in her lap, closing his eyes and trying to focus on regulating his breathing. He’s still so fucking hard right now, it’s a wonder he’s even upright at all.

“Jesus, Rooster, that was something else.” Her voice is raspy and shot from their recent activities and Rooster smiles softly as he listens to the fervent hammering of her heartbeat against the top of his head.

“Told you I could do it,” He laughs, breathlessly.

She giggles against him and his heart soars. “What about you, though?” She cards a hand through his damp hair.

“I’ll be alright.”

She shakes her head, her gaze knowing. “I want you, Rooster. And I’m going to have you.”

Of two things Rooster Bradshaw is absolutely certain: the first one is that he is helplessly in love with the woman beneath him. The second is that he doesn’t know when- and he doesn’t know how, but he is going to spend the rest of his life having her come apart for him like that.

#this was fun to write !!#smut isn't always!!#rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw x reader #rooster bradshaw smut #bradley 'rooster' bradshaw #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #top gun: maverick #writing #smut #rooster bradshaw imagines #miles teller

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justalildumpling · 1 year

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⇢ renjun as your boyfriend

pairing: renjun x reader genre: fluff, established relationship note: happy bday to our fav lil angry bean jun <33 (also um?!?! he literally has THE BEST bf material photos istg)

your relationship would’ve probably started off as not friends but not dating in a way, whether you met thru mutuals or just naturally, the two of you would’ve felt a spark but wanted to get to know each other before actually pursuing something

renjun would’ve made it obvious but not too obvious about his feelings, enough for you to question it but not enough for you to be completely confident with your evidences

the dreamies would be ROLLING AROUND the floor in frustration, telling him to confess his feelings already and giving you the biggest hints ever with the two of you shrugging them off saying it’s too early

despite the slow burn lead up to your relationship, i feel like renjun’s confession would be rlly casual like you two would be over at one of your guys’ place watching tv on the couch cuddling and renjun would just drop it like- HUH?!

it could literally be a disney movie in the background and renjun would say “you know, that character is my favourite from that movie” and you would laugh and ask him why

“idk it’s just really cute and it reminds me of you in a way, maybe that’s why i’ve always liked you.”

once you started dating, not much would’ve changed in your relationship ok besides from the occasional kissing and hand holding etc

i feel like he would send you little doodles throughout the week that reminded him of you

oh the way he would have the softest smile on his lips whenever he talked to you or if he received any messages from you during his schedules

renjun would have so much care for you whether he would express it thru just random sweet sayings throughout the day like “you look pretty today” or just giving you that honey soaked smile that he has (you know the one)

he would call you love or some sort of cute nickname and would get super happy if you gave him one too (tho wouldn’t admit it to the dreamies LMAO)

the dreamies would so tease him everytime you came over ESP HAECHAN OML which would probably end up in a bickering match between the two so nomin and mark would take you away from the scenario and have a nice civil chat

he doesn’t seem like the type to overdo on PDA but wouldn’t mind small gestures like holding hands or leaning on each other’s shoulders/lap/stomach

tho i feel like he would purposely kiss you in front of haechan just to be petty and see his reaction LMAOO

tho he doesn’t seem like the possessive type, he would get clingy towards you when schedules abroad comes up

“imagine you came with me to Thailand that would be so cool, haha im kidding! i mean… unless??” “ok fine!! i’ll stop guilt tripping you but like just so you know i’m gonna be crying on the plane tomorrow.”

ok. renjun may be a relatively small man but do not underestimate his power/anger like if he found out you were ever mistreated in any way he will fight. like rip to whoever hurts you because jun would roast the heck out of that person (touch them and i’ll destroy you vibe)

your dates will either be aimlessly exploring the city and trying to find the best hotpot spots or food spots in general to just chill nights at your houses just enveloped in peace

you would feel so comfortable around each other, and could feel that the relationship was stable from the start

he seems like the type to communicate problems well and stress the importance of it. even tho it can be hard to communicate sometimes just in case it may hurt the other’s feelings, he makes sure to address the problem on the early stages because he cares and wants to be with you in the long run

he doesn’t seem like he would throw in this much effort for people he thinks isn’t worth his time and energy

the best thing about dating renjun would be that you would feel at home with each other, you guys realise early on that you are each other’s rock, that you can trust each other with your lives and be each other’s driving force to become your best selves

taglist: @polarisjisung @wooyoung-a @w3bqrl @enelrahs @rv7hsua @n0hyuck @neosdaisy @xxxx-23nct @maeumiluv @produmads @dearlyminhyung @shwizhies @baekhyunstruly

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ddlcbrainrot · 3 months

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monika, as expected from her honour student status, has the perfect notes. i’m talking colour coordination, each lesson written down with perfect accuracy etc. she’s the kind of person that when she makes a mistake somewhere in her notes instead of erasing it and moving on she carefully rips the page and rewrites everything. it’s pretty tiring work, but when she sees the end result she thinks it’s worth it (“it makes revising easier!”)

sayori tries sooo hard to write pretty notes. every start of the school year she is determined to have the most pretty notes ever. and she does follow through with it for a week or two, but after classes start to get more demanding her notes transform into that doctor handwriting that no one but her (sometimes not even her) can read

natsuki does not even try with writing notes in class. maybe she writes some things down when the teacher is looking at her direction to make it seem like she’s paying attention. this doesn’t stop her from owning every single pink themed stationary that she finds. generally, she’s the kind of person to say “this is all just common sense i don’t need to write anything down” which definitely backfires when exam season comes around

yuri doesn’t really care about how pretty her notes are, as long as they are presentable. she isn’t as serious about them as monika but she definitely doesn’t want them to look sloppy. while she is kind of insecure about her handwriting, she doesn’t really mind it when it comes to notes since she doesn’t really have to share them with anyone. that is until the year she joined the club, and natsuki came running to her before their exam season and begged her (“i mean it’s not like i care or anything!!”) to show her notes because she had, once again, not written anything

#ddlc #ddlc monika #ddlc sayori #ddlc natsuki #ddlc yuri #ddlc headcanons #text stuff

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strangebiology · 10 months

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Myths about Traditional Publishing

Now that I'm in the book-writing world I see a LOT of anti-trad publishing posts. They usually have some nonsense in them so I'm going to address these myths/misrepresentations.

I’m NOT trying to say everyone should trad publish. In fact, I actually suggest people without significant writing experience not write a book at all until they get experience. You asked. If you want to write something faster without any editors and you're okay with doing a lot more work per sale, or if you haven't published anything shorter than a book, I DO recommend self-publishing to you (or, re-thinking why you want to write a book.) Just make sure you’re making your choice without influence from misinfo!

🚫 “Traditional Publishing means less money because your royalty is less!”

✅Your royalty is less but every one of these anti-trad posts misses the very important financial reality that traditional publishers sell your book widely, meaning more sales without work on your end, and more importantly: the ADVANCE! Yes, trad writers get money before a single book sells! On average most traditionally published books make WAY more than self, even though there are very rare stories of financial success among the portion of self-published authors who are very talented and hard-working.

🚫 “The advance doesn’t count because you have to pay it back!”

✅BS. Money DOES NOT flow from the writer to the publisher in trad pub. Not even if you sell zero books. As the royalties come in, they initially start flowing to refill the advance that the publisher lost, and they go to the writer once that is refilled. The writer is happy because they already have their advance, which has already gone to paying off their debts or into an index fund or the downpayment on a house so they don’t have to throw away money renting, so they’re in a much better financial situation than with no advance. There is no downside to getting guaranteed money earlier.

The only way you’d have to pay it back is like any job: if I pay you to fix my roof and you don’t do it, the contract is broken and I am legally entitled to my money back. Hopefully, you already knew that.

🚫 “The advance doesn’t count because you get it in installments and you have to pay some to your agent and taxes exist!”

✅The second part of that is true, but so what? With a $50k advance and an agent, you keep $42,500 minus taxes. That’s $21,250 on signing and $21,250 on completion. (And yes, there are different installment patterns, different advances etc.) With self-publishing, you get $0 and then $0 forever until your book starts selling. If your advance is small that’s unfortunate but remember self-publishing advances are $0. Zero dollars is much less than $42,500. Zero is less than $1. Self-publishers also go into actual debt to pay for editors, printers, and marketing, so you could easily start with negative money.

🚫 “Traditional publishing sucks because they expect you to do all your own marketing!”

✅Huh? Whatever expectations are happening in the heart of my publisher are none of my business or concern. Marketing on my end is not in my contract and I doubt it’s in the majority of trad contracts. I’ll definitely promote my book as much as I can but I’m sure as heck not going to spend 40 hours a week doing it or getting a degree in marketing unless I'm getting paid.

However, the publisher employs professional book marketers and they are the ones incentivized to sell the first [insert advance dollar amount] worth of books.

Also, who do you think markets your self-published book? The Marketing Fairy?

🚫 “You have to write the whole book first.”

✅Yes with fiction, usually. Unless they trust you because of your track record, and you have a good pitch and part of the book written (like the first three chapters.) With nonfiction, generally, you don't need to have written much of that, maybe one chapter and lots of articles. They might require more if you're writing a memoir, especially if you don't have writing experience. They want to know you can do it.

🚫 “Traditional publishing is just a lottery!”

✅I mean there are elements of luck, what’s in fashion, privilege etc. just like in all fields, especially creative ones. But most of the reason people get trad contracts is hard work, experience, a good concept, proof of successful writing and publishing (including non-books!), caring about what the readers want, etc.

Most people who I talk to who tried and failed to traditionally publish had no published writing of any sort. Most who succeed at trad publishing had plenty, as well as a lot of expertise in that area. Like, a degree and/or years of experience in that field, not "I listened to a few podcasts on it."

🚫 “Actually a smaller advance is better.”

✅Absolutely not. This is an insidious nonsense rumor akin to “a smaller salary is better” and I wonder if publishers started that rumor to financially abuse their writers or if writers spread it because hate themselves and each other. I’ve heard all the justifications, they make no financial sense, if you hate money give it to me.

The only reason to take a smaller advance would be the same as the reason to take a smaller salary: if the publisher makes up for it with something else that's worth it.

Interestingly, I'm told bigger advances sell out faster, because they attract attention behind the scenes, from reviewers, booksellers, etc.

🚫 “Even an advance of 100k isn't that much when you split it into four payments over 2 years. Better to get regular royalties. Not like $100k is enough to quit your day job.” ✅$100k split into four payments over 2 years is WAY more than the $0 self-publishing gets you before sales. Even $200/month for 40 YEARS is less than 100k, and that's without the time value of money or inflation. And, remember, trad published books get royalties too, the only difference is the first [insert advance here] is GUARANTEED, and after that, fewer dollars per book sold. If you make $100k per book and don't spend too much time per book, that can very easily BE your day job and you CAN certainly quit your other one to pursue that. But no one said anything about assuming selling one $100k is enough for the rest of your life. That would be an absurdly irresponsible mindset. Just because trad publishing doesn't guarantee anything crazy like one book financially supporting you forever, doesn't mean it's worse financially. What a weird, irrelevant straw man.

🚫 “But if you don't sell out your advance, the publisher drops you!"

✅Misleading. First, what is the time frame of this accusation? Your book is not going to sell $50k worth in a week, most likely. Second, what do you mean by "drop?" The publisher does not do anything bad to the author as they are waiting and hoping for sales. They continue to sell and work with the book, they do not yeet it or burn it or un-publish it.

What does happen is your publisher will consider your past success when deciding whether to sign another book contract and how much to give you for your next advance. If your last book sold $100k in a month, but your advance was $101k, then yes, they have lost money so far. But the prospects of your writing are fantastic, and they are likely to sign you again. There is more than one month in their lives.

If your book did not perform well--say it sold $5k in 5 years--then that ONE publishing company isn't going to sign you again. Duh? Then you have like 99,999 other publishing companies to look at. Or you could self-publish. Is that a problem? How are the pro-self-publishing people so scared of self-publishing? Or you could just not write more books, you tried it once, you can decide that's enough, especially if you aren't happy with how it turned out. Don't we all have more than one goal in life? Didn't you want to get into fishing or dancing or insurance sales too?

🚫 “Getting a book contract is my retirement plan!"

✅(I realize most of this post seems pro-trad but yes, we need some reality check.) A trad contract is as good as it does--and as good as the author is. Same with self-publishing. Maybe you could make a lot of money at it, but I ask, what is your experience? How do you know your book is so amazing? You know some of the most financially successful writers still put out TONS of books, right? Because it's a job.

🚫 “Nobody earns a living from this."

✅Well. No, some people do earn livings from book writing, at least temporarily. A single book isn't going to sustain you forever, like I said, but it could potentially sustain you for the time it takes to write it, and even longer maybe, if you and your publisher are good enough. The next year will pass whether you're working on a book or you're working in insurance sales or at Starbucks; so you must consider your values, skills, opportunity cost, the money you get from each, and whatever else matters to you when deciding which to do. You can pitch a publisher and say "no, that's not enough money" when they offer you a contract, if you want.

At the end of the day, trad publishing is a business. No publishing company owes you anything except what is in the contract they signed. Not working with the same place twice isn't going to kill you. Getting rejected is part of the game--you didn't get into every college you applied to, did you? You don't get every award or every job you apply to, you don't cry when you open the Pepsi bottle and it says "try again." But if you don't treat writing like a job, if your publisher sucks, or you think it's a get-rich-quick scheme that requires no skills, craft, or ambition, then you will fail miserably and regret the whole thing.

#writing #publishing #book publishing #traditional publishing #indie publishing #not biology

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epiclamer · 11 months

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Angst? 🥺 family, friends, lovers idc I want be sad

Whump Angstttttttt

Hidden Secrets

“Kidnapees don’t talk.” The thief cocked their gun, barrel only millimetres from the civilian’s face. “So shut the fuck up before I put a bullet in your skull.”

The civilian swallowed, hard, struggling to pull themselves together with a quivering lip. “Y-you have to understand; you have t-the wrong guy.”

For a moment, the thief’s expression softened and the civilian felt a brief relief wash over them like an ocean wave. But like all waves do, it barely lasted a second before it was gone and the thief’s lips curled into a smile. “Do you really think I’m dumb enough for that to work on?”

“…well—”

“Hero doesn’t just date someone without telling them about their whole operation. They’re quite known for having loose lips.”

Clenching their teeth, the civilian sucked air in between them as they tried not to shake so visibly. “I-I’m not dating Hero.”

With a sigh the thief dropped their gun, a futile threat since the civilian was secured to a post from head to toe with coarse rope. Taking a step back, but still maintaining eye contact with their captive as a chuckle rose in their throat. “Let me get this straight…”

Like a deer in headlights the civilian watched intently as the thief began to shuffle through their pockets. Pulling out and revealing a few palm sized printed photographs, the civilian’s stomach sunk.

Each one had a blurry yet decipherable picture of them and their significant other in it. Taken from outside their windows, sliding glass patio door, front door, etc. Until the thief stopped on one specific print of everybody’s well-known saviour, Hero, changing out of their suit into their civilian attire with the completely oblivious Civilian one closed door away.

They held the picture up to eye level. “You mean to tell me that this—” the criminal tapped the small figure of the civilian’s lover with one finger, “isn’t your sweetheart in their work clothes?”

It wasn’t worth pretending that their heart hadn’t stopped in that moment, or that their blood turned cold. The villain in front of them already knew, they could see it in their face and they could feel it in the air that stuck between them.

So when the civilian opened their mouth they didn’t even know where the strength had come from to speak. “I-I don’t, they’re not… Hero…”

The thief lowered the image back into their pocket along with the others. “I don’t believe you.”

To be fair, the civilian didn’t believe themselves either.

“But, I do doubt that you knew.” Three steps and the gap between the two was only a breath wide. “Which is odd, considering they’ve never been so cautious before. Maybe they really like you.”

Although the civilian was hearing the words coming from the other’s mouth, they weren’t registering them, barely focused enough to realize how much danger they were in at the moment. All they could think about was their lover and the undeniable risk they had been putting the civilian in for the past two years without regard for their safety.

Or that maybe the other didn’t like them enough to trust them.

Or that maybe their relationship had been a front for investigative purposes all along.

Or that—

“Are you even listening to me?” The thief’s strong hand grasped their jaw, jolting the civilian back to reality. They scoffed when the other’s eyes cleared back to the present and let go of their face, pushing back and away from the civilian. “Ready to listen? Or should I just leave you to rot down here?”

Without really understanding the civilian nodded, but their preoccupied mind wouldn’t stop trying to wander as the thief pushed for their attention. However, their captor seemed satisfied with their response and continued.

“You, are clearly incapable of being any help to me—”

“So you’ll let me go?” It was a long shot and their voice quivered as they spoke, but they couldn’t stop themselves from trying.

The thief glared at the civilian, shaking their head no. “Obviously not. But, your precious Hero is sure to coming breaking down the door in the next twenty-four hours or so, which means that you will get your freedom, right after I question your Hero. Alright? For now just be a good little prisoner and sit tight.”

Usually, the civilian would’ve made a snarky comment about not being able to sit when they were tied standing to the post, but they didn’t have the energy anymore. They just wanted to go home, grab their things and leave, never to see the hero again.

But now they were tied up and going to be forced to face their lying lover where they couldn’t escape.

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wolfnesta · 2 months

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I just felt like putting some of my pent up feelings into words in the most simple way I could think of on Cassian and his character because I’ve been having such a hard time staying anchored and sometimes putting it down to words helps. It’s long so, under the cut.

I feel like it is worth to start off by mentioning that blatant plot armor is a peeve of mine but I’m aware that acotar is also a series that caters to some high strung romance aspects of fantasy that would otherwise be a huge red flag in real life, example, being super aggressive and protecting of their mates, the frenzy, etc. Basically what I’m trying to explain is that while I hate some aspects in acotar (like the plot armor) I’m willing to accept others parts some might find unsavory (like the red flags behind matehood) but by all means I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind or opinion of those things rather just stating how I chose to go forth reading the series.

With this in mind I want to point out the highlight of Cassian’s relationship with Nesta at it's initial stages.

In WaE he’s basically horny for Nesta the entire time which as I said I’m okay with overlooking, even find enjoyable, because of the whole matehood concept, but what intrigued me the most was Nesta’s reaction where she feels threatened that he can ‘see’ her—

‘then it had all stopped, the eye of a storm with them in it, and there she was.

And in those blue-gray eyes, he could see the thoughts swirling in her as if they were smoke under glass.’

And everything going forward since— when Nesta shows vulnerability to the queens in her passionate bid to save the humans he seems to react to her in a way that suggest he understands her passion and promises her his protection. In front of everyone. He explains how he fought in those lands and declares he’ll do it again. For her and the humans she’s desperately trying to save. Doesn’t try to pull her into a hug or remove her from the situation he simply wipes her tear because he seems to understand her. When she agrees to scry and he offers his solid presence silently, he knows she’d never ask it of anyone, he walks up to her half wounded and places one hand on her back. That touch is enough. How he knew she would need to see her father sailing through the water, the boat at the helm having her name on it and wordlessly grabs her and lifts her so she can witness all this.

I felt like he had this understanding of Nesta that no one has likely offered to her before because of her fickle nature. I lived for the idea that no matter how unreasonable she might be, that he would allow her to be as crazy and raging as she needed to be, without being terrible to her as his brother and Mor are because it would seem he saw her. I thought it was a neat character trait to be often misconceived as the brute, all brawn’s no brain kind of guy, when these actions with Nesta portray his emotional intelligence, even with Feyre when she’s punching and punching him and he knows to let her. That he would not think of walking away or leaving.

Just for the sake of not wasting my time or others I want to mention there is a difference between allowing your S.O. to step all over you vs being supportive and understanding. Cassian and Nesta are not together at this point. They are in that will they, will they not, stage very entertaining for the reader with Nesta being the one of the two that is undergoing recovering from trauma he himself admits to have lived and healed from. So I don’t find it to be some turn off for Nesta to be snarky and rude to him for the same reasons I can forgive the whole hornyness from Cassian. I’m not going to be swayed into thinking Nesta calling him names Amren has been calling him for centuries (*cough* like dog *cough*) is enough to give Cassian any superiority over Nesta (which the story tries to imply hence the plot armor I mentioned) which is one of the many things that sort of sent the canon ship asunder for me. Which leads me to vent more on some of the rest below.

Acofas/acosf was a mixture of what could have been but just sort of trailed in bloody ribbons from the butchering of the dynamic as a whole. In the way that he was suppose to be her silent supporter as he had been up until the awful gift giving scene. It was suppose to be in the way he could’ve defended her and took up for her, yes even when he knows she's wrong. Because this is the Nessian dynamic we were set up for. I’m not arguing about wether the moral compass of the reader thinks it’s the right thing to do or not. It’s because his character had already shown traits to fulfill these unmet needs in Nesta. So much so that she felt unnerved, as most people that have never met anyone feel the want or desire to understand them because of the thick walls behind an icy bitch face have—

Perhaps that was what unnerved her, made her want to slice at him. The utter sincerity. That he honored his promises, and did not make them lightly.

But oh the butchering when the emotional intelligence he had shown since is just radically wiped off the table when he insinuates she’s not trying enough and should maybe leave then, can’t understand why her sisters love her. It’s like being thrown a bucket of ice water. Like it’s jarring— whoa wait I thought he could see through her? How can his confession— ‘ I will find you in the next life and we will have that time’ suddenly be wiped off the map when he has shown emotional intelligence towards her knowing much less. At this point in the story she is not his anything to feel any sort of entitlement of her affection either. It’s just awful all around.

It’s almost as if sjm ( because at the end of the day me being anti cassian is me being critical of how sjm chose to go forth writing him) had this rough draft idea where Cassian could handle anything Nesta threw at him but it would be oh so sexy of him to throw some back. But instead it manifested into Cassian just kicking a down person all the while losing his most cherished quality, his emotional intelligence.

It’s so difficult to watch how this carcass is dragged further in hofas. As I mentioned this is my opinion of the Nessian dynamic we had been set up for pre acofas/acosf not if you agree with me on how it should be. I had thought Cassian’s strength and intelligence would give him the opportunity to be someone that was able to withstand Nesta’s ice and fire, that he would be strong enough to not call her out about being wrong in front of other people but rather weather telling her in private. Because in public he's on her side and makes sure everyone knows it but he is not also losing his own opinions and voice, on the contrary, he explains and talks to her not to everyone else in the room. That hofas chapter gave no indication of either thing happening. Even going back to beginning with the whole matehood concept being a red flag he doesn’t show any of those ‘protective’ instincts whatsoever. Sjm critical or whatever, I guess. It’s tiresome to keep seeing it’s partly because she keeps on picking and choosing when certain concepts apply if they don’t or do serve her purpose instead of like idk consistency. She chose to keep him in this torn position of bro’s before ho’s middle school ass concept because Rhysand is his brother or whatever not the more adult idea of being husband and wife/ mates and Nesta having honest reasons, him addressing the dangerous aspects of her choice with her only all the while not allowing his bro to step all over his mate in front of him.

To conclude, Nessian to me was about Cassian being strong yet patient, firm yet supportive, to someone like Nesta. For Nesta it's about having someone being beside her when everyone else is against her, about seeing her amazing heart even when she herself does not. For him to use these traits unique to him and be able to pick her up when she can't stand. To love ALL of her. Any attempt to keep this dynamic up in acosf doesn’t even serve the purpose to show me this but rather it just seems like a way for sjm to remind the reader Cassian is the one trying oh so hard to help Nesta and Nesta is the big evil who has/is being mean to this poor male. It’s the plot armor I mention instead of a harmony of character dynamics coming together to make a wonderful relationship. The hike scene is an example of sjm poorly trying to portray this when he tells her there’s nothing broken to be fixed but only after having witnessed Nesta being okay with dying from falling off a cliff and literally croaking over from dehydration not to mention how at this point his and the rest of the IC’s intervention has so many problematic points that have changed Nesta’s character to suit the weird idea sjm has of wish fulfillment for feysand on Nesta’s ‘punishments’. It’s just a bloody trail of ribbons all of it.

Well atleast there’s enough substance left for me to play with but also at the same time it’s enough for me to mourn the loss which can get tiresome at times. But it is what it is and I choose to carry on 😊

#debated tagging this post at all since it’s just a vent post #sjm critical #anti acosf #anti cassian

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fr0gc4t · 6 months

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a ramble/confession, and some non-dualism tips

if u seem to already consciously know that ur god AND also think in limiting beliefs, ur not alone. i do it too. it’s way more common than u think.

sometimes we understand a concept and think it’s true, but our egos don’t think in the way that would actually comply with that concept, and that stops us from fully shifting into belief and freeing ourselves from ego. “belief” and “knowing” aren’t always the same thing.

prime example: YOU knowing that ur “desires” r already urs, and then ur ego switching the process completely and being like “so where is it?”. we all know that happens to a lot of ppl in the loa/non-dualism community. the ego is tricky bc its nature is to try and intimidate us. then we slip back into ego-based thinking. happened to me, and is still happening atm. and also i wanna remind ppl that, like healing, awakening to ur true self is often not linear. and that’s totally ok as long as u don’t give up. i was pretty much almost fully realized but then i let my ego get to me again and since then i’ve been trying to get back into that state but just haven’t succeeded at changing my thoughts/improving my self-concept (adhd is making it very difficult).

look. ik it’s kinda weird to have someone post a ramble abt FALTERING at living non-dualism. most of the time, we talk abt the opposite to remind ourselves if our power. but i think it’s important to be open and vulnerable when ur struggling, especially when other ppl could learn from ur struggle.

like i said. not getting i right the first time is OK AND NORMAL. ik ppl say “changing ur self-concept is effortless” but LET’S BE REAL FOR A SEC: that’s not true for everyone, especially neurodivergent/mentally ill ppl, and ppl with intrusive thoughts (i’m all of those, btw), bc our egos r EXTRA spicy.

awakening to ur true self as the god of ur reality is healing, and healing is HARD. in this case, since whatever we are aware of is true, it doesn’t rly have to be, but when u have inner demons, MY GOODNESS IS THIS SHIT DIFFICULT (but still sooo worth it, i promise u).

so good for u if it’s not difficult. really, i’m happy for u. i just also want to bring to light my situation, which is: hearing ppl say “changing ur self-concept is effortless!!” just made it harder to change mine.

I AM NOT TRYING TO SAY ANYONE IS SAYING THESE THINGS MALICIOUSLY. I’M LITERALLY SO HAPPY AND PROUD OF U OMG. i just think that the non-dualism community should be a little more vulnerable, bc FAILING IS NORMAL WHEN TRYING TO CHANGE UR MINDSET, ESPECIALLY FOR PPL LEARNING HOW TO MANAGE NEURODIVERGENCE, MENTALL ILLNESS, TRAUMA, INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY ETC.

AND THAT IS TOTALLY OKAY!!!

i see ppl say things like “i don’t want any limiting beliefs near this page!!!” when limiting beliefs and learning to overcome them r a normal part of this process and should not be shunned, and should rather be met with compassion and understanding. AND SOME PPL DO MEET IT WITH THAT!!! but there r also many who don’t. i understand not wanting to hear ppl’s limiting beliefs in some situations, but not being open to hearing them at all just creates more stigma around being vulnerable abt faltering in this journey and needing some further encouragement or advice. positivity is only good until it becomes toxic positivity. (AGAIN, NOT POINTING FINGERS AT ANY ONE PERSON. I’M TALKING ABT ALL OF US, INCLUDING ME)

my adhd makes it so hard to stick to a new habit long enough to get used to it. and as a result, i have faltered a bit. okay, maybe a little more than a bit. AND THAT IS OKAY. THAT IS NORMAL. THAT IS SOMETHING WE NEED TO TALK ABT MORE.

maybe these stuggles r an “illusion,” but that doesn’t mean we should pretend like we don’t have them. we don’t always have to put on a happy face and go onto tumblr and vaunt to try and fight the intrusive thoughts. if u know anything abt the psychology of intrusive thoughts, FIGHTING THEM DOES NO GOOD. we should accept them and let them be there, knowing that THEY CAN’T HURT US.

even then, they might stress us out. and that’s when we might need to vent. and venting is NOT a bad thing. sometimes it’s the only way i can cool off. but instead of venting into ppl’s inboxes, we should make our own posts, like this one, in constructive language (i suggest writing the angry/anxious stuff first in ur notes, then, when ur calm, rewriting it in a constructive sense and posting it on tumblr). we need more openness to sharing our struggles. mental health struggles r sooo real (even if our human minds r illusions), and we need to make the non-dualism/loa community a safe place to talk abt those struggles and see if anyone can relate, or maybe used to relate and has adivice.

being gentle and open to this conversation is just as important as affirming that we have what we desire. bc, well, if u have the struggle i have, or something similar, u know how difficult it is. hell, i even thought abt going back to loa and trying to get into the void instead of keeping on my non-dualism path bc i thought it would be easier(???) and now i realize that that doesn’t even make sense bc both of these things require improving ur self-concept, which is what i was trying to avoid.

THAT IS LITERALLY AN EXAMPLE OF THE THING I EXPLAINED AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS POST (which was supposed to be the main topic… i rambled a lot. oops.). i knew that i had to change my self-concept no matter what, yet i thought that getting into the void wouldn’t require that. sometimes the thoughts just don’t add up. and it’s bc of the ego! i actually only became aware of that now actually.

THE EGO JUST WANTS TO CONFUSE U AND TAKE CONTROL OF U. i’m just still letting mine have power over me… but now that i’m aware of it, i can try again, this time with a different perspective.

faltering is normal. not being able to change ur thoughts the first time is normal. having this kind of weird cognitive dissonance is NORMAL. THE IMPORTANT THING IS TO NOT GIVE UP, AND SUPPORT EACH OTHER.

you failed to change ur mindset and ended up spiraling? needing a break from trying to change it? i don’t blame u, this stuff is hard. it’s okay tho! what u need to do now (or when ur ready) is: FORGIVE URSELF AND TRY AGAIN. and don’t be afraid to start the conversation of “can anyone relate to this?” or whatever helps u.

we can do this. we can change our thoughts, even with any obstacles we may face, bc we are stronger than our egos. WE’RE GOD, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! we can do ANYTHING.

the first step is knowing that faltering is okay. next is realizing that our knowledge of who we are doesn’t always match our thoughts, and that that is the nature of our brains. the next step is forgiving ourselves and moving on.

hopefully this rant wasn’t too jumbled or confusing, i kinda just wrote it here without any planning lolz. i need to figure out a format.

and i hope some of u could relate to my struggle. be as open as u want in the replies. i will not judge. if u need to make ur own little rant, it’s fine by me.

also, sorry for being gone for a while. i don’t use tumblr very much anymore. i’m slowly falling away from all apps except pinterest, amazon and depop 😅 but dw, i won’t let myself fall too far. i luv tumblr and the non-dualism and loa community has changed my life and opened my mind in so many ways. even if i haven’t succeeded at getting all my desires quite yet, it’s okay. i will succeed. maybe not right away, but i will. and so will u. (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ

#this was a loooong post tysm for making it to the end!!#u have earned a cupcake for making it this far 🧁#archive ໒꒱ ⋆ﾟ⊹#non dualism #non duality #nonduality #nondualism #advaita vedanta #advaita #manifesting #manifestation #law of consciousness

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charmedreincarnation · 1 year

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Hi charm idk if you’re on break but I just wanted to ask something abt how you started manifesting like idk bc this states stuff is very confusing and I trust your judgment. Did you begin your journey with states ?? And how did you overcome your 3D to occupy the right state especially since you openly talk about your hard circumstances

Hi love ! I’m not on a break right now I’m just not as active haha :)! Also no, I did not use the concept of states back in 2020/2021 when I actually started shifting and manifesting successfully. I wasn’t on tumblr, and tho I knew about Neville Goddard, I can’t lie I did not care. I was trying to manifest and shift without reading tedious essays I didn’t care about. Like I said, I had horrible circumstances so no offense the “having it in imagination” wasn’t going to cut it back then. I use, acknowledge, and like states now.. but of course it’s easier for me now because I’ve already been shifting successfully and manifested my dream life already. It’s easier to fulfill my state when I already know it’s going to work. i can’t say it would have been the same when I started lol

I didn’t join tumblr until the end of 2022/ the beginning of 2023 so I didn’t know the Terminology of states, affirm and persist, etc and I definitely would not have cared back in 2020/2021 when I was beginning my journey Fr. I started manifesting successfully literally using whatever made me happy. I didn’t know techniques, I definitely didn’t care about Neville at the time, and I wanted to shift and manifest more than anything in the world. All I did was write down my desires everyday, visualize 24/7, and affirm to myself in the mirror whenever I wanted.

And before the terminology tyrants come, yes I’m aware I was occupying states. But who cares what I was using if at the time I didn’t know what it was called, or what it was. If you tried to explain to me what states was at the time, I honestly would have told you to eat my ass tbh bc I would not care about that stuff at all. All I knew was repetition and positivity was helping me get my dream life… so I couldn’t have cared less if it was witch craft or satanism 😭 Especially since I was trying to escape my undesired circumstances, again if you told me to fulfill it in my imagination because that’s all that matter, I would have blocked you.

It’s true for me now, yes because I talk about that all the time, but I’m also aware it’s easier for me to say that now that I know it’s real and is 100% worth it. If you’re having trouble manifesting or using states, literally just go back to the basics, and be so consistent. It won’t fail you if you persist.

Also this reminds me, I was actually on amino and we had a similar problem. I hindered my journey dropping what I knew worked for me to try the trend of “shadow work, dieties, and spirit guide work” because that’s what people preached I needed to do. I didn’t care about that stuff at the time but I thought since that was trending it had to work and resonate with me or else I would never succeed. Nothing worked for me until I went back to what I knew was true for me. Which was my original “methods” I already talked about above. No one’s forcing you to understand or like something that doesn’t resonate with you. Just don’t be rude or argue with people who like states lmfao. Even if everyone in the world is talking about states that doesn’t mean you have to follow them.

#law of assumption #manifesation #void state #manifesting #reality shifting #self concept #neville goddard

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words-from-the-coast · 2 years

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audly’s favourite (free) d&d resources

d&d books are really expensive. for beginners, that can be daunting if trying to get into playing. some people are under the impression that you have to have all the books (or at least one or two) to be a good dm or player.

so i’m here to compile my favourite resources!

5etools

literally my favourite. it has sections divided by what you’re looking for, and a super easy filtering system. it’s got stuff from most books (except the critical roll ones) and dm screen resources! also has the ua (unearthed arcana) playtest materials.

D&D wiki

also has pretty much everything! not really divided by books (as far as i can find), which may make it a bit tricky. but if you know what you’re doing, you’re set. especially helpful for spells.

Fantasy Name Generators

in my opinion, naming things is one of the hardest things to do. like you’ve got this cool axe weapon thing that glows but you don’t want to just call it the “glowy axe”. or a super badass elf character that has a pet raccoon. or a city where your campaign will be. so you go through your brain for a good name and it’s empty. names give things meaning and importance. choosing one is hard. if the name generator doesn’t give you a name, it should at least get the ball rolling. they have one for pretty much everything.

Roll20

basically a dnd specific discord! you can host games, display maps, and have access to all your player’s sheets in one place. i find this one a lil tricky to navigate without a mouse, but i’ve managed with just my trackpad. roll20 also has a fairly extensive compilation of resources like class descriptions, weapons, etc. etc. i use it a lot when making magic items and worldbuilding.

DnD Disability

all about incorporating disabilities into dnd! i really enjoy this site. they offer some creative mechanics for varieties of neurodivergence, chronic pain, and mobility aids. a super amazing resource to make your game more accessible.

Hero Forge

great for making character designs and has the option to buy a 3d print of your mini. some of the race options are little limiting (read: i tried to make a pigeon aarakocra out of a ravenfolk and it did not work), but overall is functional.

D&D Beyond

at this point i think everyone and their mother has heard of D&D beyond. it’s essentially the “official” dnd site, with all the official content and boundless homebrew. it has a character creator option too, which is useful for people who need some extra support. the issue is that it exists behind a paywall. if you want to add anything other than the “standard” options or use someone else’s homebrew in your game, you have to buy a membership. you can browse homebrew just fine without one, but can’t put it on your character sheet. for all it’s costly negatives, i do find joy in the unhinged and unbalanced home made things people conjure. worth at least looking at.

great for character and setting inspiration! also has some homebrew monsters, items, and weapons which can be meh. if you’re looking for nifty mechanics, pinterest may be your place as well. i have seen both phenomenally cool things i’ve incorporated into my games and the Most Questionable Things Ever.

Arcane Eye

more of a blog, but does contain exceptionally useful knowledge. much like roll20, arcane eye has resources that can inform you as a player or dm. they have guides to different things.

D&D Compendium

it sure is a compendium! it’s got the whole kitten caboodle, “how to dm” and “how to play” sections if you need some extra help, map tools, and a bunch of other how-to’s. they have links to other dnd resource sites as well, so if you can’t get it on the compendium, you can get it from one of those. you can also network and find a group to play with via the compendium. (but be careful with strangers from the internet, said the stranger from the internet.)

The Official D&D Site

has a bunch of free pdfs for character sheets and whatnot, as well as some pre-generated characters and basic rules. they don’t have a huge amount of content for free, but who can blame them with all the pirated content out there.

donjon

so many free generators. a dm’s best friend. they have map makers for dungeons, towns, npc’s, etc. so much stuff. so much. less useful for beginner players, more for dm’s. also good if you’re super into worldbuilding and want something to help.

Azggar’s Fantasy Map Generator

again, more for dm’s than players. also just really good for worldbuiling. if you want a unique and comprehensive overview of a world, continent, or country, azggar’s is a good place. when i saw comprehensive, i mean comprehensive. it’s got political state lines, capital cities, ports, trade routes, population densities, distribution of regional ethnic groups, religions, government styles, the whole works - all fully editable. the tools can be a lil confusing at first but they do get easier with practice.

Kassoon Puzzle Generator

puzzles and riddles for your players! some are simple, some are more complex, depending on the skill level and knowledge-base of your players. can be worked into dungeons or given as a one off in an encounter.

NPC Generator

the title says it all. gives a basic name, occupation, class, race, etc. for an npc. all of which can be edited and randomly generated.

The Homebrewery

a place to format your homebrews into an official-looking style. requires a smidgen of coding, but they have things that teach you that. it’s mostly for different headings and dispersion of sections.

Podcasts

if you’re just starting in dnd, listening to other people play can be informative, and hopefully entertaining. some shows are intended to be listened to as stories, rather than actual-play, other as wholly normal dnd, some a mix of both. they can spark inspiration for characters, settings, etc. i’ll give a mini list of my personal favourites (maybe a longer list later):

- dames and dragons: so lovely. i’ve been listening since high school, and at this point it feels like listening to old friends. top of my list, highly recommend.

- girls who don’t dnd: a group of girls who’ve never player dnd before playing dnd. this one is great for beginners who need more clarification on mechanics.

- dungeons and daddies: it’s about literal dads from earth transported to a magic realm. so so so funny.

and yeah! that concludes my list of my favourite resources for dnd for dm’s and players of all levels! happy playing!

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jamjuice04 · 9 months

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Ayo?? Transformers prime tickle content??? I never thought I would find any! Let's see some headcanons for... Eeeh any autobot in the series, you pick!

JAJSHSHSHJAJA THANK YOU I GET TO TALK ABOUT MY FAVORITE BOY

Ratchet:

Ler:

-Do not provoke him

-Seriously don’t

-Ratchet is a mean ler. Not in the sense that he’s actually mean, but he’s merciless

-Kinda has a love/hate relationship with tickling - he thinks it’s a little childish but also sees it as a way to bond with his family team

-He’ll also absolutely grumble at/scold someone while he’s wrecking them (“You brought this upon yourself”, “don’t startle me when I’m working”, “maybe you should take better care of yourself then”, etc.)

-He can also be very nice and gentle about it, but Raf and Bee are generally the only ones who see that side of him. Occasionally Optimus as well

-As the medic of Team Prime, he knows everyone’s weaknesses. He knows what works best on who, where they’re most sensitive, how to get to those places, etc. He even has a good idea of what his teammates act like when they either want to be tickled/are going to pull something on him

-That knowledge didn’t come from nowhere. He has wrecked everyone on Team Prime at least once, but for most of them it’s been more

-Repeat offenders are typically Bee, Optimus, Raf, and the Wrecker trio

-He won’t start tickle fights but if he gets dragged into one he will end it

-Surprisingly good at teasing, although it depends on his mood

-Most of the time what he considers “teasing” is actually scolding

-Which still works just fine

-However he will be more playful every once in a while and knows exactly how to make his teammates just die

-During those times he’s either more gentle or even more of an ass about it

-Like namely priding himself on being able to bring literally everyone on the team low with a few touches (his sense of self worth is six feet under let him have his fun)

-Doesn’t really have the patience for chasing or stalking someone unless he’s feeling playful, so usually he grabs whoever he’s going after and overpowers them

-He is stronger than he looks

-Running will not save you. He might not have the patience to chase someone down but he does have the patience to wait for them to let their guard down

-But occasionally when if he feels like the situation calls for it he’ll provide gentle cheer-up tickles

-Just enough for the lee to have fun and relax but not so much that it’s overwhelming in any sense

-Or in Optimus’ case (“if you don’t get off that computer and get some rest right now Primus help me-“) rougher tickles to stall his workaholic tendencies

-He’s a little more inclined to be affectionate when he’s wrecking someone, even if it’s just smiling fondly

-Not the most notorious tickle monster of Team Prime, but the most feared

-Considers himself above raspberries but if he’s feeling particularly playful he’ll use them

Lee:

-He and Optimus are generally considered to be the only two bots on Team Prime who aren’t at least a little ticklish. That is a lie. They’re both just really good at hiding it and also back each other up

-Embarrassingly ticklish

-Really good at hiding it/would rather die than let anyone find out

-He likes to intimidate people who try. Mainly just scowls at them until they stop trying

-He’s embarrassed by his laugh and prefers being in control so he’s really touchy about being tickled

-So if it’s with someone he trusts or he needs it he’s usually a good sport about it

-But if he’s not in the mood or if someone he isn’t close to tries he will absolutely deck their ass and be genuinely pissed

-Hard to catch off guard, especially if he has reason to believe someone’s out to get him

-He usually won’t try to run unless he knows for sure that he’s going to get attacked and there’s nothing he can do about it

-Weird mixture of being easy to overpower and extremely hard. If he’s caught off guard he can be pinned relatively easily, and if someone like Optimus or Bulkhead comes after him they can generally overpower him almost immediately. But if he’s expecting it or if it’s someone he’s bigger than, it’s hard to take him down

-Beware trying to wrestle him down. He’s had to wrangle many patients in his lifetime and again, he’s stronger than he looks. Don’t ever let his get the upper hand

-Speaking of hands, the easiest way to get him to crack is to tickle his palms or the back of his neck. His palms aren’t overly ticklish, but light touches make him squirm and ticklish kisses and nibbles will make him snicker and get very flustered

-He loves it tho. Probably the only place that he’ll willingly let someone tickle him and not struggle

-His worst spot is his belly. He can only keep a straight face for a few seconds before cracking if he isn’t expecting to be attacked

-Most other places aren’t super ticklish. He gets twitchy at light touches pretty much everywhere, but that’s a mixture of things

-Places where the plating is thinner like the vents on his sides or his thighs are a good way to make him laugh. His audios are a bit ticklish too

-He tries very hard not to laugh, including smothering it with his hand. Unless someone is getting him good, he’ll usually just curse and threaten through smothered chuckles that get more desperate and high pitched toward bad spots

-He’ll thrash and curse at whoever’s wrecking him unless it’s someone like Bee. He’ll still threaten Bee or the kids though. If it’s the kids getting him, he’ll try and force himself not to struggle as much so that he doesn’t hurt them by accident

-If someone is getting him good, he’ll focus more on trying to grab their hands or protect himself and laughs loudly. Despite his embarrassment over his laugh, his teammates think it’s a nice sound

-He tires easily for a couple different reasons, so it can become too much for him pretty quickly. If his attacker stops when he starts getting tired, he’ll usually just lay there and laugh softly until the residual sensations fade

-Rough tickles get lots of loud laughter, thrashing, and curses. It can also tire him out in minutes, and he usually can’t get revenge quickly

-Soft tickles fluster him to no end, and usually get softer laughter. If you tell anyone that he giggles or squeaks, he’ll kill you (not really).

-Teasing also flusters him. He hates it if it’s super condescending, but if it’s playful he just dies

-Other than empty threats or curses, he has a hard time getting anything out through his laughter

-He’s very tactile oriented, as well as being touch starved, which adds to how ticklish he is. Things like tracing patterns or affectionate gestures like ticklish kisses end him, but he likes it

-He’s a huge sucker for being cuddled afterwards. If his attacker does that, they’re more likely to get off the hook with some grumbling and maybe some soft tickles as revenge

-Speaking of, his revenge can be brutal. And he almost always gets some form of revenge

-Optimus is really the only one who tickles him often, usually to force him to rest or relax. It’s a system they have

-The others have gotten him a few times as well, once they figure out he and Optimus are lying about not being ticklish. So have the kids

-If he’s tired enough he’ll fall asleep on whoever wrecked him once they’re done

#yowza this got long #thanks again!!#I’m also starved for tfp tk content haha #headcanons #ler!ratchet #lee!ratchet #tfp tickles #transformers prime tickles #sfw tickling #transformers tickle

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sara-scribbles · 2 years

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kinda random and silly but how about which house warden and vice could you take in a fist fight and would you win?

Fist-fighting the dorm leaders and their vice

To keep this simple, I’m going to pretend the fool person who decided to fight these boys can kinda fight but not an expert. Let’s pretend no one can use magic for some reason.

Riddle

You could definitely take him in a fist-fight. And it probably wouldn’t be too hard to instigate a fight if you pick at him enough

Should you fight him though? I mean knock yourself out I guess, no one’s gonna stop you except maybe Trey. I'm sure a few Heartslabyul students have wanted to fight Riddle too for how he used to be

Outcome: You win. Congrats?

Trey

You could take him in a fight. He doesn’t look like much of a physical person. Trey would probably try to decline the fight in a civil way

But why would you want to hurt the dorm mom? He bakes you sweets, that’s just mean!

Outcome: You win but will probably have the rest of Heartslabyul after you so keep that in mind

Leona

You could not take him in a fight. Even without magic, Leona’s still a beastman which makes him stronger and faster. Those wiry arms can do damage

Could try fighting him while he’s napping to get a head start. He’ll probably grudgingly respect your dirty ways but then he’ll beat your ass

Outcome: You lose. Why did you think fighting a furry from a dorm that's basically a bunch of gym bros was a good idea?

Ruggie

I see Ruggie as being quick and slippery when fighting, so you could possibly take him in a fight but he still has more strength than the average human

Will definitely have tricks up his sleeve cause I can imagine he's learned a few things or two growing up. Survival of the fittest and all, Ruggie will fight to survive

Outcome: You have a 60% chance of losing. Ruggie will laugh at you and demand payment after

Azul

You can totally take him in a fight. His natural habitat is the sea, so fighting him on land would be easy peasy. Plus he's probably too busy making contracts and counting lounge’s revenue to hit the gym

Has to take off his glasses first cause he doesn't want to break them. He cries the moment you take a swing and gets knocked out in like one or two hits

Outcome: You win. You're basically fighting a fish flopping on dry land

Jade

Do you want to die? What makes you think you can take on this giant eel? He probably wouldn't need to punch you to win. Man could literally rip your throat out with his teeth

But if you insist on fighting Jade, all the power to you. He'll kick your ass with the most polite expression. Will probably give you a bill for the fight, so you'll have to pay it off by working in the lounge

Outcome: You lose. What did you expect from someone that exudes murder vibes?

Kalim

Why would you fight this literal ray of sunshine? Out of all the students at NRC, he doesn’t deserve it. Kalim would probably think you just need to vent and would gladly let you beat him up if it'll make you feel better

Jamil would step in considering he needs to watch over Kalim. But knowing Kalim, he'll tell Jamil that it's okay because he obviously did something that made you upset

Outcome: You win. Was it worth kicking a puppy? Huh??

Jamil

Honestly, he probably doesn't have time for this. Looking after Kalim, cooking for Kalim, taking care of the dorm, etc. this boy is tired of the shenanigans

He's kind of athletic, being a dancer and all, so I think he could possibly hold his own. However, expect Kalim to try and stop the fight because how could he allow his "best friend" to get hurt

Outcome: You have a higher chance of winning but mainly because Jamil is trying to get Kalim to stop clinging on him

Vil

He literally took down a couple of beastmen in Beanfest. Do you really think you can win against him? It's a stupid idea but if you insist, go ahead

He'll knock you out in a few graceful hits and then insult your form, your dress, your lack of manners, etc. You basically get beaten up verbally

Outcome: You lose and should’ve seen that coming

Rook

Good luck finding him first. He's probably somewhere watching you, but he's not going to come out. And even if Rook did decide to entertain the idea of fighting you, he's like ripped. Maybe not as much as Jack or Vargas, but don't be fooled by his "oui, oui" attitude

Rook probably would be the type to knock you out from behind. You wouldn't even have a chance to take a step before you're out like a light

Outcome: You lose to a baguette with a questionable page-boy cut

Idia

Is there any question that you can fight Idia? He spends his time indoors and mostly away from physical activities. You'd have to get him out of his room first, but after a good old one-two punch, he's out

Though is that really such a satisfying win? Beating the shut-in, tech gamer doesn't have the nicest ring to it. Plus, you'd have to contend with Ortho, who'd probably laser beam you before you could run for hurting his brother

Outcome: You win but will probably die by laser shortly after

Ortho

The other character that I ask: why would you want to fight him? He's also basically a kid, so you're beating up a child. Ortho doesn't seem to be bad, much like Kalim, so there's really no reason to fight him beyond being mean

Let’s not forget he has the state of the art advance body, though. He'll fry you to a crisp if he really does see you as a threat. And even if he didn't have a laser, I don't think hitting a metal body is good for your hands

Outcome: You lose and half of NRC is destroyed

Malleus

You want to fight the dragon? The fae that can transform into a dragon? You sure? Okay, you're funeral. And lets say Malleus can't transform, it's still not a good idea. He could probably stab you with his horns bull style

You'll have to also deal with Silver and Sebek. So more headaches and 3 on 1 isn't very fair. It's not like they care much about the one-on-one rules, you're trying to fight the future king of their home. Lilia is watching off to the side while eating popcorn

Outcome: You lose by either getting roasted by a dragon, stabbed by horns, stabbed by a sword from Silver or thrown by Sebek. Pick your ending

Lilia

He's a former royal guard and probably a couple hundred years old. Do the math. Lilia could also just float out of your reach until you tire yourself out

Thinks it's fun watching you struggle. Doesn't take the fight seriously. Silver might have a few words for you. Lilia bops you on the head a few times as a joke

Outcome: You probably don't even end up fighting and that's for the best

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zebulontheplanet · 1 month

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Hello

I am so sorry if this not good to ask/ the right place to ask (idk how tumblr works yet). Please lmk if so and i will not do it again /gen.

I am concerned I may be exhibiting signs of catatonia. I know it is not smth to be self dxd and is very serious but I can't find a huge amount of useful things online and idk what to do so i thought id ask you so i can get a better idea of whether to seek professional help seeing as you have lived experience with it. I hope that's okay

I have slowly been losing skills over the past year (not in burnout). Ive lost a lot of maskjng ability, I find speaking harder and often talk like a younger child despite my advanced vocabulary as a result, I get stuck on tasks and now need physical or verbal prompting to do a lot of tasks like bADLs i didnt need this for before (not counting iADLs bc i dont need to do those because im 15, nearly 16, altho i doubt they would be better). My sensory issues have worsened and so have my meltdowns and shutdowns (which were already not great). I have episodes where I feel like I literally cannot move and my body won't move or will only move very slowly or jerkily. It is like it won't process what my brain is telling it to do. I also stim more often and far more noticeably. Idk who to go to. :(

What other overall areas does catatonia cause decline in - for example does it cause social skills to decline, etc? I've noticed my social skills worsening quite a lot too which is why i ask.. the stuff ive found online can be a bit vague/ confusing or not what i want to know.

I'm scared because idk what is happening and it's really confusing. You don't have to respond to this and I'm sorry for rambling.. is it worth going to a professional? Can this kind of thing be caused by other stuff? If I were to go to a professional it would probably take ages because the waitlists are so long here. I'm just really confused and kinda scared and I dont want to lose more skills :(

Hello, so regular catatonia is different from autism catatonia with regression. Catatonia is very serious, and if you believe you are having it then PLEASE seek out medical attention. Autism Catatonia is usually regressive, and gets worse with time without treatment. Which, I am personally experiencing and it’s the reason I’m on medication for it.

Catatonia is a very serious condition, and can be life threatening in some. So it’s important to know the warning signs and contact a professional. Do NOT wait and contact someone as soon as possible.

Regression is hard, but regression doesn’t mean catatonia. So if you think you’re experiencing regression then that doesn’t automatically mean you have catatonia, if that makes sense. Catatonia for me is episodes of complete freezing, and episodes of slowness. Even outside of tasks I have catatonia. Although tasks are a huge trigger for my catatonia.

Please don’t try and self diagnose it and seek out medical help. I hope you have a lovely day and get the help you need. ❤️

#zebrambles #autism #autism catatonia #catatonia #asks and answers #thanks for the anon

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inflammatoryfandomblog · 1 year

Text

okay. so voltron’s second season (”seasons” 3-6) were. well.

i have to say that i sort of vastly preferred the first production block. i definitely think the show was more in its element with the episodic “defeat zarcon” stuff than with... to be honest, i have no idea what’s happening.

i mean it started off pretty good. could have gone in a lot of directions. i was interested in the idea of lotor, whose ideology seemed to be a very good contrast to zarcon’s but still seemed to be a good villain. a darker side to the alteans, the fact that the lions can bond to multiple paladins, etc etc etc.

like idk, i know there are people that would take issue with it but it would have been kinda cool if various characters could bond to the different lions sometimes, and the relationship with each one could reveal something about the character. like maybe it would have been a contrast to zarcon, who was hyperfixated on the black lion and thought that because it was the leader, it was the Important One or whatever.

anyways this is called “inflammatoryfandomblog” and it’s time for the griping.

-> the plot is about quintessence, which... the galra empire depends on for some reason, even though it was really the druids we’ve seen use it before, and they were destroying whole planets for the stuff and using it to power zarcon’s little ego “i’m going to get the lions trip.” it’s kind of unclear what else uses it. and i think that’s like my main issue with this season/production block? aside from the S1-like episodes, it feels very muddled and hard to really get into.

i just. am trying to make sense of lotor’s plan. or haggar’s plan. or what they each wanted. or what even what quintessence does. quintessence seems to be like, a... theme-thing... for being too entrenched in the past and what you’ve lost, and so being poisoned by it is losing sight of the present by trying to recreate it. at least that’s what makes the most sense. it’s not, uh, subtle--but it’s not used well enough to relieve it of the Magical Bullshit feeling.

(this is something she-ra has over voltron; whatever plot magic BS happens is generally woven in better, thematically, with adora and glimmer and catra--but this just might be because there’s a lot less characters and she-ra very early on drops the pretense of being political in any way; it’s the type of series that’s very transparent with that--it says “yeah lmao our world doesn’t matter this is basically a basic family story with princess/scifantasy icing”, while voltron is very different in this regard, and so this approach does it no favors, because how it developed its world was a very good selling point for me in the first production block)

like “oh we just offer them more quintessence and they’ll listen to me” seems like a really bad justification for......... anything......... and idk if they even needed that plotline, i feel like lotor wanting to create an “inclusive/fair empire” is a pretty interesting oxymoron without the weird altean magic stuff. that haggar also unlocked. somehow. i wasn’t very invested in it i suppose; it failed to sort of convince me at any point of being true to the setting, which was a real strength of the first season.

-> i remember being miffed at the lack of shiro/lotor interactions (i mean, the lack of interactions sort of gave it away that this shiro was not worth investing into, especially since it was so telegraphed that druidlady was controlling him, but i was annoyed at the time) because i dunno, real!shiro and lotor could have built up an understanding re: being forced by zarcon to do bad stuff. generally the shiro clone plot is very meh, i feel it would have been better if a) the “real” shiro was actually taken to be some sort of trojan or he’s dead and the clone has to reckon with what it means and be an actual character or b) shiro’s spirit guided them and he was a mentor figure the entire way through, only getting back into a body at some point or another.

generally the entire clone plotline was just kind of worse than most possible alternatives to it, including having both shiros be alive and kicking. as it is now shiro is basically the same as the one from the first production block and can’t have changed.

-> for a second, since most of my predictions panned out in some way, that shiro *was* actually going to be zarcon all along. that would have been wild. similarly a very funny alternate universe is one where the gang splits the comet, gives half of it to the evil alteans and half of it to the galra and simply lets them fight.

-> i liked that the characters went off and had lives/missions outside of voltron (or at least, pidge/keith) and had a few episodes dedicated to those. those, aside from the early “season 3″ episodes and the fun one-shot ones were very enjoyable breaks from the mostly incoherent main plot. i had fun watching them instead of being like “hmm. so this is a Thing now” in the Main Story

i really feel that ultra-dramatic storytelling is not these writers’ strong suit. which, fair, i mean, i’m not a writer, but i don’t think it’s a stretch to say that they’re a lot better with episodes with some implications as opposed to long, serialized, dramatic structures as a group. i think it might just be a matter of experience; most cartoons until the 2010s were very episodic, and longer stories just have more production/meddling complications which are non-trivial, whereas with episodes, if something doesn’t work... you can just dump it. but episode-episodes also don’t play well with streaming. just kind of an unfortunate media-landscape conundrum there.

(note that japanese animation for example, while it’s very serialized, most of the time has the benefit of having source material already laid out for it. really the equivalent of something like that are like, comic book shows i guess.)

-> animation is really stellar and action is very good. studio mir is great. they always stick the landing.

-> i guess i like that they tried to do something with the idea of “the evil emperor is dead/gone, now what?” which is kind of a difficult plot to write honestly, especially when the main cast are transformer-power-rangers, it’s not obvious how to make them relevant enough to have the focus on them. (and in classic fashion, i don’t really like making suggestions.)

-> lance is going to get with allura nooooooo. i was really invested in the idea that he defects because of a hot girl. instead he just gets jealous of lotor. the sad thing is i really think they could have been at least good friends (lance/allura). the scene where allura replicates trying to flirt with the blue lion is really funny, and lance bringing out everyone’s goofballness would have been a good variant on his general archetype. instead lance is mostly Annoying and gets a few disconnected Scenes. i can’t even really think of a good lance episode this season.

-> pidge baby though. she’s obviously flawed (esp with the prisoner exchange stuff like wth lady) and like. the main plot is dead to me at this point. but i really liked her side episodes. same with keith etc etc.

-> predictions for next season (if i get around to watching it):

-> 1. sendak (zendak?) invades earth. “YOU EARTHLINGS DEFEATED ME LIKE A CHUMP... LOOK WHO’S THE CHUMP NOW???” -> 2. allura and coran start a cow extermination policy -> 3. everyone gets sent to a mental institution and they have to break out -> 4. haggar does some quintessence bullshit and tries to revive lotor or whatever. zombie lotor is horribly mangled and rips a hole through reality again! -> 5. shiro binge-watches all the series he’s missed in the time he’s been dead. he likes kdramas or wuxia. not anime though. -> 6. ?????? lance becomes embroiled in cuban politics. just randomly. (he’s the one who likes anime.)

#vld #reactions #me.txt #begone thought #maybe #i feel like it's really not THAT bad.#i don't really understand the fans' hate for it. to me i sort of got more or less what i expected.#i mean there are worse series out there that promise more upfront #i didn't particularly expect this show to be very Deep and the plot is blockbuster movie basically. maybe b-movie.#i like the action. i like the ideas. the main plot kinda bad though #which is like. honestly. most action shows.

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toxicanonymity · 11 months

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Do you ever struggle with feelings of discouragement or inadequacy if your fics don’t do as well as you had hoped?

I’m struggling with that myself. I try not to get so hung up on it but it’s very hard, especially when something I’m so proud of doesn’t do as well as my other works.

I don’t even feel motivated to write bc I don’t wanna set myself up for disappointment

Discouragement, sure, I think that's natural sometimes. But I really don't feel like stats have anything to do with adequacy. Baring my soul, yuck. But fuck it we ball. Sorry it's a long answer.

I don't think I've ever answered a serious ask aside from the time i created Dr. rock which hardly counts but I've seen a lot of people struggling with this lately and hope this might be idk comforting to a person or two without leading to debate/discourse.

You mentioned something you're proud of isn't doing as well as your other works, and I can see how that would be disappointing. For laughs, I'll compare 2 of mine. These fics are impossible to compare (as are most, I think) but I def understand the urge to measure yourself against what you see as the potential. Aches: <1k popular trope I banged out in no time, wasn't sure about it, literally thought "people don't have to like it" before I hit post. >4 notes per word. Left in Lincoln: >22k posted so far, challenging, writing it for months. Has possibly driven me crazy bc I had this passing thought the other day and not about TLOU. (I didn't feel like re-reading it all): "I should just rewatch the movie. . .wait." 🤡 The whole Lincoln series combined has fewer notes than Aches lmao. But it's far more rewarding in getting to see it come to life, quality of engagement, and stretching myself 😏. It's not for everyone, for various reasons. Surely would have better stats without the twist I went with. But at what cost??

-------

Often, if people don't read or like something, it's a reflection of their own interests, limitations, and assumptions. And the right "fit."

I don't rly read much in general, but specifically, I rarely read long stuff (if I do I prob scan a lot tbh). I normally only want, if any, just enough plot/premise to build sexual tension. I don't read fluff or angst. I don't have the attention span / commitment to get invested in original characters. I tend to avoid stuff similar to what I'm working on. I make assumptions - If there's no word count, maybe it's too long. I know a lot of the fics I skip for these reasons must be fantastic. Assumptions I experience - I've seen very popular fics in the wild that strike me as dark, creepy, or pervy but aren't tagged that way. So some things that are tagged dark, etc., including plenty of mine, might not be dark in the way people assume based on their own ideas, or based on what others do tag. Also some people think I only write dark when sometimes it's just horny (see master list).

I've sometimes found myself thinking "It sucks more people don't read this bc i bet they would enjoy it" (not just my own fics). It might sound egotistical but I think it's often true.

------

Of course I want engagement because that means more people reading something which can mean more interaction, discussion, learning what you liked, what you think, etc. that's what I love.

But notes aren't rly near the top of what I care about, even though it does feel great to get them and I truly appreciate every single one.

Night walks doesn't get nearly as many notes as some of my other stuff, especially these days, but it's fun to write and I like to feed his feral fans who only get more into him with time. Same with raider: among those who do read and engage, I sense rising enthusiasm, thirst, and rate of falling in love with him (my bad). That's all worth more than 1000 likes to me. I have a good time writing these guys, so I write them more than other ones that get way more notes 🤷. I'm not saying notes don't matter at all, I know they affect exposure and engagement. But if just did what gets notes, I don't think I'd have such high quality engagement bc I'd just bang out more stuff with the most popular tropes instead of our fave Joels and those destined to become our faves bc they offer something special.

My outlook was the same before I had so many followers btw. Rock Bottom (22k) was what I felt like writing, still more ambitious than anything I've done in the Halloween fandom. I was disappointed it got way less attention than my one shots, but I know it's a banger, just certainly not for everyone lol.

I'm sorry for what you're experiencing and feeling, but I think it's very common and hope you can reframe it to not feel inadequate. I especially hope it doesn't discourage you from writing. ❤️

#ask #how the sausage is made #toxicanonymity writer's room #this doesnt mean i answer serious asks now lol

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alphabetboyluvr · 3 months

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Ok so I saw that long ass post that anon sent you about the vote thing on Wattpad, and while I don’t agree with some of what they said where they told you what to do (which they shouldn’t have done, they were rude) I do actually agree with them where they said people don’t tend to look at the votes when deciding whether or not to read a story. I actually think the whole vote thing is just something only authors care about, not readers.

As an avid reader on Wattpad, I do give votes just because authors like it- but I don’t actually give a shit about how many votes a story has when I’m looking for my next story to read. I look at the number of views- which I think you’ll find most readers do, even though the view count can be skewed.

Either way, I do think the whole vote thing should be taken off Wattpad as to the majority of readers, they really don’t care about it and it doesn’t give a good representation of how good a story is

I've been thinking about this all a lot ever since the last anon came in. I'll probably avoid answering questions about this topic again, but there does seem to be disconnect between the writer and reader standpoint, so I'll try and explain my thoughts as best I can without waffling for ages lol

my answer is to this ask, but also to the topic in general, and thoughts I've had regarding that last anon.

it's a really difficult topic to discuss because wattpad has an algorithm that is never really explained to writers. i cant say its important because xyz - i can just give you my own experience. ive been on wattpad for 11 years and have seen it through many changes. i used to use the activity tab to find new stories, and i honestly think getting rid of that was detrimental to the user experience tbh.

as it stands, we don't know what the algorithm favours, so we have to do what we can.

and what can we do? we can tag our work, we can acquire reads and votes, and then we can do more laborious things such as entering award books run by other users and engaging with our readers in various ways.

the tag system, and trending stories under those tabs, are really skewed. for instance, I don't think any of my stories have ever made it onto the fanfic tab, nor have I ever ranked highly under tags despite having really engaged readers and metrics which would suggest I would be.

so, unlike what the last anon said, my stories haven't always been 'out there'. word of mouth, and some stroke of luck tiktoks, are what's pushed them more than anything. so in that way, yeah the desire for votes is flawed—but personally I don't think read count is indicative of quality. if we're thinking about it from a marketing standpoint and conversion rates etc, votes a far more indicative of quality and I'd rather be known for quality over quantity.

the last anon also specifically noted the number of reads/follows I have on wattpad, and suggested that I shouldn't care because those numbers are high—which, respectfully I disagree with. if I didn't care in the early days, I wouldn't have pushed myself to make it to where i am. you can't just expect me to switch off that part of my personality. I'm ambitious and I really care about the things I create.

my girliepop oc's tend to have ambitious streaks and personal goals that they work hard for. they take after their mother, in that sense.

i think what confuses me the most is why it irks people, when you boil it down. its a tap on the screen for readers—and having just uploaded an 11k chapter that took hours to write, to edit, to craft, only to then be told its not worth it? i dunno man, it's just mean lol.

you can think these thing by all means, but don't come into my space just to be cruel. sometimes it okay to keep your opinions in your group chats.

the system is flawed, but I don't think you can blame a gal for just trying to work with it in the only way she knows how

#like at the end of the day none of this matters #none of it at all #i just take such offense to labelled as greedy lmao #its really bothered me lol #ask #sorry to this anon tho cause i went on a big ass tangent

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