Yesterday: took Luna for a walk outside no problem. Even mowed the lawn.
Today: stepped outside to take Luna for a walk and damn near meltdown from the sounds of birds, neighbours talking, a car driving past, an alarm clock buzzing in a house down the street that I can hear, bright sunlight, the feel of the grass on my bare feet...
Just because I did it yesterday doesn't mean I can do it today.
*BBC GHOSTS SERIES FOUR SPOILERS*
S04E02 was such a special episode to me and it was mostly due to Kitty and the Captain's engagement throughout. I headcanon that they are both on the autism spectrum and I think the episode was really good at showing how different people show different traits.
Let me explain.
Kitty and the Captain are two very different people; the way they see the world is very different. But, what we do see is that they connect with one another in a very unique, very autistic way. It isn't uncommon for autistic people to communicate with one another in a way that only other autistic people would understand.
Ghosts is such a well-written show and I love that we get such authentic neurodivergent representation, whether it was intended or not. I love that we can see ourselves in these characters.
While Kitty is rather free-spirited and enjoys going with the flow, the Captain is the complete opposite. Their differing upbringings and lives have shaped the way they behave and view time.
Kitty is shown to be a fun-loving, intelligent, empathic, positive and free-spirited person. She is depicted as be excitable and friendly. She is depicted to be intelligent and she always thinks outside the box to come up with solutions to issues that the other ghosts find difficult to deal with.
Meanwhile, the Captain is shown to be rigid, rather cold, difficult to communicate with and very, very particular about rules and regulations. But, beneath that mask (and it is a mask - it's a mask he struggles to take off, which is common in autistic people) he is mellow, loving and honest. He is shown to have a strong moral compass and a positive attitude. While he struggles to communicate his emotions and his feelings, he brightens when he talks about his interests - the military and all things related to the military.
The Captain is dedicated to his role and is shown to understand people's emotions. While all of these are rather stereotypical traits, the Captain is not shown to be unlikeable. He's relatable and the other ghosts are fond of him. He doesn't shy away from negative feedback and does his best to better his communication and opinions. It's so pleasant to see. He's a people pleaser.
I think it's very interesting that the Captain has to wear this mask and Kitty doesn't feel the need to. Cap worked in an environment and grew up in a society where being yourself was frowned upon - especially as a homosexual man. He had to adopt a regimental view on life and grapple the way of life that was expected of a soldier. Whereas Kitty grew up in a different world. She never had to undertake any duties or try to impress anyone. She simply existed in her own bubble. While her family didn't particularly want her to be her complete self, she remained true to herself and stuck to her guns.
I love that. I love when autistic people can be themselves.
Another interesting difference between the two of them is their relationship with conflict. The Captain, as expected, was not opposed to violence or war or conflict because of his role. He opts to think strategically about how to win a battle against the enemy, whereas Kitty is very conflict-avoidant. She refuses to get involved and avoids all forms of conflict - opting to offer solutions to avoid further violence. This is a very common autistic trait in women.
On another note, Kitty's vocalisation is very emotive - she speaks in emotions. You can tell how she is feeling by the tone of her voice, whereas the Captain is rather monotonal and rarely shows emotion. Both of these are common traits of autism.
It's not uncommon for autistic people to misinterpret when someone is uninterested in what we are saying when talking about our special interests, and Cap is no different. He doesn't pick up on the social cues very well. Even in this episode, he doesn't recognise that Kitty is uninterested in his facts about ants.
It's canon in my mind that his special interests extend into birds and insects, and he likes to puzzle this together with facts about the military.
LOOK AT THAT SMILE WHILE HE'S TALKING ABOUT ANTS AND MILITARY REGIMES.
This is an autistic man talking about his special interest. I won't hear any arguments.
In addition, the Captain is shown to have a difficult time with co-ordination. It isn't a stretch to imagine he may be Dyspraxic. He struggles to dance and can never get a rhythm.
This episode was further evidence of this, when he was struggling to skip with Kitty in the garden. Dyspraxia is co-morbid with autism.
Oh, and both of these ghosts stim. The Captain rocks on his feet, fiddles with his hand and plays with his stick when he's trying to regulate himself and his emotions. He clears his throat and raises his chin. These are all stims. They're stims he's adopted to help him cope with the outside world. And they're so natural. Kitty, on the other hand, flaps her hands, stims with her voice and throws her limbs in the air to show excitement.
Kitty's stimming is shown to aid her regulating her emotions, which is so important for autistic people ... because we all know what happens when she gets too excited. She throws up.
And, of course, this whole episode is evidence of the Captain's autism. The whole reason why Kitty was trying to help the Captain was because plans changed. He couldn't cope with that, he went into a panic. He has a very strict schedule that he sticks to religiously. And when things change unannounced he doesn't know how to cope. I like that Kitty was able to help him with that in this episode because it's something we all struggle with as autistic people. It was so well-written.
I just love the way these two interact. They couldn't be more different in personality but they are always able to find a common ground; they understand one another in a way the other ghosts can't.
I love how Kitty helps the Captain to relax and find peace with his life (or death), and I love that Cap helps Kitty to understand the world better and navigate through her life (or death) in such a simple way.
LOOK AT THEM. I love these two autistic ghosts with all my heart.
Yo. Public service announcement.
If you're gonna make content from creepy pasta, r/cantsleep, scp, or whatever. Please PLEASE start your content with "this is a story and it's entirely fiction" before your content?
And I'm not talking about if you make content on these forums where it's pretty well understood that it's fiction and everyone consents to your fictional scary stories. I'm talking about if you make a tiktok about a creepypasta you read.
The algorithm will not always keep your content in your little creepypasta/scp bubble, and you'll seriously fuck people up. ESPECIALLY if you know your story could be mistaken as truth.
Stories about statues that attack you when you look away? Most reasonable people understand that couldn't happen.
Stories of mysterious bloody writing on the walls? Okay, that's 50/50 and some people that are open-minded about the paranormal might still believe it.
Stories about fictional Russian experiments where people went mad? That shit really happened throughout history, so it's to be expected that someone might believe you.
Idk if it's because I'm neurodivergent, if it's because of my experience with psychosis, or if I'm just gullible and too trusting. But I'm seriously annoyed with randomly getting these stories across my social media and freaking the fuck out and later realizing that it's fake.
And I'm lucky that this time that I watched all 3 parts of this tiktok and the woman stated at the end "now this is just a creepypasta and none of this is real". Because I guess that's just her content, telling stories while she does her makeup.
But the first time it happened is when SCP was extremely new and I had nightmares for weeks.