LMAO someone give Dick Grayson a medal for understanding that when Bruce stalks you and asks to take your blood, it's his way of showing he loves his kid.

his little boy!!!!

Dp x Dc

Clark got an invite to visit is cousin Maddie in Amity park! He always enjoys visiting them. Its a wild time, Maddie's kids are nice, and he gets to be the coolest cousin in the world. Impressing his little cousins with tricks that could only be explained by magic (he has litteraly crushed a rock to dust to make is "disapear").

But when he arrives this time, maybe bringing a few friends with him (i imagine the main group is Bruce, Clark, Lous, and maybe Damian, Tim, Conner, and Jon), the Town is chaos. Rouge government agents running around, magic undead creatures wreaking Havoc, and a young superhero barely holding it together. Even worse, Maddie and her husband seem so wrapped up in their work that they don't even notice their kids half the time! AND WHY DOES DANNY FORGET TO BREATH????!?!?!?!?!?

the babies (dick grayson & bruce wayne) (please don't flop this took a stupid amount of time) (i used a different pen and im not a fan switch back to my bae 😒) (i looove dick grayson as robin)

3 jokers au but dick and tim have both killed one of them after jasons death but told no one and then were horrified when HE CAME BACK.

jason comes back to life and kills the third one after realising bruce will never do it himself and theres no more joker and

dicks just like "how the fuck did it actually work for you"

jason "what"

tim "right like it didnt stick when i tried"

jason "WHAT"

dick and tim realising what theyve just said "wait i mean um"

you killed the joker? but i killed the joker?

The idea of the Batkids doing normal people things while suited up is hilarious to me, you know, like Red Robin and Spoiler making the 9 o'clock news while racing through a grocery store because they totally forgot to get the things Alfred asked them to bring for the family dinner. Or Damian and Dick swinging into the Bludhaven Zoo mid-patrol because Dami really wanted to see the new baby tiger. Red Hood buying lemonade from a kid's stand and then standing there awkwardly messing with his helmet, trying not to hurt the kid's feelings. Black Bat, on a particularly tiring day randomly appeared in the nosebleeds of the ballet hall and started sniping phones out of people's hands. Or Signal and a deeply irritated Batman changing out a blown-out tyre in some back alley, earning amused looks.

word gets around gotham (somehow, some way) that the Bats all know a variety of rare or difficult languages, including several varieties of sign language.

the Gotham PD language line/translation services are woefully underfunded and never show up on time on a good day.

cue an enterprising sergeant on night desk duty routinely using Gordon’s bat signal to put out a request for language services in the middle of the night.

the kicker? Batman or one of his kids usually — sometimes — shows up. more frequently than the actual services, at least.

I've read a bunch of fics, especially some crossovers, where Red Hood is or was on the FBI's most wanted list. A couple where he's on like the CIA's or Interpol's or something. But do you know what I'd find hilarious?

He's on absolutely none of them.

A big fanon thing, and sometimes canon (looking at you, No Man's Land), is that the federal government just kind of... doesn't get involved in Gotham? It's just left to it's own devices.

So combine that with both Gothamites-hate-outsiders and the idea that there are so many more/worse people to deal with than the crime boss who's somehow been bringing crime down, and, well. Sure, they have a file on the guy, but it's bare bones and nowhere near the top priority list.

Even funnier is if this is pre-reveal, so Batman doesn't know it's Jason that's running around taking over crime and whatever, he's just busy trying to find out who this guy who put a bunch of heads in a duffel bag is. He makes some small comment about it at some JL meeting and everyone is like, whomst?

Like sure, people outside of Gotham who do hear about Red Hood are horrified, but also it's... normal? Isn't that normal for Gotham? They all hear so many crazy stories coming out of Gotham that who knows what's exaggerated or not, but that's not even... that weird? Like, gory, sure, but... it's Gotham.

Just every outsider's views of Gotham being so skewed and/or biased that hardly anyone blinks an eye at some rising crime boss in the most crime-ridden city on the planet.

You can always tell how much Jason is sorry by his hot chocolate...

Prev / Index

Commission Info / Kofi

I love it when the batfamily is allowed to age.

And they are still fighting crime.

Part of the whole appeal is how they're just normal ass people without any powers, minus Duke, but still go out there stopping some major crime scheme.

Even better if you compare them to athletes or gymnasts, who retire in their 20's.

Has the batfam ever cared about this? No. So it's not stopping them.

And you know what would be even funnier?

If Bruce would be the last to retire. The one who started it all.

18+ minors dni

what’s better than a 2 for 1 special? a 3 for 1 special! please cheer.

warnings: smidge of overstim 🤫

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

jason “move your hand” todd who pins your arms above your head to keep you out of his way. his face is inches from yours as he fucks you harshly into the mattress, enjoying the way you whine at every intrusion. your spine arches off the bed as you struggle under his grip, your sensitivity overwhelming you. “c’mon, ma,” he rasps, a cocky grin on his lips as you start to shake. “thought you said you could take it.”

dick “let me hear you” grayson who makes you beg for what you need. his hands rub your thighs lovingly as you glare at him and buck your hips in frustration, your aching cunt devastatingly empty despite the slow circles he’s rubbing on your clit. “you gotta tell me what you want, pretty girl,” he tuts gently, teasing his cock along your leaking entrance as you clench around nothing. “use your words for me.”

bruce “I’ll buy you another one” wayne who doesn’t bother waiting until you’re naked to fuck you. the delicate fabric of your gown snags on an old painting as he drives his cock into you while you’re pressed against the wall, filling you at an angle that makes you cry out with each thrust. “sorry about the dress, sweetheart,” he says between the sloppy kisses he’s peppering down your neck. “we’ll get a new one.”

LMAO Dick's just so blase about this, it's the epitome of "You know those days where you're like this might as well happen? Adult life is already so goddamned weird." like this is every day with Bruce Wayne as your dad, this is just how he shows he loves you, by reverse stalking you and asking for blood samples and helicopter parenting you in the weirdest goddamned way.

Batman/Superman: World's Finest #26 (2024)

written by Mark Waid art by Dan Mora & Tamra Bonvillain

[in a Zoom meeting]

Barbara: *checks to make sure she's on mute*

Barbara: *checks to make sure she's on mute*

Barbara: *checks to make sure she's on mute*

Barbara: *checks to make sure she's on mute*

Barbara: *checks to make sure she's on mute*

Bruce: *calls on her*

Barbara: *can't find the mute button to unmute herself*