OMG the facial expressions too…Will you two just kiss already?

the babies (dick grayson & bruce wayne) (please don't flop this took a stupid amount of time) (i used a different pen and im not a fan switch back to my bae 😒) (i looove dick grayson as robin)

I'm suddenly imagining a 15 year-old Bruce bringing an 8 year-old Dick home from a tragedy at the circus. Alfred realizes that he's going to have to file for guardianship of a second kid.

This time it's Dick dragging Bruce into crime fighting? Imagine Bruce becoming Batman specifically to help Dick achieve justice / stop Dick from killing the perpetrator. Imagine Alfred realizing he's going to have to figure out how to train these two kids somehow so they don't get themselves murdered in the organized crime capital of DC Comics.

Dick: on the one hand, I would give anything to hear my mother’s voice again

Dick: on the other hand, not being able to remember helps me avoid certain types of psychological warfare

*sounds of yelling in the background as Damian mimicries Janet Drake*

Bruce probably gets so annoyed when he gets into one of his cars and realizes that his kids have adjusted the seats or the mirrors (most obvious when either Jason or Cass have used it), that he refuses to build that capability into the Batmobile at all, regardless of if it would be more useful.

Au where Batman’s rogues can tell that someone else is acting as Batman (but not who it is) so they all slump in relief because they can finally reuse old schemes. They don’t have to come up with a new plan for the 30th time this year!

That is until Batman (dick who was very much there as Robin for all these schemes) starts cracking down on them in a 1/4 of the time it should have taken to catch them.

The riddler sets up a glorified treasure hunt? Dick gives the final answer before even looking at the first clue. Two face stages a mock trial? Dick dodges all the rope traps and cuts the “accused free” after cuffing the “judge” who was the actual guilty one.

They are all terribly miffed and try tripping him up…only he was there when they tried to do that to Bruce too.

While I'm sure bad guys in Gotham have learned over time that the Bats don't kill, that even after bashing your teeth in they'll flag down an ambulance or dump you unceremoniously at the ER, it's still a shaky trust.

One that is easily shaken seeing a child wielding a sword in the dead of night; nobody wants to learn how that is handled nonlethally. Or bad guys just surrendering one late night after running into an alley and Nightwing's standing over their unconscious buddy, holding the gun he wrestled away. They watch Red Hood break into the place they're robbing with a crowbar in hand and just decide they'd rather not chance it. They see a shadow that could be Black Bat and-- you get it.

Jason Todd's not-Robin vigilante names

Bruce is that parent who after raising the craziest fucking kids of all time, thinks everyone else's kid is a terrible influence and all rebellious (or even slightly normal) thoughts his kids have can be traced back to their "friends".

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types, The Batman (Movie 2022) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne Characters: Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent Additional Tags: Bruce Wayne's eyes never stood a chance, SuperBat, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Clark's having a little too much fun at his expense, i really don't know how to tag this, Not Beta Read, One Shot, Bad Puns Summary:

Clark and Bruce don't see eye-eye about Bruce needing glasses.

tim drake trying to explain something complex but he keeps changing the subject mid sentence and taking ages to circle back to his original point and the only ones who can follow the conversation are kon (used to bart), dick (used to wally), bart (used to tim), steph (also yaps), and babs (autism)

I was heavily inspired by this post, and I haven't stopped thinking of ghost Alfred running the Manor. I like the idea that Alfred died soon after Martha and Thomas (for dark reasons for me, but it could have been anything), but because someone needed to be there for Bruce (or some strange balancing act that a sentient Gotham played a role in), Alfred returned. However, while he tries to help Bruce, he's bound to the house as a ghost, rendering him incapable of personally going to find Bruce when he vanishes to train.

It's why Alfred's so tireless in helping the family, his last instruction from the Waynes was to protect their son. But he can never truly intercede, can't repair like a human might, he's just an echo trying to keep the family, the Manor, and the legacy together.

Addition to the language post and fic: Bruce is a paranoid bastard, so all of his kids learn Kryptonian fluently (for multiple reasons).

Dick: my dad and uncle are on their way and I feel sooo baaad for you, man

“Bruce Wayne is actually a really good father and all his children are just like that” is actually my favorite flavor of batfam

Bruce: “You are on thin ice, Jordan. This is clearly my little boy.”

listen, i have no idea what’s currently canon in dc comics and i really don’t care to BUT regardless of what continuity we’re in, i think jason todd might be the funniest character of all time. just the biggest hypocrite ever and i’m obsessed. like, so many people have pointed out how crazy it is to be pissed off at tim for replacing him as robin when he literally replaced dick while dick was still alive, but then to go and parade around bludhaven as a murderous nightwing while dick is (again) very much still alive and THEN form a team with dick’s ex girlfriend and best friend??? jason todd is THE definition of “replacement” or what the fuck ever he calls tim and i actually find it so funny. stay crazy girl <3