#this was stress relief because something shitty fucking happened and i was SUPPOSED to work on my final but i was too stressed so i drew
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pizza dreams <3
#rvb#red vs blue#dexter grif#grif#grif rvb#my art#i haven't drawn him in SOOOO long#i need to do it again#everytime i draw grif you just see my whole ass artstyle change LMFAO#like he is the measurement of my progress#i love him SO FUCKING MUCH!!!!!#this was stress relief because something shitty fucking happened and i was SUPPOSED to work on my final but i was too stressed so i drew#i feel better... he's so baby#i haven't drawn armor in so long so this was really fun#babyyyy#anyways its like 2 am and i have to get up early asf and then i have a busy day : (#sobs
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i know it’s crazy but he’s the one i want
matt sturniolo x reader
summary: part two of strike out. after months of being apart y/n realizes she wants nothing more then to be with matt, and matt realizes how much he fucked up. part one
warnings: angst to smut. oral (fem receiving), p in v, no protection, matchmakers nick and chris
they slammed the door on
my whole world
the one thing i wanted
your world felt like it was turned completely upside down the minute you locked your front door on matt.
you wanted to run after him. you wanted to forgive him for everything, but something in you was telling you to hold back, to stay strong. you weren’t even sure if you knew the matt that stood with you 10 minutes ago. after a month of no contact there’s so much that could’ve changed. you definitely had changed. one one thing that stayed the same though was that you still couldn’t go more the an hour without thinking of matthew sturniolo.
matt blew up your phone that whole night. it took everything in you not to drive over to his house. you were a mess and he didn’t need to see you like that. you were supposed to be strong. you were the one who told him to leave after all.
a few more days past before you got a couple texts and a call from chris. you hesitantly answered. you hated to admit it but you missed him and nick. you missed matt too but you weren’t ready to admit that one out loud yet. “hello?” you answered. there was a beat of silence before you heard a sigh of relief from the other line. “hey y/n it’s chris. listen, i know you haven’t wanted to talk to us, and i understand, but nick and i need your help.” he sounded so stressed that you couldn’t help but worry about the pair. he didn’t give you time to respond before he continued his thought. “i know you don’t want to be with matt anymore, but he hasn’t left his room in almost a week. nick and i completely understand why you did what you did. matt told us what happened.. but he locked himself in and we don’t know what to do.” you teared up at the thought of matt being alone. yeah he enjoyed being by himself sometimes, but never to this extent. you couldn’t help but feel guilt for the way things went down. at the end of the day you were both in the wrong, and you desperately wanted to make things right.
“please just come talk to him. come see him. we tried to wait as long as we could to call you but it’s time. we have your back but he’s still our brother, and we don’t want to see him like this. nick and i really miss you. matt misses you” you didn’t confirm or deny if you would really show up. you wanted to talk to him. as much as he hurt you he didn’t deserve to feel how you have felt for months. you knew how shitty it was. “i miss you guys too.” and with that you ended the call. you didn’t need to specify who you were referring too. chris knew that you meant all three of them, and he hoped that you would come help his brother.
no i’m not coming to my senses
i know it’s crazy but he’s
the one i want
it took you almost two hours to work up the courage to go to the triplets house. you got in and out of your car 3 different times before you convinced yourself to finally turn it on and start driving. the directions were muscle memory at this point. having spent the last two years driving the same streets at least once a day, you weren’t a stranger to the street signs and the traffic. although it was almost 1 in the morning you had no worries about if the boys were awake or not. they always were at this time.
you felt weird pulling into their driveway. a spot that was once reserved for you now felt like a curse. it felt like you’d end up with three slashed tires if you parked there so you opted for parking in the street two houses down. this way if you chickened out before you made it to the door they’d never know.
you didn’t though. you couldn’t because the minute you stepped foot onto their doorstep nick threw open the door. no words were exchanged between the two of you. he instantly pulled you into a hug. you both needed it after the month and a half you just had. “i’m so glad you’re here” all you could do is hold him tighter in response. tears filled your eyes as chris made his way down the front steps to you both. he took his turn pulling you into a hug as well. when you broke apart he ran a soothing hand up and down your arm and let you walk to the living room.
the three of you sat on the couch together and you pulled your legs up into you. single tears streamed down your face every once and a while as you waited for someone to talk. “he doesn’t know you’re here,” nick started. “we didn’t want to tell him and freak him out.” “oh so he’s not allowed to be freaked out so i have to be. got it” you regretted it as soon as you got the sentence out. “sorry. fuck i’m sorry guys. i really just- i don’t know what i’m doing here.” you ran a hand through your hair nervously.
“it’s okay y/n/n we get it. we really just think you guys should talk.” chris said patting your knee. “yeah, we don’t want to pressure you but we think it will help both of you get some closure. so you sit here. we’re going to go out for a little bit, give you some space. if you decide you want to leave then please do so, but we won’t be upset if you’re here when we get back.” they gave you soft smiles as they made their way out of the house leaving you with your thoughts.
once you got the tears to stop, you knew that if you didn’t get off the couch now you would never make it to matt’s room. you were hesitant to knock. you didn’t hear anything in the otherside of the door. you were almost hoping he was asleep so you could go home and forget this ever happened.
as you began to raise your hand the door slowly opened. matt’s head was hung low looking at his phone. your lips parted slightly in shock. he quickly looked up when he noticed someone was standing there. “i- sorr- i um- i have to go.” you barely got out. as you tried turning so you could walk in the other room. “y/n?” matt was in shock and confused. you were the last person he expected to see. he just wanted to run over and hug you, but he kept his restraint. you rushed over to the couch looking for your keys. “i’m sorry i shouldn’t have come. chris and nick called me and i was worried about you but i really shouldn’t be here.” when you got nervous you just talked fast. your mouth couldn’t keep up with all the thoughts running through your head.
matt hadn’t moved from his doorway. he was frozen watching you pace the living room. when he finally came to his senses he spoke up to stop you. “wait please stop. please. i want to talk to you.” matt rushed over to you and grabbed your hand trying to get you to look at him. he fully expected you to pull away, but his confidence slightly boosted when you didn’t.
“please.” he repeated. “please come sit with me.” his words were soft and nervous. you nodded looking up at him. he walked you over to his room hand in hand. matt gestured for you to sit in his bed as he sat across from you. you decided to talk first. you just wanted to know he was okay. “um. your brothers asked me to come talk to you. they said you hadn’t left your room, and i know i shouldn’t be, because of the way we ended things, but i was really worried about you, matt. i don’t want you to be upset. i know i was really mean and i’m so sorry-” “no. please do not apologize.” he reached over to hold your hands. “i deserved everything you said to me. you were right. please look at me, sweetheart. i have been a mess because i feel so shitty about the way i treated you. and i couldn’t look at chris and nick because they lost you too. i feel so fucking bad.”
“i know you do, baby. i want to forgive you i really do, but i can’t go back to the way things were.” both of you had tears running down your faces. you just wanted to hold each other and forget everything. “i promise i can be better. i promise that i can do better. you deserve better then i’ve ever treated you and i will work my ass off everyday to prove that to you.” you moved closer to matt as you held his face and used the pads of your thumbs to wipe his tears. you leaned your forehead against his as you sat there debating what to say. “i know you will, matt. i believe you.” “do you really?” he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. he wanted nothing more then to kiss you but he couldn’t push your boundaries. “i do, baby. i’m so in love with you. i don’t know how i’ve spent this long without you.” you said slightly leaning in to matt.
both of you flicked your eyes between your lips and back to each others eyes. “i love you too.” matt said. “can i please kiss you?” he asked nervously. you guys had kissed millions of times before but something was different this time. you guys felt closer. “please, matt. you can do anything to me.” and with that your lips instantly connected. you two melted into eachother as the kiss deepened. he quickly swiped his tongue against your bottom lip asking for entrance which you accepted. “let me show you how sorry i am?” “please.”
he was chaos, he was revelry
bedroom eyes look like a remedy
matt gently pushed your back down onto his mattress. he took his lips off of yours as he pecked his way down your neck. your hands traveled down his chest as you pulled on the edge of his shirt. he took notice to this and hastily removed the piec rod fabric. he sent you pleading eyes as you nodded at him to take yours off as well. he took your bra off with it and trailed his hand down your arm to intertwine your fingers. your unoccupied hand went to matt’s hair as he placced soft kissed to your boobs. he’s movements become desperate as he attached his lips to my nipple as he gently sucked.
soft pants came out of your mouth as you pushed matt’s head lower towards where you were craving him most. he tilted his head up at you with a smug grin. “yeah baby, is that what you want?” he smirked at you as he shimmied your legs out of your pants and threw them to the corner of his room. he traveled down lower as he started to spread your legs letting him lay between them. he breath met your clit and he turned his head to bite the inside of your thigh.
“tell me what you need, sweetheart” “you, matt. i need you to touch me.” you rushed out. you needed to be close to him. you just wanted to feel him. matt pulled your underwear to the side and ran a finger through your slit. his cold hands tips sent goose bumps through your body. you swallowed thickly as he sent one quick lick to your core. he looked at you for a reaction only to get a nod of encouragement from you.
matt hummed while he wrapped one hand around your thigh spreading you farther apart for him. he slowly leaned into you dipping is tongue deeper into your wet folds. matt could feel the blood rushing to his cock due to your small pants and moans. the tight grip on his hair only encouraged him to keep going. you let out a small scream as he slowly began to enter his fingers into you. “fuck matt just like that.” you said as his middle and ring fingers curled up hitting that spongy spot. matt hummed into your cunt as he violently licked your clit.
neither of you had touched yourselves or anyone else in over a month. the pent up frustration made things go a lot faster then either of you expected. matt began rutting his hips softly into his mattress trying to relieve the tension he was feeling. you clenched around his fingers signally your close orgasm. matt’s head came up as his fingers still thrusted into you. “that feel good, baby. you gonna cum for me. come on, sweetheart. cum for me.” matt didn’t let up as your moans got louder if anything it made him to go in with more force. your orgasm came fast and hard. matt continued sucking as you came down from your high. you panted as matt slowly pulled his fingers out of you.
you started to sit up you you could return the favor only to be pushed back down as matt met you in a kiss. “no baby. tonight’s about you. i just want to make you feel good. i want to show you how sorry i am.” you looked at him with puppy dog eyes. “you do make me feel good matt. just let me return the favor.” you were quickly cut off by the sound of matt’s pants being pulled down. he shock his head at you to deny your request and your hand found the waistband of his boxers as you began to pull his cock out.
he was hard and somehow looked bigger then you remembered. matt’s head fell forward when you started stroking him. his arm that he was using to hold himself up almost giving out at the sensation. you ran his cock through your folds wetting him from you arousal and his precum. he took control as he slid into you, giving you a second to adjust, and then bottoming out at the sign of your approval.
you both let out signs as matt started thrusting into you. he ran his hand up and down your side and placed long kisses on your neck. certain to leave at least one hickey. matt was fully immersed in you. “matt please don’t stop. faster..fuck.” matt had every intention on taking his time with you tonight, to really show you how he feels, but he couldn’t turn down the opportunity. “fuck baby.” matt said speeding up. “faster? you want me to fuck you faster hm? tell me how good i’m making you feel baby.” matt kept up his pace as your hands found his back. your nails scratched down his skin leaving red marks in their trail. you threw your head back in pleasure when matt began rubbing your clit in figure eight motions. your noises only got louder but you were so fucked out that matt laughed when you couldn’t form a sentence. “you got it baby. you’re doing to good for me.” matt’s hips slammed into you surely leaving bruises. “tell me how good i’m making you feel. use your words.”
with one hand on your clit and the other brushing hair off of your forehead, matt soon approached his first orgasm of the night. you gasped and tried to catch your breath to say coherent words. “shit- i- god you’re doing so good, mmh. you feel so good. don’t stop. gonna cum.” you quickly reached your second orgasm. “yeah, you gonna cum,” matt taunted as his motions became sloppy. “good girl, cum with me, y/n.”
both of your orgasms built rapidly and didn’t disappoint. your head flew back in pleasure as matt lowly groaned and let out a small whimper. he rode out both of your orgasms and you reached out to out your head in this chest as you became overstimulated. matt slowly pulled out and fell down beside you as he leaned for his shirt to clean you up. “i love you.” you said as you rolled over to place your head in his chest. “i love you most.” he replied giving a kiss to the top of your head.
thinking it can change the
beat of my heart when he touches me
and counteract the chemistry
and undo the destiny
matt and you layed in a comfortable silence as you held each other. no one could ruin this moment for you two. you saw the comments over the months that you had ruined matt or that you’re a whore and you didn’t deserve him. no one knew the real truth. matt and you were made for each other. you didn’t believe in soulmates until matt came around.
you were still in matt’s bed when nick and chris got home that night. sound asleep you two basked in the presence of eachother. matt’s two brothers saw his bedroom door slightly ajar, they made their way over to see what was going on.
with no comment they smiled at each other noticing your states. they were happy to have their favorite couple back.
you ain’t gotta pray for me
me and my wild boy
and all this wild joy
#nick sturniolo#matt sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo smut#sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo snaps#matt x reader#matt sturniolo
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Eddie saves Chrissy from Vecna
TW: Mentions of drug abuse
For @short-rain sent me it, and so I’m going to post the head canon. So it’s my version, but hopefully it makes you happy reading it? Anyways.
So, Chrissy does not die from Vecna. There is a reason why and it’s rather simple: Eddie saves her. This is both on accident and on purpose. So I want to say it’s talked about that Eddie’s biological dad has been in and out of prison. Assault, drunk driving, drug possession- the things that would lead to a very complicated life in the legal system. With this it would also play in hand with why Eddie has and knows people with access to drugs. Let’s not forget that he was going to sell Chrissy Ketamine, which if you’re not aware of it:
Ketamine is a medication primarily used for induction and maintenance of anesthesia. It induces dissociative anesthesia, a trance-like state providing pain relief, sedation, and amnesia.
Now that we understand what Ketamine is, we know that it’s powerful and it would leave Chrissy zonked the fuck out! So Eddie is both good guy, and not. The unfortunate misunderstood kid that was dealt a shitty hand in life. So onto the head canon!
So. Eddie saves Chrissy from being Vecna’d.
Eddie has quote unquote been a mediocre dealer through his 19-20 years of life. It is Hawkins. The city is small, everyone is judgmental and depressed, most people want to get blitzed out of their mind and not think for a few hours. So that is where he’s figuring Chrissy wants to be. He saw it in her eyes were they were in the woods. She was exhausted, she was stressed, she wanted to get out of her head. When she mentioned something strong than weed, he knew that he could get her hooked up with something. Equally he also knew that she would be safe with him while she’s out like a light! That was his train of thought though when he went searching for this. At the time he didn’t realize that Vecna had managed to get into Chrissy’s mind. So our boy Eddie, he’s searching. He wants to help.
He’s had a crush on Chrissy for YEARS. Now he gets to be her unconventional knight in shining armor, and they get to be high together. Intimate stoner thoughts, and he’s giddy in his sneakers for it. But he comes back to see her... spaced out. He’s seen something similar to this a few times in his life.
While Eddie’s dad is a piece of shit, he was still in and out of Eddie’s life. Those times always left their mark on Eddie. The one time he can remember is when his dad was holy shit high, and near blackout drunk. Eddie didn’t know what to do as a child while watching his father unable to function correctly. He was a grownup! Grownups are supposed to grownups and supposed to know what to do, and yet his dad is not doing that. Any time that this happened and his dad was in this state, Eddie would find something to play music with. Eddie would either use cassettes, record players, later on would be a guitar when his dad would be in this state. This would always calm Eddie’s dad down, and he’d usually collapse onto the couch and it’d buy Eddie time to call his uncle Wayne who would be there to help.
So when Eddie comes back from looking for something for Chrissy and sees her like this, he’s trying to figure out what to do when she won’t respond to him. She’s not high, he knows this. They haven’t even been able to smoke a bowl, or have an edible etc. He knows she’s sober, so why are her eyes rolled back in her head? Why isn’t she responding to him when he tries to get her to snap out of it? What the fuck is the girl he’s had a crush doing this? What. The. Absolute. Fuck!!!? He’s sort of panicking right then when she doesn’t snap out of it no matter how many times he snapped his fingers, clapped in front of her face, or shook her shoulders. If Wayne got home from work and saw her like this- he was fucking dead!
Eddie then tries to think over what he can do. Should he call an ambulance? No. No! Most certainly not! Okay so he can’t call the ambulance because he’d be immediately arrested, and the city would want to see him hang. Even if capital punishment wasn’t the thing in 1986; wouldn’t stop people like Jason from trying to hang him! Okay can’t do that. He doesn’t know her folks phone number, so can’t call them. Not like he would, they’d probably kill him. FUCK! Eddie is panicking, he’s trying to think fast, he’s trying to figure how to get her to snap out of it.
Wait... wait.... what helped his dad? WHY THE FUCK IS SHE FLOATING?!
I would think his reaction of going what the fuck is appropriate. I personally would go what the fuck. In his living room he has his ultimate crush, she is not responding to him, her eyes are rolled back, and now she is floating in the air. I would have tripped and fell on my ass as well. We are with you Eddie, we’d freak out as well.
Eddie is in a legitimate state of shock watching her hang suspended in the air. For a brief moment he feels like he’s a child again watching his dad unable to stand upright, unable to form coherent words, and he finds himself helpless and useless. But, what’s different from that first time to now is that he’s not a useless child anymore. There is desperate attempt to get back up to his feet and he starts to try to find something to get her attention. First it’s cranking the radio on to whatever country radio station Wayne has. Nope. Nothing. Chrissy is actually floating higher and that panic is now fear that something terrible is going to happen to her!
Country music isn’t helping, so he he turns it up louder hoping that will help to get her attention and snap her out of whatever is happening. It doesn’t. Okay, what about different radio station? Music! Music helps him to calm down, and helped to make his dad stop being unpredictable. He is fumbling with the dial switch on the radio until it lands on something, and he pauses before he’s frantically trying to find a different radio station.
And when she knows what
She wants from her time
And when she wakes up
And makes up her mind
God he hates that song, but in that moment it’s the best song in the world because he swore to God he saw her face twitch. He turns that volume up as loud as it can go, and he’s trying to remember the lyrics. He’s mumbling/half singing- mostly screaming those lyrics at her. There is a moment of real genuine disbelief when he sees her head shaking, and her face contorting to a focused expression. He’s praying that this works, has to!
Uptown girl
You know I can't afford to buy her pearls
But maybe someday when my ship comes in
She'll understand what kind of guy I've been
And then I'll win
He remembers those lyrics because his aunt used to sing them before she divorced Wayne. He screams those at Chrissy with all the absolute desperation that his vocal cords can endure. Suddenly... she’s falling from being the world’s most fucked up chandelier in his uncle’s trailer.
Eddie runs forward and partially catches her. They both land on the ground, he helps to dampen the harsh landing on old trampled carpet, and she’s breathing. She’s blinking and looking wildly around, and then looking at him. He’s looking at her face, pushing her hair away trying to make sure he’s not losing his mind and that she’s -back-. Eventually that immediate shock of realizing that she’s not going to be Vecna’d falls over her, and she breaks down, SOBBING into his chest. Eddie is still trying to figure out what happened, and he’s trying to figure out from having that ever happen again. He holds onto her, and silently vows to never let that happen to her, or anyone else.
#stranger things#stranger things head canon#eddie#eddie munson#chrissy#chrissy cunningham#eddissy#hellcheer#vecna#I do hope you like it!
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Pink Lace - Chapter 5
Characters: Baekhyun x Reader
Genre: College AU, stripper AU, fluff, smut, slow burn
Summary: Baekhyun, a philosophy professor with mysterious wealth, got himself completely fucked over a girl who can’t let him into her life.
Word count: 4k
Warnings: sex work, mentions of sexual assault, adult themes/situations, eventual smut
Tag list: @smolbeanmika @leave-me-in-the-summertime @totallynerdstuff @bbhmystar @nana-banana @kimyhappy @thegreatandi @geniusloey @deligxt @baekswifey @bbhyun506 @lovebuginlove @bellamendoza @baekyeonoreo @bobohumyonlyboo
Masterlist
After your conversation with Baekhyun Monday evening Tuesday was spent desperately trying to get Baekhyun off your mind, with little success. He’d asked you if you liked him like that, and you couldn’t tell him no. Hell, you knew in the back of your mind that the answer was definitely yes, you just couldn’t bring yourself to say it to his face.
As much as you did like him, the prospect of starting something with a customer who was also your professor was still terrifying. What if you two got together and people found out? Or what if things started to go south and you were still stuck with him as your teacher?
Despite your other schoolwork, and cleaning basically everything you possibly could, your mind just kept racing with every different possible scenario for if you did tell Baekhyun how you felt. And most of them were quite unpleasant. He could lose his job, you could make class absolute hell for yourself if things didn’t go well, and so on. Different possibilities played themselves out in your mind over and over, and there was little you could do to stop it.
However the thoughts that stuck with you the most were the ones where things didn’t end badly. Thoughts of his arms around you, his comforting words whispered in your ear, and the gentle touches of his pretty hands on your skin. As much as you fought it, the attraction was there.
The way your mind bounced between thoughts was stressful to no end. Every time you tried reasoning with yourself, you just thought about how good he made you feel when you were alone together.
Baekhyun was always so willing to be vulnerable with you, it made you feel appreciated. He was so open about his feelings, and honest with his intentions towards you that it made it difficult to push him away. You wanted to be able to show him the same kind of vulnerability as well, but the possibilities if you did still frightened you too much.
You knew you wouldn’t be able to go on like this forever, sooner or later you had to figure out what to say to him.
Your essay was plaguing you as well. You’d tried to start it on several occasions, but Plato’s writing was so old timey and incomprehensible you didn’t even know where to start. It also didn’t help that every time you tried to start writing, all you could think about was what Baekhyun would think. The idea of turning a shitty paper in for him to read and grade made you feel sick. You knew you were shooting yourself in the foot putting it off but you just couldn’t bring yourself to start it either.
“You’ve cleaned everything in the apartment. Twice. What’s with you today y/n?” Mia asked as she walked out of her bedroom and into the common area, finding you once again wiping down all the surfaces in the kitchen.
“I’m trying to distract myself, was that not obvious?” You knew what was coming next.
“Baekhyun still on your mind?”
Yes. He was. In every possible way, good and bad, and you couldn’t stop it.
“I think I do like him.”
“See! I knew it!” You rolled your eyes at her. “Anything exciting happen yesterday? Did you decide to keep the money?” She asked, sitting down at the dining room table, you sitting down across from her.
“I’m keeping it, I tried giving it back but he told me some stuff and turns out he doesn’t need it after all.”
“So he IS rich?!”
“Yeah... although not from anything cool or fun. His rich parents died recently.”
“Oh shit, that sucks. That must’ve been an awkward conversation.”
“Not really. I don’t know why but talking to him is getting easier and easier. I even stayed after he told me I could go.”
“You really must like him then, damn. Can’t blame you though, he is hot.” You shot her an angry look but you both knew she was right. “So what are you gonna do about it?”
“Do about what?”
“You liking him. He obviously likes you a lot too, so what happens next?”
“Nothing. He’s my professor.”
The look she shot you next said something reminiscent of ‘are you fucking serious’.
“Oh come on y/n this guy is hot, and rich, and super into you. Even if he is your professor you can’t pass up a fling at least.”
“And when it ends? What then? Or if someone finds out he’s fucking a student? He’d lose his job and it would be my fault.”
“No, it would be his fault, and he’s rich anyway so it wouldn’t even matter.”
You thought back to your last conversation with Baekhyun, and what he said about his parents. Even if he did choose to risk it for you, the thought of him losing a job that meant so much to him still didn’t sit right with you.
“It would matter to me. Either way I don’t want other students shit talking me either. If my classmates found out there was something between us it would be hell.”
“All I'm hearing right now, is that you just need to not get caught. The semester is only 16 weeks, as long as nothing gets out while you’re in his class nothing too bad can happen. You just have to be careful.”
You thought about it, and she wasn’t exactly wrong. As long as nothing got out while you were his student, nothing too bad could happen.
“He won’t lose his job if people find out we’re together later on when I’m not his student anymore, right?”
Mia shrugged. “He doesn’t hold any power over you anymore then so I don’t see why he’d get in any trouble. People might just think it’s weird since he’s older. How old is he anyway? He looks young.”
“I’m not exactly sure... Somewhere around 30? Late 20s maybe? I should ask him.”
“Yeah you should. I still have homework I need to do, I should get back to that.” She said before getting herself a glass of water and retreating back to her bedroom.
~
The next morning you were exhausted. You hadn’t gotten much sleep because of everything that was going through your head. You wanted Baekhyun, and he wanted you, but there was still too much risk involved. But part of you kept thinking about what Mia had said as well. Could a fling really be that bad?
You were nervous to see him too. You still hadn’t given him an answer to his question, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to dodge it forever. Lying seemed like a decent option, but you knew with how honest and vulnerable Baekhyun always was with you, you wouldn’t be able to bring yourself to lie to him. Especially when you did want something more with him, you were just scared.
As philosophy class drew closer and closer you felt uneasy. You felt bad seeing Baekhyun again without giving him an answer, but you didn’t know how or what to say. You only hoped he wouldn’t press you for it.
Class went by and you didn’t speak to him. He didn’t keep you after either, which was a relief. You had been hoping he’d at least go over some stuff that would help you on your essay, but you had no such luck, and you needed it done by midnight if you wanted any credit.
When you got home you cursed yourself for procrastinating so much, but you had other homework too and you knew you’d be able to focus on that better, so you started it first.
Eventually your mind got sucked into your physics assignment, and you forgot about Baekhyun and the essay, too focused on the task at hand.
By the time you were done with your other assignments it was 8pm. Four hours until you had to submit your essay. One hour went by just reading and rereading the text you were supposed to write about. Another was wasted on an intro paragraph you kept deleting, because you still couldn’t understand the text. When 10pm hit, and you started to panic.
You realized that you weren’t going to be able to do it. Your mind was now in freak out mode and you couldn’t concentrate anyway. Either the paper wasn’t getting turned in at all, or you needed to do something fast. In any other class you would’ve BS-ed your way through it to turn at least something in, but you just couldn’t do that knowing Baekhyun was going to read it. You weren’t going to be able to submit it that night, but you needed to at least contact him and explain so he wouldn’t think you were stupid.
By 10:30 you found yourself scrolling through your contacts, staring at his name. You’d thought about emailing him, but he probably wouldn’t see until morning and you didn’t have that much time.
In hindsight you probably would’ve been fine to just send an email and try to get an extension, but the combination of anxiety over your grade and wanting to talk to him had his name in your phone looking better and better.
So you called.
Your nerves were on fire as you waited for him to hopefully pick up. Was this stupid? Would he even answer? Worst of all, what if he was disappointed in you for not being able to do the assignment?
After a few rings, he picked up. “Hello?”
“Hi Baekhyun, it’s y/n.”
“Y/n? Are you alright what’s going on?” You could hear the concern in his voice even over the phone, and you remembered why he gave you his number in the first place.
“I- I can’t do the essay.” You felt your voice shake, before unloading all your grievances in one breath “I read the thing a million times and I still have no idea what it’s about and I put it off until tonight cause it was making me so anxious but I still can’t focus and now it’s too late and I don’t know what to do and I’m freaking out.”
You heard him sigh. “Slow down, It’s okay, I know it’s a difficult assignment. Have you at least started?”
“No..” You felt tears swelling in your eyes, threatening to spill and you’re sure he can hear it in your voice even over the phone. “Can I just skip this one? I tried to start it so many times but I don’t know how to analyze something I can’t even understand.” You choked out.
“Y/n...” You could tell he was thinking of what to do. He probably shouldn’t give you special treatment, and you knew that but right now you hoped he would just give in. Unfortunately you had no such luck. “I’m sorry but I can’t let you just not do it. It would make it too obvious that I’m treating you differently than other students.”
“Then can you at least help me? Or give me more time? Please?” You begged.
“I’m still in my office. I can help you if you meet me here.”
You felt your palms get sweaty and your heart beat faster at the idea of going to his office again after what had happened last time, especially this late at night and in such a fragile state.
“O-okay. I’ll be there in 10. Bye.” You said, hanging up before he could respond.
Quickly you got on some shoes and drove yourself to the building his office was located in. Last time you’d been in there he’d asked you about your feelings for him, and now you had to go back. You told yourself to just focus on getting the essay done, but the thought still hung around in the back of your mind as you walked down the hall towards Baekhyun’s office. You felt jittery and embarrassed, but you needed to do this for your grade.
After taking a few deep breaths to ready yourself, you knocked on the door, and heard a muffled “Come in” from the other side, so you let yourself in. Baekhyun was sitting at his desk, which was covered in papers you assumed he’d been grading. Instead of the nicer clothes he would usually wear during lecture, he was just wearing a black t shirt and sweats now.
“You know you scared the shit out of me when you called. I thought you were in danger or something.” He said to you as you sat down in front of him. “I really didn’t think you’d call me over school work.”
“I’m sorry..”
“It’s okay! I’m not mad or anything, just surprised. What part of the text are you having trouble with?”
“All of it...” You felt your lip starting to quiver. “I’m sorry I know this sounds so stupid and you probably think I’m just trying to take advantage of how you like me but I promise it’s not like that.” You said, looking down and fidgeting with your hands, trying to hide the frustration on your face.
Baekhyun crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, smiling. “I never said I thought that. I told you it’s not an easy assignment, it’s ok if you’re having trouble. Plato can be difficult especially for people who aren’t used to reading things that old.”
“I should’ve at least started earlier...”
“Probably, but it’s too late to dwell on that now. Let’s just try to go over the reading together, yeah?” You nodded.
He moved his chair to your side of the desk before opening your textbook to the reading for the essay.
“So the first thing that makes The Ring of Gyges so confusing is that you don’t really know who’s talking. Basically it’s a conversation between Plato and his brother Glaucon where they’re discussing justice, and it’s actually Glaucon speaking for most of it, not Plato.”
You were listening to what he was saying of course, but you were still distracted by the proximity. Baekhyun was sitting right next to you now, arms almost touching. The only other time the two of you got that close was at the club. And you did not need to be thinking about that while he was explaining your assignment to you.
“Are you following me so far?”
Your eyes immediately shot up from the book to meet his, and you quickly nodded. Having him look you in the eyes again like that made your face feel hot.
“Glaucon argues that people only peruse justice for the benefits of it, and not because they actually want to be good people. He uses the example of a ring that grants it’s user invisibility, therefore allowing them to do unjust things like steal without being caught. He tells Plato a story about a man who finds such a ring and uses it do overthrow the king.”
You groaned. “It still doesn’t make sense though, what does some story about a stupid ring have to do with justice?”
“Well, if you were given the ability to steal and deceive people for your own benefit, without ever having to worry about getting caught, wouldn’t you do it too?” You stayed silent. “Basically, what you need to understand is what Glaucon is arguing. He’s saying that doing good deeds isn’t a part of human nature, and everyone would behave unjustly if they knew they would never get caught. Therefore, justice is something people pursue not out of want, but out of fear of the consequences if they don’t.”
All you could do was stare at him. It was infuriating how attractive he sounded while explaining it to you.
“Do you have a bit of a better idea what to write about now? Remember it’s only two pages, so don’t stress too much.”
You snapped yourself out of your thoughts. “Yeah, it makes a bit more sense now... do I still need to finish it tonight or?”
“Friday. Just email it to me by midnight on Friday and I won’t count it late.” He said, smiling again.
“Thank you for doing this, I’m sorry it was so late and everything.”
Baekhyun just chucked, “You know if it’s you I don’t mind. You could keep me here all night with questions and I wouldn’t stop you. But you understand now, right?”
The way he was smiling at you now along with the closeness was making you slightly dizzy.
“I think so, Glaucon is basically saying that injustice is better than justice then right? Because everyone would do unjust things if they’d always get away with it.”
Baekhyun nodded.
“So according to him the best way to live life would be to do things you know are wrong, but without being caught.”
“Exactly. See, I knew you were smart, y/n.” A smirk had made its way onto his face as he spoke.
You couldn’t help connecting what he was saying to what you were feeling inside towards him. You wanted him, and you knew it was wrong, but how could you deny it to yourself when it felt so right?
“Baekhyun...” You asked, hesitantly. “D-do you think it’s okay to do things you know are wrong, as long as no one finds out?”
“I think it depends what you’re talking about.” He answered, now looking you in the eyes again with intensity. “I would never kill anyone, for any reason, even if I knew I could get away with it. But, if I really wanted something, I think I would take it.”
You were hyperaware of how his eyes were now scanning your face, lingering on your lips. “Take what?”
A hand made contact with your thigh, slowly moving up until he stopped, right below the hem of your shorts. His thumb drew soft circles on the sensitive inner flesh, giving you goosebumps.
“I know you feel it too, you want this, don’t you?” Baekhyun asked, now moving a stand of hair out of your face. He let his hand rest on the back of your neck, keeping you facing towards him.
Your heart felt like it was about to short circuit from how fast it was beating. Your palms were sweaty and you could feel yourself shaking slightly. The way his thumb stroked your neck beneath your ear made you shiver, and you knew he saw. All you could do was stare back at him, dumbfounded. Any words you tried to get out stuck in your throat. He was right, you did want it. Now more than ever.
“Tell me you don’t want this. Tell me you don’t want me to kiss you right now. I dare you.” He said, running his thumb over your bottom lip, eyes fixed on how it trembled beneath his touch. He was slowly moving your face closer his, but you didn’t stop him.
Your silence told Baekhyun all he needed to know, and his lips quickly found yours. Immediately you let yourself melt into the kiss. You felt your whole body buzzing, finally getting what it had wanted for so long. His lips felt unbelievably soft against yours, moving in a slow rhythm as his other hand came up from your thigh to cup your face as well. You wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, letting it become messier and more desperate.
“I like you” you pulled away just enough to whisper “so fucking much.” You felt him grin into the kiss as your lips met again.
He tasted like strawberries, and you felt high as your lips kept crashing together with more and more need. Your whole body felt like it was set on fire and simultaneously dunked in an ice bath, every nerve vibrating with want.
When Baekhyun pulled your bottom lip gently between his teeth you let out a soft moan, and he started to lose it. He broke the kiss, standing up and pulling with him, before backing you up against the wall, a hand on either side of your head.
“Sweetheart, don’t push me” He breathed, and started peppering kisses along the side of your neck, from under your ear down to your collarbone, sucking and biting on the way.
Trapped between him and the wall, you felt weak and breathless. Your brain was in overdrive and you gasped at his ministrations, hands burying themselves in his soft hair. His hands had traveled down to your waist, holding you against him tightly.
“Baekhyun” You breathed out, rubbing your thighs together as he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot.
“Fuck, y/n. Don’t say that.” He forced the words out through gritted teeth.
His body pressed you into the wall, and your arms wrapped around him pulling him into you even tighter. He was completely consuming your senses and your knees felt wobbly from the intensity of it all. He was already smothering your entire front, but you tried to pull him even closer regardless.
You felt something hard press into your hip as his mouth covered yours again, and this time you shamelessly moaned his name into his open mouth.
Much to your disappointment, Baekhyun immediately detatched himself from you, backing up until his back hit the opposite wall of the office. You could see how turned on he was by the outline of his dick through his pants and the pained look in his face.
“Fucking christ...” He said, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes. You just watched from the other side of the room. He kept his eyes closed and you observed as his jaw clenched and unclenched before you heard him continue. “You have to go. If you don’t I’m gonna fuck you on my desk and I won’t be gentle.”
Your throat went dry at his crude words, but you couldn’t deny your own arousal. You walked back towards him, reaching out to touch his chest which was now rising and falling rapidly, but he grabbed you before you could make contact. His grip on your wrist was so tight it was almost painful. His knuckles were white, and you could see a drop of sweat trickle down the side of his face.
His eyes bore into your own with a stare that warned you not to try anything more.
“I’m sorry y/n but you have to leave. Not tonight. Not like this.” With his free hand he grabbed your belongings off his desk, shoving them into your arms.
Still speechless, he opened the door and pulled you outside before going back in and closing the door behind him. You stood and stared at his office door for a minute, recollecting yourself and processing what the hell had just happened.
Eventually your shaky legs began making their way down the hallway, back towards your car. You were pretty sure a janitor saw you as you turned the corner just down the hall from Baekhyun’s office. You kept your head down, trying to hide your face best you could while hurrying past.
Once you were sitting in your car, you slumped into the seat, mind still in a daze after what happened in Baekhyun’s office. You waited for your breathing and heartrate to slow down before you drove away.
Baekhyun left shorty after you as well, unable to concentrate on anything but the sound of you moaning his name. He felt terrible for throwing you out of his office but he’d meant what he said. He didn’t want his first time to have you to be in his office, purely fueled by pent up lust. He wanted to give you more than that.
More than anything, he just couldn’t believe he’d gotten what he’d wanted for the entire summer. It didn’t seem possible, but now it had happened. And you actually kissed him back. It felt too good to be true. He felt himself once again struggling to sleep, but this time because he was too excited. This time, he didn’t have to keep himself up wondering, he knew he had you. He just couldn’t wait to see what would happed now.
You on the other hand couldn’t stop worrying about that exact thing as you stared at the ceiling above your bed. What would happen now? The thoughts weren’t fearful anymore, there was just too many of them to shut your mind down enough to sleep.
You’d finally allowed yourself to give into him, and there was no more turning back.
Next Chapter
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First Name Basis
Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou X Y/N
Summary: After becoming friends w/ benefits with Y/N, Bakugou finds himself thinking about her more and more. The problem is they agreed that they couldn’t catch feelings for one another. If Y/N finds out, he’s totally screwed.
Word Count: 2.8k
Rated M for Mature; intended for 18+ audiences.
Part One
A/N: Requests at the moment are open. Please feel free to message me with your requests!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Maybe the first sign was that he found himself infuriated when you called him Bakugou.
It felt.. impersonal, as though the two of you didn’t have some kind of sexual favor arrangement. As though you hadn’t touched every inch of one another behind closed doors. Like you weren’t spending hours of alone time with each other for the past few weeks.
“Bakugou, do you have a pencil I could borrow?” You were whispering in a nearly silent classroom as everyone worked on an essay for finals, but he winced as though you had caught him off guard by screaming at him.
At first, he wasn’t going to say anything. One of his spare pencils already extended out to your grabbing hand. His brow furrowed with a small pout etched into his frown, and his thoughts made his grip on the pencil linger. With a small tug, you noticed the seeming reluctance he had to give you his pencil.
“I’ll give it back to you after class. Rela-”
“Call me Katsuki.” He cut you off, finally retracting his hand after his statement. For a moment you’re too surprised to continue your classwork, the request coming out of the blue. You weren’t sure how to respond so you just nodded.
For the rest of the class, you struggled to finish your essay, wondering if you should’ve responded properly or not. By the time lunch came around, you had concluded that even if you wanted to, you were too choked up with surprise to call him Katsuki at that moment.
Plus, you hadn’t called him by his first name before.
In fact, you were pretty sure the only time you heard anyone call him by his first name was in the first year of UA when Aizawa bothered with attendance, and the few times you saw his mom with him in public.
A few other classmates had nicknames for him, but none ever used his first name. And as far as you knew, he hadn’t requested for them to.
- - - - -
You sat down at lunch, a few hours after Bakugou’s sudden request, waiting for the rest of the squad to join you. Unsurprisingly, he was sitting next to you moments later, just like he was every lunch, with a bento box that was definitely packed by his mom. You could tell because of the notes she left.
‘Don’t be a brat!’ was written today on a sticky note that rested on top of his food. A small heart was drawn in the corner, causing your lips to curl with a smile.
“Aww, Katsuki, your mom’s always so sweet!”
You meant it. The fact that she always took the time to write out a special note for his lunch showed how much love she had for her only child. It made you a little jealous, with the lunch you had prepared on your own last night in front of you. Although, it wasn’t your parents fault when they had such busy work schedules.
A scowl paints itself on his lips, even though Bakugou felt like smiling and laughing with a small spark of joy.
“Shut up!” He yelled curtly. While he was embarrassed at the fact that his old hag had managed to slip another note into his bento, it was hard to focus on that when there was a more important fact that happened.
You actually said his name. His first name.
His heart felt like exploding and he couldn’t thank Kaminari enough for coming to sit at the table to distract you after you giggled at his small outburst. It would probably be unfavorable for you to notice the effect you had on him. After all, he knew the rules of your arrangement. He couldn’t fall in love with you and you couldn’t fall in love with him. Otherwise, the late night stress relief sessions would come to an end.
And you’d probably never talk to him again.
That’s what scared him more than anything. Nothing was worth giving up the precious time he got to spend with you.
Bakugou covers his mouth with his palm and leans his elbow on the table, inwardly cringing at his own thoughts. God, what was wrong with him? This shit was beyond sappy and he didn’t do sappy. At least that was what he believed at first. So he chose to attempt ignoring the extremely distracting thoughts he had about his feelings for the moment.
And it kinda worked…
- - - - -
For a while, he was able to push aside his personal feelings as he found himself focusing on integrating into the world of being a pro hero. Luckily, Fat Gum kept him busy with missions he could do solo. Occasionally, he worked with Kirishima since they had what Fat Gum called “Unattested Camaraderie”, meaning they had more trust in each other than any duo he’d seen; And that status of friendship with Bakugou and Kirishima wasn’t going to change any time soon.
Since you and him left UA, you didn’t see each other as often.
After about two months of only getting to see you once a week, Bakugou was uneasy. Perhaps a tad bit on edge. Somehow, you had managed to creep back into his mind, and no matter what he tried, it was impossible not to miss you.
A harsh sigh escapes him as he settles into the break room on the sixth floor of Fat Gum’s Agency.
“Whoa Bakubro, you okay?” Kirishima, who was across the room getting himself water, looked at his friend with a deep concern. Even though over the years he had definitely mellowed out a bit, Bakugou was always such a ball of energy, explosive or otherwise; so seeing him look so exhausted was unusual for Kiri.
He almost looked defeated, with the way his shoulders slouched and how his hands held his head over his lap.
Bakugou doesn’t even glance his way. “ ‘M fine, Kiri.” He waves his right hand dismissively. “Just tired.” He seems to punctuate his sentence by laying back on the couch, eyes closed with supposed drowsiness.
Kirishima gives him a skeptical look, but seems to take his word for it.
“Alright.” The redhead takes a deep drink of water from a paper cup. “Well, if you’re up to it later tonight, Kaminari invited everyone to go to this new club downtown. It should be fun.” He can see the protest bubbling in Bakugou’s chest before he adds, “Y/N is gonna be there.”
From his seat on the couch, Bakugou opens his eyes to glare blunt red daggers in Kirishima’s direction.
He can see the sly look his friend gives him, and sighs again, combing calloused fingers through his spiky hair, which has become tangled and dirty from a long day of hero work. “Fine.” The blonde speaks through gritted teeth.
Curse Kiri and his damn stalking. Why did he always have to be so involved in Bakugou’s personal life?
Of course, Kiri wasn’t intentionally stalking. You just get to know people and their private lives a lot better when you’re roommates with them. “Be ready by 6:30. Kaminari said to be there at 7.”
“I’ll be ready whenever I damn feel like being ready, Shitty Hair.” Bakugou grumbled before getting up to finally leave the agency for the day.
- - - - -
Bakugou was ready to leave at 6:00 and anxiously tapped his foot until a neon sign reading ‘Boulevard 3’ hung just above Kirishima’s crimson sports car. In which case, he was forced to stop tapping his foot as he got out of the vehicle and entered the club. Unsurprisingly, he and his redheaded friend were let in immediately by the bouncer; past bunches of people who were packed in a line that would probably never make it inside.
That was just one of the perks of being a pro hero.
As Bakugou walks in, he can see the many other pros and sidekicks who have been let in for opening night.
The music thumped in a way that made him feel like a second heartbeat, and the air was already humid from fog machines placed below the DJs platform. Rather than joining in with the sultrous dancing, Bakugou found his way to the bar.
He thought it would be much easier to spot you from here.
And he was right.
There you were, on the edge of the dance floor. A skin tight black dress clinging to your curves perfectly as you danced.
Bakugou had no idea how long he was watching you for, but he couldn’t help it. You looked so carefree and happy. Like someone who had nothing to worry about except how much fun you had with your friends.
At first, you danced with Mina. Spinning and waltzing around as silent giggles spilled from your mouth. The longer the night went on, the more people seemed to join you on the dance floor. And eventually you found yourself between Mina Ashido and Denki Kaminari, a sheen of sweat layering your body as everyone swayed to the music.
Your hands gently held Mina’s hips, and every once in a while you would lean to put your lips to her pink neck as you told her something; and she would laugh in response, pressing against you as the music pumped through her veins. Behind you, Denki grinded against the plush feeling of your ass as his hands wandered to whatever places of your body he could touch. You didn’t mind, given the setting, plus the fact that you knew him well enough to know he would back off if you wanted him to.
But in the moment, you were enjoying how it felt to dance between two of your friends. You were thriving off of it because the music made you feel electric and alive.
And Bakugou hated it.
He hated watching you dance with Dunce Face and Raccoon Eyes. He hated the way Kaminari’s hands groped so greedily at your body as he shamelessly ground himself against you. He hated how closely you were bringing Mina to you. And most of all, he hated the fact that he wasn’t dancing with you.
In a jealous flash, Bakugou finds himself pulling you by the wrist out of the club and into a much more private alleyway.
You look at him with anger in a way he had never seen you before.
“What the hell! What’s wrong with you?!” You yell at him and he almost flinches at your words. “You can’t just pull me away to fuck when I’m having fun with friends!”
Bakugou looks at the ground, contemplating why he had done that without a plan and, meaning to apologize, he responds, “Just friends, huh?” His normally loud voice comes out in a mumble. “Dunce Face seemed to have a little more than ‘just friends’ on his mind.”
For a moment, you feel like slapping him.
“Are you kidding me?” You settle for just glaring at him as you wait for an actual explanation. After a few seconds, your expression softens. Why does he look so.. Sad?
“... I’m sorry.” The apology coming from his mouth makes your jaw drop.
“Wh-”
“I was jealous.” Bakugou finally looks up at you to see that your fury has been replaced with confusion. “Don’t fucking make me repeat that. You heard me, alright?” His red eyes find their way back to the ground again.
God, he messed up. He messed up bad.
But at this point if he didn’t confess, he was gonna explode.
“I think..” He pauses and winces before saying what he had to. “I think I’m in love with you, Y/N.” He expects you to punch him and tell him ‘it’s over’, that you would never speak to him again. Instead, you stand and stare at him, an unreadable expression on your face. So he continues, ready to outline the terms of your agreement for himself.
“I know, I know. That means what we’ve had is over.. My dumbass went and fell in-”
You cut him off by standing in front of him, your eyes on his as you utter the words, “Kiss me, Katsuki.”
It takes a second for his brain to recircuit and process your words. Before you know it, his lips are on yours, fervently kissing you with a passion you haven’t felt from him. It makes you melt into his hands as they guide themselves around your hips and waist to push you against a concrete wall.
His knee finds its way in between your legs so that his well muscled thigh can rub against you.
He pulls away from your lips and kisses roughly along your jawline, nibbling gently until he gets to that one sweet spot on your neck that makes you moan so angelically for him.
“Mm, Katsuki..” You moan his name breathlessly as he abuses your neck with his teeth, leaving marks that would no doubt take days to disappear. You can’t help but grind against his thigh for relief that your core so desperately needs.
Your moans echo softly off the walls of the alleyway the two of you occupy, but neither of you could care less about the setting.
Not when all either of you wants is the carnal desire coming from the other.
One of your hands snakes down to rub Bakugou’s caged erection, eliciting a sinful groan from his lips. “Fuck-” Breathing heavily against you, his shuddering breaths cause goosebumps to crawl across your skin.
Your fingers rush to undo his pants so that your hand can reach more efficiently into his boxers.
As your bare hand touches his cock, he bucks his leg against you, giving delicious pressure to your clit and making you pause to enjoy the feeling.
“I need you, Y/N.” He punctuates his sentence with a soft kiss to the junction between your neck and collarbone. Agreeing with him, you nod, unbuttoning his dress shirt faster than you ever thought you could, just so you can touch his skin.
He slips your panties to your feet, letting one of your feet slip out before hoisting you up against the wall.
Your dress rides up as you wrap your legs around his waist, settling your dripping pussy against the head of his cock with a small whimper.
Wasting no time, Bakugou bucks into you, stretching you in that glorious way he always does. Except it feels much better to feel his cock without a condom smoothing the surface. You cry out, grasping his bare shoulders tightly as he finds a relentless pace for you.
You moan his name, pulling him into a kiss while you’re sent into blissful pleasure.
“I love you-.. too- Katsuki.”
The confession makes his cock throb, the warm walls of your pussy enveloping him in a way that makes him curse. “Shit- I’m gonna cum.”
You nod the best you can, whimpering a small, “Me too.”
“Cum with me, baby.” He prompts, and moments later your walls flutter around him tightly while you moan in ecstacy.
“Fuck!”
Bakugou grunts, his cock twitching in your warm hole. You can feel a hot liquid fill you in spurts and can’t help the small whine of pleasure that leaves you as his cum covers your sensitive walls.
Both of you still pant heavily when Bakugou places you on your shaky legs. He slips himself back into his pants and you just get done with adjusting your own clothing when you hear a loud “OH!”
Turning to the end of the alleyway with surprise, both you and Bakugou redden when you see Kirishima standing at the end. His sharp-toothed grin gives away that he knew exactly what had just gone down. You flatten your hair abashedly as Bakugou berates his roommate.
“Oi! What the fuck, Shitty Hair!”
He stomps to the redhead angrily, probably intending to push him back into the club, when Kirishima reaches into his pocket to grab something.
Before Bakugou can reach him, he throws car keys at him.
“Take my car, Bakubro. I’ll catch a ride home from Mina or something.” Bakugou grabs the keys, which fell unceremoniously to the floor, and when he looks up, Kirishima is already gone.
“Damn Shitty Hair..” He grumbles as he walks to you, although he seems to fall back into a favorable mood with you closer to him. “Let’s get you home.”
You smile, unconsciously gnawing your bottom lip, which was already swollen from Bakugou’s own teeth. “I could always spend the night at your place..” Nonchalantly, you readjust the collar of his shirt before buttoning the bottom of it.
Your eyes meet his and you lean in as he smiles in an uncharacteristically soft way.
“It wouldn’t be bizarre for a girlfriend to spend the night with her boyfriend now would it?” For a moment, Bakugou just appreciates the fact that you called yourself his girlfriend. Then he appreciated the way you look after you’d been fucked.
The way your cheeks flushed. The way the hickeys on your neck started to become purple. The swollen look of your lips after kissing so intensely.
But most of all, he appreciated the way your eyes seemed to light up when you looked at him now. It was strange that he never noticed before.
“No. No, it wouldn’t be.” He answered before giving you a gentle kiss.
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Dive| Part 10 | jjk
<Masterlist>
Pairings: Jungkook x y/n, Yoongi x oc
Word Count: 4.6k
Series Description: Camping with your ex, sounds horrible right? The camping trip was planned and payed for long before y/n’s shitty boyfriend broke up with her. Her best friend Abby, Yoongi, Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook are there to make sure she has an amazing time. However, sharing a tent with a smoke show like Jungkook is bound to lead to some complications.
Warnings: language, *this chapter mentions mentally abusive actions* *Very clingy/Jungkook and oc*, mentions of sex. For real... seriously CLINGY.
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They were attempting to be quiet but, their hushed tones were far from hushed. You’re awake now, eyes still closed as you process your current surroundings. You focus on the conversation that is seemingly between Jungkook, his cousin, and what you assume to be his aunt. She thanks him a countless amount of times and he tells her that it was no problem an equal amount of times. A hint of annoyance in his tone, but she clearly didn’t detect it at all. Then his cousin says something that you can barely make out, whispering being something she clearly comprehended; unlike her mother and Jungkook.
“We’re supposed to talk today, ill let you know what happens…” His voice veers off as if he suddenly became nervous.
“She cares about you Kook, I can tell. You care about her too, right?” she mumbles, no longer trying to whisper.
“A lot,” Is all you hear him respond with. His cousin giggles and tells him one final time not to stress and that everything will work out. She thanks him for the umpteenth time and they finally leave.
You wonder what time it is, laying there fully coherent but for some reason scared to open your eyes. After laying there for awhile and playing out every possible outcome, you decide to ‘wake up.’ Pulling yourself up into the sitting position, your pupils adjusting to the small amount of sunlight coming in from the windows.
“Good morning,” His voice is like honey, as he lifts his coffee cup to his lips. “Do you want some coffee?”
A soft smile and a nod have him gathering a cup and pouring the liquid gold into it. After telling him that you’ll take it black, he walks it over to where you are on the couch. You take it into your cold hands, sighing after taking a drink. Holy shit you were hungover.
You sit in silence long enough to wonder why it suddenly felt odd. You had so many things you wanted to say but couldn’t formulate the proper way to bring it up.
“Thanks for letting me stay the night,” you murmur, his large doe eyes peak up from his mug.
“Of course,” He answers, his face freezes when he realizes he doesn’t know what to say either. Or maybe, like you, how to say it.
Things go quiet again, you hear the birds chirping outside and the slow morning flow of traffic. You adjust yourself so that you’re facing him directly, your legs crisscrossed beneath you. His hair was fluffy, tame, but fluffy. The area around his eyes is slightly swollen and you wonder if he got any sleep last night. Mindlessly you set your mug down on the coffee table and you start moving across the couch to where he is. You still don’t know what or how to express what you need to but maybe you don’t need words. His eyes flick to yours, at first, he looks panicked then it quickly changed to relief. A smile pulling at his lips as he leans forward to set his mug next to yours. With his hands free, he sits back as you straddle his sweatpants clad lap. You take a deep breath, drinking in his morning beauty as his hands find their way underneath his shirt that clung to your body, resting on your hips just above the waist band.
When your eyes meet his, you forget why you worried at all. A wave of complacency rushing through your veins. With him you felt safe, with him you had no worries. Your fingers delicately push their way through his fluffy locks, letting your nails lightly scratch his scalp. His eyes close instinctively as he exhales deeply. As his head falls backward, your eyes are drawn to the center column of his throat. Fantasizing about how good it would look decorated in your love bites.
Before you can act on it, his words are pulling you from your heed.
“I’m really sorry that I made you upset last night, I should have told you what was going on so you didn’t worry,” his eyes meet yours and they’re filled with regret.
“Well I appreciate your apology, but I’m the one who should be apologizing. I guess I was just… confused, it hurt seeing you with someone else obviously.” you explain softly your fingers steadily raking through his hair.
He hums at your words, his fingers delicately brushing along your spine. Fire spreading from the tips of his fingers through your cold body. His brows shoot up, “I wish it wouldn’t have happened, but I learned something because it did,” his head tilts to the side as he drinks you in.
Staring into his whiskey colored orbs longer than you should have, “What did you learn?”
“I learned that… seeing you cry is something I never want to do again. I only want to make you happy, never sad,” He reaches up to cup your jaw, his eyes scanning over your face frantically.
Looking away from him, you feel your eyes start to well up. He inhales quickly before adjusting beneath you, “No… no, what did I say? I didn’t mean to ma…” he starts to panic, wondering what he said wrong.
“Remember when we were camping? And you told me I was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen in your life, and I started to cry?” You chuckle. He reaches up to wipe away your tear. His body visibly relaxes when you compare the situations.
“Mhm, and you told me that no one had every talked to you like that,” his voice is quiet. You have to swallow the lump in your throat when you realize he remembers that moment as clear as you do.
“Well it’s true, ya know? I don’t know if I’ve ever been properly…loved,” You start to explain, “At the same time, I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this way about anyone else. You make me feel like I’m crazy. There’s something about you that’s so intoxicating to me. I’ve never experienced having someone care about me the way you do or pay attention to me the way you do. It’s all so new to me, I’d be lying if I said that I’m not terrified.”
When you look up at him, he’s nervously chewing the side of his mouth. You laugh through your nose, leaning forward to press your lips to his. When you start to pull away his lips chase after yours. He kisses you a little more passionately this time as his hand wraps itself around the back of your neck pulling you down to him again. Breathlessly you pull apart, his hand still holding you close as your forehead rest on his.
“I’ve never been in this deep for someone, y/n. I’ve never cared about someone as much as I do you. I don’t know why. I can’t explain why I have these feelings for you but, I do. You make me so happy, and you bring a peacefulness that I’ve never felt before. I fucked up once, and I promise you that I will never do anything to hurt you ever again. Like I said… only want to make you happy.”
Your tears are mixing with his, and you can’t stop them from coming. You know that everything he’s telling you is true. You know that even though he hurt you, he didn’t mean to. You know that if you allow him too, he will love you with all of his heart for the rest of his life.
“I know we were going to talk about this tonight, but I can’t wait anymore, “His voice was shaking, almost as if he was unsure of the words that were about to be spoken. He sits up tall so that his face is mere inches from your own. He swallows hard, and his nerves start to rub off on you.
You raise your brows giving him a gentle smile as your fingers slide down to the back of his neck, silently telling him that he didn’t need to be nervous. He exhales loud in response.
His hands quivering as they rest on your sides, “I want to be with you. I want to be all yours, and I want you to be mine. I know what I want, and I don’t want you to be confused about anything anymore. Will you be my girlfriend, y/n?”
Your chest tightens with every confession that leaves his lips. The overwhelming feeling to scream or yell or cry. His eyes scanning your face for an answer, a hint, anything to ease his nerves.
Your voice is shot, so you nod aggressively. Tears shaking off of your face. Before you can get your full response out his lips are on yours fervent and passionate as his fingers lace in your hair on the back of your head to pull you closer to him.
He pulls back to take you in once again, “I’m sorry, I’m just having a hard time believing that you’re finally mine.”
You giggle as he pulls you in again kissing you slower this time, taking in the details to remember this specific moment and the exact way he feels. He wonders if he should tell you he loves you. He wants to, he wants to scream it from the roof top. He was honest about never being this deep. Part of him thought he may never know what it felt like to be in love. Up until you, it was short relationships that were always one sides and lacked something vital. Up until you, love didn’t exist. To him, you were love.
“So, does this mean…we can get breakfast instead of dinner? I’m literally starving to death,” Your stomach groans rip through the silent room. Jungkook instantly starts to die of laughter.
“Yes baby, I’ll make you some pancakes, sound good?” He shakes his head, giggling at your dramatic head nod.
Sitting across from him as you eat breakfast, reality set in. Everything felt surreal. Every fiber of your being was ready to dive into what ever was in store for you and Jungkook. As much as you convinced yourself that you were ready for the next step, there was no denying that you were terrified of giving your heart to him. Obviously, the sexual attraction was there, but you wondered if that was part of what was making everything so intense for you.
Jungkook was an anomaly to you in so many ways. He was caring, attentive, and insanely attractive. The most dangerous thing about him, however, was his ability to bring you to your knees; literally and figuratively. He was like a sex God that you couldn’t say ‘no’ to, because why would you? During your time away from him, you wondered how you would feel if you hadn’t allowed yourself to be with him sexually. The automatic intimacy was something about your relationship that made you miss it; made you miss him.
“What’s on your mind?” His voice is laced in innocence as he cocks his head to the side. Stacking your plate on top of his. You have to laugh at his innate ability to see through you. Another reason it was so hard to deny your chemistry.
“I guess, I was just thinking about us,” your bottom lip is instantly sucked into your teeth as you look away from him.
You hear him hum as he stands to put your plates in the sink, “Anything you want to share?” he asks. You can tell he’s somewhat anxious by the way he avoids you. His back turned away from you as he fidgets with the dirty dishes in the sink. You stand and wrap your arms around the back of him.
“Nothing bad, I don’t think at least… just maybe want to take things… slow.” You mumble into his back, feeling his quiet chuckles rumble against your cheek. He turns in your arms, brushing your hair behind your ears before cupping each side of your head.
“I’m listening,” He smiles.
You take a deep breath as you explain how you feel. Ultimately ending by telling him that you want to wait awhile before the two of you do anything sexually.
“It’s not like I don’t want to, I just think it’s smart if we maybe slow things down a bit. The way we should have at the start. I like you a lot Jungkook, and I want to be confident that we exist outside of our sexual attraction…” you ramble, his attention on you never faltering. “Do you hate me now?”
His eyes scrunch together, appalled that you would ever assume that he could hate you.
“I could never hate you,” He presses his lips to your cold nose, “What I feel for you is way more than sex. But I get that I need to prove that to you, and I will. I think that if that if it’s something you need from me than I will go as slow as you need me to.”
“You promise you’re not mad? Or upset?” you ask him quietly, swallowing hard. He lightly grips your chin, pulling your face up so that you’re looking at him.
“Baby… why do you think I would be mad?” He asks, his voice is soft and concerned.
“I-I don’t know,” your chest starts to tighten, and tears start to build up in the corners of your eyes, “Ben would get mad if I didn’t want to. He always made me feel guilty because I made him wait three months before we had sex. He said he didn’t mind at first, but he did.”
Jungkook wraps his arms around your shoulders pulling your in close. His face red with fury. If he thought he had reasons to hate Ben before, now he had motive for murder. He lifts you up, setting you on the counter so he can stand eye to eye with you.
“Look at me baby,” he demands softly, “I would never make you feel guilty for not wanting to have sex with me. You are so much more than your body and I need you to know that. We can take things as slow as we need to take them. I want you to trust me completely, I will never hurt you.” He pleads, begging for you to believe that he was someone different.
Tears building in his own eyes now, guilt of his own words and actions weighing even heavier. He knew that he hurt you when you overheard his conversation with Ben, but it was so much more than that. You let your walls down for him, and he completely let you down. He pulls you into him tighter this time. Understanding how vital it is for him to love you properly. To show you how incredibly special you are to him.
Your conversation ended there. You both moved to the couch, deciding to watch a movie while you cuddled with one another; not quite yet ready to let one another go.
“Abby is going to lose it when she finds out we’re actually together.” You murmur into his chest with a giggle. You feel his chest shake when he starts to laugh quietly.
“Yeah Jimin and Tae have been making bets on if and when it would happen.”
“Assholes,” You shake your head, rolling your eyes at their immaturity. At the same time you cant blame them for finding a way to make your roller coaster of emotions somewhat entertaining for them.
“Are you going to Jimin’s movie night tomorrow?”
“Yeah, should we tell them then?” you ask
“Maybe… or maybe we should have some fun with it?” He grins down at you.
“I’m listening…” You tilt your head on his chest to look up at him.
“Well if Jimin and Tae are betting on us, you know Abby is playing along too. So, what if we tricked them. When we show up tomorrow, we not only act like were not dating… but as if we have no feelings at all. They’ll be so confused.” He giggles.
“When do we tell them?” you bite your lip, weighing out the scenario in your head. You know they’ll be pissed but that’s what makes it intriguing.
“Mmm… I guess when we leave? Unless they catch on before that.” He shrugs, looking down at you.
“They’re gonna be pissed,” You giggle raising your brows.
“I know,” He laughs, clearly that’s the point for him.
“Alright lets do it.”
Movie night comes faster than expected. You almost fucked up the plan by wearing Jungkook’s sweater over your leggings. Last minute you had to run inside and switch it out for one of your own. You and Jungkook ride together, deciding that you’ll go inside a few minutes before him. You’ll tell everyone that you took an Uber if they ask.
“Remember, pretend I don’t exist.” Jungkook reminds you, as he pulls into the parking spot. You glance over at him, nodding your head. His sharp jawline on full display as he chews at his bottom lip. His tattooed arm flexing as he adjusts his grip on the steering wheel. He reaches down and puts his car into park. As soon as he does you instantly reach across turning his head to look at you.
“You say that like it’s going to be easy…” You mumble as you drink in his facial features, the mole just under his lip begging to be kissed. His lips start to pull into a smirk. Without thinking you push yourself out of your seat and over to his lap. Straddling him with one leg on either side of his. His eyes follow your every movement, his breath hitching when you finally make yourself comfortable. His hands naturally reaching behind you to cup your ass over the thick material of your leggings.
Finally facing the truth, you will never get used to the way he looks you. His dark caramel colored eyes reminding you of Whiskey in more ways than one. The way they warm your entire body from head to toe, or the way that they make you want to risk it all; never thinking about the consequences. Completely and utterly intoxicating.
You lean in kissing his cheek with a feather light touch, his eyes never leaving you. With your fingers just below his jaw, your lips dance along his cheek, closer and closer to his plump lips. Both of you letting out a sigh of relief when you finally reach them. Your lips fitting together as if they were made for each other. His tattooed hand suddenly comes up to your neck pulling you desperately closer. His tongue teasing your bottom lip just before he decides to let it slide inside. Your tongues tangle together for what feels like a century, until he pulls away, trapping your bottom lip in between his teeth as he does.
“Fuck, I don’t know if I can do this,” He giggles as he tries to regulate his breathing. You giggle as you leave a trail of kisses down the side of his neck. You know it’s not helping the situation but if you’re not allowed to talk to him or look at him for the next 3 hours you needed to get in what you could now. With one final, long, kiss to his lips you open his car door to let yourself out.
“It’ll be worth it,” You giggle, realizing his hand was still holding onto yours. You look at his lap realizing that you caused quite the situation. You wince, biting your lip as you look at him with sorry eyes. “Ill go inside and let you figure that out,” You giggle as you start to walk away.
“I thought you were supposed to be sweet?!” He yells out sarcastically, only making you laugh harder.
It was harder than you thought it would be. Not because you desperately wanted to snuggle up to Jungkook on the couch, but because between Tae, Jimin, and Abby; you couldn’t catch a break. The second you were in the door they were on you like bats out of hell. Asking you every question under the moon about you and Jungkook and your impending status. You immediately excused yourself to the restroom, claiming you had to pee the entire way here. Once you were away you texted Jungkook telling him to come inside so they would stop hounding you. You knew they wouldn’t talk about it if you were in the same room.
Conveniently, Jungkook walked into the apartment as soon as you walked back into the kitchen. You smiled at him, then quickly excused yourself to the living room to sit and wait for the movie to start. Jungkook follows your lead, sitting directly across the room from you. His eyes meet yours for a brief second, and you wish you had the ability to read his mind. The not so quiet whispers from the kitchen catch your attention. You have to giggle a bit at how overdramatic they were being. No doubt, they were confused. If it weren’t for Yoongi yelling out for them to join everyone in the living room, they probably would have stayed in the kitchen trying to figure out what was happening.
They all file into the room, their eyes casually flicking from you to Jungkook. Abby cuddles up to Yoongi, her eyes tight on you. You avoid her at all cost, knowing she would try to communicate through her eyes. Jimin sits with Jungkook and Tae plops down next to you. His innocent smile playing on his lips as he turns his head and looks you up and down.
“You doin okay?” His brow lifts as he asks you.
“Uhm… yeah?” You giggle, scrunching your brows as you adjust the cover that lays over your body, “Are you?” you smile.
He looks over at Jungkook, who is seemingly immersed in whatever is on his phone screen.
“Im… good.” He answers, his brain still trying to put the pieces together. Jimin is talking to Jungkook but it doesn’t look like he’s getting the answers he wants. As Yoongi presses play on the movie, all of the questions come to a halt. You can still feel Abby’s eyes burning into your head. Midway through the movie you can tell they’re all texting one another, each of their phones going off at the same time.
Your phone goes off a few minutes later…
Kookie:
He keeps asking me and I keep shrugging my shoulders. He’s losing it… this is so funny.
Wait awhile to respond, they’re watching.
Controlling your reaction on your face was harder than you thought it would be. You calmly set your phone down, resting your head on the couch. A few minutes later you decide to go to the restroom, pulling your phone out to text Jungkook back.
Y/n:
Yeah they’re for sure losing their minds.
… this is kinda hard.
*send*
You glance at yourself in the mirror, fidgeting with your appearance. A risque thought comes to your mind. You know you shouldn’t but, at the same time, you can’t think of a reason not to. You quickly take your hoodie off of your body and slide your leggings down your legs. Adjusting the waistband of your panties, then adjusting your girls in your bra. You sit on the edge of the bathroom counter, making your ass look fuller than it actually is. After playing with angles, you decide to take your bra off since he can see your tits from this angle anyway. After a few tries you finally capture the perfect picture.
Plopping down on to the couch, you wait a few minutes until you see Jungkook take his phone out of his pocket. Hiding your phone, you quickly press send, and adjust yourself so you can see his reaction. His eyes suddenly widen as he rearranges himself on the couch. His eyes flick up to yours, making your chest burn with a simple look. His pupils are blown out as he gnaws on the corner of his mouth anxiously. He pulls a pillow over his lap and waits a few more minutes before responding.
Kookie:
Baby doll, this was not a part of the plan.
I cant stop mentally undressing you now.
As you read the message, the corners of your mouth lift into a cocky smirk. The pillow over his crotch tells you everything you need to know. As the movie comes to an end, everyone starts to talk about their weekend plans. Jungkook is quiet as his eyes are locked on you. His leg bouncing beneath him, as he leans on his elbow. You pick up your phone trying to decide on the words to say. As your fingers ghost over the screen, you can’t seem formulate what you want to say to him. You slowly look up and when you make eye contact with him, your mind is made up.
You slide your phone into your hoodie pocket, as you slowly push yourself off of the couch. Jimin going on about weekend plans in the background, but you and Jungkook are in a world of your own. As you walk across the room, you don’t notice when the room goes silent. Jungkook instantly perks up when he realizes what’s happening. Straightening his posture, he moves the pillow on his lap, and you take its place. Straddling him as if no one is in the room. Leaning into him, you gently slide your fingers through the hair at the base of his neck pulling his face up to yours.
Both of your smiles disappear when his lips hit yours, pressing into you for longer than he should have. When you finally pull away your rest your forehead against his.
“Hi,” you whisper.
“Hi.” He smiles.
“WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!” Abby and Jimin scream nearly in sync with one another. You and Jungkook both start to die of laughter, as you adjust yourself to sit in his lap facing the others.
Taehyung, Jimin and Abby staring at you like you have three heads.
“Are you… are you together? Officially?” Abby throws Yoongi’s arm off of her so that she can stand up.
You look at Jungkook, and you both nod.
“Finally! For fucks sake. It took you long enough.” Yoongi groans out of nowhere, expressing the thoughts that were on everyone mind. The whole room erupts into laughter, and snide comments about how cruel we were to trick everyone. Abby and Jimin expressing their annoyance with not being called immediately.
“We just thought it would be funny. We know you guys have been placing bets on when it would happen, “Jungkook says as his arms tighten around your waist, pulling you in closer to him as he buries his nose in the crook of your neck.
An overwhelming feeling of contentment washes over you. Jungkook’s lips lightly brushing against your shoulder as if he needed to make up for the time that he wasn’t able to. His fingers laced with yours as his thumb brushes the back of your hand. It felt so natural. Even everyone around you had seemed to move on, clearly it felt right to them too.
His lips trail from your shoulder up to your ear, moving your hair out of the way, “No one will ever wonder if we’re together anymore. From now on, everyone will know that you’re mine and I’m yours.”
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Taglist:
@cainami @carolsummerlove @zeharilisharaban @jikooksgirl19 @fallen-for-luke @madygswich @sugalarity @lofikoo @ggukkieeee @peachy-bhun @megs58298 @kawaiiayasan @ jeonchan26 @ambersaesthetics @hopekookies @rumpucis @iaintnohollybackgirl
A/N: THANK YOU for your patience on this chapter. There will be one more chapter (maybe two) after this one! I got a new job and life has been hectic. Please let me know what you think! (let all of your favorite writers know how much you love their work! We appreciate it more than you know!)
#Jungkook Fanfiction#jungkook#BTS jungkook#jeon jungkook#Jungkook fluff#Jungkook smut#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#Jungkook fanfic#Jungkook angst#jungkook x y/n#bts x you#jeongguk smut#jeongguk#Jungkook imagine#Jungkook one shot#Jungkook x reader#jungkook x yn#bts smut#bts fluff#bts angst#bts imagine#bts one shot
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“All these kisses and hugs is not shit.
You a damn drug, you're toxic.”
—Kehlani
Word Count: 1.3K
Pairing: Bakugo Katsuki x Reader
Context: Everything is the same, you’re just pro-heroes. Oh, and Bakugo defintely broke your heart when you were younger, but for some reason, you two don’t want to act like that happened?
Warnings: explicit language, sexual content (but no real smut), a couple laws were broken
Manga Recolor by XCamykoX on DeviantArt
All characters are 18+
A/N: You to me when I give you the look for feigning for this man.
I swear I love Izuku. I just had to do it for the drabble. You’ll understand in a few lines. Also, idk if Hampton is a real place. I just saw it in a hotel ad and went along with it. Enjoy <3
Bakugo Katsuki | Toxic
Bakugo Bakugo Bakugo.
He was all that was in your mind and you knew it wasn’t supposed to be like that. He wasn’t supposed to make your stomach quiver or your legs tremble with anticipation. He was supposed to be the hallmark of your heartbroken memories—not the pillar of your desire.
You groaned before mentally making a verdict. You bolted upright and decided to trade in your battery-powered boyfriend for the real one.
Izuku.
Your boyfriend, you reminded yourself.
You shook your head. Today was a good time to be risky. You felt comfortable in your skin for once and confident enough that the right picture would make the usually reserved man run across town in four seconds flat.
Giggling in excitement, you felt your stomach fill with butterflies. You traded your pajamas for the white lacy lingerie you’d been keeping in your closet. You analyzed yourself in the mirror, adjusting the straps of the thigh highs for good measure. Smoothing down your fit, you grabbed your phone and tried to take an endearing snapshot of yourself.
The results made you frown. This wouldn’t do. It wasn’t demanding enough. Your eyes traveled around the room and your face brightened as an idea popped up in your head. You set the timer and set your phone against a stand.
The round of camera clicks allowed you to relax. Soon enough, each pose came easier than the last.
When you were done, you almost skipped to your phone. You couldn’t help the string of giggles that spilled from your lips as you scrolled through the photos.
These were the ones. They were enough to a send wave of goosebumps over your skin. The courage and exhilarant thrill that chilled your spine fueled you to caption the seductive pictures.
I’m feeling very lonely. Come keep me company?
You bit your lip to quell your nervous shivers. The photos were sent and all that was left for you to do was wait. You flopped face first on your bed and hopefully looked on your phone for that thrilling response of—I want you in X position by the time I get there—or something along those lines.
Things that Bakugo would say when you’d—
Stop it. Bakugo isn't who you want. It’s Midoriya.
You kept your thoughts positive as you scrolled through your texts. That is, until you noticed the messages weren’t conversations between you and your boyfriend.
Your heart sunk into your gut when read the contact name. Flicking to the number, your throat dried up as you read that the area code was 485 instead of 487.
No no no no no no no no no no no—
You scrambled onto your knees, panting as if you had run a 10k. Your chest ached as tears burned your eyes, your fingers fruitlessly scrambed on the smart screen for any type of recall button.
“Oh fuck,” you cursed.
Swallowing the rock in your throat, you sniffed and blinked away the tears. This was your fault. You decided to go ahead and act like a horny teenaged airhead instead of doing things the mature way. There was no point in crying about it now.
You forced yourself to take a quick look of who you sent the private pictures to.
Bakugo Katsuki.
Great.
You threw yourself down onto the bed, this time, letting a couple tears fall down your cheeks. You fucked up. Big time. Not only had you miserably failed at distracting yourself from the same man that you were supposed to stay away from, but now he had even more things to hold over your head.
As if leaving you for your best friend in college wasn’t bad enough.
You would never be able to live this down. How the hell were you supposed to face him tom—
Your phone rung.
Dread stung filled your chest. Without even having to look, you knew who was calling. His name ran bold across your homepage and the rhythmic piano song filled the corners of your room.
Couldn’t he just let you wallow in your misery? Did he really have to add on to the torment you would undoubtedly face tomorrow at work? Maybe if you just let it ring, he’d leave you alone.
…As if. This was Bakugo you were talking about.
It was better to face him now.
You pressed the answer button and spoke.
“I know I screwed up really bad, but remember how I thought I was dyslexic? The area codes looked the same out of the corner of my eye and I didn’t mean to send this to you and it was totally meant for Izuku—“
A deep husky voice reached your ears sending waves of pleasure to your core.
“Y/N L/N, what the fuck kind of game are you playing?”
The last time he used your full name was when his hands were rubbing down the hills and valleys of your body. You nervously played with the strap on your shoulders and continued.
“Bakugo, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’m stupid. Just forget I ever sent the pictures and—?“ Your brows creased together as the sound of highspeed winds flowed through the speaker. “A-are you driving?”
The hero’s foot fell harder upon the gas pedal. “How the fuck can I forget about that when I know you own the lingerie you have in my dreams?” Bakugo blared the horn of his car and swerved around a slower vehicle. “You make me regret living in shitty Hampton.”
Your eyes widened. Hampton? Was he driving 45 minutes to—
“No, Katsuki. Go back. I’m begging you.” You didn’t realize the silk-laced voice was yours until seconds after.
“Sweetheart, I don’t want you begging for that reason. You wanna play games? Fine. When I get there, I’ll make sure to play every position in the book. But for now, I’ll entertain you. I know this is really rushed but, baby, are you wet?”
Your mouth was dry but your body was flushed. You couldn’t lie to yourself any longer. You loved it when his desperate voice was still as gruff as it was. You loved the way he’d become frenzied with arousal over a few pics. For crying out loud, he was taking a 45-minute drive to your house because of three pictures.
But Izuku. Simple, boring, good-two-shoe, Izuku. He was your boyfriend. You couldn’t let Bakugo bust in here and take you—no matter how much you wanted him to.
Besides, were you going to let the same man that broke your heart reclaim the pieces just because you were horny?
You sighed.
“Look, Bakugo. I would really appreciate it if you just deleted the pictures and forgot about it.” You gave a distorted chuckle. “Or you could delete it and make fun of me for the next twenty years. Anything, you want.”
“I want you prince/ss—“
You hissed at the nickname.
“Baby…”—you couldn’t even be bothered to stress over the pet name—"Please go back. From what I hear, you're breaking twenty-five state laws and twenty-four federal ones. It’s two in the morning and we both have to be at work in five hours. And I don’t wanna deal with the paparazzi if they catch you here. So go back home. For me?”
Choice words flew from his lips. Then there was the sound of tires screeching to a halt. Bakugo heavily exhaled.
“Damn you, Y/N. You drive me fucking crazy, you know that?”
Relief came as a nervous chuckle. You placed your hand on your chest. “Thank you and, again, I’m so sorry. We can laugh about this later today. And—“
“But you still haven’t answered my question.”
You inhaled sharply at the curt tone of his voice.
“W-what question?”
“Are you wet?”
#katsuki bakugou#mha drabble#bnha scenarios#bnha bakugo x reader#bakugo x y/n#midoriya izuku#izuku x reader#izuku x y/n#I can't even blame you for being a lil stupid#katsuki has demon dicc#2.5k follower event and celebration!
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The one with the snake
Pairing : Snake Hybrid!Kim Taehyung x CEO!Min Yoongi (MXM)
Genre : Fluff
Warning : Shitty customers, use of curse words, these two get it on at the end lmao
Wc : 1961
Rating : PG13
A/N : Thank you @taegularities for being my beta ily. Hope you guys like this fic, if you have any idea/promt/req send ‘em my way~<3
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Taehyung woke up to an empty bed, no sight of his boyfriend, and what made it worse was the fact that he’d had a nightmare. With the day already feeling like it was ruined, Taehyung left the bed and went to get ready. It seemed that life hated him though, of all the days, today had to be the day that the geyser had to break.
After the insanely cold shower, Taehyung’s mood had worsened even more. Frowning, Taehyung walked to the kitchen after changing - where he couldn’t find his favourite jacket, so he had to wear a completely different outfit than he had planned originally - to find the toaster broken too.
Taehyung groaned, throwing his head back in frustration. He grumbled as he walked to the fridge and opened it, annoyance rising even more when he found it empty, save for some coffee that he didn’t even like. Slamming it shut, he walked out of the kitchen and went to grab his things to leave for the day. He could get some food on the way or have Jin hyung make him some.
-----
Standing in the parking lot, Taehyung stared at his car, or well, the spot where his car was supposed to be but wasn’t. Mouth agape in shock, Taehyung slowly raised his phone to his mouth, “Hey Siri, call Min Dickin on speaker.”
“Calling Min Dickin iPhone on speaker.”
Taehyung stood there waiting for Yoongi to pick up, trying to figure out where his damn car went. “Hello?” A voice rang out from his phone. “Hey uh, where the hell is my car?” Taehyung asked.
“What do you mean where’s your car? It’s in the parking lot.”
Trying to keep the creeping headache at bay, Taehyung rubbed his face, stress levels increasing with each passing second, “It’s not there, smartass.”
“What do you mean it’s not there?”
“What the fuck do you think it means?”
There was a pause after that in which none of them said anything, though Taehyung could hear muffled sounds of Yoongi moving around and talking to someone else.
“Oh! Babe don’t worry, Namjoon took it to the repair shop apparently,” Yoongi spoke up after a while. Taehyung closed his eyes and took in a deep breath at that before saying in the sweetest voice he could muster, “Well then, baby. How am I supposed to get to work today?”
“....Ta..ke the bike?”
“Jungkook and Jimin crashed it last week, remember?”
“...I could send a car to pick you up?”
“Yoongi, your office is an hour away from here and I need to be there in,” Taehyung pulled his phone back to check the time, “7 minutes ago, great.”
“Call Jin hyung and let him know you’re gonna be late, I’m sure he’ll understand.”
Before Taehyung could reply, however, his phone beeped once and then shut off. Taehyung tried turning it on, but the screen only displayed an empty battery symbol. He swore to himself as he glared down at the dead phone, he wanted to chuck that thing into the ocean.
Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, Taehyung walked out of the building to catch a bus and finally get to work. Jin was gonna have his head.
-------------
The first thing that Taehyung had heard when he stepped into the kitchen was Jin’s booming voice screaming at him. “Yah! You’re so lucky you have me as a boss! Not only am I the most handsome boss, I am also benevolent. This is the third time you came late for your shift, you’re lucky I don't just fire you sometime! I know not everyone can be perfect, but really.”
See, if this had been any other day, Taehyung would’ve joked around and said something funny as a reply, but it wasn’t any other day. Taehyung wanted to cry from the headache and this did not help at all. Taehyung contemplated if he could run back home and burrow but decided against it. Life may be a bitch but it won’t make Taehyung it’s bitch today.
Not saying anything besides whispering a soft sorry, Taehyung walked past Jin to the staff room to change into his uniform, leaving Jin shocked at the normally cheerful man’s somber mood.
------------
The day felt as if it would never end. The headache that had never left Taehyung, rather it kept getting worse as time went by but he still pushed on. Jin had asked Taehyung what was wrong when he came out of the staff’s room, but Taehyung had brushed him off without a word earlier.
Now nearing the end of his shift, Taehyung was praying to any deity above to not make this day any worse. The day was already a bad one, from the way it started to how it kept progressing. Someone had spilled their food right in the middle of the restaurant and Taehyung had to clean it up - now that wouldn’t have been so bad if while doing so another colleague of his hadn’t bumped into him and spilled even more food on the floor for Taehyung to clean up. Taehyung could only give the other person a tight lipped smile. He was just one more incident away from screaming, life really was testing him today.
It was proved yet again that life hated him though, because just as he was about to leave to change, a lady had cornered him and demanded to speak to his manager. Taehyung had stared at her in bewilderment, not having noticed her approach him in the first place before he quickly put on his ‘I might seem like I’m extremely happy to serve you, but I’m dying inside’ smile, “Is there something wrong, ma’am?”
“I demand to talk to your manager!” the woman shouted, now starting to attract others’ attention. Tongue flicking out to lick his lips, Taehyung asked, “Ma’am, please calm down. I could try to assist you in any way I can?”
It was clear this woman would not calm down from how she started shouting even louder. Taehyung scrambled to try calm her for the sake of other customers and his headache to no success.
“What’s going on?” Jin strided out of the kitchen at the commotion. The woman whipped towards Jin before speed walking to him, making Jin step back slightly from how aggressively she approached him. “Are you the manager here?” she asked, well, more like demanded.
Jin raised one perfect eyebrow at her, “I’m the owner of this establishment, what’s the matter, ma’am?”
“Your waiter here has been staring at me the wrong way for the last five minutes! Who even hires a snake? They’re evil!”
Taehyung stared at the woman in incredulity. What was she on about? He hadn’t even seen her before she’d rudely approached him! He was literally staring off into space till the- oh. Did she think he was staring at her cause of that? Taehyung almost snorted at the thought of how conceited someone can be.
Jin stared at her with mild amusement, “He was what?”
“Staring at me the wrong way!”
“So not only are you saying that one of my staff members is evil, but also that Kim Taehyung was staring at you the… wrong way?”
“Yes!”
Not being able to hold back anymore, Jin laughed out loud at the absurdity of the woman in front of him. This wasn’t anything new to Jin, these kinds of customers were more common than he would’ve liked to admit. But someone saying Taehyung, the guy who was so in love with his best friend that he wouldn’t spare anyone a glance was ‘staring the wrong way’ at someone, much less a lady, was simply too amusing.
Clearing his throat and composing himself, Jin spoke up, “Ma’am I can assure you our staff would never do that, much less him.”
“Yeah? Well he was! Fire him right this instant or I’m never coming back to this place!” the lady threatened.
Taehyung watched in fascination as Jin, unbothered as ever, pointed at the exit and asked her to ‘leave if you wish to’ without any hesitation, gaze hardening into a glare. The lady flushed in anger and roughly poked at Jin’s chest, exclaiming as she did so, “This isn’t over! I will sue you!” before turning and leaving the place.
The only running through Taehyung’s mind as he watched her leave was how much she reminded him of a chubby little elephant stomping away. He kinda felt bad comparing a magnificent creature like an elephant to whatever hell spawn she was though. “Sorry Hobi hyung, didn’t mean to compare her to you.” He had whispered to himself.
Taehyung waited for Jin to scold him or talk to him, but Jin had just winked at him before returning to the kitchen. He let out a breath of relief before he too left to go finally change out of his uniform and go home, low-key convinced someone had put a curse on him or something.
--------------
Yoongi left the office earlier than he usually would, one of the perks of being the CEO, after getting a call from Jin about Taehyung not feeling the best today. Yoongi had rushed out of his office as soon as it was 5pm to reach home and set about preparing Taehyung’s favourite food and taking out all of his favourite movies, so they could cuddle and watch them.
Yoongi was going to make this day better for Taehyung, no matter what!
-----------
It was 8pm, but there was still no sign of Taehyung; he should’ve been back by 7pm. Yoongi sat on the couch, trying to call Taehyung, but the call never went through.
Yoongi decided to wait five more minutes before he would go out to look for Taehyung. Meanwhile he would go reheat the food to make sure if Taehyung did return by then, he’d get warm food.
Yoongi was about to leave the house when a soaking wet Taehyung walked in. Yoongi gasped in shock and rushed to his side, “Oh my god what happened?! Why are you so wet? Are you okay?”
Taehyung dropped his sopping jacket on the ground and pulled Yoongi in for a hug, hiding his face in Yoongi’s neck, grip tightening. Yoongi hugged Taehyung back, not caring about how he was getting wet, too concerned about the crying man in his arms.
“Baby what happened?” Yoongi asked, running his hand through Taehyung’s hair to calm him down.
“Don’t wanna talk about it,” Taehyung's muffled reply came as he nuzzled closer to Yoongi, desperate for comfort.
Yoongi decided not to say anything, just let Taehyung get it all out. After a while Yoongi had finally decided to step away and send Taehyung away to go freshen up while he would get the food so they could eat it while watching movies.
------------
Yoongi had just set down the food on the coffee table when he was suddenly grabbed and pulled into a kiss. Yoongi stiffened at first but soon melted into it, hands raising to trace the scattered patches of scales on Taehyung’s body, making him shiver.
Still kissing, Taehyung started backing Yoongi till they reached the couch. Yoongi fell on the couch as Taehyung moved to straddle him. He groaned as he felt Taehyung’s forked tongue lick at his lips, asking for entrance. Parting his lips, the two battled for dominance, Taehyung winning at the end.
After a while, Yoongi moved back to break the kiss - Taehyung chasing after his lips, not wanting to stop - while panting slightly, “W-what about the food?”
Taehyung smirked, his pupils contracting into slits and his fangs showing, “I wanna have dessert first.”
Well then, Yoongi couldn’t say no to that.
#bangtaninn#thebtswritersclub#blackswannet#mxm#yoongi x taehyung#bts yoongi#bts suga#bts taehyung#bts v#bts fluff#hybrid!taehyung#hybrid!au#bts au#taegi au#bts taegi#taegi fluff#bts fanfic
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I’m replaying book one and I was thinking what if Ethan had turned up to their housewarming party? Feel like doing a head canon/Fic ? 🤩
“House Party”
Synopsis: Tonight, Charlie and her friends are throwing a house party to relax after a tough week at work, and all Charlie wants to do is relax and have fun. She never expected to see Ethan Ramsey at the party, and she certainly didn’t expect to spend the night talking on the roof with him...
Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x MC (Charlie Greene) (prequel to A Weekend w/ Dr. Ramsey Series)
Choices Story: Open Heart (set during book 1 house party)
Rating: Teen
Words: 3.5k
TW: discussions of workplace sexism
Thank you for this ask!
Ethan Ramsey didn’t attend parties, and he certainly never attended intern parties.
So, why was he making his way through a crowded hallway to this one?
He was asking himself the very same question. Of course, it was Naveen’s fault. Only a few hours earlier, they’d been sharing dinner in Ethan’s apartment. Over a glass of brandy, Naveen ordered Ethan to attend. Ethan initially refused, but with enough pressure, Naveen succeeded in manipulating his friend into attending.
Naveen said that he wanted Ethan to make more friends in the hospital, so he should go. Ethan suspected Naveen was up to something, but he hadn’t figured out what.
The second Ethan stepped through the apartment’s front door, he felt old.
Almost everyone was at least a decade younger than him. They moved through the crowded space with ease, and they stared at Ethan with apparent displeasure and shock. Ethan didn’t recognize the song playing or even the drinking games happening around the room.
He shouldn’t be here.
He resisted the urge to run away as fast as he could.
He could see whispers ripple through the party. Everyone knew he was here anyway. He was determined to stay for a while just to prove himself.
Pushing past a group of drunk pediatric interns, Ethan searched for the bar. He knew that the alcohol would be cheap, but he hoped it would be strong enough to ease his discomfort.
He didn’t recognize most of the attendees. Most of them were residents from other departments. The few attendings were young and interacted with Ethan rarely. He knew the nurses but only professionally, so he felt strange walking up to them now.
Ethan wondered who lived in this apartment. Should he be greeting them? Was he supposed to bring a bottle of something to thank them for their hospitality? Were they his interns? Would it be weird if he talked to them here?
Speaking of interns, he saw one of them.
His favorite, arguably.
Charlotte Greene.
She was in the middle of the room, surrounded by a crowd of people that seemed to adore her. Like the rest of them, Ethan felt captivated. Outside of work, she was different. Softer, more confident. Less afraid, certainly.
And… well, beautiful, too.
He already knew she was beautiful. Even sleep-deprived and dressed in frumpy scrubs, she was pretty. But nonetheless, seeing her so stunning now was shocking. He almost felt guilty for the thought. Like his mind was overstepping some professional line – a line that frequently felt faint with Charlie.
He liked her too much.
She was too similar to him. Too talented. Too promising. Too kind. And far too friendly.
She was dangerous but in a way that was easy to keep away.
But tonight, as Ethan approached her in a crowded party, she seemed… enticing. Impossible to ignore. He couldn’t stop staring. He even had an urge to talk to her.
He was close enough now that he could see the man standing next to her.
Bryce Lahela. A surgical intern. Very promising from what Ethan’s colleagues said.
And he was all over her. Lahela’s arm hooked around Charlie’s bare midriff, keeping her pulled tightly against him. His fingertips dug into her skin, squeezing her skin as he whispered into her ear. She bit her lower lip as she listened, and he finished whatever he said with a kiss on her lower jaw.
Ethan hated it. He didn’t want Bryce to flirt with Charlie, and he didn’t know why. Eventually, he likened it to some sort of protection instinct – like he wanted to protect Charlie from the wiles of some lothario.
Not that she needed his protection.
Or wanted it.
Charlie Greene knew precisely what she was doing. This was her party, and Bryce was her man for the evening. Though if Bryce wanted to skip out on their friends with benefits arrangement, she doubted she would have trouble finding someone to replace him for the night. Charlie never got to do this. She was always working. She never got to put up her hair, put on a push-up bra, and expose her skin. It was the first time since she moved to Boston that she got to have fun like this, and she was determined to do it all.
And she was.
She was the woman of the night. In her tight jeans and skimpy top, she knew she was hot. And finally, after months of ill-fitting scrubs and stressful work, she got to be hot!
Finishing off her beer, Charlie whispered her goodbye to Bryce and smoothly exited his arms to get herself another drink. She congratulated herself as he watched her walk away.
Everything was amazing.
She forgot she was an intern. She forgot about her tough job and her long hours and her shitty boss.
Until she saw him.
Charlie felt the color drain from her face as she came eye-to-eye with her boss from hell, Dr. Ethan Ramsey.
She was frozen.
She couldn’t believe it.
He was here?
He couldn’t be.
He wouldn’t go to an intern party! Who had even invited him?
As Charlie stared at him, she realized she had been frozen hunched over the beer cooler, meaning she’d been showing him her cleavage the entire time.
She felt like she was going to throw up.
He was walking towards her.
Why???
Suddenly, Charlie did not feel hot anymore. She was an intern again – and a frightened one at that. She felt exposed and embarrassed. And so fucking angry that her night had been ruined and that he might hold this against her forever.
All she wanted to do was feel hot! Not be held responsible by a sexist man for the rest of her residency!
“Dr. Greene,” Ethan greeted her and regretted it immediately. Why was he so formal?
It was really him.
Charlie stared at Dr. Ethan Ramsey in all his glory. Annoyingly handsome, as always. More awkward than usual. And thank God, not staring at her cleavage.
“What are you doing here?” Charlie blurted out.
Ethan was taken aback.
He didn’t know what to say.
“I was just-“ Ethan began but was cut off by Charlie.
“You shouldn’t be,” she said, the emotion high in her voice.
She didn’t trust herself to stay around him.
She was upset. Her night felt like a mirage, and the façade of the confident, hot girl had slipped away. She was angry and sad, and she just wanted to get away from him before he committed her skimpy outfit to memory.
She remembered the last time a male superior ran into her when she was dressed like this.
It had been her research professor. She saw him at a bar, and the look of disgust and disappointment was burned in her memory. He never treated her the same. From that point on, she was just a silly girl. He never gave her the good projects, nor any accolades. She moved to another lab at the end of the year.
Dr. Ramsey wouldn’t be the first man to allow sexist ideals to ruin her career. He would just have more power to do it.
Tears welled in her eyes.
She had to go.
Without another word, Charlie marched off, disappearing into a confused crowd that looked at Ethan with suspicion. They all wondered what he had done to her.
And Ethan wondered what he had done to her…
The sting of rejection prickled at his skin. Maybe he should have known that she hated him. He felt… silly for thinking otherwise. He was, after all, their evil, demanding boss. What had he expected?
He never should have come.
Ethan no longer felt the need to prove himself by staying at the party.
He wanted to go and give Charlie her party back.
Ethan tried to avoid others as he crept out of the party, but they stared anyway.
He let out a breath of relief when he made it out the front door. Seeing the line by the elevator, he headed towards the stairs.
He never expected to find Charlie.
There she was. Just trying to be alone in the stairwell, planted on the third step up as she tried to control the urge to cry. Once again, Ethan had found her in a place he was not wanted.
Now, it was his turn to freeze.
Should he leave without saying something? No, that felt wrong when she was visibly upset. But he knew she didn’t want to see him. She made that clear. What was he supposed to do?
Knowing it was probably the wrong decision, Ethan took a step in Charlie’s direction and said, “Are you okay?”
Charlie’s eyes snapped to him, suddenly alerted to his presence. The pain in her face shifted to disbelief. Was he everywhere now?
“No!” Charlie snapped, too shocked to control herself, “Men like you lose respect for women like me the second they see her as anything other than professional and virginal, and forgive me if I needed to leave so I don’t have to watch my career slip away because of a revealing shirt!”
Ethan wasn’t surprised she yelled at him. Frankly, he expected it the second he opened his mouth. But he was surprised at what she said.
He had never even thought of that.
Of course, he had thought of the revealing shirt – a thought he wasn’t particularly proud to have. But if he was disappointed in anyone, it was in himself. She was entitled to dress however she wanted outside of Edenbrook, and it no bearing on her performance. She could be a competent doctor no matter what she did in her free time.
“Charlotte, your clothing – and anything else you do outside of Edenbrook – have nothing to do with your competency as a doctor. It would take a true misstep for you to lose my respect, and I’m sorry if I gave you any impression otherwise. You shouldn’t have to fear that,” Ethan apologized earnestly.
He wondered who had mistreated her along the way – what sexist man had used his position of authority to impose his ideas of women’s role in society. He wasn’t sure what he could or should say. He couldn’t relate to the experience, and he didn’t want to cheapen or misrepresent it by trying to seem like some kind of savior.
An awkward silence followed as Charlie wrestled with his words.
Against her better instincts, she believed Ethan.
And even though the threat had passed, the overwhelmed feeling lingered.
“Well…” Ethan ventured, “Enjoy your night. I was just leaving.”
She didn’t know why she said what she said next.
Maybe she was thankful for reassurance. Or she felt bad for ruining his night.
Whatever it was, she said, “You don’t have to.”
Ethan was sure he didn’t hear her right.
“What?”
“You don’t have to go,” Charlie explained, her arms wrapping around her knees as she tried to soothe the remaining fear in her chest, “We’re okay, so you can stay, if you want.”
Ethan thought it over, imagining the party left inside. He couldn’t stomach stepping back into the spotlight, and if he was going to drink alone, he’d prefer to do it in his own home.
So, with a polite shake of the head, he said, “I don’t think so. I’m not sure if the rest of the party would agree with you.”
Despite herself, Charlie cracked a smile.
He was probably right. She knew that if her friends knew she was inviting Dr. Ramsey back inside, they’d never forgive her.
But something inside her begged her to not let him go.
She didn’t want to be alone, and somehow, Dr. Ramsey ended up being the person here with her.
“I’m going to the roof,” Charlie announced, “You can come. I’ll bring alcohol if that makes it better.”
“You want me to come?” Ethan was shocked.
He liked Charlie, sure. He even thought that she could be a mentee one day, but he never expected she would invite him to share a drink on a roof. Was this something he should say no to? It crossed a line. But looking at her now, he felt like he couldn’t leave her alone.
So, against his better judgment, he agreed.
He had so many opportunities to back out.
But 10 minutes later, he was up on that roof with her, staring at the Boston skyline with a beer in hand. In the dim glow of night, Charlie was even more beautiful than before. Vaguely, he registered that he had never been in a setting this intimate with her. Something about that frightened him, but like all the times before, he didn’t know why.
He didn’t understand the pull to her, nor did he understand the accompanying fear.
A breeze interrupted his thoughts, bringing with it a gentle chill. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Charlie shiver.
On instinct, he slid out of his leather jacket, and he offered it to her.
Charlie stared at the jacket with mistrust. Why was he giving it to her?
“You look cold,” Ethan explained.
“Are you just trying to hide my cleavage or something?” Charlie blurted out, and she regretted it instantly. Her cheeks flushed a bright shade of red, and she promised herself to never talk about her breasts to Ethan Ramsey again.
“No, you’re shivering,” Ethan chuckled.
Chuckled.
He was amused.
Charlie was both shocked and relieved.
And instead of acknowledging either, she took the jacket and accepted its warmth.
Another silence.
“So, why did you come tonight?” Charlie asked, deciding to satisfy her own curiosity.
“A friend insisted I come,” Ethan answered vaguely, taking a sip of his beer.
“If you have a friend in there, why did you look so confused then?”
“Oh, they didn’t come,” Ethan seemed humored by the idea of Naveen forcing him to come but ignoring the party himself.
“But they made you?”
“Yes,” Ethan affirmed.
Charlie hummed her confusion but asked no more questions.
“We’re throwing the party because it’s our first real night off,” Charlie explained, “And we wanted to make some friends who could commiserate with us. Every day, I feel more and more like a terrible doctor at work, so a successful party was supposed to improve spirits.”
“Terrible doctor?” Ethan repeated incredulously, and he scoffed, “No, you’re not. Young, yes. Inexperienced and naïve, of course. But you’re a good doctor. I knew you would be when I read your file.”
Charlie blushed, “You read my file?”
“You read my book!” Ethan tried to defend himself.
Charlie just smiled wider, and she averted her eyes to the skyline, trying to appreciate the fact that her hero not only read her file but approved of it. This was something out of a med school dream.
“You’re pretty far from home,” Ethan added. However, he released belatedly that he probably shouldn’t be so obvious with remembering the details of her residency application, “Not that I would have guessed. You don’t have much of an accent.”
“You look exactly like the kind of guy who grew up in Rhode Island,” Charlie teased.
“You know where I grew up?” Ethan was smiling, too. Like this was all some game where they admitted to knowing everything about the other. He felt close to her and free to say things he normally wouldn’t.
“Your bio is in your book.”
“Yet you didn’t know what I looked like.”
“I read your bio. I didn’t ogle a book jacket,” Charlie rolled her eyes.
Ogle. He was worth ogling?
“Besides, North Carolina is only a flight away,” Charlie insisted, just like she had to her mother when she moved to Boston a few months ago.
“Oh, and do you have winters in North Carolina?”
“We have mountains!” Charlie insisted, looking affronted, but she was still evading the question.
Amused, Ethan pressed, “And did you live in those mountains?”
“… No, I didn’t,” she confessed, “But to be at Edenbrook, I’ll brave any winter – no matter how cold and bitter.”
Ethan smiled. He liked her dedication, though he would also be entertained to see her trudge through the deep snow for the first time.
As they talked, Ethan began to see Charlie as more than a promising intern. He could see her on his team one day, by his side on cases. Her insight, though needing refinement, was rare. With his mentorship and connections, he was sure she would become something amazing – probably even surpass him.
They talked for what felt like forever. They both left a sip in their beer, not wanting to end the conversation by finishing their drinks. They talked about Boston, Edenbrook, their respective alma maters, and Ethan’s experience as an intern.
They weren’t best friends by any means, but… maybe they were friends?
Or at least they were acting like friends…
And there was a moment at the end of the night when they felt like… more than friends.
Finally giving in to the night, Ethan was walking Charlie down the stairs, and they were discussing their med school days. They were nearly at the door, and Ethan looked down at Charlie, watching as she laughed and told him a story about her sleepless nights in medical school. With her head tilted back and her eyes alight with humor, she looked… so beautiful.
Unbearably beautiful.
And all those dangerous feelings started bubbling up.
He liked her. He liked the intern. As a person and as…
Oh no.
He was trying to block out the thoughts as quickly as they came, but the urge was harder to ignore.
As they stood on the landing, looking straight at each other as Charlie finished her story, Ethan wanted to kiss her. He wanted to taste the lipgloss on her lips. He wanted to feel her soft, blonde hair in his hands. His thoughts were consumed with her.
And he was leaning closer.
He was too close.
Charlie noticed, vaguely.
She was still talking, but she didn’t care what she was talking about.
Because… she wanted to kiss him, too.
And when he finally stepped back, snapping them both out of the moment, she felt disappointed.
“I should get going…” Ethan said, talking mostly to himself.
“Yeah,” Charlie agreed, her voice soft as she tried to hide her dissatisfaction. Why didn’t she want him to go? “I guess I’ll just see you at work then.”
Work.
They worked together.
Ethan was her boss.
They both knew better.
“See you then,” Ethan nodded his goodbye, too afraid of his own impulses to give any other kind of goodbye.
As he walked down the stairs, Ethan thought to himself that Charlie Greene was very dangerous. He would need to be careful around her. Even if he didn’t want to…
From inside his cab, Ethan texted Naveen that he went to the party but that it was a failure of a night out. Yet, as he typed it, something inside him said that wasn’t true.
Charlie walked back to the party silently, wishing she was still back on the roof.
She felt ridiculous.
All she’d wanted was to be a hot girl in a crowded party, but now that she stood in the crowd again, she longed for the quiet company of Dr. Ramsey, a thought she never imagined she’d have.
“Where have you been?” Bryce called out, a drink in hand. A girl stood next to him, one he’d probably been flirting with only moments before, but he left her behind in favor of Charlie.
There were perks to their arrangement. Even if they were never going to be romantic, it was nice to have someone to pick you. But it didn’t bring her the usual comfort. Because Bryce was just casual sex. Most of their hookups were in the early hours of the morning when they hadn’t showered in days. All of their other interactions were just friendly.
They didn’t make her feel like she did on the roof.
“Oh, I ran into Dr. Ramsey, and we were talking,” Charlie tried to make it sound casual, and it was casual, wasn’t it? They were just talking, so why did it feel bigger than that?
“Boooo,” Bryce jeered, “Ugh, I can’t believe that jerk even came.”
“He’s really not that bad,” Charlie stood up for him instinctually, something she would have never done only a few hours ago.
“Ooooh,” Bryce grinned, “Do you like Dr. Ramsey?”
“No!” Charlie insisted defensively – too defensively.
“I think you do!” Bryce teased.
“The only doctor I want to sleep with is you,” Charlie asserted, stepping closer and wrapping her arms around Bryce’s neck.
Instantly forgetting his teasing, Bryce looped his arms around Charlie’s waist and pulled her flush against him, “Oh?”
“Mmmhmm,” Charlie murmured, her breath hot against his lips as she leaned in for a kiss.
“How about another drink and then back to my place?” he whispered, biting Charlie’s lower lip, and she agreed.
As she shared her final drink with Bryce and danced with her friends, Charlie was able to enjoy the rest of her night.
But something had changed. Something so small that she wouldn’t appreciate the significance for quite some time. But the thing was… she still wished she was back on the roof with Ethan.
A/N: I hope you liked this. When I started, I was super excited to go back to pre-Weekend with Dr. Ramsey and show some of the FWB with Bryce, but when I introduced the sexism plot, I got nervous. If this was done poorly or you think it just came off weird, please let me know and I’ll go back to it. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. Maybe I’m just too nervous because I loved the idea when I started, but once the writing started, I became worried.
But if you’re interested in prequel stuff, hmu! Also, my asks are open for cool ideas like this!
#choices#ethan ramsey#open heart#choices stories you play#ethan ramsey x mc#pixelberry#dr. ramsey#dr. ethan ramsey#fanfiction
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yk so i was watching bmw (boy meets world :) ) while procrastinating an essay so oF COURSE i decided to write some more of my reverse robin au (that pertains to jason being the oldest of the batkids w/ him and dick growing up together) except fLUFF bc i cannot handle angst rn (oR cOulD I wE wiLL nEvER kNoWwwW)
oh and disclaimer there may be several medical inaccuracies so please feel free to correct me :)
jason often gets night terrors, ones that can get particularly awful when bruce goes on an overnight business trip. so one night bruce is in new york after being forced into it by lucius, with dick being adopted for some time now. dick was awake because he was having trouble sleeping, for no real particular reason in all honesty. he heard a short yell though, coming from the room next to him and he dashed over, tripping over his blanket and still gripping zitka tightly. he knew that he wasn’t supposed to fight yet, but he doesn’t really think about that as he yanked jason’s door open.
he then saw his brother laying on his side, turning back and forth, breathing heavily looking so visibly pained it was hurting dick. he rushed over to jason, his eyes darting around because he just didn’t know what to do. taking his chances he tapped jason’s shoulder gently, and he already felt like it wasn’t the right move but he sucked it up and tried again, only this time to some result. jason shot up, gripping on tightly to dick’s arm, his eyes hazy and unfocused and his chest heaving.
dick remained still, only slowly trying to push jason off of him and back into his bed. jason’s grip didn’t let but he laid back in bed, squeezing his eyes tightly as if he was trying to push away everything he had just witnessed. dick took this as an initiative to gently climb into bed, as jason fell back into a less violent but equally as stressful sleep. he placed zitka next to jason, who still hasn’t let go of his arm, and awkwardly sat up in bed, almost acting as a protector. slowly, dick began to doze off, feeling a lot more comforted in his brothers prescence then he had been in his own room.
jason on the other hand, doesn’t remember much of that night, as he rarely fully remembers any of his night terrors (only the scars they leave behind), but when he wakes up at the ass crack of dawn with a few fragments of something he would prefer not to remember, he puts it together rather quickly. he guessed it would happen, and he could’ve told bruce and he knew the guy would drop anything in a heartbeat, but that pissed him off, more so then it justifiably should. he wasn’t a child and he hadn’t been a child for a long fucking time, and it was stupid that he couldn’t deal with a single night without bruce. jason then turned onto his side, disgruntled with a new found rage directed at himself that he might take out on someone else, when he found dick, sleeping at an awkward position.
he was leaning on the headboard, but was slumped down and drooling a bit, which would have been hilarious blackmail material on any other given day. but today, jason felt a pit in his stomach. the only rational thought that his mind could conjure in its fear muddled frenzy was please tell me i didn’t hurt dick, pleasepleasepleaseplease. he quickly checked over dick’s face, cupping his checks and looking for any signs of a bruise. he had given bruce a particularly nasty one earlier in his tenure at the manor, after bruce attempted to restrain him while he was having a night terror so he could avoid hurting himself, instead jason kicked him in the jaw. he even felt bad about it the next day, which was an odd surprise for him at the time.
after checking over dick hasilty, he could see he wasn’t all that hurt, even though if he looked hard enough he could see inklings of nail shaped markings in dick’s right arm just under his shirt sleeve. jason felt a bit of bile rising up, as he gently shifted dick into a better sleeping position, and pulled the blanket up to his chin and slipped a pillow underneath him. dick opened his bleary eyes, mumbling jason’s name in question, and squinting his eyes. jason rolled his eyes but nodded, “yeah, it’s me. now sleep–why’re you shaking yer head? you don’ wanna sleep? too bad.” jason pressed another pillow onto the side of dicks face in a teasing attempt to smother him to sleep, but dick only proceeded to giggle, and snuggle closer to jason, who had sat up already. jason tossed the pillow to the side after a few seconds of play fighting, dick was going to be too sleepy to remember this break in the ‘teasing older brother’ façade. so, he ran his hand through his little brothers hair and laid back down, tracing soft circles into dick’s scalp absentmindedly. and feeling a rush of gratitude that bruce had brought this little circus boy into his life. he really didn’t know what he would do without his little brother. (needless to say, dick became a constant comforter in jason’s night terrors).
jason blames dick for everything. if a vase got knocked over, it was a dick. if the tv wasn’t working, dick had been playing with the satellite. if his phone was missing, dick stole it to play games. if his sweater had a stain, you better bet it was dick. the boy in question, of course, adamantly denies these facts and does have a way of persuading bruce (he is the golden child after all, jason could testify to that), but bruce also knows both of his boys are annoyingly good liars. so every incident is treated like a little miniature crime scene, and it never fails to make jason howl in laughter at dick explaining how he couldn’t have possibly used up jason’s shampoo because he has his own washroom with his own shampoo and so w h y jason w h y would i steal your shampoo. (jason’s usual response is a deadpanned ‘why wouldn’t you’, and that just gives bruce another headache as the two bicker on and on and on.)
the pair of them usually go biking together, and it’s usually quite tranquil to start. until dick makes a sly comment that jason’s old bones must be so tired from cycling, so why not take a break? jason snide reponse is how the fuck are you touching the pedals with your stubby ass legs. that’s really all it takes for them to delve into a full on biking race. it never really ends well, but the two always come out rolling in laughter so whose to complain.
dick thinks real housewives of beverly hills is better then new jersey, and jason is adamant that new jersey is superior in every shape and way. the two agree that atlanta is the absolute winner no matter what though.
jason is dick’s english tutor. and it’s safe to say that it’s an experience. dick already knew a fair amount of english growing up, his father had been a wonderful teacher but it wasn’t exactly up to gotham academy standards apparently (jason knew the feeling) and his accent was still quite prevalent to have him be considered an esl kid, so jason ended up being his tutor once dick started going to english class at school and after his time with an esl instructor. jason, who has an untapped passion for literature that not many can match, is absolutely dedicated to teaching dick, because fuck man this is genius! genius, dick! and dick isn’t exactly a fan, but he does secretly think jason should be a teacher, he’s better then any of the teachers he’s had that’s for sure (his father would’ve really loved jason too, that was also for sure). and dick is considering buying him a little briefcase with his little initials on it. ((it happens, and jason tries really really hard not to cry))
bruce is absolutely that parent that secretly takes pictures of every single moment possible. he isn’t a photographer, in any sense, but he likes to capture natural moments, and he has a series of pictures dedicated to the one trip him and the boys took to Barbados where he started this habit. he wasn’t and still isn’t a big fan of beaches, they’re hot, crowded and just too much for bruce to feel any kind of comfortable in. he remembers sitting under a floppy beach umbrella, feeling the knot in his chest sit heavily on his heart, fire ants scurrying across the underlining of his skin, burning under the side stares of those passing by. it wasn’t until he caught a glimpse of dick riding on jason’s little shoulders, as they trotted around waist deep in the clear ocean water, that the fist squeezing his heart like the rotten fruit it was began to ease. he glanced down at the camera that alfred had subtly slipped into their bag after dicks insistence, and lifted it up to fiddle with it slightly. then raised it up to take a swift picture. capturing jason mid laughter as he leaned back, in a joking attempt to shake dick off who was in the middle of a yelp but had entrenched his hands in jason’s mop of curly hair. it was hilarious imperfect, but bruce would not want it any other way. not at all.
(jason found it once. he saw the picture at the corner of his eye sitting by the keyboard of the ‘Batcomputer’ ((dick was so shitty with names, thank god he didn’t come up with flippy man as his code name )), and he hesitated for a moment before hastily grabbing it. examining it with an unexpected amount of gentleness, he rubbed his thumb against the glass above dick’s hands in his hair and felt something snake around his heart. slowly and methodically seeping into it until he felt like he couldn’t fucking breathe. then he heard damian trotting down the stairs as he explained the details of his anthropology class to dick who was hopping down behind him. jason shoves the picture back and grits his teeth together to ignore the sting that was absolutely not in his eyes)
aAAAND THATS ALL!! i’ve had these in my notes for a while so it’s relief to get them out there hehe so i really hope y’all enjoy ive legit been falling in love with this reverse au bC THERE IS SO MUCH POTENTIAL U G H IVE NEVER BEEN EXCITED TO WRITE SHIT UNTIL NOW SO Y A Y FOR INSPIRATION
Y A Y :)
#reverse robin au#reverse robins#big brother jason#jason todd#dick grayson#bruce wayne#good dad! bruce#bruce is a good dad#oK?? SUE ME HE IS FUCK CANON#dcu#robin#brothers#they are such dorks#and idiots#bUT THEY ALL LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH LIKE IDGAF HOW MUCH JASON WANTS TO PRETEND DICK IS HIS BROTHER AND HE LOVES HIM NO MATTER WHAT UNIVERSE#OK??? OK#fluff#i promise i can write fluff#i wrote this at 2am#again#hence the spelling mistakes so please excuse those :)#this is angsty yall#ish#maybe#ITS DEPENDS ON HOW U VIEW IT OK??#batman#:)#this is fine i’m totally not procrastinating and writing dc headcanons to compensate :)))#also#headcanon
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I'm aboutta post about the miraculous fandom again, but I'll hide it because it's gonna be a rant and that shit gets long sometimes <3
So, new episodes, new problems. I really love the way the show shows these ineffective methods of problem resolution and avoidance, and effective methods as well. You see, I am just going insane, frothing at the mouth if you may, at this whole "Alya knows who Ladybug is but Chat Noir feels betrayed because he is her partner first and ooops now he gets less action in akuma fights and he thinks Ladybug doesn't really need him anymore but actually she's just a scared little girl and adults are terrible" thing. Oh geez I'm gonna have to itemize all my points, here we go:
1. Alya knowing Marinette's identity is a good thing. It's a really good thing. I have mentioned in a previous post that these teenage superheroes are in a really bad position of extreme parentification and being forced to grow up too fast. Ladybug has seen her partner literally die several times!! She has seen entire sections of her city, sections she knew had people, leveled and flooded and burning and crushed to the ground, no sign of the life that was once inside them. She has had to lie pretty much every second of every day for more than a year, with the old guardian saying she should lie more and her kwami suggesting she lie less (about things that aren't about her identity) and it gets so confusing that now everything is a secret for Ladybug, because no one can know what's the truth about what she says and what's a lie, because if they know, then they'll know who Ladybug is and the world as she knows it will end. Now, that last take was irrational, but for a child with the weight of the world on their shoulders and that weight getting heavier and heavier every day? That's what she thinks she has to think, because any complacency would cost lives.
Alya knowing means less she has to think about, less she has to plan completely alone, and more confidence that she can handle this insane responsibility. Alya knowing means she can go back to being Marinette just a little bit more, and know that she doesn't have to be Ladybug all the time. Every aspect of her life has been taken over by this bullshit and that is traumatizing and exhausting, and she just went from zero support system to having her best friend back.
2. Chat Noir doesn't have to know who she is, and he is alright with being upset about it, but the right thing to do in that situation is talk to the person who is upsetting you and letting them know how you feel. Now, Chat Noir is an abused child. He has never been allowed to tell his father that his behavior was upsetting him (think internalizing reasons like, "he works so hard, he's probably too busy, and if I say something, then he'll just be stressed and busy"). It makes sense that he would transfer this thinking over to Ladybug, another authority figure in his life, not over him, but someone he knows to have a lot of responsibility. In his mind, if he tells her he's upset, it will only cause her stress and make her job harder because she has more important problems. But the thing about being an adult?? Just because you're busy and you're stressed and you're dealing with the weight of the world doesn't mean you are allowed to upset the people around you, even unintentionally. A healthy family for Adrien would have allowed communication, for his father to listen to him, even though he's busy, and to let him know that he understands and it's alright for him to be upset about something like that. And if he was using this framework for handling conflict, he would know that even though Ladybug has big responsibilities, they can talk to each other about their issues and reach an understanding. BUT let's move past his childhood trauma, there's more to talk about in this point.
Chat Noir is allowed to be upset, but internalizing it is bad, very, very bad, especially because he's a superhero. Gotta practice that healthy mindset when you need all your focus to defeat butterfly man. If he bottles it up and hides it from the world, his pain will grow and morph into something dangerous as it turns from sadness to anger. We've seen him lash out at a chimney, which shows just how much pain he's been hiding, since he's never been a person to lash out, especially not with violence. That scene was meant to make it obvious he's getting close to a point of no return, that he is so upset at the world that his method of holding it in is cracking and his anger is breaking loose. And from the new episode, we can see that he's now losing control of his ability to hide it, and Ladybug keeps seeing and keeps asking if something is wrong. And this is supposed to be a relief for him!! He's supposed to see her reaching out to see what's wrong and know that she cares and that he should tell her, because she'll want to fix it with him!! But his dad is shitty, so instead of seeing how much she cares, he only sees a warning that his mask is slipping, and he hurries to right it before running off.
The adult thing to do is talk about your feelings and problems, but they're kids, and for him at least, abused kids at that.
3. (told you this would be long) Chat Noir and Ladybug knowing who they are is different from Alya and Nino knowing who they are, by a lot. Alya and Nino are supporting superheroes, which doesn't mean they aren't as important as Ladybug and Chat Noir, but you literally can't get things done if you don't have a Ladybug. If Alya and Nino knowing who they are compromises them, there is so much less to lose. Hawkmoth getting their miraculouses means he gets more powerful, yes, but it doesn't mean the fight is over. Ladybug and Chat Noir would still be in the game, and they could still fix it. If Ladybug and Chat Noir knowing who the other is compromises them, there are 4 things at risk:
1. The miraculouses and the balance of the friggin' universe
2. The holders for their miraculouses would have to be replaced if they avoided capture
3. Now that Marinette is guardian, her memory and the safety of the miraculous box would be at risk.
4. Marinette would have to replace Chat Noir, and I don't think she can ever do that
If Shadowmoth could use their identities against them, there is so much more to lose. And Alya and Nino don't have the same weight on their shoulders that Adrien and Marinette have. I get why Chat Noir is upset they know each other, but the rules are different because the risks are different. And the pain this causes them is yet another reason this is parentification and abuse!!! Fuck Fu, you don't do this to children!!!!
4. Chat Blanc is some serious fucking trauma my dudes. Like, oh my god, Marinette touched her catacyslmed body aND WATCHED AT IT DISINTIGRATED BEFORE HER VERY EYES. She saw miles and miles and miles of what was a vibrant city under a sea of water, not a single living person to be seen. The fucking moon had a hole in it. And she saw the one person she trusts the most, the one person who know just what they are going through because they're going through it together, vulnerable, angry, and ready to destroy the world. And he said it was their fault, but we know Ladybug only heard that it was her fault. That if she hadn't slipped up and let him know her identity by leaving her name on a present, she could have prevented the loss of life of millions, potentially billions, and she could have prevented whatever pain caused her kitty to lose control and end the world.
It makes sense that she doesn't want anyone to know. It was her slip-up, after all, that caused the chain of events leading to Chat Blanc, the lucky charm proved as much with that eraser. And if she doesn't say anything about it, she can lie to herself and say it didn't effect her, because none of what she saw ever actually happened. But we know Chat Blanc haunts her nightmares, we knew that even before we saw her nightmare in Sentibubbler, and if she doesn't say anything about it, if she doesn't talk to a fucking therapist, she will break apart everything she is desperately trying to hold together. It would be easier for her to know that she is hurting people if they would tell her, like with Chat Noir refusing to talk about his need to be needed, but she doesn't know. And I think she wants, more than anything, to make sure it doesn't happen ever again by defeating Shadowmoth as soon as possible. If he's gone, there will be no one to turn her kitty into a monster, and she will have saved him and herself. If he's gone, she can finally let down all the walls. You can see her desperation to end everything by her crazy ladybug towel getup mad scientist lab experiment, and her desperate ranting and hurried rush for ideas, and her sadness at how close she got to getting rid of him in Sentibubbler as she watched him get away. She wants her kitty to know, and she wants him to be safe, but he never can be with Shadowmoth around.
#feel free to interact#even if you disagree#i wanna see what people think about all this#tw language#tw childhood trauma#tw childhood neglect#tw parentification#miraculous ladybug#ladybug#chat noir#alya#nino#i just really wish my little disaster children were okay :(#they deserve the world and to make mistakes in a safe environment where false steps wont be punished with emotional manipulation and death#long post#oh my god do i ever shut up
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Stress Reliever - Part Two
Summary: Gansey can’t stop thinking about Ronan tickling him to pieces on the couch and tries to seek the other out for a repeat of that day. Ronan is happy to oblige so long as he hears a certain confession from the other boy.
Gansey had been trying all week to get Ronan to tickle him, and the fifth time it happened Ronan finally caught on to what was happening.
After that first and second time on the couch, Ronan had left the other boy relatively alone. There were a couple moments when Ronan would jab him in the ribs, or that teasing smirk would play once again at his lips, moments where Gansey suspected he would pounce. Each time nothing happened. It was almost annoying as Gansey had been on edge ever since that day, waiting for Ronan to take advantage of his newfound information. As days and then weeks went by, however, Gansey began to accept that maybe he had forgotten. Or worse—maybe he was weirded out by the whole thing and was avoiding him on purpose. The thought was mortifying and Gansey tried to push it from his mind, though anxiety kept it there at the edges of his consciousness, needling away at him endlessly.
After a while of this strange radio silence from Ronan, Gansey decided to take matters into his own hands. The first time he had provoked Ronan into retaliation he had been acting like a dick; maybe it would work a second time.
When Gansey was feeling particularly stressed or needed something to help him focus, he would often turn on a playlist of classic jazz from the 60’s. Ronan was not a fan of this particular brand of music, something Gansey was well aware of. Hence why now he blasted it through all of Monmouth Manufacturing while leaning back in his chair and waiting. Sure enough, a couple minutes later he heard a bang, a muffled curse, and then Ronan stumbled out of the confines of his room. Gansey waited, casually twirling a pencil between his fingers as Ronan approached him.
“Turn it off.”
It was more of a demand than a request, but Gansey sat there stubbornly, refusing to touch his phone which was connected to a shitty stereo he had found at a gas station. He could have bought something of better quality, technically, but he preferred the retro aesthetic. It was yet another of the things that Adam often got annoyed at him for. “Why? Is it bothering you?”
“Obviously,” Ronan snarked. “I can’t hear myself over your damn music. I’m trying to sleep. Dream? You know? Work on my skills?”
“It’s three in the afternoon,” Gansey replied dryly.
Ronan examined him for a moment, making a mental calculation, before lunging forward and attempting to grab the stereo himself. Gansey had been expecting this, however, and quickly launched to his feet so that he was directly in-between his jazz and Ronan.
Ronan appeared startled by the confrontation; usually Gansey preferred to settle things peacefully. Still, he wasn’t one to give in easily so he narrowed his eyes, taking a step forward. “Move.”
“No.”
“Gansey.”
“Lynch.”
Ronan continued to glare at him for a moment, and Gansey could see his fingers twitching by his sides, the solution to their problem simple and easy if either was to act upon it. Triumph glimmered in Gansey’s eyes.
To Gansey’s surprise, however, Ronan simply sighed, turning around suddenly and grabbing his keys off the desk.
“I’m going out,” was his only answer to Gansey’s questioning gaze, and then he was gone, leaving the latter alone in the house once more, having failed at his mission.
Gansey tried a couple more times after that, each time trying to find the right words that would provoke Ronan, small jabs that he was sure would make the other boy retaliate in kind. Each time it failed, leaving Gansey increasingly frustrated. His annoyance only grew as he watched Adam make the same kind of comments only to have Ronan pin him down on whatever surface they happened to be one, digging fingers into flailing skin. Gansey tried not to be jealous. The two were in a relationship after all; it only made sense that they would be more handsy with each other.
Still, Gansey couldn’t think of anything that he wasn’t doing. He stretched for abnormally long amounts of time whenever Ronan was around, raising his arms painstakingly above his head. He had even starting walking around the apartment shirtless, something that before would have mortified him. No matter what he did, Ronan would simply toss him a strange glance and then move on.
Maybe he wasn’t being overt enough. It pained him to be any more obvious than he was already being, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
“What are you doing?” Ronan asked when Gansey sat on the couch besides him, stretching his legs out so that they crossed over the former’s lap. Ronan was watching a movie, possibly a nature documentary though it seemed unlikely. He appeared less than pleased to suddenly have an entire extra Gansey on his person.
The Gansey in question shrugged, acting completely oblivious. “Sitting on my couch.”
“No, you’re sitting on me,” Ronan pointed out. He frowned down at the other boy’s legs for a moment, but after a while decided it was more trouble that it was worth to move him and settled back into the couch, turning his attention back towards the screen.
As it turned out, it was a nature documentary. Something about the dangerous lives of baby turtles, or something along those lines. It didn’t seem like the sort of thing Ronan would watch, but he appeared fully engaged as one, thus far successful, turtle evaded hungry seabirds and pointy rocks.
Gansey on the other hand, found himself fully unable to focus on the TV. All he could think about was how Ronan’s hand, stretched out as it was on the armrest, was mere inches away from his feet and how easy it would be for Ronan to tickle him at that exact moment. His heart raced with strange nerves at the thought, desperately hoping that Ronan would take the hint and he wouldn’t have to say anything.
Half an hour passed in the same tense silence. Around then, however, Gansey managed to catch the other’s eye and just noticed a smirk play over Ronan’s lips before he redirected his attention back to the TV. That was when Gansey suddenly realized that they had both been playing separate games all along.
Ronan knew.
Of course he knew. He hadn’t been oblivious to Gansey’s attempts, he had merely been willfully ignorant. He knew exactly what he was doing right now and he was going to make Gansey say it because Ronan was an unforgivable sadist.
It shouldn’t have been as hard as it was to say the words out loud. He could play off his last request as a fluke, a momentary bad decision, a play for attention. This, however, would be an admittance of a desire that Gansey had only just come to realize in himself. After that day on the couch he had found himself unable to think of anything but Ronan’s fingers digging into his sides, his hips, right above his knee. He had tried replicating the sensation with his own fingers, but it hadn’t been the same.
One month. That’s how long the want had been festering inside of him, and he could feel it at the edge of his mind, desperate to escape. So, swallowing his pride, Gansey finally gave in.
“Could you—” he started, breaking off suddenly. Ronan turned to face him casually, arching an eyebrow and waiting for the words he had known were coming for weeks now. “Uh, could you, maybe… you know… er, that thing you did before… the, uh, the tickling thing?”
Ronan grinned then and simultaneous relief and nerves flooded Gansey’s system as he realized he wasn’t angry or disgusted. The next words that came out of his mouth, however, shattered that relief into a million tiny pieces. “Why?”
Gansey swallowed audibly. “Uh, I’m sorry, what?”
“Why do you want me to tickle you?” Ronan repeated calmly.
Fuck.
Shit.
Fuck.
Gansey was going to kill Ronan. Sure, it would be unfortunate for Adam and even Henry had started to grow fond of him, but at the moment it seemed the only way for him to get out of answering the question.
“Well…” Gansey started and then faltered, trying to think of a way to phrase it without sounding like a lunatic. Because he needed it? Because the unbearable sensation had been haunting him for a month now? Because the only way for him to get rid of this ball of stress in his stomach was to be able to laugh and squirm freely under devious fingers?
“Hmm?”
“I… sort of… like it?” Gansey cringed even as he said the words. “When you tickle me that is.” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “I like you… uh, I like you tickling me. I don’t know... why, necessarily. I guess I just enjoy the feeling, not, like, in a weird way. I just...” He tugged at his collar in the most Gansey-like gesture to ever have been attempted. “It helps me relax I suppose, and it feels... nice?”
Ronan examined him for a moment, a moment where Gansey waited on edge for him to respond, and finally said, “Okay.”
“O-Okay?” Gansey repeated slowly, uncertain if he had heard him right. “Okay what?”
“Okay, now we’re getting somewhere.” Quick as lightning Ronan had snatched his ankles up in one arm, Gansey’s eyes wide at the sudden helpless position. “Now I believe there was a certain request you had made of me?
“Y-Yeah,” Gansey stammered, unable to stop a helpless grin from taking over his features. “I mean, if that’s okay with you?”
The request was so unnecessarily polite that Ronan felt it was now his sworn duty to wreck the boy to pieces.
He started out light, however, wanting to lull him into a false sense of security. Gansey’s smile widened as nimble fingers drew slow circles over his feet, softly tracing the outline of the soles. Gansey hadn’t been sure before if his feet were even ticklish at all, but due to the electric currents running up his legs he figured it was a safe assumption to make.
Ronan started gently scratched his nails against the ball of his foot, startling a squeak out of Gansey that he quickly muffled by pressing a hand against his mouth. The squeak soon turned into a couple of hesitant giggles, his leg jerking against Ronan’s hold.
“I thought you wanted me to tickle you?” Ronan inquired innocently when Gansey’s struggling increased due to fingers raking suddenly down his soles. “I mean, you were the one who asked for this.”
“I-I did,” Gansey agreed, shifting on the couch as he tried to adjust himself to the sensation. “It just—ah, pfft, hmm—it just—nohoho, wait—”
“Tickles?” Ronan filled in for him and Gansey was only able to nod in response as Ronan suddenly dug in with vigor, spidering his fingers with quick intensity all over his soles.
Gansey’s response was instant. He jerked forward on the couch, one hand outstretched as if to stop him, before falling uselessly back again. “Rohohohohohonan!”
“This is incredible,” Ronan muttered with a shit-eating grin. “I can’t believe you’re ticklish and you like it, and somehow we never found out about this. I guess I’m going to have to make up for lost time.”
“Y-Yohohou’re an ahahahass!” Gansey complained, one hand covering his face to hide his growing blush while the other furiously gripped the couch in an attempt to prevent himself from stopping the other.
“I’m a what now?” Ronan dug under his toes and Gansey snorted, leg twitching involuntarily. “I don’t think you’re in any position to be back-talking right now.”
“W-Whahahat ihihif Ihihihi, gahahaha, whahahat ihihihif ihihi tihihihickled yohohou?” Gansey shot back, the threat sounding much less intimidating through helpless giggles.
Ronan couldn’t help but be aware how vulnerable his torso was, however, as both arms were occupied with Gansey’s legs. He stiffened, glaring back at his friend. “Then you’d be dead and I’d get revenge tenfold.”
“Ahahafter, or behehehefore y-yohohou kihihilled mehehe?” Gansey pointed out.
“You’ll never get to know, because you’ll never try it.”
“W-Wahahanna behehet?”
The shaky, laughter-filled words had Ronan immediately on edge. Before he could say anything back, Gansey had lunged forward and latched both hands onto his ribs, vibrating his fingers against the bone. Ronan choked on a laugh, the intensity of the sudden tickling making him immediately release Gansey’s legs and dart his elbows down protectively. Gansey had a precious few moments of wrecking Ronan’s torso while the other was still paralyzed with snorts and laughter from the sudden attack, before Ronan whirled around and grabbed each of his wrists, pulling them above his head.
Gansey swallowed as he stared up at him. “Hello there.”
“Hey,” Ronan said, a sadistic fire burning in his eyes that had Gansey’s nerves thriving with excitement.
“I don’t suppose there’s any chance that you’ve decided to forget revenge and let me go?” he inquired hopefully.
“I don’t know.” Ronan switched his hold to one hand so that the other could slowly walk up the length of his right side. Gansey squirmed apprehensively at the touch. “What do you think?”
Gansey squeezed his eyes shut, giggling as the fingers reached his armpits. “N-No?”
“I guess you do have some brains in you after all.”
Monmouth Manufacturing was soon filled with the sounds of Gansey’s hysterical laughter. After that, Ronan sought Gansey out for a repeat of that day, almost as often as Gansey sought him out. There was never a quiet day between the two again.
Gansey decided that he should be honest with his friends more often.
#tickle fic#the raven cycle#gansey#ronan lynch#richard campbell gansey iii#trc#fanfic#fanfiction#tickling#part two
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i apologize in advance because this is probably going to be a lot but i just need to get some stuff out of my brain and hopefully be able to feel a little more at peace
so...okay, to start with we got a new dog today
should be a great thing, right? but i just...i really don’t think it’s a good idea
for one thing, it’s a very young pup, he’s only 7 weeks old. for another (and this is the biggest point) i had no idea this was even happening until it was already a done deal, i got no say in the matter
and i keep being told well, that’s not a problem because it’s not like i have to take care of him but like...of course i am. how would i fucking not?
my mom works a lot and spend a good portion of the week at work and even though i’m here most of the time i‘m usually upstairs
the primary caretaker of this dog is supposed to be my father but like...so seriously how is that going to go when the man spends a good portion of the day sleeping? who’s supposed to be letting this dog go outside to go to the bathroom or making sure he’s not into something?
and like, i don’t mean to be indelicate by any means, but my dad’s old. he’s not going to suddenly get better at this point in his life, in fact it’s only going to get worse from here and i feel like it’s already started
not too long ago he completely burned a pot and nearly burned down the kitchen because he forgot he was making beans on the stove top
any more it seems like if he starts a load of laundry he just...forgets it and i have to come behind him and stick them in the dryer or sometimes just rewash them altogether because they’ve started to smell sour
there’s just a lot of stuff like that where you can tell he started doing something but went to go check on something else or just wandered off and forgot about it completely
i’m genuinely worried about his memory starting to go and we think...giving him a living creature that depends on him for survival was a good idea? i’m sorry, i just don’t see it and that means i’ll have to pick up the slack and like. okay, i’ll do it for this poor little dog that also had no say in this but needs someone to take care of him but jesus fucking christ i just wish someone had bothered to run this by me first so i could at least mentally prepare for this
mind you too i’m already taking care of two cats that also aren’t mine and were brought here without me knowing anything about it and that was also a “well, it’s not your responsibility so don’t worry about it” kind of thing and well...here we are.
and i’m already trying to help out around here more as it is because like, no shit, i appreciate getting to stay here i really do so i don’t mind but honestly a lot of what i end up doing isn’t even my own stuff, y’know?
i’m taking care of myself but i’m also trying to go behind two other people and keep things clean and make things easier for everyone else and i don’t even get a courtesy like, “hey, big new responsibility dropping, get ready for it”? i dunno
and i’ve expressed all of this and just nothing. nobody gives a shit.
and so like okay, fine fair enough you know i’d been feeling anyway like i’m really ready to just...have my own place. again, i appreciate getting to stay here and genuinely have no fucking idea how i’d afford to live on my own but i’m starting to think i just need to bite the bullet and either get a second job or see about some other potential ways to make money
the only thing about that is...there’s a big part of me that’s like, “what’s the point? how long do you think you’ll get to even have your own life anyway?”
because again like...my dad’s old. his health, although not as bad as it has been in the past couple of years is still not going to do a miraculous turn around and like...especially if his mind is starting to go what are my options, realistically?
i go off and start my own life and will just have to give it up to come back here to help take care of him
and i know you’re probably thinking, “well no, you don’t have to do that,” but don’t i?
i’m just going to make my mom deal with that all by herself? there’s no other kids but me who will help. other family might but it’s not really fair to put that on them either and on top of that because we really hit the jackpot with relatives i can’t even begin to tell you how many vultures are going to come out of the woodworks when they get even a hint that things are going bad (hell, that already started when he was going through cancer treatments during this pandemic no less and family were messaging him wanting to know if they could come and visit like...absolutely not, what the fuck are you thinking??)
and i love my mom but she doesn’t take the greatest care of herself and i don’t really want to get into it but she’s definitely started to worry me with her drinking lately.
i feel like i can’t leave here. i feel like everything will fall apart if i do and that when shit really does hit the fan i need to be here so...why bother to leave?
i want to, but can i?
i don’t feel like my life is even mine at this point
they’re not bad people, i can’t justify doing my own thing and telling them to kick rocks, especially after all they’ve done for me but at the same time i just don’t want to be stuck here forever
i just feel really, really trapped
and i know when people say that everyone gets nervous because uh-oh, that’s suicide talk!! but that’s the fucked thing too is that’s part of what feels especially suffocating
that’s not an option for me. not unless i want to hurt them as badly as possible and i don’t.
and you’d think it’s be maybe a relief to not have that as an option anymore, that oughta steer things in a more positive direction just naturally but instead it just kind of feels like someone’s trapped me in a room that’s slowly filling with water and there are no exit doors or vents or any possible means of escape so i just have to either sit here and slowly wait to drown or do what feels impossible and find some way to make all the water leave and build a better room
and obviously i should be talking about all of this with y’know, an actual therapist but that’s still proving really difficult at the moment
i made a new list of potential ones i just haven’t been able to reach out to any just yet and it definitely doesn’t help that every time i start to gear up to do it it seems like i get online and see a bunch of posts that are like, “honestly, therapy is a scam and not at all worth it and you’re stupid if you think it actually helps anyone, it’s likely to just traumatize you more and you can never trust a therapist!!” and i’m just like oh, okay then
because that’s the thing of it too like i need to talk to somebody, right? but clearly the shit i need to talk about is heavy and despite my trapped predicament like...i need to talk about these dark thoughts but is that going to get me hospitalized? is that going to fuck up my life even more?
and on top that, yeah dude, already having trust issues and being damn near incapable of letting new people into my life at all already doesn’t bode well in trying to find a person i can talk to about with all of this shit but i love the constant reminder that even getting to that point is likely going to be painful and could possibly just make shit that much worse!!!
i also just can’t stop thinking about the one therapist i did reach out to and that interaction alone has made me feel shitty enough. initially i tried to just take it in stride and figured it just wasn’t a good fit but now i’m convinced that’s how it’s going to go when i reach out to anyone else.
i’ll be made to feel like i’m stupid for needing someone to talk to because according to her “my clients have friends if they just want someone to talk to, y’know?” hahahaha no, i don’t but sure, go on!
like ma’am, no disrespect, i’m sure your methods work for someone, somewhere but i don’t think getting more sleep and walking more is going to fix the problem and on that subject...i don’t have friends
i have a friend and that’s about it
when i say i have trouble letting people into my life i really mean it
and yeah, maybe i’m just being a big baby about it all and i just need to like...try to make that happen anyway but i’m also at this point where it’s like...how?
actually how?
at my age?? finding friends??
on top of that just...i’ve been through my share of toxic friendships and although i’d like to think i’ve learned a lot since then and would hopefully never find myself in any again you never really know until you get into it, right? and just the thought of it, of putting myself out there, opening up, being vulnerable and just...letting people into my life only to possibly go through more shit it just sounds exhausting and terrifying.
i know it’s what i need to do, i know i can’t just close myself off from the world and essentially cease to exist while still being here but it just feels so fucking overwhelming and then on top of that like i said before, is there even a point?
because it kind of seems like i’m going to be needed here indefinitely and so is that just my life then? i’m just a loser who never leaves her hometown, never moves out, never has a life of her own or expands her circle to include more people because she just has to stay here and watch over things and take care of everyone and all the added responsibilities they keep bringing into this house without even running it by me first?
it feels like it and maybe it doesn’t have to be but it feels like it
and it just feels really, really suffocating
and hopeless
and maybe it’s not really, maybe i’m missing something here but i feel like i can see down the road for many, many miles and it doesn’t look promising
and i feel selfish and horrible for even saying all of this because it sounds like i’m just pissed off i have to take care of things and it’s really not that
i genuinely don’t mind helping out and maintaining a space and i don’t even really mind cleaning all that much, it can be a good stress relief i’ve found but it’s just this overwhelming feeling i have of like...this is my life. this is all it’s ever going to be.
i’m going to sit here and watch everyone else go on and live their lives, have lots of friends and romance and really just experience life and i’m just going to be sitting here left in the dust at home chasing after pets and trying to keep everything from falling apart until the bottom does inevitably fall out so i can be here to pick up the pieces just like i did last time
and i mean if that’s the case then i’ll make peace with it, i just wish it could be different i guess. if nothing else, i wish i didn’t have this urge to change things or to have a different life because it just doesn’t feel possible right now. feels very much like if i step away even for a second that everything’s going to go wrong and i’ll be partially to blame because if i had been here maybe things would be different
then again, the last time something tragic happened and i lost someone i loved very much i was here and it didn’t make a damn difference so maybe my presence isn’t as important as i think but i guess that’s part of it too like...that happened on my watch and if something else bad happens when i’m not here... i’m barely living with the first shit, i don’t know if i could handle the second
idk. this is really stupid i think but it’s been in my head for a while now and with this new dog thing i’m just kind of at my breaking point with it so here you go, void.
hopefully i’ll be able to talk myself into getting a therapist anyway even though i’m scared to death because i know i shouldn’t be putting this here but right now i just feel incredibly stuck and i’m not sure what to do or where to go
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A Lipless Face That I Want to Marry, Ch. 9
<- Chapter 8 | Chapter 10 ->
Summary: Your POV on what you’ve been up to since the breakup
1,915 words
The first week you just cried, and slept.
I shouldn’t have said that, you thought the minute you reached the hospital parking garage. You started to shake as you sank into the driver’s seat. Did that really happen? Then the tears started coming, and didn’t stop.
You crawled into the massive bed that you and Frederick used to share, that had been too big and empty and cold for too long, pulled the covers over your head, cuddled into the spot that used to smell like him, and slept. You slept as though you hadn’t slept in years. You slept until the gnawing in your stomach became too painful to ignore and you had to eat.
There was a picture of you together up on a shelf near the kitchen. Frederick looked so handsome—the scar on his cheek was barely noticeable, and he had that fake, smarmy smile he always put on for cameras. Still, because you were standing next to him with your arm around his back, there was a genuine crinkle in the corners of his eyes that wasn’t there for press photos. You almost smashed it, but you carefully placed it back where it belonged, and smashed a vase instead. Then you lay back in bed again, and slept and cried some more.
You cried so hard you felt sick. Then you did get sick. Work called when you were late, and you said you had the flu, which they believed by the hoarse croak of your voice, though it was more like every toxic pound of stress you’d been holding in for the past month was pouring out of you as in some ancient blood-letting ritual. Your body had been operating beyond its limits, physically and emotionally, for too long, and now everything was crashing.
What would he do if you just didn’t leave? As you stubbornly lay there sweating feverishly and refusing to move, you wondered how long you had before he would even check. He didn’t give you a deadline, just an order to get out. He wouldn’t be so cruel as to kick you out of your own house, would he? Where were you supposed to go?
You opened your laptop and searched for housing in Baltimore, and your head spun. Tiny, ugly apartments that you could barely afford. Maybe you could take that promotion you’d been avoiding because it would require too much travel. Nothing was tying you here anymore—no reason not to travel halfway across the country for weeks at a time. You were free now.
You shut the computer and pulled the blanket back over your head, shaking.
Part of the reason you couldn’t get out of bed was the ocean of sadness you were crushed beneath, which made it difficult to breathe and impossible to want to do anything. The other part was that, in truth, you needed it. You’d been spending so many nights lying awake worrying about whether your fiancé was going to die, waking up so many mornings at the crack of dawn just to see him before work, then going straight from work to the hospital without a break, you’d been on the verge of collapse.
When you finally emerged from the bedroom after a solid week of sleep, your head was clear, and the dark circles living under your eyes had gone.
Finally, you could think straight enough to be truly angry.
Frederick said a lot of things that he didn’t truly mean—rude things, patronizing, demeaning, even cruel. Not just since being hospitalized. He always seemed to make up for it somehow, to the point where you saw it as a cute quirk, and you always forgave him, even when he didn’t say sorry. This may have been one of those times. But he didn’t call to apologize. He didn’t call to check on you. To see if you were OK.
If he didn’t mean it this time, then he didn’t care about you. And you wondered why you ever put up with his bullshit.
Another day went by, and you looked at the picture up on the shelf. How genuinely happy you looked standing next to him and his fake smile and perfect hair, because you saw something in him beyond what the rest of the world could see. You saw the tenderness he safeguarded beneath the pompous mask. The real smile beneath his fake one. Everyone thought he was a patronizing ass, and he could be, but he craved your affection desperately and would go farther than anyone you’d ever known just to show how much he cared.
Everything was different now. He had no way to pompously preen, stuck in hospital robes with nary a tie pin to be seen, and removing his means of vanity had also eviscerated the secret kindness that went with it. The Frederick you knew was gone, and he would ever come back. Not the same as he was. He was too scarred.
The psychological scars were far more frightening than the ones on the outside. Once he was healed and no longer in pain, you wouldn’t mind those. You imagined him wearing a fine suit looking dashingly sinister with his exposed teeth, like a Batman villain. It sent a flush of heat between your legs just picturing it. But apparently that made you a shitty person—you remembered Frederick’s accusations and crossed your arms over your chest, hugging yourself. He wouldn’t be happy until you turned your nose up at him in disgust! Except that would make him miserable, too!
Why the fuck hadn’t he at least called? You wondered if he really did mean it this time.
Days went by. You returned to work and found yourself much more productive than you had been with all the extra sleep, though your stress was getting worse by the day. He still hadn’t called. At this point, you figured he was waiting for you to do it, but you were so tired of being the bigger person. Your entire relationship, you had to be the bigger person. In three years, you could count on one hand the number of times the word “sorry” came out of his mouth. Maybe two hands.
He never said the words, but you would come home to find a gourmet meal being served to you by candlelight. Or rose petals in the bathtub. Sometimes it was just a slow, tender kiss with his thumb brushing against your cheek. Or he would tease every erogenous zone on your body with his feisty tongue until you were shaking with overstimulation.
Now that you thought about it, neither of you were particularly skilled at verbal affection. You were both abrasive and quick with insults, and when you first met, you were like dueling cats yowling and hissing around a trashcan.
How had you managed to win his prickly heart when most of your “conversations” had been arguments? Because you started fucking each other. From that moment, however outwardly you pretended to loathe each other, you were both so cuddly you could hardly bear being separated. No matter what stupid, infuriating jeers he made during the day, you always wanted to wake up in the morning tucked under his arm, your face buried in a chest full of soft brown hair, smelling his intoxicating musk and day-old cologne. Even when you gave up being nemeses, touch was your first love-language. Laying his head in your lap while you read a book. His hand on the small of your back keeping you close at a big event. Combing your fingers through his thick hair. For every sarcastic little snipe, there was a gentle kiss to set everything right.
You couldn’t touch him. For over a month, his skin was too raw to be touched, and for over a month, all you’d had for physical contact was the slightest pressure over thick gauze—and even that was enough to make him wince.
Frederick was changed forever, and he was an asshole. But things might not have been as hopeless or forever-altered as you feared. Not being able to touch (combined with excruciating pain and trauma) had thrown your relationship out of balance, and that was a temporary problem.
Fuck it. You’d be the goddamn bigger person. Considering how much he’d suffered in one lifetime, he could have a free pass on being a dick. You may have said a few… inconsiderate things yourself.
The only thing you were afraid of was that he really did want you out of his life forever. Though you’d made up your mind you were going to see him and try to put things back together, the dread that your visit would only confirm once and for all that things were over made you put off the trip for another two days.
***
Your feet knew every turn and corridor to get to Frederick’s room so well by now, they could bring you there by muscle memory alone, dodging around busy doctors and nurses on autopilot. You slowed down and hesitated as you approached the door to his recovery room, holding your chest to quell the throbbing.
He might not want to see you. If his eyes met you with a scowl, your heart would break in two right there.
Stealthily, you tip-toed up to the door so your shoes wouldn’t make audible approaching footsteps, and you peeked in the little rectangular window. A curly-haired nurse was helping him lift his arms, stretching upward as high as he could manage. He gasped out little curses of pain until she released, and he sighed with relief.
“Good job today, Fred. We’ll work on that a few times a day for now, and then we’ll build on it, OK?” She patted his shoulder.
Oh, she’s in trouble, you grinned with schadenfreude, waiting for him to go nuclear at her for calling him “Fred.” But the explosion never came.
“Thank you, Pamela,” he smiled.
Flipping over to press your back against the wall, you clutched your chest tighter. He knew her name? He didn’t even know the names of half the nurses on his own staff! He used to pretend to forget yours, long after it wasn’t funny.
Worst of all, he looked happy.
He was happy without you. The smile he gave her was brighter than you’d seen him look at you in ages. You thought he would be agonizing over the breakup, but he was doing better since you were gone. You calmed your breathing, and poked your head over the lip of the window again. Now she was leaning down, and he was hugging her. Your throat started to close, and the backs of your eyes burned. It felt like the time you were in first grade when you fell off the playground monkey bars and landed flat on your back. All the wind had been knocked out of your lungs and you couldn’t breathe—you lay on the woodchips in a daze of confusion, mouth gaping like a fish, unable to comprehend why you couldn’t draw in air, and certain you were going to die.
Before you broke down in the middle of the hall, you turned to go home. No, not home, you corrected yourself. Not anymore.
• ● • ━━━━━─ ••●•• ─━━━━━ • ● •
Tags: @beccabarba / @caked-crusader / @itsjustmyfantasyroom / @thatesqcrush / @dianilaws / @permanentlydizzy / @mrsrafaelbarba / @da-po
#Frederick Chilton x reader#frederick chilton#Raúl Esparza#hannibal#post-canon#ANGST#I was going to make this one a little happier then I didn't#oopsie#Please lmk if you want to be on my tags list even tho tumblr doesn't notify you anyway half the time XD
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Alright dumbasses here we fuckin go
I am literally writing this directly on my tumblr so shhhhh it’s fine. this is for @cephuss because they’re the only person i’ve gotten a prompt from.
I am literally begging you to send more I want to contribute to the fandom <3
Also, please put them under where it says to give me prompts. I did not specify before but I just figured that this would be easier to keep them together :D
BkDk - Izuku’s dad comes back during first year and isn’t nice. Erasermic adopts Izuku.
Izuku openly sobs once they’re all back at the station. Kacchan is safe now. He’s here. He’s not with the League. Not with him.
He’s still clinging to his childhood friend and bully like a lifeline when he has to talk to Tsukauchi. He’s shocked that the explosive boy hasn’t tried to pry him off yet, but he doesn’t question it, too afraid to ruin the little bit of peace they have right now. It’s going to be okay now. It has to be.
At least, it would be if Izuku didn’t see the look of recognition in All for One’s eyes.
When All Might all but passes the torch onto Izuku on live television, he nearly faints.
“C’mon Deku, we’re going home.” Katsuki grumbles as he sees the short boy begin to pale.
“R-Right. Coming Kacchan.” Izuku answers, trying his hardest to regain the breath that scene stole from him. Trying being the keyword. He fails.
He doesn’t answer Katsuki’s solemn goodbye as they part ways on their journeys home. He doesn’t dare speak. Not when Izuku and his mother know what’s going to happen. Not when everything feels so unbelievably hopeless.
~
Izuku wakes up and knows something’s off. He quietly tries to grab his phone and two hoodies before he plans his escape, but halfway to his closet, the door creaks open and All for One himself looks his way.
“Hello, son.” All for one says. His voice makes Izuku want to hide, but the boy knows that this isn’t an option.
“Where’s mom.” Izuku fires, never once does his own wellbeing come to mind.
“Inko? Don’t worry about her. She was means to an end anyway. While you weren’t supposed to exist, I can’t help but thank her for not getting rid of you. After all, you’re why I’m here.”
Izuku flinches at the notion and tries to push his voice out once more, firmer this time.
“Where is my mother.” He demands once more.
“I think you know where your mother is. Don’t worry though, you’ll be joining her soon. Tomura.” All for One steps to the side, revealing his apprentice, who launches himself at Izuku.
Activating One for All, Izuku jumps, the ceiling and roof giving at the force and allowing him through. He stands on the roof, looking around wildly for an escape route. He has to get out of there.
As if on cue the place goes up in flames.
“No!” Izuku cries, jumping to another roof, his hands and legs shaking with fear. He has to use this adrenaline to get somewhere safe. He has to find out for sure if his mom is-
Izuku starts to sprint toward UA, but stops shortly after.
Pressing the call button, Isuku hopes he pressed the right number because he doesn’t have another shot at this. He doesn’t know if he’ll make it to UA in time. Hell, someone could be waiting for him to run there, couldn’t they? What about all of the people and houses in between here and there? He can’t stray too far from the villains, he decides, keep people safe.
A knife nicking his cheek is enough of a clue as ever that he should start to move again.
“Hello? How are you Midoriya, my boy?” All might’s voice comes through the speaker just as another knife comes flying.
“Toga! Don’t bloody him up too much, we need him alive!” Shigaraki’s voice bellows.
“Young Midoriya?” All Might. Right.
“All for One... Mom... Help!” Izuku cries, out of breath. He can’t focus on the call for obvious reasons, and hangs up before throwing his phone away, hearing it shatter. No time to worry about it now.
~
The bell rings and Katsuki stiffens. He’s not here. He’s never just not here. The little shit would come to school half-dead. He has! So where the hell is he?
“Well, I guess this is everyone today. Has anyone seen Midoriya? Avoiding class will not mean avoiding the punishment you are recieving for directly disobeying what I told you. Not that that surprised me...” Aizawa mutters. As if on cue, a knock at the door calls Aizawa out of the classroom. Bakugo stands and walks toward the door as well.
“Bakubro, where are you going?” Kirishima asks, confused as to why the blonde stood.
“Something’s wrong.” He says, letting the door close behind him.
“Bakugo, go back to your seat.” Aizawa mutters, rubbing hi forehead in annoyance.
“Not until one of you explains where Deku is. He doesn’t miss class unless he can’t get here. Something’s wrong.”
“Very observant Young Bakugo. I was just going to talk with Aizawa about that, actually. I recieved a call from Young Midoriya this morning and it was odd. It was also grounds for concern and seeing as I can no longer do hero work... His father is after him.”
Explosions spark in Bakugo’s palms.
“WHAT? That piece if shit?! I’ll kill him!” This seems to shock All Might more than it should. He visibly flinches.
“Y-You know who his father is?” All might asks, barely able to keep his voice even.
“I don’t need to know who he is to know that he’s a piece of shit that fucking left Auntie and Deku the second he was born!” Bakugo counters, glaring daggers at both teachers who he assumes will stand in his way.
“Young Bakugo, there’s something else that I believe both of you should know. Izuku’s father is very well known in the underworld, you see. He’s got enough connections to essentially make the boy ‘disappear’.” All Might says, trying to stress the importance the previous phrase had.
“So who is he?” Eraserhead asks. His voice betrays nothing but if you pay attention you can see that he’s just about ready to just go get Izuku himself.
“All for One.”
~
Izuku manages to barely dodge the wall of blue flame headed his way, pressing himself up against the alley wall. He’s almost out of options. He hopes someone comes for him soon because if they don’t then it’s going to be very bad.
“I hear you mumbling, brat.” Dabi’s voice nearly growls. Not a second later, he’s holding Izuku against the wall by the collar of his shirt. He struggles for breath, kicking wildly and thrashing around with as much force as he can muster in his exhausted state.
“Let him go, Dabi.” A familiar voice sighs. Izuku looks over and is immediately filled with relief as he sees his homeroom teacher.
Dabi smirks, an idea forming in his head if Izuku observes correctly.
“What, you’ll save him? You’ll save the kid of the top villain but you won’t help the children in Endeavor’s house?” He asks, not letting Izuku go just yet.
This makes Eraserhead stop in his tracks.
“What do you know about Touya’s case?” Eraserhead snarls.
“Enough to know that you couldn’t save him Eraserhead.” Dabi returns before chucking Izuku like a doll towards the undergroud hero.
“Just this once, I’ll let him go. But only because he’s not the one I have beef with.” Dabi says as he stalks off down the alleyway before turning the corner and disappearing.
Aizawa reaches out with his capture-weapon and catches the boy, but by the time he’s in the hero’s arms he’s passed out. Just what was this kid doing?
~
“What do you mean his father is All for One?” Aizawa snarls, just about ready to throw the skinny man out of a window.
“I mean that his father is All for One, Aizawa. His father is also after him right now. Young Midoriya needs help and he can’t run forever.”
Bakugo stands there in shock. He... That monster is after Deku?
That monster is his father?!
FUCK!
“Language, Bakugo.” All Might scolds as Aizawa wastes no time taking off after the green haired boy.
“The idiot knew he’d be after him, so why did he go home alone last night?! Fucker was muttering about his father the entire way home and I didn’t- FUCK! I need to go after him.” Bakugo says finally, taking a step to follow Aizawa before All Might grabs him, stopping him.
“Young Bakugo, I understand your concern, but we just got you back. You of all people are not leaving this building.” All Might says solemnly.
“Shitty nerd better be alright or I’ll kill him myself.” Bakugo snarls.
~
When Aizawa finally returns to the classroom, the students are on him immediately. Some of them apparently saw some footage of Izuku being hunted down by the League of Villains and are extremely worried for their classmate.
“Is he okay?!”
“He shattered his left leg. I don’t know how he was walking.” Aizawa says. He’s not focused on the other students at the moment, however. He’s focused on how the hell Izuku managed to somehow leave out that All for One is his father.
“His house was on fire too! Is his mom okay? He’ll be devastated if anything happens to her!” Uraraka cries out. The rest of the class voices their agreements.
“I don’t know. I haven’t seen Ms. Midoriya. Don’t ask Midoriya about it though, he’s having a rough time.” Aizawa answers truthfully. He then begins to wonder where the woman is and if she’s dead or alive.
“How is he, Sensei?” Bakugo asks. The room starts to quiet down before decending into chaos once more. Bakugo is showing concern? For Izuku? This must be bad.
“He passed out as soon as I found him. He’s exhausted and hasn’t eaten or drank anything since lunch yesterday. My guess is that he woke up and had to take off.” Aizawa explains simply.
The blonde looks like he might actually kill someone.
This is going to be interesting.
~
The last bell rings and Katsuki all but sprints out of the room. He’s fuming. These assholes had the audacity to hurt Deku. To hunt him down for hours. What the fuck.
“DEKU!” Katsuki roars as he pushes the doors to the infirmary open with a slam.
“Kacchan!” Said boy yelps, scrambling to sit up.
“No- Shit! Don’t move. You need to rest and all that shit. I just came to make sure you weren’t dead.”
Katsuki hates that Deku coos at him for being concerned. Of course he’s concerned, damnit!
It’s quiet. Neither of them know what to say to the other, seeing as they haven’t had a real conversation in years.
“How long have you known?”
“What?” Deku answers, confused.
“How long have you known that he’s your father, Deku. Why did you come after me if you knew?” Katsuki asks, flinching at the roughness his voice displays. Izuku humms, thinking. Then he speaks.
“I’ve always known.” He says simply.
“And All Might? How long has he known that you’re the son of his arch nemesis?”
This makes Izuku flinch. The nerd has the audacity to twiddle his thumbs anxiously. He looks up and back at his lap, embarrassed. Good.
“I- He told me I looked like him. That he can see my father in the way my hair curls and- So I guess he’s known for a while now too, huh?” Deku responds, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. Katsuki stands up, turning to leave without a word.
“Wha...? K-Kacchan! Where are you going?” Deku asks, panic filling his voice. The blonde turns, shooting Deku a sad look. He really doesn’t want to leave, but he knows Recovery Girl wants the idiot to rest and not talk all night.
“Go to sleep, Nerd. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
With that, he’s gone.
~
He doesn’t come back to the infirmary to visit Izuku. He barely even acknowledges Izuku’s existence.
Until they fight at Ground Beta.
It’s blood and sweat and tears and lots of just beating the shit out of eachother but both of them come out of it better than they went in.
~
It’s been months since the incident and Shota Aizawa (the absolute sap that the man is) decided that he and Mic were going to take in the problem child. Izuku is happy. He misses his mom like crazy, but he’s happy. The thing that took him from how far he came right back to the beginning though was when Aizawa came home one night from patrol. He’d been searching for Izuku’s mother since the day he was atttacked and hasn’t had any luck. He got a call that solidified what he already suspected.
That night, he and Hizashi sat Izuku down and the boy was an anxious mess while he wondered just what his guardians wanted to tell him. They even let Bakugo come over to comfort their little green bean.
“Izuku... Your mom is dead.”
#bkdk#bakudeku#erasermic#dadzawa#katsuki bakugou#izuku midoriya#bakugou katsuki#midoriya izuku#aizawa shouta#shouta aizawa#yamada hizashi#hizashi yamada#Dad for One#angst#I hate myself but here we go
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Prompt 14: Commend
Esredes liked to consider himself someone who could break the world down into things that made sense, or at least identify where they did not.
Everything had to fit neatly into preexisting pieces. This is how one thing operated, this was how another functioned and went. People often defied this in various ways- in romance, especially, for one, throwing themselves at the worst possible matches and declaring it love, or in various other areas that should require logical thinking, and instead he watched everyone flounder.
Esredes himself tried to make sense too, and he liked to think he made perfect sense until a giant wrench was thrown into his entire life, multiple times. An ordinary noble man serving his duty as a Temple Knight, there was nothing to misunderstand. He would fight and die for his city, and that was all there was to it. He wouldn’t leave behind things undone in a trail of misery, it would all wrap up in a neat little bow and be laid into the ground, for he wasn’t composed like a civilian with more to offer.
A soldier that wasn’t a real person, through and gone. Simple.
And then he was a harrier, and then he was a citizen again, and if things hadn’t stopped making sense before, they absolutely did by the time he regained legal person status. Now everyone wanted different things out of him.
During the war, he had at least been exactly as he was before- a soldier, designed to die on the battlefield. Even if his halves got muddled and mixed into a pool of confusion at times, he had that.
But being forced to accept a civilian role left him lost. People told him so many different things, more than usual.
“You should be allowed to live your life. You’re a real person, Esredes. You deserve happiness.” Put together, that was the summary of what everyone said- he should try to be a real person now. Ever a skeptic, this did not make sense to Esredes. People weren’t simply born with the capacity to become true people- they either were or were not. He had felt that emptiness inside him for all of his life, and everyone else had noticed he wasn’t real too. You could tell in the way people looked at and responded to you, that they noticed something was missing, no matter how much you tried to shapeshift around it. The insults were just one of many parts of it- stick in the mud or up somewhere specific, no fun, boring, filthy traitor, bastard, disgusting, brat, idiot, snake, manipulative, untrustworthy, and the ever present times heretic was used as an insult, that was just every day, something to absorb to prevent a real person from taking it.
Hm, Esredes thought to himself. No, he didn’t believe what all these people said, but perhaps if only to see if there was a chance in hell of their idea being logical, he considered their arguments, and tried testing them through shapeshifting.
“You’re not a monster,” people often told him when he tried to say the obvious. “You’re just someone who fought for what was right and made the hard choices.” Those he loved most would tell him in soft tones how much he meant to them and how he was capable of so much more than he thought. “Please, Esredes. Live for yourself.”
How would that ever be possible? He went out every day and people were immediately hostile, even if they didn’t know anything about who he was. They did not see a real person when they looked upon him, and he couldn’t magically make himself one, not like this.
Strange things did happen, that was true. Like Heilyn. Heilyn was a useless bastard who hated him for being a heretic who actually did something. There was no convincing Heilyn otherwise- how could he after he had manipulated his son into helping him?
Except Esredes kept forgetting Heilyn was one of those people who never made sense.
"I just don't understand why we can't just both give each other more of a chance.” Heilyn had told him during those first couple weeks of them being stuck together in the same job, with Esredes trying to torment him into quitting. “That goes for both sides. I was an ass in the past sure, but... doesn't wanting to make up for that count for something?"
"You want to make up for it?" Esredes asked back with an eyebrow raise. "What motivation would you have for that besides that you're forced to now that you can't get rid of me?"
"Trying to be a better person? Right my wrongs? I actually care? All of the above?"
Esredes’ brow raised up even further. “You actually care about what.”
“You, this, all of it?” Heilyn spoke as if this was supposed to be obvious. “Is there something wrong with that?”
“…Yes? That doesn’t make any sense.” God, why did this broken stupid tall man constantly fail to have any form of sense? It frustrated him to no end.
“Explain which part doesn’t make sense and I’ll gladly explain it to you.”
"You claiming you care about me. I don't get it. Are you really suggesting that you give any ounce of a shit about the man you've put a dagger to, insulted relentlessly, know berated your son, and sold your soul to as your last ditch way out? Because that... is just straight up lying to yourself to make this situation more tolerable. Even I know you better than that."
"And if I'm not lying? What then Esredes? I... learned a thing or two from Alastor. Changed my mind a little. Thus, I want to make up for past things said. Its that simple."
Esredes just stared at Heilyn for a moment. "...Nope. That still makes the least amount of sense possible."
Heilyn shook his head. “Did I... not phrase that right? I thought I was finally getting better at my shitty phrasing."
"I... I don't even know. Phrasing or not, that just doesn't make sense."
"I'm... pretty sure I spoke plainly? I've been told I don't make sense often because I don't do that. Or... wait. Do you just not believe it at all?"
"No I don't believe it all. What reason would I have to? You already know how horrible I am."
"I learned? I listened? Perceptions can change feelings you know."
"What the hell are you talking about. We didn't speak between you asking me for help and now. And in that time, you've seen and heard nothing except me insulting you. You still believe me to be the devil you sold your soul to willingly." Because Heilyn could be nothing but a fucking idiot.
"Alastor didn't," Heilyn replied plainly as he looked across the table at Esredes’ eyes with conviction. "He didn't and told me all that he could about you. Insisting I shouldn't hate. So I listened, and I learned, and my perception changed."
Still, he didn’t want to get it. A few days later and Esredes was bringing up the same thing. "So. You claim to have changed your mind... after Alastor told you. Which must have been after it happened. And yet, you still acknowledged me as only a devil when you sold yourself to me. You were only using me as a way out. So, I still don't really have, any sort of reason to believe you. And so I suppose that is my question. Why, Heilyn? Why does nothing about you ever make any sense? Why is it that you think in such an incomprehensibly impulsive way that I have no hope of understanding? How are you supposed to work, really? Is there any method to the madness, to how you just flounder and scream in your own head? This is a genuine question, I assure you."
Heilyn was silent for a good few moments before he finally sighed and spoke. "So, the answer is probably going to piss you off, but when we met before taking on that bitch, that was the longest period of time I'd spent in this area in ages. I was under a shitton of stress, and on top of that the song was just raging like hell in my ears. I hardly had clarity until the first time Alastor helped kill that monster. Then there was just a bit of sweet relief to ease the mind. Bottom line? I was stressed, and just pissed that nothing was going right all the while just making sure that my stupid son who got accused of murder was okay. The plan wasn't even to come back here until I heard that he had no place to go that was safe aside from my family's manor. Figured he was lost, scared, and needed me, so I took the risks and paid the prices."
"Yeah. Yeah, you did. But that still doesn't answer part of the question. Do you understand why it's extremely hard to believe your claims from the other day?"
"Oh yeah, I totally understand. My mind... was- is like a storm some days. And I'm like a little boat just trying to make it through. Find the eye of the storm, or have someone guide the boat to it. Alastor told me things, and that started getting me to that place. seeing you again though, while my mind was clear, I think that's when it clicked in a hundred percent on the things he said." And when Esredes asked him to elaborate, he continued on. “Well, one, I can't see Ferrant asking for your help unless he was damned sure you meant no ill will. that meant you were strictly here to help make this city better for heretics and shit post-war, right? Second, they wouldn't even let you in the city if you were as awful as I'd thought you at first. Third..." Heilyn hesitated. "You looked lost. Very lost. A little flicker in your eyes that didn't look at all like before. And I've known that kind of pain all too well myself, so I recognize it quickly. Couldn't hate after seeing that in the slightest."
“When the hell did I look lost?”
"Its not... a physical look. More like... a feeling you get? When you look at that person? Like... there's something important missing from their very spirit. That sort of thing."
"I've always had a lot missing from my spirit. That's nothing new. And certainly not something worth deeming me unhateable."
"Then take the rest of it as my answer if you don't want to take that part."
"Well at that point, all you're going off of is evidential assumptions. And here's the problem with your logic. If it's based off assumptions, then it breaks apart the moment you're wrong about anything. Therefore you don't actually care, do you? You just want to know something isn't dangerous and going to stab you."
Heilyn tilted his head. "Look, you didn't use my Nidhogg notes against me, you were willing to compromise and use the notes system, you realy honestly haven't done anything so far to make me actually think you're too much of a bastard. I'm willing to trust you unless you prove otherwise and frankly? I don't believe you will. You’re fine, in my book at this point.”
Still, the conversation went on and on and on. “You have no evidence I’ve changed. What reason do you have to forgive anything? How am I not that shitty given everything else? I don’t believe I meet your definition of not dangerous, you know what I am capable of.” Thing after thing Esredes threw out, forcing Heilyn to continuously keep trying to explain himself, and yet somehow by the end of the conversation, they had come out being nice to one another.
Still, Heilyn was an exception who defied logic. It didn’t matter that Alastor took his apology and said he believed he was good with little effort, or that Yulionne saw the best in him despite what happened, that Ferrant believed wholeheartedly in him, that Murielle’s adopted son of all people came to him and asked if they could talk about everything they had to discuss civilly, that the very man who betrayed him and sold him out as a heretic came around to apologize, or that some people immediately saw him as a heroic or positive figure, included but not limited to an atoning shiny and green celebrity performer, a Garlean defector who Esredes had originally insulted, the one member of the Temple Knight Company that all hated Esredes who for some reason treated him like a real person, and a High Inquisitor of all things who praised him for his independent service before asking it of him.
The fact still remained he was an empty being, and why had the world ceased to make sense so much people kept trying to defy that? Of course his loved ones wanted to insist on a false narrative because they cared about him, but why did all these other people want to tell him so much of why they saw good in him?
Ah, that swirling red fog was annoying to see through. You are, you aren’t. He would continue to watch the most unlikely people come to see what he wanted them to, the others see right what he knew was true, and unknown to himself, he had ceased to make just as much sense as the people around him.
I want to know what it’s like to live.
I am delaying the inevitable. When will it finally come?
I’m a monster.
I’m not a monster, can’t you look around you and see how many worse people are right there? I merely did what was right, and you are assigning more blame to it because it’s not your side.
You shouldn’t be around me.
You can trust me, I’m here to help you.
I’m still not a real person, was the one thing that remained when the various voices came and passed. As he hyperfocused and leeched on to the next person to come along and give him praise to fill that incessant hunger in that never ending cycle, he certainly must be at peace with it.
The world had stopped making sense. He had stopped making sense. And while Esredes could not fully give up his nature of trying to make sense of things, he ultimately decided to exist in a nebula, for now. Wind blew past him, and dubiety persisted like an old friend, wrapping itself all around the man with a whisper of I told you so.
—-
@thecalmnessandthestorms / @heartofthefury Heilyn, Alastor, Ferrant, Murielle, Trystan (unnamed mention), Raulin (unnamed mention)
@eternal-finis Yulionne
Zenith Alphinoix (unnamed mention)
Fern Cinnieux (unnamed mention)
@emeraldeorzean Kalas (unnamed mention)
Forte Tertia (unnamed mention)
#writing#in action#ffxivwrite2021#heilyn#alastor#ferrant#trystan#kalas#tertia#murielle#yulionne#alphinoix#cinnieux#raulin#screenshots#fancy coat attire
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