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this-is-a-podcast-fanblog · 1 year

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Young Cecil doing his homework with no help and walking past his mom’s half-open door hoping she doesn’t hear him sneaking out and doodling things like “CGP + EH” in his notebook (crossed out) and turning in permission slips at school that the teachers reject because they’re all signed by his big sister and feeling a shiver down his spine whenever he sees a too-tall tree and stealing makeup from drug stores but popping out the mirrors first and falling asleep to the radio and stacking cassette tapes next to his mattress because he never got a frame for his bed and leaving out bowls of water for stray cats and chasing the mice out of his room and learning Torah verses even though he knows no one other than Abby will come to his Bar Mitzvah and crying himself to sleep at night but making up stories in the morning about the citizens he’s seen around town and bumping into Josie at the supermarket where she offers to drive him to the bowling alley and bringing his mom mother’s day flowers even though he’ll be the one who puts them in water, plucks away the dead leaves, throws them away while she watches with blank eyes and when he stares at the loud sunrise he feels an ache in his chest he can’t explain yet and hating that Abby can get a summer job but he’s not old enough yet, it’s starting to feel like decades have passed and he’s still not old enough, and failing his practice SATs because he had to teach himself all those big words and dying in front of a broken mirror and looking at a mirror with broken shards that’s still intact and being a beautiful person in spite of everything and dragging his boy scout recorder into a blanket fort to record cassette tapes about how one day things will be better, one day things will be better, one day things will be better.

#young cecil #cecil gershwin palmer #neglect is a horrible form of abuse #im so sorry to anyone who like cecil went through that #tw childhood neglect #tw childhood trauma #cecil's trauma isn't explored much in the show but it feels so present sometimes #young cecil is dead long live young cecil #wtnv

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angelsdean · 9 months

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a very specific headcanon i have that i've just written into one of my longer wips (so you won't see the scene for an age) is that john is kinda a dick abt food and dean's eating habits. and he's just. so oblivious to the amount that his kids are suffering when he's gone. because dean sure as hell is not gonna bring up how the money is never enough, how they're near starving toward the end of some weeks. how they've relied on charity more than once. so when john comes back and gets them big full meals and dean especially practically inhales his food (bc he's hungrier, bc he's given more of his portions to sammy) john chides him to slow down, it'll make himself sick etc etc. but dean struggles. and he's always SO eager for burgers and pie and carb-y filling things. because he's starving. but he gets a reputation for "eating junk." john teases him for it. or berates him for it when he's feeling especially mean. when dean's older, stanford era, and they meet up for a hunt and get lunch dean still digs into his food a little too quickly, he asks the waitress for pie with a little too much gusto, and john shakes his head, laughing, saying it's a good thing dean's a hunter, it's a good thing he's got the grueling work to keep him fit or else all those burgers and pies would've definitely caught up to him by now. laughs at how dean still eats too fast, "you've done that since you were a kid. never grew out of it, huh?" and dean bites his cheek, bites back a remark about why he always ate so fast, why he's still always squirreling away food and jumping at every "free food" "free samples" opportunity even now when money is easier to come by

#reading stonelions' if only maybe and then yesterday reminded me of this specific headcanon #i don't know what to tag this but i feel i need to put some tw's #so ask to tag if i missed something #tw food insecurity #tw food issues #tw childhood neglect #tw body shaming #fuck john winchester #young dean

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loveyourlovelysoul · 1 year

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All the times you were told by your equally wounded caregiver to not dream too far, that something (eg. even a toy or game table) was just useless so you shouldn't buy it, that you were obliged to say no to something your soul was calling for, all those different situations are still inside of you. And they are often playing with your mind, hindering you, caging you, blocking you unconsciously from moving towards anything you really want. Not letting you see your real worth, not letting you try for something better, different, for anything you really desire. Please, don't let this mental pattern block you. Free yourself. Believe you can try and have what you desire. You are deserving at least a try, no matter how things will go. Stay hopeful, stay positive, and keep believing in yourself and how much you deserve. Do not let the past or someone else's pain hinder you. You deserve much more. And you surely deserve accolades for making it to today despite it all.

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bunnystalker · 4 months

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Wesker surviving RE5. Taking a good while to recover. When he final tracks Chris many years later he sees a young woman with Chris. Obviously not Chris' wife.

Chris got a daughter. And Wesker knows how to truely break him now.

Poor girl, she gets hit on by a super hot dude not knowing that he is her dads biggest enemy

listen... this would go fucking crazy... 18+

cw; afab!reader, creep!wesker, reader is 21-ish and wesker is... *gulps*... 61, dad!chris isn't the best dad, i'm projecting big time with this one guys sorry, takes place circa re8, reader is in college, no use of y/n, chris is the kind of alcoholic dad that you don't want your boyfriend to meet because you are, in fact, embarrassed of him, wesker drives a lincoln mkz zephyr.

you look like your dad but prettier. softer, sweeter features than your father's own. your eyes are paralyzingly innocent, and he can't help himself when he lays eyes on you. you're younger than albert by a concerning amount of years, but thanks to your dad's unintentional neglect during your childhood, you've got some issues.

your father never told you about wesker- or anything relating to his line of work. how foolish of chris to not take such precautions with his daughter. you never bothered to ask, either, as you felt some sort of resentment towards your dad in your teenage years. everything he did pissed you off, especially when he was trying to bond. so of course you decided to date someone just as old, if not older than your dad, just to piss him off in return.

that's when you stumbled across wesker. he was handsome for his age, though he looks much younger and you're not sure why. the sunglasses thing confused you, though he'd told you once when you had first started talking that he has light-sensitive eyes. you, being so trusting of this nice, older man who made you feel wanted, believed him and every little thing he ever told you. he'd make you feel so warm inside, and it didn't take long for you to fall for him.

he'd made a show of falling for you, too, to keep you under his thumb. you were the type to flee at the first sign of abandonment; he couldn't have that.

your dad was shocked when you told him you'd found a boyfriend. thanks to your strained relationship, you'd hardly talked to him after leaving for college, which he blamed himself for. it had only worsened between the two of you after your mother left.

and now, at dinner, your dad thinks it's the greatest idea in the world talk about your beloved.

"so," your father starts as he saws through thick-cut steak with a serrated knife, cutting you off a piece, "this boyfriend of yours, when am i meeting him?"

"you want to meet my boyfriend?" you cock an eyebrow at your father, though he doesn't meet your gaze. his own is fixed to the bit of steak he's setting on your plate beside some vegetables.

"well, yeah. must be pretty serious if you told me about him." chris finally looks at you, setting his silverware down. you swallow.

"i don't know, dad."

"what, are you embarrassed of me?"

"i didn't say that, don't put words in my mouth." you stuff a piece of sauteed cauliflower in your mouth as chris sighs inwardly. for the next ten minutes, there's no sound except silverware clinking against your plates and your father's jaw popping here and there.

neither of you can take much more of the awkward silence.

chris clears his throat and leans back in his chair, "listen, i just want to make sure you're dating a good guy, okay?"

"yeah, sure." the bitterness and slight annoyance in your voice is hard to hide. you don't bother.

"is that a crime? wanting to look out for my kid?" he crosses his arms over his chest, getting a little defensive.

"don't you think it's a little late to play dad of the year? i'm not a child, i don't need you to look out for me."

"i know you're not a child-"

"then just stop." you're standing up from your chair, "stop trying to be a bigger part of my life. stop acting like you care. stop."

"fine, you want to be an ungrateful brat?" your dad stands up too, "then get out. take your shit and leave, or shut the hell up."

you don't really have anywhere else to go, so you slink back into your chair and reluctantly finish your food. with all the money your dad gets from his job, he's paying your tuition.

your dad downs the whiskey in his glass and gathers his dishes, leaving you to sit in silence at the dinner table.

-

your father lets the boyfriend thing go until you bring it up to him again, this time on your own.

when you bring it up to albert, he's delighted.

"i'd be honored," he tells you as he leans down to kiss your cheek, he's confident about this, which puts you at ease because you know your father isn't going to take this very well.

-

you're dressed your best, as is albert, who's got his hand on your lower back protectively. he can sense your nerves- uroboros didn't completely burn out of his system- as if they were his own, and he kisses your head as you unlock the front door. based on the black jeep in the driveway, beside albert's zephyr, your father is home. you open the door, and in a flash, you're pushed out of the way.

you didn't expect your father to have a loaded gun aimed at your boyfriend so quickly, if at all. a deep laugh sounds from albert.

"oh, chris..."

#bunnystalker ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡#albert wesker #bunny's replies 🕊 ˚✧ ₊˚ʚ #albert wesker x reader #resident evil #resident evil fanfiction #dad!chris redfield #chris redfield is your dad yay #tw emotional abuse #tw childhood neglect #albert wesker i love youuuu

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sulasnsleep · 10 months

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“i do not recall the taste of love. i remember being fed poison and told it was sugar.”

— sulasnsleep

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samijami · 6 months

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You know what, my parents have always been so great at comforting me

I could be really shaken up and scared cuz someone just tried hurt me and my mom would say 'ah, get over it, she couldn't have hurt you anyways', when the same lady beats her grown ass brother to a pulp everyday and would've with me if I hadn't ran away when she gave chase.

My father could always complain like fuck to ME about me being bullied. What am I going to do? Why don't I tell you I'm being bullied? Oh because you yell at me for being bullied because you're complaining to me about what THEY'RE doing. That's really fucking nice.

Why don't I tell you about my mental state, father? Oh because you tell me I have no reason to be depressed and that I'm being ungrateful or accuse me of being indoctrinated by the internet and trying to to waste your money on therapy when I open up. Or maybe because I've had multiple instances of you screaming at me for 5 fucking hours about how much of a disappointment to the entire family line I am for being the 'only depressed one/the only one who's 'given up',' or you just insist I'm depressed because someone convinced me I'm gay or trans on the internet.

Why don't I tell you I have a cold, father? Because I'd rather pretend I have a dry cough and take medicine behind your back then be screamed at about how you'd die if I gave you a cold, (which you won't), or how I 'definitively have covid' and then not let me in the living room with you. I don't want to be screamed at until I'm crying, and then you tell me I'm selfish for crying. It's happened too much, I'd rather just suffer in silence even if I do have a bad cold.

Why do I always stay up in my bedroom and avoid you, father? Because, you sleep half the day and scream at me if I make a singular noise. I can't live in my own household nor even go and eat something if you're asleep. I'm not allowed to. You could sleep the whole day and I could starve, yet if I moved and made a noise, you'd make sure I have a reason to cry. Then pound on me for crying.

Why do I always stall and not tell you I may need medical attention until I'm crying from pain? Because both of you complain about the hospital bills, how I'm faking, and how I'm a waste of time. Why did I need to get taken to the hospital from school before from passing out? Because you convinced me I shouldn't care enough to let you know something is wrong until something bad happens to me if it costs you time and money. I hated the back of that ambulance, and you're the reason I had to experience that.

I hated the way that boy laughed at me as I was picked up half-fucking conscious and dragged to the stretcher and loaded into the damn ambulance.

Why do I not tell you I need help with schooling? Because you helped my brother with one homework paper in kindergarten, and that was the only one he failed. Then you complained to him and said I was the smarter kid. Now that I'm failing, if I say I have one problem, I'm automatically fucking stupid since I was straight A's and B's in ELEMENTARY.

Oh and my cat could be dying, so keep making side-comments, 'he's going to die'. That's very comforting. I love it when you say that.

Why must you always tell me I'm going to fail when I grow up? I can't have ADHD when i grow up or else I'll be 'dysfunctional' and never get a job? I should grow out of my problems? These problems never existed in your generation because you just dealt with it and got through it and now we 'dramatise everything'? I can only grow up to marry--and I need to marry--a straight white boy? I'm never going to college because I'm a fucking dumbass and I'm failing at everything?

I can't be a child right now? I can't have mental problems? I can't be experiencing the aftermath of every fucking thing you've done to me? I need to be perfect, and I need to comfort myself? All I ask is for you to say one thing when I'm sitting here and ASKING for your help..

I just want you to say it's ok.

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ttyls · 3 months

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good evening, my pals 🧡 i haven't been very active lately bc:

work takes up so much of my day 😭 (why can't the work day be 2 hrs... 🤲🏻)

i've been processing many memories of childhood neglect that i buried, and they're resurfacing mostly bc i live with my parents and they're now retired and are around a lot more

my friend has convinced me to run a marathon with her in 3 months!

work crush likes to be out and about and when she invites me places, i have no choice but to follow her like she's my orpheus 🧍🏻‍♂️ i have never wanted to be someone's wife so badly...

but! like everyone else, time management is something i'm working on and i'm still always writing in my head 🥹🫂 so, i guess all this is to say i'm still around even when i'm not as active :-D

#work crush has percolated my mind and when i'm not with her i'm thinking about her why is this happening to me!!!!#for the void #tw childhood neglect

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riahlynn101 · 7 months

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Whumptober: Day Fourteen: "Water Inhalation."

Trigger warnings: Heavily implied child neglect, drowning, a child in distress, domestic arguments, and some slight manipulation/lying.

Summary: A (very young) Mike almost drowns. This is the catalyst to something so much more.

Word count: 1,372

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Mike can’t swim.

It’s embarrassing on so many levels. Here he is, seven-years-old and unable to do something most of his classmates learned literal years ago. It shouldn’t be that hard, but staring at the surface of the water, he’s wary.

It looks deep.

He’s afraid if he slips it might swallow him whole.

There’s a whole other side of the pool, the shallow end. But Mike’s also afraid that if he goes into the shallow end, somehow, someway he’ll end up in the deep end. It’s probably not rational, but that doesn’t help ease his fear.

He stares into the water, past the shimmering surface. The sun beats down on him, making Mike feel a bit nauseous. Families chatter around him, splashing in the pool and running around. His mom and baby brother sit in the shallow end. She holds Garrett up, keeping her full attention on him. His dad had to work overtime at the diner, but he might be able to stop by at some point.

Mike smiles at them, raising a hand to wave at them. “Mommy-”

Before he can comprehend what’s happening, Mike is pushed off the ledge into the depths of the pool. He might’ve screamed, but it doesn’t help. Mike flails, sinking to the bottom. His heart beats fast, faster than it ever has before.

He can hear people continuing to laugh and play.

His eyes, which he forgot to shut before being pushed, are starting to burn. Dark spots dance in his vision.

Mike’s lungs burn from trying to hold his breath. Mom and dad told him that breathing in water was dangerous. That it could hurt him.

He makes one last effort to claw his way to the surface, but there’s nothing solid to grab. Mike even tries to grab onto the various bodies around him, but he can’t…quite…reach…them.

He takes a deep breath. It’s involuntary. But it happens, and when it happens, he can’t stop it.

It burns. Bad.

The dark spots in his vision grow.

There’s a loud splash near him, and then strong arms are hoisting him above the water.

It’s…bright. Almost blindingly so.

His chest hurts, the pain indescribable. He’s lightheaded, and when the person takes him into their arms again, Mike rests his head on their chest. Shutting his eyes helps with the light, but does nothing for the pain in his chest. His lungs continue to try and take in air, inhaling and exhaling without his permission.

The person stops, sitting down. They thump him on the back. Mike sputters, coughing up mouthfuls of water. But it isn’t enough. He can feel it in his lungs, heavy. Like lava sitting in his chest and throat.

The person hits his back again and again, not stopping until Mike has stopped choking and sputtering.

Mike opens his eyes, head pounding. The pain in his chest is no better, but at least he isn’t fighting to breathe. He’s pressed to someone’s chest. Someone’s fully clothed chest. He forces himself to look up.

His dad smiles down at him. “Thank god, you’re okay,” he murmurs, kissing the top of Mike’s head.

His mom comes over not too long after. His baby brother in her arms. Garrett cries for him, calling out his name and lifting his arms towards Mike. And when mom puts him down next to dad, he’s quick to cling to his older brother.

He makes eye contact with Mike. A tiny, pudgy hand taps his cheek. “Otay?”

“‘m fine, Gar,” Mike says, ignoring the pain. His voice sounds hoarse. “Just…uh…” he turns his face away to cough. “A fall.”

Garrett frowns. “So…otay then?” He looks at their dad, eyebrows furrowed. “Bubba ‘tay?”

Their dad laughs. Mike can feel the vibrations through his whole body. “He’s okay, Garrett. Just had a little tumble. That’s why mommy and I tell you boys to be careful around the pool.”

Mike pouts. “But…but it wasn’t my fault.” He coughs again, leaning more of his weight against his dad’s chest. “Someone pushed me.”

“It’s possible one of the other kids might have accidentally knocked Michael in. It is fairly crowded today.” His mom presses a hand to his cheek. “But all that matters is that he’s okay.”

Mike feels his dad tense up. “Where were you?” He asks.

“Pardon?”

Garrett rests his head on Mike’s shoulder. Something he does when he needs comfort from Mike. Weakly he strokes his brother’s hair, hands trembling.

“I mean, if you were watching him, he wouldn’t have fallen in. You know that he can’t swim.”

“Well, that’s not my fault. I offered to sign him up for classes, but you said no.” His mom pulls away, huffy.

The pounding in his head gets worse. He hates when his parents argue. It never solves anything, and only makes Garrett and him scared. Not that they care, they just want to be right.

The ride home that night is tense. Mom and dad never argue in the car. Something about road safety…? Mike doesn’t know, but he thinks it’s awfully nice of them to wait to have a screaming match until they're all inside the house.

Despite almost drowning not two hours earlier, Mike is the one that puts his brother to bed. He changes him into clean clothes and helps him brush his teeth. It helps that Garrett’s bed is in Mike’s room.

They snuggle up together, listening as their parents begin their nightly argument. Garrett’s stuffed bear lies sandwiched between Mike’s chest and his arm. The nightlight in the corner of their room projects little images of Fredbear and Springbonnie on the walls. Sometimes, when the fighting gets too intense, Mike will focus on the images and hums one of the animatronics' songs.

Garrett sniffles.

Gently, Mike runs his fingers through his brother’s curls. “It’s going to be alright,” he murmurs. “Mommy and daddy are just talking very loudly.”

“Momma and dadda happy?”

“Yes,” Mike agrees, not wanting his brother to feel the same amount of terror that he feels on a daily basis. He refuses to let his parents ruin that for Garrett. “Very happy.”

His little brother nods, snuggling closer. He falls asleep soon after, one hand tangled in Mike’s shirt.

Mike lies awake, unable to not listen. His parents' screaming match lasts nearly the whole night. It only stops when the front door slams closed, echoing throughout the house. A car-so it must be his dad who left, because his mom doesn’t have a car-sputters noisily to life, zooming out of their driveway and to who knows where.

It’s silent.

He hears his mom moving around downstairs, sobbing. If Garrett wasn’t nestled up to him, he’d go check on her.

His eyes slide shut, exhaustion taking him over. It had been a long day, and there was no promise tomorrow would be any better.

“Michael?”

He jolts awake. Garrett is in his mom’s arms. A strange man stands next to her, a suitcase in each hand and a bag slung over both of his shoulders. He smiles at Mike, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“What-what’s going on? Where’s daddy?”

His mom shushes him. “It’s okay, baby,” she says. “He’s okay. We-you, me, and Garrett-are going to go on a little vacation.”

“A ‘cation…?” Mike asks, still half-asleep. He rubs his eyes. “Why?”

His mom hesitates as if thinking of an answer. “Because it’ll be fun.”

In his tired state, that’s enough for Mike. “Okay.”

“Good, now we’re going to quickly pack some of your and your brother’s most important items. Don’t worry about packing clothes or tooth brushes, I already did that.”

Half-asleep and more confused than ever, Mike is ushered around his room. His mom stuffs plushies and books and photos and trophies into a large backpack. She then helps Mike put it on, making sure to hold him steady.

It’s early in the morning when Garrett and him are buckled into an unfamiliar car. His dad’s car isn’t in the driveway, and once the strange man and his mom have packed their stuff in the trunk, they pull out of the driveway.

Mike closes his eyes, sleep pulling him under. Wherever they’re going, he hopes his dad can join them soon.

#whumptober2023 #no.14 #water inhalation #tw kidnapping #tw drowning #tw childhood neglect #mike and garrett #mike schmidt #fnaf michael afton #Michael Afton and Mike Schmidt are the same person.#cross posted on ao3 #fnaf william afton #mrs. afton

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buuuuggggggggggg · 7 months

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Abused kid things: closing all the windows so you can hear everything that's happening inside

#mine thoughts #it me #me #trauma #childhood abuse #childhood trauma #tw trauma #tw childhood neglect #tw child abuse

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thenextgenderation · 2 years

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i just watched ds9 "time's orphan", and i'm sorry but i hate this. like. i'm glad it all worked out in the end but right until the end it really didn't look like it and.

how is it that even in this great future, where medicine is supposed to be advanced and whatnot, institutionalization seemed worse to the o'brien's than sending their daughter, who had been through the trauma of abandonment, isolation, neglect. to live in isolation again! without any support, company, medical care, ... ???

surely it would or at least should have been possible to get molly to a facility where she could be in a holosuite and gradually adapt to life in society without it having to be a bad or restricting experience, and without it meaning separation from her family??? miles even stated at the beginning of the episode he'd absolutely be willing to transfer so that their family can stay together!

and how come the situation even got out of hand like that. surely there are some guidelines on how to help someone reintegrate into society after isolation. guidelines that state, idk, maybe don't suddenly put them in a crowded bar. my point is, why didn't the o'brien's get more support. why didn't molly o'brien get the support she needed.

and idk. ig one could argue that there's a war going on, something something limited resources, even though i'd find it hard to believe... but then still. the idea to just send her back, to live out the rest of her life all on her own??? just because she seemed very happy in the holosuite program?? sorry but i think that's bullshit.

i think the o'brien's should have either fought for her to get proper support and care in the present, or pack their stuff and go through the portal as a family. (although that's also tricky because. do they take kirayoshi with them so he isn't suddenly separated from his family or. do they leave him behind so that his future isn't predetermined and he can choose what to do with his life)

#star trek #star trek ds9 #star trek deep space nine #molly o'brien #miles o'brien #keiko o'brien #kirayoshi o'brien #tw trauma #tw childhood neglect #tw abandonment #tw institutionalization #time's orphan #ds9 #deep space nine

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loveyourlovelysoul · 11 months

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When you had to spend most of your life renouncing, or hearing no's related to anything you wished for, it's hard to start believing things will change and you'll actually receive anything you actually wish for. It's hard to feel like you're deserving. It all just seems impossible, no matter how you try and hope. You just take any (even partially) negative sign in relation to it as a confirmation of your fears. Adding to this, if you've been living with a parental figure giving you mixed signals and often lying to you and judging you, or giving themselves anything but rarely doing the same for you, it may be even tougher to believe that even having the smaller good thing is possible for you.

You even get ready to renounce once more, or to believe it's never gonna happen or that you've been a fool to believe it could be, even for a second, and in order to not feel betrayed and hurt once again you just give up and block yourself (you keep yourself in the known and comfortable zone). You build your own future in a cage, craving for one thing but reminding yourself that for any random reason (probably cause you're not enough or not deserving, probably cause others have been telling you -even unwillingly, even to "protect" you- what you deserve and need all your life), it's not for you.

And at the same time, you see people around you getting what they want and ask yourself what's wrong with you. Darling, there's really nothing wrong with you. But you need to give yourself a chance to try and actually see what it is that you want and need. And if this dream is for you (if you really want it now or it's from a wounded childhood trigger) or not. Work for it, no fear of what it could be in the end (see it this way, you know how to deal with disappointments: at least, you won't have regrets cause you tried your best to get it and you'll know for sure if it's possible or not. And if by any chance you'll feel like it'll be too much to not get it, then ask yourself about the possible childhood wound it reminds you of) and no fear of being judged by others or feeling behind others (there's no such a thing as you're living your own life; and people who use/d to judge you on one thing, probably know/knew unconsciously they are/were lacking it as well: it's easier to judge others instead of looking inside). You're you. And that's amazing. And for this reason, you're deserving to at least try.

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turtlethebean · 8 months

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I know it's been like 2 weeks, but here's the fifth chapter of ANF. Bone apple tea.

A Normal Family - Chapter 5 - Turtle_The_Bean - Criminal Case (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]

#criminal case #alternative universe #au #criminal case alternative universe #criminal case save the world #criminal case season 3 #elliot clayton #michelle zuria #carmen martinez #sanjay korapatti #angst #ao3 #archive of our own #trigger warnings #tw child abuse #tw childhood trauma #tw childhood neglect #tw panic attack #tw ptsd

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stahp-right-there-peasant · 2 years

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Cobs: You're acting like a child.

Young MePhone4: I'M NOT ACTING!!!!!!!!!!!!

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helenas-crashed-car · 2 years

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little scared rn (accidentally came into the orbit of blogs who actively hate trans people) but. heyo, what can they really do? so joy, overture content be upon ye!

btw, you can do oc interacts with him any time :) I really love seeing them! you have permission to draw him and do oc interacts with him, but please ask before writing him into fics :)

Without further ado, more overture stuff 💫 (please check tags for warnings.)

Overture isn’t used to being one of the younger members of the team, at 22. Despite earlier hesitance towards them, the agents of Valorant do treat him like a teammate and friend. Overture grew up isolated and as due to his living circumstances, was his little sister’s primary caretaker even though they were in their fathers’ custody. He’s had to be the ‘older brother’ for most of his life, and almost purposefully isolated himself from others during his adulthood before the Valorant Protocol. He’s not used to older agents treating him like a little brother, or even like a son.

Despite his lack of social skills, Overture’s very glad to be a part of Valorant. It’s a little ironic that the boy who runs around with bones decalled on his shirt is often the one raising morale: with years of being his sister’s caretaker, he’s gotten used to reading others’ emotions, although he still messes up on occasion. He doesn’t always have solutions, but he’ll always listen.

Reyna scares the shit out of him. With her ability to suck the life out of people and hard attitude, Overture is always a little bit frightened of her. Plus, with his special interest in old tech, her anti-technology attitude also gets under his skin.

Overture has an ancient 3DS XL, which he plays Pokémon White on. Killjoy has offered to get him an emulator to play old games on, but he declined after swiping up his 3DS at a shop.

Finally getting to talk about Overture’s relationship with his heritage. After his mother’s murder, Overture’s father began slipping farther into the depression he was already in, becoming neglectful, which is why Overture had to step up as his sister’s caretaker. Since Overture was so young when this happened, and trying to comprehend his mother’s death, he leaned heavily into what reminded him of his mother: old music, the punk subculture, and playing guitar. His bad relationship with his father spurred him to not want to engage with learning about his Japanese heritage; which would have been hard anyways due to his father’s lack of a want to talk to his children. In his late teens, when he was maturing and finally coming to terms with his identity, he started trying to make an attempt to connect with the culture he never got to experience due to his own reluctance. But the damage was already done: most of his father’s family members were dead or didn’t speak English, and Overture doesn’t speak much Japanese besides a few textbook phrases. Most of what he knows about Japanese culture is from reading food blogs, stories he half-remembers from his father when he was 9, and anime. He feels a large disconnect to his heritage despite his attempts to learn and understand more, which is a source of frustration to him. He wishes his family was better.

(He doesn’t ask Yoru either. He thinks it’s embarrassing to ask the man “What are some foods you grew up eating?” or any questions he has. Plus, they don’t like each other anyways.)

He picked his real first name, “Akira”, so he could match his sister Chihiro, who was purposefully named after the film Spirited Away (their dad’s a film buff). He absolutely adores his sister.

He wants to pet Skye’s dog so bad… Soooo bad.

He idolizes Gerard Way and Sage.

No, seriously, he thinks Sage is soooooo cool. Calm, collected, and she has the ability to heal? Wow! Overture doesn’t make her out to be a saint, but she definitely is someone he looks up to.

Fade and Overture bond over liking coffee and missing that person important to them. At first, Fade scared him shitless, but over time, Fade and Overture have become friends. Not as good friends as Overture is with Phoenix and Raze, but they’re definitely friendly.

Overture, on top of being a guitarist, also has a good singing voice. I bet he, Phoenix, and Neon have little singing sessions in the base :)

Overture loves cats. Another reason why he’s friends with Fade!

I’m still working on Overture’s backstory, but I think he definitely has some anti-Kingdom sentiment; he definitely distrusted Brimstone at first due to him proudly brandishing a Kingdom logo on his person, but now he accepts Brimstone as Valorant’s leader.

He doesn’t own a weighted blanket, so he sleeps with, like, 4 blankets on top of him. His bed is literally the cozy kingdom. He keeps forgetting to buy a weighted blanket… dumbass.

He’s my little guy. A blorbo? Can your own au version of an oc be a blorbo? I refuse to call him a blorbo. But if he’s your blorbo, okay.

#river talks too much #valorant #valorant oc #overture #valorant Sage #valorant fade #valorant brimstone #valorant Yoru #oc #tw childhood neglect #tw childhood trauma #tw parental death #tw self isolation #valorant overture

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pcrfectstorms · 2 years

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below the cut is a list of misc. steve harington headcanons trigger warnings for: ptsd, childhood neglect, disordered eating, body image mention, scars mention.

steve was twelve the first time his parents went on vacation without him, a trip spurred by his father’s latest affair, it was the first time he found out about the affairs and kicked off at his father for it, so as punishment he was left home with a babysitter who was only four years his senior and who left him alone for half of the two-week trip.

the following year there was no babysitter, and he was left alone a month this time, with only the cleaning lady for company on tuesday’s and friday’s. he would get super spooked about noises in the house, and obsessively check that the windows and doors were all locked. most nights he would sleep in the living room with the TV on for background noise to drown out any weird house sounds.

steve can cook, not master chef levels of cooking but he’s decent at it, he taught himself since he hated relying on take out and junk food when his parents were away. he likes to cook for robin and the kids when they come over. steve has a lot of disordered eating behaviours that he doesn’t recognise as such, and fully believes he’s just health conscious. but his strict exercise routines and eating habits suggest otherwise - i won’t go any further into this for my own sake and trigger myself but - yeah steve has disorder eating and orthorexic tendencies when it comes to his relationship with food.

steve has undiagnosed ptsd, from the last four years of fighting literally monsters and the whole life fighting imaginary ones in his own mind, largely thanks to his father. he suffers from panic attacks and bad anxiety whenever he is on his own, he started having panic attacks as a kid, and they never really went away, they were never as bad until after barb and the demogorgon at the Byers house. after that night steve had nightmares every night for a month, sometimes the demogorgan got nancy, sometimes jonathan, sometimes everyone. he always wakes himself up screaming.

he can barely face going into his pool, after he found out what really happened that night with barb, it haunts him, he blames himself for being stupid and selfish and thinking with his dick, swimming use to be his outlet, he was swim captain his junior and senior year, and yet, now he can barely bring himself to step foot in the pool, but the kids do -- when he has them over in summer, and that helps a little, the drag him in one day, and he realises he can handle it with his friends there, but he’ll never go in the pool alone.

the nightmares were worse after he was drugged and kidnapped by the russians, him and robin have only really talked about it drunk one night at his place a couple of months after it happened, they both ended up emotionally overwhelmed, cried, cuddled and fell asleep on steve’s sofa. after the russians he started getting terrible headaches too, robin suggested it could be from the head trauma, he thinks she might be right but he’s never gone to have it checked out.

after they fail to defeat vecna his nightmares gets worse, his sleeping is practically non-existent, robin notices, she stays over at his place most nights, knows that he sleeps better when he isn’t alone but that he’s too stubborn to ask, doesn’t want to be a burden. eventually, after a month of barely sleeping robin forces him to go to the doctors and he gets sleeping pills, they don’t work great, but they help a little.

steve has scars after his encounters with the demobats and the vines that almost sucked the life out of him in the upside down, the worst is probably the one on his neck, already present from the demobat attack but made worse by the vines, but the time it heals there is a thick 2 inch scar at the very front of his neck, and on the left side an almost ‘y’ shaped scar that wraps halfway around, with two smaller ones at the back on his neck. but it's the scars on his abdomen that he hates the most, there are six of them in total, 4 on his left side, 2 on his right, they’re mottled and ache like a bitch when he’s cold, the two on his right got infected and took weeks to heal. whenever he looks in a mirror they are all he can focus on, how ugly they are, and how ugly the memories attached to them are, they remind him of how terrified he was in the upside down; how his friends got hurt because of his stupid plan.

#❛ so you think you know me ❜ [ headcanons; steve harrington ]#THESE HURT ME #TW ED mention #tw childhood neglect

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aphrorite · 1 year

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tw vent regression + abandonment

not striked through for readability

when ur friend always text u on the daily... send u 4 concern messages and then u just get one from ur cg that doesnt even mean anything... n ure just sitting here wondering what did u do.. y did he treat me like dis.. was i a bad kiddo? i dont get it...

and then they take back everything they had with u... actions dont align with their words... they treat other people better but then say that they care about u more... they say ''we're a dream team'' have a shared account and then revoke it randomly.. they give u a gift and then they take it back...?? family subscription on spotify.. why? how can u do dat to me? does that mean im not part of ur family anymore? or did u just.. not pay? i dont see why u wouldnt.. u seem to love treating urself btu when i ask for u to be nice to me or just show u care... theres no input.. i ask u to message first... u dont... why am i in love with the potential of u... it hurt... a lot...

and ur not even going away in one go.. if u went in one go i could just laugh it off.. say im right.. but ure doing it excuriatingly slowly. which makes me believe that its someone else whos telling u.. or maybe u were just.. done enough wit me.. to do all of this..

when u were with other people and they gave u gifts, even when they stopped knowing u.. they never took it back... so why are u doing this to me?

i want to burn all the letters i made for you... the hole in my heart is growing.. that small bare minimum text reliefing my compulsion but the truth still yearning in me... why dont u care?

i wann thro wa tantrum and stomp on ur feet and show u how much u hurt me becaus im really hurt. i cant cry. it wont happen... u give familial love a sour taste like childhood...

ive been holding my breath / ive been counting to ten over something you said / ive been holding back tears while youre throwing back beers / im alone in bed / you know i i'm afraid of change / guess thats why we stay the same / so tell me to leave, ill pack my bags get on the road / find someone that loves you / better than i do... darling i know... / cuz you remind me everyday.. im not enough, but i still stay... / havent got the guts to call him up / walk around as if you never cared in the first place / but if you never call you end up stuck / thought another chance to tell him off right to his face / and even though we barely know each-other it still hurts, watching him fade away...

im accepting that u will never love me the way i want.. u hurt me too much... i dont know when to put my foot down.

#tw vent #tw abandonment #tw daddy issues #tw childhood neglect #vent regression #ramble #aphrorite lil speaks #sfw agere #sfw agere blog

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