"The desire to be sicker, to prove that you are sick, itself is indicative of sickness. A well person doesn't desire to be sick"

Does anybody else have a fantasy that if they die, they’ll come back as everything they wish they could be?

Baby, schrei mich an, bis ich traurig bin und weine

->me

I am scared of losing myself

i fucking hate them all i want to crush their skulls against the wall

YALLLLL. It’s probably old news to you guys but screaming loud asf into a pillow is so much better than relapsing imo!!!! Only works if you’re home alone tho :/

Okay but what if no one ever loves me as much as I love them. What if no one ever writes paragraphs for me like I do for them. What if no one ever understands the intensity of my emotions and what if everyone thinks I feel too much of think too deeply of things. What if no one appreciates me for who I am and I have to keep hiding my passion as I have done all of these years

To be gone without a trace.

To be gone without memory.

To wipe clean the slate I painted, while I danced with inevitability.

I'll leave in the night; so, when you wake, any thought of me will slip away.

Like last night's dream or the previous day.

I'll leave in the shadows, until I'm nothing more than a trick of the mind.

A faint voice, in the distance, you'll never quite find.

I'll be gone without a trace.

I'll be gone without a memory.

Not to rob you of goodbye, but to protect you for eternity.

Why does living have to feel so much like dying?

Depression is really tough sometimes…I spent all day crying, staring at a wall… barely talking to anyone… I just feel so alone right now.

Das Wetter heute beschreibt wie’s mir geht.

->me

everyday that passes I wish I had gone through with it in september 2021. I'm not happy that I'm still here. things didn't get better, they got so much worse. and now everything is so complicated. I lost so many people, damaged my relationship with others, I know nobody will care when I do it. nobody will notice. I wanted everyone to see how sad I was, I wanted to hurt them, I wanted everyone who wronged me to feel the guilt when I was gone, but now I'll never have that. I'll have lived a quiet lonely pathetic life and I'll pass quietly without anyone noticing or being missed. I guess that's all I deserve.

we all have our horrors and our demons to fight

but how can i win when i’m paralyzed?

i can’t sleep, i’m always worrying about the future. How will i get a house? How will i get a job? Will i make friends? Will i fall in love? How will i cope with losing people? I don’t understand how i’m supposed to live and i’m scared. I want to live a comfortable life.