and if today was rough for you, i am proud of you.
and if you suffered today silently, i am proud of you.
and if you struggled with eating but you still ate, i am proud of you.
and if you were not happy for your body but you let it exist in the peace, i am proud of you.
whatever happened today good or bad, whatever you felt today - i am still very much proud of you, please keep going my friend, i love you.
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If you grew up needing to keep everyone happy and content in order to avoid excessive negative reactions or behaviours, chances are you need to bring this habit also in the other relationships you join.
So anytime the other person is feeling down, you may start stressing over what you can do to make them better, if it was your fault (you may think this even if it objectively isn't possible -eg. this person has had a bad day at work and you don't even work with them- cause you were often accused or blamed for everything in the past), and may stress them even more to get answers to your doubts.
If it happens, try to remind yourself that it's okay to have bad moments and to feel sad: it's part of life as much as feeling good and happy. It doesn't have to be your fault (and very likely it's not) and you don't have to be responsible for everyone's feelings. The person you're dealing with is just a person as you are, and they cannot always be happy and hyped, they do deal with stuff aside of your relationship too (not to say that even if it was something about the relationship, you still can give them space and the ability to process the situation at their own conditions). Let them know you're by their side if they need support or to talk or anything, and then let them deal with anything the way they rather.
You don't have to make anything better for everyone, it's not on you. Sometimes people don't need to be saved by you and that's fine.
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