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#tw vent
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keep gaining control. don’t let it slip. you want something, you can very much get it.
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sh00kspeared · 16 hours
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Can we talk about Johnny's bi erasure in-game? Because really, it makes me kinda mad.
Now, I'm not the kind of person who shouts 'homophobia' at everything because it's just not my way of things... but the amount that Johnny's attraction to men has been completely shafted throughout the game is really a disservice to him and to all the people who ship their male characters with him. A few examples:
Cutting or making really hard to trigger the line where Johnny says he got a lap dance from a man at a gay strip club (I've seen some people claim they experienced it, which is why I think it may still be in the game)
Johnny saying he didn't sleep with Kerry because he had a dick despite the official, director-sanctioned game guide saying that he did.
Johnny telling female V that the two are arguing "like an old married couple", yet telling male V that they're arguing "like two geezers on a park bench." (Johnny's definitely not the kind of guy to change his language depending on the gender of person he's with).
Never, ever alluding to any of his flings with male characters outside of the strip club line despite him saying that he did swing both ways now and then.
Now, why do I care so much about this? Because it's really sparked more debate than necessary. This post got hate for making him "gay" Cyberpunk 2077 on X: "Johnny Silverhand 🎤 Art by: @painperdues https://t.co/ABiBzSCZvm" / X (twitter.com) and so did this one Cyberpunk 2077 on X: "V and Johnny, Johnny and V… By: @hanbyeo0526 https://t.co/JlGNBmRYJH" / X (twitter.com) (I believe some of the comments have been deleted since because I don't see a lot of the meanest ones there anymore). Mind you, after the latter was posted, a fem V x Johnny post was made not too long afterward and it got markedly fewer hate comments. Also, funny story, my old male V x Johnny post is the third most controversial post of all time on r/lowsodiumcyberpunk at the moment (please go downvote it if possible; I wanna be first again lmao /hj).
But, all this to say, much of the playerbase sees Johnny as an alpha straight manly man when he's... well... not. While many people including me assume that the choice to keep his bisexuality under wraps is due to his addled memory in Mikoshi misremembering the fact that he canonically slept with Kerry, I just think this is a really odd thing to use to demonstrate that. Of all the things the devs could've chosen to display this, they chose one of the things that is most likely to get male V x Johnny shippers belittled and seen as the 'lesser' version of the ship for just existing.
They chose to erase a massive part of Johnny's identity, either to prove the point of his memories being addled or because they were scared of backlash. I just don't see how it would've been so hard for him to allude to some of his male flings more often, make the dicky twister line easier to trigger, and just not have him say that he didn't sleep with kerry because he had a dick. Ffs CDPR, stop being so dodgy your bi characters' identities.
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daddy are you proud of me?
your little girl grew up
he’s angry and he’s spiteful
and he’s had e-fucking-nough
is this what you saw
when you “raised me up right”?
when you kept me up with crying
nearly every fucking night
i’m sorry i’m not the girl you wanted me to be
i really fucking tried
but you and your fucking family
brought me up with lies
i hope you’re happy
because you burdened me with a knot i have to try and untie
daddy are you proud of yourself?
your little girl is grown
and now he’s fucking positive
he’s gonna die alone
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(VENT) bpd culture is feeling comfortable around a person who promised to understand and help you no matter what, opening up to them, and then getting told that i was just pretending to like them and using them for entertainment when in reality i probably liked them more than they like me. I guess they never really understood. And i can’t really blame them, no one should understand someone shitty and unworthy like me. If only i was a better person, if only i didnt turn out this way, if only i had control of my damn life.
.
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normalpeoplethingss · 21 hours
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Ate so much these past few days and I gained 2 kg :/ so for now I’m gonna go back to ⭐️ving !
I wanna reach 54.9kg again and get rid of those 2kg!
So Im not gonna eat more than 500kcal per day.
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usercrybaby · 2 days
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I'm so sick and fucking tired of being alive :/ at least my ass is fat
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wolfiecindy777 · 2 days
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guys im thinking of recovering... should i?? is it worth it?? please give me answers i just need them. im 14 and everyone in my life is concerned for me and i lied to my doctor that my ed is under control but it's not. im still in a binge restrict cycle. what should i do guys?? please help
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tetzoro · 3 days
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i don’t think i’ve talked about it much on this blog because tbh it’s a really difficult thing for me to talk about in general but a year ago today, i lost my baby kitty zelda and i miss her so very much ᰔ
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life-is-okay-rn · 2 days
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I know i said no more vents but here’s another
ough
drown me shoot me throw me out the window push me off the roof poison me stab me decapitate me murder me kill me make me stop existence make sure i was never born my chest hurts my head hurts i’m hungry i should die my parents should die i need to move away why do i have boobs why is my voice so high
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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thecorvidforest · 7 months
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boy it would be nice to be able to google something related to personality disorders, psychosis, intellectual disabilities, autism, DID/OSDD, etcetera without finding majority articles that are like “how to deal with a person with X” “how to cope with your child with X” “how to spot someone faking X” “can people with X be cured?”
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jamieflakane · 27 days
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Every time I look in a mirror: fat
Every time I move: fat
Every time I eat: fat
My hands, my chin, my arms: fat
My thighs and hips: disgustingly obese
My reflection: a blob of fat trying to shape itself into a person
I don’t even look human
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imnotactuallyheere · 3 days
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eating❌
smoking at 8am✅
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autistic-af · 7 months
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A personal vent - this is my experience and may not reflect other autistic experiences.
Approximately 16% of Autistics are in full-time work.
Approximately 32% are in some form of paid work.
I am in the 16%. And it fucking sucks.
"You are doing so well!" No. I'm not. I'm mentally extremely unwell and in constant burnout. But it's either this or being homeless.
"You must be high functioning then." Besides the terminology, it's kinda a no, too. I high mask. I don't function at home. I can barely take care of myself. It's all fake.
"Count your blessings!" No. This is a curse for me because I was late diagnosed and forced to live NT for 36 years of my life. I am not coping and I am not happy on an autistic level.
I don't go out, I can't watch shows or movies because I'm too exhausted, week-ends are barely enough recovery time, I'm in therapy that's holding the flood at bay just barely.
"You should just quit." I can't. We would lose everything and in the current economy my husband's income is not enough. We'd lose the house, the cars, the cats (which are like my children). And finding another job that pays me $29+ an hour for what I do isn't easy or a guarantee it won't be worse for me.
"You are so lucky to be able to work." I'm not. Please, my sweet dumplings... understand that I'm not.
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themindofmine · 5 months
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I feel like I’m already dead but I have to keep on living
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borderline-culture-is · 16 hours
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(TW: Suicide mention?) Little vent
BPD traits culture is everything triggering your memories of your fp and remembering that she is not by my side, I lost her, I lost her because I was scared... And then you feel so bad because of It that you want to die and you cry because of that
.
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pinkistufff · 6 months
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idk how much longer i can force myself to stay alive
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