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seeingivy · 6 months

Text

all too well

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

an: ladies and gentleman, we are so back. the french is google translated, to the french speakers, I apologize (@cutiejg I am looking at you)

content: BIG OUCHIES

songs mentioned: little freak by harry styles, not mentioned explicitly but all too well by taylor swift (the name of the chapter)!

previous part linked here

You knock hard on the door, knuckles pounding wearily on the wood, as you push into the room to find Hange and Levi, hunched over their desk. They’re pouring over the storyboards with the script up at their side, talking in hushed tones.

Levi, as always, looks up first and sets his pencil down as he beckons for you to come in. You awkwardly amble up to their desk, as Hange pulls up a chair in between the two of them, and you settle into the space. You can smell both of their distinctive smells in the air - Levi’s freshly brewed tea and the smell of Hange’s inky ballpoint pens.

“Hey kid. What can we do you for?” Hange asks, resting a hand in your hair to ruffle your locks. It’s well past three in the morning, the frigid December air raising the goosebumps on your arm with Eren’s hoodie doing little to help your chills.

You’re not sure why, but that soft, soothing tone that Hange always sports when they talk to you has the tears violently rushing to your eyes, the warm wetness spreading across your cheeks. Both of their demeanours suddenly change - Levi’s suddenly increasingly attentive, a hand on your shoulder, while Hange coos into your ears - that aching pain in your chest pulsating.

“Oh, honey, what’s wrong?” Hange asks, eyebrows knit in concern.

You try to subside your hiccuped breaths, wiping the wetness on your cheek onto the back of your hand, as you open your swollen eyes, your line of vision obscured.

“I-It’s kind of complic-cated.” you respond, frowning at the two of them.

“Did Eren do something?” Levi asks, voice stern.

Hange smacks his shoulder, rolling their eyes, as you can’t help but laugh. At Levi, for suggesting it. And at Hange, for defending Eren.

“No. No, he’s great.”

Levi narrows his eyes, giving you his most soul piercing stare.

“Are you sure?”

You laugh, not missing the way Levi’s lips slowly turn upwards, the makings of a smile on his face as his shoulders relax.

“Yes, Levi. I’m sure. It’s Eren.”

“Well. What’s got you so worked up then, kid?” he asks again, squeezing your shoulder.

You look down at your hands, knitting your fingers together, as you fumble through the words. Through that bubbling pit of emotion, sitting in your throat, that’s been bothering you for the past few days. That you’re going to be leaving the set for three years and they won’t be at your side, lifting you up for what you’re going to do next.

That without them, you’re going to fail. Horrendously.

“I’m really scared to do this all without you guys. And I really, really don’t want to fail you both, but I think that I’m going to because I don’t know how to do this alone.” you mumble.

“Huh?” Hange asks.

“I just mean. You and Levi have gotten me this far. Holding my hand at every turn, coaxing me into things when anyone else would have pushed me. Or kicked me out for not having the guts. You put me with Eren when you know he’d support me. And it-I feel like I’m going to flop out the second I leave.”

You watch Levi pinch his lips into a straight line, his gray eyes glaring into yours.

“I couldn’t have done it without you guys. And I am so thankful for it, I-I want to make you guys so proud. But I just…I feel like I’m going to fail the second I try something on my own. That there’s this big, looming anticipation around me and it’ll amount to nothing.”

You swallow hard, darting your eyes between the two of them, not missing the shared look they give each other, before Levi breaks the silence.

“You’re really stupid kid, you know that?”

You frown, glaring at him.

“Leave it to you to invalidate my feelings.” you grumble, crossing your arms on your chest, making it a point to avoid even looking at him.

“I’m not invalidating your feelings, just invalidating the fact that you quite literally give yourself no credit. That you have zero faith in yourself.”

“Great. Thanks, Levi.” you deadpan.

“He means…anything you’ve done is of your own merit. Don’t put everything you’ve done on us.” Hange states.

You swallow hard, shaking your head.

“I-I didn’t mean it like that. I just mean, your support helps me, pushes me forward. I can’t imagine being able to do anything without it.” you murmur.

“You know we aren’t going anywhere, right?” Levi states.

“I know that. But it won’t be the same.”

“First and foremost, you don’t need anyone to do great things. You’re plenty great on your own. And second, it may not be us who's the closest to you, but there will be plenty of people in your arsenal, backing you up. Unfortunately for you, I don’t think Eren could leave you alone even if he tried.”

You laugh through the snot, lightly shoving Levi and Hange’s laughs vertebrate in your ears.

“Okay. Just, if I flop out, you can’t be mad at me, okay?”

“We’d never be mad at you kid. You mean the world to us.” Hange states, wrapping their arms around you as Levi follows suit.

And when you look over your shoulder, you see the framed picture on Levi’s side of the desk and know, in earnest, that it’s true. That in some way, Levi and Hange will always be at your side, always your fiercest defenders.

And that at his core, Levi Ackerman is a sap. For having a framed picture of you and Hange, front and center on his desk. There’s a rapid knocking on the door, followed by a very sleepy Eren standing on the door.

“There you are. I was looking everywhere for you.”

You wipe the last of the wetness off your face as he shuffles up, locking his hands around your neck and resting his chin right on top of your head. He leans down and presses a light kiss at the top of your hairline, as he starts groaning.

“S’cold. What are you doing down here? And with my jacket, mind you.” he murmurs, mid-yawn.

You sniffle, which has Eren securing his hands around your cheeks and angling your face up so he can look at you. And at the sight of your blotchy skin and red eyes, his eyes immediately wash over with concern, his thumbs rubbing into your skin.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

You give him a halfhearted smile, which he returns.

“Nothing, I just wanted to talk to Levi and Hange.” you respond, standing up as Eren tucks you into the side of his arm.

“Let’s talk about it tomorrow and go back to bed now. It’s really late. You should sleep.” he murmurs, as you give him an affirmative nod.

“To bed. In your own beds, mind you.” Levi states, giving the two of you a weary eye.

Eren’s eyes go wide, a sheepish laugh falling out of both of your mouths as Levi rolls his eyes.

“Oh, totally. Totally in my own bed. Because obviously, there is no one in my bed. Except for me! Well, not right now but you know what I mean.” you mumble, getting a laugh from Hange.

You and Eren sneak out of the room, hand in hand, as you giggle while sneaking up the steps. He squeezes your hand three times as he pushes you into his room, tangling under the sheets with you and burrowing you straight into his arms.

“You’re really okay?” he murmurs against your hair.

“I’d tell you if I wasn’t.” you whisper, as Eren presses his lips against your forehead in response.

“Okay, ma lune. Go to bed.”

“Eh? Who taught you that?” you ask.

“What? Was it wrong?”

“No, no, it’s right. You’re trying to say my moon in French, right?” you ask, cheeks burning.

“Yeah. I asked Falco. Since you call me mon chérie, it’s only fitting that my nickname for you is French too.”

“Mielleux.” you respond, tracing the side of his cheeks, right near his dimples as you laugh.

“Huh? Don’t insult me in French, that’s cheating.”

“That was an insult. I was calling you…intelligent.”

“Right. And Connie’s six foot four.” he responds, sarcastically.

“I just called you cheesy. Quit whining and go to bed now.”

His laugh, vertebrating in his chest, is the last thing you feel before your eyes flutter closed.

You swallow hard, shaking the memory from your head before knocking on the door firmly, as that pulsating wave of anxiety bubbles in your chest. Because whoever answers that door, is going to bring an all consuming, complicated wave of emotions that you’ll have to resolve in all but twenty seconds before you have to talk to them.

The door swings open, with Hange and Levi standing in the center of the doorframe, leaving you with a mess of anger, sadness, and dejection.

“Hey kid.” Hange states, spreading their arms open as you melt into their arms. That faint smell of ink is lingering on their clothes, the dark marks smudged along the side of their hand indicating that they must have been stuck in that room with Levi, workshopping the script.

“Hi Hange.” you respond, swallowing hard, as you turn to look at Levi.

“Y/N.” he states, voice devoid of any emotion. But you can tell from that unshakable burning in his eyes, that something is rumbling in Levi’s chest, similar to your own.

“Levi.”

The three of you quietly walk to the kitchen, that awkward tension hanging thick in the air as Hange and Levi start rummaging through the cabinets and you lean against the counter. You take a second to stare at the polaroids, a mix of familiar faces and ones you’ve never seen at all pressed to the fridge. But the one that catches your eye the most is of Falco, smiling brightly at a girl, with short, brown hair.

Hange walks up to your side, holding the bowl of food up in front of you, as you shoot them a thankful smile.

“Whose that?” you ask, pointing to the picture.

“Oh, that’s Gabi. She’s one of the new cast members.”

“I’m taking it she’s good friends with Falco.” you state, smiling at Hange.

“Oh, the best.” Hange states, giving you a knowing smile.

You settle into the chairs across from the two of them, your brain buzzing from being here, in this kitchen with them again. At being in this house again, so vastly changed from the last time you were here.

The last time you stood in this kitchen, you and Eren were giving each other teary goodbyes, everyone holding each other for too long. And now you’re here, sitting alone in the kitchen with Hange and Levi, with everyone nowhere to be found. Least of all Eren.

Levi’s characteristically silent, focused on steeping his tea bag in the water and avoiding any sense of eye contact or communication with you. Which you were expecting, since Levi was always one to hold a grudge.

“How are you, Levi?”

“Okay.”

The response to others would be seemingly nothing but it stings violently in your chest. Because it isn’t uncharacteristic for Levi to be withholding information, especially personal in nature, but it is uncharacteristic for Levi to be that way with you. And perhaps you were increasingly harsh the last time that you talked to him, but surely you’ve both moved past that. Because it was months ago and at this point, there is nothing you can do about it.

“Are you still mad at me, Levi?” you ask.

“Are you still mad at me?” he utters back, the tone biting.

You sigh. Straight into the thick of it. Levi was always straightforward like that.

“I mean, I still stand by what I said but that doesn’t mean I’m ma-”

“Great. So when everything goes to shit, you’re going to hold it over my head and blame me for it, right?”

You swallow hard, taken aback completely by how aggressive he comes off, straight off the bat. Levi had always been this way and you’d seen it firsthand, from how strict he was on Eren when it came to acting when you were younger. And every time you told Eren to be stronger, look past it, because Levi was doing it out of a place of love.

But from the way he’s angrily scorning you right now, over a decision he betrayed you by making, one thing is evidently clear to you. That Levi’s not acting out of love.

You swallow hard, pushing that disgusting acidic feeling in your throat, as you give Hange a look before talking.

“Okay, Levi. I never said that-”

“The second Falco’s feelings get hurt, by god knows what, you’re going to come to me and say that it was my fault. My fault because I was the one who casted him in the show.”

“Well, that would be true. I explicitly asked you to remove them from the show after I found out you gave him the part. So if something happens to them, it is going to be your fault. Because you didn’t listen. You’re the reason they’re here.” you murmur.

Levi groans, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose as Hange moves to his side, a firm hand and a pleading voice urging him to calm down.

“Is that what you’re trying to say? Are you trying to blame me for everything that happened?” Levi asks.

“I didn’t even say that. I just meant-”

“Isn’t that what you said though? You said by casting Falco, any hurt feelings he has from any backlash he could hypothetically get is going to be my fault. It’s going to be my fault because I cast him. And it’s fairly obvious you’re having some pent up feelings, because-”

You swallow hard, the tears burning your eyes and your chest aching.

“This isn’t about me. You know how hard I’ve fought to protect both of them from all of this. And you’re just going to forsake all of that, everything I’ve tried to shield them from, because you want them here for god knows whatever reason?”

“They’re here because they want to be here. They saw the casting call and auditioned together. As the person who is making this show, I had to pick the people who were best for the part. That was the same thing I did for you. And everyone else.”

“Oh, shut up, Levi. I know that you weren’t the final say in who picked me, it was Eren.”

“I was the one who put you in the top three. I knew you could be great at this. The same way I know that Falco and Colt can be great at it too.”

“I don’t give a fuck if they can be great at it, I’m sure they’re phenomenal. But they can’t handle the rest of it. And I’ve tried so hard, I already dragged them into all of this by literally being related to them, but the fact that you’re holding their hand and walking them right into this lion's cage, knowing damn well what’s waiting for them, is what’s making me mad.”

You see Levi’s eyes twinge for a second, before he scoffs and stirs his spoon in his tea. And the sound of the metal hitting the porcelain is enough to aggravate you even more.

“Nothing that happened to them is your fault. And trust me, they know exactly what they’re getting into when they come here.” Levi responds, sighing.

“Right. Because throwing that brick through my window totally would have happened regardless of the fact that I’m famous. That was my fault, plain and clear. And they can think they know what they’re getting into, but I can promise you for a fact. Falco isn’t strong enough to do this.”

You hear something drop behind you, only to find Falco and Colt standing there. Falco’s bright eyes are filled with tears, swiftly falling down his cheeks, as he runs off and Colt calls for him.

“I-I’m going to talk to him.” Colt responds, sighing heavily, as he shuffles away.

You turn back to Levi, glaring at him.

“Are you trying to punish me, Levi? Is that what this is?”

“What?”

“You’re trying to make me feel shitty. For not talking to you for so long, for-for pulling away. You’re trying to make me fucking regret it.”

Levi glares, walking up close to you, as he flares his nostrils.

“Are you trying to punish me?”

“Levi-”

“Surely, you must be. You really think that I would do anything, for even one second, to hurt you? That I find joy in hurting you even more when letting everything happen is one of my biggest regrets?

You swallow hard, taken aback by Levi’s admission. You reach forward, to place your hand on his shoulder, but he flinches away from your touch entirely, the frown on his face fixed.

“You clearly know nothing about me, Y/N. Nothing.” Levi states, angrily storming out of the room.

Your tears are burning, wet and hot and neverending as you bring the heels of your hands up to your eyes. You’d entirely forgotten Hange was there, until their hand comes up around your shoulder and squeezes hard.

And it makes you cry. That Hange’s here to comfort you. That the one person who you’ve looked u pto you, maybe the only reason you’re even standing here, is the one who sees you at your worst. And holds you anyways.

The realization hits you in full flesh. And it’s cruel.

That filming this season is going to be entirely different than any of the last.

The feeling isn’t like any other.

That deep seated pit of rage, of jealousy, of hurt that Eren can only associate with Zeke. And while he’s able to push it down, swallow it down when he’s ready for it, the one place he can’t do it is here. Because watching Connie prank Zeke in between takes, seeing him get along with Levi and Hange, there’s some part of it that taints the entire premise of things together.

Eren pushes down the piano keys, his fingers nearly shaking from the anger, until he feels it. Warm hands looping around his side, accompanied by that flowery smell and your head falling onto his shoulder. Your right hand is on the keys, brushing past both of his as he sighs.

“Hi Eren.”

“Hey.”

Eren can feel your prying eyes, big and wide watching him. And Eren knows that you can see it all over his face - the anger sitting in his jaw, his flushed cheeks - and it embarasses him even more. That you’re here with him, when all he can do is feel rotten.

“Are you writing a song?”

“Mhm.”

“Tell me your writing process. I’ve never written a song before.”

Eren turns to you, giving you a pointed look, because he knows all too well what you’re doing. His own parents have used this tactic on him a hundred times, when he’s panting and heaving from crying so hard. He figures that they think the distraction is helpful, that it’ll subside the wave of emotions in his chest. But sometimes it feels to big, too vast - like an ocean wave he has no capabilities of taming.

“I know that can be kind of a personal thing to ask. I don’t mean to pry, I just wanted to know.” you murmur.

Eren looks over, only to find your eyes cast downward towards the piano and the slightest flush of pink creeping up your neck.

You’re embarrassed. Embarrassed for asking him something personal, for crossing a line you feel you shouldn’t have.

Eren immediately takes his book off of the stand - filled with his ramblings, lyrics, and everything in between - and places it right in your eager hands. And Eren can’t help but feel a warm, simmering in his chest when your downtrodden look is replaced with a bright smile and your hand squeezing his.

Three times.

There’s something entirely bare about doing this with you, like he’s giving you the key and letting you walk right inside of his mind. But he does it regardless, watches your eyes scan over the pages, your fingers running over the marks he’s indented into the paper.

“What song were you just playing?” you murmur, flipping through the little leaflets. You eye the little pictures taped into the pages - one of you next to the words Sweet Creature - that you tuck away to pry about later.

“Ah. This one.”

Eren braces his hands against the piano, the light piano tune filling the air.

I was thinkin' about who you are Your delicate point of view, I Was thinkin' about you I'm not worried about where you are Or who you will go home to, I'm Just thinkin' about you

Eren stops himself short, that block in his throat itching, only to turn to his side and find you smiling at him, his little book of thoughts tucked into your arms, right against your beating heart.

“Eren. You’re a really good singer.” you murmur.

He can feel his own skin flushing, as he brings his hand up to his neck and nervously scratches.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

“Do you mind me asking what the song is about?”

“I know you know, Y/N.” he responds, leaning his face closer to yours.

He feels you set the book down, returning it back to the stand, and watches you lace your arm through his. You’re holding him close to you as you nestle your cheek into his skin, running your hands over each of his knuckles.

When Eren looks over, he can’t help but smile to himself. There’s something about it, this tiny frown that you sport, that Eren sincerely adores. Eren can’t help but want to touch your skin then and there, to smooth those little creases away with his fingers until you smile again.

And naturally, it’s very irritating for Eren that you still look pretty when you frown. And when you smile. And every other expression in between.

“I know. But you should still tell me anyway.” you murmur.

“I’m okay, Y/N.”

“Eren.” you whine.

“I know you know. And it’s okay…it’s complicated.” he sighs.

Eren doesn’t know how to explain the vastness of it to you. That Eren can simultaneously be mad at his brother but want nothing more to be around him. That he can hate him for what he did, for pulling away, when Eren had no intentions of leaving him alone. That he never wants to see him again, that his presence is aggravating in itself.

“You…you promise it’s okay? That you don’t want to talk about it because-”

Eren leans forward, his eyes burning as he looks into yours, your lips a few feet away from one another.

“You’ve got me, right?”

“Huh?”

“You’ve got me, if I need you?”

“Of course, I do.” you respond, not even a beat in between your words.

“Good. Then, I’m okay.”

Eren gives you a warm smile, one that leaves you in a fit of your own confusion, as he braces his hands against the piano again, playing the light tune into the air. And when you walk away, giving him one last squeeze on the shoulder, before leaving him alone on set once again, Eren scribbles his last thought into the book before walking away.

That he thinks he loves you.

Eren’s shaken out of his own memory, leaving it in his graveyard of other haunting memories, as he hears the pitter pattering of footsteps behind him. He looks up to find Gabi and Falco, sitting together on the floor, knees to his chest.

Eren can immediately clock that Falco has been crying. And Eren realizes immediately that Gabi ran to his defense. It almost feels like the two of them are mocking him, though watching them interact even in the slightest had Eren feeling that ..

Gabi, the horrifying menace that he is, is possibly one of Eren’s favorite people ever. Not only is she determined, bold, and stubbornly loyal, but she is quite possibly the only person who could be considered a bigger fan of you than Eren was.

Which was saying something.

“Falco. It’s okay. You-you didn’t hear the entire conversation.” Gabi coaxes, a soft frown on her face.

Eren’s well aware that he sees himself and you a little bit too much in Gabi and Falco, but the fact that Gabi quite literally sports the same frown that you do is enough to give him a chill. And annoy him even more. Even if he tries to forget, Eren has no choice but to remember.

He supposes some part of it is romantic, almost. That no matter how far you are, Eren can see you everywhere. That opening the fridge reminds him of the time the two of you danced in the kitchen, that driving reminds him of all the times he had to commandeer that shitty bike with you, that the moon rises into the sky and that it makes the tattoo on his skin burn.

“I heard enough. She doesn’t even believe in me. Not even in the slightest.”

“Falco. You’re amazing. And she knows that. Maybe you should talk to her about-”

“I get that she’s hurt from everything that happened. But does that give her any right to be mean to me? To think I can’t do this because-”

Eren walks up, sitting criss crossed on the floor across from the two of them. Falco gives him a halfhearted smile, infinitely better than any interaction he’s had with Colt in the entire three weeks they’ve been here, as Eren hikes his knees to his chest.

“Hey Falco, Gabi.”

“Hi Eren.” he sniffles, Gabi’s hand still firm on his shoulder.

“Want to tell me what’s going on?”

“Not really.” he grumbles.

“Shame. You know, I can be quite wise sometimes.”

“Yeah. He’s got hobo wisdom.” Gabi adds, eliciting a laugh from Falco.

Eren reaches forward to flick Gabi on the forehead, which she immediately swats off. A rather affectionate term Gabi had coined, for the rather unfortunate makeover that Levi had given him for the Marley arc.

Eren’s half convinced Levi made everyone look better and him worse as his final act of vengeance on your behalf. Because even Eren’s not stupid and is well aware that Levi will be enacting some mildly annoying revenge on him for the rest of his life, for hurting you for even a second. Which he can take. Because he deserves it.

“I had a fight with Y/N.”

Eren swallows hard, throat dry at the fact that the person they were talking about was you. Meaning, you were back, only a few feet away from where he was sitting right now.

“Falco’s misinterpreting it, I think.”

“Leave it to you to side with my sister, Gabi.”

“Hey. I’m just trying to play devil's advocate. You need that sometimes.”

Sometimes being the devil's advocate is being on your side.

Eren shakes your voice from his head, as he focuses back on the two of them.

“Y/N doesn’t want me to be here. She had a fight with Levi when she found out he picked me and Colt after we auditioned. She thinks it's the ultimate punishment that I’m here, that she has to share this with me.”

Eren swallows hard. And immediately back tracks on your behalf, because if Eren knows one thing about you, it’s that fighting with Falco must be tearing you up in more ways than one. That being here alone is hard enough for you, but your one source of comfort being ripped couldn't be helpful either.

Eren’s also positive that Levi is smoldering somewhere. That his great plan is backfiring. Because Levi did cast Falco and Colt because they were the best audition, but he also cast them because he knew having them here would make it infinitely easier for you.

Or so he thought.

“Your sister doesn’t want you to be here. But it’s not for some selfish reason or because she doesn’t believe in you. Trust me, your sister is your biggest supporter.” Eren states

“Yeah, Falco. You know that she loves you.” Gabi adds, giving him a weak smile as she laces their hands together.

Eren wonders if Gabi squeezes Falco’s hand. If she squeezes three times, because saying I love you, the thought of sharing that is so suffocating that she has to do it that way.

“The only reason she doesn’t want you here is because she doesn’t want you to suffer. She-she loves you how you are. Excited, energetic, you-you’re very lively, Falco. Some people see that and they…they want to stamp that out of you.” Eren says, voice burning in his chest as he talks.

“Your sister just wants you to stay you. And you, quite possibly, are the only thing she can’t afford to lose. You mean too much to her.” he adds.

“That’s not true. She felt that way about you too.” Falco adds.

Falco’s eyes immediately go wide, cheeks pink, as he reaches forward and places a hand on his knee.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean that in an insulting way, I meant that as-”

Eren smiles. At times, Eren feels almost like the entire time he had spent with you wasn’t real. It’s so far off in his mind, the situation so convoluted and messy now that at times it feels like it’s all a figment of his imagination. But the small reminders - a fan account, Falco’s admissions - they’re enough to remind Eren.

That he’s not crazy. That you loved him and he loved you.

It’s a double edged sword. He’s not sure if it’s worse to know he loved you and lost you or to have it feel like your love was never real at all.

He supposes he’ll have his answer when he inevitably sees you, in the flesh again. Not stricken by grief, somewhat in full feeling again.

“I know what you meant, Falco. Do you know what I meant?”

Falco sighs.

“I…I want to. But she literally said, Falco isn’t strong enough for this. She thinks I’m weak.”

“Or…she’s been through it herself. And she knows that people will push you, past your breaking points and expect you to keep going. It’s not about whether or not you’re talented, it’s…it’s almost that you’re too talented. She knows people will love you. That they’ll watch you and see you as something like that.”

The pit of it is burning in his stomach. The information that he’s sitting on, that he could share with Falco right now. But he knows that it’s not the right time. That it would require him to throw Lana under the bus, that he isn’t even ready to say everything all together, that he’ll tell you, and Falco and Armin when the time is right.

“But she knows that this is something that’s hard to stomach. And it’s less that she thinks you’re not strong enough to handle it, it’s that she doesn’t want you to have be.” Eren states.

“Good shit, Eren.” Gabi states, giving him a wide smile. Falco laughs at her brashness, the smallest makings of a smile on Falco’s face.

Falco’s ruminating over his words this time, some semblance of them sticking, as he gives him a sigh and a halfhearted smile before standing up.

“How about we go eat something, Falco? You can think about everything Eren said. Everything I said and we….we can just take a walk after.”

If you and Eren’s thing was biking and getting slushies, then Falco and Gabi’s was walking and talking.

“Okay.”

Eren watches the two of them walk off into the distance, the way their hands brush against each other as they amble towards the door, how they never link together, and swallows hard.

At the fact that not only would his memories be constant reminders, but that Falco and Gabi are going to be a constant representation.

Of what he had. And what he had to give up.

You march down the hall, feet dragging you to your childhood bedroom, as the waves of the argument have subside in your chest. You can feel the skin around your eyes stinging, your cheeks swollen and pink, as you turn to the signs with Connie’s handwriting and groan.

Jean and Mikasa (please fuck quietly)

Eren and Y/N (y’all are fucked up for this)

You must have been too loud, because suddenly both doors are swinging open, Jean coming out of one and Connie out of the other.

“Princess! You’re back!”

You pull back, resting your hands on both of his biceps as you squeeze. At Connie, less grief-stricken and pale, but more lively and loving.

The way he used to be.

“Hi Connie.” you respond, giving him a smile back.

“I’d know that moaning groaning sound anywhere.” Connie states.

“That sounds inappropriate, Connie.” Jean grumbles, giving you a smile.

The two of them stand in front of you, towering over you, as they give you smiles. Which is when you realize that they both look drastically different.

Connie’s hair is significantly balder. And Jean has a fucking mullet.

“Oh my god. You have a mul-”

“Before you say ANYTHING, he is very gorgeous to me.” Connie states, giving you an accusatory finger.

“Con-”

“I don’t care WHAT you say. He’s in the top three of my tentative glow-up ranking for this season.”

“Nothing you just said was English. Like not even one sentence of it.” you state.

“Have you read the script yet?” Jean asks, giving you a helpful smile.

“No, they haven’t given me mine yet.” ‘

“Well, we’re doing a big time skip. And to sell the image - even though we’re literally not teenagers anymore - they’re all giving us different haircuts.”

“I hope for Armin’s sake that he’s at the top of that list.” you murmur.

You hear a set of footsteps behind you, only to find Mikasa and Sasha with bags hanging from both of their arms, the pair of them panting and heaving. Jean’s quick to take Mikasa’s bags, which has Sasha berating Connie for not running to do the same.

“Princess! Welcome back.” Sasha states, pressing a wet kiss to your cheeks as Connie - making his annoyance very clear - takes the bags from Sasha and sets them down in Mikasa’s room.

“Thanks, Sash. I love your hair.” you state, giving her the warmest smile you can muster.

“God. I am fucking starving. First of all, these stupid fucking dress shops give out the measliest little chocolates. Like, we’re there for six hours, the least they could do was give me the whole box. And every time I asked for seconds, Mikasa’s stupid maid of honor started giving me a whole lecture about it.” Sasha grumbles.

You swallow hard.

Mikasa’s maid of honor.

You turn to your left, to find Jean with a rather awkward look on his face, as Mikasa’s eyes go wide. You try to shake off the discomfort, the annoying tears that are trying to pool in your eyes, as you turn to Sasha.

At the fact that Mikasa found a replacement for you.

You’re in the kitchen when Mikasa approaches you, the light glow on your cheeks making you smile so hard that it hurts.

That Mikasa is engaged. The ring is glimmering on her finger, as you beckon for her to walk closer to you and you take her hand in yours.

“I didn’t get a second to properly admire it with all those idiots around.” you murmur, her soft hands in yours.

The ring is simple. A circular cut diamond with a gold band. And entirely Jean and Mikasa. You recall Jean harassing you at nearly turn leading up to the day, but seeing it here and now, on her hand instead of that stupid plastic mannequin, you can really see Jean’s vision.

That it’s perfect for her.

“It’s beautiful, Mikasa.”

“I know you helped him. God knows he was probably having a panic attack at the store.”

“Oh, he totally was. But he picked that one out on his own and fully stopped entertaining other ones when his eye caught that one. He said he knew it was the perfect one for you.”

“Jean can be really cheesy.” Mikasa states, her cheeks dusted pink as she pushes down the pleats of her dress.

“I think it’s really sweet. You’re made for each other.”

She smiles hard, her eyes watery again.

“You really think so?”

“Are you really asking me that after you already said yes, Mikasa?”

“I mean, I’m sure of my decision. But your opinion, what you think means a lot to me. Especially if you’re going to be my maid of honor.”

You drop the knife in your hand against your plate, eyes wide as you look at her. At the way the light is catching in her hair, at the smug smiley look on her face.

“No fucking way.”

“You can’t be serious. It was always going to be you…you’re like my person!” she states, wrapping her arms around you. You squeeze her tight in her arms, earning a groaning sound from her, as you feel the excitement course through you.

“Mika. I would love to be your maid of honor.”

“Well, good. Because there’s no one else who could do it. The only person I want being up there with me is you.”

You realize now that the premise is world’s away. Which was a given. Mikasa had gone all the way and had an entire engagement party, meaning she needed someone to fill the role. And it wasn’t like she could exactly tell you, you barely even gave her the time of day when things were going down.

“I’m hungry too. I’ll come down with you in a second, yeah?”

She gives you an affirmative nod, as she skips down the hall and down the steps. You turn to Connie and eye your bags still in the hall.

“Do you know who Colt is sharing a room with Connie?”

“Galliard.”

“Who?”

“Ah, the Brit. He’s real funny, I think you’ll like him.”

“Ah, okay. Well, I think I’ll ask him if he can share with Eren instead. And I-”

“Y/N. You can still share with Mikasa.” Jean states, eyes wide.

You swallow hard, the embarrassment coursing through you.

“No, I-I insist. You guys should share. You-you are getting married and all! Wouldn’t want to rain on your parade and all that. And Colt’s my brother, I’ll be comfortable with him, so-”

“I’ll help you move your bags.” Connie states, dragging your bags down the hall.

You’re eternally grateful for Connie and him catching on fast enough. Jean follows in tow, giving Mikasa a look over his shoulder, as the two of you stand awkwardly in the hall. You turn to look at her.

“You didn’t get a haircut?” you ask.

“Ah. Um, Levi and Hange are actually letting me use a wig.”

“That’s right. Jean always imagined you with your hair long at your wedding.”

Mikasa smiles, so wide, that you swear there’s tears gathering in her eyes.

“I didn’t realize he had told you that.” she murmurs.

“Jean can’t help but talk about you. He mentioned it to me in passing once.”

You both awkwardly swallow, as you rub your hands on your biceps. There’s a tension in the air between the two of you, one that you weren’t really expecting, that settles deep into your bones.

“Well, Sash is probably waiting so I’ll-”

“Yeah, yeah sure. No problem.”

“It’s nice to see you again, Mika.”

“You too.” she responds, as you swallow that salty feeling in your throat and pad down the stairs.

Eren is interrupted by an incessant pounding on his door, only to find Armin standing there with an excited look on his face.

“Hey. What’s up, ‘Min?”

“Erwin gave me a really cool gift, do you want to see?”

Eren nods, opening up the door, as Armin pads into the room. You and Mikasa are sprawled on Eren’s bedroom floor, the two of you typing away at something on Mikasa’s laptop, while Marco and Jean play a very intense game of go-fish.

Armin gestures for everyone to join him on the floor, as everyone lazily turns their head towards them. He opens up the box, filled with stacks of polaroids, and sets the camera on top.

“What is it?” you ask, as Armin excitedly runs his fingers across the pictures.

“Erwin just gave it to me. He said that when he went to the SHWA, one of his favorite things to do was capture all the memories, so that he’d never forget them.”

Eren digs his hand into the box, the first polaroid he pulls out being one of Levi and Hange, significantly younger. Hange’s excitedly pinching Levi’s cheeks, while he all but glares at her.

“Woah. This one is of Levi and Hange.”

“Is this before they were dating?” you ask, turning your eyes towards Eren.

“Mhm. They’re way younger here, they only started dating after La La Land.

Eren watches your eyes swell, as you run your fingers over the picture.

“Wait, that’s so sweet. That they have all these pictures together, before they were even in love. Like..like they were always meant to be together.”

Jean leans forward, flicking you on the forehead.

“You’re a sap.” he states.

“Says you, asshole.” you respond, glaring at him.

Eren ignores the two of you, digging into the box with Armin as the two of them run their fingers over all the pictures. Of Satoru Gojo, holding a hand out over Levi’s head to mimic how short he is, Erwin and Nanami drinking tea on set, Shoko and Miche smoking a cigarette.

“The first picture that Erwin ever took on the polaroid was this one.” Armin states, handing it to him.

The picture is of him and Levi, the two of them sitting on the floor with their knees hiked to his chest. Unlike any of the other ones, Levi and Erwin are actually smiling, as opposed to their usual smoldering looks that they sport.

“I want the first one I take to be of us, like this.” Armin states, giving him a bright smile.

Eren excitedly nods, tapping on Mikasa’s shoulder, and breaking her out of the pictures she was looking at with Marco.

“Mika.”

“Hm?”

“Can you take a picture of us like this?” he asks, handing her the picture.

She smiles wide, reaching for the camera as she angles it perfectly and flashes the bright light in both of their faces. Armin and Eren laugh as they reach up, itching their aching eyes, before Mikasa holds both of the pictures out to them, side by side.

“God. You’re like their little proteges.” Mikasa states, handing them the pictures.

“Do you need help?” Eren asks.

Armin turns his head, eyes wide and filled with a twinge of detachment that Eren absolutely despises. He’s been finnicking with his polaroid camera - the new one that Eren had bought him - for the past twenty minutes.

“I have extra film if you need it. It’s a weird way to kind of load it in these cameras but-” Eren says, standing up to reach for the camera.

“Well, I’d be able to do it if I still had my camera, wouldn’t I?” Armin seethes, glaring at him as he sets the camera down and angrily paces to the other side of the room.

Eren swallows hard, the sting burning as he swallows hard. Eren prays that Hange and Levi show up any moment to give Armin his script, so that he can retreat to the room with the two of them for the rest of the day and finish writing the script with them.

“I’m sorry.” Eren adds, for what feels like the hundredth time.

Granted, Eren doesn’t think there’s a quantifiable number, a tangible amount of times he could say sorry that Armin would forgive him. And Eren, in earnest, can’t even blame him because he can barely forgive himself.

For getting so carried away.

Eren lifts the camera, dislodging the film from the camera, before inserting it correctly. There’s a click as it slides into place and Eren gently puts the camera down, as Connie walks up to his side.

“Hi Eren.” Connie states, giving him a very hard smack on the back.

“Ow, Connie.”

“My bad. It’s just my humongous fucking biceps, I can’t even cont-”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay, Connie. Pipe it down like the notches.” Eren states, shoving him off to the side.

Connie settles into the couch next to Eren, as Eren can’t help but nervously shake his legs, from Armin’s pacing around the room. He’s picked up the camera from the table, fidgeting with it in its hands as he gets used to the new settings.

No matter how much Eren tried, he couldn’t find the same brand of camera that Erwin had bought Armin all those years. Of course, Erwin had opted for something vintage and of course, something that Eren wouldn’t be able to replicate. Eren had opted for the next big thing, the camera models that Erwin had designed with the polaroid company, as a special.

Because if he can’t have the exact camera Erwin gave him, he can still tie it to him in some way. And it in no way takes away what Eren did, but he hopes it rebuilds the tiniest of bridges between them.

“I like the new camera, Armin.” Connie states, giving him a smile.

Fuck.

“It’s kind of shitty. It’s not really working.” Armin states, Eren’s skin burning at the seething look that Armin’s giving him.

“Well, we’ll help you figure it ou-”

“What’s your deal, Connie?” Armin asks.

Connie’s taken aback, awkwardly laughing, as he lifts his hands up.

“Huh? What ever do you mean, good sir?” Connie asks, mimicking Galliard’s stupid British accent, an increasingly irritating habit of his.

“What kind of shitty game are you playing right now? Pretending like things are fine.” Armin asks.

Connie sighs, Eren sensing the tiniest bit of frustrations in Connie’s shoulders. In the past few months, one of the only things that Connie had been looking forward to was coming back here. An opportunity for him to get back into his roots, to be around people who would support him, before he got back out there.

Before they all did. In a way they never really had before.

And it was increasingly frustrating and even debilitating for Connie to realize that things were different when he got here. Because Armin was still harboring his hatred for Eren, he found out that Mikasa had taken Y/N out of her wedding party, that Y/N was coming back later than everyone else, that really the past few years had caught up to everyone the way they had to him.

Except he was the only one, besides maybe Eren, who was trying to go back for it. And it was increasingly frustrating for him, when no one met him where he was.

“Look, Armin. I think we should all just cool down and talk about-”

“Talk about what? About how you’re being naive as fuck right now?” Armin asks.

“Forgiving isn’t naive. And there’s a lot that you don’t-”

“How can you even stand Eren, in good faith? He’s the reason that you had to go to rehab, Connie. The reason that you had to stop acting, that you stopped talking to me and Sasha and Marco and-”

“That wasn’t Eren’s fault.” Connie states, doing little to deflate the stupid welts of shame Eren was feeling. It’s one thing to have a shitty voice in your head telling you all the things you’ve done wrong. And it’s an entirely different one to have the entire world echo it back to you.

But worst of all is realizing your best friend echoes the same thoughts, shares the same sentiments that are buried in the shittiest parts of your brain.

“How was it not Eren’s fault? He decided to start working with horrible people, he was the one who decided to date Hyla and backstab Y/N and-”

“Armin. You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about so how about you just quit while you’re at it?”

“I don’t know what I’m talking about. You’re the one who's forgetting everything that he did. All the shitty things he said-”

“Is that what you’re going to play victim about? I can promise you, that measly little argument we had out there where he broke your camera is fucking childsplay to half of the shit that Eren and I saw when we were there. You’re lucky that you left the second you did because-”

Armin shoves Connie into the wall behind him, which has Connie shoving him back. Levi, who has cosmically perfect timing, yanks Armin off while Eren grabs Connie, bracing his hands on his shoulders.

“Connie. Quit it, man. You’re better than this, he doesn’t-”

“What right does he have to say that to us, Eren? He doesn’t even know what it was like being there, with those people and-”

“I know, I know, man. Just, he doesn’t know. And he doesn’t mean it, he’s just hurt about-” Eren whispers, as Hange walks Armin out of the room and Levi joins them at their side.

“Are you okay, Connie? Do you feel like you have to-” Levi asks, not daring to say the word.

“No. No, I’ve been good for today, but I just-”

“Okay, Connie. Let’s not talk about it. We should head to set anyways, they’re going to be filming soon. We can watch.” Eren states, his hand firm on Connie’s shoulder as the two of them trot out of the room.

Sasha trots into your room on an odd Thursday night. You and Eren are nearly tangled up in the bed, his hand brushing through your hair as she gives you a meek look from the doorway. She has a rather meek look on her face, almost shy.

“Hey, Y/N. Do you have a second?”

You look up, Eren’s warm hand on your neck. And it’s the fact that she’s here and not wreaking havoc with Connie, with that awkward look on her face, that sets off the first alarms to you.

“Yes. Eren, get out.”

“Um. What happened to please? Please, oh sweet love of my life, sunshine boy of mine?”

“Eren, love. Get out. I’m being serious.” you respond, giving him a narrowed look with your eyes.

He catches on quickly, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek and Sasha a squeeze on the shoulder as he pads out of your room. You tap the spot to your left where Eren was just sitting, as Sasha climbs onto the bed next to you.

“Ew. His spot is all warm.”

“Yeah. He’s like a human heater, sometimes I have to shift away from him while we’re sleeping because I literally start sweating.”

Sasha lies down flat on the bed, eyes fixed on your ceiling, as you follow suit and cross your own hands across your chest. The silence hangs in the air between you, as you wait for her to break first.

“Do you think I’m pretty, Y/N?” Sasha asks.

“What? Of course, I think you’re pretty.”

“I-I don’t mean in a friend way. Do you think guys think I’m pretty?”

She turns over on her side, resting her face against her arm as she looks at you. You mimic her motions again, noting the welling of tears in her usually bright eyes, as your heart drops.

At sweet Sasha, asking you something like this.

“Sash.”

“I was online earlier. And I-I guess I never noticed that everyone on the cast seems to be…coupled up. Or at least the girls are.”

“That’s not true, Sasha. What about Historia?”

“Yeah, but that’s different. Reiner had a crush on her. Ymir still does and-and people like her. Really like her. You can’t really say the same about me, can you?”

You sigh. Because you know, deep down, that the thing she’s talking about is one you can’t relate too. And that anything you said could be a deeper salt in the wound. The two of you sit in silence, as you wrack your brain the hardest for the best thing to say, when Sasha tangles her fingers in with yours.

“Thank you.” Sasha murmurs.

“Huh?”

“I was kind of expecting you to do that whole…shitty you’ll find love someday thing. It’s nice to just have someone here sitting with me, letting me feel it.” she states.

“You’re valid in how you feel. And I-I know I’m not the best person to come to about this but-”

“No, but it’s nice. Just to have someone acknowledge it. Sometimes it’s so shitty when people just expect you to be so optimistic about love, expect it to come when you’ve been waiting forever and you just want someone to fucking hold you or something.”

You open up your arms, which she rolls her eyes at, before smiling and tangling into your arms. It’s then that you see the picture of you and Levi taped on the wall and remember his letters, the one’s he gave you to write the song with for the vow renewal. And the idea springs to your mind.

You dig the letter out, the one where Levi detailed how special Hange was to him, that she made him feel real and loveable and give it to Sasha for the night. And when she trots out of your room, you immediately head to Levi’s room and knock on his door to ask him for what might be your biggest favor yet.

Naturally, he obliges. And takes Sasha out on a date, to make sure that her standards are set straight, whenever someone does come in her life.

You try to fight the embarrassingly large smile on your face as you watch Sasha from a distance, with the tall haired blonde who you’re told is Nicolo. And you know you’re not reaching, because it would be obvious to anyone with eyes that something was going on there.

Things were drastically different. But some of them are for the better.

You hear a set of footsteps behind you, only to find Falco and Gabi, the girl from the polaroid, standing behind you. Falco has a rather awkward look on his face, surely from the fight not fight the two of you were having, while Gabi has her hands behind her back.

You give the two of them a warm smile, and notice Falco visibly deflate, as you tap the floor in front of you. You’re only halfway through the script, not having reached the scenes they were filming today or even your appearance in the show.

“I’m Y/N. Falco’s sister. It’s really nice to meet you.”

“I-I know who you are.” she states, her voice awkwardly rambling as her cheeks flush pink.

“I know who you are too! Something we have in common.” you respond, giving her a smile.

She reaches forward, shaking your extended hand, and you notice how clammy her hand is against yours. Or really, that her entire demeanor seems to be off. This seems less like the Gabi you had been hearing about, bold and confident on the set.

“I have something…really weird to tell you.” she states, mumbling.

“What’s up?”

“Please don’t think this is weird or anything. But you’re a really big role model for me. And-and you always have been.”

Oh. Oh.

It’s at this moment that you realize what’s happening. And it’s only something you can recognize because you too used to be that awkward mess of feelings for Hange. Your heart warms in the biggest of senses, that she wasn’t in that group of people who hated you, at least you didn’t think she was from the way she was acting.

“Gabi. It truly means the world to me that you say that.” you respond, putting a hand on her shoulder and squeezing.

“Really? I-I was so scared I was going to weird you out and you were going to hate me. I-I was most excited to see you when I got here, I’ve been listening to your songs since I was little and I feel like you’ve helped me through so much that I just-”

“You haven’t weirded me out at all. This is very special to me, that you-you feel this way. I’m glad that anything I have done was able to reach you, even if it was in the smallest of ways.”

She deflates, that awkward tension in her shoulders leaving and being replaced by tears wellington in your eyes. You’re not sure why but the entire reaction has tears welling in your eyes, as you open up your arms which she all but dives into.

“Can I ask you for a weird favor?” Gabi asks, climbing out of your arms as she returns to her seat next to Falco.

“Anything.”

She pulls out the sleeve from behind her back and you try your best to swallow that disgusting, acidic venom in your throat. She hands you her copy of The Lucky One vinyl, the vinyls that were specifically distributed without your permissions.

Vinyls that you didn’t even make a cent off of. That put millions of dollars into the pockets of the two people that you hated the most.

“I have signed copies of all of your vinyls. Except for this one. I was wondering if yo-”

“Sure. Do you have a pen?” you ask, fighting the discomfort in your skin.

You open up the sleeve, ignoring the picture of all of you on the front, as you write.

Gabi,

I feel like I’m the Lucky One for getting to meet you. I can’t wait to see where you go from here.

Love,

Y/N

You shut the vinyl quickly, handing it to her, and murmuring something about being hungry as you shuffle away to the snack table. You don’t miss her excited face, the way she excitedly grabs onto Falco’s shoulder, as she reads it to him.

Levi rings the bell, calling for them to take their cues, as you settle into the chair. Colt, Gabi, Udo, and Zofia stand on their marks, as Zofia crawls under the rock placed there. You can see that she’s coated in set makeup, blood running down the side of her face, as Levi yells action.

“Get up, Gabi! Udo!” Colt screams, picking up the two of them in their hands.

There’s tons of extras running in the peripheral, the sound loud and jarring as they all scream.

“Stand up! Hurry!” Colt says.

Gabi turns her head, a quarter of the way, to where Zofia’s laying under the rock, and that’s when you realize it.

That Zofia’s character just died.

“Zofia?” Gabi states, her voice so painstakingly grating that it makes you flinch and your throat immediately dry.

Udo runs to the side of the rock, bracing his hands on it, as he screams and you realize too quickly what’s about to happen.

“Hurry, we have to lift this!”

Except the extras march perfectly around Udo, just to knock him down, before they all mimic running over them. You quickly notice the makeup team run in as the camera focuses on the people running, and what you assume is going to be Eren’s titan, as they drench Udo in red dye, cacking it onto his porcelain skin.

And when you hear it, it’s enough to make your stomach hurt, to have the contents in your just about ready to come up.

It’s Gabi. Sweet, soft Gabi letting out an ear splitting scream, as Colt holds her close. The looks on both of their faces are so blank, so dead that it’s enough to sprout tears to your eyes, that quickly fall down your cheeks.

Levi quickly calls cut, as Udo and Zofia stand up from their marks, and come out laughing. They’re both still caked in their red makeup, giving each other high fives, when all you can do is clutch your chest in pain, at that painstakingly painful feeling in your chest.

And you’re not sure what exactly it is. That’s bringing this up for you. Until one of them says it, in passing. And you know they’re just kids, that they mean well, but it hits you so hard that the entire events of the day come crashing down in one second.

“God, Udo. You’re messed up. This is a horribly fucked up version of the Lion King.” she states, placing her hands on her hips.

“Shut up, Zofia. We both know that your death was way worse than mine. You basically suffocated to death under that lame ass rock.”

Udo and Zofia remind you too much of Marco. Too much of filming that scene, all those years ago and being blind sided by it. By walking into the set thinking you were going to watch something normal, only to watch one of your best friends pretend to die.

Only for him to really die years later. By suffocating to death, under the crush of the metal.

Your cries are muffled by arms coming around you, quickly rushing you out into the cold air of the set as they continue to film inside. The embrace is warm, accompanied by soft words you can’t even barely hear, with the sound of the blood rushing in your ears.

It’s all consuming. That’s the shitty thing about your grief. It’s buried deep into the pits of your heart and just when you think you’ve moved past it, when it’s standing behind you and you’ve grown past it, it hits you in full flesh when you least expect it. Leaving you debilitated, paralyzed.

Alone.

You only clock that it’s Eren from the smell. It’s clean and minty - a mix of his laundry and the deodorant he wears - as he only brings his arms around you harder, his voice finally coming into recognition in your ears.

“Y/N. You’re okay. It’s okay, you-”

You try to respond, only to let out a garbled sound. Eren pulls back slightly, the entire image of him, that overwhelming pounding in your chest and him catching you off guard.

“I’ve got you. No one saw, we don’t need to go back and-

Eren’s hair is long. So long that it’s secured into a small bun in the back of his hair. And as always, his eyes are washed over in concern, his hands rubbing small circles into your skin as he all but stares you down.

“Er-”

“I know. You don’t have to say anything. It reminded me of him too.”

“I just-”

You come up short on words as Eren expectantly looks at you, waiting to hear what’s on your mind. And you can’t even fathom that feeling into words if you wanted to.

“I don’t want to go back.”

“Okay. Let’s take lunch.” he states, gesturing to you to walk towards the townhouse with him.

You give Eren a meek nod, as the tears continue to pour from your eyes and that hollow feeling fills your chest. The two of you walk in silence, Eren not taking his hand off of your wrist as you pad back into the townhouse, completely deserted.

Eren’s quick to move, shuffling around the kitchen, as you lean against the counter with your head in your hands.

“Do you want me to get you anything? I’m making ramen but it’s still boiling.” he asks, setting a glass of water by your side.

“No mushrooms, Eren.” you state, glaring.

“I remember, Y/N.” he says, so softly that it stings.

And a few minutes later, the two of you are sitting side by side at the table, with the steaming bowls of ramen in your hands. And the entire events of the say, each stinging thorn in your side, are the only reason you can fathom as to why you talk to Eren, of all people.

“I feel like I’m trying really hard to be my old self again, Eren.” you state.

You look over at him and he doesn’t respond, only giving you a nod, like he’s asking you to keep going.

“I-I want to be how we all used to be. But it’s like that person I was, those feelings I had, they’re all buried somewhere deep in my head and I can’t find it. And I hate to think that she’s gone. That she has no place here anymore.”

You move your chopsticks around in the bowl, through Eren’s perfectly diced vegetables and sigh.

“Every person I look at, all I can do is remember everything. How it used to be.” you state.

Eren looks to his left, at you staring at him with your big, tear filled eyes, and swallows hard. And thinks hard and deep, at everything that’s changed.

He leans forward, crushing your hand in his own, and hopes that the message gets across to you. And when you lean your head against his shoulder, he’s positive that it does.

Eren relishes in the one thing that seems to remain. You, sitting next to him.

next part linked here

an: ALRIGHT BABY GIRLS. buckle in. the next chapter is called the new romantics! dare I say....the next chapter has the F word.........FLUFF WITH A CAPITAL F

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@k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @squirrelspoetry @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi @najaemism @ilovekimchi123 @youraggedybitch

pls comment on this post or any of the chapters if you want to be added to the taglist <3

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rowdyslove · 8 months

Text

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐑𝐘. | quinn hughes

꒰ pairing: quinn hughes x genderneutral!reader

꒰ genre: angst + fluff ;exes!au, exes to lovers trope | short oneshot

꒰ synopsis: after four years, going back to the hughes lake house for the summer brings back many emotions & memories from the past—especially the memories of you and your ex-boyfriend.

꒰ word count: 2.4k

꒰ author’s note: i just love the idea of ex lovers reuniting and giving each other a second chance :((( i think it’s so sweet, so this one i’m kind of very proud of :D

the time was around 3:00am, and as no surprise to you, you couldn’t sleep at all.

maybe it could have been because of the immense amount of happiness you were feeling due to it being your first night back at the hughes lake house for the summer with all your best friends.

this day had been your first day back with everyone since the incident that occured with one particular boy from the group four years ago.

and you thought you would’ve been completely fine, spending the whole summer back here just like you used to. everything should’ve been okay—except for the fact that the particular boy from four years ago, being the oldest of the hughes brothers, was now your ex-boyfriend and was very present in the house.

you honestly should’ve been able to move on from the boy by now. that’s why you decided to come back to the lake house. it’s been an entire four years, but you still found your mind clouding over with memories of you and quinn all the time.

you saw him almost everywhere you looked. always seeing him on the tv, either in a game of hockey against one of the many other teams or doing an interview for sports channels. you felt like there was just no escaping him no matter how hard you tried.

the cool breeze from the wind and the serene still-state of the lake was just enough to calm your mind-racing thoughts for the time being.

the moon had taken it’s bright spot over the sky, stars littering all around it, offering you bits of company as you sat on the dock by yourself. the sounds of water lapping against the bottom of the hughes family boat was the only thing you could hear. the air bouncing off of the lake comes cooler and the light gusts of wind leave goosebumps trailing down your arms. your breathing was smooth and stable, smelling the burning scent of the campfire that was still floating through the air, even after it had been put out.

the slightest sound of soft whispers being carried through the wind hits your ears, almost as if the sky was asking how you were doing; asking if you were okay as if the moon and stars could feel the sharp pains coursing within your heart.

you wanted to be honest, saying that you haven’t been okay for a while now. saying that you missed the way that the stars had painted the sky so brightly the night that quinn had kissed you for the first time on the very same dock those many years ago.

everything about this place just reminded you of him all over again.

through nights quite similar to this one, quinn would’ve been holding you safely in his arms, pressing the sweetest of kisses on your lips in the late hours you would spend together by the lake after sneaking away from the commotions happening in the lake house. he would give you all the comfort you needed, but now you sit there feeling nothing but hurt.

and it feels like the sky is judging you for staying hung up on the same boy you had left behind. but how could you not still be so enamoured with him when there was always love swimming in his eyes whenever he looked at you.

as if the moon could hear your thoughts, quiet footsteps can be heard coming from behind you. the slight creaking of the dock contrasting with the small waves beneath you. you think that you must just be seeing things as you look over your shoulder, watching the dark silhouette draw closer to you and it becomes more and more clear that it is quinn.

even through the fact that you could barely see from the darkness of the night, you feel your chest tightening from the way his hazel-like eyes are so easy to recognize, even in the darkest of hours. you couldn’t move, your body still as he sits down beside you, bringing his knees up and resting his forearms on them.

“look, i just came here to relax. we don’t have to talk or anythi–”

“i couldn’t sleep.” is all he says.

however, he doesn’t tell you that the reason for his sleepless night was because his mind was full of thoughts of you. the thoughts of the many times he had tried to reach out to you after you left him. the amount of unanswered calls and the unreturned efforts you made to come see him when he came home to michigan after being in vancouver.

he was reminded of the times he kept chasing after the love he probably should’ve just left alone.

he heaves intense breaths by you on the dock, everything around him seemingly blurring deep into the background the very moment he finally lets his eyes land on you. looking at you even though he can feel the fear building in his chest of breaking down right there next to you. you don’t catch onto the way his gaze stills on you as you keep your sight on the lake in front of you.

the last time he looked at you through blurry vision and unrequited stares was four years ago. he couldn’t be blamed for thinking that the sight of you right there next to him just like those times so long ago could be a simple figment of his imagination.

“i guess your love for the lake is still there, huh?”

quinn feels almost relieved at the thought of constancy from you. he couldn’t explain the strong emotions that were running through his veins at the fact that he still knew you so well, even after all this time being away from you.

sure, you might’ve been walking with a new kind of confidence around you, and the things you liked may not have been the exact same. but your love for the lake was still there. you still wore your hair up in messy ponytails the way you used to, and you still had the same liking for the kind of comfortably styled clothing.

the love of his life was still the same.

“are you okay?”

he loses himself in your words, and he’s not sure if it’s just the way you had said it, or if it was how genuine your voice sounded as you asked him. but something about the way you looked at him, with the softest gaze he’s ever seen, gives him the courage to answer you.

it’s a question he had heard plenty of times now. from his brothers, his teammates—pretty much everyone around him has asked him the same exact thing. it was a question he could never really answer properly, and even now, he still doesn’t know how to answer it.

but he tries his best to give an answer to you, even if it’s not the most accurate.

quinn couldn’t tell you just how much he was hurting still from losing you. it would be a lie if he said he had not been wondering for the past four years if things could have been easier with you still by his side. it would be another lie if he also said he didn’t feel his heart pounding and butterflies fluttering in his chest the moment he saw you walk in the door of the lake house earlier that day.

“i’ll be okay,” his answer was surprisingly honest. the most honest he could be in the moment.

quinn knew that he would be okay as time passed. and you hummed in agreement quietly to his words, bringing your legs up to hug them against your chest, chin resting gently upon them as the slow breeze continues to blow past the two of you.

“why didn’t you fight harder for us?”

his question caught you off guard, but it was a question you knew you always had the answer to. but the look he gives you seemed like he was not expecting a proper answer; he was just looking for closure. anything he could get in explanation for why you had ended your relationship the way you did.

“i didn’t want to get in the way of your dream.” your answer was something you had memorized in the back of your mind. but you never thought you would ever have to voice it right to him. even then after hearing it from you, he still didn’t seem satisfied with your answer.

“you were apart of that dream though. i wanted you by my side through everything.” the breaks in his voice didn’t do anything to disguise the pain he was obviously feeling.

“i didn’t want you to have to eventually choose between being in the nhl or staying behind with me. i knew what you wanted, and staying with you through it just seemed too difficult at the time.” your voice was more silent, more of a whisper. but quinn felt like he needed it shouted loud and clear at him.

“i never said that it would be easy for us. but i did know that if we tried, we would’ve been able to make it through. you could’ve waited.”

“you were leaving for vancouver that night. i didn’t know exactly when you were coming back, or if we’d even be the same while you were away in a whole different country.” you thought that quinn had let out all he had to say, but you werent prepared for the large pain you would be feeling in your heart at what he said next.

“you know, i was going to ask you to marry me.”

the thought that you had let marriage with quinn slip away just as quickly as you did with your relationship was enough to absolutely break you. especially when he was looking at you, tears shedding down his cheeks he didn’t even know had formed in the first place. the cracks in his voice broke through the peace that the cool breeze was bringing to the both of you.

“i’m so sorry.”

you were aware of everything that you were letting go of that night you walked out on him, and a sob itches at the back of your throat for the life you could’ve had with quinn.

noticing the large set of tears now escaping from your eyes, quinn is quick to pull you into his hold, hands finding the familiar spots on your back that he knew were quick to calm you down.

“i didn’t mean to end things for us the way i did.” the words he heard leave you were heartbreaking. you sounded so defeated.

“i didn’t think we would end like that either. i thought we would never end. i thought that we could get through anything, and be by each other’s side through anything life had in store for us.”

your shoulders felt like they had a large weight on them, physically able to drag you down to the deep depths of the water. it pained you to know how willing he was to make things work with you even through the time that seemed to be the hardest.

“shh, it’s okay.” he hushed down your sobs, pulling from you and holding your cheeks in his palms, using his thumbs to wipe away the tears that refused to stop running down your soft skin.

“i want you to know.. i’m proud of you. for all that you’ve accomplished, you know. i’m so proud of you for reaching your dream.”

it’s the first time you’ve said the words out loud, and it truly felt so good to finally be able to tell him just how proud you were of him, especially with how much time and effort he had put into his passion.

that was your first time smiling that night, even thought it was paired with the messy tears splayed across your cheeks and red puffy eyes , he smiled right back at you. quinn was glad to hear that, even if it wasn’t very direct, your heart still thinks of him always. and then he’s left to wonder if you ever notice the way he kisses the chain you had gifted him on your first year anniversary everytime before he goes on the ice. without ever forgetting, his lips always make contact with the silver, reminding him of one of the dearest people that had stuck with him through all of the cruel training and would take care of him when he ended up overworking himself.

the feeling of having you so close and the sight of the gentle smile on your lips was something quinn never wanted to leave. “i wish we could just start over. but maybe the universe just doesn’t work like that for us..”

“but what if we could try again? what if this time there was no end?”

you notice how his eyes travel between both of yours, then to your lips, and then back to your eyes once more. and the sight of his quivering lips, really the most vulnerable you’ve ever seen the man, has you sucking in a deep breath.

“do you really think we’d be able to make it?”

the hard thumping of your heart grows louder and louder through your ears when he starts leaning in, and you can feel the world around you darkening. the only sight visible being the man sitting right in front of you, and when his forehead lands on yours, you were convinced that you no longer knew how to breathe. “i think we’re worth another try.”

when his hands find their place on your cheeks for the second time that night, this time your eyes flutter closed and you allow your lips to meet his in a slow kiss that you didn’t even know you were yearning for all this time until you actually felt it. it was slow, deep, passionate; every possible emotion was being expressed through the way the two of you kissed each other. your touches clouding your minds until all you can feel is one another. not even the cool breeze in the starry night could be felt anymore.

memories coming back to mind of the same night you shared your first kiss, on the same lake, under the same amount of endless stars, with the same man you loved so long ago. however this time, the both of you are a bit more grown than before.

and now, there is a new memory, where the hope for the two of you is brought back, and the love you once felt so deeply gets to have a second chance.

#—ness writes #quinn hughes #quinn hughes x reader #quinn hughes fluff #quinn hughes imagine #quinn hughes x y/n #quinn hughes angst #quinn hughes oneshot #vancover canucks #nhl fic #nhl oneshot #nhl imagine #nhl x reader #nhl fluff #nhl angst #nhl x y/n

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v3nusxsky · 1 year

Note

Hello love your writing :))

I wanted to ask if you could write a story either about Larissa or Lucifer, they need to punish their partner and they use „longterm“ denial over a whole weekend and reader is just yearning for release after the weekend and Larissa/Lucifer gets soft after the fulfilled punishment and give them the best orgasm ever :)) you can involve other punishment methods as well :) but some cute fluff and praise at the end would be great :) thank you 🔥🥰

Be my good doll 18+

*Authors note~ i choose Larissa purely bc I don’t feel I can write lucifer well but may I highly suggest my darling friend @littledollll who will be able to handle a luci version <3*

Trigger warnings~ long term orgasm denial, mommy kink daddy kink shifted cock oral very smutty smut

Prompt~ see ask^^^^^

✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦

For the past two days all you could think of was her. No one but you would’ve been brave enough to be a brat towards the headmistress of Nevermore, and that’s why you landed up being tied to the bed, a ruthless vibe working diligently between your legs as Larissa watched on. Her intense gaze at your leaking cunt truly should’ve made you feel embarrassed but it was having the opposite effect. Larissa would bring you right to the edge only to rip you away from it. If you wanted to act like a whore then you’d certainly be treated like one.

Larissa did this till your brain was nothing but a pile of mush, your whines of need being strictly ignored as your cunt clenched against thin air. “If you want to act like a whore doll then mommy will treat you like one” she all but purred at you, laughing slightly as a few stray tears fell from your eyes, “now now pretty dolls don’t cry, you brought this all on yourself. You’re not to touch or cum until mommy lets you, understood?” Truly her tone alone was leaving no room for any kind of arguments, you nodded and attempted to gain control over your emotions. You knew you could safe word, but this was a punishment and safe wording just to avoid it was wrong. Larissa untied you and cradled you in her lap, wrapping their arms tightly around you in comfort.

That was two days ago, you were feeling like you’d explode if you’re honest. Nothing you did would quell the burning pit of need within you. You need her to fuck you until your brain was nothing but mush. Larissa didn’t make things easy, every night she mad the habit of teasing you, making sure you thought your punishment was at the end before fucking herself right in front of you, fully on display with ample amount of sound, almost as if she was trying to get you to fail your punishment. You wouldn’t. You shouldn’t t. And you most definitely couldn’t.

Two whole days, you were near enough exploding with need, that’s when you came back into your shared chambers to find your lover in a new lacy set bought specifically for your eyes only. You tried to keep your gaze on her face, you couldn’t allow yourself to fail here. Looking like an angel from heaven she crooked her index finger seductively, her gaze anything innocent, a complete contrast to her Lacy white set. “Mommy?” You whined, your need more evident than you wanted it to be. “Oh my doll, you’ve taken your punishment so well darling. Mommy is so proud of you that she wanted to give you a special treat. Do you like it?” She purred gesturing to her hardly clothed body. “Yes mommy. Thank you” you choked out finally allowing your gaze to run all over her body.

You knew how this would go, Larissa would follow the same routine as any other punishment, it’s something that calmed you. You instantly kneeled next to the bed and looked at your lover, “I’m sorry mommy. I won’t be bratty again in that way. I’m only mommy’s girl I’d never stray” you whimper and you see the way her eyes darken at the last part. “Say it again doll” she teased and you instantly complied. “So you can be a good girl” she mused as if it was the first time, “get up here doll, you know what you need to do to show mommy just how sorry you are.”

After climbing up on the bed, watching Larissa shuffle back into the pillows you gave her a sweet kiss. As the kids deepened the need grew but you knew she had to cum first, to show how truly sorry you were. Larissa allowed you to take her set off piece by piece as you showered her with love and kisses. Only when you made your way down your body did she bring a hand to your hair and tug your head upwards, “mouth only my sweet doll” she warned before allowing you to continue.

When your breath hit her core she gasped, truly the two day punishment was driving her just a mad as you. When your tongue swiped at the wetness there you saw Larissa could’ve cried. You knew just how to please her. Her hands gripping the headboard and her bucking her hips against your face, practically fucking herself on your face, she was able to approach a very much needed climax. When you felt her legs tremble you knew she was close so you gripped onto her hips hard enough to bruise as you guided her movements and moaned around her sensitive clit. With a cry from the older woman you rewarded with a gush of cum from her pretty pussy as it spasmed around your tongue, you making sure to get every last drop.

She caught her breath before managing to move from your face, chuckling at you as your tongue darted around to get any remaining cum it could. “Look at the little cum slut. Are you needy precious girl?” She purred trailing her fingers lightly over your body. “Mommy need so bad” you mumbled trying to stop your voice from quivering as badly as your thighs were. You watched as Larissa surprised you by shifting her female anatomy to male. Truly, the sight was nothing short of magnificent. “Oh fuck mommy? Daddy? Oh fuck” you whined confused on what your girlfriend would prefer.

“Either baby, I don’t mind just pick one” she murmured answering your unasked question. “Daddy please” you whimpered eyeing her cock. “Are you sorry doll?” You whimpered watching her stroke her impressive length, “I’m sorry daddy, I won’t do it again” you pleaded and she could see the truth lingering in your eyes. “I know doll, you took your punishment well baby” she reassured you while lining her cock up with your leaking hole. “Doll, I’m going fuck you okay? It’s a little bigger than the toys because it’s more realistic. I don’t want to hurt you baby. You remember safe word?” She truly meant this. “Yes daddy. It’s red” you stated and she nodded before pushing her length into you slowly.

Tears prickled at your eyes, your inner walls stretching around her even though she stilled her hips allowing you to adjust. “Daddy” you whimpered as a few stray tears fell. “You’re doing so good for me doll, such a good girl for me” she kissed the tears away. Soon enough pain morphed into pleasure and you subconsciously your hips bucked upwards causing your girlfriend to chuckle, “such a needy girl for daddy aren’t you? “

When she started to move, you truly wondered if anything would feel as good as her inside of you. Actually her and not some plastic fake dick. “Oh god doll, so tight for me. Fuck so warm and wet doll, making daddy feel so good” she panted out her, the thrusting of her hips and moans tumbling from her lips stealing her breath. All you could do was whine and mewl at the sensations she provided as you came close to your peak embarrassingly quick. “Daddy please I can’t I need” you whimpered your train of thought jumping around manically. “I know doll let go” she murmured coming to kiss and such on your pulse point. You came with a scream of her name, your cunt squeezing her cock in its vice tight grip as your cum coated it and leaked slightly onto the sheets.

You thought she’d stop there, but she didn’t, she kept fucking you despite the whimpers of “no please daddy no sensitive” you were repeating. “Come on doll give daddy one more” she all but moaned out. And that’s what you did, you came again, squeezing her dick as she spurted cum up into your needy cunt causing an almost pornographic moan to tumble from your lips. And the sensation of peeing ? That was new. “Isa? What oh god did I pee?!” The panic rising through you. “No darling, you squirted love, it’s okay it’s perfectly natural and now I know you can do it I’m going to have so much fun with you” she murmured eyes seemingly transfixed on your sensitive core.

You flopped back against the bed and held an arm over your eyes, “god I’m so embarrassed!” You whined causing Larissa to chuckle at you, “it’s okay baby. Let me change the sheets and then me and my good girl can have a bath can’t we.” A quick kiss placed on your lips as she set about running a bath and changing the sheets, just letting you have your space to come back down to earth. That was one hell of a reward.

Word count~ 1598

#anon answered #v3nusxsky answers #fanfic #larissa weems #larissa weems smut #larissa x reader #larissa x you #larissa weems x reader #principal larissa weems x reader #principal larissa weems #weems #principal weems #weems x reader #principle weems

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wing-ed-thing · 11 months

Text

Konoha 12 with Children Going Through the Same Trauma They Did

Tags/Warnings: Body Image Issues, Grief, Mental Health Topics, Reader Insert, No Reader Pronouns, Mild Physical Abuse (Sorry Sasuke would punt you)

Notes: Boruto who? BORUTO DOESN’T EXIST FOR THESE HEADCANONS.

𓆃 Choji - Body Image

Easily the best at knowing what to say. He’s been struggling with his body image his entire life and has a wonderful grasp on what health specific to his clan looks like.

Choji strives to make topics surrounding weight and body shape normal and neutral in the household, so if you're asking about weight, it’s because some other stupid kid said something.

You are always reminded of your spirit, skills, and capacity for kindness rather than your looks.

Choji ensures that your home is a positive and safe place to talk about anything.

𓆃 Hinata - Finding a Voice

Hinata has always been a very patient person and knows how hard it is to break out of one’s shell. As a parent, she provides a space for you to be heard and to feel safe.

Hinata believes that you can’t force things when it comes to your growth and tries to nurture you until you have the strength to do it on your own.

Not to say that she doesn’t give a little push now and then. Hinata herself always regretted the amount of time it took for her to take chances and be vulnerable with friends, so she gives gentle nudges and reassurance when she can.

𓆃 Ino - Normalcy and Loss

A part of Ino always wanted to be a normal girl. There was a balance between civilian life and shinobi life that she couldn’t quite strike, especially when responsibility was thrust onto her so young.

She’ll want to go out with you often, whether it’s getting sweet drinks, getting your nails painted, asking for the friend-group gossip, or other fun activities.

A part of her craves getting more of those experiences in her youth, but she very much wants you to have those experiences for yourself and to have a consistent parent who “gets you.”

She definitely tries too hard at times— it’s embarrassing sometimes— but she means well.

𓆃 Kiba - Bein’ a Guy

Kiba always had a loud bark, but when it came down to it, he didn’t meet all the goals he intended to meet.

Being the energetic guy he is, he will be rooting for you from day one. Sometimes, you feel he gets more excited about projects and accomplishments than you.

Kiba is always celebrating you and always bragging about you. He’s proud of you that you have goals— big or small— but more than anything, he wants you to live your life in a way that makes you happy.

If you’re happy, Kiba is dragging you out for celebratory ice cream.

𓆃 Lee - Bullying and Inadequacy

Ehm. I mean, he means well?

You see, Gai took a very tough love approach with Lee meaning that Lee thinks if you push hard enough, you’ll find fulfillment... and that’s not for everyone.

He’s also not great with his words. Every so often, he’ll say something encouraging, but sometimes he’s just emotionally clueless.

If anything, you’ll always be celebrated for your uniqueness and what makes you you.

Lee genuinely wants only what’s best for you; his pure intentions are always clear.

𓆃 Naruto - Isolation

Poor Naruto, seeing you isolated would probably make him so sad. And angry, for that matter! Naruto isn’t above punting some jerk kid who made you mad (which probably isn’t great for the Hokage).

He’s a little goofy in the sense that he’ll probably take an over-interest in the things you enjoy. He’ll insist that you do things that interest you together.

He’s also really into pep talks and giving unsolicited advice (that probably isn’t really that great).

Naruto would totally give you pocket money to enjoy a meal if he’s busy.

𓆃 Neji - Unfair Family Dynamic

Well, first of all, Neji isn’t letting this happen.

I’m struggling to write a headcanon because Neji wouldn’t allow this. He wouldn’t allow the secondary-branch stuff to happen.

He’d be a fierce advocate for you, even before birth. But Neji is such a grumpy dad. The affection is there; it’s just through action.

He’s also not very good with words, so the affirmation is straightforward, but he would go to war for you.

𓆃 Sakura - Inadequacy

Your two best friends are also gods, huh? Sakura knows how that is, and she’s probably picked up on it before you tell her.

She’s reticent about things and always seems to tell you exactly what you need at that moment. Sakura is very encouraging, helping you problem-solve to figure out what your strengths and passions are.

She suggests that you pursue those, admiring your accomplishments, whether big or small.

𓆃 Sasuke - Having your family murdered in front of your very own eyes Going Down a Troubled Path

Yikes. Don’t go down a Troubled Path ™ while Sasuke is around.

I’m sorry. If you tried to leave the village, Sasuke wouldn’t be above punting you. I’m just the messenger.

Sasuke would be there for you, or at least try to, but as another shinobi who’s not great with words, he’d usually end up looming.

Maybe there are times when he can see your anger, and you can achieve a nice, quiet moment with him, but Sasuke will drag you out of darkness no matter what it takes.

𓆃 Shikamaru - Losing a Sensei

Shikaku knew best, and that’s what Shikamaru does with you. He’s straight to the point, not very into hugs or anything like that, but he does have an eye on you emotionally.

Shikamaru already knows, and he drives straight to the point, unarming you so that you have a space to feel your grief.

𓆃 Shino - Losing a Sibling-like Person

Another quiet Dad. He just wants what’s best for you too.

It’s all about the memories and the momentos. Shino would encourage you to cope and heal at your own rate but not forget the person important to you.

Shino would be there with you in your grief but ensure the focus remained on you. You would have space, and Shino would show his love and support through small gestures.

𓆃 Tenten - Bein’ a Gal

Tenten stuck a nice balance in her life, and she wants to pass that on to you too! Maybe you’re not the flashiest ninja in your grade, but Tenten is already working with you on a strategy on how to improve that thing you like!

Never for a second has Tenten treated you like something to be overlooked. Anything you want to do, you do!

Zero hesitation. Mention one idea to her; she’s already helping you put it in motion. To her, there’s nothing worth overlooking in the first place.

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed, and supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

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blues824 · 1 year

Note

can you do the dormleaders reacting to a makima!reader from chainsaw man?

I admit it… I simp for Makima. I said it. Gender-neutral reader. Angst.

Riddle Rosehearts

This man thought you were totally normal at first. You were kind, gentle, friendly, and very professional. Basically his dream partner in the flesh. Well, he came to find out that the only reason why you were so close to him was so that you could try and capture him during his overblot to serve as your ‘pet’.

During his overblot, you brought out some of your best devils. It was there that he got a glimpse of how cold and cruel you were. You never cared about him, and that’s what hurt the most. You eventually managed to stop the overblot, but you didn’t care since that was one of the two goals you had in mind.

He feels manipulated, as he should. Sure, you still did care about him, but that wasn’t your main priority. Now he understands why his mother never wanted him to hang around anybody. It was to avoid him from getting hurt.

Leona Kingscholar

He thought you were stuck-up until you showed him how kind you are. Even Ruggie didn’t suspect anything, so why would he have a reason to? Well, he should have because he found out that you were just trying to get him to overblot to see if you could manipulate him into being your ‘pet.

Leona was angry. He was angry at you, everyone else, but most importantly he was angry at himself for not seeing the cold and distant look in your eyes. Of course you wouldn’t be romantically interested in the prince. However, you seemed proud of yourself when your plans went haywire and you instead defeated the overblotting victim rather than captured him.

You betrayed him, and there was no other way to put it. Maybe you did love him; but it didn’t matter considering you put the blot above the beastman himself. The only thing to move past is the fact that you still held his heart in your hands.

Azul Ashengrotto

Mans probably thought it was love at first sight, but no. You were just so kind and ‘genuine’ (not really), there was no way he couldn’t fall hopelessly in love. But, all good things must come to and end in one way or another. He just didn’t know it would be so cruel.

When he overblotted, you were quick to reveal your cold and cunning nature. You had one plan in mind, but two goals in case your plan went south. You wanted to keep the overblot version of Azul as a plaything, but you accidentally defeated him instead. Oh, well.

He wasn’t angry. He was sad. Was this how others felt when he turned around and stabbed them in the back? No, none of them harbored the love that the cecaelia felt for you, and even when you tore his heart out and stomped on it… it still beat for you.

Kalim Al-Asim

His heart soared when he saw you acting so kind. You were the main character in a Disney movie, and he was the love interest in this little story. Your hands were gentle as you cupped his face, a deception that you’ve prepared for a long time.

However, when his Vice Housewarden overblotted, Kalim felt betrayed by both his best friend and now you. Your cold and manipulative side came out to play, and the Housewarden of Scarabia felt as though he was gazing upon a completely different person.

The thing is, his heart was still soaring even with its broken wings. Whenever he was near you, he still got butterflies in his stomach. His mind and Jamil tell him to stray away but his heart tells him to forgive you. And who is he to deny the thing that draws him closer to you?

Vil Schoenheit

He knew there was something more behind that kind facade. He knew he should have listened to his mind when he saw you. But you gave him the right amount of attention at the wrong time. You called him beautiful when he needed to hear it, and this clouded his judgment.

When he overblotted and saw how you really were, he could feel more ink falling from his tear ducts. He was already on an emotional rampage, but to see that you stabbed him in the back set him over the edge. How could you?

Oh, he was understandably angry. He wanted to blame you just as he wanted to blame Neige, but it was just as much his own fault as it was either of yours. He does stay away from you, and tries to avoid you.

Idia Shroud

One of the only ones who had an inkling that you might not be who you seem you are, considering he saw an anime with a character that was very similar to you. Unfortunately, his initial suspicion was wiped away when you acted so kindly towards him.

He shouldn’t have been surprised to find out that you were just trying to capture him while he overblots for your own benefit. He was ashamed for himself for thinking that he could have this little shred of hope, but you just plunged him into despair.

You seemed pretty happy when you defeated his overblot, but he knew that it wasn’t your original plan. Honestly, he couldn’t blame you. If he were in your shoes, he would probably try and do the same thing, considering overblots were a very powerful thing.

Malleus Draconia

His retainers told him to be careful, but he wasn’t. You showed him kindness and friendship and even love, and he was attached almost immediately. He was smart, but you were always 10 steps ahead and he didn’t suspect anything.

However, it was when he witnessed you in battle that he noticed how cold you actually were. You never cared about the people you were helping; you cared about the power that harnessing and overblot victim would bring you.

Malleus realized that he might need to be careful about accumulating blot. If you got control of him if he overblotted, you would have an almost insurmountable amount of power. He is one of the top 5 most powerful mages, after all.

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thisgirlnamedblusy · 9 months

Note

Hi! Hope you're well! Sorry if you've already done this request, but have you done a plant pollen lust story with Marilyn x student reader yet? Where they breathe in some kind of aphrodisiac pollen that makes them lose control and give into each other? I was thinking maybe they've had feelings for each other for awhile but haven't succumbed to it yet and this is when they do. Just wanting some mommy!dom Marilyn with an experienced reader so Marilyn can be rough with her. Maybe Marilyn uses a strap on or is intersex? Whichever you're more comfortable writing! Thanks!

Yesss!!! Here it is!!!! Finally I made Marilyn intersex, just to be "realistic", I mean, who has a strap-on in a classroom? I hope you don't mind and that you like it!!! Sorry about the delay, and the language mistakes!!! :)))))

Lust is in the air

Pairing: Marilyn Thornhill x Fem, Student! Reader

Warnings: Smut, intersex Marilyn (She has a dick), kinks, lust pollen, dom! Marilyn, sub! Reader, strong language…

Word count: 4,883

Summary: You were in the conservatory as always, but that night things were going to turn weird, but funny…

N/A: Requests are open!!! Sorry about the delays, I’m working hard on your requests. I love you all!!!

“Let's see, (Y/N), do you think you're ready for an express questions round?” Marilyn, your teacher said. You nodded enthusiastically.

“Yes, test me,” you said, shaking your fists, very sure of yourself.

It was a night like any other. There was nothing weird. You never got along with botany, you always had to memorize over and over again all those plants names, something that was quite complicated for you.

Fortunately a few months ago your bitter and unpleasant teacher was replaced by Marilyn Thornhill.

She was different, kind, funny, and very, very beautiful. With her you began to like the plants you hated before. But memory was still not your best skill. You would need some kind of reinforcement or a mentoring, great idea.

You didn't mean to fool yourself. That strange redhead normi attracted you, not just because of her sweet and innocent appearance, but also because of her kind and gentle way of being. Wanting to know her answer, you asked her for help with her assignment. She accepted gratefully. It seemed that her normie status didn't make her to get many friends in Nevermore.

Little by little, nocturnal visits to the conservatory became usual. Marilyn and you talked about plants, but also about other topics that had nothing to do with them. You'd be blind if you didn't notice the tension that slowly built up. Your feelings were focused solely on her and Marilyn didn't seem displeased by your presence, quite the opposite. For you there was always a smile, a caress, a gesture or a word of affection.

You could feel desire and love engulfing you, but, of course, you didn’t do anything about it. You, because you thought that a woman older than you, and who was also your teacher, couldn’t have a real interest in you. She would surely find unlikely that a young girl, a Nevermore student, would take an interest in her, beyond her lessons on plants.

It was a dead end, a closed circuit of especially strange comments and silent looks that never amounted to anything more than that, looks, words, caresses. Never a kiss, a hint, any hint of what your true feelings were. It was a daily fight to see who would give up first. You were proud, and you were still afraid of not being reciprocated. She was innocent, surely she wouldn't take your hints the way they truly were.

“Let's see…” Marilyn said, amused while she looked at the plants that were around her. “Okay, (Y/N), tell me what these two beauties have in common,” she said, pointing to two small plants.

“Hmm,” you muttered. You were sure you had read about it, that Marilyn had explained it to you, probably that very night. “I know it,” you said satisfied, smiling. “Both are invasive species, imported from Australian traders in the early 19th century.”

Marilyn smirked and nodded.

“That's right, very good, (Y/N). Maybe that one was too easy. Let's see… What about this one? Could you tell me what its main characteristic is?” She asked after, moving around the conservatory to make her little "exam" more difficult for you.

“Yes, it's self defense. If an animal gets too close, it emits a substance that causes drowsiness. It can even affect humans,” you answered, happy to remember. Your memory improved every night you spent with her, or so you thought. It was surely a trap of your subconscious to please the redhead, or to try to impress her.

“Extraordinary…” Marilyn sighed, with a smile. “I see you have paid attention to today's class. Let's see… something more difficult. (Y/N), how many hours of sun does this beauty need to maintain all its properties?”

You laughed, you also knew the answer.

“It's a trick question,” you said satisfied, with a certain petulant tone. “The nightshade doesn’t need sun, it would die if you expose it to sunlight.

“Very good, (Y/N), I see that you have really studied today…” Marilyn said, giving up. “Good job, I think you'll have no problem passing next week's exam.”

“Great,” you said, making a victory gesture.

“You've made a lot of progress, (Y/N),” Marilyn said, returning to her desk. “I think that’s enough for today.”

You agreed, because the worst moment of the night had arrived, the moment of farewell. You thought about protesting or sighing pityingly, but you'd be being too obvious. You had to be smarter, buy more time with her.

You searched with your eyes for something that caught your attention and her infinite wisdom could explain to you. To one side of the table, there was a display case with a plant that you did not remember having ever seen. It was a deep green colored plant, and for some strange reason, you felt drawn to it.

“Marilyn,” you said, not taking your eyes off the plant. She looked at you and nodded for you to continue, with her usual kind smile, the one that made you melt. “What kind of plant is that?” You asked, pointing to the small display case.

“Oh, well, it's a very rare species,” she answered, looking at the plant. “It's a variant of a carnivorous plant,” she said, smiling. You knew that she loved to talk about plants, to tell you everything she knew about them. It was a cunning plan, (Y/N).

You nodded curiously, moving closer to the plant and taking a closer look at it.

“I wouldn't do that, (Y/N)…” Marilyn said, with raised eyebrows and an amused tone.

“Why?”

“You see... This little one is something... Special. I suppose you remember that I told you about the sexual deception that some of these plants perpetrate.”

“Oh yes, I remember,” you said amused. That class would never be forgotten. Marilyn shook her head, laughing softly.

“I wonder why the students always remember those things…”she sighed with an amused but intriguing look. You blushed but laughed too, shrugging.

“It’s because you explain it very well…” You whispered, perhaps going a little beyond your subtle comments. She laughed again, crossing her arms and closing her eyes.

“Of course, I'm sure that's what it's about,” she said, clearly with irony. “Look, (Y/N), it may seem like a small and harmless plant, but nothing like that. When it flowers, it produces a very intense pollen that it carries through the air. This pollen has nothing to do with what you may have known. It's about… well, a superior imitation of sex pheromones.”

“Oh…” You said, nodding. You didn't expect that kind of conversation. A thousand points for you, (Y/N).

“The difference between it and its colleagues is that this pollen doesn’t only affect bees or small animals. It is capable of altering the behavior of large animals, including people,” she continued explaining, perhaps a little nervous. You naturally wanted to know more.

“To alter behavior? How?” You asked curiously, moving away a bit from that display case.

She didn't seem to know how to answer, she stopped to think of a correct way to explain it to you.

“Well... If a person inhales the pollen from this plant, let's say that they become... Affectionate...” She said, lowering her head and looking away. You were convinced that it was a simple euphemism.

“Affectionate? Do you mean wanting to…? Well, wanting to do that?” You asked, feigning innocence. She glanced at you briefly and nodded. Her cheeks were starting to turn red.

“Indeed, (Y/N), it's what I want to say,” she said with a small voice. Soon her expression changed as she looked at that display case. “I shouldn't tell you this but… They say that once there was a scientists convention to analyze these types of plants, in case it was possible to use them for some kind of medicinal purpose… Oh, my God, I really shouldn't tell you this.”

You smiled, knowing it wasn't hard to push her to finally speak. She had said so many times that you shouldn't know something that it almost seemed like a joke already.

“Come on, Marilyn, tell me about it, please. I won't tell anyone, I promise,” you said, putting on the face of a good girl.

“Okay, (Y/N)…” She finally sighed. You smirked and looked at her expectantly. “Well, it is said that one of the scientists was not careful, and the whole room was filled with pollen and… Well… I’m sure you can imagine what happened next…”

“Oh, a scientific orgy,” you said cheekily, without paying any attention to your words. She looked at you surprised by your answer.

“(Y/N)…” She said with a warning tone. “But yeah, that's basically what they say that happened. Now I suppose you understand why it's in a display case,” she told you, pretending that you hadn't said what you had said.

“We don't want orgies,” you said amused, earning you a soft tap on the shoulder from her. Marilyn shook her head, feigning anger at those words, but she soon burst out laughing, just the same way you did.

“No, we don't want it,” she replied, trying to stop laughing. Soon her laughter subsided and a moment of silence took over the place. Marilyn's expression relaxed and she looked into your eyes. You did the same and for once, she showed signs of weakness, of wanting to tell you something. “(Y/N), I…”

What she was about to say was interrupted by howls coming from outside the building. Marilyn shook her head, looking at you like she was apologizing, and headed for the door.

“But what's going on?” She asked, leaning out the door.

You looked at the conservatory ceiling. The moon was only a day away from being full. Your fellow werewolves would go crazy when that happened.

“Oh, oh... The wolves haven't gone to their cages...” You said with concern. Marilyn went to close the door, but it was too late. A bunch of wacky, furry students, burst howling into the conservatory, jumping off tables and stirring up everything in their path.

“Hi, (Y/N)!” One of your classmates turned to you. You recognized that deranged look. The poor thing was out of control.

“Hey, Marcus, why don't you guys go to make a fuss somewhere else? I'm trying to learn something,” you said to your friend, who was panting with his tongue outside his mouth.

Marilyn was in a more comical situation, chasing the rest of the pack, who were running and jumping, hanging from the trees as if they were ape-men instead of werewolves.

“Get out of here!” She yelled, grabbing some vases that were about to fall to the floor. “Get out, get out!”

“Come on, man, take your little wolves to another place…” You said to your friend. His eyes bulged almost out of their sockets, but he was one of your best friends, and in that state, he still had some consciousness.

“Come on, guys, let's go to the woods to hunt squirrels, Auuuuu!” He howled, leaving the conservatory, followed noisily by the rest of his friends, who howled desperately.

Marilyn closed the door as the last werewolf emerged, and leaned against it, sighing in relief.

“I'm never going to get used to this…” She murmured. You moved closer, trying not to laugh too much, and put a hand on her shoulder.

“It was probably our fault. The light will have caught their attention. “You said, looking around you at the mess they had left behind. “Oh…”

“Oh, damn it…” The redhead said, putting a hand to her forehead. “(Y/N), I wouldn't want to abuse your trust but… If you could…”

“Yes, Yes of course. I'll help you put all of this in order,” you said immediately, blinking with an angelic look.

“You're such a good girl…” Marilyn whispered, briefly caressing your cheek.

You started to put the fallen chairs in place and suddenly you noticed something strange in your body. It was November, it was freezing outside, but somehow you were starting to sweat. You passed a hand across your forehead to confirm it.

You felt as if your clothes were in your way, you even got dizzy. You leaned against a table before being overwhelmed by that strange sensation, and made a disturbing discovery.

“Eh… Marilyn…” You said trembling, pointing to the floor, where the display case containing that strange plant lay, broken into a thousand pieces. The redhead looked at the same spot and her eyes widened in horror.

“Oh my God…” She sighed, moving closer to the plant. “Oh my gosh this is so bad...”

“The orgy plant,” you whispered, fanning yourself with your hand.

“(Y/N), don’t, don't move… Stay where you are…” Marilyn said, who seemed to be experiencing the same thing as you, an unbearable heat.

“I'm hot…” You said, after which you frowned. You didn't plan to say that.

“I know, I'm hot too, I mean… It’s hot here…” The redhead said, without taking her eyes off you.

“I, I feel weird…” You said, sighing in a strangely suggestive way.

“Don't worry, it's because of the plant…” Marilyn gasped, turning around to look at herself. “Just, just relax and enjoy, I mean, take a slow breath and…”

“I'm on a cloud, Marilyn, a sexual cloud…” You said, now smiling, noticing familiar tingles all over your body.

“You have to relax… I… I…” She said, turning her back on you.

Suddenly an almost unbearable desire took over your body. It was a feeling similar to when you drank too much. You felt uninhibited. You felt invincible, capable of saying everything that was on your mind, of doing everything that was on your mind. You moved from that table and approached the redhead, who seemed to be breathing heavily, as if she was fighting with the same feeling as you.

“Hurry up, (Y/N), we have to cover the plant with a damp cloth so that the effects don't... Be worse...”

As in one of your fantasies, you ran your finger down her back, enjoying seeing her tremble when you did.

“Marilyn… I want you,” you said, totally oblivious to the circumstances that such a phrase could entail.

Now she turned. She was sweating, she was looking at you with her mouth open. She didn't seem uncomfortable, but quite the opposite. Beneath her typical blue jumpsuit, you could sense that her desire was also growing, literally.

“Fuck, (Y/N), don't do this to me…” She sighed, when you stood inches from her face and your hands roamed her body, panting at the same rate.

“Do you want me, Marilyn?” You asked with a smile. At first she looked at you scared, but her eyes began to reflect your desires and her gaze became serious. Marilyn nodded slowly, running her hands around your waist.

“Yes, (Y/N), I want you… I think about you every night…”She whispered in your ear, biting the lobe of your ear.

Deep down you knew that everything that was happening was because of that plant, but a confession like that couldn't be just due to the pollen. You moaned heartbreakingly when you heard those words, ones you didn't think you'd ever hear.

“That makes me really…” You said hissing, getting rid of your Nevermore jacket. The heat had already been unbearable.

“This is all because of the pollen…” she said, coming back a bit to reality. “We have, we have to fight against its effects before we do something crazy.”

You were already too poisoned. You thought about nothing else than having her inside you. Between moans you couldn't suppress, you caressed the remarkable bulge that had formed between her legs. She moaned when she felt your hand in that private part. Her forehead was sweaty, and her hands roamed your back, your butt.

“I like to do crazy things… I'm crazy about you, Marilyn, and I want to make love to you, now,” you said in her ear, while you unbuttoned her jumpsuit.

She moaned, while she shook her head.

“No, (Y/N), it's, it's wrong…” She said, fooling herself. “Damn... It's so wrong...”

“Just let it go, Miss Thornhill. You're so hard... I think I would die if I don't have you inside of me...” You moaned, continuing to caress her. She was breathing hard, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

“I think, I think me too…” She whispered, pulling you, pressing her body against yours. “ Is that what you want, (Y/N)? Do you want mommy to fuck you until you faint?”

Her voice turned grim, dark and lustful.

She knew everything about plants. Surely her reaction capacity was faster than yours, breathing slow and moving away from the broken display case. But something told you that she simply gave up, she was carried away by that unbearable desire that the pollen caused. Perhaps your theories in which she had feelings for you were right, supported by the intriguing and erotic confession she made to you minutes before.

“Yes, mommy, fuck me...” You responded angrily, with hungry desire, while you tore off your shirt. “Touch me, caress me...”

She nodded with a sinister smile on her face, before leaning in and finally, kissing you.

Gasps and moans echoed off the conservatory glass walls. They were animal kisses, wild kisses. Your bodies brushed against each other, sending pleasant stimuli to all the corners of your body. Your neck was assaulted by her teeth and the last buttons of her blue jumpsuit, by your hands.

“You're beautiful, (Y/N), your body is delicious…” The redhead whispered, grabbing your nipple between her teeth, making you moan with pleasure. “Are you going to be a good girl for mommy?”

“Yes, I'll be whatever you want, Marilyn…” You sighed, noticing how your center began to demand some attention.

“Poor silly girl... So desperate for mommy...” She hissed, amused. A slap hit your butt under your skirt and that made you bite your lip. “Take off your panties, (Y/N), do it.”

You obeyed, looking at her with desire. You left your skirt on, just as she hinted at you with her hands.

“Mommy… I need you…” You said with a desperate face, unable to avoid caressing yourself. It was as if the sensations you would normally feel when touching yourself had been multiplied. You moaned as you looked at the redhead, obsessed with what you were doing.

“You know how to touch yourself... You're a smart girl...” She said with a childish voice. Right after, she grabbed you around your waist, turning you around abruptly, putting your belly against her desk and lifting your skirt.

“Mommy…” You moaned, letting yourself to be touched anywhere she wanted. Her hands went to your breasts, while her hips rubbed against your bare bottom. You could feel her cock through her clothes, you could feel it rubbing against your center. You moaned as if you were going to die, wishing that she would finally fill you up and fuck you mercilessly.

“So wet for me…” The redhead whispered, leaning over you as she stroked your slippery folds up and down. Your legs trembled at the contact, you thought you were going to explode.

Her fingers entered you without asking, without any kind of warning. That made you want to bite into something so you could silence your cries of pleasure. She was not affectionate, nor tender. She was rude, commanding. That dark side that that sweet and innocent woman had could make you end up in that state without needing that pollen. It was erotic, tremendously sexual. You had never been dominated in this way, but you found that you could not do it otherwise.

“Mommy, mommy... Yes, please, yes...” You moaned, receiving another slap on your butt and an evil laugh from the redhead.

“Silence, bitch, mommy is working…” She told you, holding your hair tightly. “Enjoy whatever you want, but don't cum, (Y/N)…”

You opened your eyes. That request was impossible for you at that moment, you were already very close.

“But mommy, I can't help it, you do it so well to me…” You gasped, noticing how her fingers increased her speed. Marilyn stopped, pulling your skirt down to get rid of what was left of your clothes, and your shame.

“Good girls wait for mommy to give them permission…” Marilyn told you, caressing your buttocks with her free hand. “First you have to make mommy happy... Tell me, (Y/N), have you ever do this?” She asked, making you turn around, taking his fingers out of your desperate humidity, which pressed its walls so that her fingers didn’t abandon you.

You closed your eyes, feeling almost pained by this sudden lack of pleasure, and nodded.

“Yes…” You confessed. She smiled, lowering her jumpsuit to her ankles, releasing her throbbing cock and aiming it at your entrance.

“Fine, I guess I don't have to treat you like an innocent girl then …”

You admired her length and licked your lips. None of the boys you know had anything to do with it. You wanted it, you wanted to see your body adjusting to it, stretching for it.

Your conscience was clouded by lust. The pollen was really dangerous, but it was nothing else than an enhancer of everything you felt, everything you wanted. To think that she wasn't the one with you at that moment disgusted you.

“Be a good girl and stay still…” She said, while she ran the tip through your folds. “Oh fuck, you're so willing, so wet…” She whispered, clearly struggling not to enter you so soon.

You moaned at her touch, looking into her eyes just as she did.

“I'm not going to ask your permission, (Y / N), I'm going to make you mine, my love… Mommy will give you what you want and you're going to take it like the good girl you pretend to be…” She said, leaning into your ear.

You nodded, moving your hips to feel the tip of her cock right on your clit, making you shiver at the sensation.

With a sudden thrust, she entered you moaning with a strangled sigh.

“Oh, damn... It feels so good... You squeeze me so much, it’s so tight...” The redhead said, introducing herself completely.

You moaned for that feeling you craved. Your body moved, adapting to the intruder as best it could. She had been quick, she had been ruthless, that was what she was looking for, what she wanted, and deep down, what you wanted.

“Mommy... It's big...” You moaned, hissing at the little pain you felt, a pain that was even pleasant.

“Oh… your little pussy can't take mommy? Is mommy hurting you? Poor girl...” She said with a childish voice, while she moved little by little, slowly, but with intensity, stretching your walls in an overwhelming and gratifying way.

“It's so hard…” you sighed, pleased to see how your body played with her, embracing her cock lovingly but firmly. She smiled and caressed your cheek, before moving faster and faster.

“Yeah… You take it so well, you're perfect…” The redhead panted, moving her hips, giving little slaps to your thighs. “My good girl... Mommy's good girl...”

“Keep going, don't stop…” You said, stammering. Your body moved from front to back. Marilyn was holding you to move just as she wanted. It wasn't delicate, it wasn't the loving sex you used to imagine, but it was what your body needed at that moment.

“Oh, but what are those ways of talking to me, honey? Haven't you learned anything?” She said to you, giving you a smack on the cheek. “Talk to me properly or I won't continue fucking you, is that what you want? What mommy doesn't fill you up?”

You shook your head, horrified by that idea. Your moans were intense, as was her thrust. Her cock slid easily through your body, rubbing against the most pleasurable places inside you.

“No, please, mommy, don't stop… I want, I want you to fill me up, I want to be full of you, keep fucking me…. Please mommy, don't stop,” you said in a pathetic, desperate and humiliating way. She chuckled, grabbing your ankles and lifting them into the air, moving her hips gracefully, almost as if she was playing with you.

“That's the way I like it…” She said, placing your legs over her shoulders and increasing the pace even more.

The redhead's moans were so sexual that they added another point of pleasure to the way she fucked you. They were high-pitched gasps, exhausted, hungry, but with a soft layer of sweetness, something of the kind, innocent, caring side of her. And you couldn't take it anymore. All your muscles fought not to contract, not to feel those familiar cramps in your center. You were so close to heaven that you thought you could touch the clouds.

“Please, mommy...I'm close...” You said, being pushed with even more force. Marilyn looked at you as her eyes focused on the way her body moved inside yours. Her smile turned sarcastic, ironic.

“Is that all you can take? No, honey, you're not going to cum yet. Have you forgotten who's in control here?”

“You,” you moaned.

“Exactly, (Y/N), and like the good girl you are, you're going to be nice, and wait for mommy to cum first, will you?” She said, slowing down, moving inside of you softly.

“Yes…I will,” you sighed. You didn't see any other possible options. You had to obey, and besides, just thinking about her cum inside your body made you go even crazier.

“Be patient, my love... Mommy isn't far from filling you up...” Marilyn said, moving quickly again, with a little more hunger in her onslaught. “Oh baby, I want to… Make you mine…”

“And I want it too, mommy, I want to be filled with you, I want to be yours forever...”

“Yes, honey, that's it... Repeat it... Come on, repeat it!” She asked you, the second time in a more abrupt way.

You bit your lip, knowing it was just what she needed. Just what you needed.

“I want to be yours... Make me yours, Marilyn...” You repeated with the most sexual moan you had ever emitted.

“Oh, fuck, I, I'm going to cum…” She said, moving her hips with force, until, with a sharp moan she stopped, pressing against your body, releasing inside of you.

“Yes! Yes!” You screamed when you felt the heat filling your body, when you felt a hot liquid filling you completely. Your orgasm did not wait, your vagina contracted with a gasp and your back arched under the watchful eye of your teacher.

Her dark, hungry expression changed as she finished. She was still inside you, but her eyes were wide, looking into yours, scared.

You began to see things more clearly. You didn’t know if the effect of that pollen had a limited duration in time, or ended once the desire had been satisfied.

“My God, but, what have we done?” The redhead said, beginning to get very nervous.

You had had the best sex of your life, even if it was under the influence of that plant. Maybe it wasn't time to confess your love, or maybe it was. Anyway, what was done was done, and proof of that was a trickle of liquid running down your leg.

“Marilyn,” you said, sitting up, as she pulled out of you and pulled up her pants, quickly covering herself. “I don't think it was a mistake...”

“Oh my God... They're going to fire me... I... Wait, you were of legal age, right?” She asked nervously, passing her hand across her forehead.

“Of course I am, I'm twenty years old,” you said, frowning, annoyed. “But those things you told me, that you were thinking about me...”

She sighed in relief and looked at you embarrassed.

“Please, tell me it wasn't because of the plant, tell me you feel something for me, like I do,” you said softly, getting up from the table and grabbing her waist. She turned around and took your hands, thinking hard about her response.

“Oh, fuck everything. Yes, (Y/N), everything I told you is true. I... I... I feel things for you, many things... I, I love you...”

You smiled and gave her a quick kiss on her lips. She closed her eyes, but then she smiled, pulling you into a hug.

“Me too…”

“Wait, you mean you came to the conservatory every night just to be with me?”

You nodded amused, giving her another kiss.

“You are crazy…”

“About you…” You answered. You kissed her again, now with more intensity. Out of the corner of your eye you saw the plant on the floor. “Hey, what do we do with it?”

Marilyn looked at the plant and lowered her head...

“We just have to pick it up, the effects have already passed, and I doubt it will affect us again for a while.”

You nodded and went with her to collect the crystals from the display case. She was looking at you, but with some kind of guilty feeling.

“(Y/N)… I…”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t… Don't think my intention was to treat you that way. I'm only like that when I'm confident… I hope I didn't hurt you… It was that damned plant’s fault.”

“Oh, then I guess I have to thank it,” you said jokingly. “Thank you, sinister plant.”

“(Y/N)…” Marilyn sighed.

#marilyn thornhill #marilyn thornhill x reader #wednesday #ms thornhill #oneshot #smut

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gojos-thot-patrol · 1 year

Text

It's fun to be the main character, isn't it? Welcome to

where you are the center of our universe and we are only here to please you. You're the guest of honor tonight, Dear reader, and we're all so eager to please.

Pick your poison Darling.

O U T D A T E D

Ryomen Sukuna

Sukuna isn't the type of person to say "I love you." He's not the type of person to love. He was a demonic warlord, known for his cruelty and lack of empathy. What part of that screams "lover boy" to you?

Baby, You're a Haunted House

Society will tell you that playing with ouija boards is a bad idea. this fic begs to differ. a demonic Sukuna smut

Close Calls

Love is scary, Isn't it Reader? Sukuna thinks it is. but at least he's facing his fears for you. a soft Sukuna smut.

Sacrilegious

Feeling holy? Maybe a little less than holy? Do you want to have your guts rearranged by a God in his own temple? yea, me too. a godly Sukuna smut.

Requesting something Unholy

Did you like the idea of the previous fic, but think you'd relate to it better if the reader was of the male variety? well, do I have news for you! A smutty Sukuna drabble

Seven Minuets in Heaven

Maybe you're feeling something a bit more modern reader. Something more relatable? Like a college au where you lose your virginity to a frat boy named Ryomen A modern day Smut

Better off as Lovers

Dating is hard and falling in love is harder. Ryomens love isn't up for debate, but if he's truly ready to give up his playboy life style for you is a little more questionable. Part two of Seven Minuets in Heaven. A smutty hurt/comfort fic

New Mistakes

I would say being left at the altar was the worst thing that could have ever happened to you, but I think the revenge sex with Ryomen makes it all worth it, don't you agree Reader? A modern day revenge smut.

Satoru Gojo

He was the Satoru Gojo. He was the strongest of all sorcerers. He was a man who didn't need anyone. He was the heartbreaker here damn it.

In the Middle of the Night

Loving someone is hard. Loving someone who will never love you back is hell. Gojo can do anything expect win your heart. a late night Gojo angst

Sooner or Later

you've gotten quite close to Nanami, haven't you Reader? theres no way Satoru will take this well. a toxic Gojo drabble

Here Kitty Kitty

Gojo just got his favorite kitty a brand new collar a pet play Gojo smut

Heaven is a Place on Earth

Gojo was a devout man of the cloth. Until it came to you. No amount of repenting was going to save his soul from the sin he was about to commit, but do you think that was going to stop him? a blasphemous Gojo smut

In Her Eyes

Gojo was more that a little bit nervous about the birth of his daughter, but, the moment he sees her that all melts away. a fluffy Gojo drabble

Me and You Under the Honeymoon

Congratulations to the newly weds! You and Satoru spend your first night together as husband and wife on your honeymoon A fluffy Gojo smut

Kento Nanami

He stood tall and proud. His eyes held an ice to them that dared you to try and melt them and his cheekbones could cut diamonds. He exuded the kind of confidence that only a man that would wear a leopard print tie in a room full of young adults and know they couldn’t make fun of him would have.

Requesting Nanami Relax

It's been a long day. Relax baby. Nanami's got you, just as he hopes you've got him. a fluffy Nanami drabble.

After School Detention

You had been so sure that you were immune to the charms of your devilishly handsome calculus teacher. Who falls for a calculus teacher anyways? You do reader, You do. an educational Nanami smut

A Thousand Miles Away

It's frustrating dating a Jujutsu Sorcerer, especially when their run so thin your boyfriend seems to almost never be home. Will your relationship survive? a gutting Nanami angst

A Place That Feels Like Home

Was A Thousand Miles Away just a little bit too much for your tender heart to much for your heart to take? Worry not dear reader. You and Nanami can find your peace in this follow up. A reunion smut

You Up?

You and Nanami have been hooking up on the regular for quite awhile now, haven't you reader? I'd be careful with that if I were you. I think someone may have caught feelings... A fluffy smut

Suguru Geto

His long black hair perfectly framed his sculpted face. His kind eyes seemed mismatched with his almost mischievous smile. You couldn't help but be sucked into his orbit.

Where the Spider Lillies Grow

You're remeincing about your first love ever, aren't you? The one that left a ruined shell of who you used to be? that can't be good for you darling. a heart breaking Geto angst

Ghost Of You

You're still not over him, are you reader? Darling, it's been six months, the two of you weren't even official yet! well, Don't look now, because he's at this party too. A Possessive Ex Suguru Smut

None of this appeal to you reader? Not a problem. we're here to please You and only you, so as always, request are Open for any of your JJK needs. the only rule is if I find it uncomfortable, I don't have to write it.

Oh, and while I have you here, Why not check out some of our Headcannons? We hope you can agree on at lest a few. And please don't forget to check out our Valentines Day Event! If you're looking for something not on this list it's sure to be there. Or it could be Here, In the Birthday Event Masterlist!

We hope you enjoy your stay here dear reader. You're welcome back, any time.

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sequinsmile-x · 9 months

Text

You're Gonna Go Far

It wasn't any easier even though they'd been through this once before with Jack.

AKA - the one where Aaron and Emily's eldest daughter goes to college.

-x-

Hi friends

Given the time of year, and the amount of TikTok videos I've seen of people decorating their dorm rooms (I can tell you...mine did NOT look like that haha) this idea wouldn't leave me alone.

So here it is, close to 5k words of domestic, soft Hotchniss and their family going through something most families do.

And if you've just moved away to college you're going to be great!!

I hope you enjoy it, and let me know what you think <3

-x-

Warnings: None!

Words: 4.8k

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Everyone had always told her that it went quickly.

It was something she’d been told more times than she could count during her pregnancies, both by people she knew and strangers alike. Kind-looking older ladies in the grocery store who’d touch her belly without asking and tell her to enjoy it, that before she knew it her babies would be growing up, moving away and taking everything she taught them with them.

She’d seen it with Jack. Watched as the boy who was once her best friend's son became her son. Turning from the sweet little boy who couldn’t pronounce her name properly, to the kid that started to call her Mom just before he became a teenager, to the young man he was now. Forever making his parents proud, and the best big brother Emily’s other children could have hoped for.

There was part of her that had still struggled to believe it. Lost in the long nights with no sleep. Parenthood slowly, but also too fast now she looked back on it, moving from sleep deprivation and sore boobs, to pretending not to cry on their first days at school so she didn’t scare them, all the way to now. Nights spent patiently watching the clock as it ticked closer to her eldest daughter’s curfew, anxious until she heard the familiar scrape of her key in the lock. Hazel had never once been late, her diligence and sensibility that came from the half of her that was Aaron always taking precedence, but Emily always worried that one day the half of her that was her would win out. Memories of what she’d been like when she was Hazel’s age haunting her as the seconds ticked by, almost making her wish she could apologise to her own mother.

Standing on the football field of her kid's high school, the one Jack had gone to, the one Hazel was about to leave, the one where the twins still went, Emily couldn’t believe it had been 18 years. 18, long but all too short, years since she’d held her first daughter for the first time. Since Hazel was a tiny dot of a thing who had almost fit into one of Aaron’s hands. The girl who was now a young woman, taller than her mother and, as Aaron would always say, every bit as beautiful.

It had all happened so quickly, and whilst Emily was so proud of her family, of the people her children were and would no doubt be, she yearned for the days when they were small. And she knew she’d give just about anything to have one more interrupted night of sleep where one of them crawled into her bed.

“I found our seats.”

She looks up at Aaron and smiles, nodding as he leads them into the area that had been reserved for them. She guides the twins, in first, grateful when they sit next to each other without argument, a smile flitting across her face as she watches Violet brush something off of Lucas’s shoulder. They were each other's fiercest protector, but also their harshest critic. Arguments that would sometimes feel like they would shake the whole house reminding her of when she was pregnant with them, and how Aaron would place his hand on her belly and joke it seemed like they were fighting in there, elbows and tiny feet always shifting around inside of her.

“Are you ok, sweetheart?” Aaron asks, his hand reaching out for hers as she pauses, she turns to him and nods, unsurprised to see the same fix of emotions she was feeling in his eyes shining right back at her.

“Yeah,” she replies, squeezing his hand in reassurance, “I’m fine, I promise.”

Emily smiles as she sits down, blowing out a steady breath as her eyes meet Hazel’s from her place on the stage, her daughter looking every part the 18-year-old she was. Grown up in a way that made Emily’s heart clench in her chest. Hazel smiles at her, and lifts her hand to wave ever so slightly, something anyone else who was looking at her would miss, the movement making her graduation gown shift, the dark green material complimenting her dark hair.

“$10 Mom cries first,” Violet says, drawing Emily’s attention away from the stage and back to the rest of her family sitting around her.

Emily turns to look at her youngest daughter and raises her eyebrow, “Vi, what have I said about gambling at school events?”

“That would be a terrible bet for me to take,” Lucas says, ignoring that his mother had spoken at all as he looks at his twin sister with the scowl all of the kids had inherited from Aaron, “Mom will obviously cry first. Then Dad will cry because he always does when he sees Mom crying.”

“Kids,” Aaron says, leaning in past Emily from her other side so he can talk to them without drawing too much attention, his arm around the back of his wife’s chair, “Give your mom a break.”

Violet shrugs and leans back in her chair, “I’m just saying, we all know Mom is tougher than you, but anything to do with us makes her cry.”

Aaron’s eyes flick to his wife’s, not missing how her eyes briefly sparkle with amusement. It makes relief crackle in his chest. She was just as excited for Hazel as he was, and just as sad too. The prospect of their daughter now only being a couple of months away from moving away for college hung over this event just like it did with everything these days.

He makes a show of looking annoyed, something he knows his whole family can see right through, and he furrows his brow, “You think Mom is tougher than me?”

“Definitely,” the twins reply in unison, their voices joined by a familiar third one that makes him turn around. He smiles and stands as soon as he sees Jack, pulling his eldest into a tight hug.

“Jack, she’ll be so pleased you made it,” he says, squeezing his son even tighter, the strength in the hug he gets back matching it.

Jack smiles as she pulls back, “I wouldn’t miss Hazelnut graduating for the world,” he says, smiling as uses the nickname they all know Hazel hates. He smiles at Emily, who also stands up to hug her son, “Hi, Mom.”

“Hi sweetie,” she says, kissing the side of his head as she pulls back, tilting her head towards the twins, “Your brother and sister were just placing bets on who will cry first.”

He smiles and squeezes past her, sitting on the end seat they’d saved for him, ruffling both of the twin's dark hair as he goes, “I’ll take that bet,” he says, making Emily groan as she sits back down, “But, I’m going to say Hazel will cry first, and that will make the rest of us break.”

Emily leans in towards her husband and speaks quietly so only he can hear her, “I’m seriously starting to regret all those times we left our precious children in the care of Dave.”

Aaron chuckles and stamps a kiss against her lips, ignoring that Violet and Lucas catch it, both of them grimacing in the background, “Is this better or worse than when he taught Violet to curse in Italian before she even started pre-school?”

She smiles, but any response is cut off as the commencement begins, everyone’s attention drawn to the stage in front of them. They all listen intently as the principal talks about the graduating class, making jokes and comments that draw out laughter from the sea of students wearing the dark green gowns, his smile wide as he talks about how proud the school is of them. How they’ll take everything they learnt from there wherever they go next.

Emily feels her heart stop in her chest as he moves on, declaring the next stage of the event.

“Before we move on, it’s time for our Valedictorian, Hazel Hotchner, to make her commencement speech.”

Aaron grabs her hand, linking their fingers together as Hazel walks up to the podium. She looks over at her family and smiles, a bit of tension in her shoulders easing as she makes eye contact with her father. His reassurance a balm to all of their kids, much like it always had been for Emily.

“Thank you, Principal Shepard,” she says, her voice shaking slightly from the nerves. She looks down at her notes, the ones she’d banned her parents and siblings from looking at for weeks, claiming she wanted her speech to be a surprise. She blows out a steady breath and looks back up, “Fellow students, faculty and friends and family, it’s hard to believe this day has come.”

Emily pays close attention as Hazel talks about her time at the school, about how she’d got lost on the first day, despite her older brother drawing her a map of the layout, only to find when she got home that she’d held it upside down all day. How she’d fallen in love with computer science there, the subject she planned to major in at college, and how she’d met friends she hopes she’ll know her whole life. Emily feels pride bubbling in her chest, threatening to completely overwhelm her. She blows out a shaky breath and feels Violet’s hand wrap around the one not being held by Aaron. She looks at her daughter and smiles, squeezing her hand when she sees the tears shining in her eyes, all of her previous bravado long gone as she watches the sister she’ll know she miss when she moves to college take this major step.

“Lastly, I’d like to take a moment to thank my family,” Hazel says, and Emily stops breathing for a second, well aware that this would be her undoing. Aaron tenses next to her, his shoulders tight from how he was holding himself together.

“Oh boy,” Lucas whispers, just loud enough for Emily to hear him, “Here we go.”

“I want to thank my brothers and my sister for teaching me how to share,” Hazel says, once again letting her gaze drift towards her family, “And for also teaching me that you can love someone and still be incredibly annoyed at them,” she smiles when the crowd laughs, and Emily notices some people, parents she knows from other events, looking back and smiling at them, “I’d like to thank my dad for always being there. Not just for looking scary enough, as well as having an actually having scary job before he retired, so no one dared bully me in case I called him, but for being the dad everyone wishes they could have. There was never any nail polish too bright when I asked to paint your nails, or tiny teacup too small when we’d all gang up on you and beg you to play with us.”

He feels his throat threaten to close up, a familiar burning in the back of it as he tries to push the feeling away. Not wanting tears to blur his vision so he missed a single second of this. Emily squeezes his hand and he looks at her and sees that she’s fighting the same battle, her eyes starting to shine.

“And lastly, I want to thank my mom,” Hazel says, clearing her throat when her voice cracks a little, “Not only is she the best mom anyone could ever ask for, she is, by far, the smartest person I know. I’m not sure many people know this, but my mom is a polyglot. She speaks so many languages she taught each of us a different one. She taught me French,” she looks at Emily in the crowd, and their dark eyes meet, and for a moment, Emily feels like she’s the only person Hazel is speaking to, “It was always one of my favourite things, it was as if we had a secret code between us. Stolen moments in the chaos of the home I feel lucky to have grown up in. So,” she says, clearing her throat again, a tear dropping onto her cheek, something she quickly wipes away as if it hadn’t happened, “Mom - Je vous aime. Tu es ma personne préférée. Quand je serai grand, je veux être comme toi,” Hazel looks back at the crowd as a whole and smiles, “Thank you.”

Emily is grateful for the applause that follows because it gives her a moment to recover. She doesn’t bother covering the fact that she’s crying, because she knows it’s pointless. Tears burning down her cheeks as she stands and joins in on the applause. She looks at Aaron and sees he’s crying too, his pride evident. Shining out of his face like the sun, bright and warm as he carries on clapping a few beats longer than everyone else. Something that, she knows in any other circumstances, would make their children claim they are embarrassing.

She hears a sniff from next to her and turns to look at her children, smiling softly when she sees they are all crying. Violet rests her head on Emily’s shoulder when they all sit back down and she wraps her arms both of her arms around Emily’s, her hands grasping at her tricep.

“Voglio bene alla tua mamma,” she says quietly, just loud enough for Emily to hear over the murmuring crowd whilst the next speaker gets their speech ready.

Emily smiles and rests her head on top of her daughters, “Ti amo anche io dolcezza.”

Jack leans in, making sure only his family can hear him, “I told you Hazel would cry first.”

Lucas frowns, turning to look at his brother, “Wait, Haze never cries. How did you know?”

Jack smirks, looking very proud of himself, “She emailed me her speech weeks ago.”

___

The summer goes by faster than it ever had before.

Days and weeks melting away, slipping through Emily’s fingers until it's the night before they drive Hazel to college. Their car was packed full of her things ready for them to leave in the morning, the teenager determined to get to New York as soon as possible.

She was only going to be a few hours away.

It was a mantra Emily had been telling herself, and one her daughter had said to her multiple times, ever since Hazel had been accepted into Columbia. It was closer than Jack had been during college, and she can’t help but hope that when it’s time the twins decide to stay nearby.

She shakes the thought off, sure it would tip her over the edge if she thinks about that too much, and she blows out a steady breath. She stares at the bedroom door and twists her wedding rings around her finger as she goes over the list of things they bought for Hazel’s dorm room, mentally checking off if they were already in the car or in the pile of things her daughter had asked to have overnight.

Aaron walks out of the ensuite and looks at his wife, stopping just short of the bed when he sees the faraway look in her eyes, how she’s twisting her rings around her finger, a habit he’s grateful replaced biting her cuticles long ago because he knows they’d be shredded by now if it hadn’t.

They were all struggling with the thought of Hazel leaving, even the twins, although they were trying to act unaffected. It wasn’t any easier just because it was the second time they were doing this, and he was sure it wouldn’t get any easier the next time they did. He smiles as he watches her, the look in her eyes the same as it had been the first night they’d moved Hazel from a bassinet next to Emily’s side of the bed to her nursery. Her gaze sparkling with love and concern, the same concoction that had got them both through being a parent all these years.

“Are you okay sweetheart?”

Emily looks up at him and smiles absentmindedly, nodding as he climbs into bed next to her, her eyes drifting back to the door, “Do you think she's okay?”

He sighs as he loops his arm around her shoulders, tugging her into his side. He kisses the side of her head, his soft smile pressed into her grey hair, “You asked the same thing the first night she slept in the nursery.”

She chuckles, the sound wet as it catches in her throat, “That doesn’t even feel that long ago,” she says, wiping her cheek with the heel of her hand as she leans into his side, more tears falling past her lash line, “How is she going to college tomorrow?” She asks rhetorically, shaking her head slightly before she sits up, her smile quivering as he wipes some tears away for her, “What if she needs me?”

He leans in to stamp a kiss against her lips before he pulls back, his hand on her cheek, “She’s only going to be a few hours away,” he says, stroking her skin with his thumb, “And she can call whenever she needs to.”

She nods, leaning into the warmth of his palm, “I know,” she says, blowing out a shaky breath, “I know,” she repeats as she clears her throat and laughs humourlessly, “I guess I’d better get used to them not needing us anymore.”

He opens his mouth to respond but is cut off by a gentle knock on the door. He turns to look at it and calls out, “Come in.”

The door opens slightly, just enough for Hazel to lean in a little, “You guys aren’t making out are you?”

Emily laughs as she shakes her head, wiping her cheeks, determined that Hazel wouldn’t see her upset, “No,” she says, furrowing her brow at her daughter as she opens the door the entire way and steps into the bedroom, “Why do you always ask that?”

Hazel hums and smiles, a half-hearted thing that makes concern spark in Emily’s chest, “I’ve been burned before.”

She stands near the doorway, her usual confidence, that she’d been exuding during this whole process, nowhere to be found. Her shoulders were a little slumped, her eyes fixed on the floor, and her teeth sinking into her lower teeth. Emily looks down and her heart catches in her chest when she spots what Hazel is holding. Her favourite childhood toy, a stuffed cat she’d inexplicably called Biscuits when she was three, hanging from her hand. Biscuits had seen better days. His once plush grey fur patchy, and his whiskers long gone. When Hazel turned 14 she’d declared she was too old for stuffed animals, asking that they be put in the attic, but Biscuits had survived the cut. His place on her bed never at risk. She liked to pretend it wasn’t because she needed him to sleep even now, as if her parents hadn’t recently caught her fast asleep with him in her arms when they checked in on her when she had the flu.

For a moment, an all too fleeting one, Hazel is five again. Standing in the doorway with her hair a mess and her pyjamas askew, tears on her cheeks as she cried about a nightmare. It makes Emily ache, her gut twisting with emotions she can’t name, and she sits up, removing herself from Aaron’s embrace.

“Are you okay, Haze?” Emily asks, “Do you need anything?”

The teenager shakes her head, shifting from foot to foot as she tries to figure out what to say, “No I…I don’t know,” she says, blowing out a breath as she shrugs, “I can’t sleep.”

“That’s okay, sweetheart,” Aaron says, “It’s probably the excitement.”

Hazel nods, holding Biscuits to her chest as she hugs him so tightly, Emily is sure if his eyes were real, not sewn on, they’d be bulging out of his head, “Yeah…excitement,” she says, swallowing thickly. She sighs and walks over to sit on the edge of her parent's bed, “What if I’m not good enough?”

Emily reaches out and places her hand on her daughter’s leg, squeezing tightly, “Honey, you were top of your high school class, you got accepted to all of the colleges you applied to,” She smiles when she sees a flicker of a smile on Hazel’s face, “You’re more than good enough. You’re excellent.”

She nods again and clears her throat, “What if I don’t make any friends?”

Aaron exchanges a quick glance with his wife before smiling encouragingly at his daughter, “You make friends everywhere you go, Princess,” he says, using the nickname he hadn’t used since she was small, “Just like your mom.”

Hazel shrugs noncommittally, “But what if-”

“Baby,” Emily says, cutting her off, reaching out and tucking some of Hazel’s dark hair behind her ear, “Is it possible you’re just coming up with these things because you’re nervous and you don’t want to admit it?”

She chuckles and shakes her head, “Profilers,” she smiles at them, biting the inside of her cheek to try and stop it from growing, “You know, my friend's parents had normal jobs.”

Aaron chuckles, “So you’ve said before,” he says, watching as she holds the stuffed cat in her arms a little tighter, “Everything will be okay you know,” he adds, “It’s perfectly normal to be nervous.”

Hazel huffs out a breath and shifts closer to them, sitting between them on the bed, her back against the headboard as she looks back and forth between them.

“But what if I hate it,” she asks, her voice starting to sound thick, her lower lip shaking slightly as she starts to get overwhelmed, “It’s so far away and you guys won’t be there and-”

“Hey, hey, you’re okay,” Emily says, wrapping her arm around her. Hazel leans into her, resting her head on her shoulder and sighing. Emily looks at Aaron and they exchange a sad smile, “It’s not that far away,” she says, her fingers running through Hazel’s hair as she repeats what she’d been saying to them for weeks, “And if you ever need anything at all, you know we’ll drop everything.”

Hazel nods, sniffing as she shifts to look at her mother, tears spilling past her lashline, “Can I…can I sleep in here?” She asks, almost sounding embarrassed.

Emily looks over her head to Aaron and she sees the same joy in his eyes that she feels. The same small sense of wonder at a question they hadn’t heard in years.

“Of course you can,” Emily replies, kissing Hazel’s forehead and pulling her in for a hug, “You never have to ask.” Hazel turns to look at Aaron, as if looking for confirmation and he nods, making her smile widely at him, a brief memory of her doing the same when she was little, gaps in her teeth and braids in her hair, and it makes him breathless.

“Thanks,” Hazel says quietly, her cheeks flushing slightly as they all lay down and Aaron turns out the light. Hazel rests her head on Emily’s shoulder, tucking herself against her like she’d done when she was young. “I love you guys.”

Emily feels her breath catch in her chest, and she feels Aaron reach out for her hand, linking their fingers together and squeezing tightly. She looks at him in the dark of the room and smiles, clearing her throat before she replies.

“We love you too, sweetie.”

Dropping her off the next day is every part as difficult as they expect it to be. Their hearts in their throats as they help her set up her dorm room and inevitably say goodbye, their hugs lingering a little longer than usual, her grip on their shirts a little tighter.

Emily is proud of herself for holding it together until they get into their car, a sob escaping her the moment the door is closed. Aaron immediately wraps his arms around her, the embrace awkward over the centre console, and when they pull back, there are tears on his cheeks too. She wipes them away for him and tries to swallow down her sadness, desperately trying to feel the pride that was lingering underneath, aware that if she couldn’t find it soon she’d go back into the dorms and get her little girl.

“She’ll be okay,” Emily says, wiping another tear that escapes away for him.

“I know,” he replies, leaning in to kiss her, the taste of salt on both of their lips, “She’s half you, of course she’ll be okay.”

She smiles and stamps a kiss against his lips before pulling back, and putting on her seatbelt, “She’s half you too,” she replies, sinking into her seat as he turns on the engine, “She’ll be fine.”

She hears her phone chirp from her pocket and she pulls it out, smiling when she sees Hazel has sent her a text. She chuckles as she opens it, her vision going blurry as she turns the phone to show it to Aaron. He smiles too and reaches out, squeezing her hand before he takes the car out of park.

“Let’s go home. I’m sure we can convince Luke and Vi to hang out with us tonight if we bribe them with pizza,” he says, and she nods, looking back at the screen of her phone as the car moves away, her eyes lingering on a picture of Buscuits on Hazel’s dorm room bed and the accompanying message.

Miss you already <3

___

13 Years Previously

Emily wakes up with a groan, the relative darkness of the bedroom letting her know it was still the middle of the night. She’s just about to roll over, to snuggle into her husband’s embrace, his arm lying over her waist, when she hears a small, quiet voice.

“Mommy?”

She opens her eyes again and sees Hazel standing at the end of her bed, Biscuits cuddled up in her arms, and tears on her cheeks shining in the low light of the room.

“Hi sweet girl,” Emily says, sitting up just enough to see her a little better, “Are you okay? Did you have a nightmare?”

Hazel sniffs and nods, “I had a bad dream.”

“Oh, baby, come here,” Emily says, throwing back the covers and smiling softly as Hazel immediately climbs under them, snuggling into Emily’s embrace, her face pressed against her chest, “You’re okay, I’ve got you.”

“I tried to be brave,” Hazel says, “I’m not a baby anymore, but I was scared.”

Emily hides her smile into the top of Hazel’s hair, the little girl's insistence that she wasn’t a baby anymore something that had taken hold as soon as the twins had been born almost a year ago. She briefly looks at the baby monitor on her nightstand, reaching out to activate the screen for a moment so she can see the video feeds, smiling at the sight of Violet and Lucas fast asleep in their cribs.

“Well that’s what I’m here for,” she says, adjusting them so they were laying on their sides, Hazel safely cocooned between her and Aaron, “Anytime you don’t feel brave, I’m here.”

Hazel frowns, looking so much like Aaron that it makes Emily smile, “But I’m a big girl.”

“I know you are,” Emily replies, still running her fingers through Hazel’s hair, “But, I’m a big girl too right?” She asks, pausing to feel her daughter nod against her, “Well, I’m not brave all the time.”

“Really?” Hazel asks, tilting her head to look up at Emily, their eyes meeting in the low light.

“Really,” she confirms, “And then Daddy looks after me, and I do the same for him when he’s not feeling brave.”

Hazel looks curious for a moment, but nods, accepting Emily’s explanation, resting her head back against her chest, “Can I sleep here?”

Emily holds her closer, smiling as Hazel settles in, clearly already halfway to being asleep, and runs her hand up and down her back, “Of course, baby,” she says, kissing the top of her head, “Always.”

“Je t'aime maman,” Hazel mutters, her words slurring together, and Emily closes her eyes, pushing back tears only her children managed to bring out of her so easily.

“Je t'aime aussi mon coeur,” she whispers, aware that the little girl was likely already sleeping.

“Is she okay?”

Emily smiles at the sound of her husband's voice, thick with sleep and misuse, “Yeah, she’s okay,” she replies, yawning as Aaron wraps his arm around them both, “She’s fine now.”

“Of course, she is sweetheart,” Aaron says, his words slurring together in a way that makes her question if he would even remember having been awake in the morning, “She has you as a mom.”

The praise makes her beam, her heart as warm and full as their bed currently was, and she lets herself naively hope that everything stays like this forever.

-x-

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