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sohotthateveryonedied · 4 years

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I’ll Make a Million Mistakes

Read here on AO3!

Summary:

“Don’t worry,” Dick says, throwing his arm around Duke’s shoulders. “Everyone in this room has had their teeth knocked out at one point or another. It’s a rite of passage around here.”

“I don’t know how to tell you thith, but that doethn’t happen to normal people. We acthually prefer to keep our teeth, believe it or not.”

“Wait until you get your first major battle scar. Trust me, they’re cool.”

“Y’all need Jethuth.”

Bruce likes to think of himself as a patient man. Even more, he’d like to think it’s a trait he earned all on his own, but anyone who’s met him would testify that he inherited his patience from the man who raised him, and Bruce would have to agree. This level of restraint he possesses is an acquired skill—one that is reserved for the world’s best butlers and for fathers of six. Karen from the PTA wishes she were on Bruce’s level. His exceedingly calm temperament is the only reason Bruce doesn’t melt into a puddle on the ground now, his bones turning into a milky froth because Jesus fucking Christ, hasn’t he had a hard enough night as it is? No person should have to spend two hours solving riddles because Eddie was feeling manic tonight and then be forced to come home to human children. Duke smiles around a mouthful of bloody gauze. “In my defenth, I’ve never even had a cavity before.” “No, you just got your tooth knocked out.” “Teeth.” “What?” “Ith acthually teeth, plural. I lotht two of them.” Bruce facepalms. “Goddamn it.” He ignores the giggles from his other kids, all of whom apparently decided they needed to be present for this conversation. He’s picking his battles tonight.

“Ith not my fault!” Duke points over at Tim, standing against the Batcave’s wall minding his own business. “Ith hith fault.” “It is not. Bruce, don’t listen to him.” “Oh, yeah? Who knocked me into the railing in the firtht plathe?” “That was Jason’s fault. He’s the one who threw the football.” “Actually,” Jason chimes in, “that was Cass. I was an innocent bystander.” “Liar,” Cass says. “Don’t call me a liar.” “Liar.” “You’re the liar. She’s framing me, Bruce, I swear to god. I’ve never done anything wrong to my siblings in my entire life.” Dick makes a spluttering noise. “You once threw a pineapple at my head because I was breathing too loudly!” “And I don’t regret it one bit.” Bruce sighs. He doesn’t have the energy for this. He gently grasps Duke’s chin, being mindful of his sore jaw. “Where?” Duke pulls out the wad of gauze and opens his mouth wide. He points at the space where his front tooth used to be, then a canine on the bottom left which now consists of half a white shard. “Ith thith one and thith one.” Bruce hums. “I can get you a dentist appointment tomorrow afternoon. They’ll put a couple of caps in and you’ll be good as new.” He’ll have to rearrange a few things in his schedule. At least now he has a valid excuse to skip racquetball with Clark. There is no logical reason a bumpkin from Kansas should be better at racquetball than Bruce is, there just isn’t. “Tho my thmile ithn’t permanently ruined? Thath a relief. Thethe babieth are my betht feature,” he says, all the while bloody saliva dribbles from his lip like a deranged vampire. Best feature, definitely. “Don’t worry,” Dick says, throwing his arm around Duke’s shoulders. “Everyone in this room has had their teeth knocked out at one point or another. It’s a rite of passage around here.” “I don’t know how to tell you thith, but that doethn’t happen to normal people. We acthually prefer to keep our teeth, believe it or not.” “Wait until you get your first major battle scar. Trust me, they’re cool.” “Y’all need Jethuth.” “At least it’ll make for a good story one day,” Tim says. “Everyone loves scar stories.” Jason snorts. “People actually like death stories more, but go off I guess.” “Nobody cares that you died, Jay. Find new material.” “You want new material? Check this out.” Jason tugs down the collar of his sweater. He shows off the mostly-faded autopsy scar sliced up his torso and to his shoulders. Bruce winces. Dick yawns. “So? You got autopsied. Big whoop. Scars don’t count if you’re dead when you get them.” He tips his head down, parts a section of his hair with his fingers to show off the fresh scar on his scalp. “Talk to me when you get shot in the head.” Tim rolls his eyes. “You realize how stupid this is, right? We shouldn’t be arguing about who has the worst bodily trauma.” “Why,” Jason says, “because you know you’d lose?” “Because I’ve got you both beat.” He pulls up his t-shirt to display the surgical scar on his abdomen. “Missing spleen. Beat that.” “I lost a kidney. Kidney trumps spleen any day.” Cass rolls up the leg of her shorts to show off her bullet-riddled thigh. “Connect the dots. I win.” “But have you lost a vital organ?” Tim asks. “No.” “Spleens aren’t that vital,” Dick says. “Fuck off, at least you still have one.” “I would prefer to keep my organth,” Duke says. “Juth thaying.” “And you will,” Bruce assures him. “Probably.” “Probably?” “Look, I’m tired. We’re all tired. Can we schedule the scar contest for a later time when I’m hopefully not here to witness it?” Maybe he can ask Alfred to drug his tea from now on. At least then he can rest easy in a drug-induced slumber, knowing all the while that he’s missing the kind of petty arguments no parent should have to hear. “No one said you had to be here,” Dick says. “Anyway, Bane once slammed me against a wall and now my hip throbs when it rains.” “At least your wrist doesn’t click when you move it at the right angle.” Jason shakes his wrist next to Tim’s ear. Tim cringes. “You’re all amateurs,” a new voice says, and Bruce wants to die. Damian and Stephanie appear to have returned from patrol, still in their uniforms. “Try having your entire spine replaced.” Tim wrinkles his nose. “Great, it’s time to hear Damian talk about how much better than us he is. My favorite activity.” “Shut up, Drake. You’ve never experienced pain.” “I got blown up once! I still have burn scars all over my neck and shoulders!” “Eh. I’ve had worse.” Steph grins and holds up her left hand, just happy to be included. (Note to self: ponder whether Stephanie is secretly a golden retriever in human form.) “I have no feeling in these three fingers.” She pokes them to demonstrate. “And should I mention that I was tortured by Black Mask once? No? Because power tools were involved, in case anyone was wondering.” “Do I need to reiterate that I once died in an explosion?” “Jason. Little wing. I’m begging you to shut up about your death.” Cass points to a spot on her ribcage. “Two ribs made of metal. Got shattered during a fight. Four years old.” “My dad used to burn me with cigarettes every time I was bad, so...seven times a week, more or less.” “Oh, same!” Jason and Steph high-five. “My grandfather broke my arm in two places when I made a mistake during a training drill. He made me fight assassins for three hours straight afterward without so much as an ice pack.” Duke looks horrified. “Are you guyth okay?” “No offense, but none of you should talk unless you’ve gone through childbirth.” Stephanie rolls up the top portion of her Batgirl suit just enough to show off the scar across her lower belly. “You think getting blown up is hard? Try spending three hours in labor and having a baby ripped out of you. That’s hard.” Jason wipes away a fake tear. “Boo-hoo, someone had a baby when she was a teenager. Human reproduction doesn’t involve being beaten to death with a crowbar.” “Nobody cares that you died, Jason!” “Indeed,” Damian agrees. “Being stabbed by your clone is far worse than being caught in a little explosion. And I can take a crowbar beating in my sleep.” “I’m gonna kill him, Bruce. I’ll kill him right now. Just say the word and I’ll do it.” Bruce sighs, closing his eyes. “Duke, there are painkillers in the medicine cabinet if you need them. I’ll text you the time of your dentist appointment. The rest of you, please refrain from talking to me for the rest of the night.” Bruce walks away toward the manor, silently praying that he can forget this conversation ever happened. “Hey, who wants to see where Killer Croc bit my ass once?”

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rushingheadlong · 3 years

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Hey everyone. I’m sorry for not replying to the messages and asks I’ve gotten over the last day. I don’t have the spoons for individual responses right now, but I just want to thank all of you for your kind words and support.

I’m going to dip for a few more days. The queue is running, posts are scheduled, etc. etc. If you don’t want to read this whole post, like I said yesterday anon is staying turned off and if you need to contact me about Tim Weekend you can send me an ask off anon and just note that you want it answered privately and I’ll do that.

As much as I’d like to just leave this whole mess alone, I want to better address the accusation from that anon yesterday morning because I don’t know if I was clear enough at the time - but also because I’ve been keeping quiet about a lot of harassment that I’ve been dealing with for months now, and I’m done pretending that this hasn’t been going on.

DO NOT REBLOG THIS POST Anyone who reblogs this is getting immediately blocked.

First, I want to reiterate that I have no idea what’s going on with this user at all. I have never followed them, I have only ever had that one interaction with them on tumblr last summer, and I don’t read comment threads on AO3 (especially for other people’s stories) to know what’s going on over there.

But I do not approve of bullying and I don’t approve of harassing anyone in this fandom. I’m really not sure how I got caught up in this mess at all but I would hope that the contributions I have made to this fandom have shown that I’m not a bully. I fully acknowledge that I can be prickly and curt at times, but I would never attack someone like this user has been attacked.

Second, like I said yesterday, please don’t harass this user about any of this. I am deadly serious about that. I don’t know if they’re even aware that people have been doing this and it’s not fair to put the blame for other people’s actions on them.

And with all that out of the way, I’d like to explain what I’ve been going through because I think trying to keep quiet about this for so long was a mistake on my part. Hopefully this puts my answer from yesterday into better context and, if there are multiple people sending these messages, maybe they’ll realize the cumulative effect that they’ve been having and stop.

The long and short of it is that since my one interaction with this user last summer I have gotten numerous comments on AO3 and asks here demanding both to know why they were blocked and that I unblock them so they can interact with my content. Most, but not all, of these have been sent anonymously which has made it impossible to know where they’re coming from. I’ve been deleting these comments from my fics and deleting the asks without answering them because I didn’t want to add fuel to this fire or get dragged into a debate about my decisions here.

These messages have run the gamut from guilt-tripping, such as an anon ask saying “I think [user] would have really liked participating in Tim Weekend”, to openly hostile assertions that I am being a “c*nt” by keeping this user blocked. I got asks about this almost every time I turned anon on. When I explained to one person off anon that I wasn’t going to unblock this user, rather than accept that decision they have continued to send me multiple messages and leave comments demanding further explanations. Lately I think at least one person has been using post notifications to time their asks for when they knew I’d be online because I’ve been receiving these messages immediately after answering a different ask (as was the case yesterday morning).

I have been dealing with this harassment for over seven months. The stress of this has directly and drastically affected my mental health. It sounds stupid, but this was a large contributing factor to a breakdown that sent me back into therapy and onto medication to manage my anxiety better.

Again, this is simply over me having blocked someone - not because I have bullied them (I haven’t) and as far as I can tell it’s not because of anything I said to them in our single interaction last summer (you can see the entirety of what I said in my answer yesterday). Not that this level of harassment would be warranted in any circumstance, but I genuinely don’t know why I’ve been targeted like this. Having this thrown at me without knowing what I did to deserve this has only made an already upsetting situation even more distressing to deal with.

This ongoing harassment is the reason I kept anon turned off for so much of last year and have had my DMs restricted since last summer. This is why I don’t allow anonymous commenting on my fics on AO3 and why I usually don’t reply to comments over there at all. This is also a large reason why I’ve pulled back on writing Maycury and Freddie fics and why I don’t write Freddie meta/opinion posts at all anymore, because those are the things that were attracting most of the attention from these people. I have seriously considered leaving the fandom on multiple occasions because of this harassment.

I try my best to keep this blog positive and I avoid posting discourse and negativity over here as much as possible. I didn’t want to publish any of the asks because I didn’t want to encourage whoever is behind these to send more, and I also didn’t want y’all to have to see everything that was being said. I know this means that the ask yesterday seems like it came out of nowhere, and I’m really sorry for any drama that I stirred up by answering it.

However, I reached my breaking point about this and needed to finally say something. I’m sorry if the wording in my response wasn’t the best. It was one of the first things I saw in the morning and I answered it at about 8:30am with little proofreading, which is entirely my bad and I do apologize for that.

Like I said at the start of this post, I’m going to keep anon turned off on this blog. I’m really sorry to do this again because most of you are genuinely lovely and I enjoy chatting with you! But I cannot keep dealing with these asks and messages, not if I want to stay in this fandom.

And finally, If you’re one of the people who has been sending me the harassing messages over the last several months, please just stop. Please leave me alone, please stop insulting me and dog-piling on me in my fic comments, please just let me go back to my quiet corner of the fandom and enjoy myself over here.

I have never bullied this user and have only ever had that one interaction with them. Whoever you are looking to blame for whatever has been happening, it isn’t me - and frankly, after the months of harassment about this I am never going to unblock this user so you can stop trying to convince me to do that too.

Please do not message or harass the user in question over this and please do not reblog this post.

#long post //#not queen //#text #personal //#negativity //#fandom discourse //#anyway this is the last I'm going to say about any of this #thank you again for your kind words over the last day yall really are the best

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hintofcolor · 4 years

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Things I’ve managed to convince myself are canon:

Dick was born in Romania and spent his entire childhood traveling with the circus not once settling down therefore when his parents died in America (supposedly just another country they stopped in) he was forced to stay there. Meaning dick was an illegal immigrant for a long time while Bruce constantly was trying to use his money and power to get Dick legal without him leaving the country OR anyone finding out

This also means Dick couldn’t really speak English when he moved in with Bruce (this is backed up by him constantly dismantling the English language in the YJ cartoon)

All of the bat kids were bullied brutally in school

Bruce encouraged them to fight back just like Alfred did with him (“never throw the first punch but if get hit make sure they’re the ones that stay down”)

Dick spent a couple weeks in juvie after his parents died and it was the worst couple weeks of his life

Dick had a childhood crush on Wally (who is straight) when dick was 16 he sat Wally down and told him. He told him he expected nothing out of this confession he just hated feeling like he was lying to Wally, Wally understood and was really nonchalant about it nothing changed in their relationship

Jason grew up loving wonder woman and considered her his greatest inspiration in being a hero when he was robin

In return Diana absolutely adored Jason

When Jason got older his respect for Diana only grew and Diana constantly stood up for him, even going as far as (subtly) threatening Bruce a couple times

Jason can’t handle the smell of drugs at all, he always has to wear a filtered mask during drug busts just in case

Jason used to smoke but ever since coming back the smoke just reminds him of the explosion (I saw this somewhere I can’t remember where shout out to you tho)

Jason hates the color green

Tim was severely neglected as a child

Tim learned multiple different languages from all the nanny’s he’s had

Tim is an amazing photographer

All of Bruce’s kids are really close with Selina and go to her to talk or just if they need a break from Bruce and she absolutely adores it

This is one of the main reasons Bruce wanted to marry her

Bruce might be a little awkward and socially inept but he is a good father and loves all of his kids and even tho he might slip up sometimes he would NEVER (I’m looking at you Tim king) NEVER EVER intentionally hurt one of his kids physically or mentally BECAUSE THAT IS EXTEREMELY OUT OF CHARACTER @ ANY WRITER WHO HAS MADE BRUCE A JERK GOD LEARN YOUR CHARACTER JEEZ

Damian is a phenomenal artist and is considered a prodigy

It is something he keeps to himself however

Both Dick and Tim have gone and worked under Selina during thier robin days for a few weeks

The only person who is close to Dicks level when it comes to acrobatics is Selina

There are days where you are only allowed to speak in your native tongue to help Everyone keep up their language skills (Tim speaks Filipino dick speaks Romani Jason speaks Italian Stephanie speaks Portuguese Damian speaks Arabic bruce switches Cassie speaks Chinese) these are the days duke feels like slamming his head through a wall

All of the bat kids have green lantern shirts

Tim has a habit of stealing clothes from literally anyone

Tim prefers tea over coffee

Ace and Titus are both trained service dog however Titus is Damians specifically while Ace is trained to alert Alfred of Bruce and to alert Bruce of Dick Tim and Jason

Bruce is think about getting another dog for Cassie steph and duke because he doesn’t want to overwhelm Ace with 3 more people

Nobody in that spoiled family except for Jason and Alfred can make ANYTHING other that ramen cereal and toast

Dick is insanely healthy because that’s how he grew up in the circus AND the manor

Bruce once lit the refrigerator on fire trying to cook. No one knows how. He denies he ever did such to this day

Dick was considered a heartthrob as a teen and actually was featured on vogue in native dress and took the opportunity to talk about his culture

Vickie was fuming but so was Lois

Dick dresses like Harry styles. Convince me otherwise. I dare you.

However his go to look is a Hawaiian short tucked into black skinny jeans and black converse

Just like Selina everyone in the batfamily has a tendency to confide in Dinah

No homophobia sexism or racism is allowed in the Wayne house hold if you display any of the following you will promptly be kicked out. It has happened before

Cassie has punched lex Luther in the face at a gala

Bruce laughed

Cass has also only worn sweats and a sports bra to a gala

Cass is a ballet dancer and likes teaching her brothers the moves she has learned

When Bruce came back from the dead and found out the justice league thought Tim was going insane with grief and didn’t do anything about it he yelled and screamed for a solid hour. Then he went silent. for weeks he didn’t say a word. It was the most terrifying he had ever been

Duke hangs on to the fact that he is the only meta allowed in Gotham with absolute pride

All the robins check in on the kids from the ‘we are robin’ movement every now and again just to make sure they are okay

Adults are terrified of the bats however children love them

Every member of the batfamily has been called over by child screaming out their window only to spend the next hour helping said child with their homework

Batman makes sure he is approachable to children he wants them to feel safe enough around him to ask for his help no matter what

That has led to him: 1. Patching up stuff animals 2. Calming down imaginary friends 3. Giving opinions on important matters such as which color is the best 4. Helping with homework 5. Trying to be persuaded into convincing the parents not to make broccoli anymore. It’s his favorite part about putting on a mask

Teenagers tho a little more hesitant also approach him with a little more serious matters and more for advice. (How can I help my friend with depression? How can I help my anxiety? I think friend is doing drugs how can I help. I don’t think these are good people I’m hanging out with but now I’m too scared to stop)

However if teens catch any bat sitting on a rooftop close to their windows they ask more stupid type of questions

“Hey nightwing how do you ask out a girl?” “Red hood I’m trying to write this book so hypothetically how long does it take some one to bleed out?” “If I payed you would you take my physical for PE for me?” “How good do you think you would do on the pacer test?” “Can you tell my little sister to shut up, she’ll listen to you?” “How much do I have to pay you to scare my friend?”

Talks between people and the vigilantes from rooftop to window happen a lot and it is always the highlight of the patrol. They like that the people of Gotham trust them.

Jason was brought back via whatever that superboy reset was (I’m still a little fuzzy, sue me) clawed his way out of his grave and then found by Talia. He was then but in the pit for his head injuries. Making it easier for the shadows to manipulate and brainwash him into hating Bruce. However that’s the only thing they manipulated him into. Jason didn’t go ‘insane by the pit’ and his thoughts and stances on killing are his own. And the way Bruce handles Jason being back is what made Jason continue hating Bruce even aged the brainwashing ‘wore off’

The day his dad died was what Jason considered the best day of his life

Dick is extremely intelligent and was considered a child prodigy (this isn’t a headcanon this is actually canon some of y’all just forget and need to be reminded)

Dick loves math (also canon)

Jason can sing. Like really really well.

Theater Nerd™️ Jason Todd

Jason is scared of thunderstorms

Damian is afraid of heights

Lady shiva absolutely adores Tim

They have all been arrested a few times each for varying reasons when they were teenagers

If Alfred or Bruce yell one thier full names the other kids will cover for them but ONLY if they use the full name other wise it’s every man for himself

I know this one isn’t batfam but I think kon playes the electric guitar and has a really unique punk-ish vibe type singing voice (think hobo Johnson)

Dick has naturally curly hair

#comics #dc comics #tim drake #damain wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #bruce wayne #bruce is a good dad #alfred pennyworth #selina kyle #wally west #birdflash #kon el

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lenawin4 · 3 years

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an offer you can’t refuse

HOW WE DOIN ELLICK FANS?

I had this fic in my drafts halfway done, but after I watched that promo, I finished it in like, two hours. hope y’all enjoy. (also, may or may not contribute to the wave of 18x05/18x06 speculation fics. EXCITED)

summary:

“It’ll be fun,” Nick said on Day Four, then looked at them incredulously. “What? You’ve never taken down the mafia before?” ft. the whole gang, some blink-and-you’ll-miss-it mentions of Tiva, and prank wars.

Or: Nick’s jealous, Ellie’s clueless, and the team dismantles a crime family.

rating: gen, k+

length: 3.4k

genres: fluff, minor angst, romance

read on ffn | ao3

So Ellie’s in her corner of the bullpen, and Nick can’t stop looking at her. That’s how it all starts.

She’s wearing one of her cashmere sweaters, and they’ve been working this case for so long that her outfit is three days old. The bags under her eyes can’t be hidden by makeup and the curls in her hair have started to flatten. She has that crease in between her eyebrows that warns him not to bother her with a stupid joke, but that’s never stopped him before.

Ellie’s phone rings, so he freezes in the middle of sauntering over to her, halfway through the bullpen. It’s magic: her eyes widen slightly; the crease disappears; a slow smile spreads, then a grin.

The corners of his mouth start to slip upward, but he fights it down because McGee is at his desk. He’s talking to the local PDs, spelling out one of the long Italian names they’re trying to pin on something, and Tim is eyeing him like a hawk.

“Mark?” Ellie shouts into the phone.

Who?

“Gimme a sec,” Ellie points to her phone and mouths, I have to take this, sorry, and Nick is left gaping at the back of her head as she runs to the break room.

That happens on Day Six. A recap:

Dead sailor in a drive-by shooting in Bethesda. Grab your gear.

There was cocaine underneath the bed and piles of cash in the closet in the sailor’s apartment.

McGee traced a bank account in the Caymans to a Joey DiGiorno, as in, It’s-not-delivery-it’s-DiGiorno’s.

“Do you think he has a cousin named Domino’s?” Ellie asked; and —

For the fifth time this month, Nick realizes that he’s in love with Ellie Bishop.

Joey does not have a cousin, but he does have a criminal record and an uncle who happens to be the DC/Virginia/Maryland leader of the DiGiorno Family.

“Wow, two states and the capital city,” said McGee. “Impressive.”

On top of Nick’s To Do List - Get Gibbs everything on this guy: records, cars, girlfriends, other nieces and nephews, etc., etc.

“It’ll be fun,” Nick said on Day Four, then looked at them incredulously. “What? You've never taken down the mafia before?”

McGee follows the money to a nightclub in DC (“Do they serve pizza?”; “Nick, please.”), but there’s no way to know when or how the drugs are smuggled into the building, which can only mean one thing: stakeout time.

Stakeouts are the worst. Stakeouts mean unlimited time in a confined place with nothing better to do, the uncomfortable silence of Nick and his thoughts and the little place in his head that teeters between sixteen different names and a glass jar of lake water that hides on the shelf of his apartment.

Right now, a stakeout is the best thing that could ever happen to him.

So, Mark. He can’t exactly Boyle his way into this, not after Bishop nearly chewed his head off because he cancelled her date.

It’s not helping that Bishop keeps smiling at her phone every two hours, and semi-aggressively types out a text in all caps and extra exclamation marks. (He watches the way her fingers move. He knows those are exclamation marks. Like, at least ten of them.)

“Didn’t know dates liked it when you yelled at them all the time.”

“What?” Ellie says, not looking up from her phone.

He puts his feet up on the desk a little too harshly. Ellie wrinkles her nose.

“What could possibly be more important than this very, very interesting stakeout right now? Don’t you see there’s a hooker in front of the club and it’s barely noon? We should report it to Gibbs.”

There’s that sarcastic laugh that’s reserved for him, a quip about not being able to afford her, then back to the invisible Mark he’s heard nothing about.

To: ninja lady, 11:59

hey on a stakeout w El. what should i do

To: big wuss, 12:05

prank war. worked for us.

To: ninja lady, 12:06

i’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not

He tells her he’s buying fast food and chips a few blocks away. He asks the cashier for an extra paper bag and places a spring-loaded glitter bomb from the Dollar Tree at the bottom.

To: ninja lady, 14:05

success

To: big wuss, 14:07

ha! watch your six. revenge is tasty, no?

To: ninja lady, 14:09

i think you mean vengeance is sweet, but check with your husband

Nick returns from a bathroom break and peers left and right. Nothing in the room has changed: Ellie is still finishing the bag of fries. Her head is turned towards the window, and she’s glancing at her phone every few seconds. Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but he sort of doesn’t care. His chair hasn’t moved from the computer desk, and there are no booby traps outside the bathroom door or in the hallway.

Okay. The coast is clear.

“Hey, maybe you should check your face one more time, I think you still have glitter — ”

Splat.

His chair explodes in a tidal wave of green and red paint, splattering all over his jeans — gross, it feels so cold — and his leather jacket.

When he looks up, Ellie’s beaming at him from behind her phone, fry stuck in her mouth like a cigarette, green paint smeared across her cheek like evidence. Mercilessly, she sends the video to McGee, Kasie, and Tony.

To: big wuss, 17:25

I’m disappointed.

To: ninja lady, 17:29

yeah, yeah, laugh all you want

this sucks

To: big wuss, 17:30

Not just the stakeout, I presume?

To: ninja lady, 17:32

who the hell is Mark

she keeps texting him

it’s distracting me

To: ninja lady, 17:35

you know, from work

To: big wuss, 17:40

Oh, Nicholas.

(Across the Atlantic, in a small apartment in Paris, a married couple compares recent messages.

Ziva clicks her tongue. “I think he might be a bigger wuss than you, Tony.”

“I had better pranks than this guy, okay, at least give me that.”)

There’s a crowd of seamen lounging around the club. Their voices send pinpricks into his brain, and he can smell the alcohol from the second floor of this building. The bouts of laughter and shouts are interrupted by crunching. Next to him, the foul smell of artificial cheese surrounds Eleanor Bishop. Her fingers are coated with orange dust. Her eyes are laser-focused on the group of men, arms around each other, starting to sing the first bars of “Piano Man”. She licks her lips, and a bit of orange dust is left over at the edge of her mouth. She brings her fingers to her lips to lick them clean.

Nick’s mouth is suddenly dry.

Okay, okay, he needs to focus. Focus. It’ll be easy.

When he finally turns away, the hooker is grabbing one of the men by his tie, who tries to pull away. He rolls his eyes, but before Nick can say, “Playing hard to get, are we?”, the sailor is handing her a thick wad of cash. It’s exchanged for something thickly wrapped in saran plastic wrap, and he jolts out of his seat.

“It was the hooker!”

Nick did not know running that quickly in high heels was possible.

Ellie’s phone dings three times past his limit on the way to the interrogation room. The sound grates against his ears and his eyes can’t roll further up his socket. She doesn’t even notice.

They’re behind the glass, waiting for McGee to question her, when Gibbs walks in. He takes one look at the green paint on Ellie’s cheek and sees the same paint on Nick’s jeans.

Before Ellie can try to explain, Nick announces, “Gibbs, I told Ellie to call you about the hooker hours ago and she didn’t listen to me!”

“That is not true!”

“Yes, it is!”

“Wait, so we’re just going to give up?” Ellie’s hair is still slightly frazzled from tackling the suspect down, strands loose on her forehead and around her ears. She ran up and down four flights of stairs to catch her, but they’ve been given an order to push the case to another day with another lead. “What about Sugar Honey?”

“We can’t catch anyone higher up the food chain if she doesn’t consent to wearing a wire.”

“So sneak one on her!” The Director raises his eyebrows.

“Bishop.” She snaps around, eagerly awaiting Gibbs’s cowboy orders. “Go home. Get some sleep.”

“What? I can’t believe you’re actually agreeing with this.”

“Ellie,” Nick says, coming to her supposed rescue. There’s a flicker of hope in her eyes, and he hesitates to kill it. But he has to. He stands up, and immediately yelps and whines. Guiltily, he savors the look of concern she gives him. “Actually, could you drive me home? I think I twisted my ankle when we were chasing down Sugar Honey.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Ellie pouts. It maybe makes his stomach flutter, which is stupid, because Nick doesn’t feel things like that.

“You know me. Stoic face and all. I could get stabbed and none of you would know.”

“You know, that’s not a good thing.” She grabs his car keys from his jacket and puts his arm around her shoulders.

Bishop throws a stern look to the Director and Gibbs. Their bosses look half-confused, half-amused; Nick avoids Gibbs’s knowing look. “Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She walks him to his car. He feels warm and lonely all at once, because her phone rings two more times.

Nick plops down on the passenger seat, and Ellie wrenches the car into ignition, and says with no small amount of strife, “I know you’re lying and I’m either taking you to your apartment or back to the club. Your choice.”

Um. “Hey, let’s not do anything dangerously impulsive here.”

“Me? Impulsive? What about you?”

“What? When have I ever done anything dangerous or impulsive?”

“You stole a truck and totaled it when you were chasing down a suspect last month. Gibbs was already waiting on another block to cut him off.”

“Well, at least I didn’t get hurt.”

“You had a concussion and I had to wake you up every hour that night.”

They’re already out of the Navy Yard, almost ten over the speed limit, and going in the opposite direction of his apartment.

“Okay, I’m sorry I lied about my ankle. But Bishop.” He’s not sure how to say it, so what leaves his mouth is a sound of frustration. “You can’t dismantle the mafia with just this one case. These things take time. One Sugar Honey confession was the best we could do today. And that’s okay. But we’ll catch another one tomorrow, or maybe next week, and the week after that.”

The car slows down; Ellie’s pout becomes more pronounced. The sudden U-turn makes him clutch at the dashboard and pray for his life.

“Fine,” Ellie says. “But — ”

“Tomorrow, I will help you possibly arrest a drug dealer, that will lead us to the drug supplier, that will lead us to the boss.”

She nods, hands tightly holding the steering wheel. There’s glitter in her hair and streaks of paint on her jeans. They’ve barely slept in the past two days, driving each other insane.

“I can take the couch for a few hours and then we’ll be on our way. We both need to rest.”

Ellie doesn’t reply.

“If you don’t crash at my place, I’ll call Gibbs and tell him you’re going back to the club.”

Ellie protests for the rest of the car ride, but Nick doesn’t budge an inch.

The stakeout resumes peacefully. Gibbs and Vance were right: the dealers are spooked and no deals occur for the next week.

Bishop doesn’t spend every single moment on her phone, so at least there’s that. He can’t deny the twinge of longing every time he sees her eyes brighten at the sound of another text.

Still, even that is nothing compared to the ache he feels when she yawns and rubs her eyes. It’s the type of case that makes her want to prove herself, to risk everything to accomplish her ambitions, to run after something without a thought of the consequences. He knows the feeling. He has that feeling every time a kid is involved.

So he triples the bags of junk food on the floor of the moldy apartment. He lets her rest a little more when it’s his watch. She curls up in the blanket she stole from his apartment and sighs in her sleep.

They’re both exhausted, so their prank war grinds to a halt. Nick’s exasperated, and he doesn’t reply to any of Ziva’s requests for updates. Ellie’s smile is something admirably distracting and infuriating, especially when it’s not directed to him.

Here’s the thing, though: Nick can’t imagine when Ellie had time to go on a date with a Mark that he’s never met or heard of in the past few weeks. Before Operation Take DiGiorno’s to Prison, they had back-to-back murders that took a total of two weeks out of their lives. Before those, Nick went to pilates with her for three consecutive weekends. So whoever this Mark is, might be special to her. Someone she wants to keep to herself. Someone she wants to talk to all day, someone she wants to smile and laugh with, someone she wants to be with. It’s that simple.

It’s just not Nick.

The seaman in Interrogation still isn’t talking, but at least there’s something in the cocaine.

“Local PD’s been digging up everything they can about the drug ring for months, and this little sample here matches their signature packaging and purity. But I’m telling you, whoever hired their chemists needs to do a better job, cause this stuff ain’t pure at all.”

“Can we connect it to Joey or the uncle?”

“I’m so glad you asked. We, in fact, do have a way to arrest them, thanks to Kasie — ”

“Don’t talk about yourself in the third person.”

“Okay, someone’s grumpy! DiGiorno’s olive oil company bought bulk chemicals, which are being delivered to this address. We’ve got dimethyl sulfoxide, tetrahydrofuran — ”

“English, Kasie.”

“Coke. They’re making coke. Trust me, those materials are not extra virgin.”

He grunts out a thanks and swirls around, ready to leave.

“Woooaaahhh there, son.” Kasie holds her hands out in front of her to tame him. “What’s going on with you, Nicholas?”

“What? Nothing!”

“Okay. Then I guess it has nothing to do with you and your feelings.”

“What? Nothing’s up with Bishop and me!”

“I didn’t say anything about Bishop.”

“Okay,” Nick chuckles, searching for an exit route that may or may not involve rolling past Kasie in a very ninja-like manner before booking it out of the building. “You said something, I said something, now we’re both confused, and I gotta go now, bye!”

McGee’s hawk eyes peer at him when Bishop retreats to the break room again. It makes Nick squirm in his seat and try to pry his gaze away from her empty desk.

“Is something going on between you and Bishop?”

“Uh, no, why, did she say something?” He crosses his arms to quell the sound of his heart.

McGee scoffs. “I mean. You guys have barely talked since you came back from the stakeout.”

“Well. I don’t need to talk to her. All the time.”

“But you do.”

Nick makes a face. Bishop strolls back into the bullpen, carefree and light, and he shuts his mouth.

“What do we got?” Gibbs says, and McGee has no choice but to brush this under the rug.

It’s Day Ten, more accurately Night Ten, and they’re sitting in the car, driving to the warehouse where they’ll arrest Joey and his uncle. She’s wearing a vest and he has the urge to clean his gun before a shootout. But they’ll be fine.

He glances at her tied-up hair and the clench of her jaw. His hands tighten on the steering wheel, because he wants to hold her face in his hands and tangle his fingers in her hair. He wants to tell her something he can barely admit to himself.

She says nothing. The phone doesn’t ring. He keeps driving.

He forgets she has a vest on. He forgets everything, really, when he sees Ellie go down in the middle of the raid, and Joey starts running away. Gibbs yells at him to call an ambulance before he and McGee chase after the idiot who shot his partner.

Nick scrambles to her side, vision blurring, and he has more trouble breathing than she does when he reaches her. “Bishop, El, you’re gonna be okay, alright?”

Ellie groans as he slices her vest open. The bullet clatters off the Kevlar.

“Nick,” Ellie’s saying. “Nick, I’m fine.” His hands hover, barely brushing over her arms, neck, head — I have to check for concussion — and it does nothing to reassure him, until her hands fold into his. “Nick.”

She looks at him, mouth parted, cheeks flushed. Her ribs are probably bruised, if not broken. Her hands are the only source of stability; every other part of him is shaking.

“You’re alright.”

Ellie breathes out a heavy sigh; it shakes like his legs quiver, and he has to kneel next to her. “I’m alright.”

Along with the DEA, they confiscate every last bit of cocaine from the warehouse, effectively crippling the crime family’s major source of money. Joey rats on every aspect of his uncle’s business for a shorter sentence. As the EMTs are wrapping her ribs up, Nick holds his hand up for Ellie to slap and says, “We took DiGiorno’s to prison!”

He offers her his arm and a ride home. She graciously accepts, and the smile is his, again, for now.

But he can’t not say anything now. She almost — she almost. There’s nothing else to say about that.

So Nick says, “So, you’re going home to Mark today? You got a hot date?”

He’ll get over that lump in his throat, that spike in his pulse eventually. She’s alive, and he’ll be fine.

He doesn’t expect her to start laughing, only to be interrupted by a wince and a tender hand on her left side. “Nick, who do you think Mark is?”

“Uh.” There’s a dark hole of miscalculation, the feeling of falling down the cliff of Being Wrong. “Your hot new date you kept texting over the past, like, five days?”

Nick rolls his eyes. “Stop laughing, you’ll make your ribs worse.”

“It’s — ” Ellie takes a deep breath and pulls out her phone. She scrolls, and Nick’s about to say something about not wanting to read her love letters to Mark when:

Auntie Ellie, thanks for my birthday gifts! I miss you so much.

The voice can’t be older than five, with a light stammer and a lisp. Nick takes his eyes off the road to gape at a boy with two missing front teeth, and his heart both soars and sinks. Someone honks behind them, and he steps on the gas pedal, startled that he’s stopped at a green light.

“Well.”

“He turned four last week, and my brother’s been letting him call or text me videos every day. They’re stuck in Oklahoma and they miss me.” He can hear her shrug, the fabric of her jacket rustling against the car’s leather seat, but he keeps his eyes on the road. “I haven’t been home in almost two years.”

“I’m sorry.” It punctuates the silence that follows, leaving them both speechless, wondering, wishing.

“Were you jealous?” Ellie whispers.

“Yes.” He can’t stop himself. Not anymore. Nick floors the brake and looks at his passenger’s seat, red light shining on her, everything else dark and unimaginably lonely. “Yes.”

Ellie nods, then smiles. “Okay.”

They arrive the next morning together. McGee smirks at his phone. Kasie’s eyes switch between them, back and forth, before she raises an eyebrow and glares at Nick, threatening and protective. Gibbs says nothing. Nick smiles the whole morning, because he still tastes her lipstick on his teeth and feels her hair in his fingers.

To: big wuss, 10:20

Congratulations. You aren’t a bigger wuss than Tony.

To: ninja lady, 10:25

ha. thanks

for everything, i mean, i guess.

To: big wuss, 10:26

You’re very welcome, Nicholas.

fin.

#ellick #ellick fanfiction #ncis #ncis fanfiction #a very small bit of tiva #just enough to satisfy my own needs

14 notes · View notes

flying-nightwing · 4 years

Text

Dark Fox (3/7)

Heyyyy people. I’m finally back with part 3 for y’all. A bit of action, some more mystery ;) ;) Anyway, enjoy! And if you do like it, please don’t hesitate to comment your thoughts and reactions. It’s really encouraging to see support!

Previous - Next

Pairing: Jason Todd x League!reader

Word count: 4307

Warnings: same as announced in part 1

"We got him, boss"

Jason sighed, knowing he'd have to kill his way out of this one. That meant he'd use his killing allowed wildcard for the rest of the mission and he wasn't particularly thrilled about it. He would already get the lecture about exposing they were on the case, and Batman wouldn't let him hear the end of it.

"Guys, guys" He tried to buy himself some time to come up with an execution plan. "We're all friends here, aren't we?"

"Shut up" One more gun was pointed at him, this time in his face.

"Come on man, I'm just a guy who--"

The lights went off. Jason didn't know how, because he hadn't been the one to cut the power, but he certainly didn't waste the small window of opportunity to get out of the shooting line and disarm the man in front of him. He shot him, then the man behind him who had held him at gunpoint by the neck. He could hear running and screaming, orders being barked and the platoon around him moving. He turned around, ready to shoot whoever was there, but he found… Nothing. He adjusted his night vision lenses and only saw three more bodies around.

Each ones with a black arrow stuck in their chest.

Your feet were light when you landed behind him, like a shadow forming out of the darkness in the red emergency light glow. But he had heard you, his hearing was fine enough to detect the subtlest movement. From behind you could see the reflection of his red helmet, a new one that wasn't cracked. He turned slowly to come face to face with you.

"You couldn't stay away for too long, could you?"

You gave your answer by shooting an arrow at the provenance of yet another infrared line pointed at him, not looking away the whole time. But you knew you had hit your target, because you heard a body fall down the rail and onto the first floor.

"We have three squads like this one headed this way" You informed him. "And I'd rather not waste any more arrows"

“Then let’s blow this popsicle stand”

“This way”

You ran through the first doorway to your left, knowing you would have an escape route there. You had learned the blueprint by heart, so you went toward where there were the most exit options. But soon enough, the motion sensor alerts your had configured on your watch vibrated, letting you know the squads were closing in. You stopped at the junction of three hallways, evaluating the situation. Jason practically bumped into you, cursing under his breath.

“Why are you stopping here?” He asked, looking in between the three corridors while you glanced up for a second. Bingo.

“They’re too close, it’ll be easier to get out here”

“Easier--” He narrowed his eyes in confusion. “What the fuck-”

He shut up at the glare you sent him, before going back to your plan. You loaded an explosive in your next arrow and shot the door, knowing it would buy you a few minutes by burning the digital pad. You then stepped in front of Jason and loaded a gas one and waited for the footsteps to arrive, bow drawn and aim locked.

“Hold your fire ready” You instructed, backing up so your back almost touched him. Your eyes never left your target, and soon enough, shadows began to grow in the red lights. His gun aimed over your shoulder. “And activate your smoke vision. When they go blind, cover me”

“You’re insane”

You didn’t have to respond in any other way than an eye roll when the squad rounded the corner. You shot in the crowd, the man fell down and a thick gas was released. You shot the same type of arrow on the other open hallway as you began to hear gunshots on the door you had shut down earlier. Shouts and cough echoed, then a rush to put on gas mask and find a moving target in the smoke.

Jason began shooting, angling his gun with precision. You did not see what he was shooting, since you didn’t have smoke goggles on. Instead, you aimed your next arrow at the glass ceiling and shot.

“Fuck!” Jason yelled.

“Stop whining” You bit back as he kept shooting around you. You tied the hook on your belt to an arrow and nocked it, aiming for the wooden structure above you. You shot right through it, then passed the wire through Jason’s belt to clip it on yours. You gave the line a tug with your bow, and it began pulling you up. You wrapped your legs around Jason and under his arms, bringing him up with you. He let out a yelp of surprise, followed by a curse, but you manage to finesse your exit before the smoke cleared.

He grabbed the ledge of the wood a second after you did, and you pulled yourself up on the beam. You ran across it, away from the bullets and jumped a few buildings away, far enough so they couldn’t see you anymore. You made sure nobody had followed you before removing your mask. Jason did the same, hair sticking everywhere. The wind from the rooftop didn’t make it any better, but he didn’t seem to care. He only looked at you, confused as to what on Earth you could possibly be doing in Gotham alone, and as to how you found him just at the right moment, and probably as to what the hell had just went down. That had been your most dramatic exit so far. But it was the least important question of his that needed answering.

“Why are you here?” He asked, figuring out you wouldn’t speak first. You never spoke first, and that was one of the mysteries about you he had never been able to figure out.

“I need your help”

His eyes widened at your confession. You reached in your jacket and handed him the file, which he silently skimmed through, brows furrowed in concentration. Then, his features morphed into realization. You had been there at the same time as him because you had been sent on the same case he was working on. He should have expecting it, given your connection to the matter, but somehow it had never crossed his mind that you could show up. The only coincidence in this was that he had been investigating this project at the same time and place as you.

“Well, as it turns out” He began, handing you back the file. “I’m working on the same case, and my team could use your help too”

You raised an eyebrow.

“They’re not my team per say” He clarified. “We’re just coming together for the sole purpose of bringing this bio-weapon down”

“How well do you know them?” You asked carefully. “And they you?”

“More than I would care to admit” He sighed. “... Everybody there is keeping secrets. Yours will be fine”

You took a moment to think his offer through. You didn’t trust that said team, but at the same time, you needed them. After what went down tonight, there was no way you could handle it alone, or even only with Jason. And if there was one person that would be willing to cover for you, it was him. It was your opportunity to go through with your plan. You looked up again and gave him a firm nod.

He combed his hair with his hand and took a deep breath. “They seemed to have found a way to stabilize the weapon and make it work” He said, looking at the city lights on the horizon. It was a surprisingly clear night for Gotham. “They worked quicker than we had anticipated”

You had expected that turnout, since William stamm was the scientist recruited to work on the project. A brilliant mind, but his insanity cost him a nobel prize or two. He would always create monstrosities that impressed, but most of all scared people. No wonder he had been the one to work for Luthor.

“We should head back and inform the team of the new development…” He trailed off, sending you a glance. “All of them”

“Then let’s go”

---

“Woah what the fuck”

You easily caught mid-air the shuriken thrown your way, barely blinking at the action and the rather loud exclamation. The two men in front of you were on the defensive, even after Jason made a show of sighing and throwing his arms up in annoyance. Their eyes were on you, and you held the staring contest.

“Can everybody please calm the fuck down?” Jason came to stand in the way. “Tim, put that down, jesus”

Tim reluctantly put down his shurikens. “Who’s that?”

“And why is she wearing the league suit?” The other man said, still eyeing you like you’d attack them at any second. You recognized this one, Dick Grayson.

“It’s help” He replied vaguely. “And it’s--”

“Because I’m from the league” You replied for yourself, taking a step forward. You pushed the shuriken back on the table toward them. “But I’m not after any of you”

“Well that’s good to know” Tim snorted before glancing at Jason. “You still did blow our cover, Jaybird”

“Anyone she can tell either already knows or don’t give a shit about your stupid alter egos” Jason rolled his eyes once more.

“Still!”

“I called her here to help, okay?” He lied smoothly. You didn’t react, but you were glad he did cover for you. “Would you just trust me one second?”

“That would be easier if you had asked before bringing a stranger here”

It wasn’t easy to surprise you, but the fourth person joining the conversation did. You didn’t hear him come at all, and even now that you were aware of his presence, you could barely hear his footsteps. You turned your head to the side to take a look at him; he was tall and built for combat, like everyone else in the room. But his presence occupied a lot more space, and you deducted he was the leader of this little team.

After all, you doubted Bruce Wayne would do well as second.

“That stranger is the reason Red Hood got out without revealing you all were involved, and with a peek at their tech” Jason argued. “Which is now very much functional and probably ready to go”

“What?” Dick rejoined the conversation. “That’s not possible”

“It is” You replied. “Stamm is known to work fast and relentlessly until he succeeds. And as your surely know it, he’s got an impressive record of building up bioengineering monsters without a care on how it’s used. I don’t have trouble believing he worked ahead of schedule”

All eyes were on you now.

“You know him?” Bruce raised an eyebrow.

“I know of him” You nodded slightly, crossing your arms in front of you. “He wasn’t there at the lab earlier, which means he’s either already long gone, or under Luthor’s protection. He won’t risk him exposing a failsafe, that is most certain”

“How much do you know about this bio weapon?” He asked, and you could not read the intent of his question.

“Close to nothing” You admitted. “I suppose you’re not that much more ahead either”

Jason snorted, while Bruce’s eyes narrowed. Then, he relaxed.

“Well, you did do us a solid by bailing out Jason” He said, a half smile appearing on his face. “I’d be glad to have you and your skills with us on this one”

Tim choked on his coffee and Dick’s eyes went wide. You ignored their reactions, not looking away from Bruce. He offered you his hand, and after a quick glance down, you took it and shook it. There was nothing friendly about the way you felt his muscles tense, it rather was a warning. A warning that although he agreed to work with you, he did not trust you and would take you down if necessary. The message was loud and clear.

“I am aware of the way of the League, so I must ask” He began when your hand dropped to your side again. “Have you found anywhere to stay in Gotham yet?”

“This city has no shortage of empty warehouses” You answered indirectly, and he hummed. You still weren’t sure of his intent, and you would rather not him find out of some of your lairs.

“Well, there are also no shortage of empty rooms here” He countered, and it was your turn to narrow your eyes. “You’d be welcome to stay here. It would facilitate relaying information, and since you already know where we operate…”

“Bruce” Dick warned.

“What do you say?”

You looked at Jason beside you. You didn’t trust Bruce, mostly because of his obvious wariness towards you. He was probably offering that to keep an eye on you, or to have better control over you. But Jason gave you an affirmative nod, and him, you trusted. So you turned your attention back to Bruce and agreed to his proposition.

“Thank you”

“We can take care of your things tomorrow, if you have any more than what you have one” He pointed out, knowing you didn’t have any valuable left behind. And he was right. “In the meanwhile, there are some clothes here you can change into. They should fit”

“Come on, you can’t let her wear Steph’s clothes?” Tim whined.

“Shut up Tim” Jason groaned, throwing his head back. “She doesn’t even know it’s still there”

“You shut up--”

“Alright!” He sighed, knowing Tim would never let it go. “We’ll go grab the stuff now, we’ll talk about the plan tomorrow”

“You’ll show her an empty room when you come back?” Bruce asked Jason, and the younger man nodded. “See you tomorrow, then”

“Yeah whatever”

-----

“That’s it”

You halted your steps and turned to face Jason, who was panting and affirmatively mad. Heavy snow was resting on his shoulders and head, even on his long eyelashes. His cheeks were red from the cold, making the blue of his eyes pop out. He was glaring at you, but that wasn’t new.

“You’re doing this on purpose. There is no point in that but to piss me the fuck out” He spat. “I bet you’re liking this uh?”

You rolled your eyes.

“Are you done?” You asked, your neutral expression ever present on your face. “Nightfall comes soon, and we still have some distance to go”

WInter had come, and you thought it was time to leave the cabin for a while to train in less than ideal conditions. You had decided to trek up the mountain to set camp on higher grounds, where the snow and wind would be a good environment to build up endurance to the elements. But as usual, Jason disagreed.

He threw his backpack on the ground, still panting. “No, I’m not walking another step. Let’s set camp here”

“This blizzard is coming down strong, and by morning there will be at least a meter of snow more” You informed him. “So we’d be buried alive. So if you want to stop here, be my guest”

You gave him a quick smile and resumed your ascension. You heard him curse under his breath, put his backpack on again and hurry after you. He did not comment for the rest of the journey, not even when you had to climb the iced wall of rocks or take an almost inhumane leap across a fissure on the ground. He could barely stand when you finally reached the cave on the non-exposed side of the mountain, his legs aching and his hands bloody under his gloves. You let him sit down as you prepared the fire and skinned one of the rabbits you had hunted for the trip, knowing he would have to rest for the next part of the training. You remembered too well doing the same thing, biting back your pain as not to show it.

You gave him his food as well as his personal space for a while, before you went to him again. You gestured for him to follow you, and with a groan, he stood up and limped after you. It became warmer and warmer the further you went, and down a small slope laid a round pool of steaming blue water, sculpted in the rocks by time and hydro pressure.

“Is this a hot spring?” Jason muttered in almost awe and you nodded.

“It’ll be good for your muscles to rest” You replied. “It’ll also warm you. Next time, don’t forget your gloves”

“It would be easier if I had some” He snarked back with a scoff, but you had already walked away.

You went back to the fire and set a pot of tea, knowing you’d take it alone that night. It was strange, not to have him around. For months you had gotten used to his presence, usually silent but there nevertheless. You liked to think as tea time as neutral ground, where whatever happened during training was put aside for a quarter of hour to decompress in peace. It made you realized you might have felt bad for the blisters on his palms and the almost frost bites he had gotten. But you were glad to see his progress with how he handled it, that being with a minimum of curses and complaining. A few weeks ago only he would have surely taken your head off for that. Granted, this little trip was far from over and there was still time for him to do so, but the worst was behind you.

You went out and cleaned the pot with snow, and put it in a corner with the rest of your stuff. You added some wood to the fire to keep it going and took off your jacket, hood and boots to have them dry nearby. You did the same with your pants and other layers, until all was left was your thermal protection. You went straight in the direction of the hot spring and put your remaining clothes on a rock, before you walked in the water.

Jason’s eyes went wide.

“What are you doing?”

You didn’t answer straight away, you only tilted your head slightly to the side. Was he… Uncomfortable? Unsettled? Nervous, even?

“Enjoying the hot spring”

“I-- I’m already here” He argued, but he didn’t seem very confident in it. “Naked. And so are you”

“... And?” You raised an eyebrow, relaxing in the hot water. He went to say something else, but he closed his mouth and sank a bit more in the water. You enjoyed the sound of the cave in silence, the echo of the water reflecting on the rock walls, the creaking and groaning of the ice and snow outside, not oblivious to Jason’s wary eyes on you. It was like he was expecting you to pull a sword out of thin air and attack him.

“It’s just I’ve never seen you wear any less than three layers of clothing, that’s all” He grumbled under his breath. “It’s weird. You seem smaller”

It was your turn to widen your eyes, slowly.

“Smaller?” You repeated. He mumbled a whatever, and it was the end of this conversation. Jason seemed to untense gradually in his corner, getting to the idea of you there as well.

You could see the scars and bruises on his upper body. The gash in his shoulder from your sword had healed nicely, leaving a lightly scabbed red mark. There were a few silver marks around as well, and faded bruises on his chest from various impacts. He was tough, he would have had the potential to get in the league if it hadn’t been for his tendency to disobey any and every order given to him. But he had a huge potential nevertheless, and the more you worked with him, the more you could see what Talia saw in him.

“I hate the cold” You admitted after taking a deep breath. His eyes snapped up to you in confusion, while yours trailed away on the rocks around you. “I hate the way it seeps through everything. It makes my bones ache”

“A weakness, I’ll be damned” He whistled lowly. “Then why are you doing this, if you hate it so much?”

You met his eyes. “Once you let your limits dictate the path you take, you’ve taken the first step to losing any sense of control on yourself”

“Is this another lesson on self control?” He tested.

“No” You shook your head. “I just wanted to let you know I’m not doing this to torture you, but because I know you’ll gain valuable skills from training in extreme conditions, as I did before you”

-----

Nobody was around when you came back from the warehouse. All the lights were turned off, and all that could be heard was the creaking of the wood foundations of the manor. You followed Jason down the hallway and into an almost empty room, beside from the furniture. He invited you to walk in first, and gently closed the door behind him. He turned on the light and waited by the door.

“So, where’s the camera?” You asked, looking around for it. Your eyes set on Jason, who had an eyebrow raised. “Keep your enemies closer, right?”

“There’s no camera in bedrooms” He replied with a small smile. “That’s rule number one. But if you gotta know, there’s one right outside your door that will monitor your every in and out. You can’t escape this one, but you’re welcome to try anyway”

You snorted.

“He’ll be watching you closely for the next days” He hummed. “He’ll be weird about it and not subtle at all. I guess you’re aware of his relation to the league”

“Hard not to” You said, throwing your bag on the floor. “Are you sure it’s a good idea for me to stay here? I’m not sure your brothers are very happy about it either”

“And you care since when?” He mused.

“I don’t” You took a step toward him, looking at him pointedly. “Just don’t blame me for defending myself if they jump me”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be on the sidelines filming it”

You rolled your eyes, but the hint of a playful smile stretched on your lips. However, it disappeared when you remembered the purpose of you being there in the first place. Jason noticed the shadow passing on your face, and leaned on the door behind him. He waited for you to speak, even when you made your way to the window, your back to him.

“Confrontation will be unavoidable” You sighed, looking outside into the night. “What if I give in?”

“You won’t”

He said it with such certainty it made you turn your head to glance at him. How could he be so sure?

“I’ve never met anyone with as much self control as you” He explained like he had read the question on your face. “It’s fucking annoying. But you won’t be the one who flinch first, trust me. You’re too stubborn for that”

“Thanks, I guess” You mumbled, facing the window again. “But I don’t know how I will react when it goes down. My mother warned me…”

“When you were eight” He pointed out. “You’ve trained your body and your mind for this moment for years. I wouldn’t be so quick to discredit your ability to handle this with a certain detachment”

“Detachment?”

“Mmmm” He hummed, sporting that expression of his he knew had always gotten on your nerves as he stalked toward you. “You’re pretty stone cold”

“I will beat your ass” You stood your ground, but he only grinned. Maybe because it came out much weaker than you had intended to.

“See? You’re proving my point right now” He stopped right on front of you. “Stone. Cold”

You held his stare, his vibrant blue eyes as expressive as always. He was poking at you, poking at your reaction to him. You were always so composed around anyone else, but he had sneaked inside your walls a long time ago. You didn’t have to keep your guards up around him, but that would be a problem now. You couldn’t let it come in between you and your goal again, not after last time. You’d have to be careful not to let your emotions and feeling for him in again.

You took a step back, and he hid the hurt well on his face. After all, you did come back to him, and he probably thought it meant you had changed your mind. But while you welcomed his presence at your side on the field, you wouldn’t let it go further. And he’d have to understand that.

You’d have to get it on your head as well, it seemed.

“Thank you, Jason. For helping me” You muttered.

“You’ve done the same for me” He replied with fondness, despite his disappointment. “Goodnight”

You nodded, watching him walk back to the door. Halfway through the threshold, however, you called to him.

“Wait”

He paused in the door frame, looking back at you.

“Will you stay in the mansion too?”

His eyebrows raised in surprise for a second as your words registered, but a small smile appeared on his lips as he realized what you were asking. You didn’t trust his family, and with him there, you’d have an excuse not to interact directly with them. He wasn’t supposed to stay, but your unspoken request made him think about it again. He wouldn’t oppose to spending more time with you, and frankly, he missed your daily training.

“Three doors down to your right” He said, before gently closing the door behind you.

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shittykinaesthetics · 4 years

Text

once again, here’s an askdump.

if you’ve sent a nice anon that i haven’t answered, or a weird anon that i ignored, ya might be in here. i’ve got another one a these on th way bu this one was gettin long anyway so i cut it there. watch this space, etc, etc

so people’ve asked about this before, which is always a very sweet offer - bu as it is, m doin okay runnin things on my own. i know two aesthetics posted a day may not seem like much, bu it’s about what m comfortable puttin out without feelin like m spammin th dash. th long an short a it is that i feel so stupidly protective over my stupid lil meme blog, an th idea a addin mods don’t fit in wi how particular i am about how stuff is done at th moment. it ain’t that i don’t think other people would do a good job; s jus that m a fiercely independent bastard (jus ask my family). anyway! one day i might change my mind, an you’ll all be made aware if that happens, bu fer now it’s a one man show!

here is th part where i a) ignore th whole “first mate” comment cuz m a benevolent person an it’s an interestin question, bu b) make a tiny lil confession. i have never listened t death t th mechanisms. i simply do not see it. i am lookin away. luckily as far as m aware there’re no new songs on that album, so i can safely say that it’s once upon a time (in space). very close second fer ulysses dies at dawn, an i know it’s prolly surprisin that high noon over camelot don’t even rank given my whole cowboy vibe, bu pump shanty an ole king cole jus go so hard, an i am jus so very sexy in th second half a sleepin beauty. that bein said, if gunpowder tim vs the moon kaiser were its own album, it’d be that one. thanks fer comin t my ted talk.

see, this question is so annoyin (in a good way) cuz i literally have three immortal, unkillable kintypes - jonny d’ville, jack harkness, an andromache. so like. everyone else is immediately knocked outta th runnin no matter how deadly they are by sheer virtue a th fact that once they die, they ain’t comin back, unlike th other three. once it comes t those three, it’s really dealer’s choice, since all three a em do canonically jus... stop bein immortal eventually. i guess it jus depends on who gets stabbed th least? although jack’s whole thing was jus eventually dyin a old age, i think, so maybe he has an edge. guess it jus depends on if he dies a old age before th other two get stabbed enough times. much t think about.

y’all send such nice asks sometimes an it breaks me down completely cuz m actually a soft-ass bastard at heart. it’s usually my way t respond t heartfelt soft intimacy wi sly derision an underhand deflection cuz conman runs in my blood, bu that’s never th case wi y’all, an i don’t know if it’s jus that th compliments are always so disarmingly genuine that it catches me off guard, or if i jus don’t feel good about bein “mean” when it’s written down an no one can hear my unmistakable ‘asshole wi a heart a gold’ manner a speakin, bu either way. presses a hand t my grizzled ol woman heart. thank you. m glad i can have a part in makin y’all happy, or laugh, or whatever my blog brings t yer lives.

also yeah people will forever ignore my closed requests. it’s simply my cross t bear. like a solid 1/4 a you kin jared 19 when it comes t th description on my blog an it’s fine

literally do not know how t respond t this one. it’s very sweet bu m mostly monogamous an very taken. also m physically 21 an mentally older’n that so this could very easily end up bein creepy. i know it was written wi th best intentions bu y’know, m an adult, so unless yer off anon i can’t accept even fun flirtin, as a precaution. (this obviously doesn’t apply if we’re friends an yer off anon an i know who you are. there’s an ask m respondin t in th next batch a these from a friend where we are talkin about kissin. everythin is nuanced)

also th fact that you could develop a crush from this dumpster fire a a blog... disquietin. concerned fer you. think you should love yerself an get some taste, maybe. i say this outta a place a worry fer yer wellbein, anon.

god shut up that’s literally such a funny fuckin idea @cabinet-enby... starts an event where people can tell me about their canons bu they hafta send me a kofi fer every single ask. up t this point i’ve jus been givin it away fer free like some sorta idiot. me! king a merchandisin stuff that should never be merchandised! an it didn’t occur t me until you brought it up??? m losin my edge. slippin on my place in th game. thanks fer th kick in th pants - should trademarked this idea when you had th chance, sucker

#anons #long post #cabinet-enby #faq #so true stanley

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acefrogmonarch · 5 years

Text

HC pt. 2

Some of these might have been on the other HC but if it is, don't worry there's is a lot of new ones.

Take this as canon to my story. Season 3 in MLB. It didn't happen but I'll acknowledge some things and change a lot. Like a lot.

Them as vines!

The only time Tim has used bruces money was to buy a hoverboard to go around the house saying whatever they had for lunch or dinner. In the simplest form of that meal.

"We are having Chestnut bisque for dinner." Tim is the first one to know and he gets to his hoverboard and gets a ladle. "We got Soup!" His hand has a motion of scoping up some soup as he rides.

Damian recording as Todd drives, singing, and blasting white girl music.

Dick was going to surprise Damian by taking him out of school for the day, his phone was already in his hand because he didn’t tell him before. He spotted Damian, just in time to see him throw Jon against the lockers.

Tim has a set of keywords that activate the law and order sound. Any speaker around him is put up in the highest setting and blast it through the air.

Ace doesn’t let Tim touch anything Damian has. For one week Tim hasn’t touched the bat computer. He’ll never forgive Ace.

Ace accidentally biting bruce’s dick. It was the first dinner with Marinette and they all wanted to make a good impression. They were all eating dinner and Bruce, mid-bite just makes a noise.

Marinette looks over and he’s looking at Damian, who was also mid-bite. "Dog.” It’s all he says, its chaos after that.

The boys scramble to look under the table. After they do, they can’t stop laughing and Marinette doesn’t move from her spot.

Okay, I want to clear this up for my self, Marinette found out that Damian was robin on accident.

Marinette and Damian didn't interact at all but he has been seen outside of school waiting for somebody. Lila had this 'grand idea' to set them up together. Alya, the 'master' setup. Dragged a delirious Marinette to Chloe's hotel.

"Come on Mari, it's a sleepover!" Marinette couldn't handle this. Just before she had texted Adrien that she was going to Chloe's place for a "sleepover". But Mari didn't believe it. It was 2300 and her 'bedtime' they knew not to bother her. She already took her medicine and it was kicking in.

Alya opened the door and shoved Marinette in, stumbling back, she fell on her butt. Looking around she saw the bathroom light on, but immediately noticed how small it was to Chloe's usual room.

Stumbling to look at her she couldn't help but drag to the bathroom. Opening the sewing kit in there and sticking a needle in her inner thigh. She woke up and carried it around.

"What did you do this time Lila." Groaning as she got up, she limped out to the foyer in time to hear someone open the window.

Turning around She found Robin, mask in hand to be Damian. Damian, on the other hand, didn't understand how this could happen. He was supposed to be alone in his hotel room. Why was Marinette here? It doesn't matter gotta 'fix' this.

At first, Damian attacked her to keep her silent but once she attacked back, they were at a stalemate.

They kept up with each other for hours.

Marinette slipped into the night, leaving him as people knocked on his door. For months, they didn't speak, nor did they meet up as their alter-egos.

Mari actively went out of her way to ignore him. She was furious at him and Damian couldn't care less about her feelings, only mad that he couldn't threaten her to keep his identity secret.

It wasn't until Nightwing talked to Mari. It wasn't until Chat Noir went to fetch him for a bad fight with an Akuma. It wasn't until Ladybug had revealed to be Marinette.

"you know, with someone having a superpower of 'Luck'. You sure make a mess of yourself."

"Whatever. You know my secret and I know yours. Do what you will with it."

They get closer once everything was resolved. Damian got better at handling people, Mari went tougher on people. Slowly falling in love, over the years.

But that's a story for another time.

Before reveal maybe year 2 to 3 italics are in English or another language if it isn’t in English, I’ll clarify

How Chat Noir and Selena first met. “Did you steal my look?” Chat grabs his tail looking her over and he dramatically throws his tail in disgust. “No kitty cat, you stole mine.”

Selena doesn’t realize that she’s been on Marinette’s roof for months. But she does notice how the same ravenette helps kids and kittens in need and sneak some snacks if they look often enough. She’s okay in her book.

The first time Marinette and Selena meet, she was on her balcony caring for her plants. Spray bottle of water on her hand, she hears a heavy ‘thump’ on her roof. Calling out Marinette points her bottle as a gun, just in case. “Chat?”

Selena pokes her head through and sees this small little girl look at her. “This was supposed to be an easy job” Confused, Marinette tilts her head slightly. “What was easy?” Marinette barely began studying English, now she’s thankful that she’s taken the subject seriously.

Marinette was about to be mugged the second time they interact. Chat Noir had been on patrol while Catwoman was on her way to another job. “Hey, there little lady.”

That stopped Catwoman in her tracks. Looking over in the opening of the alley, low and behold, there’s Marinette. Clutching her purse for dear life. Perched on the building behind the mugger is Chat Noir.

They both jump at the same time, noticing each other as they nod in understanding. Before they reach the ground, Marinette already has the mugger on the floor, groaning in pain.

Yearly road trip!

At first, it was the fair or occasional Carnival just outside of town but once the boys grew in numbers and added their interest, they started to fight who’s turn it was yearly.

When Damian joined, it was Tim’s turn and like the year before they got ready to go to another cluster of conventions in L.A. for weeks

Jason would suggest Disney world but always go to Universal Studio for Harry Potter.

Dick goes to stupid places that are weird, like the “Worlds Biggest Yarnball!” Other than that he takes pictures of food in his mouth and post it on Instagram. One moment he’s in New York City with a rainbow Bagel. The next he’s in Canada eating Timbits.

Yes, that’s an actual food item in Canada. They look like doughnut holes but better.

Go soccer baseball! (It's kickball to you, Americans.)

Anyway back to HC.

Babs doesn’t go half the time, but she always down when it’s her turn and she goes all out. Babs mostly goes for the tech conventions but once Dick, Tim, and Steph saw drone racing in Dubai.

They always went to Dubai after that. Damian thinks the drones are mini helicopters and get fascinated by them. He’ll never admit it.

They bribe Lucas to make a custom Duck boat if Lucas gets to go one time. “Y’all are white rich kids, but take me some time.”

Babs decked it out with Video games on the bilge (lower layer of the boat) while where the girls stay on top of the fantail.

They take the road trip very seriously. And literally. They drive. Everywhere.

In the open water, Babs keeps a bucket of chum to throw in the water to attract sharks. The first time it happens dick and Jason ‘freak out’ and reenact Jaws. Tim gets annoyed very quickly, he just wants to play video games. Bruce always stayed in at the wheel.

He can't choose between the boys and girls so he stays there. Once Marinette joined she switches constantly but once she's tired, she stays with bruce to nap.

Steph would go to places outside of the US for Instagram worthy food. Like Dragons Beard in China and Jiggly Cheesecake in Japan.

Cass likes to visit quiet places. Like the renovated Opera house turned Library. No one argues as much on her trip, and they enjoy the peace and scenery. Templo Expiatorio del Santisimo Sacramento, Mexico has been on her list but she always spots something else.

Marinette wants to go to Milan, Italy for Fashion week but she doesn’t plan the trip, the rest of the batfam does. They get her to spill where she would go if she ever got the chance.

They also don't tell her until they show up at the Bakery doorsteps. Honking in a custom Duck Boat, there's Dick Grayson, hanging out of the side yelling “Get in loser we’re going shopping.”

"THE BoWlS MARI. THE BOWLS!!"

"I won't even attempt to try this much effort with anyone else, just marry me instead, Mari. Don't let me indulge to stand another second of insufferable humans." This is how Damian proposes.

Damian having a mild innocence.

Like not knowing what tampons or pads are used for, and asking Bruce about it. Bruce panics for a solid minute before answering. "I'll tell you later." He doesn't.

Jason and dick don't think it's true so they tease him. Dick tried to be subtle by saying Steph was on 'her time of the month.' Jason bulldozed through saying she was stocking up on tampons.

"What are tampons used for." They tell him it's to cover women's vagina. He'll never admit to them that he thought they were to cover battle wounds.

Damian is very weirded when he finds out that Dick or his father having sex with a stranger.

"You're not supposed to do that." Is his immediate thought.

"Dick, stop having sex with her if you don't plan on marrying her!"

Damian promptly leaves the room. "Where are you going little D?”

Stomping away, "To plan a wedding." He slams the door.

The first time Marinette tries to cuddle Damian, he freaks out.

"Woah, Angel, wait till marriage." Marinette just looks at him confused.

"What do you mean???? This is perfectly fine before marriage."

"Not in my culture!"

Jason and Dick weren't afraid of Marinette before. But ever since 'the Kitchen™" incident' they haven't walked in when she visits.

The Kitchen™ incident as followed.

Sleep-deprived Mari! & Tim! Mari still had ingredients out, she was making coffee cake for them since Tim asked for some "fre sh a voca do" for their desert.

M: Could you put the Ingredients away?

T: What dog? When did we get the dogs in here?

M: What?

T: Did you not say dog?

M: I thought you said you wanted to eat a dick.

T: What?! Mari I don't eat ass.

They were surrounding the island, both were crouched

M: You're not getting my milk.

Tim was moving his arms around and flipped over the island and grabbed the milk, he ran out with Mari following him.

M: No my MALK!!

Damian walked in much later to see where Mari was.

T: Do you know the muffin man?

D: The Muffin Man?

T: The Muffin man

Mari left to find Dami and heard that as she was coming in.

M: Shes married the muffin man.

Damian promptly forgot why he wanted to find her in the first place and leaves. Just silently going "wtf"

They would laugh so much they laid down on the floor, once the timer beeped, Marinette stumbled her way to the oven, accidentally stepping on Tim as well.

Why do they do that?! Both dick and Jason didn't wanna witness any more of this weirdness.

Every time, anybody in the bat fam is hurt, there is a speaker nearby with the CoD 1 zombie 'Game over' soundtrack. Ready to play. It's why common crooks stop hurting them because they can't escape the sound.

Tim did it on accident because he was sleep-deprived but he just kept the algorithm.

His usual response when attacks don't hurt him is. "Mothertrucker dude, that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick"

Jason and Tim mess with Penguin, once penguin caught on that they were only attacking at dusk. He started calling them Dusk Boys™.

"God damn dusk boys. Get off my lawn!"

Mariette witnesses it and coined the term, "Dusking it up." whenever someone was a little shit.

Damian got a kazoo one day, someone 'gave' it to him as they ran away. "It's a social experiment!" More like throwing it in his face. Once he got home he played it. Marinette was visiting for a while.

He showed her first and Tim was with her in the living room, eating cake. After he played it, they both went batshit crazy. Once they aren't sleep deprived, Damian 'serenades' Mari with the kazoo. It's during the next patrol and its right after they beat up another criminal.

She was very surprised and so was everybody else. 1 they are usually so profession about this and not announcing their presence or joking around. It's why she got so much done with him.

2 She kind of enjoyed it???

Marinette finds herself in Dick.

Since everyone went to the pair to vent or find advice. Marinette sees them struggling and slows down with them. Taking things from scratch, be it subjects they struggle with or talking about people.

Dick can relate because not everyone is willing to talk to others besides Dick. They share tips on how to help. Mari gets ideas on how to talk to others about self-love and dick gets advice that he is doing all he can and more.

Jason and Mari patrol together and spar together too often. Like when they both don’t want to hold back. Afterward, they get ice cream.

Mari never takes credit because she doesn't want to seem like a brat. But she also doesn't want to turn people down because she loves to help.

So she does her work, invites them in and hangs out with them and doesn't shut them out. She sets a group chat for people struggling in math and science. She also has a weekly get together for emotional support, "It doesn't matter what it is, just say it!" She invites Chloe one time and they have deep conversations about family issues and attitude issues.

Monthly shows.

Mari, Adrien, and Dick sing (ABBA) and dress up, they just call it a show. But once Mari does parkour and acrobatic moves they go on the tightrope.

She doesn't push dick and always uses the net, once dick explains why he didn't want to go in the first place. They take it slow. Explaining moves on the ground and different verbal signals to call out for a new movie or stop.

"I played you like the cheap Kazoo you are." Damian when he gets played by Mari in a game. It was Risk.

They are all instruments. Every single one of them. But their price is on a very wide range. It all depends on their mood.

Some are cooking supplies. "What a tool." No one in the mlb crew likes it.

#funnystuff #maribat #marinette dupain cheng #mari #damian x marinette #marinette x damian #shennanigans

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stonerbughead · 4 years

Text

Maria watches friday night lights (#22)

ok I watched this a few days ago and haven’t had time to watch the finale yet but MAN 4x12 is an amazing penultimate episode. Here we goooo:

Omfg the panthers are literally being such snobby fucks about the East Dillon field. these fuckers are so classist and racist~~~ it’s too real

Feels like Julie is being very impulsive about trying to leave for habitat for humanity shit “It’s only $3,000.” “Only? Honey you’re hilarious.”

Ah yep and mindy’s in labor!! “Who the hell are you talking to?” “It’s tim, do you want to talk to him?” “NO!” 😂😭 I’m dead

I see what they did there, transitioning from Tim’s excitement about new life on the white side of town to Vince and the community mourning Calvin at his funeral on the Black side of town.

“Jess, if I go to the cops I go to jail.” UH YEAH he’s on parole, Jess, he literally can’t “do the right thing” bc he’ll get punished for it bc PRISON INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX!!!

ooooh Jess is *worried* about Vince; me too gurl. the concern is hot ngl

LOL Landry is so white.....he didn’t buy Jess a lock for her bike??

Testy Eric getting the field ready is SO funny omfg

HAHAHA they threw billy out bc he’s “too enthusiastic, whatever that’s supposed to mean.” omg he’s had five energy drinks Jesus this is hilarious

Ok Landry going out of your way to tell Vince he’s sorry about Calvin, that’s growth!

“Whose idea was this anyway?” The whole team down on their knees on a football field at night with the toothpicks: “Landry’s.”

Wow living in Texas sux, Tami has to compromise her values and apologize for giving a scared, pregnant teenage girl all her options if she wants to keep her job as a public school principal?!?! Damn this show is too real lol

“It’s trying to claw his way out.” “Claw?”

“Her way out or whoever is in there...its way out.” Okay, gender neutral, I see you billy riggins! (I got less proud when he just ran into the birthing room wearing the PPE hat and yelling, “I’m the dad!!!”)

Really, they vandalized Eric’s car?! Too much.

“I don’t feel safe taking my family over there.” OK RACIST

Yessss they tooth picked the field so they had to spend their time doing stupid shit on the field too?! That’s pretty clever honestly, evening the score.

“I understand it took West Dillon two hours to take those toothpicks out of the field.” LOL

Gotta love that a lawyer says Tami has a great case for wrongful termination but that the court system will drag it out so much it won’t be good for her career long term lolll sounds about right. Great society we have here.

Aww “Uncle Tim”!!! So cute!

Uh oh it’s another Riggins boy in this mess lol! Awww Steven. My heart! This show does such a good job of letting you linger in the heartwarming moments for a minute.

Anddd of course the anti choicers are protesting her. Oh Tami, my queen, you don’t deserve this.

“I don’t cook flesh, dad.” Lol I love how Eric gives a half hearted “oh alright” to Julie making dinner bc she didn’t cook meat 🤣

“Lions suck.” “Haha you know what? Go to hell.” I shrieked with laughter. Let Eric and Tami eat dinner with their daughters jfc!!!

Jess holding an iPod and saying she made Landry a playlist. Oh, early 2000s love

Vince is being nice to Landry about being with Jess, wow now that’s growth too! This love triangle could be a lot worse.

Jesus fuck are they ruining the East Dillon field now?! Should’ve known they wouldn’t take those toothpicks lying down.

Tim is so cute with his nephew!!

Jesus fuck the tension on this Wade/Tami/Eric conference call after the East Dillon field destruction. This season is so well crafted to bring everything in the town to a boiling point just in time for the rivalry game!!!

There’s like a fucking creek on Tim’s property too? This is some romantic, scenic shit!

Life is about owning land and family? Hmmm. Okay Tim.

Omfg Becky I can’t. “Tim I love you” how many times have we gone over that y’all do not work romantically I’m 🤦🏻‍♀️

“Vince, you think I’m stupid? You think I don’t know what you up to right now?” Ahhhh not Jess showing up at Vince’s door when he’s going to avenge Calvin! I love that she figured it out just from what he said to Landry alone...the tension, the chemistry, the emotion!

Jess slides down the door!! Classic move of distress~

Ah Tim was W A Y too happy, it figures that their car scheme would be discovered now. And of course Tim is gonna take the fall so Billy can be with his family oh Tim 🥺

Damn!!! Vince got out of the car as the light turned from red to green trying to flee ?!!! 😭 “My mom’s not supposed to bury me, I’m supposed to bury my mama!” Ugh such a good line. Poor Vince.

Stfu, Joe— “we called every player on our team they’re all accounted for.” of course they are, Joe McCoy, mmhmm

Ah yes, grown men arguing about toothpicks while a crowd watches outside.

“The thing we gotta remember here is that in the end this is just a football game.” And Eric’s like, “nah actually, I’m getting harassed, thanks!”

Ah Jess was waiting for Vince when he came home 🥺 (Ooooop did Jess end up standing Landry up accidentally. Well fook.)

Oh, Tim. fuckkkkk this capitalist shit show— like, Tim is taking the fall so they could make sure Mindy could deliver a healthy baby without absurd medical debt and tbh I assume they still have debt !!!! We love a functioning society right?

Ahhh Eric throwing the phone that won’t stop ringing is the inevitable catharsis mmhmm

Damn the amount of stress that Tami and Eric combined are under is...oooof! They deserve better!

Omg wait and the actual game happens next episode?!!! I love this show, it’s so well written gahhhh

(See you next time)

#maria watches friday night lights #mine #friday night lights 4x12

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pixelatedrose · 4 years

Text

A Rose For A Valentine

Part 1/Part 2/Part 3/???

Word Count: 1504

Cast:

Lochesis Lodgick (logic). Lo, Lochy, Sisi for nicknames

Pandora Morralitie (morality) Panda, Pan, Dora, Pancake for nicknames

Rose Kreativve (creativity) Ro, Princess for nicknames

Valentine Anxxiatie (anxiety) Val, Valen for nicknames

Dahlia Desceat (deceit) Dahl, Di, Dahli for nicknames

Ruby Kreativve (Remus/intrusive thoughts) Ru, Ruru for nicknames

Riley Sleapp (Sleep) Riy, Lili for nicknames

Emily Picani (Emile) Em, Emmy for nicknames

Trigger warnings: Verbally fighting, Breakdowns, mentions of sex, uncensored swearing, fake friends

Chapter 3

Rose walked out of the classroom, knowing Pandora would be calling her later to ask why she'd lied.

Rose didn't ride the bus home.

She never had.

She just didn't want that stupid emo nightmare trying to talk to her, no matter what the reason.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid…!" Rose muttered to herself as she stormed out of the building. So much for a good first day of school…

What had happened at lunch was a nightmare that wouldn't be easily forgiven, regardless of the fact that Valentine wouldn't have had any way of knowing.

~~•~~

"It's none of your business who Pandora is friends with!" Valentine shouted. "And who's to say that maybe she'd rather be friends with someone who's deeper than a puddle on the sidewalk!"

Rose's mind jumped into action. This emo was starting to cross over the line of things Rose was willing to put up with.

"Are you calling me shallow?!" Rose yelled, holding a hand up to her chest dramatically on instinct, having her friend's joke and tease with her about the subject in the past. This was different.

"If by shallow you mean that I wouldn't get my feet wet if I stepped in you with no shoes on then yes."

Rose was furious now. "Bitch!! Who the hell are you to tell me who I am?!"

"I don't have to; it's written all over your everything!"

"At least I try and be friendly instead of hiding in the back of the classroom and sulking like someone just killed my dog!!"

"Well at least I know my friends want to be my friends!!!"

Rose stopped and fell back on her fears.

They're just sticking around out of pity.

They're not real friends.

They'll all leave eventually.

They don't really want to be around you.

Rose didn't hear the emo try and keep the fight going, she just turned and walked off, unable to get a grip on her emotions. She clenched her fists and held her breath, fighting down her bitter thoughts.

Lochesis finally caught Rose's shoulder, snapping the redhead back to reality.

"Rose, hold on-" Lochesis started but was cut off when she saw Rose fighting back her tears.

"What if she's right though…!" Rose finally choked out, her voice just barely a squeak.

Lochesis didn't hesitate in embracing the golden eyed girl, letting her friend take a few shaky and choked sobs into her shirt. The tall girl lead Rose over to the stairwell a few steps away and say her friend down on the bottom steps, soothing her long-time childhood friend with coos and quiet shushs.

Pandora jogged up to the pair and struck Rose with a soft and tight hug, comforting the girl back into reality.

"I'm okay now…" Rose said, swallowing down her tears.

As her distress fell away, anger quickly rose to replace it.

Rose clenched her fists again. "That stupid bitch is gonna get what's coming to her, just you wait. I'll-"

Pandora quickly jumped up. "NO!!" She shouted. Seeing Rose and Lochesis startle, she calmed her voice. "No. Listen I know Val hurt your feelings, but she didn't know that, A, you have self esteem issues, and, B, that it would hurt you that much." Pandora's big blue eyes pleaded from behind her glasses. "Please give her at least a chance? She's been my best friend since I was like two years old and she's got no other friends. And if you two ended up fighting, well…" Pandora paused, thinking about the situation and shook her head as if clearing it of unkind thoughts. "It'd be sad!!" She stated plainly.

Rose slouched her shoulders. "Did you even hear what she said?" Her eyes glared down at the tiled floor. "And I don't think she'd be one to actually even want to make up with me." Rose gestured down the hallway back to the cafeteria. "I mean look at her!! She looks like Tim Burton hand crafted her and through some satanic experiment brought her to life!!"

Lochesis looked at Rose curiously. "Didn't you mention this morning how much you love Nightmare Before Christmas?"

Rose waved a hand at her friend. "Shut up, just...shuuu."

Pandora pouted. "You're not even gonna try?" She asked dejectedly.

Rose looked down and picked at the holes in her jeans. She finally stood up, throwing her hands over her head. "Fine!" She huffed. Pandora started clapping her hands before Rose pointed at her. "But I'm still not talking to her today! It'll have to wait till tomorrow or something."

Pandora still bounced a little. "Yay~!! I'm glad you're not giving up on my strange dark daughter!!"

"What even-" Lochesis started to question before Rose's huffing interrupted her.

"God what a shitty day this is turning out to be…" Rose groaned.

Pandora gasped and stood on her tiptoes to cover her girlfriend's ears. "GASP!! Watch your language, Rose! We don't want the human computer learning it, you don't know WHO she'll start repeating it to!"

Lochesis pulled the honey haired girl's hands off the side of her head, settling for them draping over her shoulders. "I'm not a child, Pandora, I know swear words," she leaned her head back to smile at the short girl. "But thank you for worrying, darling." She winked and Pandora nearly fell over herself.

Rose rolled her eyes, smiling widely. "You two are sickeningly adorable." They laughed together as the bell rung and they parted ways.

As soon as her friend's were out of sight, the bright smile faded from Rose's face entirely.

"Well at least I know my friends want to be my friends!!!"

Was Valentine right?

Rose couldn't help but feel that maybe she was.

~~•~~

Rose waited outside the school thinking about the day. Rose had only grown more upset when she'd found out that the emo was in her chemistry class as well.

Rose shook herself and stood straighter. C'mon, I bet she's not that bad. She's just a little prickly, that’s all. We can make up tomorrow and then everything will be fine! She told herself.

"Ro-ro!!" A girl that looked strikingly similar to Rose ran up to her. "Guess What?!"

Rose have an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes. "Please don't tell me you damaged my reputation again, Ruby…"

Ruby giggled and shook her head. "Oh no, I do that on the daily, I don't have to try to do that!" Rose made an offended noise before Ruby had to dodge a playful battering from her sister. "I got a GIRLFRIEND!!" She shouted gleefully.

Rose stood shocked in the middle of the walkway as she watched her sister. "You What?!" She nearly shrieked.

Ruby nodded up and down. "Yep!! You heard me right! Duchess Trash-Bitch landed herself a date with only the most suave girl in school!!"

Rose snorted. "Pah-lease, Ruby, I don't think that's possible seeing as we're sisters, so go check your facts."

Ruby pushed Rose so hard she fell into a bush. "You think you're so high and mighty but whatever. Besides, Dahlia is way cuter than you'd ever hope to be, loser."

Rose stopped. "Dahlia? As in stage director Dahlia?" Rose thought to their student director for last year's winter play. She had known that Ruby and her had become good friends after that year, but she didn't know they'd become that close.

Ruby nodded happily. "Yep!! That's my girl!!" Ruby sighed happily. "Heheh...Imma fuck her so-"

"GROSS, RUBY!!!" Rose shouted, shoving her sister. "I don't wanna hear about your gross fantasies!! Keep them to yourself, will ya?!"

Ruby cackled maniacally. "I was kidding!! Mostly…" She added the last part a bit quieter.

"In any case I still don't want to hear about your gross sex fantasies! Keep those and whatever other disgusting thoughts you have to your self!" Rose said.

Rose and Ruby were twin sisters, the only thing telling them apart being a small mole under Ruby's left eye and Ruby's slight height difference, Rose being just a tad shorter. They were best friends- partners in crime! Ruby was always the one to mature up and console Rose after failed auditions and fights, and Rose would always sit there listening to Ruby’s bad days and grievances. They were as close as two sisters could be. A team.

As Ruby went on and on about how wonderful Dahlia was, Rose was finding it harder and harder to keep up her smile.

First Lochy and Panda, now Ruby and Dahlia… Rose thought. Everyone seems to have someone in their lives but me...I wonder who else will beat me to the stage of romance…

The two girls finally got home where Ruby very excitedly and loudly announced her new girlfriend to their parents, who delightfully listened to her rant about her day till dinner was done.

Rose picked at her food and got up before it was finished. "I'm gonna go take a shower."

"Don't drown!!" Ruby called after her sister.

Rose turned on the water and stepped inside before curling up and hugging her knees to her chest.

She thought of the entire day and what Valentine had said.

And Rose began to cry, letting the sound of the water mask her sobs as she let the day wash over her and down the drain.

Hey y’all, sorry this is so late! It’s a short chapter I know, but I hope you liked it! I don’t really have much of an excuse for having this out so late, I just kinda had life catch up to me and lost a ton of motivation. despite that, I had fun writing this in the last hour-ish or so! Hope you liked it!!

Okay so I just edited this and wow there were a lot of things I messed up. In my defense, I wrote and posted this at like midnight. In any case I fixed it, so I hope you find this version a bit better!

And one last thing before I go; I drew all of the main cast for A Rose For A Valentine (Valentine, Rose, Pandora, Lochesis) Would all of you like to see them all?

Okay that’s it, love you all byyee~!!

#thomas sanders #logicality #prinxiety #sanders sides fic #gender bend AU #highschool au #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #sanders sides

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unityghost · 5 years

Text

Manipulation

Part 15 of Post-Asmodeus Sabriel Feels. I can't help myself.

A response to this prompt from @commonercommenter:

Sam finds that maybe Gabriel was right. This is going on for too long and ever since Sam got caught in his break down it’s taking a toll on him… he just can’t do it anymore [discussion ensues].

Thanks for the suggestion! I have more prompt responses coming up soon. There's, like, a list I have to get through. Always open to requests, though.

The fear was too much.

Gabriel had been alone when that sick, heavy feeling washed over him. His stomach knotted and his hands shook. His heart pounded and his throat closed up.

There, in his bedroom, the world grew tight. Nothing was safe.

Usually Gabriel had some sense of what caused it, but now and again there was no immediate answer. Sometimes it emerged simply from solitude or exhaustion. Sometimes he was bothered by a sight, sound, or smell and couldn’t figure out why it upset him. But no matter where the feeling began, it was recognizable as the same sense of raw vulnerability he’d known throughout his imprisonment.

It was evening when the feeling overcame him again. Just as Gabriel was getting up from the bed to inform the others he wouldn’t be joining them for dinner, someone knocked at his door.

“Gabriel.” Castiel stepped inside, looking concerned. “Everyone sat down to eat half an hour ago.”

“I’m taking a rain check,” said Gabriel.

“I can’t say that surprises me, but I still think you should come out and have something.”

“As a matter of fact, I was just on my way to let y’all know that I’m not late, I’m absent. If you need a doctor’s note I’ll hand Sam an index card and a Sharpie.”

Castiel glanced into the hallway, then shuffled further in and shut the door. “What’s the matter?”

Gabriel sighed and lowered himself back onto the bed. “Me. I’m the matter. That’s not news.”

Castiel came to sit beside him. “Whatever’s upsetting you, it will pass.”

After a moment of silence, Cas gently wrapped his fingers around Gabriel’s wrist. Gabriel jerked back.

“It’s okay,” Castiel soothed. “It’s okay, Gabriel. I only wanted to feel your pulse.”

“Could you not have specified that before groping me?!”

“I’m sorry.” This time Castiel was slow and careful, touching before gripping. “Your heartbeat. It’s rapid.”

“That’s what happens when your grace bottoms out. Vessel starts acting like there’s no angel inside of it.”

“I know. Can I help?”

Gabriel looked away. “Probably not.”

“May I try?”

Gabriel raised his eyes again. “That depends on your method.”

“Why don’t you explain what’s on your mind, and I’ll see what I can do?”

Gabriel fidgeted. “I don’t know what’s going on with me. Sam can tell you about how I get this stupid sense of being in a nightmare. Scared. Sick. Like I’m in Hell again. Anyway, it sucks but I’ll live.”

“You might feel better with some food, don’t you think?”

“No. I don’t think. You wanna know what I think? I think this is getting old.”

Cas gave him a light touch on the shoulder, and this time Gabriel didn’t flinch. “You’re doing a good job. Maybe you don’t believe that, but the rest of us have faith that you’ll eventually be all right.”

Gabriel remained silent.

“Would you like me to tell Sam to come and see you after dinner?” Castiel asked him.

“Oh - ” Gabriel relaxed a little. “That’d be great.”

“I’ll let him know.” Castiel got to his feet. “Is there anything else you’d find helpful?”

“No. When I get like this it’s … it’s hard to claw my way out of it.”

“Then at least let me remind you that no one is going to hurt you.” Cas hesitated before adding, “It’s difficult for me to understand the feeling you’ve described, because I don’t believe I’ve experienced it for myself. That being said, I’ve certainly faced my fair share of horrors, and … my assistance isn’t limited to midnight emergencies. I’m here to listen. We all are.”

Gabriel offered a thin smile. “That’s real nice of you, kid.”

“You’ve suffered a great deal. No one wants to see you endure any more pain. But don’t forget your obligation - to us and to yourself.”

“Right, to be less of a pain in the - ”

“To accept our help.”

Gabriel narrowed his eyes. “Did you learn that from Sam or did he get it from you?”

Castiel smiled at him. “You’ve known me too long to believe I could ever think of it on my own. Sam and Dean are compassionate people. I try to keep up.” He moved towards the door. Just as his hand rested on the knob, he turned back to Gabriel. “I’ll inform Sam that you’d like his company.” Then he left, gently closing the door behind him.

As soon as Gabriel was left on his own again, the terrible feeling grew stronger. His flesh crawled, and he could feel his heart thumping against the nausea in his throat.

Cram it, he told his mind, but to no avail.

Perhaps he should have asked his brother to stay.

Of all the residents of the bunker, Castiel was the most promising candidate for dealing with Gabriel’s worst moments. He didn’t need to sleep, and the two of them had been witness to what only siblings ever see: the growth and change of a family and of each other.

Nevertheless, Sam was the one person with whom Gabriel felt completely safe almost all the time. In theory, no one in the bunker should seem threatening - but sometimes they did. Whether it was purely because Sam had been the one to guide Gabriel through the first several hours after his rescue, or due to something that Gabriel couldn’t quite identify, Sam was always the exception.

At moments like this, when Gabriel found himself suffocated with fear, Sam was the only one who didn’t feel like an ominous character in a bad dream.

But half an hour later, when someone knocked once more, it wasn’t Sam.

“Hey Gabe,” said Dean, stepping inside. “Sam’s not feeling well. He needs to rest up.”

“What?” Gabriel jumped to his feet. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Nothing to get scared about. Just a bad headache is all. He figured me or Cas could come give you a hand. Guess you’re a little shaken up right now, huh?”

Gabriel’s chest tightened as he sat back down. “Little bit.”

“You need to talk?”

“No. I mean, I know that’s not exactly your pastime of choice.”

“I can deal. Not like I haven’t stuck around for this before. I’ll get Cas if that’s better, though.”

“No. No, it’s all good. And you don’t have to worry about staying, Dean-o. Good of you to come check on me, but - ”

“Stop right there and don’t give me that crap about letting it wear off on its own. If you can’t have Sam here you gotta let me or Cas keep watch for a while. Otherwise you’re going to space out on us. So what did you need?”

Sam, Gabriel wanted to say, but didn’t. “I don’t know. It’s hard to figure what’d make a difference. Just trying not to completely lose control of myself. I was alone and all of a sudden there came that stupid feeling again. The feeling like I’m still down there with - with him.”

“Okay, so … distraction?”

Gabriel shook his head. “Sam’s always trying to get me to think about something else, but it doesn’t do any good.”

Dean lowered himself to sit beside Gabriel. “Here, why don’t you get yourself ready for bed? Take a shower, try to calm down a little bit. Sam said it’s good if you have somebody stick around while you’re falling asleep, so I’ll stand sentry tonight, okay?”

“No,” Gabriel answered at once. “That’s ridiculous. You need sleep and I can spend one friggin’ night without a wet nurse.”

“I’m already here. Go clean up and I’ll wait for you.”

Reluctantly, Gabriel climbed off the bed. “Are you sure Sam’s okay? Because if there’s anything I can do for him - ”

“He’s fine. Like I said, headache.”

Yet something about the whole turn of events gave Gabriel an odd feeling. Of course he was worried about Sam, but it wasn’t just that. “Dean … what’s really going on with him?”

“Nothing. He’s fine.”

“Dean?”

A pause, and then Dean said, “You think he’s upset with you.”

“I mean, I’d be upset with me.”

Dean sighed. “He’s not, man. He’s … look, Sammy’s been pushing himself a little too hard lately. It’s got nothing to do with you and everything to do with … everything.”

Gabriel stiffened. “Lately I’ve been a pretty big part of his ‘everything.’”

“No, I know, and that’s okay. He wants to help.”

The unsaid sparked in the air like a broken wire.

“Tell me what happened,” Gabriel demanded.

“He just, uh ...” Dean hesitated.

But Gabriel said, “It’s okay, Dean. I’m not totally beyond reasoning through all this like a sane person would. Sam’s been giving me more attention and support than anyone deserves, especially not me. And as freaked out as I am when I think about him having to take a step back, it’s … I know it’s not because he doesn’t want to help. It’s because there are limits for everyone. No matter whether they’re because of an under-medicated divinity or a case that can’t be solved.”

Dean looked relieved. “Exactly. He’s tired. Just taking a break. Not your fault. So - do you want me to hang around?”

“Actually, there’s something I forgot to tell my brother. Let me just - ”

“Nah, I got it; wait here.” Dean stood up. “Hey, Gabe - you sure you’re all right, man? I heard what you told me, but you look a little upset.”

“I’m not upset. I have resting emo face.”

While Dean was gone, Gabriel let the dark feeling roll through him again, watched the world grow sinister, listened to the jumpy rhythm of his graceless heart.

Castiel came in a few minutes later and sat on the bed. “Dean told me you needed - ”

Gabriel collapsed against his brother and seized him in a desperate embrace.

Castiel placed one hand on the back of Gabriel’s head. “I’m here; it’s all right.”

Gabriel closed his eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

Gabriel only shook his head,

“Very well,” Cas muttered. “When you’re ready.”

They sat in silence until Gabriel spoke in a strangled whisper. “If I could stop any of this, I would. I’m just … I’m lost, Castiel. And I hate that all I can do right now is ask you guys to keep me from falling apart.”

“I know. But you shouldn’t put yourself through unnecessary hardship. Worry when it’s time to worry; otherwise, handle your darkest moments with the same gentleness we would.”

“That’s not happening.”

“Not yet, perhaps, but someday.”

“No.” Gabriel sat up and let go. “Sam - he - ”

“Sam is weighed down by his own trauma. He doesn’t like to show it, and every now and again the process of fighting with himself leads to an inability to focus on anything else. He’s overwhelmed by the past, Gabriel. It’s not because you did something wrong.”

“Castiel, I - it’s like I need him all the time. Night and day. I’ve never let him set boundaries. I just fling myself at him. And the poor kid doesn’t complain. He’s gonna run himself into the ground trying to fix the unfixable.”

“Gabriel, Sam isn’t a ‘kid.’ He can make his own choices about what he’s willing to provide. Besides, even if there are some things that can’t be fixed - and there are certainly fewer than you believe - he wants to comfort you in the short term. I know he intends for you to get back to who you were, but this isn’t a project. It’s not a puzzle to be solved. You are not a puzzle to be solved. You’re his friend, and he wants to see you through this no matter how long it takes.”

“But what’s long to you and me isn’t the same as what’s long to humans.”

“That’s irrelevant, since Sam doesn’t care.”

Gabriel bit his lip. “Maybe I should talk to him.” Castiel’s eyes bore a quiet sadness as he looked at Gabriel. “I think he wants to be left in peace.”

A new feeling, a different kind of horror, interrupted the one that had haunted Gabriel up to this point. “Tell me what he said.”

“Brother - ”

“Tell me what he said. I need to know. Cas, I need to know what this is. It doesn’t feel right at all.”

“You don’t have to take care of Sam. We can handle that.”

“When I said I understood, when I said that I wasn’t surprised - I could tell Dean agrees that I push too hard. He knows, Castiel.”

“All right,” Castiel said softly. “All right. Will you let me touch you?”

“No. I have to know what’s going on.”

“I promise I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Just tell me what’s happening!” Gabriel was trembling now, terrified by the very real possibility of losing Sam. “Don’t make me sit here and wonder!”

“I’ll tell you,” Castiel assured him, “But only if you settle down. I don’t want you to work yourself into a panic.”

Gabriel made an effort to relax his shoulders. He took a deep breath. Anything to convince Castiel that he was ready to listen.

“All right.” Castiel looked him squarely in the face. “You’re not wrong. Sam has been dealing with a lot over these last several months. He took it upon himself to guide you through the aftermath of prolonged abuse. That was his decision. But yes, he’s exhausted. He hasn’t admitted to any of us how painful it can be for him to rework his way through memories that are sometimes brutally familiar.”

Gabriel clasped his hands together to try and conceal how badly they were shaking. “So what happened?”

Cas hesitated.

“Castiel,” Gabriel pleaded.

Castiel measured his words with care. “Sam grew anxious over dinner. I think it may have had something to do with Jack asking unexpected questions about Lucifer. I had to remove Sam from the kitchen when he became frantic. And in the course of this sudden attack of terror he … he confessed to having felt progressively more disturbed since allowing you to share some of your own experiences. But it isn’t you, Gabriel. It’s Hell. This is what Hell does to people. Both Sam and Dean tend to conceal their most debilitating emotions, and I can’t pretend to be much better. But Gabriel, don’t forget that you persisted in asking Sam if he felt uneasy, and he said no. I’ve cornered him more than once for the same reason. Time and again, he insisted that he was fine. Until tonight, he’d given us no reason to suspect that he was hiding anything.”

Gabriel’s voice rose in pitch. “He had nightmares. He woke up when he was staying with me and said he was dreaming about Lucifer.”

“Of course he was dreaming about Lucifer. That’s neither new nor surprising. No matter how much or how little you divulged, Sam would have been haunted by those visions.”

“But it’s - it was obvious. I knew what I was doing to him. Christ - ”

“Gabriel, calm down. You are not the culprit of Sam’s distress. Only Lucifer can be held accountable, much like Asmodeus is responsible for your current state.”

“Sam must be so pissed at me,” Gabriel whispered.

“Don’t presume to know how Sam feels towards you. He’s afraid but not deluded: he doesn’t blame you for anything, because he does see the same helplessness in you that he carries within himself. He wants you to be well and has lost sight of his own needs not because you denied him access to them, but because he denied himself.”

“I can’t give him up,” Gabriel blurted out. “I can’t. I should but I can’t.”

“I doubt you need to concern yourself with that. Sam asked about you while I was trying to console him. He reminded all three of us that you don’t like to fall asleep unaccompanied. Jack offered to take his place - I suspect partly because he felt guilty for asking the questions that triggered Sam’s behavior - but Dean volunteered.”

“Where is Sam now?”

“At the moment he needs to - ”

“I’m not going to see him; I just want to know if he’s okay.”

Before Castiel could reply, there was yet another knock at the door. Castiel got up to open it.

Leaning against the door frame, Sam gave a weak smile. His eyes were rimmed red and his cheeks splotched.

Gabriel averted his eyes, sickened by this reminder of what he had done to to the only person he fully trusted.

“Cas,” said Sam in a hoarse voice, “You think I could talk to Gabriel alone for a minute?”

Cas glanced at Gabriel, who nodded.

Once they had privacy, Sam came to sit beside Gabriel. “Sorry, I know you were looking for me earlier.”

“Cas gave me the short version of things.”

Sam tensed. “Oh.”

“You should’ve told me, Sam. I asked you. Why didn’t you say it was getting to be more than you could handle?”

Sam rubbed the back of his neck and looked down. “It isn’t usually.”

“No. No. Shut up. Cas said he had to keep you from having a complete breakdown. And he told me what you told him.”

Sam jerked his head up. “He wasn’t supposed to do that.”

“I forced it out of him. I had to know.”

“No - Gabriel, it’s fine. Sometimes I start thinking about Lucifer and … I mean, yeah, some of what you say hits a little close to home. But it’s not you. I promise it’s not you.”

“So I’ve been informed,” Gabriel said tartly.

“Well, look …” Sam slid both hands through his hair. “I guess what I’m starting to see is … is there’s some stuff maybe I can’t listen to.”

“And why in Dad’s name didn’t you keep me up to date on what that stuff was?”

“Because …” Sam fixed his eyes on the floor again. “Because it’s most of what you talk about.”

Dread and shame washed in equal measure through Gabriel’s blood. “Okay, so … what now?”

“Huh?”

“What’re you gonna do? I can’t have you trying to patch up my infected wounds when you’re bleeding out yourself. That’d do more damage to me than anything - thinking about how I was messing with you like that.”

“You know I want to help.”

“Well yeah, but - ”

“I want to help,” Sam repeated, “But I think that … that when something sets me off ... I don’t know. Maybe I can’t help, Gabe. I think this’ll make things worse for you - me being able to listen sometimes and then ditching you the second I hear something I don’t like. You deserve better than what I’ve been able to - ”

“Nope. Stop. There is an exactly zero percent chance that I’m going to listen to this spiel again.You’ve done more than enough, and you know that.”

“Gabriel, if I’m not stable enough to help you, then you might end up being right.”

“Right about what?”

“Right about … about not getting better.”

Gabriel felt a violent surge of nausea. “No no no, don’t say that. Don’t. Don’t make it sound like - Sam, just don’t.” He swallowed, trying to quell the sudden onset of sickness. “I don’t know what I can do here; I don’t know what I’m asking for. Of course I don’t deserve better than what you’ve given me. Even if you were shit at this, I still wouldn’t deserve better. You - you’re not - ”

“Gabriel, come on, don’t wind yourself up.”

Gabriel wrapped his arms around his abdomen, a position he reverted to every time he found himself desperate or frightened. “What do I do? You’re hurting, and at least some of that is my fault. I don’t wanna watch you deal with any kind of pain. And I especially don’t want you to be extra run down because you’re trying to help me climb out of this trash pit. You deserve to feel okay, Sam; you deserve to put Lucifer a million miles behind you and keep living your life. But right now you’re sick too. You’re sick like me - not as messy, but still sick. And I’m making you sicker.”

“Gabriel - ”

“You can’t get better if you have to listen to me rant about being tortured, or watch me sobbing like an infant over some stupid dream, or pull that damn bucket out of your closet so that I don’t hurl all over your sheets.” On impulse, Gabriel seized Sam’s hand. “Son of a bitch, why didn’t you tell me?”

Sam avoided his eyes. “I guess I didn’t really notice.”

“So you’ve just been trucking along without ever stopping to make sure you were in one piece?”

“Gabe, whether I’m okay doesn’t really phase me since I’ve never been anywhere near what most people would consider ‘okay.’ But so long as I’m bad enough to forget how to function, I can’t be any use to you.”

Dread coiled in Gabriel’s stomach.

Sam squeezed his hand. “It’s not that I don’t want to keep going. It’s that you’re not going to get anywhere if I can’t hold myself together. I thought I could, Gabriel, but it looks like maybe I can’t. I don’t want to make you worse. Or keep you from moving forward.”

“Do you expect yourself to be perfect?” Gabriel’s voice trembled, but he gave a faint smile as he added, “You think you signed up to be my guardian angel or something?”

“It’s not that I have to be perfect. It’s just …”

Gabriel waited.

“It’s that I know I’m about as far from perfect as anyone can be,” Sam finished in a low voice.

Gabriel put his other hand on top of Sam’s, remembering how Sam had done it for him after his rescue from Asmodeus. “Quit spewing melodramatic horseshit like that. You’re so sweet and self-sacrificing you could star in your own Christmas Hallmark movie. Sam, you …” He took a deep breath, trying to make the next words come more easily. “You can stop taking care of me. If - if you think it’s time for that.”

“For your sake,” Sam answered quietly, “I probably should.”

Gabriel’s throat tightened. “Yes. Quit giving me the illusion that this is okay for you, and that I have any right to your help in the first place. I want you to - to - ” But he faltered.

Sam looked puzzled. “You want me to what?”

Gabriel swallowed against the tightness in his throat. “I freakin’ need you, Sam. I just - listen, you have to get away from me. You do. I don’t want you to break your soul trying to heal me. And I say that, and - and right away I want to throw myself at you and scream. I don’t want you to leave. You gotta ignore that; you’ve got to shut me out no matter what I say. I don’t know why I even told you that; I don’t - I don’t know.” Gabriel released a sob. “So you’ll just - you’ll keep tormenting yourself while I scrape you raw. And you’ll take it; you’ll let me tear you apart.”

“Gabriel, no - hey - ” Sam leaned forward to try and embrace him with his free arm, but Gabriel let go of Sam’s hand and edged away.

“See this?” he choked. “See how I can’t go five minutes without crying like an honors student who lost the spelling bee to a jock? You know what we call that in the school of common sense, Sam?” Now Gabriel let the tears creep unchecked down his face. “Manipulation. I’m playing you. I don’t mean to, but that doesn’t make it any less poisonous. And if ever there was a time for you to back out, it’s now.”

Sam shook his head, looking pained.

“You’re not obligated to bring me back to life, Sam. Think about it: I go to my brother on a regular basis anyway. He’s not like you; he’s - he’s Cas, and he doesn’t have your…” Gabriel struggled for the right word. “Whatever it is you have. But he’s not sick. Not like you, not like me.”

Sam’s face became more serious. “Gabriel, that’s not true. Cas isn’t okay either. He hasn’t been for a long time. We’re all screwed up. You seriously think you’re the only one who doesn’t know how to function? Or that I’m the only one of us who gets scared of my own shadow?”

“Well it’s not like that that makes any of this better!”

“We understand, Gabe. We understand what you’re up against. I mean, not exactly; we’ve seen different things, faced different kinds of torture. But all of us know what it’s like to be in your place.”

Gabriel scoffed. “So you understand. That’s exactly what’s driving you away. You can’t deal with hearing about being held captive. And I don’t blame you. I only wish you’d told me sooner so that you could catch a break and I could prepare myself.”

Sam’s shoulders slumped. “The truth is I don’t know where to go from here, man. I might ruin you.”

“Jesus, Sam, will you knock it off? That isn’t what this is about. This is about you being in pain, not me being a needy little bitch. I mean, sure, that’s what’s caused this mess, but you get what I’m trying to say.”

“I really don’t,” Sam told him. “It sounds like on the one hand you’d be okay with me leaving because you think it’s the right thing for both of us. On the other … it seems like you’ll do whatever it takes to hold on.”

Gabriel scrubbed the heels of his hands over his cheeks. “I know. And I’m sorry. It’s because I’m split in half over this. But what I think doesn’t matter, because you need to make sure you’re all right. Please, Sam. Please take care of yourself.”

Sam looked almost frightened.

“Sam,” said Gabriel, “Pay attention to what you need.”

“I can’t,” Sam muttered.

“Yes you can. You have to.”

Sam shook his head.

“Why not?” Gabriel pleaded.

Sam’s eyes glistened with tears. “Because I don’t know how.”

Gabriel’s heart sank. He reached out to touch Sam’s arm. “Sam.”

“It’s not up to you to worry about me,” Sam mumbled.

“Zip it. You should’ve mentioned this months ago. Of course I’m worried about you. I’ve been worried about you since you started looking after me, because I knew there was a good chance that it’d make you squirm. You’ve been suffering, and now I have to push you away because you don’t know what’s good for you.”

When Sam responded, his voice was soft. “You’re wrong. It’s not about me. It’s about you being better off getting help from someone who can give it to you.”

Gabriel slid his hand away.

“Just because,” Sam went on, “This whole thing has made me realize that I might slow you down. I feel like - ”

“Okay.” Gabriel realized he was shaking, and made an effort to still himself. “Okay, hold up. I gotta tell you something.” Instinctively, he seized Sam by the arm with both hands. “Sam, I don’t care how long this takes. Not as long as I get to do it with you.”

Sam blinked at him.

“I know I keep telling you to quit,” Gabriel went on, “But if the only reason you’re seriously thinking about giving up is because you think you’re the one who’s not good enough, then just - just - ”

“Look, Gabe - ”

“You’re wrong. You’re right about a lot of things, and I trust you, but Dad help me if I’m gonna sit here and listen to you roast yourself. I need you to help me, Sam. I don’t deserve it but I need it. If you stop, I want it to be because you don’t believe in me, not because you don’t believe in yourself. And I swear if you make me spew any more tripe worthy of Cinderella’s personal stash of Harlequin Romances, I’ll get Dean and Castiel in here to bully you into an acceptable level of self-esteem.”

Sam gazed at him with something like resignation - or perhaps it was simply exhaustion.

“Do what’s healthy for you, Sam,” Gabriel continued. “What do you want? What would be the best choice? Forget me; pretend I’m not part of the equation. What would make you happy?”

Sam shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“Then pick something!”

Sam searched Gabriel’s face, as though he might find the correct response there. Then: “I’m not leaving. Not if you’re asking me to choose what I want. Because I want to help, Gabriel. As much as I can. You need it and I want to give it. But …”

“But sometimes,” Gabriel offered, tightening his grip, “You get freaked out. That’s all right. I just wish you’d told me the truth when I asked if you were okay.”

“I did tell the truth. I thought I was able to listen to anything.” Sam gave a faint smile. “Guess there’s a reason pride is one of the Seven Deadly Sins, huh?”

“You’re not proud. You’re afraid. Afraid of all those memories, afraid of Lucifer, afraid that someone’ll see how terrified you are and try to step in.” Gabriel released Sam in order to rest his head upon Sam’s shoulder, too tired now to oscillate between shoving him away and wrenching him back in. “You’re good, Sam. You’re good at what you do. And you’re still good when you’re not doing anything. Stay and help me if that’s what you really want. But how about sending a memo when I start blah-blah-blahing about things you don’t wanna remember? I’ll find Cas; I’ll find Dean. Whatever, they know how to hold my head over the toilet. And honestly - this should go without saying - the farther you stretch yourself, the guiltier I’m going to feel.”

Sam frowned. “But what if you wake up in the middle of the night and it really has to be me?”

“Then I’ll remind myself that it doesn’t have to be you. In any case, it’d be good for me to start trusting Dean and Cas more. Maybe I won’t have as many nightmares about those two handing me over to Asmodeus.”

Almost absentmindedly, Sam wrapped an arm around him. “Guess you could be right.”

“That’s better. Hey, keep something in mind, Sam: I’m broken. Permanently. I’m scared of everything and I hate myself. But I’m not stupid. And only a stupid person would see you as anything but good.”

Sam pulled away to examine him. “Speaking of being scared, are you better than before I came in?”

“Sufficiently frustrated with you and your stubbornness that I’m no longer drowning in my own terror.”

Sam smiled.

Someone rapped at the door and opened it before either of them could respond.

Castiel frowned as he surveyed them. “I think you two had better rest. It’s late.”

“Cas,” said Gabriel, “Come in here for a sec.”

Castiel shut the door, ever conscious of the potential for behavior that Gabriel might not want anyone else to see. “Are you all right?”

“Are you?”

The question took Castiel by surprise. “Right now? That seems like an odd thing to bring up.”

“Well, I figured maybe it’d been a while since anyone asked.”

Castiel glanced at Sam, perhaps thinking that he could offer an explanation for Gabriel’s strange inquiry.

“Answer the question,” said Sam.

“Um.” Castiel turned back to his brother. “I’m fine. Sam, are you feeling better?”

“A little bit.”

“And Gabriel?”

Gabriel shrugged. “On a scale of ‘me usually’ to ‘me never,’ I’m at about ‘me sometimes.’”

“Well,” said Cas, “I’ll stay in here with you tonight, unless you would rather have Dean.”

“No,” Sam interjected, “I’m already here.”

Castiel shook his head. “Not tonight, Sam.”

“I got it. Really. Tomorrow we can switch it up if you want.”

Castiel looked apprehensive. “Is that what both of you prefer?”

“We’re good,” Gabriel assured him. Sam raised his eyebrows, perhaps having expected Gabriel to reject Sam’s offer.

Castiel nodded. “Then … good night.” He turned around and made to open the door, but Gabriel said, “Hang on, little brother.”

Cas looked back.

“Go chill for a while,” said Gabriel. “You saw what just happened to Sam. I don’t want you to head down the same road.”

Castiel looked confused for a moment, and then recognition dawned on his face. “When I told you that I’ve faced my own trials, I didn’t mean to alarm you.”

“Just making sure you know you don’t always have to be at the helm of this whole twisted operation. Taking care of me, taking care of Sam. It’s nice of you, but be careful.”

“I see. That’s … very thoughtful of you.”

Gabriel gave a knowing smile. “We’re all set over here. Go relax for five minutes, would you?”

Castiel nodded, still a little perplexed. “I will.”

After he’d left, Sam and Gabriel both got to their feet.

“I’ll be right back,” Sam said. “Gonna grab some reading material.” Typically, while he waited for Gabriel to fall asleep, Sam passed the time by poring over the Men of Letters’ endless body of texts on the supernatural.

“Oh,” said Gabriel, “Right. Prepping to curl up in the corner until I’m fully unconscious.”

Sam shrugged. “Yeah.”

“I’m not letting you camp out on the floor, you idiot. You’ve earned an actual night’s rest.”

“It’s okay; I’ll leave once you’re asleep.”

“No you won’t. You’re a limp noodle. You’re going to pass out before I do.”

Sam scrubbed a hand over his face. “Fine. Then we can just share the bed. I don’t mind that.”

“Yeah you do. I regularly wake up puking on myself. I’ll sleep on the floor so that you can - ”

“Regularly?”

“I mean I don’t keep a log, but - ”

“You should’ve said something!”

“Did we not just have a whole seminar about this?”

“Look,” said Sam, “Either I’m getting on the floor or we can bunk together. Put a bucket next to the bed.”

“I do! But I can’t think straight after I’ve been kicking and screaming while Asmodeus skins me down to the bone.”

“Gabriel, dude … ”

“So as long as you’re willing to risk a 4:00 A.M. change of bedding - ”

“Okay,” Sam interrupted, “I’m tired. We can talk about this in the morning.”

“All right. Godspeed, Sam.”

Sam’s face softened. “Gabe, this isn’t about you wanting to keep the sheets clean, is it? This is because you think I’m going to get angry.”

Gabriel bit his lip.

Sam laid a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder. “It’s all okay. Get ready to go to bed and try not to worry.”

Gabriel turned his gaze to the floor.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” Sam said.

Without looking up, Gabriel replied, “Go change out of your lesbian lumberjack uniform.”

Sam patted him on the shoulder. “Hold tight.”

While Sam was out of the room, Gabriel hurried into his own pajamas. He hated to feel exposed even when he knew he was permitted solitude, and that no one here would take advantage of his vulnerability.

Only as he lay down did Gabriel realize that his head ached from fatigue. He hoped he wouldn’t wake in a panic within the next few hours. Somehow this felt like the best chance he would ever get to convince Sam to stay.

It was a constant push-and-pull with Gabriel these days: begging Sam to leave, and then pleading with him to remain.

Just as the door opened again, Gabriel told himself that - for now - he could let Sam help. It was only a matter of time until Sam came to realize his own worth.

But what would happen next?

Worry when it’s time to worry, Castiel had said.

Maybe worrying could wait.

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