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#incorrect wally west quote
jakascoo · 3 months
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Dick: Wow, Wally, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you. Wally: We literally slept together yesterday. Dick: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.
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okaybutmakeitgayer · 2 years
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Wally, at 3am: the birds work for the bourgeoisie!
Dick: what
Wally: Batman is a billionaire, right? And Batman is connected to a lot of the bird-themed superheroes!
Dick: the birds DO work for the bourgeoisie
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theaceofarrows · 1 month
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Welcome to the family
[Dick on the phone with Wally, while walking up the manors driveway]
Dick: I still can't believe that he got another kid! I'm gone for a few weeks, and suddenly, he gets empty nest syndrome, unbelievable
Wally: Yeah, definitely didn't see that one coming. So, have you met the kid yet?
Dick: [groans] I'm about to, not that I'm overly thrilled about this
Wally: I get it, dude. Just make sure not to take it out on the kid too much
Dick: Yeah, yeah, I'm not going to be a complete jerk. After all this mess isn't the kids fault
Dick: Ugh, I just hope this kid doesn't act like Bruce hung the starts or something-
Dick: [opens the front door]
Jason: -you really like the Frankenstein movie more than the book?! B, how STUPID can you be?!
Wally: [still on the other end of the line] What was that?
Dick: ...I'm gonna have to call you back, Wally
-
[Later]
Dick: [holding back laughter] And then, after he threw the tire iron he said- he said "Try and catch me you big boob!"
Wally: No way! He did not say that to Batman!
Dick: HE DID!
[hysterically laughing]
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batfamgalore · 3 months
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*The Justice League reaches out to Nightwing and tells him they need help on a case. Dick asks Bruce why they asked him*
Bruce: I might have mentioned to the Justice League, accidentally, that you… might be able to help.
Dick: Whoah. Time out. Flag on the play. Did you vouch for me?
Bruce: No. I wouldn’t say exactly I vouched for you.
Dick: Wally, Bruce vouched for me.
Bruce: I did not vouch for you.
Dick: You were bragging on me. You have a dad crush on me.
Bruce: Dick, I was not bragging on you. I was merely stating facts about your track record that are in the newspaper.
Dick: Let’s hug it out.
Bruce: Put your arms down.
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ahfrickenfrick · 6 days
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jason: i physically cannot believe you’re the oldest
dick: wtf why not
jason: i literally heard you ask alfred if you can have wally over for a playdate, you’re 27 years old!! wally is 28 for gods sake, you have your own place!!
dick: …you are NEVER too old for a playdate with your homie
jason: YOU’VE BEEN DATING FOR SEVEN YEARS!!
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wondersinwaynemanor · 28 days
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let's pretend that this is the right timeline because what if Dick becomes Batman at the same time when Wally becomes The Flash?
let's also say that this is just like the Justice League animated series wherein the League members don't know each member's identities (except of course Bruce, he knows everybody).
how funny would it be if Dick and Wally are together and the rest of the League are confused because all of a sudden Batman and Flash are close like super close? i mean they have witnessed how Flash gets intimidated by Batman. now, that's not the case anymore.
during a meeting:
Hal, leaning to John during a League meeting, whispers: I'm not losing my mind, right?
John, whispers back: I think I know what you mean.
Hal: Why is Flash making heart eyes to Bats????
John: I know??? Flash doesn't even look him in the eyes before.
Hal: That's so odd, dude.
Batman glances at the two Green Lanterns which makes them shut up.
meanwhile, across the table, Martian Manhunter has a light smile on his lips and Superman covers his laugh with a cough.
-
at the cafeteria:
Ollie: Hey, Dinah. Have you noticed something unusual between Batman and Flash lately?
Dinah: It is quite unusual, huh? I was talking to Hawkgirl the other day and she said she saw Flash bridal carry Bats.
Ollie: What the actual fu-
Flash, approaches the couple's table with a big bowl of nachos on his hand: Hey, guys! Mind if I sit with you?
Ollie and Dinah give a knowing look at each other. a conversation they definitely will finish later.
-
during in an another planet mission:
Batman, after announcing everyone's partners for the mission:... And lastly, I will pair up with Flash in today's mission.
Flash grins widely, that has Arthur thinking his cheeks might be hurting after that.
Arthur: Yeah, yeah. At this point, we already know, Bats!
the Green Lanterns, along with Captain Marvel and Booster Gold, snicker at his comment.
Batman ignores Arthur's comment and the rest of the members scatter to their assigned locations.
Victor, who was paired with Arthur: Was gonna give that comment too.
Arthur: It's like they are inseparable all of a sudden.
Victor, shakes his head: Well, I have seen weirder things.
-
in the meeting hall:
Wonder Woman, pulls Batman in the corner of the room: Okay, that's enough. You are truly ignoring me. What is going on with you lately?
Batman: Did the rest of the League put you up to this?
Wonder Woman, has her hands on her hips: They didn't need to. So, tell me. And don't you ever lie to me, I can see right through you, Batman.
Batman, sighs: It's hard for me to explain. I can't-I can't tell you right now.
Wonder Woman: Hera! Now, Bru-Batman.
before Batman responses, the door of the meeting hall opens and in comes Robin with his katana. the conversations between the League members come to a stop as they stare at the young hero.
Robin, glances at everyone, before approaching Flash: I need help with an important matter.
Flash, smiles and ruffles Robin's hair, as if that's second nature: Of course, little dude.
Hal, stands up from his seat: THAT'S IT! Can somebody tell me what the hell is going on????
Ollie, stands up with him: Are we in another dimension that I don't know about?????
Dinah pulls Ollie down by his arm to make him sit again.
the rest of the League members start to converse against each other.
Superman, floats a bit from his seat: Why don't we all settle down? There's nothing to be alarmed about.
Robin, shakes his head: Tt. Absolute fools.
by the time Bruce and Barry are back:
-
Bruce, pinches the bridge of his nose: Chum, you could at least be discreet with Wally.
Dick: It's not my fault, B! I swear I was going to explain to Aunt Diana then Dami entered the room.
Damian: Tt. Don't blame me, Grayson. Why don't you lecture West on how to be more responsible? He left me on read when I asked help for my Science project.
Dick, sighs: And what about Timmy? He could have helped.
Damian: I don't want anything to do with Drake.
Bruce massages his temples as he feels a headache coming up.
-
Barry: Wally!!!!
Wally, zooms right in front of Barry: I couldn't help it, okay?? Dick is just irresistible.
Iris giggles as she prepares the table for dinner.
Barry, sighs: That's alright. I'll talk to Bats on how we can explain it to the team.
Wally, grins and sits down by the table: It was hard not to laugh at them. They were so confused.
Barry, chuckles: I'm sure Hal's expression was the funniest.
Wally, laughs: You have no idea, Uncle Barry.
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mcuxhp777 · 3 months
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Bruce: I can't say I'm surprised
Jason: You knew
Bruce: First it was you with Gar, then it was Dick with Wally, then it was Tim with Kon and now, Damian's dating Jon
Tim: I don't understand, what's the point
Bruce: Every one of you attracts supers
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Tumblr media
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incorrectbatfam · 2 years
Conversation
Dick: This is my childhood best friend, Wally! He's amazing and has taught me so many things.
Jason: This is Roy. We've been living together for 8 years.
Tim: This is Bart. He has rabies.
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xxfoulplayxx · 7 months
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Robin: throw me, throw me, throw me.
Superman: no.
Kid Flash: I'll catch him, just throw him really high and really far. Please.
Superman: no!
Robin: Throw me, throw me, throw me.
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jakascoo · 1 year
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Wally: You’re charged with…..breaking into a pet store? Dick: I thought the animals might be lonely.
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*Dick hangs up*
Bruce: Huh.
Duke: Uh oh. What's going on, B?
Bruce: Dick usually says "I love you" when we hang up. And then he sings it and then he whispers it. This time he just said, "gotta go, dad"
Cass: Well, maybe... He's gotta go?
Bruce: Yeah, maybe. It just feels like Dick hasn't been around as much lately. Last week, he only came to four out of seven breakfasts, and he missed bat-equitment maintenance day to, and I quote, "train with Wally." He didn't even come over to watch that other unrelated Wayne family on Family Feud.
Damian: Their performance was- survey says- disgraceful.
Bruce: I mean, I don't want to just throw around the D-word but...
Steph: *Gasp* Dracula disorder?
Bruce: Drifting. As in we're all drifting apart. This was my worry when Dick moved out to Blüdhaven, that we'd see him less and less. And then from there, who knows what would happen?
Jason: oh my god, is it me driving him away? I'm always pestering Dick with annoying questions like "How much do you think your arms weigh? Like if you took them off your body and weighed them separately?"
Tim: *gasp* it could be my fault. The other day, when Dick and I went to the movies, I got a small popcorn to share and he said, "I wish you'd gotten a medium."
Damian: well, I know it's not me. I'm amazing.
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kazuko-stuff · 2 months
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Mommy
Warning: just a crack idea based on the mommy meme
Wally: How do you feel of boys calling girls mommy
Dick: so if girls can us daddy
Roy: so why can’t we call each other daddy
Dick: No, mommy! You know what I meant
Wally: you can call me mommy anytime
Roy: I as well
Dick: Wally, you being mommy, in your dreams
Roy: and you think you can be daddy
Dick: I am the most handsome
*All three continuing chatting*
Y/n: hey guys, ready for smash bros
Dick: oh hey mommy
Y/n,Roy, Wally: ……
Y/N: WHAT!!!!
Dick: 😏
Y/N: Hey baby
Dick: 😳
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batfamgalore · 9 months
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Oliver: I knew you two couldn’t stay mad at each other.
Dick: Oh yeah. We’re closer than ever.
*Dick and Roy hold up their hands and they are both handcuffed together*
Bruce: You wanna tell me how this happened?
Roy: Well, Wally thought-
Bruce: Oh man, I wish that boy would stop doing that.
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celaenaeiln · 4 months
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civilian!birdflash first date
Dick: So...what do you like to do in your free time?
Wally:I love to run! I go running every morning and evening, it's just such a great feeling!
Dick: *trying to impress Wally* Oh, me too! I love to run! You know in fact I'm so in love with running I actually run in marathons
Wally: REALLY?! We should go running together!!
Dick: Totally! :)
Wally: Awesome!! Wanna run in the Los Angeles marathon together with me? It's in a couple months, it's the perfect time to go!!
Dick: O-Oh! Isn't that...a little far from here? It's on the other side of the country and everything-
Wally: No worries! My family's really big on running so we go every year. I'll buy both of us a ticket! We're gonna have so much fun!!
Dick: *smiling weakly* g-great! I'm...looking forward to it...
2 hours later at home
Dick: *face down on the couch* Alfred I'm never lying ever again.
Alfred: *polishing the chrome* A noble endeavour Master Dick
Bruce: *walking in* Where were you? I've been calling you for four hours now.
Dick: *not even a second later* Sorry I was busy hanging out with Donna. We were getting ice cream and then went to a dog park.
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wondersinwaynemanor · 5 months
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Everyone just goes to Dick's place and he welcomes them as long as they do something for him in return.
Jason knocks on Dick's door, helmet already off - Hey Dickiebird, *flashing him with a large smile* I'm gonna crash here cus Bruce knows where all of my safehouses are now and I don't wanna face him.
Dick - As long as you cook, Jay, cus I have a broken arm right now. And you patch up whatever argument you have with Bruce.
Jason - You're no fun, Dick. And let me patch your arm first, you're gonna bleed out.
Dick - Aw Little Wing looking out for his big brother.
Jason - You big goof.
Tim has made a duplicate key of Dick's apartment door because that boy is always steps ahead of everyone.
Dick is startled as he settles on the bed, getting ready to sleep - What the fu-Timmy! How did you- I'm not even gonna ask.
Tim flashes the duplicate key with exhausted eyes - Yup, already made a duplicate, Dick. And can I sleep in your place tonight? I don't think I can make it to the Manor.
Dick already has his arm wide open for Tim - As long as you don't snore, Timbalina, cus you've been awake for days now.
Damian tries his best to unlock Dick's apartment door with his katana.
Dick is already opening it before Damian can do it for himself - Hey, Dami.
Damian - Grayson. I'm here tonight cus my cycle has a flat tire.
Dick - But you know how to fix that, Dami. Is that an excuse cus you just miss me?
Damian, doesn't say anything against that - Tt. That's absurd.
Dick - You can stay here if you like, even for more than one night, as long as you let me cuddle you.
Damian - That's too childish.
Dick - Then you can't stay-
Damian - Fine, fine.
Wally already zooms inside Dick's apartment before Dick could even close the door when he got his food delivery - Hey, Dick. Gonna stay here for a while. I burned my place and I'm hiding from Barry and Iris.
Dick - As long as you don't burn my place.
Wally - Won't let anything happen to you.
Bruce is already in Dick's place before Dick comes home from patrol - Hi, Chum. Just checking to see how you're doing.
Dick - You're really getting soft in your old age, B. I'm good.
Bruce - Can I stay here for the night? Just to make sure.
Dick - As long as you try to get some sleep, B. Instead of moping around.
Bruce - I'll make sure you sleep first.
Dick - You gonna tuck me in like before?
Bruce, without thinking and hesitation - If you want me to.
Dick - Getting soft, old man, getting soft.
And Dick doesn't mind that his loved ones go to his place. They don't even have to do something for him in return.
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