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#incorrect batbros quotes
samthechaotic 29 days
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Tim: Whenever I face a horrible situation, I ask myself "what would Jason do?" and do the exact opposite.
Damian: For the first, and probably last, time in your life Drake, you're right.
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hypnogoopgardennerd 5 months
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Damian: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.
Dick: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?
Damian: No! Four to five seconds!
Dick: Too late!!!
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ditzybat 2 months
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bruce: he鈥檚 killed people
damian [who鈥檚 heard stephanie say this at least 10x a day]: but have you considered that maybe he鈥檚 just a teenage girl?
jason: yeah! have you considered that bruce?!
bruce: jason, you鈥檙e 22 and a male
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91-1lover 1 month
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What if Damian and Tim love each other and even like? It's just more of a situation "Manipulating others is easier ". Maybe an example will help;
Damian: Father, May I go to Zoo today?
Bruce:No Damian, you're grounded.
Tim:Oh, that's bad. I could go with you to take photos of otter, but if you are not going I think I will stay too. What's a zoo without company. Maybe I will go with Kon next week.
Bruce *Super happy in a moment of thinking his youngest kids getting along*: If you two agree not to kill each other, Damian can go
Tim and Damian:*Knowing looks*
Or situation like;
Tim who has abandoned issues and is having fear of people leaving him: Dick is mad at me. Can you stab me so he will be in his mother hen mode Instead?
Damian who would like to have 5 minutes of peace from Grayson: Say no more
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The only time when all the batkids will work together in perfect harmony is to prank Bruce.
And for the best prank all they needed was a few label makers.
Labels are put on everything.
On every mug, on every plate, on every bandaid package.
The chocolate bars are labeled "BatSnack".
The fruits become "Batana", "Batricot" and "Batermelon".
Every button on the microwave, every key on the keyboard, it all gets a label.
"Batstop button", "Batstart button", "Bat-A-key", Bat-Enter-key".
Bruce's desk isn't simply the "Batdesk". It is the "Batwood construction surface".
There is a label beneath the desk too.
Originally named "underside of Batwood construction surface".
It takes days, weeks, months to remove all the labels.
Until one day, when Bruce makes a few new installations in the cave.
Surely some higher being is laughing at him right now, Bruce thinks, as he pulls of the last one.
"Batceiling"
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batfamilycannons 2 months
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Bruce *storming in, burnt and covered in ash*: Where is your brother?
Damian and Tim: tf??
Tim: uh I think Jason鈥檚 in the library?
Bruce: no not him the other one
Dick, *scurries past the door*
Bruce: RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON why did you set my bed on fire
Dick: You deserve it!!
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ashoss 5 months
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average patrol w hood and wing
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reineydraws 5 months
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any fan of kakashi is a fan of jason todd send tweet
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theaceofarrows 5 months
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Damian: [walks into Bruce's office with his hands behind his back]
Damian: Father, I would like to congratulate you. You are now a grandfather
Bruce: [seconds away from a heart attack] W- what?
Damian: [reveals the hamster he was holding behind his back] Meet Ferdinand
Bruce: [slumps against desk] Next time... please- please lead with that... I'm begging you
-
Jason: [hiding in the vents with a camera] He actually did it, the crazy little son of a bitch
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incorrectbatfam 7 months
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[at Jason's funeral]
Dick: *places his hand on the headstone and sobs*
Dick: How could you do this to me? We are so understaffed.
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hypnogoopgardennerd 1 year
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Damian: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Tim: No, if they consent it.
Jason: Depends on who you're stabbing.
Dick: YES?!
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wickedbats 22 days
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Damian: Someone gave me their phone number, what should I do with it?
Dick: Who exactly gave you the phone number?
Jason: And, more importantly, how old were they?
Tim: Where did this take place? I鈥檒l run their number in the database.
Damian: I鈥檓 sensing a strange vibe here. Explain.
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nightwolf14292 11 days
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I like to imagine that if any of the Bat-Kids are out in public, whether they be getting food, shopping, patrolling, just walkin' around, whatever, that if they see the Bat-Signal pop on it's an unspoken rule between the siblings that they have to throw on their costume and try and find/deal with the trouble before Bruce gets there. Just to annoy him.
Batman: "Commissioner Gordon! I got here as fast as I could.. What's the situation?"
Commissioner Gordon: "Oh, Batman, thank you for coming.. It's alright, though, it's already been taken care of by these fellows."
*Gestures to the side where there's a couple of muggers sitting tied up next to Nightwing(He has pink, glittery shopping bags hanging all over his arms), Red Hood(He's rummaging through the bags Nightwing is holding, trying to find the black nail polish he just bought to touch up his nails after the fight), Red Robin(He's sipping a cup of coffee that he accidentally stole because he ran out of the cafe so quickly that he forgot to pay), and Robin(He's chowing down on a kids' meal from Bat-Burger)*
Batman: ...
Batman: *Subtle annoyed glare*
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sodamnbored 19 days
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Damian, entering the living room: Oh, Drake. I didn鈥檛 realise you were here too.
Tim, distracted on his phone on the couch: Yeah, best WiFi around. Keeping busy?
Damian, looking in cupboards and chandeliers for acrobatic older brothers: Looking for Dick.
Tim absently, not looking up from Grindr: Mm, me too.
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Dick: *posts a video consisting of multiple clips to social media, in which Jason is seen sitting in a chair, reading something on his phone*
---
Jason: *widens his eyes and leans forward, gripping one of the chair arms*
Jason: No, the fuck, he didn't?!
Jason: That's not something he would say, but fine.
Jason: *blinks a few times* *looks up* *stares at his phone again* *blinks again* *raises his eyebrows*
Jason: *lies his phone aside, grips his hair while he paces around the room, clearly suppressing a scream*
Jason: I know I sometimes turn into a masochist when it comes to reading, but this is on a new level, even for me
---
Tim: *walks into the frame and takes Jason's phone away*
Jason: Give me back my pho-
Tim: YOU READ BATFAMILY ON AO3?!
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91-1lover 1 month
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Dick and Damian- *Fighting using an incredible strategy and hours of training*
Meanwhile
Jason- YEEEET *Throwing Tim at bad guys*
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