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incorrectbatfam · 2 days
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Jason: Arson? Oh, you mean crime brûlée.
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[Before departing for a mission]
Mace Windu: One moment, Obi-Wan. Ahsoka will accompany you on your mission.
Obi-Wan: Of course! The more the merrier!
Windu: And so will Anakin.
Obi-Wan: ...Up to a point.
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romanoffshouse · 18 hours
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*nudging Natasha awake at 2 a.m.*
Y/N: Do you like me?
Natasha: I MARRIED YOU
Y/N: yeah, but did you marry me as a friend, or as a wife?
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not-rab · 2 days
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Bellatrix: You can trust me! Let’s not forget who pulled you out of that river when you were 14
Sirius: Let’s not forget who pushed me in
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zootopiathingz · 3 days
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Charlie: I wanted to tell you a joke but I only remember the punchline.
Alastor: go ahead.
Charlie: tooth hurty.
Alastor: when is the best time to go to the dentist.
Charlie: you complete me.
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leorobotsworld · 3 days
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Ruby: Stop doing that
Jaune*literally just standing there*: Doing what?
Ruby: Things that make me want to kiss the hell out of you
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Shinichi: Miyano finally went to therapy today.
Kaito: How did it go?
Shinichi: Her therapist had to get a therapist.
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incorrect-web-novels · 21 hours
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Luo Binghe: They are Cancelling me for dealing with my grief as best I can :(
Luo Binghe:...also for the vicious war crimes.
(Source)
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incorrect-esmp-quotes · 22 hours
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Shelby: My criminal record? The only illegal thing I’ve done is absolutely killing it on the dance floor.
Shelby: Ha! Just kidding. I have killed a man.
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Frank: I’m a sensible, peaceful man.
Howdy: Five minutes ago you threw a chair at Barnaby.
Frank: That was a sensible, peaceful compromise from the table I was going to throw at him.
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Meta Knight: We have to get to the Jambastion, and we have to get there fast.
Taranza: Then I should drive.
Meta Knight: Why you?
Taranza: I have nothing to live for, and I drive like it.
Magolor: Cool, let’s do it.
*cut to*
Everyone in the Lor: *screaming*
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Stanley: How tall are you? The Narrator: Extremely. Thanks for asking.
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xiiiwayfinders · 3 days
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Axel: I told Larxene I was getting tired of her shit and the bitch bought me an energy drink.
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george-the-pumpkin · 2 days
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Lockwood: Chat what do we think?
George and Lucy: Can you not call us that please.
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ouatsqincorrect · 24 hours
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Belle: Do you think Emma has been doing okay lately?
Emma, running after a garbage truck: COME BACK! YOU FORGOT ME!
Zelena: Yep. She seems pretty normal.
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Moon: Okay. mission number two, finding where the popcorn is.
Eclipse: Wait, what was mission number one?
Moon: Fucking getting here, Eclipse.
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