#i think my soul crumbled into a million pieces | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thequeenviana · 2 months

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Ensnared

Pairing: Yandere Kim Taehyung x OC(Yuna)

Warning: This story is a work of fanfiction and is purely a product of the author's imagination. It does not depict any real-life events or individuals. While some characters may be inspired by real-life idols, their portrayal in this story is fictional and not representative of their true selves. Please note that this story may contain triggering content, including themes of abuse, gore, murder, humiliation, bullying, rape, and other mature and dark themes. Reader discretion is advised, especially for those under the age of 18. If you are uncomfortable with such content, it is recommended to refrain from reading and kindly disregard this story.

Synopsis: Yuna finds herself questioning her husband's love and fidelity. She becomes convinced that he has fallen out of love with her and is engaging in an extramarital affair. Adding to her distress, her husband refuses to acknowledge their relationship publicly and instead presents someone else as his wife. Despite the heartache, she chooses to stay by his side, hoping for a change. However, the question lingers: How long can she endure this situation before reaching her breaking point?

They say that being in love is a beautiful and magical feeling, where two souls intertwine and create a bond that can withstand any storm.

But, why is it that in my case, it feels like something is missing?

My name is Yuna, Kim Yuna, a 26-year-old woman who is married to the one and only Kim Taehyung. He is not only the world's famous CEO but also a self-made model of his own modeling company, which goes by the name of "Kim's Fashion Empire." We have been married for almost two years now, but why do I felt like he was embarrassed to reveal me to the whole world,that he claims someone else as his wife that brakes my heart.

I don't understand how this happened, but he claims that our marriage is just a facade to protect me from his rivals. However, deep down, I can't help but feel that he is protecting himself more than me. There was a time when a reporter asked him about his rumored wife, and the whole world was eager to know who this lucky girl was. Many speculated that it could be a celebrity or an idol, especially Nova, who was working closely with him. We had countless fights over this, but he always managed to calm me down with his sweet words and promises to reveal me to the world as his wife.

The day finally arrived when he introduced Nova as his wife to the public, and it shattered my heart into a million pieces. What hurt even more was when the reporters asked for proof, and without hesitation, he kissed her in front of everyone. As I watched this heartbreaking scene unfold on television, tears streamed down my face, and my heart felt like it was being ripped apart. Meanwhile, our second-anniversary cake remained untouched, a symbol of the love we once shared but now seemed to be crumbling away.

When he finally came home, I couldn't contain my emotions any longer. We erupted into another argument, and in my pain and anger, I slapped him and pushed him away, forbidding him from touching me with his filthy hands. He had the audacity to try and kiss me, even after kissing that woman! But, being the foolish woman that I am, I couldn't think straight. I gave in to him once again, swayed by his sweet words, apologies, and manipulative explanations. He made me believe that he only did it to protect me from his enemies, who would stop at nothing to bring him down by using me as a weapon. And in my weakness, I allowed him to win me over, as he tightly embraced me, and I cried myself to sleep.

I know I may seem foolish and naive, but please don't be mad at me. I truly love this man with all my heart, and it's that love that keeps me holding on, hoping that one day, he will truly see and appreciate the love I have for him.

...

It was 8:46 a.m., and I stepped out of the car, a smile gracing my face. I adjusted my dress and held onto the lunch I had cooked for him. With a mask and cap on, I entered his company, always in awe of its grandeur. His intelligence and hard work had brought him to this position as the CEO of the number one top modeling agency, making him the most handsome man in the world. I couldn't help but feel immense pride in my man.

As I walked towards the receptionist, she greeted me with a warm smile, and I returned it graciously. Making my way through the VIP elevator, I ascended to his office. The sound of the elevator opening made me look up, and I stepped out, heading towards his office door. However, my smile faltered when I saw them again. Him and Nova, standing side by side, engrossed in conversation. I watched as they seemed to be getting closer, his smile widening as he listened to her. I didn't allow myself to dwell on negative thoughts and cleared my throat to catch their attention. They both turned towards me, and Nova quickly distanced herself from him, his smile fading as his eyes met mine. It had been a while since I had seen him smile like that, but not for me, for another woman. Was this a sign? No, I couldn't let myself think that way. I cleared my mind and approached his desk as Nova excused herself and left us alone, maybe for good. Ugh, why was I feeling jealous again?

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his face void of emotions, twirling his expensive and favorite pen between his fingers.

I smiled at him and placed the lunch box on his glass table, but my actions halted when he said, "I already ate lunch." I couldn't help but notice another lunch box on his table. Did he... no, Yuna, stop it. I cleared my throat, looking away from him, trying to control the hurt emotions that threatened to overflow and the tears that welled up in my eyes.

"Oh, is that so? Then I'll just go," I said, not giving him a chance to respond, and quickly walked away.

I heard him call my name, and I stopped, waiting for him to burst through the door and stop me from leaving, but he didn't. This was new. He had even neglected our planned dinner date last night and hadn't given me a valid reason for canceling. But, being the understanding wife that I am, I didn't pester him and simply supported him, assuming it was for business. He had changed. My consciousness whispered these words, but I laughed them off, trying to stop myself from overthinking.

.....

"C'mon, Yuna, are you really that naive?" My friend Ria said to me in disbelief. I hissed and looked down, finally letting my tears flow as I cried helplessly in her comforting embrace.

I had decided to meet my friend because I didn't know what to think anymore about my situation. I poured my heart out to her, explaining his behavior towards me and the signs that maybe he no longer loved me. My friend suggested that perhaps he had been using me all along and that he was only staying because of my late father.

My father and he were close business partners, and that's how I met and fell in love with him. When my father fell sick with cancer, he made him promise to take care of me and love me unconditionally. But now, it seemed like the man my father entrusted me to was drifting away from me.

"This is wrong, what he is doing is wrong, Yuna—what the hell?" Ria frowned at me, and suddenly our attention shifted to the television in the cafe. Not only my friend and I, but all the customers in the cafe turned their attention to the TV. I struggled to maintain consciousness, gripping my friend's hand tightly, even though I could hear her hiss in pain. Right now, I didn't care. My focus was solely on the TV screen.

The reporter flashed a sweet smile as she updated everyone on how Kim Taehyung, my husband, was caught by a paparazzi in one of the most luxurious hotels in Seoul, dating his fake wife, Nova. My heart shattered once again, for the millionth time. Maybe there was no heart left to be broken in me anymore, considering the immense pain I had endured since marrying this man who had promised the world to me. He had promised to protect, cherish, and love me, but they were all sweet lies thrown in my face just to make me his submissive wife.

I saw adoration and that wide, charming smile that had once made me fall in love with him, now directed towards the woman he held at the waist in the picture displayed on the television. The reporter smiled widely at the sweet display, and everyone watching seemed oblivious to how much it was breaking me. He had succeeded in breaking me. Kim Taehyung, aren't you done? What have I done to deserve being made a fool of? I only loved and still love you, but why?

What's even more heartbreaking is that just two hours ago, he had informed me that he had an important meeting with Mr. Jung. Little did I know that it was just an excuse for him to meet his secret lover behind my back. I understand that he claims to be using her as a way to deceive his rivals and make them believe she is his wife, but this is too much. It's no longer about that. I can feel it, strongly. He has been cheating on me right in front of my face all this time, and I am the foolish one who ignored all the signs.

Pathetic. That's what I am.

.....

Kim Taehyung walked in with his fake wife, Nova, by his side, basking in the glory of the cameras flashing and capturing their every move. He proudly gripped Nova's waist tightly, wearing a proud smile as they made their way through the doors of the ball. All eyes were on them as they entered, and Kim Taehyung reveled in the attention. The compliments and adoration thrown their way only fueled his arrogance.

He had it all - money, fame, looks, real estate, and more. But the most important thing to him was his perfect little wife waiting for him at home. Despite his recent avoidance of her, he claimed it wasn't because he had fallen out of love. No, it was something else, something he couldn't quite explain. He knew he would go insane if she ever walked away from his life. There was an addiction, a need that consumed him.

The reason for his distance from his wife was the presence of someone in his den, someone who was interfering with his life. He needed to be careful and find out who it was. He couldn't wait to put an end to their existence for making him stay away from his wife. The thought of shedding blood excited him, and his fingers itched for that feeling of thick liquid on his skin.

He needed to discover the identity of the person spying on him before they found out who his real wife was, the woman he had sworn to protect. There were already three people he and his right-hand man, Jungkook, suspected. He was waiting for them to make a wrong move.

Amidst his thoughts, Jungkook leaned in and whispered to him, his fake smile still plastered on his face. "Mr. Kim, some paparazzi have captured pictures of you and Nova leaving the meeting at Veroza and claim that you were on a date. I believe madame has already seen it."

Anger coursed through his veins, and he clenched his teeth in frustration, but he maintained a forced smile for the onlookers. "Is she at the mansion? Don't let her leave under any circumstances," Taehyung demanded through gritted teeth. He was already on thin ice with his wife, and he knew his recent ignorance towards her had caused her to overthink, especially after what happened in his office earlier. Although a sick part of him enjoyed seeing her jealous and then reassuring her with physical intimacy, he knew he needed to talk to her tonight. However, he wasn't sure if she would believe him if he explained that he was only there for the meeting. His mind was in turmoil.

"Boss, bad news. Madam hasn't returned home," Jungkook began, but before he could finish his sentence, Taehyung angrily stormed out of the ballroom, his eyes burning with rage. Jungkook followed closely behind, and the guests and everyone present witnessed the scene, leaving Nova feeling embarrassed and alone.

....

The two black sports cars raced through the busy streets of Seoul, disregarding traffic lights and causing chaos. Pedestrian officers and even the police were instructed to make way for the racing cars, as orders from higher authorities had come in to ensure their passage. The honking of the cars echoed through the streets, creating a sense of urgency and danger.

"Fucking track my wife this instance!" Taehyung's voice boomed through the earpiece, filled with anger and determination. His eyes burned with a murderous intensity as he accelerated, pushing the car to its limits.

"Jeon, you know what to do to that traitor. I will take care of

the lamb and my wife," he commanded through the earpiece, his voice laced with a deadly tone that instilled fear even in the young man who had worked for Kim Taehyung for many years. Nobody wanted to cross paths with Kim Taehyung if they valued their lives.

.....

The dark alleyway remained eerily silent, with the cold wind whispering chilling thoughts to anyone who dared to walk through this part of the street. It had gained a reputation as a place where numerous murders had taken place.

"Where's the money?" the tanned, imposing man asked, taking a drag from his cigarette. His red eyes indicated that he had just finished using drugs. The man with the hood scoffed and handed over the envelope containing the money. The tanned man grinned, satisfied that he was about to receive the payment he desired.

Suddenly, eerie and painful screams pierced through the dark alleyway. The tanned man's right hand, which had been intact just moments ago, was now blasted off. He fell to his knees, writhing in pain and clutching his mangled arm. His screams intensified when he saw his fingers scattered on the floor, blood splattered all around. The hooded man stood frozen, unable to move, as he stared at the once-arrogant tanned man now kneeling before him, his right hand obliterated.

An eerie, manic laugh echoed through the alleyway, accompanying the sound of approaching footsteps. The hooded man felt a shiver run down his spine as he turned away from the lifeless body on the ground to see someone in the distance. The figure walked slowly, deliberately, towards them, continuing to chuckle in a dark and unsettling manner. The moonlight briefly illuminated the man's face, causing the hooded man to gasp and step back, only to slip in the dark pool of blood from the tanned man. He found himself face to face with the man's severed arm.

As the figure continued to stalk towards him, the hooded man could hear a deep voice speaking through an earpiece. "Thanks, Jimin hyung. I'll take it from here," the voice said, followed by another chilling laugh directed at the hooded man's terrified expression. The figure crouched down in front of him, a sick smile on his face, and looked down at the lifeless body on the ground. The blood continued to flow from the man's severed arm, creating a macabre image akin to a faucet running.

"You should just mind your own business, young man," the man's deep, menacing voice echoed as he stared at the hooded man with madness in his eyes. The hooded man shook his head, wanting to plead for his life, but no words came out. He was too terrified by this man, this angel-faced monster who had just committed murder and laughed about it.

Before the hooded man could react, a knife sliced through his neck, catching him off guard. He choked on his own blood, desperately clutching his throat as blood gushed out. He tried to scream, but his cries were muffled as the mad man repeatedly pushed the knife into his mouth, silencing him. The man's famous boxy smile widened as he spoke.

"And these eyes too," he said with a sickening smile, proceeding to carve out the hooded man's lifeless eyes. Blood splattered everywhere, but the man only found amusement in the gruesome act. He continued his sadistic torture, chopping off the hooded man's hands, reveling in the pain he inflicted.

Once he was done with his never-ending torment, he stood up, his handsome face twisted with a wide smile. In the distance, a booming sound echoed, as if something had been obliterated in the faraway distance. The man laughed again upon hearing it. His earpiece buzzed, and he heard the voices of Jimin and Jungkook.

"Boss, it's done," they said.

A wide, chilling smile spread across the man's face as his eerie laugh resonated through the eerie alleyway, accompanied by the two lifeless bodies lying before him.

"Now, where are we again?" he asked himself, pretending as if he had done nothing wrong. "Ah, yes, to my beautiful runaway wife," he chuckled. "Time to bring her back home."

He walked away, humming an eerie tune, leaving behind a trail of darkness and terror.

.....

Jungkook and Jimin stood together, watching the burning building as firefighters and police worked to control the fire and keep civilians away. The cries of family members and fans of Nova, who were likely among the victims, filled the air. Jimin casually ate a burger, seemingly unfazed by the tragic scene unfolding before them.

"That man is really crazy for his wife, willing to burn the world and kill for her," Jimin commented between bites. Jungkook scoffed and looked up at the dark sky, now surrounded by thick smoke.

"May heaven help her escape his madness," Jungkook whispered, his voice filled with concern. Jimin overheard and laughed in response.

"I wish the same, but based on what that man has done, he's deeply obsessed with her," Jimin added before groaning and clutching his stomach. Jungkook raised an eyebrow, looking down at Jimin.

"What? Are the dead seeking revenge on you already?" Jungkook mockingly asked, bursting into laughter. Jimin shot him a deadly glare.

"Shut up," Jimin retorted.

After a while, both Jungkook and Jimin decided to leave the scene, leaving behind the aftermath of destruction and tragedy.

.....

Ria sighed sadly as she observed her sleeping friend in bed. Tears stained her cheeks, and her eyelashes were still wet from crying. Ria leaned against the doorframe, worried about her friend's future. She was broken by her husband's betrayal, and it had brought her to a state where she cried herself to sleep.

Suddenly, the sound of breaking glass interrupted Ria's thoughts, causing her eyes to widen. Was someone breaking into her house? She quickly ran to the kitchen, grabbing a knife and feeling her heart pound with adrenaline. She looked around the dark surroundings, then dashed back to the bedroom where her friend slept.

Locking the door, Ria didn't realize that the intruder would only laugh at the thought that it could stop him from getting what he wanted all along. Yuna stirred in her sleep and groaned as Ria shook her to wake her up. But when Yuna saw the fear on her friend's face, she immediately became uneasy and scared, sensing that something was wrong. Her eyes widened when she noticed the knife in Ria's hand.

Ria shook Yuna's shoulders, trying to get her attention. "There's someone in this house," Ria said, her voice trembling, which only made Yuna clutch the bedsheets tightly.

"What do you mean?" Yuna asked, still bewildered by the situation.

"Hush. There's someone who broke into my house," Ria replied, but before she could finish her sentence, someone banged on the door, causing both of them to scream.

The banging continued, and a scary, deep voice resonated from the other side of the door, a voice that both of them recognized all too well. "Open the door, babe," Taehyung's voice rang out, filled with anger. Yuna looked at Ria, shaking her head in fear. She had witnessed Taehyung's anger before, nearly seeing him beat a man who had flirted with her to the brink of death.

Ria gulped and hugged Yuna tightly, glaring at the door, which was seconds away from being forced open. When it finally burst open, Taehyung stood there, his heaving form and the darkness surrounding him instilling fear in Ria. But she remained strong for her friend, gripping the knife tighter.

Yuna shook her head, afraid to face her furious husband. Ria widened her eyes, finally taking notice of Taehyung's appearance. He was covered in blood, as if he had bathed in it before coming to find his next victim.

"Hand me over my wife now," Taehyung demanded, struggling to control his urge to harm the woman who had influenced his wife to leave him.

Ria stood her ground, gripping the knife tightly. "Stay away from her and leave this place! Or else, I will call the police!" Ria screamed, attempting to scare him away. But a cold fear ran through her spine when Taehyung only laughed and took short steps toward them.

"Busan, at xxx address," Taehyung said blankly, smirking at the terrified female. Ria's eyes widened, filled with horror. No, he wouldn't.

"Oh, I would," Taehyung said, seemingly reading her mind as he chuckled and stopped just an arm's length away from them.

"Don't touch them!" Ria suddenly screamed, causing Yuna to startle and look at Taehyung, making eye contact with him. He smirked, opening his arms as if inviting her to take them, but she shook her head, overwhelmed by fear at his appearance. She felt an urge to vomit.

"Now, wifey, come here, or else more people will be killed today, hm? Let's not make it worse," Taehyung taunted.

Yuna's eyes widened in fear, and she cried out loudly, trembling in terror. This man was a monster. How could he do this?

Ria stood there, paralyzed with fear, accidentally loosening her grip on the knife, which fell to the ground. She looked down in defeat. Her family's lives were on the line, and she felt powerless.

Taehyung saw this as an opportunity and grabbed his wife, who screamed and struggled to break free. Annoyed, he punched her in the face, gripping her hair and punching her again. Yuna lay unconscious after those two punches, and Taehyung sighed, picking her up.

Suddenly, Taehyung stopped in his tracks and looked back at Ria, who had remained quiet throughout the ordeal.

"If I were you, I would stay the fuck away and never come back," he threatened one last time before walking out of the house with a proud smirk on his face.

However, guilt flickered in his eyes when he noticed the bruise on his wife's beautiful face. He sighed again.

"This wouldn't have happened if you had just behaved,"

he mumbled to himself as he placed her in the backseat and drove away, taking his wife back to his cage, waiting for her. He was sure this time he wouldn't let her leave him again. He had gone crazy for a day when she left him, losing control in front of the party and the cameras that captured his every action and shared it with the media and his fans. It was all because of his wife. God, he didn't know what would happen if she managed to escape his grasp.

...

The guards quickly opened the giant gates as they saw the fast-approaching black car racing inside. The car came to a stop and parked perfectly in front of the gold and white mansion. Taehyung stepped out of the car, still dirty and disheveled, but his undeniable handsomeness remained. He ignored the wide-eyed gasps of the maids as he swiftly walked to their room, carrying his still unconscious wife.

After cleaning himself and his wife up, Taehyung stood on the balcony, puffing on his cigarette and closing his eyes. He chuckled at his thoughts, then glanced at his wife and the handcuffs binding her to the bed.

He left the room and made his way to his study, situated in a far corner of the mansion. Sitting down in the chair, he turned on the TV to watch the news about the still-burning building where he had been just hours ago. His name appeared on the screen, along with Nova's picture. He laughed as the reporter offered condolences to him and the woman's family, scoffing at their sympathy. He poured himself a glass of wine, smirking at the situation.

"You can come in," he said, and the people outside the door entered. They marveled at how he could sense their presence even without looking. Well, it was to be expected when there was always a paparazzi tailing him.

"Boss, we successfully eliminated all the people at that event," Jimin said, playing with his gun as he slumped on the couch, closing his eyes. He still felt the pain in his stomach after eating the burger from the event that they had blown up, killing everyone inside. Jungkook sat quietly at the far end of the couch, his face stoic.

...

Taehyung twirled the alcohol in his glass and looked up at the two. "I can see that," he smirked, his gaze shifting to the TV screen still displaying the burning building. The sight brought a creepy smirk to their lips. They had grown just as mad as their boss, even if they didn't admit it.

...

Yuna stirred in her sleep, attempting to soothe her aching jaw. But when she felt restraints on her hands, panic washed over her, and she let out a surprised yell upon realizing her wrists were handcuffed to the bed. "No! What is this?" she exclaimed, tugging on the restraints in a panic. Her fear intensified when a dark, dominating voice filled the room, though she couldn't see its source due to the darkness.

"You really think you can escape from me, my love?" the voice asked, madness swirling in its eyes as it looked at Yuna, his prized possession, who began to cry.

"Since the day you married me, you have become mine, forever tied to me whether you like it or not," the voice continued. It stood up and slowly crawled onto the bed, causing Yuna's panic to escalate. She cried out in fear as the figure loomed over her, kissing her cleavage and neck. It was then that she realized she was only in her undergarments, making her feel vulnerable.

"Stop!" Yuna yelled, but her voice was muffled by the sudden, harsh kiss that silenced her. Her husband devoured her lips as if it was his last.

Yuna spent the entire night crying helplessly as her own husband forced himself on her, claiming it was an act of love and asserting his ownership. But for her, it felt like he was raping her soul. She hated herself for being powerless, unable to stop the repeated assaults. As exhaustion overwhelmed her, and she teetered on the edge of consciousness, she heard him whisper in a dark, chilling tone, "You are mine, forever and ever, and no one can change that." He devoured her lips once more before darkness claimed her completely.

#yandere taehyung #bts v #bts #bangtan #kim taehyung #bts ot7 #jeon jungkook #possessive #psychopath #taehyung vante #love #obsession #jimin #yandere bts #taehyung yandere #angst

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writing-with-sophia · 10 months

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Dialogues

Sad:

"I never thought I would end up alone, but here I am, drowning in loneliness."

"Sometimes the hardest part is pretending to be happy when all you want to do is cry."

"I trusted you with my heart, and you shattered it into a million irreparable pieces."

"The pain of losing you is unbearable. I can still hear your voice echoing in my mind."

"I thought we had forever, but forever turned out to be just a fleeting moment."

"I miss the person I used to be before life broke me."

"I wake up every morning hoping to find a reason to smile, but all I find is emptiness."

"I gave you my all, and you left me with nothing but a broken heart."

"In the end, all we had were shattered dreams and unspoken words."

"Sometimes, the saddest stories are the ones that are left untold."

"I built my world around you, only to watch it crumble to ashes."

"The tears I cry in solitude speak volumes of the pain I carry within."

"Love has become a bittersweet memory, a reminder of what could have been."

"I was once a flame, but now I am nothing more than a flickering ember."

"The silence between us is deafening, drowning out the love we once shared."

"I thought I knew what happiness was, but it slipped through my fingers like sand."

"The ache in my heart is a constant reminder of the love I lost."

"We were two broken souls, trying to heal each other, but instead, we only caused more pain."

"I am a prisoner of my own emotions, trapped in a never-ending cycle of sadness."

"The world keeps moving forward, but my heart remains stuck in the past."

"I long for a love that will never fade, for a connection that will never be severed."

"I thought I had found my forever, but forever turned out to be temporary."

"Every goodbye feels like a small death, a part of me fading away."

"The nights are the hardest, when the darkness matches the emptiness within my soul."

"The weight of my regrets is suffocating, a constant reminder of my failures."

"I am tired of pretending that I'm okay when all I want to do is fall apart."

"I used to believe in happy endings, but now I question if they exist at all."

"I am drowning in a sea of sadness, desperately searching for a lifeline."

"The world feels colorless, as if all the joy has been drained from my existence."

"I am surrounded by people, yet I have never felt more alone."

Happy:

"I can't believe we made it! Against all odds, we've achieved our dream."

"You make me feel like the luckiest person in the world, just by being by my side."

"This moment right here, with you, is pure bliss. I never want it to end."

"Remember when we used to dream about this? Now, it's a reality!"

"The world is full of possibilities, and together, we can conquer them all."

"Every time I see your smile, I'm reminded of how beautiful life can be."

"Today, I choose happiness, and I choose you to be a part of it."

"No matter what challenges we face, we'll overcome them together, hand in hand."

"I never thought I could feel this much joy until you came into my life."

"In your embrace, I've found my safe haven, my own little piece of paradise."

"Just being with you makes even the simplest moments feel extraordinary."

"Life is a journey, and I'm grateful to have you as my favorite travel companion."

"You are the sunshine that brightens my darkest days. Thank you for being here."

"Let's dance like nobody's watching and savor every beat of this magical rhythm."

"I believe in us, in our love story. Our future is filled with endless happiness."

"With you, even the ordinary becomes extraordinary. Every day is an adventure."

"Love is the melody that fills our hearts, creating a symphony of pure joy."

"You complete me in ways I never knew were possible. Together, we are whole."

"The world may be chaotic, but in your arms, I find peace and tranquility."

"Let's chase our dreams fearlessly, for I know that with you, anything is possible."

"Life's challenges may come our way, but our love will always light the path ahead."

"I can't help but smile when I think about our future together. It's filled with endless possibilities."

"Every time I look into your eyes, I see a reflection of our love, and it fills me with pure happiness."

"You are my greatest cheerleader, always encouraging me to reach for the stars. I'm grateful for your unwavering support."

"In this journey called life, I'm grateful to have you as my partner, my best friend, and the love of my life."

"Together, we create a world that is filled with laughter, joy, and unconditional love."

"Thank you for loving me just the way I am. Your acceptance and love bring me boundless happiness."

"Let's celebrate every milestone, big or small, with laughter, hugs, and a toast to our beautiful journey."

"With you, I've found my happy place. It's not a location but a feeling, and it's with you wherever we go."

"The greatest adventure is loving you, and I'm excited to see where our love story takes us next."

Angry:

"I refuse to be treated like this. From now on, things are going to change, whether you like it or not."

"You've underestimated me for the last time. I'm about to show you just how strong I can be."

"You think you can just get away with everything? Well, I won't let you destroy me any longer."

"You've taken advantage of my kindness for far too long. Prepare to face my wrath."

"I won't stand by and let you manipulate everyone around you. Your games end here."

"You've hurt not only me but also everyone who cared about us. I won't let you get away with it."

"You've awakened a fire within me, and I promise you, it's a fire you won't be able to extinguish."

"You've shown me your true colors, and I'm disgusted by what I see. I want nothing to do with you anymore."

"Your actions have consequences, and I'm going to make sure you pay for what you've done."

"You think I'm weak? Well, get ready to witness the strength that comes from being pushed too far."

"I'm not going to let you ruin my life any longer. I'm taking back control, starting right now."

"You've broken my heart, and now you're going to feel the weight of my anger."

"You've manipulated everyone around you, but I see through your facade. Your reign of deception ends now."

"You've caused so much pain and destruction. I won't rest until justice is served."

"You thought you could destroy me, but you've only made me stronger. Brace yourself."

"I'm done playing nice. It's time for you to face the consequences of your selfish actions."

"You've pushed me to my limit, and now you're going to see just how fierce I can be."

"You've underestimated my resilience. I won't let you break me. I'll rise above it all."

"You've shown your true colors, and I'm cutting you out of my life for good."

"You've hurt the people I love, and for that, I'll make sure you regret it."

"You've betrayed my trust, and trust me, you'll regret the day you crossed me."

"You've played your games for far too long. Now it's my turn to play, and I guarantee you won't like the outcome."

"I can't believe you betrayed me like this! After everything we've been through!"

"You think you can just walk all over me? Well, think again because I'm done being your doormat."

"You've crossed the line, and now you're going to face the consequences of your actions."

"I trusted you, and you shattered that trust into a million pieces. I'll never forgive you."

"Don't you dare try to justify your behavior. There's no excuse for what you've done."

"I'm sick and tired of your lies and deceit. It's time for me to walk away for good."

"You've pushed me too far, and now you're going to see a side of me you never wanted to witness."

"You've hurt me in ways I never thought possible. I hope you're happy with yourself."

Fear:

"The thought of losing control terrifies me. I'm afraid of the chaos that could ensue."

"I fear the consequences of my actions, of making the wrong choices. It keeps me awake at night."

"The fear of rejection stifles me. It makes me question my worth and keeps me from pursuing my dreams."

"I'm afraid of the monsters that dwell within me, the darkness that threatens to consume my soul."

"The fear of being vulnerable, of opening myself up to hurt, is overwhelming. It makes me want to retreat."

"I'm afraid of the past catching up with me, of the mistakes I've made coming back to haunt me."

"The fear of losing my loved ones keeps me up at night. I can't bear the thought of life without them."

"I'm afraid of losing myself, of not recognizing the person I've become. It fills me with terror."

"The fear of failure is like a constant weight on my shoulders. It makes me question my every move."

"I'm afraid of being forgotten, of fading into oblivion. The thought of being insignificant petrifies me."

"The fear of the supernatural, of things beyond our understanding, sends chills down my spine."

"I'm afraid of the future, of the uncertainty that lies ahead. It makes me question if I'll be able to cope."

"The fear of being judged, of not living up to others' expectations, is crippling. It stifles my true self."

"I'm afraid of losing my sanity, of the dark thoughts that haunt my mind. It's a constant battle within."

"The fear of losing control over my own life terrifies me. It feels like walking on a tightrope, one misstep away from disaster."

"I can't shake this feeling of impending doom. Something is not right."

"The darkness is closing in on me, and I feel paralyzed with fear."

"I'm terrified of what lies ahead. The unknown is haunting my every thought."

"I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I'm being watched."

"Every step I take is filled with trepidation. I'm afraid of what might be lurking in the shadows."

"My heart is racing, and my palms are sweaty. I'm consumed by a sense of dread."

"I fear that if I let my guard down, I'll be swallowed whole by the horrors that await."

"The fear of failure is suffocating me. It's paralyzing my every move."

"I'm afraid of losing everything I hold dear. The thought terrifies me to my core."

"The nightmares haunt me even when I'm awake. I can't escape the grip of fear."

"I'm afraid of being alone, of being forgotten by the world. It petrifies me."

"Every creak and whisper sends shivers down my spine. I'm on edge, afraid of what's lurking in the darkness."

"My mind is filled with irrational fears, consuming my every thought. I can't escape them."

"The fear of the unknown is paralyzing. I'm afraid of what I can't see or understand."

"I'm afraid of taking risks, of stepping outside my comfort zone. The fear holds me back."

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ravenlking · 1 year

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𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐔𝐒, 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍

𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐔𝐒 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐀 "Where you go, I’m going, so jump and I’m jumping Since there is no me without you"

gender-neutral warnings: s*icide genre: angst a/n: - inspiration from the recent malleus groovy and also the song, achilles come down - the banner belongs to me, but the pictures are from the official manga! please do not steal! - please give me feedback :)

Let me know if you'd like more!

He doesn't know how long he's been here. It could be days, weeks, months, or even years; time seems to pass by in a blur, like a train ride. Only Malleus wasn't on it. He was simply watching the train with blank stares and a hazy fog over his mind, baring him from thinking straight.

Malleus stares from his spot on Ramshackle's shabby roof, staring aimlessly into the faraway distance of Night Raven College. His arm is fisted; his sharp nails could almost cut crescent scars into his hands. His bottom stings from the rough edges of the rubble and decaying thorny vibes embracing Ramshackle's rooftop. Still, Malleus doesn't falter.

"I thought I might find you here."

Malleus ignores his guardian who grunts as he takes a seat next to Malleus. Lilia sighs and too, joins Malleus in staring at the slowly setting sun. It painted the skies in shades of cerulean blue, coral orange, neon pink, like a mini rainbow against the calm, light blue sky.

They were in a sort of silence, in between awkward and comfortable. Neither party wanted to break the peaceful ambiance, too afraid that once they broke the bubble, there would be no more turning back.

"Lilia," Malleus finally croaks out, not realizing how parched his throat was from weeks of radio silence. He stands up, unafraid of the cracks and holes that slowly began to rupture, like a spiderweb slowly unfolding. "Do you truly not notice?"

Lilia sighs, his youthful face finally matching his age. "I noticed, young Malleus. The lack of magic. You were always quite reckless. Impulsive."

Malleus hums.

"You always knew my next step. But, do you truly not notice?"

Lilia stands up as well, holding out a hand to Malleus.

"Malleus, come down. Ramshackle isn't safe-"

"-Of course it is!" He cuts him, too lost in his memories. "The many dawns and dusks I have spent with my lover, wandering across the roofs and admiring the gargoyles; the roof is nothing but sturdy!"

"That was years ago, Malleus," Lilia looks at him pleadingly. "Malleus, come down. We can talk when you're level-headed, more sensible."

Slowly, but surely, a chuckle escapes Malleus's lips. Lilia stares at him, frozen, as Malleus steps backward, laughing madly.

"They left me," He finally speaks. "My lover, my treasure, my reason to live, they left me! Why should I continue living this miserable, wretched life without them?"

Lilia stares at him with such pitiful eyes.

"They no longer exist in this realm," Malleus hissed out. "I cannot feel their soul anymore. It used to linger everywhere; the corners where we giggled and hid from Sebek and Silver, the bedroom where we would slumber hours after the rising sun, the memories and jewelry they gave to me with that beautiful smile on their face."

His face crumbles. "But time passed on. Their essence seem to fade with each passing day. Do you know how much it pains me? To be immortal, to watch as the world caves in around me?!"

Lilia opens his mouth to speak but Malleus shook his head.

"What do you know? You never experienced love."

"You think I don't?" Lilia hissed out. "I lost countless friends and comrades in the war, Malleus. Don't think that you can talk me down like this, I am your guardian-"

"YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT FEELS!" Malleus cries out. He thumps a hand over his heart. "Do you know how much my heart shattered? I had to watch as my lover die in front of my eyes. The shield and wall gluing my heart together broke, my heart falling into a million pieces, and I could do nothing but watch as the light fades out of your eyes."

He steps forward, towering over Lilia's petite frame. Lilia could see something change, something absolute settle in Malleus's emerald irises before the fae heir chuckles bitterly.

"If I can't have them in this life," Malleus raises his foot and Lilia was frozen. Of course, how could he not realize? This area was the center of the roof, the area with the least stability. "I will find them in the next. Whatever it takes."

He stomps his foot down, shattering the roof. Lilia instinctively floats himself but was too late. A desperate cry tear out from his lips as he tries to catch Malleus, but doesn't succeed. His fingers brush lightly before Malleus escapes his reach.

"MALLEUS!"

Malleus Draconia falls; a minuscule smile on his lips as he falls in slow-motion. Around him, Ramshackle crumbles, ashes falling and creating a halo around the fallen heir. He feels agonizing pain flaring in his abdomen, hazing eyes staring at the shard that pierced his flesh and bone. Crimson blood spurts from the wound; it felt like an inferno or lava burning him from the inside out.

He laughs weakly.

'How ironic,' Malleus thinks to himself. He faintly remembers one of the fairytales you told him about, back in your world. Back when the days were lighter, more enjoyable, time having not ripped you from his hands yet. 'Oh how the tables have turned.'

"When the princess dragon fae pricks herself himself on an enchanted needle, she he shall be cursed to fall asleep. Forever."

#malleus draconia #diasomnia #malleus x reader #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland oneshots #twisted wonderland imagines #malleus angst #twst malleus #lilia vanrouge #twst lilia

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countessofwisdom · 11 months

Text

I Don't Think It Could Ever Be You

TGCF (Heaven Official's Blessing) Spoilers

A post-Black Water Arc conversation. Angst. Little to no plot, just a scene. (WC: 852)

***

Shi Qingxuan never meets his eyes. "I just think... whatever affections I held for you all those centuries, it died that day."

His eyes narrow. "Your 'affections' then, must have been so fickle."

"Maybe it was," he replies too quickly, remiss of the knife he has grazed on someone's skin, "or maybe I just realized that day that I didn't know who these affections belonged to."

Shi Qingxuan has always treated the word love like a word meant to be given, or it is human nature to say 'I love you'. He gave it to his brother, his drinking buddies, to lost souls, and helpless devotees.

He also remembers giving them to a certain god.

"...maybe it's not fickle. Perhaps, I still hold these affections. Not towards you, but the man you pretended to be."

His fist clenches. "Ming Yi is long dead."

"But you revived him, didn't you? You took his name, his appearance, and you stepped on the heavenly capital wearing his shoes. The footprints you left were his," his words seeped with contained venom. Yet, a sliver shows crumbling composure—revealing a tiny child within that wailed and thrashed, begging for his brother back.

You took my name, my fate, and you might as well have ripped my limbs off my body. My fate is not yours, it is mine, he once yelled to a statue a million years ago.

An uncomfortable sense of dread creeps up and He Xuan does not know if it is a mutual feeling. Shi Qingxuan's eyes are devoid of the light it once had, unwilling to tell. Every word created invisible rifts and insurmountable walls between them.

Suddenly, he does not want to know, for something tells him that it is not.

"It was just a name," is the response he settles for.

It was just some clothes. It was just a face. It was just some mannerisms he borrowed.

But it has always been him.

Especially, when all Shi Qingxuan sees in him are truths he wishes he could turn a blind eye to.

Shi Qingxuan shakes his head. "It was Ming-xiong who I saw all these years, I just... I don't… even if I know it's you now, it doesn't erase his name from my memories. Even more, I can't replace his name with yours just like that. Especially…"

His throat yearns for the bitterness of wine whenever he thinks of him. He wants the dizziness and dopamine, if that is all the reprieve he is going to get. Ming-xiong could have been his drinking companion but he was dead, and He Xuan was a stranger who murdered the only person he could lean on.

No matter what, Ming Yi (the one he knew, at least) and He Xuan are oil and water. It tears him into a million pieces to see their silhouettes settle in on a single shadow. He wants to pretend that, somehow, all those years, his affections were received by a person he knew, and not the person he thought he knew.

Black Water then continues against his better mind, "Then if I had told you my real name that day we met, and If I told you who I really was, would it have been…" possible?

Could you have chosen me?

No, his mind quickly reprimands him. He would never choose you.

But at least, he hoped, that even if he didn't choose him in the end, Shi Qingxuan would have hesitated not choosing him for one second. For even a split second, he was his choice.

But the deafening silence that follows tells him a plethora of things he wishes he could cover his ears to.

It told him of Shi Qingxuan's hesitance; maybe he found his question ridiculous (it truly was), maybe he is already cursing him to death, plotting his vengeance. That would have been better. But gods, Shi Qingxuan chooses to bear the guilt of his brother's sin and he hates it.

The silence resettled him to the world they roamed. The rushing river holds memories of pasts that could not be reversed. The wind fluttering along with his hair ever so gently sends shivers down his spine. It reminds him of the reality he has to face.

Everything is real.

He really killed Shi Qingxuan's brother/The Water Tyrant and he does not regret it.

Or does he?

He does not, doesn't he? How could he regret it?

He is hurting. At the same time, he has never been so relieved, like a thousand voices inside his head finally went silent.

Fury drove him into doing what he did, fury sparked by the death of his family and his humanity that demanded justice, but he also did it to alleviate pain—to make living bearable. He thought the pain would dissipate as easily as taking a god's life.

…he doesn't know what's right or wrong anymore.

After what seemed like a million years, Shi Qingxuan speaks.

"He Xuan..."

This first time he says death's name.

"I'm sorry…"

And the last heartbreak he gives him.

"I don't think it could ever be you."

#tgcf beefleaf #tgcf spoilers #beefleaf #xuanxuan #tgcf novel #heaven official's blessing #shi qingxuan #he xuan #ming yi #black water arc #tgcf fanfic #tgcf #black water sinking ships #why is tagging so hard #tgcf imagines #heaven official’s blessing

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silverhallow · 10 months

Note

19-"Do you believe that?"

Tears fell down Sophie’s face, sitting in the middle of a field, staring out over a lake, her heart felt like it was broken into a million pieces.

Heartbreak, deception, it had been coming and she’d been foolish enough to think he was different, that he actually loved her.

If she hadn’t seen it with her own eyes she would not have believed it. She’d not believed Rosamund when she said she was going to steal him from her, that she was nothing, that she’d come from nothing, her parents weren’t married, she was a bastard. Rosamund spent the last 5 years telling her she was only part of the school because her father felt sorry for her.

First she’d lost her father 6 months ago and now she’d lost her boyfriend. The one person who had shown Sophie what she thought love was. The one person she had been so sure loved her…

But then she’d seen him pressed up against Rosamund’s locker, Rosamund’s lips attached to his…

She’d not even stopped when she heard his cries of her name, she’d ran out, she’d turned on her worn converse and ran as quickly as her little legs would carry her.

She was small, she was quick, she found running easy and so she’d just kept going. Out of the sixth form grounds, tears falling down her face, as her heart shattered, her world falling apart.

Everyone left her in the end. It was what Araminta had always told her and now it was coming true.

Her father had died and they were still trying to locate his Will so until it was found she was stuck with her step-mother.

Eventually her legs started to hurt, her lungs were burning and the need to sob hit her like a truck and she crumbled to the floor.

The soft grass cushioned her fall and she curled into a ball and pressed her head into her knees as she sobbed.

“Sophie…” came an out of breath sigh, about 10 minutes later.

Sophie didn’t even need to look up to know who it was, “go away Ben. I don’t want to talk to you” she replied, each word a heartbroken sob.

“No, you need to listen to me, it’s not what it looked like!” he pleaded, his voice getting closer. He’d placed his hands on his hips as he wheezed.

He was not a runner, he was a rower, he’d lost her for a bit but knowing the direction she was running, he knew where she was going.

This was their spot. He’d seen her crumble, and he felt horrible. He’d not been anticipating Rosamund pouncing on him.

He’d been walking down to meet her, with the news that his Uncle had found her father’s Will, he’d been almost giddy, he had no idea of the contents but the fact it had been found meant she’d be able to find out if she was stuck with Araminta or if she’d be free of her wicked step-mother once and for all.

But as he walked past Rosamund and her friends, she’d grabbed his arm, and before Benedict had a chance to do anything, before he’d even realised that Sophie was there, Rosamund had pulled her into him, he’d lost his balance and his hands fell either side of her locker as she’d wrapped herself so tightly around him he’d not been able to escape until he’d heard the scream, followed by the sob and he knew what was going on.

He’d shoved Rosamund hard, Kate had seen the entire thing happening and promised to take care of the bitch as he ran after his girlfriend.

It’d nearly broken him, he knew how much that would have hurt Sophie seeing that. Knowing her for as long as they had, being best friends before they’d taken the leap and given in to their feelings for one another, knowing her past…

He knew her better than any other soul alive and he knew… he knew how much this would have hurt her and it was why he’d gone running after her. Determined that he’d not let her run away, not let her shut him out. That he would explain.

Once he was there, he panted her name and the way she told him to go away nearly broke him, nearly caused him to break down in tears himself.

“It’s not what it looked like?!” she’d screeched at him, “it looked like you were kissing my step-sister! In front of the entire school, Ben!!!”

“I wasn’t kissing her! She grabbed me! She grabbed me as I was coming to meet you! I’d nipped into Art this morning, Kate and I went to hand in our project as we didn’t want to carry it around the school all morning! Kate will tell you! Rosamund grabbed me, i lost my balance and before I knew what was happening her lips were on mine and she’d wrapped me up so tight I was trying to wriggle free but it wasn’t happening… I didn’t want to kiss her, she’s literally the last person in the entire school I want to kiss” Benedict said passionately

Sophie shook her head “Rosa told me she was going to take you from me… that you’d go… that you were just using me to get to her…”

“Do you believe that?”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore! I never thought you’d cheat on me!” Sophie sobbed

“Sophie… I… I didn’t… she ambushed me. You are the one that I love, you are the one I want to be with, the only one that I want to be with… i’d rather cut my cock off than be with her. She’s jealous of you. She’s always been jealous of you. You’re beautiful, you’re kind and clever and she’s got to sleep with people to get her homework done, she tried to sleep with Professor Livingstone to get her english grades changed…”

“She… she…”

“Henry told me when he’d overheard it all, but Sophie… Please believe me, you are the only girl for me. You are the one who has my heart, you’ve only ever had my heart, from aged 13 you’ve been the one I wanted. You’re the one I want to build a life with. You’re the one I can’t wait to go to Uni with, getting our own place, growing older together, getting married, getting a dog, having babies. I want it all Soph and you’re the only one I want it with… not her.” he said

“But… i saw… she…”

“I know what you saw and I can’t take that away, I wish I could but I did not kiss her, I wedged my lips shut. Kate was going to kick her arse whilst I was coming after you… Rosamund has exploited your weakness, the things that upset you, your worst fears, her and her vile mother have done nothing but tried to make your life miserable and even more so since your father died… but I love you Sophie. They can’t change that. They’re never going to be able to change that. Even if you wish to never see me again, if you want me to go away and leave you alone, it won’t stop me loving you.” he said passionately.

“You… you really didn’t?”

“No. I swear down on my star wars collection that it was unwanted attention, I was coming to meet you, I was coming to see you so we could go to English together, as usual. If I hadn’t gone to Art with Kate none of this would have happened, it was just… bad timing and she’s obviously been waiting for a moment like this… but i promise… it was unwanted attention, the moment she heard you scream she let up and I was off her, and running after you… Kate promised to sort it out, she will back me up. I promise” he explained, begging her to understand and hoping beyond hope that she’d believe him.

Sophie sniffed and lifted her head and looked at him for the first time, her green eyes red and puffy. She looked at him, taking in his face, wanting to see if he was telling the truth, wanting to see the truth in his eyes, she knew his face and knew when he was lying, when he was telling the truth and as she looked into his blue eyes, she saw the truth, the hurt she could see, the pain that he was going through because of the pain she was going through, and she knew he was telling the truth “i… I believe you” she said softly.

Benedict let out a sigh and moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly, “thank you. It won’t ever happen again. I promise, i’m going nowhere near that girl, English is the only class we share with her so you will be by my side, she’s a leech, and I promise I'm not going within 100 feet of her.”

Sophie sighed into him “that’s a bit excessive but if Kate’s been left to sort it… i’m sure Rosa won’t go anywhere near her but going home tonight is going to suck…”

“Come to mine, Mum will love to see you as will the girls, and Uncle George rang last night, he’s located your dad’s Will, you can see him tonight about it” Benedict said

“It’s been found?”

“It has, so come back to mine after school, and maybe we can find out that you can be rid of the witch once and for all” Benedict said hopefully.

“That would be nice” she replied as she rested her head on Benedict’s shoulders, letting herself enjoy his warmth and his touch. It had been an emotional morning, it would be an emotional evening but right now, she just wanted to feel safe in the arms of the man she loved.

#bridgerton #benedict bridgerton #sophie beckett #benophie #benophie drabble #benedict x sophie #benedict bridgerton fanfiction #Sophie beckett fan fiction #ash’s drabbles

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i-love-jay-walker · 9 months

Text

Jaya Week 2023

I wasn't gonna post any of my fics from Jaya Week on tumblr, besides the original link, but I'll be honest, I think this is the only good thing I've written in a while. So if you're interested in reading some Jaya stuff, here you go! I hope you enjoy!

You can also read it under here:

Promise

The first time his hand held hers, he felt delighted. He swore he felt his heart explode with a million butterflies, filling up his stomach and crowding his mind. He could hardly think, seeing nothing but the beautiful butterflies, whispering promises of love to come.

The first time they kissed, he felt ecstatic. Not only from his true potential, but from the unspoken promise of something more. The low zimmer of currents in his blood, whispering and polluting his mind, promising so much.

The first time he saw her with Cole, he felt resentment. An unspoken promise had been broken. It had been taken, bent it till it broke, shattering to pieces much like his broken heart. The whispers had fallen silent, a dying hope of something better no longer promised.

The first time they went out again, he had felt uncertain. He had spent so long, picking up the pieces of his heart, slowly glueing the bits and pieces together. It wasn’t easy, seeing how both her and Cole had pieces of it stuck to them, to their bodies, their souls and their clothes. He wasn’t sure he could ever truly repair it, so he kept it to himself, not letting her touch his mangled heart. A promise to himself to not trust again, to not let his heart shatter any further. The whispers fell on deaf ears as he cradled his crumbled heart.

The first time he lost her, he felt misery. His marred heart crackled, the old cracks splitting open, letting the love he’d carefully hidden away oozing out. It smelled foul and putrid, something no one was deserving of. It was ugly and vile, having been stowed up with molded hatred and jealousy. He carefully tried to tape up the bits, hoping no one would see the revolting, broken heart spilling out all of his anguish. The muck had yearned for a girl no longer there, yearned for a love it could never have. It whispered for a promise that was too late.

The first time he held out his defective heart, he felt hesitant. Her gentle hands caressed the stitched up soul, slowly warming it up. She had sat down, gently pulling out each ragged thread, dissolving the clumped up glue. She cleaned and polished each tiny piece, displaying them in front her. Baring his soul and heart to herself and he let her. He would always let her. She slowly began rebuilding the bond, adding each small, polished piece by piece. She gave him back the remains she’d stolen, the bits shiny and well cared for. In the end, his fractured heart was mending as she cradled the bond, gentle and caring. The whispers of a promise to return, to care and to help. To never be alone again.

The second time he lost her, he felt despair. His restored heart shattering in impossibly many pieces, his mind going with it. He sprawled on the floor, reaching for pieces that seemed endlessly far away, pieces that would scatter farther off with each reach. He heard the cry of his broken soul, the million pieces mourning a loss he didn’t know how to handle. He scooped up the pieces he could, cradling the memory of a lost love. He rocked it gently, hoping if he put his weeping heart to sleep, maybe the pain would leave him alone. He cried along with his wailing soul, his tears showering the memories he had cherished, the imagery of a girl he’d loved. The whispers were howling, a sobbing promise to never let go, a tearful promise to never forget.

The second time he held out his defective heart, he felt relieved. Her hands, as gentle as he remembered, cradled and kissed his shattered heart. She helped him put it back together, gently kissing each jagged shard before stitching them up. His misshapen heart may not be a pleasant glance, but to him it meant everything. It whispered promises of love, promises of care and promises of never being alone. It was a repulsive heart, one only one person could love. And that she did. Every night she cradled his heart, kissing and polishing every crack and rift. She promised to take care of the repelling soul, the one she loved so dearly. She promised that to her, the grotesque heart was beautiful.

#lego ninjago #ninjago #ninjago jay #jay walker #ninjago nya #ninjago jaya #jaya #jaya week 2023 #jayaweek2023 #jaya fanfiction

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lost-on-t-umblr · 2 years

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I've been trying to learn how to cherish the time spent with you, your smile and your company, your voice and your endearing vices, your mind and your eyes, without hurting when you are away, when I can't witness any of it. It's a fragile process, I think - a delicate honing of an unreined intensity of feeling. How do you bridle the unconditional, without letting it die? Doesn't it lose its very essence? But how could it be left living in a crumbling temple, that's consumed by the energy of its host's anarchic power? That's me, I'm slowly falling to pieces. They're as fine as sand, one by one by one grain falling at a time. If too tight will be the restraining hold of the reins, then may it bite them off and go free. I hope, when I'll fall out of love with you, that I'll go searching for your face in a million souls, that I'll look for love again and tell it: Look, I am in perfect shape. We lost each other so I could breathe and you could go free. Time has passed, but your temple didn't go to ruin. Time has passed, but you didn't get strangled by daily agony. Take me as your vessel, be my host once again. Let's go look for her.

#DNI #:)#ouch #bookmark #idk what this is; I just wanted to write

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its-my-whump · 7 months

Text

Whumptober 27+28+29

No. 27: “You drew stars around my scars; But now I’m bleeding.” - Scars | “Let me see”

No. 28: Bloody Knife

No. 29: “I only sink deeper the deeper I think." - Troubled Past Resurfacing | “What happened to me?”

Hummingbird 27+28+29

Part 3 of 3

It's even getting much darker from here on out. Please watch yourselves. There is and will be emotional whump, despair, self-doubt, self-inflicted wounds and gore.

Story starts here / previous

...

A feeling so painfully sharp and devastating, that it felt like his heart being actually impaled, just shook him. Maybe, he even didn't deserve Grey's caring. Maybe, him being on this earth was just a big interdimentional error.

Something died inside of him. Sam felt the last of emotional warmth and hope leaving him. Being all alone in the world really wasn't something new. Now realising, that this freak must have been watching his everyday move for more than 3 years and godknows how long in his childhood, was unsettling, but scarily it wasn't as bad as his sudden awareness, that he wasn't supposed to roam this world at all.

Maybe being constantly drugged over weeks on end, had finally fucked up his brain completely and had crumbled his last defenceline to be able to keep it together.

Sam wasn't afraid anymore. He wasn't feeling anything anymore all of a sudden. By all that had happened to him, was forced upon him, by everything, that he had to endure over years and years, he never was so extremely convinced to just give up.

There was an awkward silence. Everything Grey had thrown at him was pilling up on his broken soul and about to crush him for good. He leaned to the side and just puked all over the nice handcrafted carpet under his feet.

All strength had abanded him with the last part of his broken heart shattered into a million pieces, that couldn't possibly ever be restored. The knife slipped out of his hand and his left grabbed for the edge of the table so he wouldn't fall off his chair, while his stomach still violently protested.

Montys eyes went wide, when he realised the amount of blood on Sam's hand, seeping into the white fabrik of the tablecloth. Sam only slowly leaned back up. After whipping his mouth with a napkin, he pushed his half eaten lunch away and nested his head in his hands, smearing blood into his own hair. Finally the sting in his hand had developed into stirring pain, that was bad enough to make it through to his muffed mind. He pulled his hand away from his face and stared at thick red welding out of his palm, not able to make the connecting, how it got there or, that it was his blood, freely flowing.

Monty...Grey was by his left side all of a sudden. Worry in his eyes, shock clearly written into his facial expression. “Let me see.”

Sam wanted to pull away, but he was too groggy. Mental exhaustion was taking its toll on him. Grey easily took hold of his hand and inspected his self-inficted wound nervously.

"Let's get you patched up, hummingbird." Sam let himself be escorted towards 'his' room. He didn't care for Grey touching him for once, he didn't even care for being called a little fragile bird. Maybe he was.

Sam reall just didn't care anymore. Probably all this was the universe just correcting a fatal error, him.

...

Minutes passed without any if them saying a word. Sam felt quizzy, couldn't take the awkward silence any longer, while he was laying on the bed, being taken care of.

"Anything in your private practice you can't offer, Doc Monty." 'Damn, that bastard had drugged him up again.' Sam instantly realised as the slurred words found a way out of his mouth.

"I guess by heart surgery and blood transfusion I'll have to pass, but besides that, there are hardly any limitations for me to take care of you. I upgraded from being a pedriatrist, y'know." Monty blinked, fixating the bandage on his hand, but Sam hardly registered anymore, his eyes were closing already.

"What, u.. wouldn't give ..ur blood, if nes..ss..ry. Should I be of..fended?" Sam pushed out a humorless laugh. He had no idea, why he was talking to Grey at all.

"Oh, I would, you should know that by now. But unfortunately you got O- and I got AB+. In case of an emergency that is actually good for me, but bad for you. So don't..."

Whatever it was Grey-Monty-Fuckface had to add, didn't reach Sam's attention anymore. His own thought, how that man could have known of his bloodtyp just vanished into a 'never mind' inside his head in a blink of an eyes. Sam had drifted off into soothing, dreamless and numbing darkness, that was catching him with open arms.

TBC

Hummingbird masterlist

@whumptober-archive

#whumptober 2023 #no.27 #no.28 #no.29 #lyric #oc #emotional whump tw #hummingbird #whump #writing #whump writing #whumptober2023

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uniquemummy2 · 1 year

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Hey gus,

I'm sorry i have been so quite, These past few months have been so difficult, I have needed to take time away, My mental health and physical health has been declining and I haven't been able to deal with it. Im young and have 2 young children who depend on me. I battle with my mental health and my physical health everyday and have done for years and I have days where this is breaking me. Well these few months it broke me and its broke me for longer then i wanted. This is a battle that is hard and i know i am strong and i will always come out the other side, i fight these battles on my own as I don't want others to feel or have to think they need to fight my battle that i have to go against every day. People really need to understand the impact of mental health more, the impact it has on someone, the fact that to much pressure or to much weight can finally make someone crumble and when that happens they have to climb back up again. Yes that is me now. I have had everything thrown at me in one go. I have had a death in my family, my health, my job, everything that could possible break someone or cause the heart break or soul crushing,mind breaking, thing has hit me, i have gone upstairs and just cried, i have gone upstairs to get clothes, get ready and cried, walked to the stairs and cried because right now i am broken and right now i don't know how to fix it because i'm shattered into a million pieces. but its ok to not be ok. its ok to struggle its ok to cry its ok to call out for help...

#mental health #mental illness #negative #im hurtin #the strugge is real #its ok to not be ok #aniexty #its ok to cry #im losing my miiiiiind #mentalheathawareness #negative regression

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suspiciouslybluemilktea · 2 years

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I gave @amee-racle brainrot by spewing about my hc that Saeran is the type to melt into hugs if he feels safe enough to do so. And with that, she has requested me to write something for this >:)

I will be writing SE and GE later

♡♡♡♡

Ray is very shy when it comes to accepting your affection, although he very much wants to take what you offer him with unwavering confidence. He wants to be able to accept those kisses and tender moments as if they were shiny presents made only for him to unwrap, but his mind is continuously plagued by doubt and irrational worry.

He trusts you more than anyone, so grateful that you stay beside someone so unworthy of your time and effort. That trust manifests itself as he takes huge risks for you, slipping those viles of well crafted elixir dupes into your soft hands.

Ray tries to never let his mind wander to the idea that you’re setting him up for betrayal, but it’s certainly something he feels he needs to remember is a possibility. He wouldn’t blame you if you tattled on him one day.

Try your best to shut all those thoughts of his up, catching him sulking in your room where you can close the door and be alone, just the two of you. Wrap your arms around him and pull him closer than he’s ever been to you, and he’ll allow himself the selfishness of relaxing into your hold. You can feel him sort of slyly wiggling to fit like a puzzle piece, looking for that perfect position to just meld into you.

If he could somehow find a way to be absorbed into your warm skin, turning into a puddle of goo, he would take the opportunity. The way he holds you is a search for the ability to become one body and soul.

♡♡♡♡

Suit Saeran is not one to reach out to you, weeping for your care and comfort. He’s at a mind state where he’s certain you’re nothing more than a manipulative and conniving vulture here to pick on him and his heart’s vulnerability. It takes him a while to realize this isn’t the truth of the matter.

His thoughts and actions come from a place of past pain as well as current, his fear of being abandoned like in the past as well as his Savior’s twisted words coming into play. It’s easy to fall victim to the idea you’ll be hurt again if hurt is all you’ve ever known. Rika makes sure to stomp out any sparks of hope that might twinkle beyond that as well, feeding into his crippling anxieties at every turn.

During his apology, it’s clear he’s rather disgusted with himself after treating the one person who truly cared so poorly. If you speak to him beyond the extent Mc does, working to really connect with his thoughts and feelings in the moment more deeply, he’ll most likely cave and cry. Be gentle and cautious, search for his ok as you step into his space and hold him in an embrace made special for him.

He can’t help but feel weights lift from his shoulders as his bones seem to liquify. And yet at the same time, he somehow feels as if he’s instead becoming a piece of petrified wood or stone. It’s odd, but he supposed he wouldn’t mind forever freezing like this, the structure around him crumbling to the ground with time as vines began to creep up around the both of you. He wouldn’t mind becoming like the citizens of Pompeii, those haunting dead casts of what used to be living and breathing people. Empty shells.

He can’t find it within himself to desperately cling to you the way he wants to, but he allows himself to relax in a way you’ve never quite seen before. It’s clear he yearns for this closeness as he fits himself within your arms like a perfect mold.

♡♡♡♡

Unknown is not your giant snuggly teddy bear you won at a fair, although you so often find yourself curled up with him in some way, shape or form.

You’re familiar with the feeling of his chest pressed against yours or your back, his arms around your waist, hands on your hips or thighs or face…but it’s all just for an elaborate game of power play and forced submission. Never in a million years did you think you’d ever grow accustomed to the touch of your kidnapper, but here you are today, not even trying to shove him away anymore.

The only moments any touch between the two of you is truly soft and genuine take place when Unknown is heavily clouded in the mind. Sometimes it’s with a flurry of blaring emotions, most times elixir. You can only really hold him close when he’s far too hazy to keep you at the usual distance he wants you at.

Much like Suit Saeran, Unknown has severe trust issues, but will act upon them with a very different approach. I hate to say this but if you ever outright went in to kiss those pretty lips of his, he’d assume you’re trying to soften him up to win against him. He will not allow himself to ever be “seduced” by you, no matter how attractive of a little thing you are. You cannot just wiggle your way into comforting him unless you’re in a situation that just doesn’t allow him to over think, hence the drugged state (sorry my love).

Unknown is almost fragile once too much of that bitter beverage enters his system, unable to even hobble around to fetch himself a glass of water as the initial effects take place. If it causes him to vomit, he’s down for the count as it’s not easy to function with your stomach going full haywire.

Catch him in your arms and assure him as his assistant it’s your duty to baby him, and watch him melt into your hold because there’s just nowhere else for him to go.

Why do you do this for him? What are you trying to gain?

His head is limp as well as his aching body, and he finds himself almost locked perfectly into the way you wrapped up around him. He is boney to the point where all you’re clinging to is a pair of ribs rather than a man’s torso, but his arms have a slight soft squish due to lack of muscle.

As his face nuzzles into your neck and his hands dig at the back of your shirt, he seems to untense a tad knowing it’s you, slowly but surely. His clinginess is a longing to lose himself within your arms, as well as a method to cage you in to be by his side forever.

Sooner or later, he does stop struggling to get up. Your smell, your feel…you hear him whisper your name into the silence. You bring him a sense of familiarity, but he’d damn you straight to hell if you ever spoke about these moments of strange peace he finds with you.

If I’m reaching a little too far here, I think you could maybe…MAYBE full on cradle him if you really tried. Maybe? Maybe. How out of his mind is he?

#saeran x mc #saeran choi #saeran x reader #unknown saeran #ray mystic messenger #suit saeran #unknown mystic messenger

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nabinochu · 2 years

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Safe

. ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　

Ayyy more self-indulgent writing, let’s gooo~

Not proofread lol. Also, this one feels kinda unfinished idk

Characters: Thoma (Genshin Impact)

Genre: Fluff/ Comfort, slight angst??

Warnings: Mentions of abuse/ maipulation (not from Thoma ofc)

┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄

I had run to him in blind rage and sorrow, without even a second thought. I did not even realise where my feet had taken me until I stood before the Kamisato Residence, as if by instinct. And, as if he too knew I'd come here, Thoma enveloped me in his arms at the gates of the estate. As soon as our bodies made contact, I felt all my walls crumble. As strong as I thought I had built them, when it came to Thoma there were no walls that could stop his onslaught of warmth and comfort. My arms reached up, desperately clinging to his shirt. The sobs that I had tried so hard to swallow bubbled up into my throat and tears pooled in my eyes. My throat was so raw from screaming that I couldn't even compose myself to tell him what had happened. But he knew.

He knew.

"You're alright, Little Dove. I'm here. I've got you." He hushed, wrapping his arms around me more. "Come. Let's go inside and I'll make you some tea." He ushered me inside, trying his best to keep me as close to him as he could.

We sat down at the tea table in the main room of the Kamisato household. It was late, so everyone was asleep. But Thoma knew that no one would mind. He quietly poured the brewed tea into my cup from where he sat across from me. I had calmed my sobs, but tears still rolled silently down my face. I pulled the jacket he had given me over my shoulders more, taking in his scent. It was warm and earthy with a hint of sweetness. It was Thoma. His voice drew my attention upwards, to be greeted with his beautiful eyes.

"Do you think you can tell me exactly what happened? If you want to, that is."

I gathered my courage and released the breath I had been holding in. My voice was hoarse and quiet as I explained what brought me here to him in the dead of night. It had happened a million times before. And Thoma had always been there to pick up the pieces. But this time was different. This time, I wanted to tell him the whole truth and not just a fragmented truth in an attempt to spare myself from the look of pity. Because the truth is that Thoma never pitied me. I just didn't want him to see me as weak. Despite that, here I was, broken down in front of him. My soul was finally completely bare and open to him.

Normally, I would just say "it was just an argument". Then I'd smile and we'd move on.

But this time was different.

This time, I told him everything. I told him about the years of emotional, psychological abuse I endured at the hands of the man I called "father". All the names he'd call me, all the ways that he'd tear me down and belittle me, all the ways he'd manipulate me and try to make me think it was somehow my fault. I told Thoma everything. This time, I had finally snapped and felt such a rage course through my veins. A rage like I had never experienced. It shook my whole body to the core. I told Thoma how it made my chest burn and my limbs tingle, and how it terrified me. That's how I ended up here. I was so afraid that I'd hit him and not be able to stop, so I ran and I ran until I found the one person that I was not afraid to hand my entire heart to.

As I finished speaking, I finally dropped the tension from my shoulders. Thoma was silent, yet thoughtful like he was trying to find the right words.

"You know that I knew, right?" He sighed.

My heart sunk. Of course he knew. Nothing slipped past him. I nodded in response.

"I just never knew how to confront you about it. I didn't know for sure and didn't want to make accusations, so I figured you'd tell me when you were ready." He continued, reaching across the table and holding out his hand. I took it shakily.

"I don't want to go back there, Thoma." I whispered, feeling my eyes well up again.

"That's not even an option. You don't ever have to go back there. I hope I never see that man, for his sake."

I nodded as he shuffled around the table and pulled me into his side. He placed a kiss on my forehead and whispered in my ear.

You're safe.

. ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　

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loth-wolffe · 3 years

Text

Pairing: Fives x reader (no y/n)

Warnings: angst but fluff at the end?? idk this is just a glimpse of bittersweet times with my babe fives. alsO mentions of Death and all that comes with it, I guess.

Word count: 1,5k hA.

He was leaving again.

Your Fives.

At this point you should think it was easier, but it wasn't, somehow it got harder, every time he would kiss you goodbye, or mumble a promise that he would return to you, every night felt like it went quicker, every hug got tighter, longer, and every little thing made your heart crack a little bit more, long for a future that was uncertain.

You've seen it, how the war keeps getting harsher, more ruthless, you've heard about the number of casualties, seen how many troopers leave and how little return, some of them just to come back just to die in bed, the medics unable to do more for them than give them looks of pity.

The mere thought of Fives not returning one day breaks your soul into a million pieces, but it'd break you even more if you're the one that leaves him.

"I'll come home," Fives promises, like he always does, "to you." He holds your hand in an attempt to make the words somehow palpable, for him to hold onto you, to anchor him as he makes his way home. "I'm not going anywhere," and it's funny because he is leaving, but you know his heart stays with you.

"I know."

But you don't.

You don't know if he'll really come back, or how many more of these goodbyes you can take.

"Baby," he whispers and you shake your head, "I'll be back in no time, you'll see." He whispers before pressing a quick kiss on your knuckles and placing his bucket over his head, hiding the hurt that drips from his eyes and it's unfair that you can't do the same.

You nod, unsure, because it's always like that, you never know if he will come home, you never know if he will die somewhere, and be forgotten along with you because no one will come to make sure you know.

But you will, when you see others running around with uniforms that matches his, but your eyes can't find his particular one, it will be then when you know.

"Don't cry, please."

It's a plead you can't seem to follow, tears collecting themselves in your eyes with such ferocity you can't keep up with, when you blink, they run down your cheeks, but before they can leave your face, he wipes them away, gloved fingers caressing your cheeks in a way that should be forbidden, because there is no explanation as in why someone that could fight so much, so hard and for so long as he has, can find in himself to deliver a touch that is so soft, so tender, as if you were made of glass, when he has given punch after punch, fought with blood and sweat, with his entire soul and yet not be consumed by it.

Because at the end he lets himself be consumed by you, and nothing else.

"I'm sorry," but you shouldn't be apologizing, you know, but you don't know what else to say, to make him stay just a bit longer, even if it's just to comfort you for the second he leaves you crumble down and everything he will say to be forgotten.

"Hey, hey, look at me," he says, oh so quietly, grabbing your chin between his fingers to make you look up, eyes meeting with a black visor staring right back at you.

You wish you could see him, but he's already late, and someone calls his name but he decides ignores them.

Right now, you're more important than them, than war, than everything he's supposed to be made for. You are his whole world, at the end, his home, his safe harbor he can always come back to after the most harrowing storm.

"I will come back, alright?" And you nod, sniffing lightly, your eyes trying to find his behind the helmet. There is something in his voice that travels through the modulator and straight into your heart that makes you believe him.

If he says he will, then he will.

"Alright." You whisper back, and he lets his thumbs wipe the few wild tears.

Fives lifts his helmet enough for it to look like a hat, and you smile a bit despite the knot in your throat and the unshed tears.

"I love you," he admits, not for the first and, you hope, not for the last time either.

"I love you too."

But you don't move, and he doesn't either, his eyes try to memorize every detail of your face just like yours do too, and he lingers a second too long, waiting for you to do something else, but you don't, instead dread makes a path in your heart as you feel him slipping away when he places his helmet back correctly and gives you a sharp nod before he leaves to meet his brothers.

"Wait!" You try to reach him with your hand, even if he's a few meters away.

He does stop, turning to look back at you, and you know he's not much of PDA in front of his brothers, unless it's the 79's in a busy night, he's reserved when it comes to everyone knowing he has you, so kissing in the middle of the hangar must've been a big no for him, probably, but at the moment you don't find it in you to care, so you jog towards him and in a swift movement, you take his helmet off before crashing your lips with his, he lets go a surprised sound into your lips, but is quick to follow your movements, hand flying to your cheek to pull you closer and keep you in place as you rest a hand in his chest to hold onto something.

When you pull away, you ignore the shit eating grins from the troopers around you, and the few teasing "get a room" comments along with the cheering "way to go, Fives!"

Instead, your eyes travel from his swollen lips to his bright eyes shining nothing but adoration, and you hope your eyes show the same too.

"You better come back, Fives." You tell him sternly, index finger touching his chaste plate and he takes your hand to kiss it softly.

"Yes ma'am." He says it as if it was a direct order from a General, or whatever, as he lets your hand drop at your side, and you can't hold back the silly grin it brings you.

He leans again to kiss you, this time gentler, less rushed, for him to remember the taste of your lips and the warmth of your touch more than anything else, and you wish the moment to last longer, to have him longer.

You miss him already.

"I'll comm you as soon as I can." He seals the promise with another quick kiss, before he pushes himself away, taking the helmet from your hand and putting it back for one final time, because he knows that if he doesn't, he won't be able to stop kissing you. "I love you," and this time the admission feels lighter, less sad, less broken.

It is not fear the one that controls the words, but the confidence that he will return to say them again.

He starts walking backwards to the ship and your smile widens.

"I'll be seeing you in no time, sweetheart," he says cheekily, and you can hear the stupid grin in his voice, which makes you laugh. "I love you."

"Alright, Fives." You chuckle, because you feel like if you say them again, you won't stop the tears from leaving this time.

But he's having none of that, he wants to hear you, just one more time.

"I said I love you!" He practically yells, and your heart skips a beat, cheeks hurting with how much you're smiling and you forget all the sorrow you felt before, even if it's just for the time your eyes still lock with his. You roll your eyes playfully.

"I love you!" you answer back, giggling when you hear his delighted laugh, your hand coming to dry the tears.

"Love you more!" And you shake your head at his silliness. Boy, you do love him, with all you are and all you will be.

When he's at the ramp of the ship, waving at you, he finally says, "I'll see you soon, baby!" before he's pushed inside the ship by some other trooper and the door closes behind him.

You smile, shaking your head. That Fives of yours, always knowing how to lift your spirits, drag away all the bad feelings and replace them with all these pretty emotions.

It's not long before your comms blink and you frown a little, answering quickly, but before you can say anything, it crackles with a,

"I miss you already."

Fives.

You should've known.

Your heart flutters wildly, holding a sob that threatens from leaving, instead laughing when you hear the groans of the others to asking him to please shut up because their teeth are gonna rot with all these sweetness, and you have never felt more full of love, for him and because of him, overwhelmed with the love he has for you.

"I miss you too, Fives." And you hear the puff of breath that you know it's hiding a smile behind it before the comms shut off.

You think that you can take as many goodbyes as he needs to, for him, you'll do it, as long as he keeps coming home to you.

taglist: @foodandbooksplease @dottiechan @ladykatakuri @tacticalsparkles @murdertoothpick @m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s (sorry moony ilysm)

#fives x reader #arc trooper fives x reader #arc trooper fives #fives #i love him your honor #if i forgot to add someone to my taglist let me know heh

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let-them-read-fics · 3 years

Text

Yours Truly (Pt. 1)

Requested By: Some of you!

Pairing: Jisoo x Fem!Reader

AU: College

Word Count: ~ Part 1 -> 9,786 // Part 2 -> 7,433

Warnings / Misc. -- Pining, Angst, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hey everyone! I finally have a few days off, so we're back to our (semi) regularly scheduled programming with this fic! I really hope you enjoy it; lmk what you think :)

PS ~ Once again, I had to split it into two parts to appease the Tumblr Overlords.

♡ Happy Reading ♡

Part 2 -- Click Here

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

1.) A Day In Class

Where does true beauty come from?

Is it strictly based in someone's DNA, rooted entirely in the attractiveness of their features? Or is deeper than that; does it extend from their soul? The very essence of stardust and personality that makes them them? Is it in how they interact with others? How they carry themselves?

You, being the wannabe philosopher that you are, love hearing people's answers to those questions. Every response is unique in its own way, altered depending on the person asked, and you find that to be one of humanity's most wonderful qualities. Like snowflakes, we're all different; as such is our definition of beauty. It lies in the eye of the beholder, subjective in its nature, and you find that comforting. Just think: if 99% of the world's population found you unattractive, 78,000,000 would beg to differ.

Though, for one person, you're sure those rules don't apply. She's objectively beautiful, and no one even attempts to pretend otherwise.

Who, you may ask? Kim Jisoo, of course -- head of your school's student council, resident girl next door, and keeper of your heart. She's poised in every way, and refined to the point that you question if you're even deserving of knowing her. Humor and kindness radiate from her no matter where she goes, so it's really no surprise that so many people love her.

A tap on your shoulder pulls you from your thoughts, and you turn to look at your best friend. "Yo, Y/N. What did you get for number 32?" Jeong asks from his seat in the row directly behind you, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Your history professor likely wouldn't take kindly to being interrupted during his lecture, so you choose to show him your answer instead of responding out loud.

Jeong thanks you and continues to work on the activity you finished nearly 15 minutes ago, leaving you to half-heartedly listen to your professor. You're a good student, but even you have a limit to how much monotonous speaking you can handle in one sitting. As his words drone on, you roll your neck -- intending for the action to relieve some of the tension in your aching muscles; you're in for a surprise, however, when you lock eyes with none other than Jisoo herself. She offers a warm smile and wave, and the innocent actions send swarms of butterflies to take flight in your stomach. After sitting there for a moment, dumbstruck by her beauty, you snap to and return the gesture, making her giggle quietly.

Huh. So that's what angels sound like, then.

She turns back to her work after a minute, flipping the page every so often as she follows along with the lesson. You take note of how her eyes dart across the materials laid out on her desk, how her fingers mindlessly flirt with the edge of her sleeve in contemplation when she gets to a question that stumps her.

Never have you ever found yourself in such inner turmoil before. The sight before you begs to be seen -- to be admired -- but class continues on. As much as you try to fight it, your resolve eventually crumbles; foreign concepts now falling on fully deaf ears, you allow yourself to be entranced.

2.) Out In The Square

A Few Hours Later

Throngs of people stretch out before you, everyone making their way to various parts of campus as the blazingly hot sun beats down on them. Some run like their lives depend on it -- likely having overslept or missed campus transit -- while others take their time, catching up with friends and gossiping all the while. The soft pfft of sprinklers set up across the sections of lawn around you can be heard, going off every so often, and occasionally they're followed by the shouts of some unfortunate people getting soaked.

"You're so lucky, Y/N," Jeong groans from behind you. A grimace sits on his face as he flips through the pages of his Trigonometry book, looking for the reference graphs again. "No more classes for the rest of the week and you don't have any more assignments to finish? Remind me again how to become a teacher's pet, please." You roll your eyes with an amused smile, leaning back on your elbows to talk to him.

"I'm not a teacher's pet, Jeong. I just do my work on time instead of partying every night." He picks up a leftover piece of bread from the picnic basket that sits to his right and tosses it at you in retaliation to your little remark.

"I don't care what you say, those parties are always epic. One of these days I'll convince you to come along."

You shake your head, knowing there's no way you'd willingly attend one of them. From his stories, all those "epic" nights consist of is ridiculously drunken beer pong, sweaty people doing jello shots, and regrets.

"Not in a million years, loser." You say adamantly, not letting him trick himself into believing he's capable of swaying you.

With one last muttered phrase of, "we'll see about that," he returns to his studies, and you turn your attention elsewhere.

Scattered light filters in through the leaves of the tree you're sitting under, wrapping you in a blanket of warmth as your eyes scan across the crowd again. The sight brings to mind an idea that always fascinates you: everyone you meet is busy creating their own stories, writing and rewriting new possibilities and endings for themselves with each new choice they make. You can hear snippets of their conversations -- see instances of some having their best days while others are living through their worst -- and it really puts things into perspective. Although we may appear as side characters in those books of life that others are writing for themselves, we have no idea what they're going through at any given moment. So, you believe, that makes it all the more important to leave a positive impact on them; whether it be a kind smile, holding the door, or even a simple compliment, you're determined to have your legacy be one rooted in kindness.

Speaking of kindness in human form…

There she is, you think to yourself, feeling that all too familiar pitter patter of your heart pick up. Jisoo exits Building C, where her latest lecture just ended, and rushes down the stairs with her books in her arms. She's studying to become an actress, as far as you know, and you can't help but smile at the thought; she'll make an amazing star someday.

You watch as she meets up with 3 other girls, whom you immediately recognize as Lisa, Rosé, and Jennie, and they eagerly bounce their way over to the refreshment truck that one of your school's clubs had been so considerate to hire. It's the perfect day for a cold treat, after all.

Jisoo's dark hair flows in the gentle breeze that rolls in, looking like silk as it rides the currents. She's gorgeous in every way, and you can't help but be smitten; besides, it's not like you're not alone in your pining. She practically has the entire student body wrapped around her finger.

"Y/N, don't forget to blink. You're staring pretty hard," Yuqi says, raising up onto her elbow beside Jeong. He laughs with her, but his eyes remain glued to the notebook paper he's scribbling his work onto.

Your eyes dart away following her statement, and you know you've been caught. "I thought you were asleep," you bite back, attempting to hide the blush of embarrassment that's quickly flooding to your cheeks.

"I was, but I guess my intuition as your best friend woke me up. It's my mission in life to tease you."

"So I've gathered," you sarcastically smile at each other, making stupid faces like always.

"You love me," she flips her hair over her shoulder, appearing self-assured with the smirk that tugs at her lips.

"Do I though? I don't know sometimes..." she socks you in the arm, making you chuckle.

"All jokes, babe. Don't pout," you pinch her cheek until she grins, and then she begins telling you all about the dream she just had.

----

Jisoo leads her gang over to one of the nearby tables, making sure to choose her seat strategically. A special someone caught her attention earlier, as they have from the moment she first laid eyes on them months ago, and she hasn't been able to fight the urge to admire them. She watches as they laugh along with something their friend said, tilting their head back as the cheerful noise rings out. She finds herself smiling along, imagining what it would be like to make them laugh like that; it's a uniquely wonderful sound, and she can't help but adore it.

They lean across the blanket they're sitting on and dig through a picnic basket, retrieving what seems to be a sandwich packaged up in plastic wrap. One of their friends exaggeratedly thanks them, tackling them to the ground in a messy hug with a shout of gratitude that even Jisoo can hear from across the square.

"Earth to Jisoo!" Jennie says, raising her voice slightly as she snaps her fingers in front of the unnie. The former jolts back to attention with a little jump, clearing her throat to gather her thoughts.

"You know, you could always go talk to him. I've heard he's sweet." She tells the other girl, noticing the look of longing that's befallen her features.

"Yeah, Joy has Art with him on Thursdays. I think his name's Jeong or something like that." Lisa butts in before taking another lick of her ice cream.

Despite being so smart, the girls are really oblivious sometimes; Jisoo wasn't looking at him at all. She was looking at you.

She doesn't know if now is the right time to tell them that, though. She hasn't officially come out to them, but she isn't afraid that they won't accept her -- she just wants that moment to be special, and sweating in the middle of the campus square doesn't seem like the golden opportunity that she's been hoping for.

"Just eat your treats, knuckleheads." She concludes, taking a spoonful of the shaved ice she opted for instead of ice cream. The truck had multiple types of treats, with all kinds of different toppings and flavorings lining the walls.

"Okay…" Rosé trails off before adding, "but don't say we didn't try to help when you start wishing you had said something later." Jisoo uses her spoon to lower the one that Rosie had raised accusingly at her, reassuring the girl that she'd be fine.

She knows it's a lie, though; as the 4 of them later toss their trash in the bins and make their way to the student council room, Jisoo sneaks a last wistful glance at you, wishing she would've had the courage to start a conversation.

3.) One Step Closer

Friday, 1:34 PM -- A Few Days Later

"Hey, Minji. How many do we have today?" You wave at what kids have already been dropped off, your presence making their little faces light up with joy.

Your coworker responds from across the room, tossing a couple stray toys into their labeled baskets to keep the space tidy. "10 or so, I think. The last ones should be arriving soon." You nod and take off your coat, setting your things in one of the small cubbies against the wall just beyond the entrance.

"Y/N!" A small voice shouts from behind the counter, hidden from view. You smile deeply when you realize who it is, and you quickly dart around the corner to say hello. His chubby hands cover his mouth, but they do little in hiding his adorable grin. "Seungbum! How's my little munchkin?!" He squeals and runs into your arms, giggling loudly when you pick him up and spin him around. His dark hair sways from side to side with the movement, the slight waves sticking out in random places. A few seconds later, he wraps his arms around your neck and pulls back to look at you, settling into your secure hold.

"Can we play when Jia gets here? I promised her I'd show her the new trick I learned, but I wanna show you, too."

You smile at the sweet sentiment. "Of course, buddy. As long as you eat well at snack time, we can play however much you want." You raise an eyebrow at him, showing your authority, before saying, "I saw you put your veggies in your pocket last time and skip to dessert, so it'd better not happen again." He lowers his head after realizing he had been caught, and a hint of redness flushes his cheeks in embarrassment.

"Okay Y/N-yah."

You tickle him to make sure he knows you aren't mad at him, and soon he's laughing again. "Now, go wash your hands and get settled at the table, please."

"Yes ma'am." His tiny sneakers squeak against the floor as he races off towards one of the lowered sinks that borders the kitchen wall, and you shake your head with a smile.

Not even a second later, you feel a soft tug at your pant leg, and you turn around to find the source.

A head of brilliantly auburn hair is the first thing you see, and its shade compliments the child's outfit perfectly. "Hi sweetheart. Are you new?" You squat down to the young girl's level, noting how she shyly toys with her fingers as they rest in front of her. She nods, the movement so subtle that you almost don't notice it.

"My name's Y/N, and that awesome lady over there," you lean closer to her and point towards your coworker, "...is Minji. You can stay with us today, or you can play with the others, okay?" She nods again, her mannerisms letting you know just how shy she really is. Gently taking one of her hands, you hold it and look at her with a reassuring smile, asking, "Will you tell me your name?"

"I'm Aera." She meekly says, only maintaining eye contact for a second or two.

"That's a beautiful name," you compliment, seeing progress as she lightly smiles at your words. "And I love your bow," you add, touching the delicate material that rests near her ear, nestled into her straight locks. It has cherry blossoms and butterflies on it, all vibrant and neatly colored.

"Thank you, I picked it out myself." She perks up a bit now, raising her head to look at you with a proud smile. "Wow, really?" You put on an impressed expression, wanting to boost her confidence even more. "You'll have to help me choose one the next time I go shopping, then. You're great at it." The praise makes her chuckle, and her eyes squint into soft crescents in the process.

After stealing a glance at the table where everyone else has already gathered, you realize that they're waiting on you to start. "Alright, Aera, it's time to grab a bite to eat. Do you want to sit with me, or are you ready to be with the others?" You tilt your head to the side, asking the question softly so she doesn't feel overwhelmed. Having had this job for a while, you've gotten the hang of adjusting your behavior to put them at ease.

"With you," she says, growing a little timid again at the idea of mingling with them yet. "That's perfectly fine." You reassure her, smiling one more time before standing and leading her to the room. Her hand remains clutched in yours, wiggling around slightly from the height difference as she looks around.

"Who's ready for some snacks?" Minji asks the group, laughing when they all raise their hands and get excited. Their high pitched voices carry around the room as they discuss what foods they want to trade with each other, and soon everyone is happily munching away. You rub Aera's back sweetly as she eats some cucumber sticks, swinging her feet through the air beneath the short chair you retrieved from the table for her. She looks up into your eyes with a smile, melting your heart with the cuteness of her full cheeks. You squish them before turning away, feeling your 6th sense kick in as you scan your eyes across the rest of the group.

"Seungbum…" you warn, catching the way he's mischievously eyeing the carrots laid out before him on the table. He pokes at one of them and sighs, eventually giving in as he takes a hesitant bite of it. With some more convincing, he finishes the rest of the pack and gets started on his dessert.

----

Honestly, you feel sorry for the birds outside.

They must have had hundreds of mini heart attacks upon hearing the somehow earth-shattering roar of the 10 young kids, all blasting out the side door towards the playground. Some of them automatically race towards the swings or slides, while others approach the basket of toys and sports equipment. Aera, however, hangs back, her entire hand wrapped around just a few of your fingers. "What do you wanna do?" She shrugs, looking around at the different activities that the others are already starting.

"I can push you on the swings, or we could race. There're some monkey bars and a merry-go-round, too, that nobody's using right now." You suggest, hoping to catch her interest with one of them. Her attention snaps up to you at that last option, and she dramatically drops her jaw. "Did you say merry-go-round?" You nod with an amused grin, laughing when she lets out a cute noise of joy. After pointing her in the direction of it, she dashes off ahead of you and makes her way to it, only stopping to make sure you're still coming with her once she gets there.

"Hold on tight, little one." You advise, cheering when she giggles in anticipation. Her chuckles fill the airwaves as you spin the bar around, making sure not to pull too hard and make her too dizzy. You were once a kid, too, though, so you make it a point to add some serious speed every now and then to keep her entertained and happy. You remember playing on these all day when you were her age.

---

"Auntie!" Aera shrieks, excitedly thundering towards the fence that borders the playground. You finish cheering Seungbum on after watching his trick, grinning as he tries to flirt with Jia; she looks impressed. You turn around at Aera's commotion, feeling your eyes practically pop out of your head at who you see standing on the other side.

"How was your day, my love?" Jisoo asks sweetly, leaning over the metal divider to run a hand through her niece's hair lovingly. She still hasn't noticed your presence, and for that you don't know if you're relieved or saddened. Watching her interact with the young girl is quite adorable, though, and you're distracted from your personal gay panic for the time being.

"I've had so much fun. And Y/N-yah said she likes my hair clip! I told you this one was prettier than the one with just trees on it!" Aera says smugly, happy to have her decision pay off and prove her aunt wrong. Jisoo tenses up, not expecting to hear your name right now. Seeing that this is her first time picking Aera up, she had no idea you work at the daycare; though she'd be lying to say that it comes as a surprise -- you're a very warm person, so it's no wonder that you're good with kids.

As per Aera's request, you walk across the playground and join her in front of Jisoo. Now it's your turn to be shy; you sneak a glance at the student council president and immediately feel your cheeks heat up, so you busy yourself by patting Aera on the head. She hugs your leg and settles against your side, causing Jisoo to raise her eyebrows. "I'm impressed, Y/N. She usually doesn't open up to new people very easily."

"Ah, I'm surprised that such a cool girl like her wanted to hang out with me." You tease, tickling her side lightly when she hides behind the material of your shirt. "Do you want to come in and see what she drew today? She's definitely skilled." You suggest, trying not to sound too hopeful as you muster up the courage to look at Jisoo again. She's already smiling at you, a soft sort of adoration shining in her eyes as they rake over your features. She accepts your offer, and you walk over to the gate to let her in. Aera demands that you carry her, so you scoop her up into your arms as you make your way back into the daycare center. Her head sits on your shoulder, and you can feel her playfully making faces at Jisoo the entire way; her tiny frame jolts with each loud giggle she lets out, and the sound makes you smile.

---

"Yeah, she was my sidekick for the day." You respond to Jisoo, continuing your conversation as you watch Aera remove her drawing from the cork board that she taped it to earlier. Displaying the kids' artwork is something that you advocated for when you first began working here, and you're so glad you did; they always get excited to share their works.

"She's a lucky girl, then." She says, doing her best to ignore the feeling of your eyes on her. Focusing on anything other than you is already hard enough for her, but she knows there'd be no hope left if she gives in now.

"Y/N helped me draw this. She doodled Dalgom in the corner," Aera cheerily says, breaking the slight tension in the air as she approaches the table. Most of the other kids have already been picked up, and Minji's watching the handful that haven't.

"It's not very good," you cringe, scratching the back of your neck. You've seen him a few times since the beginning of the year, whether it be on walks across campus with Jisoo, or perched on her desk during "bring your pet to class" day.

"It's adorable; Dalgomie will be honored when I show it to him." Jisoo says with a nod, shutting down your insecurities within a second. You fail to contain the laugh that slips past your lips, disbelief present in your voice as you ask, "You're going to show him?" She looks at you like you have 3 heads. "It would be a disgrace not to."

With a breathy chuckle, you say, "You're so strange. I like it, though."

Jisoo smiles at that, and the three of you discuss all of the fun things you did that day. Jisoo tells you about the classes she had to sit through, and even how she stepped in gum and had to borrow a pair of Rosé's shoes.

---

All good things must come to an end, though, and after about half an hour of talking, it was time to say goodbye.

You lead them out the door and down the sidewalk as per Aera's request, yet again (that child is basically a mini dictator at this point, but she's cute so she gets a free pass). As she rustles around her bag in search of her keys, Jisoo accidentally knocks her earbud case out, sending it tumbling to the ground. "Oh! Here, I'll grab it for you." You kindly offer, stepping past her to retrieve it from the grass. She takes it from you with a word of gratitude uttered in that angelic voice of hers, and you begin your goodbyes upon hearing Minji call your name.

"I'll see you around, Jisoo. And Aera, I expect to see you next week." You wiggle a finger at the little girl, donning a shocked expression when she pretends to bite it. "Can't you tell we're related?" Jisoo asks with a smile, ruffling her niece's hair. "The resemblance is uncanny," you laugh, watching as both of them join in with you.

"Y/N, come on!" Minji whines, sounding like a toddler herself. You initially go to brush off her request in order to spend a few more seconds with the two of them, but when she stands in the doorway, entering your line of sight, you see why she's so desperate for your help -- two of the children still waiting on their parents are climbing on her, about to knock her over at any second. Her face is beet red from the effort she's exerting, and her hair is mussed wildly.

"Oh shhh---" you start, catching yourself when Jisoo widens her eyes at you and goes to cover Aera's ears, "--shiitake mushrooms!" You finish with a nervous smile, gaining a stunned laugh from your crush. "Bye girls; gotta go. I'm on my way, Minji!" You call out like a superhero, running to her aid as fast as your legs will carry you.

Jisoo watches you wrangle one of the squirmy kids off of her and initiate a tickle fight to distract him and give Minji time to deal with the other one. She smiles like a dork at your actions, realizing she would be content with watching you all day. You're a natural with them, and seeing you in action is something she wishes she had the chance to do more often. With that, she turns around and picks Aera up; the youngster nuzzles into her embrace, lazily slumping onto her after having such a tiring day. As Jisoo goes to take a step forward, she notices something on the ground: a piece of paper. It's been folded neatly many times, and it reminds her of the notes she would always pass to her friends back in elementary school. Her curiosity gets the better of her, and she can't resist the urge to pick it up.

"To The Girl Who'll Never Know I Love Her"

Her eyes scan across the words and she unfolds the note, making sure to keep a steady grip on Aera with her other arm. An almost unnoticeable signature is scribbled in the bottom corner, and she nearly scares Aera by squealing in pleasant surprise.

It's your name, curled into the letters that are so uniquely yours; the paper must've fallen out of your pocket when you bent down to get her case earlier.

After buckling her niece into her car seat and climbing into the driver's seat, Jisoo unfolds the note again and begins reading. She's like a giddy kid all over again, and part of her feels bad for giving into temptation. She reasons with herself by promising to give it back to you the next time she sees you, and that manages to rid her conscience of some of the guilt she feels. For now, though, she's eager to see what it contains.

The first thing to catch her eye is a poem written neatly underneath a doodle of a rabbit, likely serving as some sort of label. Everyone on campus knows of her nickname and resemblance to rabbits, and she can't help but hope that your drawing wasn't simply a coincidence.

Poison, is what you are

A bittersweet mix, intoxicatingly beautiful

For one glance from you

Steals every breath I had so foolishly believed was mine to take

For one smile from you

Sends me reeling, falling all over again

She nearly swoons at the words, rereading them multiple times over and imagining you saying them to her. She wonders how the syllables would fall from your lips, which ones you'd stress to alter the meaning into whatever you imagined when you wrote them. Whether or not they're written for her, she may never know; all she's aware of right now is how they make her feel, and how that feeling is one that she never wants to stop experiencing.

4.) Practice Makes Perfect

2 Weeks, 3 Exams, and 1 Mental Breakdown Later

"Coming!" You call out, using all of your strength to push your rolling chair away from your desk and across the room towards the door.

"Y/N L/N, at your service," you say, doing a little bow in your seat. Upon looking up to see who's in front of you, your eyes lock with the same girl who's been living in your mind rent free ever since you met her.

"Jisoo!" You announce a little louder than intended, scrambling up into a standing position before kicking the chair backwards. You wince when it collides with something behind you, filling the room with noise as a few of your knick knacks clatter to the floor. Jisoo has to fight to contain the smile on her lips, pursing them as she looks towards the ground so as to not embarrass you.

It's too late though -- you've already made a fool of yourself, and right in front of your crush, no less.

"What can I do for you?" You ask, finally relaxing your face from its previously scrunched up position.

"Are you busy right now? I have a favor to ask and you might be the only person who can help me out." Her eyebrows raise inquisitively at you, quirking up in that special way they always do when she's focusing in class.

She could ask you to do just about anything, and you'd be agreeing without hesitation; no questions asked.

"N-no, just doing a little studying is all. How can I help?" You'd normally curse yourself for sounding so shy, but she looks especially gorgeous tonight and you can't even blame yourself for it. The fluorescent bulbs of the dorm's hallway fail to even put a dent in the glow she's radiating, and that's no small feat -- those horrible little things are usually capable of making anyone look bad, and yet, once again, Jisoo manages to break the mold.

"Mrs. Choi assigned a rehearsal for me tonight, and I need a peer to score how well I do. I trust you to do it." She says, having no idea how much her words are affecting you.

Review portions of the semester are crucial to every major's success, but arguably none so much as those studying to be actors. The peer and admin reviews that they receive account for a large chunk of their grade, so you can imagine how nerve-racking it would be to put that kind of power in someone else's hands. You're touched that she trusts you with it.

"I'd love to help, Jisoo. Just curious, though: why don't you have one of the girls help? They probably know more about it than me, after all." Everyone knows how close JenChuLiChaeng are, so her decision to choose you is genuinely intriguing.

Shit. For some reason, Jisoo hadn't anticipated that you'd ask that question. The thought had never crossed her mind earlier, when she was preoccupied with convincing herself to come in the first place, so she has to think something up on the fly.

"They're all busy with work. Couldn't afford to lose any precious cramming time, you know?" She says, a hint of nervousness behind the small laugh she lets out. It's uncharacteristic for her, considering she's usually so confident all the time, but you think it's adorable.

"Ryujin's the same way," you tease, turning your head to look at your roommate. She's across the room on her bed, reading through her book as she holds her middle finger up to let you know she heard your comment. "What a sweetie," you coo, blowing a kiss at her that makes her roll her eyes and smile despite herself. She pretends to be hardcore, but after spending the past few months with her you've discovered that she's actually the human embodiment of a cinnamon roll.

"Well," you say, turning back to Jisoo, "when do you have to start?"

She pulls her sleeve back to glance at her watch before returning her gaze to you. "Gotta be back at the dorm in 10 minutes."

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise, the inner honor student in you already panicking. "10 minutes?! It's all the way across campus, Jisoo!"

She laughs at you now, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth. "I'm kidding; we still have a couple hours. You should've seen your face, though. Priceless."

"That's no way to treat someone who practically has your grade resting in their hands." You say smugly, a little smirk playing on your lips when her jaw drops dramatically.

"You wouldn't dare," she narrows her eyes, referencing the notion that you might give her bad marks because of that little prank.

"Maybe, or maybe not. Perhaps I'll be merciful if you take me to get something to eat first."

"Food as a peace offering? Alright, I can do that."

You smile, doing a dorky little cheer at that. "Okay, I'll be right out; just give me a second to make myself look presentable."

Jisoo accepts your words with a curt nod, but she wants to tell you that you already look more than presentable. When you first opened the door earlier and she saw you in your study glasses, she couldn't help but smile like a fool; you're adorable, especially to her, and she wishes you could see that.

A couple minutes later you exit your dorm and find her leaned up against the hallway wall, her hands fidgeting in front of her. Is she nervous?

"So, where would you like to go?" You ask, pulling the thin material of your jacket over your shoulders. It's lightweight -- seeing as how the weather doesn't call for a large one -- and it feels soft against your skin.

As the two of you fall into step with each other, she responds, "It's up to you, princess. Since I'm at your mercy and all." Her smirk is visible in your peripheral.

The nickname causes your heart to flutter in your chest, thudding around even harder than it had before. "U-uh, how about the noodle place?" You suggest, trying not to cringe at the stutter in your voice. You've heard that she likes chicken and ramen, and that shop is known as the best restaurant on campus for it.

"110%. You know me so well," she says dreamily, batting her eyelashes at you with a silly smile.

"Called it," you retort, brushing your shoulder off nonchalantly. "Now come on, I'm hungry and ready to spend all of your money." Her hand slips into yours when you reach down for it, almost instinctively, feeling like it was meant to be there all along, and you tug her down the hallway towards the elevator.

----

"I know! If Mr. Johnson assigns another project like that then I'll politely be jumping out a window."

Jisoo laughs at how animated you are, even having to stop chewing her mouthful of food momentarily to make sure she doesn't choke. She really loves hanging out with you; you make everything fun, and all of the stress she feels on a daily basis seems to vanish into thin air.

"I did pretty bad on that last one," Jisoo adds, grimacing as she remembers her score.

"You literally got a 93 out of 100, shut up." You shake your head with an amused smile, reaching across the table to snatch a piece of gimbap from her plate.

"Hey--" she goes to yell at you, but her phone vibrates against the table, successfully stopping her.

"Hello?" She answers, silently starting a chopstick war with you when you reach for another piece. When the person on the other end begins talking, she stops playing in order to concentrate on what they're saying.

"Did she cancel?" She asks, furrowing her brow as her lips form into a natural pout. She sighs, rubbing her temple gently as the conversation continues. "Okay, I'm out with a friend right now, but you can go ahead and head that way. We'll meet you there. Alright, love you, too. Bye."

You raise an eyebrow, wordlessly requesting info about what new plan you're being involved in. "That was my brother; the babysitter cancelled on them last minute, so we have to watch Aera for a few hours." Jisoo loves her niece dearly, but she can't deny that she wanted to spend the evening alone with you. She's afraid the little girl will steal all of your attention away, as childish as that may seem.

"You're such a good person," you compliment, only to frown when she brushes off your words. "I mean it, Jisoo. You always take care of everybody around you; it's admirable. Now take the compliment or I'll team up with Aera later and tease you."

She rolls her eyes with a smile, saying, "You're gonna do that regardless."

"That's not the point," you pout, stomping your foot on the ground lightly.

"Fine; tis I, Jisoo, the greatest person in all of existence. Happy now?"

"Ecstatic." You beam at her, returning back to your cheery self. "I'll go grab some boxes for us, okay?" She nods, and you scurry off on your mission.

----

Back At Jisoo's Dorm

Images flash across the large, flatscreen TV mounted to the wall across from you, displaying scenes of whatever cartoon the network decided to air right now. Aera isn't being picky; she's content with sitting in your lap, mindlessly fidgeting with the necklace that loosely dangles from your neck as she remains entranced by the screen. Your arms are around her to make her feel secure, and her small frame racks against you with every sweet giggle she lets out anytime a new joke is told by one of her favorite characters.

Jisoo observes from the kitchen, leaning back against the countertop to settle in while she waits for Aera's favorite snack to heat up. She watches as you point to various things on the TV, having her name the ones she knows and teaching her others that she doesn't.

She loves seeing you like this. You're beaming in that special way that sets her heart on fire, and the flames are only fanned when you turn to look at her. Somehow, the sight reminds her of the first time she met you:

It was orientation week -- the beginning of the school year -- and you were taking a tour around campus with some of your friends. You were lucky to have them; you'd only kept in contact with a handful of people from high school, knowing full well that most of those relationships were only rooted in superficiality, never meant to last. But this motley crew was different; they saw you for you, and all of you genuinely enjoyed each other's company. It didn't have the same air of awkward tension as the fake friendships had -- this was real and honest, and you thanked your lucky stars for them on the daily.

All of you had managed to get into your dream schools, and the reality was bittersweet; you'd all be moving away from each other and beginning your own lives, having less and less time for each other in the process. You were beyond proud of them, and yourself, for that matter, but it still hurt to think that they wouldn't be just a few blocks away anymore. That you couldn't just swing by their house to go on a late night drive through the city like you used to. As exciting as your new experiences were bound to be, part of you was terrified; your life up until now had been fairly safe, creating a little security blanket to protect you from all that life had in store, but now you were on your own and the idea was a bit daunting. The memories you made together comforted you, though, and kept the sadness at bay.

"Dude, this place is sick. How did you manage to make it in again?"

"Because she's smart, dumbass. We should be asking you that question."

"Ouch, (Friend's Name), that hurt."

"Do you still have those chips from earlier? I'm starving over here."

"Yeah, here, they're in my bag."

Pockets of separate conversations can be heard from behind you, all of your friends chatting away while you walk ahead of them, map and schedule in hand. The campus is fairly large, and with so many buildings and classrooms it's easy to get confused. You continue walking, running a finger along the map to trace the path you intend to take towards the Help Center.

In your preoccupied state, you don't even realize that you're headed straight for a trash can that sits on the sidewalk, mere seconds away from colliding with it.

A passerby notices just in the nick of time, reaching an arm out in front of you to prevent the accident with a noise of warning. You tense up, not expecting the sudden interruption, and look up into the eyes of your savior. Her dark orbs peer back at you, an innocent gleam in them when she sees your lips slowly tug into a smile.

She mirrors your actions, neither of you saying anything yet. You couldn't utter a word even if you wanted to; her beauty leaves you speechless.

"That was close," she says quietly, only to you. Your friends have almost caught up with you now, still busy with their own conversations, though they'll tease you once they see a gorgeous stranger's arm wrapped around you.

"Thank you," you breathe out, clearing your throat as you take a step away from her.

"Ooh, who's this, Y/N?" One of your friends coos, garnering a chorus of childish "oohs" and kissy noises from the others. Why are they so obnoxious?

You apologetically glance at the girl one more time before turning around to respond to them, but she speaks up before you can.

"Kim Jisoo." She introduces, facing them with a wide smile. It's easy to see that she's done this before; her tone is pleasant and light, not even a hint of hesitancy in it. She's used to being the center of attention; you can tell by the way she carries herself and commands the space.

"I see you guys are taking a tour, right?" She looks between all of you, though her eyes linger on you for a second too long to be brushed off as 'just friendly'.

You nod, saying, "I can't find my last class. It's a Gen Ed one; World History, room 435. The map says it's in Complex D, but the room was vacant when we went by."

She listens intently, paying attention to your every word. "They must've handed out the old maps by accident, then. Mr. Johnson had to move rooms to accommodate larger class sizes. When do you have him?"

You unfold your schedule again, gazing down at the slightly crumpled sheet until your eyes find their target. "Tuesdays and Thursdays, 1PM."

Upon registering what you said, Jisoo does her best to contain the grin that threatens to spread across her face. "Ah, same as me! I can take you to the room, if you'd like. That way you can find it next week." She offers, pleased by the fact that she'll be seeing you more often. Your cute mannerisms have already thrown her for a loop, and she wants to get to know you better.

"That would be great." You let out a relieved laugh, releasing the worry you felt; tours are meant to end within 20 minutes or so, and before Jisoo came you were afraid you'd never find your last class. She's saving the day again, it seems.

"Great, follow me," she smiles warmly, placing a gentle hand on the small of your back to turn you in the right direction. When you give your friends one last glance over your shoulder, you find them giving you thumbs up with smirks on their faces. One of them puckers their lips at you, and you stick your tongue out in return.

You're not sure what they'll end up doing while you finish your tour, though it'll likely involve either skating or eating fast food. They have each other to keep themselves entertained, so you're not worried about them in the slightest. You make a mental note to text them when you're done to meet up again.

Jisoo smiles like an idiot when she realizes what's happening behind her, failing miserably to hide it when you spin back around and give your full attention to her.

"What?" You ask, leaning in closer to her to nudge her shoulder when she looks away, blushing.

"Nothing," she shakes her head, only to be prompted by you again. "You're just cute, is all."

You have to use all your power to hold back the squeal you want to let out at hearing that. Kim Jisoo, as you now know her to be, thinks you're cute? You must be dreaming.

"That's funny, I don't remember turning into a mirror."

"Yah, babo!" She chuckles, not expecting that as she smacks the back of your head with no real force. The two of you share a laugh and continue talking while you make your way to the room.

Beeping sounds from the microwave bring Jisoo back down to Earth, causing the pleasant memory to fade more and more with every incessant signal that cuts through the air. She grabs a couple heat guards and approaches the machine, carefully opening the steaming package and pouring its contents into a big, shareable bowl. Though it may be Aera's favorite food, she'd be damned to not make enough for the two of you as well. After all, keeping her entertained will take plenty of energy.

"Did this princess order one heaping bowl of popcorn or am I at the wrong castle?" Jisoo plays, padding into the room with a bright smile on her face as she looks over at her niece. The smell of her snack snaps Aera back to reality, making her eyes light up with pure joy as she leaps off of your lap and runs to Jisoo. She wraps her arms around her legs, thanking her in that sweet little voice of hers as she gazes up at her aunt with stars in her eyes.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She chants, wiggling her body around in excitement. She lets go when Jisoo goes to walk to the couch, following close behind her like an eager puppy.

She approaches you again, making grabby hands for you to lift her onto your lap even though she's more than capable of getting up there by herself. Nevertheless, you pull her up with a humored grin, watching as she puts her hands in her lap and patiently waits for the two of you to get a bite first. Her ability to follow manners is commendable, though the slight twitch of her lip when she gets a whiff of the food is pretty adorable.

"Dig in," you say around your mouthful of food, locking eyes with Jisoo when Aera jumps at the opportunity to follow your instructions. You never have to tell her twice when it comes to food.

"Yep, definitely related."

Jisoo laughs at your comment, reaching over top of Aera to flick you in the forehead. She shrugs at your pained exclamation, uttering a nonchalant "Sorry, not sorry," as the two of you crack up together.

----

"Y/N, how the hell did you manage to do that?" Jisoo whispers, not bothering to censor herself when she sees Aera fast asleep in your arms. It's not like she could hear her anyway.

"She was already kinda tired when she got here; I just made sure to get that last little bit of energy out with the games. Have you forgotten that I know a thing or two about kids?" You tease, turning to her with a smile when you finish walking up the short staircase.

"You don't understand: usually it takes us hours to settle her down. She's just a totally different person around you."

"Must be my awesomeness."

"Hmm, must be," Jisoo hums, quietly opening her bedroom door for you and watching as you carefully lay Aera down. You tuck her under the blankets with care, making sure to brush the hair out of her face and adjust her pillow a bit. Jisoo leans against the doorframe, adding the scene before her to her list of reasons for loving you. Seeing you in such a domestic situation gives her baby fever, and she has to push the persistent feeling away.

"Ready?" You whisper with one last look over your shoulder, giving Jisoo your undivided attention once you confirm that Aera's alright.

"Let's do it," she says, pulling the door to but not latching it. The two of you will be in the living room, just down the hall, and you want to be able to hear her in case she needs something. So responsible.

You take in the dorm as Jisoo leads you towards your destination, amazed at how much bigger it is than yours and Ryujin's. This one has separate rooms equipped with their own personal bathrooms, a decent kitchen, and, of course, a living area. Clearly, having ties to the school and being president of the student council come with some major perks. Your socked feet pad against the hardwood floor, and you close what little distance is left between Jisoo and yourself to press your body against her back, wrapping your arms around her. She lets out a little noise of surprise, but doesn't protest; she tucks one of her hands into your clasped ones and uses the other to rub your forearm.

A few moments later you plop down onto the couch and get comfortable on the cushions. Jisoo digs around in her bag that leans against the tv stand, searching for the script of her upcoming production. Her shirt rides up slightly, giving you a perfect view of her beautifully sculpted stomach, and her skin looks ethereal as it glows in the soft lamplight of the room. Embarrassed for admiring her in such a way, you avert your gaze, failing to notice how she subtly bites her lip as she approaches you; she planned that little show, and it worked.

"Okay, so here's the scoring sheet," she hands you a semi-formal looking paper, along with a pencil and clipboard to use as a stabilizer. "I'll be reading from the first few pages on my own, but I was wondering if you'd fill in for the male lead for some of the other parts? It's a lot easier to get into character if I have someone's energy to feed off of."

You smile at how cute she sounded with her little rambled request, and nod. "Of course, Jisoo. I doubt I'll be any good, though." She releases a sigh at that, happy to have you agree; her plan is coming along nicely, but there's always room for things to go wrong.

"I'm sure you're better than you think."

"Stop sucking up, Chu. Flattery won't make me raise your grade," you warn, pointing the pencil at her sternly. Your tone sends a shiver down her spine, though it goes unnoticed by you.

"Let's just get started." She concludes, doing her best to keep from getting too flustered under your already watchful eye.

----

Her show is well underway, caught somewhere towards the end of act two, and you're enthralled by the performance she's giving. The paper that once rested in your lap is marked up with comments of praise and proud annotations to accompany your high scoring, though now it lays forgotten about on the coffee table, serving no purpose any longer. You finished all of the required sections necessary for your peer review, and now you're just enjoying the journey that Jisoo is continuing to take you on.

You look back up into her eyes after reading off the lines of the character you're filling in for, looking completely unskilled next to the pure talent that she's exuding. She stands from the couch, looking down at you with an exasperated expression as she remains in character.

"You don't get it!" She raises her voice slightly, though not loud enough to wake Aera. Even while in the intense mindset she has to be in for her character, she keeps one foot in the reality of this world, making sure to behave appropriately.

"Enlighten me, then." You stand and retort, shifting a bit closer to her after reciting your line.

"Only when I'm with you do I feel true happiness. Your kind eyes bring me comfort like no other; I'm safe in your arms. For you, my love," she pauses, her eyes brimming with tears from the emotional words she's spent so much time rehearsing. "...there isn't a thing in this world that I wouldn't do." Your breath is held tightly in your throat, and your hands subconsciously grip onto the material of your jeans.

Only now do you realize how close the two of you have migrated to one another; she's merely a breath away, so close you can feel the warmth radiating from her. You swallow thickly, feeling your nerves come alive with every second that passes in heated silence, neither of you knowing what to do now. You've lost the desire to read your next line, and she doesn't seem too upset by that fact. Her eyes slowly scan over your features, and the lovesick look in them makes you question if she's still in character or slipping out of it.

After her gaze darts down to your lips and she licks her own without even realizing it, you seriously begin hoping for the latter of the two options.

She searches your face for any sign of refusal as she leans in closer, now bringing her arms up to wrap around your waist and lightly ball the material of your shirt up into her fists. Your hands rest on her shoulders, and you glide your fingertips over her jawline. A singular nod is the last form of consent that you give her before she pulls you closer.

Her lips ghost over yours, receiving some of the vanilla balm you applied earlier; her breath hitches when you tug at the collar of her university sweater, teasingly taking her bottom lip between your teeth. She wants to savor this moment, so she fights against her urge to dive right in and get lost in you.

Within seconds, she's kicking herself for that decision.

"Auntie? Y/N?" Aera calls sleepily from just around the corner, making the two of you spring away from each other. When she appears less than a second later, you realize how close you had been to getting caught. Jisoo refuses to meet your gaze when you look towards her, and that simple action disheartens you a bit.

"Hey, sweetheart. Bad dream?" You ask, using your inference skills after noticing the way that she's clutching her stuffed bunny close to her chest. Her lip trembles as she nods, and the sight breaks your heart. Quickly, you pick her up again, assuring her that she's safe and that you'd slay any monster that dared to hurt her, even in her dreams. A small smile tugs at her lips, and she brings a fist up to rub her eye. "How about this: I'll do a quadruple check of the room for you, and stay with you until you fall asleep. Sound good?"

She utters a tired, "Yes, Y/N-yah", before laying her head on your shoulder and waving a goodbye towards Jisoo as you take her back to the room.

Four sweeps of the room and one fight with a ghost later, you tuck her in again and lay a sweet kiss to her forehead. "Love you," she mumbles lazily, making your heart melt. Kids say that phrase quickly, without even realizing the weight that it has, but you're always glad to accept whatever they imagine it to be. Whether she loves you for playing with her, tucking her in, or defending her honor against imaginary monsters, you don't really care all that much -- she loves you in the ways that she knows how, and that's all that matters.

"I love you, too, Aera. Sleep well." You tuck a piece of hair behind her ear and settle against the wall, prepared to come through on your promise.

----

"Hey," you start, albeit a bit awkwardly.

"Hey," Jisoo returns, pushing her leftovers from the restaurant around her plate half-heartedly. You approach the marble countertop that she sits behind, silently begging for her to look up at you.

"Should we talk about earlier?" You quietly ask, picking at imaginary imperfections on the surface of the countertop.

"What about it?"

"We practically kissed--"

"It was in the script to do so, Y/N." She says, finally looking up at you. She sounds a bit hostile now, like she's getting defensive for some unknown reason.

"Oh," the simple utterance is all you can manage, seeing as how your brain is running a mile a minute. You want to ask if it meant anything else to her -- if she would've taken it farther, had Aera not walked in -- but you don't. Her tone serves as enough of an answer, and you're not sure you could stand to hear her verbalize your fears anyway.

"Well I guess I should go, then." You retract your hand and put it in your pocket, realizing how stupid you were for thinking she could like you back. She doesn't; she was just in need of a helping hand tonight, and you offered that. You shouldn't have tried to turn it into anything that it wasn't.

Hearing the disappointment in your voice makes her want to confess right then and there, but something still holds her back -- some force is yelling at her to keep her feelings hidden for fear of rejection. "I can drive you."

You shake your head. "Nah, it's okay. I'll have Ryujin come get me. You can't leave Aera here and I wouldn't want to have to wake her up just for you to drive me across campus." Jisoo agrees, realizing that she didn't even think about that at first.

"Goodnight, Jisoo." You say, heading off towards the front door. She returns the gesture, reminding you to be safe as she locks it behind you and watches you dial up your roommate's number. Before long, she pulls into one of the parking spaces in front of the dorm, and the two of you drive away.

Click Here For Part 2

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wreckofawriter · 3 years

Text

Magnolia Final Part

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Mentions of blood and death

Summary: idk dude just read the other chapters first or this is gonna make no sense

A/n: I did this instead of studying for my finals, also it could probably use a neither round of editing but I was anxious to post it. And I really don't give a fuck if this is historically inacurate all research done for this was from Pirate of the Caribbean.

Part 1 Part 2

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

You considered the stars your friends, their predictability and reserve made them easy to get along with. You had been taught to read their language from your early days of ships and oceans. As a child, you would speak to them, whispering secrets from your bedroom window. Your young nights had been filled with time spent stretching from the top of your magnolia tree to try and grasp their beauty. Even now as you stared up at the heavens you wished to cradle them like priceless jewels, their wonder never faded. But you supposed their mystery is what made them so appealing, everyone wanted something they could never quite reach.

The news of your captured prince had spread like fire in a dry wind, the letters you had sent to Aldir and their neighboring kingdoms throwing many into action. Sirius’s kingdom was large, powerful, and merciless. Some wanted the prince for leverage, many others wanted blood; revenge driving them to empty treasuries and sharpen swords. At first, you had been sitting pretty, letters of bids coming to you at every stop you made. Eventually, prices got too high and kingdoms decided it would be easier to take than to pay.

Ash burned in the back of your throat, you stared at your feet as the second ship that week crumbled into the ocean. Its flames were heavy on your back, reflecting in the greys of the sea. A particularly large crack of the fire made the breath catch in your throat. Your fear of the element had persisted for years filling your nightmares with smoke and screams.

As the distance between you and the defeated ship lengthened your heart began to calm. The air was thick with moisture, purple clouds bruising the dull sky. The ocean was frothy, waves lapping tirelessly at the sides of your ship.

Your mind felt dizzy, the taste of blood still thick in your mouth. Two more men had been lost in the fight which had taken place just minutes ago. One flung into the ocean and the other struck by a bullet. That was six bodies that you had been forced to dump into the sea the past month.

You had to get rid of Sirius before more corpses were to be fed to the sharks. This had never been so strikingly obvious before yet, you hesitated. Nails dug into your palms, the voices in your head fighting a clamoring war. Your feelings were illegible, their messy colors smeared together in an uninterpretable painting. So you threw them away, ignoring the throb in your chest and taking a breath. Sirius was to be sold to the highest bidder and that was that. You felt your past’s grip on your throat loosening. There was only one way to get rid of what used to be, you had to kill it.

Sirius had never been so bewildered before. His life had been a book that was written a thousand times over. The prince falls in love, the queen doesn’t approve, the love runs off, the prince finds the love, and then happily ever after. But life wasn’t as sweet nor simple as a children’s story and this may be the first time that he had ever truly realized that. All it took was the prince to be tied in the love’s basement ready to be sold to his death.

Sirius woke with a start as metal clattered inches from his face. His heart pounded loudly in his ears as his breath slowly returned to his lungs. He stared at the plate which had woken him, it was piled higher than normal with two rolls dropped next to it. He peered up at the giver of this gift.

He recognized the small blonde as the one he had threatened a few weeks before, the fear he had seen in her eyes that moment now replaced with pity, bitter and soft like rotten fruit.

“I wanna talk.” She said plainly, toeing the plate towards him like a bribe, he supposed that’s exactly what it was.

Sirius sat up ignoring the hammer of his head. His hair stuck to his cheek, slick with sweat. The woman whose name he never learned dropped to a squat beside him, a small knife held in her hand. His eyes widened as it glinted in the small gas lamp hanging above his head.

“Relax.” She sighed cutting the rope that tethered his hands behind his back.

Sirius felt his shoulders groan in protest as they fell forward, his wrists aching and rubbed red. Hot pin pricks filled his fingers as he clenched and unclenched his fists.

When he looked back up Adrie was now seated in front of him, her legs crossed. She glanced down at the food and then back up at him, “You can eat if you agree to answer some questions.” Her demands were simple.

He let silence settle for just a moment, “Fine.” After all, what did he have to lose? His dignity? His pride? They had been sleeping with the fishes for ages.

She pushed the plate towards him, watching him quietly as he began to eat, “You don’t look like much of a prince to me.” She hummed after a moment.

Sirius swallowed, licking his lips, “Does anyone after two weeks locked in the bottom of a ship full of scum?"

Adrie cracked a smile, “I suppose not.”

She stared at him still, she was lying a bit. Years held prisoner couldn’t erase the royalty he was raised with, it stuck to him like wet stuck to water. Nothing and everything proved him a prince, you could take his crown but you could never take his title.

“How do you know y/n?”

Sirius was startled by the suddenness of the question but not remotely surprised it was asked, “She hasn’t told you?”

“I wouldn’t be asking if she had,” Adire responded, her tone was blunt.

He bit into a roll thoughtfully taking his time to chew slowly, she was patient, her blank expression, not faltering.

“I thought you were friends.” He mumbled with a full mouth.

Her jaw tightened, “Y/n doesn’t speak of her past.”

“So you’ve come to me for information?” Sirius said mild mockery in his voice.

“Obviously.”

He eyed the woman curiously, she was not what he had expected of your right hand man. Sirius smiled loosely, “You sure you wanna disobey Captain’s orders?”

“Start talking or I take the food and hang you by your ankles.”

Sirius huffed glancing between her and his food, “Fine, you win.”

“Good. Tell me everything.” She demanded.

Sirius felt his throat tighten around the potatoes he had swallowed, his mind ached with hazy memories of summer days and speeding hearts, “There isn’t much to tell.”

“You’re a bad lair.” Adire hummed.

Sirius sighed, eyes falling to the bright white scars which laced his hands. He wasn’t sure where else to start but the beginning. He told of a loud baker girl who snuck over the walls into his garden and brought him pastries and friendship. He continued with vague details, of growing up together with swords and stars, reliving each moment he shared.

He felt his words stiffen as he spoke of falling in love with you. Part of him felt like he was talking of someone completely different. Someone who had burnt up with her parents in a small bakery a million miles away. What was left, muffling cries above him, was a shell of that girl her soul replaced with seaweed and smoke. He pushed the thought away, swallowing it with the lump in his throat as he continued to speak of a proposal he regretted and the consequences of disobeying his mother.

The broken fairytale cut his tongue filling his mouth with a bitter taste. He attempted to wash it down with the rum his listener had brought to him but its flavor was just as bad, it's only redemption was the warmth that filled his stomach.

Adrie looked at him blankly, "I don't blame her for wanting you dead."

Sirius wished she had stayed silent.

"But I pity you, you don't deserve death."

He didn't look up and instead finished his drink, "Your pity means nothing to me."

She sighed standing to her feet, "I never thought it did."

When her boots disappeared up the ladder he let his cup drop to the ground, it rolled knocking into his heel as tears dripped from his chin.

By the time you had dropped anchor just off of Haran, the moisture had dropped from the air. Dry winds and clear skies greeted your crew.

Rowboats were dropped in the water quickly, the sun was setting fast and a night of cheap ale and cheaper women were in the forefront of many a man's heads.

You were tired, the happiness of your crewmates falling short at your feet. Exhaustion had replaced all anger and sadness you had harbored for the past weeks making your eyes grow dull as the bags beneath them. The satchel burned under your arms had a note you had written agreeing to the Yerith King’s price. You had singed your finger on the wax used to seal the envelope, it still throbbed a bit with the unsteady beat of your heart. You tried not to think about much on your way to land instead filling your head with that faint burn and fog of the setting sun.

Adrie watched as you played with the diamond strung around your neck, a new piece she had only seen in recent days. She assumed you had taken it from one of the ships which had recently burnt into the sea. The bright stone was so different from the rest of your jewelry she was surprised you wore it all. Obnoxious gems had never been your type.

She was wrong on this thought, large jewels used to be what you would stare at as you passed shop windows, wishing you had the money to clutch one in your hand. They used to be a dream and a wish, now they were just things you stole and sold to the highest bidder.

Sirius had been briefly told of the plans for the evening. Two men whom he had become somewhat accustomed to during his stay had tied him up. The knots were tighter than usual as they were to be gone for the night. In his usual nature, Sirius complained about the ache of his wrists and the cramps in his legs. His grievances went unheard and his company disappeared from sight. The boat was quiet within the hour, nothing but the creak of old boards and calls of gulls far above his head breaking the silence.

He drifted in and out of sleep for a few hours, time passing in its usual way, slowly. Finally, a clear thought came to Sirius’s head, he had the whole boat to himself. That meant there was no one to stop him from escaping his certain and quickly approaching death.

Sirius tried to twist his hands out of the rope for what must have been an hour and only resulted in drawing blood from his wrists. Switching tactics he began to slowly shuffle and roll around the cabin he was in, searching for anything that could cut rope. As the sun’s light began to fade his task was growing difficult. Just before he gave in to his exhaustion Sirius found a bent nail sticking about a centimeter out of the ladder that led to the upper deck. The next two hours were spent rubbing his binds against the dull metal until they finally snapped.

After a month of being held prisoner, freedom left him stunned. He stumbled up the ladder until he reached the ship’s deck. The warm breeze which washed over him felt like a gift from the gods. A smile stretched his aching cheeks and for the first time in a while Sirius Black let out a genuine laugh.

He quickly found a small boat which he could lower to the water. He could be miles away before the sun rose and you found his binds cut. Judging by the port you had stopped at he was only a few days' row from neutral lands. There he could gather himself and write for help. He was saved.

Sirius’s glee was cut short as he realized that he was missing one vital thing; you. The only reason he was out here in the first place was for you. He had spent years following rumors across the sea, he had given up his place as king, he had spent hundreds of thousands on supplies. But the truth was even if he hadn’t done all that, even if he had stumbled across you within a week and spent no more than ten doubloons he still wouldn’t leave this ship alive unless you were by his side.

Sirius cursed, slamming his fist into the deck. His eyes darted around in what felt like panic. He was trapped between your love and his life and while he had chosen the former weeks ago he had no way of securing it.

In the dark, a glint of light was seen. A crate of liquor stowed next to the captain’s quarters revealed itself to the pale moon. The man's mind buzzed, he realized quickly that he would need to act fast, the hours of the dark he had left must be well used.

The deal had been easy, one glance at the large gem and you had a buyer offering hundreds. You walked away with 400 doubloons knowing it was worth much more. Not that you cared, you had been hours from chucking the necklace into the sea.

It was late at night now, the golden light of pubs and brothels spilling onto the gravel road you walked. Your legs still felt weak, they were accustomed to the sway of boats on sloshing waves not the strange sturdiness of the ground. You hadn’t been able to sleep well on land since you had stepped off it, you had always opted for a swinging hammock over a still cot.

You swung your bag of coins round in circles as you made your way to the beach. The water was smooth save the ripple of waves drawn by the full moon. Sand glistened silver under your boots, the light crash of water on rocks echoing around you.

You had never intended to spend the full night on land, your crew was well aware of this fact and none would be surprised to find you gone in the morning. You shoved one of your beached row boats back into the water, splashing about ankle deep before leaping into it.

When you reached your ship, you sensed something was wrong immediately. The small voice which you tended to ignore was screaming in the back of your head. As you climbed onto the deck the strong scent of liquor overwhelmed you. You heard a soft splash and glanced down to look at the puddle you had stepped into. Swiping two fingers through the fluid and plopping them into your mouth you hummed. There was no mistaking the sharp taste of gin. You looked around to find the leak and instead locked eyes with a figure who stood about 20 meters in front of you.

“Sirius?” You asked though you already knew it was him, you didn’t think you would ever forget his face, even if it was obscured by the shadows of the moon.

He gapped at you, unsure of what to say.

You took a step closer and caught a glance of the bottle he held in his hand. Its thin neck was stuffed with a piece of cloth, the soft glow of a gas lamp flickering behind him. The second you realized what he had planned your gun was pointed at his chest.

“Drop the bottle Black.” you hissed with a steady voice despite the fact that your gun was rattling in your hands. Your thoughts were now fogged with fear, plagued by smoke and flames.

Sirius had suddenly found his voice, “I know you’re not stupid enough to fire that. One spark and we’ll both go up in flames.”

Your breaths quickened, vision blurring as tears welled in your eyes. “Why are you doing this?” You croaked. “Why do you want to ruin everything I’ve built for myself?”

“I’m not leaving without you y/n.” He shouted, “I can’t live without you. Just come with me. Please. Just come with me and it will all be fine.”

You shook your head, “No.”

“Please, please! I need you y/n, I can’t go back without you!” He begged, snatching the lamp from behind him, “I won’t be able to live.”

It was in that moment that you understood he was just as desperate as you, just as lost and hopeless. You dropped your gun to your side, tears sliding slowly down your cheeks. Your throat tightened holding back a sob, “Okay.” You said with a broken voice.

Sirius cracked a small smile, “I knew it.” He sighed, “I knew you still loved me.” Setting down the lamp he opened his arms walking towards you. You met him halfway burying your face into his rough jacket.

“God I missed you y/n,” he whispered as you slipped a knife from under your sleeve.

“I’m so sorry Siri.” You mumbled in response before plunging the blade into his back.

You held him as he collapsed forward, choking back on his own blood. You had begun to sob, hand still clutching the hilt of the blade which was lodged into him. Eventually his weight became too much to bear and you both fell to the ground. Sirius rolled off next to you, his hand still clasped around your own. The two of you started up at the stars listening as his breaths slowed. Just before they stopped completely you felt a small squeeze of your hand and for just a moment you saw the soft pink of a petal floating towards you.

You weren't sure how long you lay there, staring up at the sky but it was long enough for you to finally realize that you were the villain of your story. It was an odd thing to recognize considering in all of the books you had carried as a child you took the place of the protagonist; the one who swung the sword to save the kingdom You had always been the one to end your life with a happily ever after.

Now you had realized that you had never been a hero. You had spent your life as a villain in the making, each step you had taken leading you closer and closer to your undeniable fate of evil. You had your chance to be the princess trapped in the tower, but you had ignored the prince and now took the shape of a witch. A witch who stole and killed and burned all that she hated. Some had to do it after all, we can’t all be heroes. There is no story without a villain, at least not one worth reading.

As much as the small baker girl who rested amongst the magnolia tree would have hated you, the woman you saw when you looked in the mirror was okay with who you had become. And if she was okay with it, then why did it matter what the past would have thought? You had been running from it for years and now you would never have to again. Because now your past ran from you.

taglist:

@april-showers-and-flowers @fleurmoon @chaosinparadise @re-zerohora @pregnant-piggy @approved-by-dentists @theweirdobella @fific7 @whitewashedghanianlol @artemis1orion @justmesadgirl @bberree @songforhema @wangmangagavroche @evyiione @atomicpunkrock @fairywriter-oracle @moon-zodiac @secretsofageek @accio-rogers-blog @roslea @k3nz-doodl3 @theseuscmander @sleepingalaska @chloe-geoghegan1 @obsessedwithrandomthings-blog @coldlilheart @suseptiable-bur-siriusexual @inglorious-imagines @the-natureofme @trickylittlewitch @layaa-layaaa @teheharrypotter @sarcasticallywitty15 @rosieweasleyy @dracosgoodgirl @inglourious-imagines

so many of u changed ur urls so if I have the wrong person tagged or the wrong username let me know

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