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transmascissues · 3 months

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12 weeks post-top surgery thoughts

most importantly, i’m absolutely fucking in love with how things look! it’s still not set in stone yet, my surgeon said i won’t really see the final result until up to a year after, but I’m so happy with it already.

my surgeon’s default timeline would’ve had me starting scar tape at 4 weeks, but i still haven’t started yet because some little scabs are still hanging around even though most of my scars are completely healed. my surgeon didn’t seem concerned about it taking longer than expected, she just said everyone’s body is different. given that i have a connective tissue disorder and skin that just hates being messed with at all, i’m not surprised that it’s been slow going and i’m just happy that the rest is healing so well. i just had another post-op today and was cleared to start using scar tape because the scabbing is so minimal at this point, so i can finally move on to the next stage of healing.

i can (mostly) lift my arms now! they still can’t quite go all the way up, but i have enough of my mobility back that the only things i really struggle with are super high shelves like the ones above my fridge, and things like the washer and dryer that i have to reach really far to get into. technically, i was supposed to wait six months before raising them because that’s what my surgeon usually recommends for aesthetic purposes, but i have to be able to raise them to do my job anyway so i’m not limiting myself beyond the natural limits of discomfort at this point.

my chest muscles are mostly back to normal too, but they’re still very sensitive. when i flex them, it doesn’t hurt or feel uncomfortable but i am a lot more aware of the feeling than i was before. they also still tire out more easily than they used to — i’m back at work now, and i’ve learned the hard way that i tend to favor one arm over the other for certain tasks because when i do any of them for too long, i start to feel it in that side of my chest. it’s not anything too bad, but i’m still making sure my shifts are spread out because i don’t want to risk overdoing it.

i’m getting used to touching my own chest, but being touched by other people still feels super weird and honestly uncomfortable at times, particularly when it’s my bare chest and not over my shirt. i’ve been touching it a lot to try to desensitize it since around week 3 or 4, and it seems to be working as far as my own touch, but other people is a whole other story — when my boyfriend is touching my bare chest and their hand touches the scars, it doesn’t actually hurt but i react to it like it does. i suspect it’s more of a mental thing than anything, that since i’m still instinctively protective of it and not quite used to how it feels, touches that i’m not in control of just automatically set off alarm bells. it’s also just a generally foreign feeling even without the weirdness of healing because my boyfriend never really touched my chest before surgery since i was dysphoric about it, so it seems to require desensitization on multiple levels. i’ve given them permission to keep touching it even when i flinch (unless i explicitly ask them to stop) because i want to make sure i start getting used to the feeling.

i’m also still very sensitive to pressure against my chest, especially the front of it. it’s getting easier to lie down on my side now but i’m still using my body pillow to take some pressure off of the scars under my armpits, because if i don’t i usually can only stay in that position for a little while. my boyfriend can mostly lay their head on my chest for short periods of time now, but the position matters because if the weight isn’t distributed evenly enough or if it’s on the wrong part of my chest, it hurts. that being said, less intense pressure on the front like a hug or holding something to my chest is pretty much fine, i’m just still more sensitive to it (as with everything). i’ve been able to lay face down on top of my boyfriend a couple times without discomfort too, but i’m still erring on the side of caution and not laying on my chest too much yet.

when i was around a month in and thought i would be starting scar care soon, i was really nervous about it — particularly about the scar massage — because of the state my chest was in. i still didn’t feel like i could press on it or move the skin around or pick it up with my fingers at all, and the scar tissue underneath was still really thick and firm. i assumed that all of that would stay the same until i did the massages to break down the scar tissue and loosen things up, but i can now confirm after another month and a half of doing nothing while things healed, my skin is naturally a lot more mobile and a lot of that really thick scar tissue has already broken down. obviously i’m still going to start massaging now because i want to give myself the best possible chance of healing well, but i wish i had known how much my chest would be able to bounce back on its own. in hindsight, i’m glad i ended up having to wait to start the massage instead of doing it back when my chest was much less healed, because i’m much more comfortable manipulating it now.

every once in a while, i’ll get sharp pains in my chest. they aren’t horribly painful, mostly just unpleasant. they feel a lot like the nerve zaps i was getting earlier in recovery so it might be another round of nerves reconnecting, but it also happens more often when i’m working so it’s hard to say if it’s nerves or over-exertion. either way, i always make sure to take it easy when i start to feel that, just in case it is a sign of me doing too much.

i typically almost never eat meat, but i chose to reintroduce it into my diet after surgery to get more protein, because i wanted to make sure my body had everything it needs to heal and protein is a huge part of that. now that i’m pretty much all healed skin-wise and just waiting for everything to settle, i’ve decided it’s time to go back to my usual diet of not-fully-vegetarian-but-pretty-damn-close. i’m sure the diet change wasn’t strictly necessary but i don’t regret doing it, though i am glad to be switching back now.

putting on shirts still hasn’t gotten old. seeing how they look over a flat chest honestly feels surreal, but in the best way. hugging people and being able to press all the way into it js also still such a great feeling. i’m far enough in now that i can do all of that stuff without worrying about it, but still early enough that it all feels really new and special, and i’ve been thoroughly enjoying that.

wearing a more genderfucky outfit out in public for the first time post-op was a fucking blast. my boyfriend and i went to a new year’s eve party, and getting to show off my chest through a sheer lace top and my facial hair alongside makeup was so much fun. it was the first time i’ve been able to go all out without the lingering feeling in the back of my mind that dressing up means inevitably being seen as a woman. i definitely didn’t look like a cis man to any of the people who saw me, but they could clearly tell i wasn’t a cis woman at the very least, and knowing that made me so much more confident.

i’m far enough away now from being in the trenches of early recovery that the reality of the fact that i got such a big surgery has started to fade. when i really think about the fact that my body went through all of that and about how hard early recovery was, it doesn’t quite feel real anymore. i’m starting to reach the point one of my friends told me about, where my chest being like this feels so normal that it’s just like “yeah, of course, it’s always been like this, right?” it’s wild, really, the difference a couple months can make — it wasn’t that long ago that i was exhausted and arguably depressed from the early recovery process, and now it all feels so normal that i have to remind myself it took all of that to get here. i never really doubted that it would be worth it in the end, but i’m still more sure of that now than i ever have been.

the last couple months have been a long road, but somehow they’ve also flown by. it’s given me so much appreciation for my body — its potential to transform and what it’s been able to withstand. i wouldn’t trade the experience for anything.

#top surgery adventures #top surgery results #top surgery recovery #top surgery #double incision #trans man #transmasc

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lemon-penguinn · 3 months

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I'm nonbinary. People, in general, do not tend to see me as a trans person, even though I identify as one.

Everyone usually thinks of me as a girl. A cis girl who has decided to pass herself off as a nonbinary person, or a trans boy, simply because she thinks it's "trendy". A cis girl who wants to be part of a community because she feels lonely. And that's because, by many people's standards, I just "don't look trans", whatever that means. I guess it's simply because my gender expression is not rigid. It changes.

Deep down, I feel like a stereotype: a teenager with a female body who claims to be a boy but occasionally wears dresses and skirts comfortably. In the eyes of others, perhaps, I am nothing more than a cis girl infiltrating trans spaces. I'll be honest: I've cried over this very situation many times, because, what am I to do about it?

Do I have to change and stick to the gender role that is expected of someone like me? Do I really have to change the way I show myself just because I'm not a girl, but I also don't perceive myself fully as a boy?

I think that's ridiculous.

In the end, saying that "if you are nonbinary you have to be androgynous" is something that perpetuates stereotypes and gender roles. It's like telling a trans girl that, to be a real girl, she has to wear a skirt - it makes no sense. Do all girls only ever wear skirts and dresses? Do all boys only ever wear black, loose tank tops?

Of course they don't.

My expression, my tastes, my clothes, my voice, and the way I act do NOT determine my gender identity at all, just like my private parts. Because I believe that gender is a part of us. Not a part of our body, our clothes or our personality. It's true, though, that our gender identity can influence those other things. I think that's why certain actions or concepts make us dysphoric or euphoric: because our gender influences whether we perceive positively or negatively those things that affect us.

But, until the day most of society can understand that gender isn't a rigid set of rules, nonbinary people will remain generally perceived as no more than "girls who want attention" (if we live in a female body) and "weird boys" (if we live in a male body). We do not exist. Breaking out of binarism is seen as a phase that will end once we grow up. Because, apparently, many people think that being nonbinary is something that doesn't exist in the adult world.

#lgbtq community #queer community #queer #lgbtqia #nonbinary #queer discourse #trans rights #transgender #trans nonbinary #gender nonconforming #genderqueer #genderfluid #enby #neopronouns are valid #genderflux

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absolutelynotromealone · 4 months

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okok so ohmgod I'm in love with your blog and fics wahhh- it's so hard to find trans ftm reader fics of any kind I'm sooooooo freaking happy to have found your blog bshdbajsjshdbnsnsd the representation is so lovely pllleeeaaaase keep doing what you do :)

aannnd secondly could I request a hurt/comfort Mikey x reader where the reader is triggered by something their family/close friend says to them and it makes him really dysphoric, but he tries to bottle it up throughout the day, having it eat at him until he can't take it anymore and breaks down hyperventilating and crying to the point he can barely even speak? I think that the break down could happen outside somewhere while hanging out with a few of the tokyo manji gang members and they get all worried when reader starts to become visibly upset before he cries, and while he starts to panic and sob, so call Mikey to have him be reader's knight in shining armour on that bike of his- Mikey's all worried when he arrives to see him but doesn't show it on his face, a reader who just wants to be held while they cry and eventually ends up falling asleep in Mikey's arms feeling comforted and loved, Mikey playing with his hair and being a bit affectionate to try and comfort reader (that's probably a bit ooc for mikey but pshhhh) and then after reader is asleep he takes reader home on his bike, setting his sleeping self on the bed and laying next to you just to make sure when you wake up the first thing reader sees is something they love and makes him happy :')

(this is a reallyyyyy long request, I just like to exhaust all of my ideas for it, sorry if it's hard to read 😭 I'm a writer myself so I just wanted to make it a bit easier on ya, do whatever you like with this idm if you change anything to make it easier for you if you end up writing it-)

thank you so much!!!!

It's been forever but I finally wrote this

Fandom: Tokyo revengers

Pairing: Mikey x male reader

Warnings: ftm, trans, trans reader, trans masc reader

🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑

(name) knew he wasn't the most masculine guy, he couldn't start testosterone yet but he tried his best to make himself look more masculine with clothes and a binder, to many he just looked like a pretty boy with a slight baby face.

"But you're like not really a guy" his so called best friend said "you haven't done anything so you're not really a guy, so why are you so pressed that they called you she?" (Name) was silent as she continued and 0pher justification on why she was in the right for continuously misgendering him "ya know-- where are you going?"

"Toman meeting"

"They still let you go to those things... Since you're... You know"

And that's when the friendship ended.

(Name) walked to the shrine, he had plenty of time as he just wanted to get out of there.

Away from her.

Fuck... What was he doing? He barely passed, he looked like a child playing dress-up!

(Name) bullied himself in his thoughts, his dysphoria at an all time high, beginning to question everything to the point of his relationship with his boyfriend.

The shrine was the meetup spot but they had plans to hang out at the diner but (name) could barely hear what his friends were saying.

"(Name), dude are you ok?" Chifuyu asked, snapping (name) from his thoughts, the teen looking visibly upset and the question and mitsuya gently touching his shoulder... He let out a heartbreaking sob as tears rolled down his face, sinking to his knees.

You see to most of Toman, (name) was like their brother in law, their beloved little brother (even if he was older than a few members) in a way as he was dating their leader and close friend. "Hey... What happened?"

"Whose ass do I gotta kick?!"

Toman began panicking and freaking out as (name) cried harder, (name) was tough-- he didn't really cry and he knew how to kick ass and take a hit so seeing him cry was-- it was strange.

"Are you dealing with the fucking-- distopia thing again?!" Baji panicked and Mitsuya looks to Hakkai who nods and goes to make a call.

Not even ten minutes later do they hear a motorcycle barrel down the street "damn he moves fast..." Pah mumbled as Mikey hopped off his bike and rushed towards his boyfriend, it was barely a blink of an eye as (name) was scooped up into Mikey's arms as the blond ran back to his bike and set him on and drove off.

"The fuck just happened"

(Name) was silent, Mikey was silent, the ride to wherever they were going was silent.

Was Mikey mad?

Was he upset (name) made a fool of himself infront of Toman?!

(Name) soaked the back of Mikey's jacket by time they got to Mikey's room, the blond setting him in the bed before wrapping his blanket around him, holding him close as (name) passed out from crying.

When (name) woke, he heard the sound of plastic bags being set "hm? You up?" Mikey asked as he set the food bags down "I had Emma get us some take out, you alright baby?"

Mikey was always gentle...ish with (name), the blond treating him like he would Draken but with kissing and such so seeing him so gentle with (name) was new "you good?" Mikey asked and (name) shook his head "what happened?" The blond pulled (name) close and intertwined their fingers "tell me"

And (name) did... And Mikey felt his blood boil.

"I don't want you hanging with them, my hot sexy boyfriend deserves better!" Mikey pouted and (name) felt a bit flustered "they're just mad that they look manlier than most guys!"

(Name) snort giggled and Mikey smiled "I'll make the big bucks baby, get you a big ol' dick that isn't your personality!" Mikey cackled as (name) threw a pillow at him "shut up you!"

#afab reader #trans reader #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x afab!reader #tokyo revengers x trans! reader #mikey x trans! reader #mikey x afab reader #mikey x male reader #mikey x reader

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i-am-a-l0st-gh0st · 6 months

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Hi! Would it be ok to ask for some lyney x reader dysphoria or gen gender comfort? Like the reader being very dysphoric about their body voice etc and lyney would comfort them and maybe help them look more male-ish for example? Sorry if this is quite specific lol... Been reading your stuff for some time now lolol!

Feeling sick of myself- Lyney x TransMasc reader

Guess i'll try be someone else T/w- Gender dysphoria, petnames, Summary- You can't find your binder anywhere, and your staring get dysphoria A/n- Hi! This is a great request, i was actually gonna do one of these some time. I'm a trans person myself so this hit kind hard. And thanks for reading my stuff! Hope you like it.

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Taglist form!

Raining dizzled down outside while you were cuddled up in bed not daring to get out. Well at least not until Lyney had come home. Usually you’d be up doing some hobbies or something, but you didn’t feel like it. You couldn’t find your binder anywhere, and every part of you just felt dysphoric. Clothes were strewn all around your room after the failed search for your binder.

A little while later Lyney came home, clutching a bouquet of your favourite flower. You hadn’t been awake when he’d left so he thought he did something special when he got home. Well until he was met with you crying in bed.

“Oh, mon amour. What's wrong?”

You sniffled and shuffled towards him. “I can’t find my binder and I just don’t feel very good… about myself.”

He pulled you closer, almost not letting you breathe. “Can you tell me all about it? I want to know what's making my boyfriend upset.”

“Well, it's stupid.”

He looked at you like you had killed his cat, how dare you say something making you upset is stupid. Whatever it was it was definitely important enough to hear about it.

“No, No, if its making you upset mon amour, its not stupid.”

You weren’t entirely sure how to describe your situation, you hated your whole body for not looking how you wanted it. You hated that you had been stuck with this body. You hated in your current situation you couldn’t do anything about it.

Once you explained what was happening, he only pulled you tighter giving you gentle kisses, like you were a hurt puppy. He set to work finding your binder. Much like you did he practically turned the house upside down looking for, plus he found your favourite outfit. About 10 minutes later he returned holding the item you had been looking for all day.

“It was sat in the clean washing baskets.”

How could you not have thought to look there, you messed up the shared room for nothing. The next issue was your hair, it had gotten too long and every time you looked in the mirror all you could see was the old you. So Lyney offered to cut it. He’d had experience cutting both Lynette and Freminet’s hair so surely cutting your hair back to normal wouldn’t be too bad.

After he was finished you put your binder on and looked in the mirror. You could see what you saw earlier as much. Lyney came up from behind and squeezed you tightly.

“Look at my handsome boyfriend.” He placed a kiss on your lips, and pulled you in closer.

“Thank you Lyney…”

“It's the least I can do Mon amour, You are my boyfriend, it's my job to make you smile.”

Taglist

@pandragonsoul

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #gn reader #fluff #genshin fluff #transmasc #trans #transmasc reader #male reader #lyney #lyney genshin impact #genshin lyney #lyney x reader #lyney x you #lyney x transmac reader

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littlespacereader · 9 months

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Haiii, I hope this request iss Oki:

I'm a trans male little who sometimes still has to deal with periods.. they make me feel very dysphoric and sad, often causing me to regress..

Could you write a fic with that theme?

I'm not set on one specific fandom, here are some options I'd love to see & you can choose wich one you want to go with!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[The little one would be a trans guy in every scenario.]

Stranger Things:

Steve and Eddie, both are flips in my hc, so it could be each way around.

Cg Argyle & little Jonathan Byers

Cg Nancy Wheeler & little Steve Harrington

Marvel:

Cg Wade Wilson & little Peter Parker

Cg Gwen Stacy & little Miles Morales

Criminal Minds:

Cg Jennifer Jareau & little Spencer Reid (other cg options: Penelope or Derek)

Teen Wolf:

Cg Noah Stilinski & little Stiles Stilinski (other cg options: Melissa or Scott)

Cg Boyd & little Isaac Lahey

Supernatural:

Cg Dean Winchester & little Sam Winchester

American Horror Story coven:

Cg Violet Harmon & little Kyle Spencer

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, yeah.. any of those would be cool hehe

Thank you for reading!!

My first ever request!! Thank you so much!! I was so excited and intrigued by your idea! First off I would like to state that I am not trans myself but I am a HUGE Ally to anyone in the LGBTQ+ community! Know that you’re safe with me and I got your back💞 I absolutely loved the list of fandoms and pairings to chose from. I decided to go with Caregiver! JJ and make the Reader the Little with Spencer as an older brother Little. That being said if I don’t do this story justice I apologize from the bottom of my heart! I hope you enjoy this @dino-boyo-agere ! Thank you again for the request!!

Forever Mommy’s Little Boy

Caregiver! JJ & Trans Male Little! Reader with Big Brother Little! Spencer Reid

Tags: mentions of period, pull-ups, hurt and comfort. (Completely SFW)

Relationships: Caregiver! JJ, Uncle Derek Morgan, Big brother little! Spencer Reid, Aunt Penelope Garcia, & Trans male little! Reader.

Nicknames: baby, sweatheart, baby boy, kiddo

Breathe! Just breathe! It’s only about 10 minutes more and we’ll be going home. I can wait that long.

I sat at my desk and was waiting patiently for JJ or Morgan or literally any Caregiver in this office to announce we would be heading home. They would’ve been wrapping up everything by now…what’s taking so long?

The case, like every case before it, was long and exhausting. All I want to do is collapse into JJ’s arms and just be babied for the rest of the night but we were still stuck at work!

Regression played the devil on my shoulder, teasing and taunting me to regress at work. But I couldn’t, not yet. I had to remain big till we got to the car, then I could regress and finally relax for the weekend.

I checked again to see if any Caregivers had finished their files. Morgan sat at the desk across from me and he was still leaned down working, same went for JJ who I wanted more than anyone to finish her paperwork. The rest of the team looked the same, all expect Spencer who, like myself, finished his work early.

Spencer regresses as well. He acts as my older brother, watching out for me and creating all the creative pretend games. I’m so lucky to have him!

With a glance towards him I could see he was struggling to keep from regressing as well. At least I wasn’t alone.

Then suddenly I felt off, like weirdly off. It was a weird feeling I haven’t felt in- oh God no. I must be wrong. I have to be wrong. I quickly stood up from my desk and rushed off to the restroom. I walked in and quickly closed the stall door behind me before checking to see.

Sure enough my period arrived earlier and heavier than expected. And since I was unprepared my pants and underwear are stained noticeably. I tried my hardest to push back tears threatening to spill.

This is dead to me. This…this period, it’s just a nagging reminder of a life that didn’t feel whole. A life that wasn’t really mine, not like now. But this was just a hurtful reminder, one I definitely didn’t need right now.

This combined with my struggle to not regress was not a great combo. With a last ditch effort I cleaned myself up as best as I could before walking out and looking in the mirror. But sad and terrible thoughts plagued my mind.

Tears started to run down my face. There was no holding back my regression now. Immediately I started to just regress, feeling smaller and smaller every minute. I just wanted JJ. I wanted her to hold me and tell me it’s all okay. Tell me I’m her sweet little boy and not-

“Y/n?” Spencer asked before entering the large bathroom. He immediately froze upon seeing me.

“Hey, what’s wrong? What happened?” I must’ve caused a domino effect because I could see Spencer regressing along with me.

“Nothing, I’m fine Spence.” I tried to say, wiping away my tears as fast as possible. But Spencer wasn’t buying it. He also didn’t seem to notice the issue which I was grateful for.

“I know something’s wrong. Let me help! I want to make sure you’re okay…please.” He put a hand in my shoulder and looked me in the eyes.

“I’m fine I just-…. P-Please…get mommy.” I said, barley a whisper. Tears starts to flow again, running down my face as I started to cry.

“It’s gonna be okay. I’ll go get her.” Spencer right away said. As much as he didn’t want to leave, he knew there was only one person who could fix whatever was happening.

~~~

JJ sat at her desk finishing up the last details on her case file. Even though they were still at work her careful Caregiver eyes spotted Y/n leaving the bullpen, and then Spencer right after.

A sinking feeling fell upon her that something was wrong, call it a Caregiver’s Spidey sense. She wishes for once she was wrong. Spencer came rushing over to her, worried and sad.

“M-…JJ, something’s wrong with Y/n.” He tried to explain sounding like his normal adult self. But his regression was in full swing and JJ could easily see it.

“What’s going on? Where is he sweetheart?” Now she was worried. A thousand questions played in her mind.

“The bathroom. I walked in to see if he was okay and I found him crying by the sink. I tried to help but he only asked for you.” Spencer explained.

JJ stood up from her desk and placed a comforting hand on Spencer’s shoulder. “Thank you for looking out for your little brother and making sure he’s okay. I’m going to take care of this, and while I’m gone I want you to go to Aunt Penelope’s office and keep her company. Okay?”

Spencer nodded. “Okay…but just-.” He stopped for a moment, looking up at JJ with tears in his eyes. “Just make sure he’s okay. I’m worried about him.”

She smiled and kissed the top of his head. “I know you are sweetheart. I promise I’ll make sure Y/N’s okay.”

With that small reassurance Spencer nodded and left heading towards Garcia’s office. With Spencer taken care of JJ turned her attention to the bathroom.

When she arrived she could hear Y/n soft cries and sniffing. She knocked on the door, “Y/N? It’s me baby, it’s Mommy. Can I come in?”

Even though it was a public bathroom filled with different stalls and sinks, she wanted permission to enter his space instead of barging in.

If she wasn’t listening as closely she could’ve missed the soft “You can come in.”

JJ immediately walked in and closed the main bathroom door behind her, locking it. If someone needed the bathroom they could go to the one a floor down. For right now they needed this space, just the two of them.

Once JJ and Y/N made eye contact, it was as if the world paused so the two of them could have a moment alone together.

Her heart shattered seeing Y/N so broken and upset. She instantly made her way over to her boy and wrapped him into a tight comforting hug.

“My baby boy, what’s wrong sweetheart? What’s happened?” She asked but didn’t get much in the way of a response.

Y/N just cried into JJ shoulder, finally getting the comfort he’s wanted after this long case.

JJ decided to help Y/N along with figuring out why he was so upset. She rubbed his back with one hand and played with his hair in the other. She could tell he wasn’t in the mode to talk and that was okay. Yes and no questions it was then.

“Did someone hurt you?” She asked. He shook his head against her.

“Did someone say something to you?” Another no from him.

Thank God those were two no’s. Because if they weren’t, she would’ve killed someone.

“Sweetheart,” She said pulling them apart and looking into his teary eyes. “I want to help you as best I can right now. But I can only do it when I know what’s going on. You don’t have to talk if you don’t feel like it right now. But you have to give me an idea what’s going on.” She explained.

Y/N nodded wearily. He turned around and pointed to his pants which now sadly had a small red blood stain on the back.

Immediately it all clicked into place for JJ. “Oh sweetheart I’m so sorry this happened. You’re okay baby boy, you’re okay.” She pulled him back up against her, holding him in a tight hug once more.

“Baby boy?” He broke apart and looked at JJ.

Her heart shattered at the question. She caressed his face and placed a kiss to the crown of his head, “You will always be my baby boy. This will not change that. It never has and it never will.”

More tears started to run down Y/N’s face hearing those words. JJ almost fell backwards by the force of the next hug he gave her.

“It’s okay baby. You’re okay. Mommy’s going to make it all better.” JJ said, rubbing his back to comfort him so more.

When the tears dried and his breath started to slow to a normal rate, JJ broke apart from her boy and wiped the last of the tears away.

“Here’s what we’re gonna do, I’m going to get you set up in the stall over here. Then I’m going to grab your bag and get you changed into something clean and comfortable. After that we’re going to get your brother and head home. Sound good?” She asked only to get a nod and a small smile from Y/N.

“Okay let’s get you set up then.” Taking his hand in hers, she led him over the the big stall in the bathroom. Inside was your standard public bathroom only this time with a changing table made especially for Littles.

“There,” she smiled. “Now, I’m going to grab your bag from my office. Keep the door locked okay?” That got another small nod from Y/N. With a small kiss to his head she left the stall, hearing a small click of the lock on the way out.

~~~

After JJ left the bathroom I felt uncomfortable again. She just made everything so safe and comfortable. Now without her here everything felt overwhelming, scary again.

But she wouldn’t be long. She just went to grab my bag and then we would go home. I couldn’t wait to be home again, laying on the couch with my favorite stuffie on one side and JJ on the other.

But my beautiful daydream was interrupted by the sound of someone entering the bathroom. Despite my stall door being closed, I backed myself far away from the door, my back hitting the wall.

This was a restroom, it would be ignorant of me to think no one else would use it. But I want to just be alone with JJ. Now with strangers walking into the space I felt more exposed and scared.

But the person who walked in stayed by the sinks. They didn’t walk into a stall or wash their hands. Before I had a moment to really question it further, the man spoke up.

“Hey kiddo it’s just Uncle Derek. Your mom just sent me in here to stop anyone from coming in. You doing alright in there?”

A wave of relief washed over me. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and wiped a few stray tears.

“M’ doing okay.” I managed to say.

“That’s good to hear. You just let me know if you need anything okay?”

I nodded my head. But then I realized he couldn’t see it so I added a quick: “okay.”

Uncle Derek was a life saver! Not once but twice people tried to enter the bathroom but he redirected them away. I’m couldn’t have been more happy to have him there to protect me.

After what felt like years but was only really 15 minutes JJ returned and relieved Morgan of his guard duties. He knocked on the door before leaving.

“See you when you get out kiddo.” He added before leaving the bathroom to JJ and I once more.

I heard the main door to the bathroom lock before JJ knocked on the stall door. I quickly ran over and opened it to her only to see my favorite stuffie in her arms!

“I’m sorry I took so long. I thought your bag was in my office but it turns out it was in my car. But guess who was also in there waiting for you?”

I immediately grabbed the stuffie and brought him close. Between him and JJ being back, everything started to feel calm again.

“Alright baby boy, let’s get you all sorted out.”

JJ opened the changing table, quickly cleaned and placed a cover on. Then she went over to me and helped me and my stuffie up onto it.

With that she started to get to work, taking my shoes off, then my pants and underwear. Then she helped clean up and before I knew it she was sliding a fresh pull-up on me followed by my emergency set of pants.

“There you go,” she said rubbing my belly. “All fresh and clean.”

Suddenly a sad thought came across my head. “Mommy, I can’t wear a pull-up.”

“Why not? You’re too young not to wear one.” She pointed out, making me feeling smaller.

“No, it’s just that…it’s going to have blood on it.”

JJ sighed. She sat me up and held my hand in mine. “I want you to listen to me for a second Y/N. I don’t mind taking care of you whether you’re on or off your period. That changes nothing about the fact you’re my little boy. Do you understand? I still love you the same and I will never see you different. You are and will forever be my baby boy.”

More tears found their way to my eye as she pulled me into a hug once more. I felt so much better now that I was changed, but even more so now that I felt accepted. No matter what anyone said or what my body said, I’m her little boy. Forever.

“Now,” she said breaking apart. “We gotta go catch up with your brother. He’s very worried about you. I’d say he’s so worried he might let you chose the movie we watch tonight.” JJ winked.

“Really?!” I said shocked. Tonight was his movie night choice. But he was gonna let me chose?!

“Really! And if we’re really lucky we might be able to convince Uncle Derek and Aunt Penelope to stay and watch it with us.” JJ added as she helped me down.

Hand in hand the two of us walked out of that bathroom. Once out we went to Aunt Penelope’s office and met up with Spencer again.

He stood up and ran over to me “Y/n! Are you okay? I’ve been so worried!” He wrapped me in a tight hug.

I smiled against his shoulder, “I’m okay Spence.”

“While you were gone I thought of the coolest game we can play when we get home!” Spencer added excitedly once we broke apart.

“I can’t wait!” I smiled back.

“Come on boys, it’s time to go home.” JJ said after talking to Garcia.

Spencer took one hand and JJ took the other as we left the BAU. My little family always knew how to make me feel appreciated and accepted. Caregiver and Little boy. Forever and always.

#age regression #age regressor #agere #agere little #sfw age regression #sfw agere #agere post #age regression fic #trans male reader #caregiver!jj #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds #little!reader #little!spencer Reid #sfw age regressor #agere sfw #sfw littlespace #little space

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peskytimeswithscar · 3 months

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ok it's headcanon time for.... grian!!!!

in regards to identity i view him as being aro-spec, while i could find a specific label i feel like c!grian wouldn't care much into finding that label, i think he'd prefer to just identify as being on the spectrum but he wouldn't really put in the time or effort into researching it

he also is asexual!! however im just asexual myself so all my blorbos must be asexual bc it feels. weird if not

and he's gay!!! gay man, gay gay homo (but actually this is mainly just because of yhs where he says hes "no im into dudes", plus i just cannot see c!grian with a woman that man is gay)

i also see him as being on the asensual (sensual attraction is the desire to touch others in a non-sexual way, e.g. cuddling, kissing, etc) spectrum !! mainly demi-asenflux because i feel like he would only like touch from people he's close + sometimes really doesn't want to be touched, but sometimes/alot of the time he really wants to and is the clingiest

he also gives off vibes of being on the aplatonic spectrum but i cannot think of anything in specific, maybe demiplatonic and cupioplatonic? i just feel like smth is up w this man's platonic orientation,, he def wants to have friends and is willing to do so but he only really feels platonic attraction whenever he's actually close to a person

i could probably go more into detail but those are the primary ones in my head for his sexuality so lets (finally) go onto GENDER!!!!

this man is definitely transgenderism!!! he identifies as a trans-man tho i do feel like his standards of being a man definitely differ to society's, he's most definitely gender non-conforming and he mainly wears androgynous or feminine clothing most of the time (though he only really wears skirts or dresses if hes cross-dressing as ariana griande)

he also probably is somewhere on the non-binary spectrum he just doesn't really identify with it

i feel like he primarily uses it/he pronouns? he definitely feels less than human due to his watcher roots so it got used to being called it/its, he also only is called she/her when he's cross-dressing as ariana griande, and if i had to give him some neoprns i feel like he'd enjoy chirp/chirp's? or some sort of parrot themed neopronouns

i also think he wouldn't get top surgery! it's easier for him not to since he only gets dysphoric over the shape they cause (which can easily be solved via a binder) instead of the actual chest itself

ok gender part over now it's time for some other headcanons

this man is definitely 100% neurodivergent, i feel like in particular he has adhd (this man cannot finish the back of his bases and gets distracted off tasks like a dog seeing a squrriel) and autism!!! i feel like he sometimes goes non-verbal (though i feel, as a parrot hybrid, when he's non-verbal he just ends up copying what other people are saying to him, so maybe that could be considered semi-verbal?), i think he would stim ALOT using his wings, he's happy and suddenly u have feathers everywhere because he flapped them alongside his hands

i think he would also have really bad rejection sensitive dysphoria, he definitely dislikes getting rejected from things which leads to him bottling alot of things up and causing plenty of the scarian miscommunication we're all too familiar with

he also stims with bird noises alot! he likes to chirp and squawk when he's happy, tho that may also just be because he's a parrot hybrid

he definitely changes hyperfixations like the wind, one week he likes this one thing and another he likes this other thing, and i feel like he would only really have 1 or 2 special interests that actually stick around (one of them likely being architecture/building, the other probably being birds and such)

he tends to have a very changing routine and schedule due to his adhd HOWEVER he has some routines (mainly with scar in them, who prefers to have very set routines cause that man also has autism) which never change or both of them get stressed out (e.g. morning/night routine, a routine that started in the desert and then followed them onto hermitcraft - they both get very stressed out on the life series since it disrupts their routines)

this was.... alot more text than i was expecting to write but anyway!!! expect a scar one at some point

#3lscar.txt #peskytimes /r #scarian #(mentioned/implied)#grian #grianmc #hermitcraft grian #life series grian #grian headcanons #the silly #hermitcraft headcanons #im ngl i fully realised i myself am demiplatonic whilst writing this #thanks grian goodtimes

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alexissara · 5 months

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Trans Awareness and Remembrance

Being trans is something special, it means so many things to so many people and even people who should feel the same things the internal sense of something can still be so wildly different. Being trans is a core part of who I am, not just in that a core part of who I am is a woman but that being trans is a core part of me as well. I've often said if I was AFAB I'd probably say that my gender was just Lesbian but given the cards I was dealt with at birth being a woman and a lesbian are both important to me.

For me, coming out as trans was a long journey from when I found out about trans woman, and the reason it took so long was because of my status as a lesbain. It was the early internet, I lied about my age online so I could access age gated websites doing my best to type and behave like an adult to not get caught. I enter a fourm for trans women and gender change fetishists. Here, I learned more in detail about trans women. However, early 2000s internet trans women were 200% what we in the modern day would call truescum. You had to desire many surgeries, be utterly dysphoric, and the biggest barrier for me, you had to be straight. I fought back, and I was a passionate defender of trans lesbains on that fourm and around the net, but I did internalize it. I didn't want to be a woman, I wasn't a woman, I liked women. If I got with women, I'd not want to magically wake up as one, I'd stop fixating over ways to become a woman, at least beyond the way it had become a fetish. So I did, I dated a lot of women in my freshmen year of high school, I was always chasing after girls, especially bi women and women who wanted to dress me up like a girl. At the end of my freshman year, I would get with my current Fiancée who would explore their own gender and sexuality along with me.

I would spend several years convincing myself my desires were just a fetish even my telling my partner about my fetish came out in weepy tears as if I was coming out as trans because at that point I had to tie that to my identity, it was something that consumed a lot of my time with roleplays and what not becoming my central light in my life where I could play a woman or play someone becoming a woman. I'd eventually meet my long time long distance GFs through and through her status and a out trans woman started to push me towards finally leaving behind the pretext of fetish to explain my deep depression, my deep longing and my deep desire. After many years of concealing and doing my best to not be feeling my Fiancé and GF had a little intervention for me. They talked to me about being non binary and about my own transness and that I was probably trans and that both of them would happily accept me and that it was okay for me to be myself. I rejected it that night but the very next morning, I looked into the mirror, realized I couldn't keep up what I was doing and came out as gender fluid to them.

It would take a bit longer for me to admit what I had known since I was in middle school and first saw the world Trans Woman, when I first read Ramana 1/2, when I saw the body swap episodes of TV shows, that I wanted to be a girl, to have a woman's body, to live in community with other women and be a woman, that I was a woman and I had pushed it back for so long. I'd go to a university therapist to get formally diagnosed with gender dysphoria, I did get it and a letter of recommendation for a gender change and for getting on meds. I would start soon after and never look back. I spent so long doubting that once I was on the path to being a woman it was clear to me.

At that point being a lesbian seemed pretty obvious to me, it would take me a while to be set on what kind of asexual I was and before accepting I was trans I did for a few years ID as bisexual just because I knew I was some kind of queer but it was really just me trying to find a way to be in community while not being able to express my other aspects of queerness yet. I did talk about my label with my partner who was on his own gender journey but they were insistent that me being a lesbian didn't invalidate their own non binary masculinity or make them feel bad so I finally reached the point I had wanted to hit all those years ago, being a Lesbian and a trans woman.

I explain all this just to say to other people who might feel like because their sexuality or whatever else they can't be a woman, that they need to be some platonic ideal of the average cis/het white woman to be a trans woman it isn't true. You can be your true self whatever sexuality you have and whatever presentation you might want and anything else. You get to decide what being a woman means to you. It's worth being yourself even when I was in the pit of Texas, even when I lost family, I never regrated being myself, I finally wanted to be alive and I would trade any danger for the enjoyment of the living.

#trans awareness #transgender awareness week #TDOV #Trans #Transgender #Transbian #Trans Lesbian #Queer #Lesbian #Personal

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robsth0r · 1 year

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Stark Party (Loki x Trans!Male!Reader)

A/N: Here we got some Loki x Trans!Male!Reader content. Enjoy!

Warnings: Gender dysphoria, misgendering.

Word Count: 1273

“Y/n, are you in there?” I hear Natasha’s voice from outside my bathroom. I hesitate a bit as I walk out of the shower.

“Yes! I just finished bathing. I'll be out in a second.” I quickly dry myself and put on the clothes I had taken with me into the bathroom, which is a long sleeved white shirt and a pair of black cargo pants.

As I walk out of the bathroom still drying my hair I see Natasha standing in a beautiful maroon dress all done for the party Tony is having.

“Looks like you're trying to impress someone?” I say with a smirk knowing the feelings Natasha has had for Maria the last half a year. She blushes a little looking down before stretching out her arm in the direction of my closet suggesting that I should find an outfit and take it on. I walk in the direction of the closet trying to decide in my head what colors I was going for.

As I walk into my walk-in closet I look around at the clothes trying to decide what it was gonna be this time. I think back to the first party with the Avengers. I had chosen to wear a suit mostly dark green and black, Loki’s colors. It was not even thought through but I had liked the extra attention and compliments from Loki when it came to my outfit and the color scheme.

Snapping out of my thoughts I decide that I’ll go for the dark green theme again, maybe even taking on some gold as well. Taking on the chosen green casual suit set I look in the mirror walking out of the closet to Natasha refreshening her red lipstick.

She looks at me in the mirror, her eyes lighting up when she sees me. She turns around quickly, being done with the lipstick. Smirking, she says, “Well I’m not the only one that’s onto something.” I blush and look down, knowing exactly what she’s talking about.

She grabs a hold of my arm pulling me in the direction of the makeup-station she had created while I was changing clothes. Natasha starts applying makeup on my face.

I never have had a good relationship with makeup as it makes me dysphoric quite easily and also brings back traumas from my hyper feminizing eras. Don’t get me wrong I love makeup and dresses and all that stuff but it is not just make up or dresses in the eyes of trans people. At least not while feeling masculine. It holds much more trauma than I wish it did because when I look at Loki rocking eyeliner in a masc way I will try eyeliner myself but looking at the reflection I will just be seeing the girl I have tried hard to get out of my life.

“And~ done!” I nervously open my eyes looking at the reflection afraid I might look at the girl I hate but I look at my reflection and for the first time in so long I feel comfortable with makeup on. The sight is a lot to me and I sigh in relief of the handsome boy staring back.

Natasha noticed my sudden change in body language and smiled knowing she did a good job. I stare at the reflection not wanting to look away and just take in every inch of the boy staring back. I force my eyes to look up at Nat.

“Thanks… I should have asked you to do my make up long ago!” I say smiling, catching myself starting to tear up. Nat just nods slowly with a smile upon her lips. I turn around in the chair standing up readying myself mentally for the party.

“Would you be a gentleman and lead me to the party?” Nat asks with a smirk tilting her head slightly to the side. Gentleman. I smile and take her arm in mine walking out of my room and down the long hallway in the direction of the elevator.

When we reach the elevator it stops at our floor. As the elevator doors open it reveals Sam and Bucky standing talking probably on the way to find Steve. Walking into the elevator both Sam and Bucky check Nat out Sam of course being the most obvious.

“Looking good widow.” Sam says with a grin forming on his face as he walks out. Bucky smiles at me on his way out and I smile back awkwardly.

“You look good too buddy.” Bucky says squishing my shoulder.

When the elevator door closes my smile falters a little just for a second but Nat sees it anyway. She smiles at me reassuringly and the elevator goes down.

~Time skip~

On the way to the party after Nat and I got out the elevator we ran into a whole bunch of people. First off we found Thor which really is not hard when he is at least 6’4 and talks very loudly. Then Coulson, Barton and… Fury, which had me questioning a lot. I also spotted Elon Musk over in the corner together with some business people. Then we met Maria and that was when Nat departed from me. I am now sitting alone on one of the bars chairs drinking my well deserved drink.

This party has already been a total flop for me. Well besides from the acknowledging nod from Loki at the beginning of the party. People have either been ignoring me which I am fine with most of the time but not when it’s my friends, or I have been misgendered. I don’t find myself that feminine. I shouldn’t have put on the make up anyways.

Sitting deep in thought, I don't even realize when Loki takes the seat next to me.

"Hello, Y/n," he says with a small smile.

I turn to him, surprised. "Oh, hi Loki," I say, trying to hide my shock.

"I see you've gone for a green theme tonight," he says, gesturing towards my outfit.

I nod. "Yeah, I guess I have."

Loki leans in a bit closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "You know, green is the color of envy."

I raise an eyebrow, not sure where he's going with this. That was definitely not the comment I had thought of when I went with the colors.

"Envy is a powerful emotion, Y/n," he continues, "It can drive a person to do great things, or it can consume them entirely."

I nod slowly, not sure where this is going.

"You seem to be struggling with something," Loki says, his eyes searching mine. "Is it the makeup?"

I hesitate before nodding. "Yeah, I guess it is."

Loki nods understandingly. "I know how that feels. But you should know that makeup doesn't define who you are. You are so much more than just your appearance."

I look at him, surprised by his words. I never thought I would find myself seeking advice from the god of mischief.

Loki continues. "It's okay to experiment and explore different aspects of yourself. But don't let it define you. You are more than just your gender identity."

I nod slowly, taking in his words. "Thank you, Loki. I needed to hear that."

Loki smiles at me before standing up. "I have to go find Thor now. But remember what I said, Y/n. You are more than just your appearance."

As he walks away, I can't help but feel a sense of gratitude towards him. I take another sip of my drink, feeling a bit better. Maybe this party won't be such a flop after all.

#loki #loki x reader #marvel #marvel fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #fandom #trans reader #trans male #trans #male reader #x reader #yn #reader insert #natasha romanoff #sam wilson #bucky barnes #steve rogers #tony stark

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niki-phoria · 1 year

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pairing: tattoo artist!dabi x trans male!reader genre: comfort word count: 570

tw: mentions of a self harm relapse, dysphoria

a/n: had a bad week so enjoy big brother figure dabi

the cold air stings your face as you bury your hands deeper into your pockets. the night air has never been forgiving as you rush through desolate streets.

the lights of dabi's studio are still on but the sign has been turned off. you can see him moving around behind the tainted windows.

"hey kid," dabi calls as you push the door open. you grab the keys from where they sit on the receptionist counter, locking the door behind you.

further into the shop, dabi is cleaning the chair from a previous client. you sigh, leaning back against the brick wall that separates the chair from the rest of the shop. dabi doesn't even glance at you, continuing to wipe down his setup. "you alright?"

you sigh. "i… i don't know." dabi sets the cleaning solution aside and walks over to you. he lifts your chin so you're looking up at him, contemplating for a second before pulling out some ink and vaseline.

"something happen?" you shake your head.

"no, just a bad day, i guess. i've been dysphoric lately." dabi hums, gesturing for you to sit in the chair. you do, rolling up your sleeve for him. dabi tattooing you is a common occurrence, especially to starve off a relapse, but he's always let you pick out a design first. "which one are you doing?"

"koi fish." he murmurs as he shaves your arm. you watch in silence as he presses the stencil against your skin, waiting for you to check it over before he begins tattooing.

"why a koi fish?"

dabi stays silent for a minute before he replies. "koi fish symbolize prosperity, luck, and perseverance. you seen like you could use some."

he finishes the tattoo quickly, wiping off the excess ink and blood. "you feeling better?"

"i still feel… bad. i guess. about myself."

"why don't you try one on me? keep your mind off of things."

"you want me to tattoo you?" dabi has never particularly cared about the ink covering his skin, but you didn't think it would extend to letting a completely inexperienced teenage boy put a permanent fish on him.

dabi simply shrugs. "why not?"

"okay."

you clean the chair down again before dabi sits down in it. "press the stencil down and then peel it up," he instructs. you nod, angling the design so it flows with his body. "the machine is already set and everything. don't worry too much, okay?"

"alright," you say, angling your hands so the needle hovers over his forearm.

tattooing is more difficult than you had expected. you've grown accustomed to the noise after years of watching dabi, but feeling the machine vibrating in your hand is a foreign experience. you move much slower than dabi, careful not to go too deep or too light. your neck hurts from how close you've been hunched over by the time you pull away the final time. dabi turns his arm, examining your work as you prepare the saniderm.

"not bad, kid," he reaches over to pat your head.

you bite back a smile as you help him clean up again. "thanks."

"why don't you stay here tonight? i've got a spare mattress over there."

"are you sure?" dabi simply hums. "thank you. really."

"anything for you. i'm glad you came to me."

"i am too." you murmur, following him up the stairs into the loft where he sleeps.

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detransdamnation · 10 months

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A very common argument against educators keeping a student's (trans)gender identity a secret from parents is that it opens up a window for said students to be groomed because it sets a precedent that their parents or guardians are not to be trusted (at best) or that they are unsafe or abusive (at worst). To make the record very clear, I don't disagree—but I also think that the raw, unnuanced stance tends to ignore the fact that many parents are indeed untrustworthy, or unsafe, or abusive.

Many dysphoric and transgender youth grow up in abusive homes—in fact, many detransitioners, including myself, cite this as one of the main reasons on as to why they went on to develop dysphoria—and there are many parents who would use their child's dysphoria or proposed gender identity as ammo to further that abuse. I know because I was one of those children. My family was infuriated when I told them that I had dysphoria. My family discussed forcing me into clothes I was not comfortable in, activities I did not like, and heterosexual relationships I did not want with the explicit intent to "cure" me. It wasn't until the week I started my medical transition that they actually started to be a little bit okay with the thought of their child being transgender—and not because transition was something that would help me but because it would stop me from being, in their eyes, a burden on them.

My family were not emotionally safe people to know about my dysphoria, even though I was dealing with it in unhealthy ways, because they explicitly used my mental fragility against me. My home was never a safe place. Why, then, would it have been okay for my educators to—hypothetically—tell my family that I had been going by a different name within my inner circle years before my "actual" transition, all while knowing nothing about what I actually went through behind closed doors? We so often ask transgender people, "Why do you allow gender to hold so much power over you?"—but we so rarely ask ourselves, "Why do we allow nicknames and clothing"—(all gender identity and presentation is for the vast majority of these teens)—"to hold so much power over us as to justify playing tattletale, even to the extent of breaching student/counselor 'confidentiality,' to parents whose children may very well be keeping this information from them for very good reason?"

Controversial stance, though it may be—but it is through my own lifelong experience of abuse that I strongly believe that parents do not have an innate, deserved right to know anything and everything about their child just by virtue of being their parents. We cannot acknowledge the rates of abuse that dysphoric youth so often face whilst also conveniently forgetting in these such discussions that most abuse, in most cases, is perpetrated by immediate family members, especially parents, thus rendering these people potentially unsafe people to tell. Either way, these teenagers are hurting—and we can either bite our tongues and create a space where they feel they can safely work through that pain, or we can make their suffrage a political "parental rights" issue, very possibly causing even more suffrage inadvertently and further encouraging them to suffer alone, in silence, or in unhealthy echo chambers.

We must talk about the ways in which dysphoric youth are vulnerable. In doing so, we must also address the fact that danger most often comes from within the home.

#i don't usually make posts like these unprompted #but the topic came up on my dash recently and it triggered something in me #this is poorly written and doesn't encapsulate every single nuance of the situation nor every single crux of my beliefs #i just needed to get it out #just talking to myself #gender critical #writing #text #my post

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heavensmortuary · 1 year

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Hi there side B friend!! came here from Robin's poll; do you mind giving any suggestions around reducing dysphoria, if you experience it? The blog I only recently set up that deals with this aspect of me is @dysphoric-sideb (....or something like that I can't remember the username order oop) but it's a sideblog and I don't want to reveal my main, hence I'm on anon.

God bless you :)

howdy there! I do experience dysphoria (mainly things that go beyond she/her, he/him, they/them, such as feeling like nothing/absent altogether), and I do wish I was better at reducing it, but it's still a very big struggle unfortunately. I don't have very good advice on the subject because I really haven't found anything that helps for more than a short period of time. However! A short period of time is better than nothing, so here goes:

Physical labor, such as working on something a bit difficult like yard work, farm work, or helping build things, and it's that's not an option, running or even something as simple as dancing around. I found that the more rigorous the better, because it tends to remind that you have a body and that the body is good. I highly recommend gardening and yard work, because it's moving forward with a goal in mind and you have to work hard to accomplish said goal and make full use of your body. Another is making something with your hands. Be it working on a physical painting, or fixing something mechanical, it helps remind that your body is good. Again, if this isn't an option, feel free to discard! It's just the thing that helps me most

On a related note, making sure I spend a good amount of time if I have it (like on weekends) outside, almost entirely focused on textures around me. Being inside or at work for a long long time with absolutely no break makes dysphoria much worse. Taking the time to feel the textures around is good, like picking up pebbles and holding leaves, anything that helps ease feelings of mind/body/gender dissociation.

Dressing well helps too, even if I'm at home. Meaning if I'm wearing clothes that are easy to throw on, I usually pair it with something nice. I don't know really why it helps in my opinion, but it does at least.

This sounds a bit silly, but it helps on the daily at lease in my own experience, to make a character/oc that is the gender I already am, and make them pretty cool or able to be who I'd like to be, not gender wise. I guess that's a persona or something? I've found that being able to make stories with a character already like I already am, instead of a character with the pronouns I would like to identify with, helps center myself, feel real and capable, and not feel as trapped. Otherwise connecting with a character who's gender is what I'd like to be makes things worse :lc at least in my own experience

Another one that sounds silly but has helped imo, is simply listening to stories in real life. Ask people to tell you a story about their lives or history or something. Old folks are the best about this. Collect real experiences close to your heart, and you'll feel more connected with people, even gender wise. I don't know really how to explain it I guess, but hearing real things genuinely helps focus in on what's really important in life as creation. sorry if this doesn't make sense lol

I wish I had more specific advice, since most of this is obvious and mainly helps with general quality of life, but if your quality of life is better, so is your mental health, and so is your dysphoria. God bless you too! I do hope some of these is at least a bit helpful to you

#asks #anon #krakens croaks

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stinetoftdk · 2 months

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I hate having dysphoric meltdowns… By getting misgendered and having the wrong pronouns used about me. I know I can’t do shit about it, because it’s a young autistic boy, about 10 years old, who haven’t learned social rules and may not even be able to.

He’s a part of my karate team and I can’t just quit, because I need my martial arts to be able to regulate my emotions and be functional myself.

I don’t know how to communicate what it does to my and why it’s important that it has to stop. Allistics, don’t understand autism, how are they gonna understand what being transgender means or what intersex means.

I don’t know how to protect myself.

I feel that being open and honest about what I am and who I am, has landed me in a situation where I am getting punished for it.

He knows, I am a girl and he knows I am intersex. Why does he have to say that I am a “man” and a “he”.. and when the other children corrects him, then I’m an “it” or a “that”.

Why can’t I just be me, to other people?

Why do I have to be something else?

I know that what children say, often comes from adults.. is it that the same with other autistics?

How do I reach out to others… I don’t understand why it is necessary to be nasty towards me… I don’t even want to have anything to do with people outside the internet anymore… There should be a block button, so I don’t have to deal with people who feel that they must re-catagorize me as everything that I’m not.

I should never have been open and just have insisted on compeeting based on my lawful gender, and not try to go for at fair approach….

I shouldn’t have to get punished for wanting to get paired up with people I have the most in common with physically….

I don’t get it… What If I started to speak about other people in ways, that would upset them… Maybe it’s just better to be alone… No one would understand it anyway.

Maybe it would be better to just not be here anymore… If I’m not enough of a freak for being trans, well then I can always be reduced to an it, for being intersex.

I don’t want this anymore

So, I actually wished for the first time in my life, that I had been born a boy, ..

Autistic boys can't generally mask, so then my brain wouldn't force me to act like a boy... And I could be free, but then again a male born trans women is mentally a girl, so I'm not even sure, I could escape my masking that way, because autism is about brain chemistry.

My brain is properly going to force be to mask masculine behaviour, for the rest of my life, whenever I'm in social setting.

So my only escape will be self isolation and only communicate through the internet.

#trans community #transgender #transgirl #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq community #intersex #intersex community #tgirl #autism #autistic adult

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jadethest0ne · 1 year

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How did you figure you were a they/them? If too personal, feel free to ignore this

Yeah, no problem, I'm opening to answering this!

To be honest, it took me a LONG while to figure it out, even though when looking back on it a lot of signs were there (I was in my late 20s when I sat down and slowly put the pieces together). The main one being that growing up I never really liked things associated with my assigned gender. I would also often wear clothes more commonly worn by the opposite gender. But aside from not having the vocabulary for or knowledge about what I was feeling at the time, I think the thing that kept me back the most from finding out that I was genderqueer was the fact that I never felt particularly dysphoric about my body or myself. I'm still pretty happy with the body that I happen to have been born with.

The "ah ha" moment was realizing that it's gender euphoria more than dysphoria that is an indicator of gender queerness. I realized that folks "mistaking" me for the opposite gender made me really happy. I got kind of excited that I could confuse people in that way. Online, using "they/them" for people you don't know is much more common, and when I saw people using those pronouns for me, that also made me feel happy.

Though, to be clear, I'm actually fine with people using he/him and she/her with me as well. I prefer they/them in general because it is the most ambiguous pronoun set, and I like the anonymity it affords me when online, but gendered pronouns are cool with me, too (I know that's not the case with everyone, but that is the case with me).

What I've found is that it's kind of like how cats are with boxes. I hated being forced into the box of my assigned gender. But if you just left the box out, along with boxes of other pronouns/genders, I might hop into all of them from time to time if left on my own. I think the importance is more if it's my decision to play in the boxes or not. Otherwise, I feel no need to really present as any specific gender. I'm not one for that kind of "performance" so to speak, I like just being me and comfortable in my own skin.

So in short, it's the combination of not really liking the box that I was placed in as a kid and feeling happy when people refer to me with gender neutral pronouns that made me realize that I was non-binary. Everyone is different, but those were the indicators for me.

Hope this helps anyone questioning or just interested! Thanks for the ask!

#gender #genderqueer #genderqueerness #non binary #lgbt #ask #jadethest0ne

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realmoonee · 2 years

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can u do matt sturniolo x transmasc reader who’s feeling dysphoric? just him being comforting and reassuring :)

thank you so much for requesting!!

i genuinely love this idea sm bc we need more trans reader + the sturniolos yknow <3

I'm also incredibly sorry for the long wait, writers block is very real. Anyways happy pride month everyone ‼️

content warnings: dysphoria, that's all

Matt sturniolo x transmasc reader (PLATONIC)

You had been visiting LA with the triplets and Maddie for a few days. It was normal for you to go with them, as you had known the boys since your freshman year of high school.

You had changed since then, and you grew as a person and realized you were not a girl, and you did not want to be perceived as a girl. In your junior year of high school, you came out as a transgender male and you were thankful that the people around you had accepted you.

Now, you and the others were at the swimming pool that was close to your hotel room. The sun had just began to set and every you looked there was a soft, yellow-orange glow. It was beautiful honestly, and it was perfect for taking photos. Everybody else looked almost ethereal in their photos, and then there was you.

Somehow your brain had always found away to pick apart every photo of you and make you hate it. You didn’t like your jawline; it wasn’t sharp enough. You didn’t like your body; your hips were too wide. When you were in the boys’ Youtube videos, you absolutely despised the way your voice sounded. You grew silent as the others laughed and enjoyed themselves.

You were sitting in one of two poolside seats. You were sat next to Matt, and you were both facing Nick and Maddie. Chris was sitting at your table with the umbrella coming out from the center. And the envy you got from the triplets was unmatched. You wanted to be able to walk around shirtless like Chris, you wanted to be as tall as Nick, and you wanted to speak softly but still be seen as masculine like Matt. Their flat chests, boyish charm, and the fact that they had boy childhoods made you so incredibly jealous. Not just jealous.

It made you feel so incredibly dysphoric.

“Guy’s, I think I’m gonna turn in for-for the night.” You spoke up.

Nick looked at you.

“Why? It’s barely night. Is something wrong?”

“No, it’s just, I don’t feel very well. I’m going back to the room.” you said before grabbing your cell phone and sliding it into your pocket.

“Do you want one of us to go with you?” Madi suggested.

“No. It’s fine, I can go myself.” you said as you started walking.

“I’ll be ready in time for Denny’s though!” you called towards them from a distance.

“Good!” Madi yelled back.

You silently went back to your hotel room. As you entered the bathroom and saw yourself in the mirror, you felt so dysphoric. You placed your hand on your jaw, and turned your head. You tried to make the best of your situation by going over the gender-affirming things that have happened while you were here. At the grocery store, the cashier said “Have a good one, man.” which was good, Earlier that day, a woman had referred to you and Chris as “young men” which felt amazing. This thinking and recalling wasn’t doing enough, and you still felt too feminine. You hated it. You were snapped out of your thoughts when you heard the door begin to open.

You stepped out of the bathroom to go see who had entered, and it was Matt.

“Oh- Hey dude. I just came here because you left your sunglasses on the table.

He held out your glasses. You picked them up and muttered a small “thanks”.

“Be honest. What’s wrong.” he said abruptly.

It caught you off guard, but you knew he had good intentions.

“Dysphoria.” you finally admitted, your posture tense and stressed.

Right as you finished your sentence, Matt was hugging you. His arms were wrapped around you tightly and you felt yourself become less tense.

"I know it's tough, and I'm sorry, man." he said before quickly pulling away.

Somehow, Matt always appeared to know what you needed when you were feeling dysphoric. A hug, comforting words, or just some company.

"Would you like to talk about it?" he asked, looking directly into your eyes.

You thought about it for a second, then shook your head slowly.

"Okay, uhm-" he furrowed his brows in thought. “Would you like a pep talk? Would that even help right now? I’m sorry if it doesn’t-”

“Yes. That would help.” you looked him in the eyes.

Matt was always trying his best when it came to your dysphoria, even if he had no idea what he was actually “supposed” to tell you. Miraculously, he’d always get it right.

“Okay, sit there and listen to me.” he gestured to the high chair near the kitchen counter top.

The two of you were seated next to each other, and Matt began speaking again.

“I know you probably feel like shit right now, and you do not deserve it at all. I’m very sorry that you feel like this, but I need you to remember that the way you’re feeling- everything you’re feeling right now- is temporary. Pretty soon you’ll be feeling better than a mother fucker, and we’ll be back home in Boston.” he said, his eyes meeting with yours every few seconds.

Your lips curled into a smile as his sentence ended.

“Listen man, I love you like you're my own brother, you know that. I need you to know that we're the same. We think the same, we dress the same, hell- we even talk the same sometimes. You aren't afraid to stand up for people and sometimes- you're more of a man than I am.” he turned his head to look at you, signaling that his pep talk was done.

You let what Matt had just told you settle into your mind. He thought you were more of a man then him. You felt your eyes almost wet, but you stood up and hugged him before tears could fall.

"Thank you, Matt. That's exactly what I needed to hear." you mumbled as you held him close.

He wrapped his arms around you and rubbed up and down your back.

"It's no problem, I'm here for you. Always." He replied.

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #platonic #imagines #matt sturniolo x reader #transmasc reader #matt sturniolo x male reader platonic

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redtail-lol · 1 year

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Aneuphoric Spectrum Masterpost

I've coined something wholly original. The aneuphoric spectrum! For people who don't feel gender euphoria or feel it in a way that is lessened and/or under unusual conditions. Cisgender people, transgender people, and people who identify as neither are allowed to use these labels.

Aneuphoric Spectrum (Aneuspec) Flag

For all people who are on the aneuphoric spectrum

Neuroeuphoric Spectrum

For all people who's experience of gender euphoria is influenced by their neurodivergency, mental illnesses, mental disorders, or anything else in that general category. I do not have the time to type out all of that for further neuro definitions so I will be referring to neurodivergency for shortand's sake, but everything else in the category of the listed above is also included. Neuroeuphoric people may or may not be aneuspec

Aneuphoric

Someone who, no matter what labels, names, pronouns, presentations, or other transitions they try, never feel gender euphoria. They can feel a sense of plain comfort but don't experience the euphoric feeling that others would.

Neuroaneuphoric

Someone who is aneuphoric as a result of their neurodivergency

Grayeuphoric

Someone who feels partially aneuphoric but not fully; includes a lot of experiences, such as someone who only feels a low, weak sense of euphoria, someone who's only able to get euphoria from a few limited things, or any of the other aneuspec labels.

Neurograyeuphoric

Someone who is grayeuphoric because of theur neurodivergency

Invereuphoric

Someone who experiences euphoria only from things that would seem "in contradiction" to their gender identity, however other labels do not feel right; for example a man getting gender euphoria from being called she/her or a nonbinary person getting gender euphoria from presenting hyperfemininely. People who are invereuphoric may or may not consider themselves aneuspec.

Neuroinvereuphoric

Someone who is invereuphoric because of their neurodivergency

Frayeuphoric

Someone who may get euphoria from a certain name, pronoun set, and/or presentation, but that euphoria fades after some time even when their gender identity doesn't. They may seek a new name, pronoun set, and/or presentation, or they may stay content.

Neurofrayeuphoric

Someone who is frayeuphoric because of their neurodivergency

Quoieuphoric

Someone who is unsure what gender euphoria feels like or if they feel it at all.

Neuroquoieuphoric

Someone who is quoieuphoric because of their neurodivergency

Somnieuphoric

Someone who can experience gender euphoria in their dreams but cannot in the real world

Neurosomnieuphoric

Someone who is somnieuphoric because of their neurodivergency

Aneuflux or Aneufluid

Someone who's experience of euphoria is fluid, and usually or always on the aneuphoric spectrum. Could also describe someone who sometimes or rarely feels gender euphoria and sometimes or usually does not.

Neuroaneuflux or Neuroaneufluid

Someone who is aneuflux or aneufluid because of their neurodivergency

These terms are open to all people regardless of personal beliefs. As always, I believe it's up to you if you want to use my labels and flags, given my personal beliefs, and not something I should gatekeep. However, these terms may NOT be used to invalidate non dysphoric trans people by saying they're actually just aneuphoric, aneuspec, or invereuphoric. If an identity gives you euphoria, then you are probably that identity. If a truscum/transmed IDed with one of these terms because it really resonated with them and they use it in good faith I couldn't care less, but using these terms in bad faith to hurt others is not okay.

I coined these because I'm quoieuphoric. Quoieuphoric was actually the first one coined. I heard all the time that a lack of euphoria is what defines being transgender, which implies the average cisgender person would feel gender euphoria. I do not, however even the thought of not labeling myself as a woman caused me discomfort, and I've experienced minor dysphoria for having a trait not as aligned with my AGAB as it could be. Being a girl doesn't feel euphoric, just... Comfortable. However this could just be me being used to the feeling of euphoria as a cis person, so whether I am experiencing gender euphoria at any given time is never clear.

[Transcript: PLEASE: •Check my pinned before following •DNI: Pedos, zoos, people seeking discourse, solicitors, and anyone seeking a relationship with me. End transcript.]

#gender euphoria #lack of euphoria #aneuphoric #aneuspec #mogai label #mogai identity #lgbt label #lgbt identity #queer label #queer labels #queer identity #gender #coined term #mogai coining #lgbt coining

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