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#tw self harm
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TW: SH
bpd culture is self-harming but not as punishment, just because it's the only thing that can clear your head and calm you down during a meltdown.
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ineffectualdemon · 2 days
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There isn't a whole lot of advice for if you're dissociating really badly and desperately need to ground yourself in a way that isn't dangerous
Most self harm advice covers being depressed or an emotional reason for wanting to self harm (which I have had in the past but that's not relevant to this)
Not a lot of advice for: "I am so desperate to feel connected to reality that I think bashing my head against the wall is a suitable solution"
The name 5 things isn't super helpful if you're alone and spiraling and dissociating heavily
Also I'm sorry most of them prompted by apps are stupid and don't work for me
It's usually like "name 5 colours" "name five yellow things" and the "name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can taste" which doesn't really work for me either
I think I feel babied and it irritates me
It worked better when my husband started asking me things like "name 5 whales" or "name five words that end in N" because it makes me actually think about my answers so I might pop in a small notebook and have him help me come up with questions
(Btw he asked me "5 words that start with P" and my answers included both patchouli and patriarchy)
I do better with physical sensations
So when I remembered I had a spiky ring i used that but I'm going to order more and a bigger one I can squeeze and roll about
I should probably try to find something better to bite. Tbh I need a chewerly item that has the right amount of give to really sink my teeth into
Most are too hard and hurt my jaw
Is it weird to say it needs the consistency of a human finger?
Other things I'm including is a gummy candy with a strong taste and some lavender facemasks because smell really helps but most perfumes give me a headache. A face mask though will hopefully feel like something on my face and will smell strongly but not in a migraine way
Does anyone have any other suggestions of things to ground me in reality that are helpful keeping in mind my mobility is very limited
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polteergeistt · 23 hours
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Atlantic
TW : suicide, blood, graphic description, guilt, hospital, major character death. It's nasty and sad.
Damien finds Vessel in a critical situation. He is quick to be sent to the hospital. Damien wonders if there was anything he could do.
For this fic it would've been better to use Vessel's real name because his family doesn't call him that but I will NOT use it so whenever a family member calls him Vessel pretend it's his real name.
Damien kept turning in his bed. He couldn't shake the feeling of discomfort that made all of his limbs just wrong. Several years earlier, he would have sought his mother, or perhaps his brother, but as his dad said, he had to stop being a wus. He was becoming a man, and he had to act like it.
The boy got out of bed and left his room. He could walk in the dark across the corridor with ease. He let his hand guide him, trailing along the barrier around the staircase. He quietly made his way to the bathroom. He stepped in and turned on the light, about to reach for a cup and pour himself some tap water, but then he saw him.
Vessel.
On the floor. Unmoving.
The carpets were stained with dark red blood. A few painkillers were scattered across the floor. The sink had lost its white uniform color, covered in blood that was starting to dry, a razor blade at the bottom. Vessel's form was still on the carpets in a position that seemed very uncomfortable. Blood was gushing from his slit-opened wrists. He wasn't breathing.
No no no no ! This couldn't be happening !
Damien let out a scream that tore his throat, matching his heart that felt like it was collapsing in his chest. His eyes stung as tears flooded them, so much that they were quick to spill. He fell to his knees and shook the lifeless body of his brother by the shoulders.
"Vessel wake up ! Vessel !! VESSEL !!!"
Damien's chest was shaken by violent sobs as he cradled him. In panic, he grabbed bandages and wrapped them around Vessel's limp wrists. It was a messy job, but the blood was now staining the bandages alone. His hands were shaking and he could only breathe through broken cries and gasps.
No. No. Please. Stay with me. Please.
When the ambulance arrived, everything went very fast.
They took Vessel's body and left. It was hard for Damien to let go of him, but with his life at stake, he couldn't get himself in the way of those who actually had a chance to save him. His mother hopped in the car and Damien went with her. She told him to stay home, but out of sheer panic, he quite litterally yelled at her, begging to come with her. The might of his demand convinced her. When they arrived at the hospital, they had to stay in the waiting room for what felt like hours. Damien was holding a fabric tissue to his face, covering his lower face, blowing his nose occasionally and wiping his tears that just couldn't stop flowing. It might've been the middle of the night, but he couldn't bring himself to sleep even if he wanted to. And that's when he started to spiral down.
Please... Don't go... Don't leave...
Damien couldn't help but wonder. How could he not see the signs ? Wasn't he supposed to be there for Vessel like Vessel was there for him ? He should've known. He should've been there sooner. He should've checked on him more. He should've seen the signs. He should've been aware. If Vessel died tonight, he would be responsible for it. He felt sick. His throat tightened at the thought. It felt like his ribs had grown spikes and they were inching into heart slowly but painfully. He honestly believed he deserved a few slaps, a quite kind punishment for how badly he failed his brother.
Am I not worth living for ? Am I not enough ?
The minutes stretched into hours. They were invited into a room from which they could see the surgery block. They could only see the backs of the doctors and Vessel's body under a green sheet, and hear the monitor beeping steadily, yet too slowly to Damien's taste. He watched with endless attention. He wanted to see his brother's peaceful face. He wanted to see the colors return to his skin.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
If Vessel didn't survive, Damien was sure to never forgive himself. Without him, he was all alone, all lost. Damien needed to see his big brother's eyes shine when he listened to his favourite music. Damien needed to be pushed around by him when he was bothering him. Damien needed to listen to him talking about random science facts again so he could call him a nerd. Damien needed to have his brother by his side.
Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep...
Each beep sounded further from the previous one, ringing every alarm in the boy's body. His eyes, red and puffy from crying, widened as the tears came back. He struggled to breathe as his throat tightened in fear.
Vessel. No. Please please please.
The rush in the doctors' motions did not appease him one bit. He followed their every move, a sob shaking him as he saw the blood staining the green sheets covering his brother's body. Then... Then...
Beeeeeeeeeeeep...
Flat line.
The doctors' heads lowered. Vessel was dead. Damien buried his face in his hands and pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes. His breathing was ragged and he felt sick. He could barely feel his mother's arms bringing him into a tentatively soothing embrace. A very futile and useless embrace. Nothing could console him. He knew he had a part of responsibility in this. There were so many things he could've done, so many things that could've prevented this, and he didn't do them. Now Vessel's corpse was laying on a surgery table, lifeless and cold, and his blood was dripping off and making a mess on the floor.
Damien couldn't be there in time, and now Vessel was dead. If Vessel could feel again, Damien was convinced he would hate him, and quite frankly, he hated himself too.
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starlightseraph · 2 months
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house md will always be remebered as the most insane thing ever broadcast because of how unabashedly feral everyone involved was.
a short collection of things that happen on the show, just off the top of my head, not even scratching the surface:
- house shoots a random dead body in the morgue and then sticks him in an mri machine, which pulls the bullet out of the dead guy’s head and destroys the machine, costing the hospital millions
- foreman gets bitten by a person with rabies
- chase kills an african dictator
- cameron steals drugs from a patient after possibly getting hiv from said patient
- house induces a migraine and then takes a drug made by his arch nemesis (who he’s been stalking for 25 years) to get the drug taken off the market. he then takes lsd (in the hospital, in the middle of a case) to cure the migraine.
- chase goes into anaphylaxis after doing body shots
- house stops an elevator so he can perform a cavity (vaginal) search on a teenage heart transplant patient who’s in cardiorespiratory arrest
- they give a neurosurgeon mushrooms to cure his food poisoning, then they stick him in an operating room. the neurosurgeon strips in front of a health board assessor.
- kutner dies for gay marriage
- house sets an autopsy room on fire while trying to juggle flaming bottles
- house gets recruited by the cia
- taub gets held at gun point after diagnosing a stripper with skin cancer
- in almost every single episode, the team breaks into multiple houses
- house fakes terminal brain cancer so he can get drugs implanted directly into the pleasure centre of his brain
- house cons us immigration to get his fake wife a green card. he also uses his fake wife’s ukrainian food truck to spy on people
- house tries to get wilson, his closet case boybestfriend, into bed every few episodes. every other sentence out of house’s mouth is about wanting to rail wilson.
- taub has a kid with his ex-wife, after they divorce, at the same time he has a kid with his 25 yo side piece. the kids’ names are sophie and sophia.
- house and wilson have a bet on who can hide a chicken in the hospital the longest without anyone finding out
- house tries to kill himself like 6 times and always fails (insulin shock, overdoses, electrocution, jumping off a building, cutting, etc)
- house fakes his death to get out of a prison sentence after violating his parole so he can live out his bi love story with his gay best friend who has 5 months to live
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furious-fish · 2 months
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the new statements are driving me insane
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cupcakeslushie · 3 months
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Few more
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shirecorn · 4 days
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Sunburst's cloak doesn't fully cover his wings...
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bigfatbreak · 6 months
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Birds of a Feather previous / next
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waspik · 8 months
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pay penance.
print in my shop ^_^
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petscoboba · 9 months
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*Kris, er, does this sometimes.
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bluedillylee · 3 months
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✨💀💜🔥
yenny bo benny
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mobbu-min · 4 months
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☆ erm, let's not do that ☆
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requested by anon! Hi there! So i would like to request The overblot gang with a S/O who likes to pick on their fingers whenever they are stressed and considering what Yuu have to go through, they would have a bloody hand if it werent for the fact they use gloves when they are really stressed out. (They dont wear gloves often because it will look weird when it doesnt fit the outfit but will wear it if necessary). So what are the overblot gang (seperate) reactions when he learns why his S/O pick on their fingers and wear gloves? P.s. you are an amazing writer and i love your work, keep up the good work! Hope you have a lovely day/night!
a/n so it's been awhile... how have you guys been? i've been okay, been dealing with post graduation fatigue and depression. been wondering what the hell am i doing with my world and wondering if things are really worth it. i miss bts, i miss jin and hobi and most of all yoongi. i miss the person i used to be. i miss the person that was my rock for a good few years. i wish this whole life thing wasn;t so hard, but! twst makes my brain go brrrr, so that's good i guess lolol. i'm working on stuff dw! and i'll try to post more, so thank you all so much to those who have been waiting! i love you all!!! <333
characters mentioned: overblot boys!
!tw! blood, would this be considered self harm? (an actual question btw)
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Riddle Rosehearts <3
⋆ He’s so concerned. Honestly, when he saw the state of your hands, he gasped like some Victorian man seeing an ankle for the first time.
⋆ He’s not the type to beat around the bush, but he’s gentle about it. He’s quick to voice his concern for your health and if there’s any way for him to help you. 
⋆ Knowing that he is part of the cause of your pain, sorta sends him spiraling somewhat. It really makes Riddle want to become a better person after seeing the after effects of his tyranny.
⋆ Whenever Riddle sees you picking at your hands, he kinda swats at your hands like an angry cat. A disappointed pout on his soft features. He really tries okay. 
⋆ Riddle will patch your hand up. He’s so gentle about it too. Holding your hands as if they were blessed by the Queen of Hearts (honestly there’s probably a rule about it)
⋆ He’s taken to holding your hand when you're together. He stutters out a quick ‘I-it’s to help you!’ before dragging you away to study. When you're alone, Riddle has the habit of kissing your hands, mumbling sweet words. 
⋆ Overall, Riddle is concerned but willing to do anything to help you.
“If you ever find the urge to harm yourself, no matter how small, I ask you to seek me out. I will always spare you a moment. Afterall, I care about you, please don’t forget that.”
Leona Kingscholar <3
⋆ He noticed the state of your hands the moment he met you, but didn’t mention it until you grew closer. Like Riddle, he doesn’t beat around the bush. But unlike Riddle, Leona is so incredibly blunt.
⋆ After you tell him it’s a habit you’ve picked up after certain events, Leona drops the subject. The both of you are too awkward to keep it going. Afterall, you both knew what events could have led you here. Guilt was quick to snag Leona’s heart.
⋆ He’s not upfront about his emotions. Leona’s quite bad with vocalizing his worries, but he’s always been a firm believer in actions over words anyways.
⋆ Expensive gloves, creams and ointments from his land, heck even fidget toys he’s seen Cheka play with, shows up at your door. Anything he believes that could help you, he’s getting.
⋆ If you’re together and your hands get particularly bad, he’s dragging you to the infirmary to patch you up (he ends up snagging/buying bandages to keep on him just in case after) He doesn’t really talk much, but the sentiment is there.
⋆ Like Riddle, Leona will hold your hands to stop you from picking at your skin. His grip is tight, but not in a way that seems like he’s scolding you or mad, but tight in a way that's comforting. As if saying ‘I’m here.’
‘Oi, stop that… Yeah, I’m aware, but I’m here now. Let’s find other ways to deal with your stress, yeah? (whispering) I think I’ve got a few ideas, if you’re up to it, herbivore~’
Azul Ashengrotto <3
⋆ He beats around the bush. Azul is weirddddd about it.
⋆ On one hand, he’s worried about you. On the other hand, his capitalist side wants to find some way to profit off it. Somehow he manages to quell both sides. (he ends up making hand cream/ointment using like floyd’s mucus thing, rip floyd)
��� Azul, despite his incessant need to bottle up his emotions for others, finds it hard to ignore the state of your hands, and likewise state of your health, any longer. He doesn’t know how to approach the topic. Does he ask right away? Should he ease you into it? He, for the first time since his overblot, is lost for words.
⋆ He does eventually get the guts to ask and oh boy, he never knew guilt felt this bad.
⋆ Azul kinda sucks at helping you, he won’t hold your hand (only in private) and he’s kinda frivolous with money (so no expensive gifts) but he’s good with his words. And when he sees you starting to pick at your hands, he immediately starts running his mouth. And he can talk for hours. And he’s entertaining too. Leaving you so enraptured by his words that you forget about the need to pick at your skin.
⋆ He’s always good at always keeping you busy. And no this isn’t some way to get free labor out of you. Typically you help him with paper work, just you and him in his little office.
⋆ Azul may always be boasting about how kind he is outloud, but you both know his true kindness is always quiet.
‘Ah, that’s enough paperwork for today. How about we go to the lounge for a few drinks? There’s plenty more I wish to share with you about the stock market.’
Jamil Viper <3
⋆ He doesn’t notice until you’re hissing in pain from something spicy touching your tender skin (listen i know this does make sense, but trust me, it hurts) He’s confused and worried at first and confused and worried after.
⋆ Jamil scolds you for working without some sort of protection while he tenderly washes your hands.
⋆ I feel like Jamil also has some bad coping habits, so he’s quick to put two and two together. He doesn’t ask, but there is a noticeable shift in his behavior. Jamil is a lot more gentle, not in a demeaning way, but in an awkward ‘I want to help you, but idk how, just please appreciate my efforts’ sorta way.
⋆ Since he still has his duties as Vice Housewarden and Kalim’s aid, he’s pretty tight on time, but he tries his best to spare you a few minutes. And if he can’t, you’ll always find a lunch box sitting on your desk.
⋆ Jamil is always willing to bandage your hands if they get particularly bad. He’ll use healing ointment that smells like home and is as gentle as his voice.
⋆ And while he can’t give you extraordinary gifts or talk for hours on end, Jamil is always ready to lend you a hand to heal your own destruction like how you healed him.
‘Stop squirming so much, I’ll mess up your banadages. -sigh- You really have to start wearing some sort of gloves… Mh? What was that?… You like it when I bandage your hand? E-eh- ahem, well if you like it so much, I might as well start charging you. …Ahaha, I never said thuarmarks, did I?”
Vil Schoenheit <3
⋆ He takes one look at your hand and instantly brings out a 12 step hand routine.
⋆ Listen, he doesn't care if you do it out of stress, he’s going to fix your hands while helping you find better ways to handle it.
⋆ He rubs like this gel liquid thing that tastes bad to prevent you from biting away the skin near your nail (it’s an actual thing don’t worry) He’s pulling all the stops to prevent you from injuring your hands even more than they already are.
⋆ Vil often walks the fine line of being really gentle or really strict about it. And it doesn’t stem from his perfection issues, he is just kinda bad at expressing his emotions in a way that is both productive and compassionate. He does care, you’ll just have to look for hidden meanings in his long lectures.
⋆ No doubt, Vil is getting both of you matching gloves with your signature colors as accents.
⋆ The whole 12 step hand routine actually does become routine for the both of you. Typically taking place at Pomefiore, you’ll both talk about your day. Vil sees this as a way to check off all three boxes.
⋆ He gets to do his nightly hand routine.
⋆ You're improving day by day from talking about your emotions with him.
⋆ And he gets to spend one on one time with you!
⋆ It's a win-win situation! And your hands have never been softer!
‘And Epel just had to prove his point, which ended up with him casting a Zip Tight Spell on him. Despite not even being able to move his mouth, I could tell there was so much anger running though his little body. Goodness, how ridicu-hm? Did my little spudling fall asleep? How rude~ -sigh- Sweet dreams, darling~’
Idia Shroud <3
⋆ It’s Ortho that brings up your problem. Worry evident in his voice as he showed pictures of your hands to his big brother.
⋆ Despite being gaming buddies, Idia really never paid attention to your outer appearance. Too preoccupied in his desire to beat you at every game you both play.
⋆ And poor Idia, guilt grabs him by his long ass hair and flings his lanky body across the room multiple times (not really, but in Idia’s head that what's happening)
⋆ Unlike all of the others mentioned, Idia’s way of help is rather unconventional. He’s not good at talking nor is he good at physical touch, but you know what he is good at? Yeah, making things.
⋆ After a long night, Idia shows up at Ramshackle holding a small box. What is in the box? Well your own personal health robocat! This cat is kinda like Ortho just to a lesser degree (think of the robocat seven made mc!)
⋆ Listen, he knows he’s severely lacking in multiple departments of this whole dating, heck even friend, thing, but he is trying! And RoboCat is the ultimate form of his love! It’s quite romantic really.
⋆ Is Grim happy about the new intruder? No! But your health is more important than his feelings!
⋆ Idia swears he died of pure happiness at your expression. His two favorite things together!? Eek! It’s too much!
‘A-and next time you find yourself in trouble, just c-call for Robocat and she’ll come flying!… A laser beam like Ortho? Good idea! I’ll make sure to add it in her name update!’
Malleus Draconia <3
⋆ His heart aches to see the pain you put yourself through. If it was up to him, he’d simply whisk you away to a place where no stress could muddle your beautiful mind. If he could, he would kill stress itself.
⋆ But alas, he can’t kill something that doesn’t have a physical form, how sad~ (lilia had to convince him not to go after Crowley)
⋆ Malleus is doing everything he can to help you. Just name it and he’s doing it.
⋆ Multiple gloves made of the finest materials? Got it!
⋆ Healing ointment from the farthest land made from an extinct organism? Done!
⋆ The heads of your enemies? Why didn’t you say so sooner!
⋆ He’s so silly ahahaha.
⋆ But seriously, Malleus sorta never feels stressed (he does, just thinks stress is a human emotion that only humans can feel) but he’s always willing to listen to you. Afterall, you’re always willing to lend your ears to him, it’s the bare minimum.
⋆ Advice? It’s so-so, sometimes he comes off vague but that really just because of his faeness. But he tries and is actively trying to be better, trying to be more intune with your emotions and his. (lilia has been great help, and surprisingly enough, watching silver and sebek on a more friendly level has also helped him be more in tune with emotions)
⋆ You shouldn't have to suffer in silence and he’ll make sure you never will for as long as the universe will let him.
‘You’ve been such a good companion, my dearest child of man, so please let me return the favor. Allow me to see the deepest parts of your soul, of your mind and heart. If you fear that I will cast judgment, do not. I could never judge the soul that has welcomed me with an open heart.’
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garbagechocolate · 6 months
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Sometimes you just wanna
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tw for sh
well, i guess ill try this trend... (a few weeks later lmao-)
if this post gets 300 notes, ill try to stop self harming.
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