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euniveve
奉献，信仰，愿望
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wisefoxluminary
i-am-confusion-03
A Singular Gay
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this is an offical product, the Homura Beretta M92FS Airsoft gun.
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there’s an emptiness in me that nothing seems to fill
#i rlly wish i wasn’t self aware#it seems like a punishment#i wish i was stupid and unaware#ignorance is bliss and all that#anyways#why do i never feel satisfied#i have issues#what’s new#is this what Marx was talking about#consumption will never satisfy me as long as i’m alive#which makes me think the obvious#but i can’t bc i’m normal and fine#i need help#but anyways fr now#cw vent#autism#bpd#trans#i just want to feel real#i feel like i’ve lost the identity i had#identity crisis ?#probs just tired#maybe#i can’t think clearly abt anything without getting overwhelmed#so fun
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me when i wanna die everytime i look in a mirror or think too hard on what i look like erm ok
#not good lol#i hate everything abt my appearance why do i have no redeeming qualities#worse yet why do i feel the need to be “redeemed by my physical appearance#i hate my brain fr#and also the way i look#all for the price of one#i think im having a crisis#idk i need to be different from me#i’m like the ugly starter character in a game that has no customisations#n i’m just so sick of how i look like i need to do better#but it’s so exhausting#and expensive#to look different#anyways#tw gender dysphoria#tw body dysmorphia#cw body image#autism#trans#queer#i’m having an identity crisis both inwardly and outwardly#who am i and also why do i look like this#and how do i fix it#tw vent
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Interrupting Falin talk to bring you the scene that shows why Laios really great autistic representation and why Shuro is the worst. he's a well written character but I hate him
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sometimes i find it a little scary to know that i would be willing to just give up in being myself and surrender myself to a life w/ a man and children if it meant i wouldn’t be alone for the rest of my life 
if i’m gonna feel this bad my whole life then i at least want to have someone there
#but i’m not that bad of a person#i wouldn’t bring kids into this world let alone with me as their ‘mother’#but it would give me purpose and i wouldn’t be alone#n it’s what everyone’s supposedly meant to do in life#ik i won’t#but bc i don’t rlly see a future for myself#this seems like the closest thing to#idk#internalised homophobia#internalised transphobia#internalised ableism#i have issues#good luck babe by chappell roan has me thinking#i just don’t want to be alone ever again#and you only get that with relationships and family#plus i can never keep friends#basically i should just kms bc there are no options#anyways#tw sui ideation#tw vent#autism#lonelly#bpd#left behind
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i feel more alone n awful about myself now then when i had no friends n was some little loser 13 yr old
things have just consistently gotten better and yet i still just want to die
#things have only improved#on paper#or from everyone else’s perspective#tbf it has#it’s all better now#so why aren’t i ?#why don’t i get to be#i’ve put in the work a hundred times over#why am STILL here STILL doing the same shit STILL trying to be better#ik it’s a constant thing#but i’m fed up w it all#i just don’t get it#this is a cry for help#tbh#idrk what to do cuz like there’s nothing to be done#oh what i’m lonely ? okay ??#i’m an adult i should be able to do the bare minimum#why do i need help with everything it’s so humiliating#i hate myself#i’m so lonely i want to die#why do i feel like this i have no reason for it#autism#lonelly#tw vent#social anxiety#rsd#bpd#left behind#tw suicidal ideation#tw suicide
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