Toxic!Simon, unhinged reader, threatening to commit suicide, guns, mention of killing, implied cheating
Part 1 | Part 2
ik ive used this song before but whatever
“I’ll do it, Simon! I will fucking do it!” you shout while holding his gun to your head, the one he always kept under his pillow just in case. It was supposed to be there for your protection. But how he regrets it now.
You're a complete wreck right now as you stand before him, uncontrollable flows of tears along with your makeup cascading down your face, bloodshot eyes looking back at him as you threaten to pull the trigger.
And he has never been this scared in his life. Not even when streams of bullets come flying in his direction almost every day.
“Put the gun down... please... we can talk about it. I will stay. I promise.” he pleads desperately, struggling to figure out what to do in this situation.
“What does she have that I don’t have? Huh? What do they have? I don’t even fucking know how many there are anymore!” you continue yelling and sobbing while waving the gun around, stopping him dead in his tracks as he steps closer to take the gun from you.
He ducks his head as you point the gun in his direction for a moment, “What? You think I'm gonna kill you? Whatever I do, I'll do it to myself! I can’t go on like this anymore!” you cry out, your loud sobs and hiccups fill the room, fill his senses, overwhelming him as it builds up his aggression and frustration more and more.
“Put. The. Fuckin'. Gun. Down.” he states firmly as he gets closer, slowly reaching for the gun that you now hold by your side as you go on sobbing.
“Why don’t you love me, Simon?” you ask while slightly tilting your head, this time in a much softer tone, almost as if you have given up the fight, now only desperate for an answer.
Your words bring a shocked look to his face, not from the question itself, no, your question is completely valid considering his actions, but because he doesn’t know how to answer.
He finally reaches out and takes the gun from you, your fingers loosening their grip and your sobs slowly dying down a bit, a defeated look replacing it, “Why do you do this to me? All of it? Why the fuck did you make me fall in love with you?”
He holds his head down, not daring to meet your gaze and look into your expecting eyes as you still await an answer.
Is it from shame? Or that he doesn’t want to confront the consequences of his actions? You don’t know which one, but you guess the latter is probably true.
“You d-don't... can you just hold me please?” you ask in utter desperation as you shut your eyes in shame of admitting defeat.
In no time, you feel a pair of strong arms wrap you in a warm embrace.
And after all that he’s done to you, you still feel safe in his arms, even somehow... loved? Or something resembling that.
And you remember why you always keep crawling back to him as he tightens his arms around you.
And as much as you don't like to admit to yourself, you'd feel content if he would just pretend to love you.
yes im going through some stuff as you can tell :'(
245 notes
·
View notes
tw!
hi<3
if ur an adult (or at least 17+, since im 18), a styro cvtter (maximum beans/fascia but i don’t cvt that deep personally) with an aching need for a close sh friend (or friend in general :D) with who you can talk abt sh (and vent together, etc..), exchange sh pics and vids, and has a deep rooted soul-eating chronic self hatred, DM ME!❤️
i neeeeed a close sh friend with who i can exchange pics/vids, ask for advice and be really close with, since no one irl really knows about it or they wouldn’t encourage me in it :(
32 notes
·
View notes
idk if this whole being alive thing is for me honestly
4K notes
·
View notes