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#i have never been so exhausted in my life
cripplecharacters · 10 hours
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Facial Differences that You Should Consider Representing in Your Writing More
[large text: Facial Differences that You Should Consider Representing in Your Writing More]
As it has been said many times on this blog before, facial differences are a very wide spectrum - there’s thousands of conditions that cause it, and they’re often extremely different from each other! It’s an incredibly diverse category almost by definition. But…
In books, movies, and our inbox, it seems that a traumatic battle scar is the only facial difference that exists. I find this rather frustrating because I would like to see the real life diversity to be actually considered by writers when creating characters - and that’s exactly what this post is for. I hope that by making people just aware of the myriad of options they have, I can help a bit. 
This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t write characters with scars, it’s to say that there’s more for you to consider. Just like not every physically disabled person has hip dysplasia and not every neurodivergent person has epilepsy, not every person with a facial difference has scars! 
Of course, this list isn’t exhaustive - no such list exists, it would be like “list of every disability ever”, it simply can’t be done. This is just a dozen random facial differences that I would like to see incorporated into characters more often!
Facial paralysis Exactly what the name implies. There are many types of facial paralysis - complete, partial, bilateral, unilateral, chronic, acute, and it can affect the whole face, or only part of it.  Sometimes it can cause problems with speech or dry eyes (mostly the latter), but it’s frequently just primarily a visual difference. A person with facial paralysis might be completely unable to make facial expressions at all if it’s severe, or have a lop-sided smile and inability to raise an eyebrow or control an eyelid like me. Causes include cranial nerve damage (especially the 7th nerve, which is called facial palsy), Bell’s palsy, Möbius syndrome, or multiple sclerosis! It can be congenital, like in my case, or acquired, like in most cases - mostly due to stroke. Here I would write something about the current media representation being good, bad, or what tropes to look out for but I don’t know a single character with it. So :-)
Anotia/microtia Microtia is a congenital facial difference that affects the outer ear(s) - as the name implies, they’re smaller than average; anotia means a complete lack of them. This usually will also result in being d/Deaf or hard of hearing in that ear, as the ear canal can be smaller or closed (depending on the “grade”). People with microtia who decide on using hearing aids will usually wear a bone-anchored hearing aid, which looks very differently from the “regular” HA; it’s worn with a headband. Microtia can be the only facial difference that a person has, but it can also be a part of Goldenhar syndrome, Treacher Collins syndrome (mentioned below!), or hemifacial microsomia.
Congenital Trochlear Nerve palsy I have a subtype of this, and because it happens to have the most boring name in existence I have never seen anyone talk about it, certainly not see a character with it. So! CNIV palsy (again, an incredibly catchy name) is a disorder of one of the very-easy-to-damage nerves that allow eyes to move. It causes constant double vision, severe strabismus, and progressive facial asymmetry. A person with CNIV palsy will have a 24/7 head tilt to the side and will have their chin tucked in, which causes said asymmetry - facial features on the side of the tilt will sag down, the eye will “sunk” in, and because it’s congenital, the jaw can grow to be misaligned (like mine!). Over time, it causes neck pain and kyphosis, so add chronic pain to that. Trochlear nerve palsy can be congenital, acquired, traumatic, and even extremely rarely genetic (that’s me! allegedly <1 in a million). However, most acquired cases are only temporary, and “fix themselves” with the passage of time. Again, I would love to write something about CNIV palsy representation, but I’m fairy confident it doesn’t exist : )
Sturge-Weber syndrome The most visible part of SWS - that you might be familiar with - are port wine stains! In this syndrome, they tend to be large and generally cover the forehead-eye area. Around 15% of people with any kind of port wine stain on their face have Sturge-Weber syndrome, and even more when it comes to larger ones. Most people with SWS will have epilepsy since childhood, and many will develop glaucoma (which causes blindness) if the PWS is around that eye. Hemiparesis (one-sided weakness) can also sometimes happen on the opposite side of the PWS. Here is a short article about media representation from a person with SWS!
Cystic Hygroma Also known as lymphangioma, it is a bump that mostly happens on a person’s lower face and/or neck. It’s almost always congenital and a result of a blockage in the lymphatic system (thus lymphangioma). Sometimes, if it affects the mouth or jaw, it may cause a speech disability where the person’s speech might not be fully understandable, or cause an airway obstruction; this generally means that the person has to have a trach tube in their neck to breathe. Here is a short article about living and growing up with cystic hygroma by Atholl Mills!
Congenital melanocytic nevus A complicated name for a specific kind of birthmark! Melanocytic means related to melanin, so it’s a black or brown birthmark that can show up on any part of the body and be of almost any size. Sometimes it can be hairy as well. While CMN doesn’t usually cause any problems, people who have it have a higher risk of skin cancer, epilepsy, and brain tumors. Here is a short article on representation - among other things - by a person with CMN!
Ptosis Ptosis is actually really common - I can almost guarantee that you have seen someone with it - but for some reason it never shows up in media, unless it’s to show that a character is under the influence or vaguely creepy. Ptosis is simply a drooped eyelid. It’s caused by damage to the third cranial nerve, which can be congenital, acquired, traumatic, etc. It’s very common in myasthenia gravis and CHARGE syndrome. In most cases ptosis is a visual thing, but it can sometimes cause problems - for me, it partially obstructs my vision and for some people who acquired it later in life that can cause pain (due to having to constantly lift the eyebrow). Ptosis is often misunderstood, and people tend to make bizarre assumptions about those of us who have it - even Wikipedia cites “looking sinister” as a symptom (not that I particularly trust Wikipedia as a source, but it shows the general public’s view quite well). In real life, we are normal people and all these “drunk/high/rude/evil” associations aren’t true at all.
Treacher Collins syndrome You have probably seen a person with TCS at some point, as it’s not that rare. This is a genetic, congenital disability that affects the development of the face. The bones of the jaw and cheeks are underdeveloped, eyes have a downturned shape, and microtia/anotia is often present as well. A lot of people with Treacher Collins are d/Deaf or hard of hearing. Sometimes, the small jaw might cause problems with breathing, which is why a lot of people with TCS will have a permanent tracheostomy tube in their neck. Similar to ptosis, eyes in TCS are often seen as “looking sad”, but that’s an incorrect assumption - that’s just how they look like. The main and only big representation of TCS in media is that one awful movie from a few years ago, that was literally just inspiration porn featuring an able-bodied actor based on a shitty book, made by an author with some sort of abled-person guilt. Very cool, don’t do that.
Crouzon syndrome Crouzon syndrome is a type of craniosynostosis; a congenital condition where a person’s skull fuses too early. There are other disabilities that can look somewhat similar, like Pfeiffer or Apert syndrome, but they are different!  CS will affect the person's skull - it will be taller than usual, eyes - they will be large and bulging, midface - it's often smaller than average and can look sunk in comparison to the jaw and forehead, and more! Sometimes people with Crouzon syndrome are d/Deaf or hard of hearing (very common with craniofacial differences), or experience long term effects of hydrocephalus, which happens fairly often. Here is a short article by Mikaela Moody about movie representation - and her piece on how it to be trans while having a facial difference, which I relate to a lot and wanted to share:-)
Phthisis bulbi Phthisis bulbi is something that I have mentioned on this blog before, as it logistically should be represented way more often in fiction than it currently is. It's also known as the “end-stage eye” which is a pretty metal name. This is an ocular difference that can result after trauma to the eye. It can also result from a million other things, but trauma is apparently the most common thing to happen to an eye in fiction, so. With phthisis bulbi, the eye shrinks, sinks, and everything inside becomes stiff; this is permanent, and the eye isn't functional anymore - it's blind and unable to move. The only treatment is to have the eye removed, especially if it causes pain. If you're writing a character who got a Hot Sexy Scar over their eye and still has that eye, they probably should have this (and yes, the “shrunk and sunk” part is mandatory, you can't just make the eye lighter and call it a day).
Frontonasal dysplasia Frontonasal dysplasia is a congenital facial difference that affects the structure of the face. While it's a spectrum with a lot of variety, most people with FND will have hypertelorism (eyes spread widely apart), a flat and broad nose, and a cleft going through the middle of the nose. Other facial clefts (not necessarily just cleft lip) are also common. Sometimes, someone with it can also have cranium bifidum (meaning a brain/meninges that protrude through the skull, similar to how spina bifida works), or intellectual disability related to the potential absence of corpus callosum. Rarely, limb differences can also be a part of it; absent tibia, extra toes, or clubfoot. Again, I’m unaware of any representation of FND outside of “scary birth deformity” on medical shows :--)
Parry–Romberg syndrome PRS is also known as progressive hemifacial atrophy, which is a much more descriptive name. It’s an acquired facial difference that people just get for unknown reasons, mostly before the age of 20 and usually between 5 and 15. Generally, PRS is considered to be slowly-progressing, but this can vary pretty widely between different people. As the name implies, it causes atrophy in the face, which affects everything from skin to fat and muscles to sometimes even bones. Some people will also experience skin darkening, alopecia (hair loss), or trigeminal neuralgia (very severe nerve pain) on the atrophied side. The difference between the two sides can be very pronounced, with a visible line between the halves showing up on the forehead. Again, no existing rep that I know of :-)
And as always, I recommend this short PDF that in my opinion any writer who wants to include a character with an FD has to read. Additionally, you can also check our #face difference tag, this primer on facial difference, or this piece on making sure you’re not contributing to disfiguremisia.
Also apologies for the amount of “idk what to say about already existing rep because it literally doesn’t exist afaik” but I hope it illustrates the problem :-)
Happy Face Equality Week!
mod Sasza
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blueaetherr · 2 days
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past is prologue (onward)
pairing: jude bellingham x fem!reader [she/her]
warning(s): the idea of blue, fic more lengthy than usual, angst?
summary: the one where two disasters realise that things could have been drastically different between them
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Sitting out in the back patio Y/N let herself relax on the couch, controlled deep breaths and a hat over her face to block out the late evening sunset. She had done more than enough to warrant a break from everything. From bringing her younger siblings to and from school, to also cooking and cleaning for the afternoon that just came around. 
All she wanted to do was indulge in nothing and just rest— that's all she could ask for. Still, it remained so hard to receive when others were out to disrupt her calm.
When the hat was removed from her face she opened her eyes, rubbing the fatigue out of them. Realising who had stolen the hat, she sat up quickly. Her voice came out small and groggy when she began to speak. "Hey! Jobe gave it to me—"
Jude let out a loud laugh, one that stemmed Y/N in her sentence. "And it's not even his. He took it from me." Rounding the couch he took a seat on the other end of the couch, lifting her feet on his lap so he too could be included under the blanket. He chuckled again when she remained unphased by his actions; it had happened way too many times before for her to care, especially knowing that she wouldn't get her way in the end.
Due to being neighbours—whether this was reflected in the interaction or not—the two have known one another since their young days. Only, they weren't friends; instead Y/N was friends with Jobe while Jude was friends with her older brother. Y/N and Jude, on the other hand, were only conditional and slightly familiar. Their friendship (or the lack thereof) failed to exist beyond their families. 
So whenever their families came together to share Friday dinners, whenever their families had outings together– times that were meant for happiness and laughter– they could be around one another for so many hours without actually hanging out or conversing. For the sake of their families, the farthest they could and would go together was being friendly and accommodating within reason.
"Why are you even here anyway?" Y/N huffed out a breath. She waved towards the garden, where her older brother, younger siblings and Jobe were playing football together. "There's plenty to do, you know, besides occupying my space." It's not that she didn't want to be around Jude (or maybe that's exactly what it was). It's more that they had spent a lot of time together that day and besides going to bed, she wanted a moment alone to allow herself to dwindle down from the long day she had had.
Leaning his head back Jude wore his hat backwards. "Yeah, it's just— well." He wore a smile, one that was mild yet overtly sarcastic. "I know if I go inside, your mum will start asking me about my love life, and I'm resting for when I go back to Madrid so..."
"Right, right. So then your only remaining option is to follow me around all day?" For two people who didn't identify themselves as friends, they had spent a lot of the current day in each other's spaces. Jude had accompanied Y/N to bring her younger siblings to and from school, he had somewhat helped her to prepare dinner for that afternoon and he had offered to help with the dishes after everyone had finished eating.
"No, of course not," Jude shook his head before pointing to Y/N, "You just find yourself in places where I want to be too."
She took a moment to simply stare at Jude, slightly bothered and dazed at his words before pushing herself further into the couch and sighing deeply which only encouraged Jude to laugh more. Truthfully, she didn't have the energy to debate him. She could definitely win against him but Jude would never view it as such. It was something Jude and her older brother could do without getting exhausted; that was something she would have to leave for them to do with each other.
Letting his laughs falter he decided to give Y/N some peace. Given how her day had gone, especially since he had been with her for most of it, he could admit that she deserved some moment of rest. So he chose to keep to himself
Or, at least, Jude tried to keep to himself. He tried to remain occupied on his phone, he tried to remain secluded in his mind and thoughts, he tried to keep his eyes solely on those playing football in the garden. So much for prevention yet his eyes eventually wandered back to Y/N. Somehow, they always did.
He wasn't aware of all of the attributes that made up Y/N but one thing was for sure; she was people-orientated. She loved community—creating it, embracing it and contributing to it. Always did she make herself the sender. And whenever she did receive something, she would find a way to send back more. She was selfless and outward, always extending herself to others whether they were in need of something or just in want of her company.
It wasn't hidden knowledge or anything, he saw it well with everyone she interacted with. She never displayed any signs of annoyance when dealing with her younger siblings, always showing them grace when they would ask overwhelming questions that would stump the average person. She had a healthy mix of banter and genuine friendship with her older brother. She got along well with the parents, so much so that he wouldn't be surprised if they viewed her as the pride and joy between the two families.
And of course, there was what she had with Jobe.
"Blues," he whispered before repeating with much more voice, "Blues." When Y/N finally looked away from her phone, he continued, "Jobe calls you that."
She let her eyes drift around before turning to Jude, nodding slowly. "He came up with it, yeah."
Jude tilted his head to the side. "What's that all about?" Suddenly, his curiosity was ignited. He knew that's what only Jobe called Y/N on the regular. Blues had been established as a nickname for years yet Jude had no insight as to what it meant.
"Well..."
"Blue like the oceans and the sky... fairly common yet unique. You are ordinary and extraordinary all at the same time."
A touch of a smile reached her lips at the mention of the memory. There was nothing remarkable about it. It was simple and nice and mundane yet Jobe made it so much more for her, and she would never find herself ever forgetting it. But while it was all simple and nice and mundane, the next thing Jobe had told her was to not tell Jude the meaning behind her nickname. So she had to improvise.
"Blue – it's my favourite colour. But I also like all different shades of blue, hence Blues and not Blue," she explained briefly. A half-truth she told. Blue, indeed, was her favourite colour, that was partially why Jobe found the nickname so fitting for his friend. The lie was that it was his main reason behind the nickname. Instead, her favourite colour being blue was simply just the inspiration.
He hummed, nodding. "I like that, really. I do," Then there it was, his face grew timid with delight towards Y/N. He wasn't mild or sarcastic about it like previously, just genuine. Jude continued to broaden the scope of the conversation, something beyond the norm for the two. "That and what you have with Jobe. It's not hard to tell that you're really good for him."
Jude didn't know everything about Y/N and his brother, Jobe kept their friendship relatively exclusive. But from what Jude saw and from what the two allowed him to see—their pictures together, watching them hang out from afar, their conversations during car rides—he knew that Jobe and Y/N were vibrant, comfortable, and lasting. But above all, they were them. Whatever type of friendship they shared was inconsequential; all they needed to function was for one another to be present and everything else about them would work out perfectly.
"Is that a compliment I'm hearing?" You couldn't see it at first glance; her eyes were low and tired, and her voice stumbled but Y/N meant to be irritating towards Jude. It was rare for her to ever have a victory like this to hang over his head.
Jude leaned his head back against the couch and groaned, placing his hand over his face. It was then he remembered why he rarely ever let her have any sort of win over him— having even the slightest wins against him only built her ego up for when she did win against him. "Can I take it back?"
"Oh, absolutely not," she shook her head and laughed slightly. In that moment, weirdly, she found her body easing. Her shoulders were slacked, and her breaths were moderate and easy. She was relaxed, something she hadn't been able to get a hold of in a minute. "This might be the highlight of my day."
"I'm just saying, yeah," Jude emphasised, his voice slowly overriding her laughter. "What you have with Jobe—with everyone—really has me thinking about what we could have together."
She paused her laughs as her face crunched up. "What?" Y/N would never admit it, but she had been enjoying the conversation with Jude up until now. It made sense to talk about her and Jobe, that was a given. But her and Jude? She didn't see the point of centring a conversation around the two. Besides, she couldn't really imagine having one if there wasn't much to them besides their families' ties to each other.
His eyes widened when he noticed her change of expression. "Not like that—" Jude huffed out a breath, "I mean, like, I wonder what it would've been like if we had become friends, you know, back when we were kids."
While Y/N always rid her thoughts of Jude, he failed to do the same for her. In his own time and place, he thought about her and him. From time to time, Jude did wonder about what it would be like if the two had become friends. About how it would be like if it had been Y/N and Jude instead of Y/N and Jobe. For all the time they spent in the same space but not together, for all the times all the older siblings would go out together but they would never speak a word to one another—what if they actually spent all that time as friends rather than as friendly?
They were weird, awkward and often out of place with each other; that was their dynamic unapologetically. Still, it remained something that Jude wanted to explore more. There wasn't much to them yet he took his time wondering about the endless what-ifs of their relationship. Did they actually amount to something significant beyond their mandatory hellos and goodbyes?
"Yeah, obviously." Y/N narrowed her eyes at Jude for a moment. She failed to understand what he meant by not like that. Nonetheless, she continued. "Well, you never made it appealing to be friends. Still don't too." While there was joke behind her voice, her words upheld common truth. 
Even during their earlier years together, there were times when she tried to be friends with Jude. I mean it made sense, seeing how their families quickly grew close to one another. But every time Y/N gave Jude her attention, every time he ever gained her attention, he would only respond with unfunny and dense jokes—something that he exclusively only did to her and no one else. It was because of those memories that Y/N consciously avoided Jude. She just wanted to protect her peace.
Focusing her glance on Jude, she quickly noticed the awkward expression settled on his face and scoffed out a small laugh. Good. And even though he didn't deserve it, Y/N decided that she would try to brighten the mood for a second. "You technically— we should have to be honest."
"Yeah..." Jude nodded absently before pausing. He realised that he actually didn't know what he was agreeing with. "Wait, what are you on about?"
She raised her eyebrows at him. "What— your brother hasn't told you?" From talking with Jude and her conversations with his brother, she knew that Jobe wasn't secretive about his business with Jude. But then again she also knew that he didn't speak about her to Jude either. 
Jude looked around in thought before shaking his head. "No. I don't even know what you're talking about."
"Oh. Well, I might as well tell you." Y/N sat up properly before continuing. "Basically, when we'd first moved over here my mum told me to make friends with the neighbours' kids—you and Jobe. She told me your names and ages, and I'm thinking cool I'm going to become friends with the older brother. But by the time I was standing at your front door I'd forgotten who was who." It was then that Jude's eyes flickered with realisation. "... So when your mum answered the door I was too shy to ask who was who. So I just introduced myself, gambled it and said, can Jobe come out to play?"
"Wait—" Again, Jude had to pause before speaking. He didn't want to stumble on his words. "I was your intended friend and not Jobe? Wait. So what were you thinking when you found out you were wrong?"
She shrugged. "Nothing. Jobe told me his age, I thought oh and that was it. I didn't really mind 'cause I found out that we were similar in a lot of ways. Besides, you'd become friends with my brother and literally all you guys did was play FIFA so I didn't stress trying to be friends back then."
His face scrunched up as he placed a hand over his heart. "Ouch."
"I promise. I meant no harm with it," she said rolling her eyes, but it wasn't from annoyance. Instead, it was from unknowingly sharing banter with Jude—an interaction fairly uncommon for the two.
Jude hummed lowly and bit the inside of his cheek, nodding. He didn't want his broadening smile to be so evident. "So you came to my house that day, intending to become my friend?" Truthfully, Jude didn't care that he was being forward, or that he was repeating a question that had already been answered with more than enough clarity. He was excited and shocked and wanted to uncover more where his knowledge previously lacked. 
"Yes, Jude," Y/N affirmed, "I came to your house that day intending to become your friend." The statement made Jude beam so hard, showcasing a grin so familiar to Y/N, one that she found herself admiring and hating all at the same time. "It made more sense for me to since we're the same age. But that's not to say that I didn't want to be friends with Jobe 'cause he was younger. I think even if we had become friends, I think me and him would've still become friends. Probably even better than if you and I did."
Jude let his mind wander. All this time he thought that he and Y/N were naturally incompatible in every single way, that she could only have something meaningful and wonderful with his brother, that they were confined to the bounds of their current dynamic. I mean he was right to think so, it pained the two to go beyond their hellos and goodbyes.
But it turns out when you went back far enough—when you returned back to their origins—they were supposed to be friends, to have everything she shared with his brother. After all, she initially had sought out friendship with him. He could've been the one to give her the nickname Blues. They could've been the pair who had a dynamic that was vibrant and comfortable and lasting. He could've been the one to have Polaroids of him and her hanging all around his bedroom. Jobe had unknowingly taken his intended best friend.
"I'm gonna remind him of this every day now," Jude clasped his hands together as he hung his head back, soft laughter escaping into the evening air. "It's only right."
"Be easy on him. He's sensitive like that."
"I don't think he'll mind. Like you said, he shouldn't have been your friend in the first place." There was a curt moment of silence before Jude continued, suggesting, "I take that as a sign for us to become friends. You know, like you had intended."
"Yeah... I don't know if I would want to," Y/N strung out a long breath. Her enjoyment for their discussion was slowly drifting away. Something about it just felt inappropriate and misplaced, like she and Jude shouldn't have been having it in the first place. He was reaching, and all she wanted to do was pull away. "Besides, life didn't end 'cause we aren't. In fact, I think it's thriving just fine."
"I'm just saying, I think we should give it a try—" 
"Jude," Y/N said with a blank stare, "No."
Jude paused in his movements. The seriousness in her body language and voice wasn't difficult to catch onto. "No, what?" 
She let out a light scoff, shaking her head. "I just don't understand you. Now— now because I give you some revelation about how I did intend to be your friend some years ago that now you want to be friends? I've been trying to be your friend for such a long time and you rejected me every single time. My intention to be your friend didn't just stop after I became friends with your brother. You're some many years too late."
So much feeling, so much pent-up anger and hostility and distrust, and Y/N didn't even realise it until now. At some point, she was having fun with their conversation—it was laid-back and easy-going, something she needed after a long day. But the more she let Jude rant, the more she realised she needed to sober up and quick.
There was something about the way Jude was talking that she couldn't bring herself to like. Discussing the pair like he needed to know that hidden fact to consider being her friend. Talking like the idea of her being friends with Jobe and him was mutually exclusive when in fact, it wasn't. When all of this time Y/N would have liked to be friends with Jude regardless.
They could have been friends. That's what Jude kept mentioning over and over again. Mentioning all these what-if-isms like they were a missed opportunity by the fault of the universe. Though in reality, only Jude was at fault. Y/N had wanted to be friends with Jude for the longest time yet he always managed to push her away over and over and over, until she chose to give in and eventually walk away.
Jude and Y/N weren't friends because of his own mistakes and she didn't like that he was acting ignorant to that.
"So yeah Jude, I'm annoyed at you for that! But I'm also annoyed at myself 'cause somehow I still want to be your friend." Y/N frowned as she felt her anger deflate. The anger was slowly fading, leaving only dismay to settle. "I see you how are with your brother, my brother, the kids, your fans, your teammates—everyone! I only hear good things about you. I only see good things about you and so that's my perspective of you. But you never offer me that perspective of you so clearly I did something wrong, right?"
The way Jude was interested in his brother's friendship with Y/N was the same way she was interested in Jude's relationship with everyone else; weirdly, she wanted a part of it too. He was overly helpful with her mom, a mature young man around her dad, playful with her younger siblings, boyish with her older brother. So many desirable aspects for an individual yet she never witnessed any of it for herself, not even by accident. 
So Jude counted Y/N out— made her the odd one out. So much so that there was that one wonder on her mind: what did I ever do for you to act like all I have to extend to you is misery?
Opening his mouth he stumbled on nothing before he found his voice, now small and careful. "Can I tell you something?" There was no pride in it but for once, Jude saw Y/N. For once he saw her vulnerability, her anger and her frustrations—and all directed towards him. She was on edge because of him, and he knew that everybody would be on his case if it came to their attention so he proceeded with caution.
Y/N sat back a bit as she folded her arms. "Can't be anything worse than what you've already told me before."
"Okay, I— uh." Despite the demanding pressure on his shoulders, Jude knew that he had to take his time with his words. He cleared his throat. "Jobe doesn't talk about you two a lot, but he likes to talk about you though still not enough that I would know a lot about you. And when he talks about you he likes to brag about you being friends with him instead of me, kind of suggesting that you know... you've never wanted to be friends with me. So I kinda spent growing up thinking you disliked me."
"I've always wanted to be friends," Jude exhaled the confession, and quite shamelessly. He couldn't afford to lie anymore. A hint of a sad smile surfaced across his lips. "That's why I was excited when you told me that you intended to be friends with me instead of him. That at some point you wanted to be friends with me... and now I know you still do."
For a moment there was discomfiting silence between the two. There was a lot that Jude spoke—a lot of talk that Y/N hadn't previously been aware of. So much talk to continue discussing, so many wonders to be stuck on, so many questions to ask yet she didn't. There was one thing he had said that stuck out to her. "And he still brags to you about me?"
"Yeah," Jude confirmed, "More now than when we were younger."
She cocked her head towards him. "Why though?" Y/N could understand Jobe speaking about her to Jude but to brag? It seemed like a bit of a stretch from what she knew about her friend. Besides, Jude always made it apparent to others that he and Y/N were strictly friendly, so what was there to brag about?
But the thing was, there was something for Jobe to brag about. Jude had the answer; it was clear in his head but he knew he couldn't pronounce it. To acknowledge the answer right now would be misplaced and careless, especially with so much anger and regret going around. So he shifted his gaze away from Y/N, sighing. "I don't— I don't know."
She felt like there was more for him to say, but she had nothing to justify her intuition. She gave Jude a pointed look but his glances indicated I have nothing else to say, so she let to conversation falter. "Okay."
And when the conversation faltered there was only calm and stillness between them, only background noise occupying the time. Familiar and common background noise—excitement and kids' laughter light in the air, footballs hitting football nets with ease, distant chatter and debates among their parents. Still, Jude and Y/N remained in silence. 
They had to sit with themselves and with one another for a quick second. For some time there hadn't been much to Jude and Y/N, almost like they were destined to never share any genuine friendship. They never allowed for anything to happen between them, attraction always working against their favours. They weren't friends but simply friendly for the sake of others. 'Cause behind all of that were two individuals who carried so much mal feelings for one another, whether those same feelings could be justified or not. 
Jude disliked Y/N just to dislike her, while Y/N disliked Jude because of his dislike towards her—that's what it seemed from the surface.
But in reality, by the fault of each other, their feelings for one another were misguided and narrow. Somewhere in the beginning there had been a misreading of feelings. It started with Jude, continued with Y/N and it ended in their devastation. The devastation in the fact that they could have been something. Maybe not Y/N and Jobe something or Jude and her brother level something, but something much better than what they currently were.
Jude was right to emphasise over and over that they were supposed to be friends. That's what was intended by Y/N and by extension, intended by the stars and the universe. Everything about them was predetermined. Their foundation was there and all they had to do was settle in it. But because Jude had been so guided and moved by Jobe's words, because Jude had made Y/N feel unsure about herself, because Jude and Y/N only held feelings of anger, dislike and distrust towards one another—all misplaced and unwarranted—they were never allowed to develop a true friendship, something beyond just being friendly and cordial. 
Fault didn't equally fall on both of them but it was still shared between them.
Soon, Jude returned his gaze back to Y/N. With a kind tone he expressed, "I'm so sorry, Y/N, for everything. I made assumptions and I took it all out on you. I was wrong to make you feel that way for so long over something I thought was right. I'm sorry, really."
Just as Y/N was about to respond, the pair's attention shifted towards the youthful voice calling out to Jude. It was her younger sister who came running towards him in pure excitement and laughter, the emotions only really found in kids. As she settled into his arms Jude and Y/N shared a look—let's hold this conversation for a second—before Jude let his attention solely focus on the young girl in his arms.
He let the young girl drive their conversation. Her eyes were wide from childish amusement, hand gestures offering both realism and exaggeration to her words, the conversation moving faster than the words she was pronouncing. And still, Jude kept up. Exclaiming a wow and really! here and there, finding interest and curiosity in her interests, agreeing with almost every point she made, making her laugh whenever he felt like she lacked some happiness in the slightest, being patient whenever she struggled with her words. In their short time together, Jude was there to encourage her to lift up her voice and speak with liberty.
And for that Y/N was grateful, truly. For always validating her younger sister, for not counting her out over the small mistakes she made. Maybe it was unwise and careless of her but it made Y/N wonder if that would be them soon enough.
Noticing that her younger sister had fallen asleep– who had been so taken by Jude's mumble singing and humming– Y/N took that as an opportunity to resume the conversation. She offered Jude a gentle smile. "Thanks, Jude."
"Yeah, it's fine," he said absently as he pulled the blanket over her sister, making sure she was comfortable curled up in his embrace.
Realising his focus was solely on her sister she let out a small chuckle. "No I mean thank you for the apology." It was then that Jude's attention shifted towards Y/N once again. Her fingers toyed with the blanket as she continued. "I didn't realise I needed it that much." Reserving so much anger and hostility towards Jude for such a long time when those feelings had nowhere to go or to be truly expressed left Y/N drained. Now that they were in the process of moving on (?), for once in her life when it came to Jude, she felt heard and justified in her feelings and thoughts.
"I owed it to you," Jude admitted with ease, his eyes pouring into hers. They were vulnerable and honest. "I owe a lot to you, starting with that apology."
"And I'm sorry too—"
Jude shook his head quickly. "Don't. You don't have to." While the fault was shared between the two he didn't feel like she needed to apologise. Everything wrong about them ultimately traced back to him and his wrongdoings.
Y/N nodded in silent agreement. She wasn't trying to get them back to their previous ways. "Well then," she inhaled softly, "I know you're going back to Madrid tomorrow but I would like to try something, you know, for us? Let's try to give ourselves a real start. The next time you're back, hit me up and we'll see where things go." Y/N curled up more in the blanket, bearing a smile that was nervous yet excited while her voice became smaller and timid. "If that's okay with you." 
For some time Y/N and Jude hadn't known rest, between themselves and individually. They were nothing but mismatched feelings—some of that anger and hostility and occasional misplaced humour—and that left them with all but a chance of ever developing something that was intended for them. There had never been anything good about them and for the longest time, it made them inwardly reject what they could have been. 
But now forgiving one another, leaving previous feelings behind them, now wholly understanding where their wrongs lay all these years– they wanted to find all that was hidden in between the lines. After all, when you returned to their origins all unfiltered and untouched by their recent problems, the potential for them was there. Y/N always wanted to be friends with Jude and Jude always wanted to be friends with Y/N, a friendship that had been hidden for the longest time yet forever destined to come to fruition.
And for that Jude and Y/N would only choose to look onward, let their past become their prologue. It was objective and set in stone, but they would shape their time after today to be theirs alone.
"Well," Jude tilted his head back, almost like he was in thought. But from the unwavering happiness he was experiencing, far too evident with the animation in his voice, it was clear that he already had his mind made up. "Of course. I would like that a lot." 
151 notes · View notes
styxwanderer · 3 days
Text
The Wrong Fake Identity | Twisted Wonderland [pt.2]
part 1 <part 2> Part 3 Part4
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚***•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*·̩̩̥͙˚*
The lot of you decided to eat around the garden instead, all of them exhausted from all the running, not you of course, you are safe and secure in Jack’s beefy arms and the cushion of his abs. Although the mental panic and bashing of yours had left you sleepy and mentally drained. 
“I thought they are going to give a chase! I have never ran so fast in my entire life!” The orange head said sprawled in the grass.
“I second that! Vil is definitely going to kill me!” The purple haired boy said, sprawled as well near your feet. 
“Worse, riddle is definitely going to collar us like a dog and make us sleep in the flamingo cage! Erkk! The thought of it makes me shiver!” Deuce followed.
“If— if me, the great grim have to run like that again, i think i will just give up!!”
“Leona is going to make me run laps….” Jack more composed, still holding you in his lap.
“All of us could take sanctuary in ignihyde dormitory you know! I’m sure brother will take us in happily.”
“You! I can see through your pla—“Grim shouted
“I… i…”
“I .. i can’t believe it … i betrayed waka-sama, 
I BETRAYEDD WAKA-SAMAAA ARGHHH… how could i even repay this!! I have betrayed him! I am the unworthiest pawn in existence, ARGHHH…. What is wrong with mee. I beg for your forgiveness!!!! Kuuuuhuuu… please forgive this stupid lowly crocodileeee~.”
Sebek is curled up, hand gripping his hair tightly, crying his heart out and start to degrade himself. 
“D-damn… not so loud!” Grim grumbled
“Hey.. uhm.. don’t cry.”  deuce unsure how to console the green hair guy, sitting up. 
“Uwah.. he turns out to be quite a crybaby..”
You slide out of jack’s lap and hold, much to his disappointment, and crouched down in front of Sebek.
Sebek looked up at you, cheek wet from his teary eyes and mouth quivering. 
“Whaat…?” He whimpered lowly. 
Your plan to smack his head to the ground for being loud and hurting your newly enhanced ears, vanished as your eyes dilate into a full round. Then your self control broke.
“WHA—WHAAAA.”
Followed by a numerous “AAAA!!!!”
The lot of them froze from shock at your uncharacteristic behavior.
You had licked his wet cheek and the tears that is falling in his face. In a moment the red wet face of his had become a raging red as he hold the part where you licked him. 
“HUMANN! WHA—-…..are you trying to console me?”
You had your ears covered when he shout, bow that he is talking. Your sleepy brain went on over-drive and went full cat. You went to nuzzle your head to the crook of the aligator’s neck. 
Blushing even more Sebek then hug your waist as he scoop you to his lap. “OH HOW KINDDD! ill accept this with the greatest honor!” 
The sun shining on you had made you even sleepier, so you don’t mind getting a cuddle from the aligator man. Plus his toned abs and muscle had made a great cushion for you to sleep on. 
“HEY!! THATS NO FAIRRR!!!” Epel now snapped out of his trance stood up and point at the both of you.
“ you cheating scoundrel! I also want to hold themm!!” He continued.
“Yes not fair at all!!! Why does the one doing a half assed job get it all?” Ortho followed 
“Yeahh! Why do you have to be the one holding them..” deuce asked.
“We also deserved a rewards for saving her you knoww!” Ace said
“It should’ve been me the great Grim that they hold and pamper not you guys, i am the original so shooo! Find someone else!” 
“C’mon guys.. we can take turn.” Truth be said, Jack is disappointed that it is not him that you fall asleep on, but he is trying hard to save his dignity and so he chose to act mature as begrudgingly that is.
You had gone far from reality and off to the dream world. 
The lot of them decide to spend rest of the lunch break eating their food while also passing you around.
“Heyy.. heyy .. y/n.. its time for class.”
“Hnn.. what time is it?” 
You had woken up in deuce lap. Enjoying the plush of his thighs as pillow. You slowly wake up. Then your instinct told you to lick him and so you did.
“AA.. AA.. what ..”
“Oh sorry.. i didn’t realized  what im doing” you yawn.
“No no its alright!! you could do more if you want.” He mumbled the last part so you couldn’t quite hear it. The tip of his ears are now red.
Deuce has determined, he will never wash his face again.
Thankfully no one saw that action or the whole group is going to go for a whole banter show again. 
Then it’s time to separate to different class much to epel’s, sebek’s, jack’s, and ortho’s disappointment. 
“Ah.. i wish you are in my class y/n” epel said
“I double that!”
“Hehe.. too badd so sadd..”
“They belong with us.”
“Whomp whomp.” 
The trio idiots jeered making epel and the rest, veins popped out in frustration.
“Just ya wait ya bastards!”
Surprisingly even jack is quite annoyed as he let out a low growl.
Ortho is planning some mischievous prank to follow the trio. 
Sebek is hiding his jealousy although it is very apparent on his face how annoyed it is. 
Adeuce and grim are sneering at them like they had win something. 
Sulking the rest of them go to their respective classes.
▼△▼△▼△▼△▼
Finally the last class has rolled. Adeuce and grim not reallg excited to have to share you with the other four, and the other four anticipating your presence. You better prepare to say goodbye to your privacy time.
“Oh we dont have enough mushroom for this potion. We need to get more of it.” groaned grim your lab partner.
“Ooo..! Dont worry ill take it!” 
“Really?!! Thanks a lot y/n”
“No problem!” You hopped off your seat and begun to make an exit.
Into the glasshouse you go. 
▼△▼△▼△▼△▼
“This campus is too big im getting tiredddd..”
You groaned as you open the glasshouse. You begun to make your way to the garden-shed. 
A hand suddenly grip your ankle making to fall.. into a soft cushion?
Your hissing starts to quiet down as you slowly processing who just grab you.
Before you know it you are hold captive in the embrace of the great lazy lion. 
“Ohh.. look who is here, herbivore.” 
“Leona, you scared me.”
He chuckled in response. 
“Please let me go now.” You try to wiggle out.
“Why would i do that.”
“I need to go back to class before professor crewel kills me.”
“Hahaha, don’t worry you are safe within my arm.”
“But—“ 
Before u could continue your word Leona had rubbed the spot just behind your ears shutting you up. 
All of that human instinct thrown out the window.
Revert bacc to cats
You nudge your head toward his hand as you purr. 
“You like that don’t you.” he chuckled. 
He removed his hand away from that spot, craving for more you nudge your head to the crook of his neck.
“What should i do with you. Demanding a royalty to scratch your ears tsk tsk..”
“You better stick around with me you hear, after all who can protect you better if not me.” 
He lazily said
Leona’s sleepiness begun to affect you as you begun to feel comfortable in his hold. You decide the lion hair is messy you give it a lick.
“…”
“Ohhhh… sorry... i dont know why i did that…” you snapped
Leona held the back of your head and place your head to his chest. 
“Moving on too quickly on the relationship, are we? What an impatient and impudent herbivore of mine. I should teach you properly. but for now, let’s sleep”
Yawning He placed his arms and legs caged you and his tail intertwining with your new ones. He doubted anybody would disturb the sleeping lion, but this is you he is talking about. Everybody would do anything for you. Not taking any risk he draped over a tarp to cover the both of you, learning from experience that they are a good disguise material.
After all, the hunting game would start at the end of class, it will be an easy win for him, plus nobody could blame him or call him cheating, since technically you fall down to his arm and got caged. And on the extra side he wanted to see malleus dread angry face as he saw the both of you with burning jealousy.
▼△▼△▼△▼△▼
Meanwhile in class,
“Hey grim where is y/n?” Ace approach the doodling werebeast. 
“Oh they went to get more mushroom for the project. “ 
“Since when?” Deuce continued
“Around.. an hour ago..?” 
“GRIMM!!!” The both of them exclaimed
“Whatt.. i got distracted!!”
“The class is almost over noww!”
“And they are still not here!!”
“Ehem.. little pups, why are you making a fuzz over here?”
“Eeek!!!!” Trio idiots turn around finding crewel with the whipping. 
“One.. two.. three…, where is the other pup, or should i say kitten now?” 
“Uhmm you see proff, we ran out of mushroom.” Grim swallowed his saliva
“So they left to get some..” ace half mumbled.
A large heavy sigh escaped his mouth as he hold firm of his whipping stick.
“And they haven’t returned yet is that it?” The man tone getting lower.
“Eeek!! YES SIRE!” The three of them shrieked. 
“what am i to do with you, tch i know i should’ve prioritize that adoption paper sooner.” he whispered half of the part. 
“Well you better find them sooner— “
The bell has rung and in the same exact time the door flung open to reveal Epel, Jack, Ortho, and Sebek. 
“WHERE IS Y/N ?!!” Jack barged
“Geez you can’t wait can you.” Ace groaned.
“This is importantt!!” Ortho interjects
“It’s not thatt!! Its just—.” Epel word was cut off.
“THESE PUNY HUMANS ARE MAKING A HUNTING GAME OUT OF THEM!!” Sebek shouted. 
That is it, that is the breaking point for crewel. Fuck that bird brain crow, he is going to shave him bald. And for his naughty puppy, well lets just say disciplines awaits. 
“Is that so.” Slapping his whip to his hand creating a loud sound. 
“Oh goddd look he is emitting black aura! “ Ace shooks
“We are in trouble!!” Grim stammered.
There is a collective gulp throughout the classroom. 
“Well then what are you doing? FIND THEM!” 
“Yes, sire, yes!” The lot of them immediately jumped out of the door to find you. 
Soon news that you had gone missing spread throughout NRC.
Meanwhile in Heartslabyul,
“Where could they be? I hope those insolent fools haven’t broken any rules and trapped you!”Riddle hoped before he gave orders to his soldiers ,including ace and deuce, to find you. 
Riddle had thought that it is better for you in the care of heartslabyul since both he and trey have experience dealing with a cat beastman, hecc they can even invite Che’nya to help you adjust into your life as a new cat beastman, he just hoped che’nya won’t teach you anything wierd or questionable. 
Meanwhile in Octanaville,
“ oh my what a turn of event! My angel-cat fish is missing, i shall be the one to find her first. Jade, Floyd, our perfect plan can wait, for now its time to search them.” 
“Yes Azul.”
“Yes Azul~”
Meanwhile in Scarabia,
“Eh?!! They are missing?!! I hope they just got lost in the campus! Oh how scared must they be if they’re under the hands of one of the students.”
“Not now Kalim, we need to focus on finding them.”
Meanwhile in Pomefiore,
“Rook, did you manage to target the spell onto them?”
“ Non, I’m embarrassed to say but since they were covered by jacket belonging to jack howl I am unable to track them down.”
“Tch. where can they be… Rook change of strategy, it’s time for a different kind of hunt.
“Oui, Roi du Poisson, let your wisdom guide us through.
Vil shudders on the thought that any other dorm leader had gotten his hand on you, and most certainly he hoped it is not Leona. What a lazy lion could do to affect your beauty potential, keeps him up at night. 
Meanwhile in Ignihyde,
“ what ortho, y/n is missing, and just before the hunt. My luck could never be better.” Idia moaned. 
“I’m sorry brother.” The robotic voice of ortho can be heard through his tablet.
“Thats alright, you’ve done well. Now if you could scan all the campus and i will access all camera.”
“It will take about 30 min with the school slow internet.”
“Its good enough. Now leave it to you brother. Its going to be an eazy Peezy catch. LAWL.”
“Heheheh, of course brother!”
Meanwhile in Diasomnia, 
Once the news had reached the ears of Malleus Draconia, a loud thunder light had blasted through. 
“ calm down Malleus, it’s not like the hunt is over yet.” He chuckled.
“ you’re right lilia. I need to make haste to find them. Silver, come with me lets us play this game of hunt.”
“Yes, Malleus.” Silver anticipatingly answered. 
“Khufufufufu, they can hide all they want but it will be an easy game for us” 
Meanwhile in Savannaclaw,
“Ohhh? Y/n is missing? Shishishi…Leona might’ve captured his prey on record time afterall. Oh well, less work for me and I get the spoil too, Yeahh! Lucky!” Ruggie chuckled as he can’t seem to find Leona as well. 
[words 2318]
>> to be continued<<
.·:*¨༺ ❈ ༻¨*:·.
taglist: @agaygothicmushroom @feverish-dove
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muntitled · 3 days
Text
𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐞 | 𝐊.𝐒.
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Kim Seungmin x Fem!Reader
♡ Follow Kim Seungmin as he embarks on slaying the demon that plagues you monthly. (Aka he takes care of you on your period)
♡ Cw: Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Care, Suggestive Content, Soft Dom Minnie, slightly implied chubby reader, humour, mentions of nausea, Possessiveness
♡ He's successfully wrecked Bang Chan as my top bias
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He could tell, from the moment he stepped over the wooden threshold, when your frustrated groans drifted through the air, that he had just walked into something akin to a battle zone on the Northern front. Seungmin clenches his eyes shut, feeling his own exhaustion double at the sound of your incessant moaning and groaning.
His large hand drifts over the contours of his bareface and for a no more than 40 seconds, Seungmin just stands there.
His back hits the framed wall depicting you and Seungmin (in much happier spirits) on your various ‘baecations’ all around the globe.
Seungmin turns to examine these pictures as he kicks his Nike sneakers off and he shakes his head.
You look so carefree in the picture. Your head is thrown back in a luscious guffaw aimed at the sky and Seungmin, in the very same picture is caught, quite embarrassingly so, with his head gazing down at you with a kind of admiration ancient Greeks held for the deities they worshipped.
That same mouth of yours had been painted with a lip combo that Seungmin had spent the entire evening trying to kiss off. He kissed you and kissed you and never grew tired. You both look so full of life. So attractive. So infuriatingly Instagram-y.
“야, Kim Seungmin! I swear to God if you're standing at the door, holding my period pills hostage, I will fucking end you!”
The juxtaposition was almost laughable. Seungmin couldn't help the slightly humorously exhale that left his lips as he gathered what little sensibilities he had left to face you and your particular dragon that he had to conquer when it was that time of the month.
When his sock-clad feet glide into the living room he finds you laid on the floor in foetal position (unsurprising) with your hands clutched around your stomach, while you groan thunderously into the air.
“Why do you always resort to using my government name when you're having cramps,” your ‘supposed boyfriend’ says in a manner that is so infuriatingly nonchalant, it has your eye twitching from your position on the persian rug.
“I'm dying, and that's the first thing you have to say to me?” Instead of responding to what was admittedly an over exaggeration used to thaw away at your boyfriend's unnaturally cold heart, Seungmin instead places the groceries on the counter.
“It's almost as if-” you watch as he works in the kitchen ceremoniously connected to the living area. “You always think you’re dying and then, miraculously, make it through another month. Its almost as if this is… temporary? Dunno though, I'm not an expert.” he resorts to sarcasm while your stomach turns in nausea
“Haters!” You affirm through clenched teeth while cradling your body from side to side, “I'm surrounded by my haters and they're closing in….”
“The only thing that's ‘closing in’ is your bedtime.” Seungmin swipes his fringe to the side as he watches you from behind the counter but it only bounces right back into his eyes, “Did you brush your teeth”
“Did you brush yours,”
“There's only one of us slinking on the floor like Satan,”
“Mean to me-” you whimper through quivering lips, “You're so mean to me!”
“I'm not mean when I'm trying to get you to go brush your teeth,” you hear the sound of the water spout running before soft muted footsteps approach you. Sensing Seungmin’s shadow now casted over your serpentine form which did in fact resemble Satan in the garden of Eden, you keep your eyes shut and your bottom lip jutted out as if thoroughly,and completely angry with him.
“Drink your pills, Bubs-”
“Don't tell me what to-”
“Drink it.”
There were many things you could get away with being in a relationship with one-such Kim Seungmin. He practically radiated boyfriend energy which made walking out in public with a complete nightmare because there is a special detector stationed in every girl, letting them know they were in the radius of a particularly special boy. He knew of your aversion to outsiders perceiving him, “you want me to wear a paper bag?” Seungmin had been completely unimpressed when you brought up the topic at the kbbq restaurant in the sunny recesses of Gyeongsang Province. “You're too hot,” you'd said, “And kind and delightful and it pisses me off,”
he had cracked a smile and showed up to your apartment the very next day quite literally wearing a cardboard paper bag. He had holes for eyes and the rest of him was otherwise normal. “Let's go”
And you had fricken gone, because when Seungmin puts base in his voice, like he’s doing right now while he had a glass of water hanging above your head, there was nothing left to do except comply.
You grumble as you lift yourself up from off the floor and your eyes are hardened balls of cement when you grab the water and the pills.
“You complain about cramps but never actually want to drink the pills I bring,” Seungmin murmurs with his hands on his hips. You watch him in his billowy white shirt and his sweatpants and you can feel your anger beginning to slip away.
Chugging down your water, you place the glass on the coffee table before you begin to grumble, “Instead of medicating me all the time it wouldn't hurt to- I dunno- hold me-” the second those words leave your mouth Seungmin pulls you into his arms with a deep and heavy eye roll as the both of you fall backwards into the couch. “That was my second order of business, Babe.” He nuzzles his nose into tje side of your face and his hands pull yoir thigh pver his mich smaller one
“Unhand me, Demon!”
“Now I know you didn't eat because you never eat when you're like this,” your stomach, despite turning in nausea also manages to descend into a pit of butterflies, “But I'm going to make you a smoothie and you'll drink at least 2 gulps. Maybe even 3.”
You try to wrangle out of his grip but he keeps you there, “And you still haven't brushed your teeth, so you're doing that after the smoothie” Seungmin whispers, nearly causing an anyureseum as a places a delicate kiss to ypur cheek, as his hand comes up the back of your head, patting your hair down in intervals.
“Are you my dad?” You whisper, despite your eyes flitting shut. Your cramps, you're noticing, have already begun to ease up and Seungmin snickers as he watches the peace take over your countenance.
He leaves one more delicate kiss to your forehead before snickering, “don't piss me off” he says, tapping the skin of your thigh, “God, I love when you're like this,” you're unaware of the intensity with which Seungmin is looking down at you. “You like when I'm dying of pain?” You ask craning your neck back to haze into the vaguely serious face taking over your boufriend's features. While you examine the roundness of his cheeks and the contours of his visage, Seungmin's eyes are trained on you too. They're intense, dark holes of perpetual lust as his hand begins to rub up and down your thigh. “I like when you let me take care of you?” He whispers before lightly pushing his lips against yours. It begins as a whisper of a kiss, almost hy as the tips of your lips brush together. Seungmin sticks his tongue out, lapping shyly at your bottom lip.
You groan underneath him, only prompting him to shift until he's hovering over you, kissing you deeply.
“I need-” you try to move away but his lips chase yours, “I need to eat, remember-”
“Didn't say anything about me eating you-”
The lightening that slices down your spine is so vicious and so sudden and by the time you're pushing Seungmin off of you, you realize your cramps have completely dissipated.
“Make me a smoothie, and then we'll talk.”
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tamrielic · 12 hours
Text
just a little self–indulgent drabble thing because i’m experiencing a nasty flare–up right now due to stress and i am so exhausted and miserable but i honestly can’t stop thinking about how gentle and wonderful and perfect jing yuan would be to me; this is my first time writing for star rail at all whatsoever so. oof. i wrote it in first–person first without thinking so if i missed changing that somewhere i’m sorry but i gotta go lay down and rest
fandom | media – honkai: star rail
pairings – jing yuan × gn!reader
word count – 1,206
tags﹠warnings – uh??? excessive amounts of fluff・soft jing yuan・chronically ill reader
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“baobei, are you still asleep?” the gentle, deep voice cuts through your half–asleep state, making you groan softly as you roll over and blink your eyes open to find jing yuan knelt beside your bed. he’d clearly just gotten back from his official meetings, still looking regal in his general uniform, though his boots and cape had been discarded at the door.
you stare at him for a moment before you reply, your voice rough with both sleep not having spoken in a few hours. “just dozing. i’m sorry, i’ll get up now.”
you shift to pull back the blanket and move to sit up, but are stopped by a large hand resting on your shoulder, jing yuan having stood up to lean over you.
“that is not what i meant. it was a simple question, not a demand that you must quit resting,” he murmurs as he gently guides you to lay back down, sitting on the edge of the bed as he reaches out to brush a few stray curls from your face. his warm golden eyes search your expression, scanning over your body briefly before meeting your gaze once more, his voice softening even further with concern. “be honest with me; are you experiencing a flare–up of your illness?”
you stay silent for a moment, eyes focused on his face, head subconsciously tilting to lean into the touch of his fingers. your voice is hardly more than a whisper when you speak, your eyelashes fluttering.
“you know that i hate to let you see me like this, jing yuan.”
a deep, warm chuckle leaves him, his golden eyes softening even further as he leans down over you, his fluffy white hair spilling over his shoulders as he nudges his nose against yours gently while he hums thoughtfully.
“mmm, perhaps. but have you considered that i relish every opportunity that i have to treat you like royalty; to wait on you hand and foot? you’re so very stubborn, baobei, and you never want to accept any help,” he leans down further, brushing his lips against yours as he whispers. “how about you let this old general dote upon you today, hm?”
you immediately blush, feeling your face and ears grow warm as you squirm a bit, lips parting to brush against his own as you mutter.
“i can’t– you’re busy enough as it is– this isn’t something that the general of the xianzhou luofu, an emanator of the hunt, should be dealing with. especially not from his significant other.”
unable to stop the hitch in your breath, the tears stinging as they begin to well up in your eyes, your hands clench into fists on the bedsheets as you turn your head to the side to avoid those intense golden eyes that are peering into your soul.
jing yuan is silent for a moment, the quiet of the room only making your discomfort and anxiety skyrocket, before he lets out a sigh and moves to climb onto the bed, gently pulling you up and into his lap; the ease of which he does so always startling. he buries the fingers of one hand in your hair and pulls your head to his chest, wrapping his free arm around you and leaning back against the headboard. he holds you in silence for a moment before his deep voice breaks it as he starts to slowly and gently rake his fingers through your curls.
“those are indeed the fancy titles i have been gifted in my life. but i must remind you, fancy titles and immortality or not, i am still just a man. a man who happens to be head over heels in love with a lovely, wonderful individual. an individual whose laughter makes my soul alight, a person whose love for me burns brighter than any sun in the universe. a person who, in my opinion as well as many other’s, is far too hard on themselves.”
you can’t help but to curl into him at that, the tears spilling from your eyes as you cling to him and sniffle.
jing yuan laughs lowly, a laugh that can be felt more than heard, and he turns his head to press his lips to your forehead before murmuring.
“baobei, you must stop being so hard on yourself. or else i shall have to resort to drastic measures...”
he slowly trails his free hand down to gently squeeze the plush curve of your hip, wiggling his fingers and chuckling when you immediately squeal softly and squirm against him.
you pull back from him, your face hot and wet from tears, sniffling as you glare half-heartedly at him. you open your lips to rebuke him, but he slips his fingers from your hair to press a shushing one to your lips, his eyes sparkling with amusement and affection.
“shhh, none of that now, though it is good to see that fire in your soul that i find so endearing,” he shifts, leaning down and resting his forehead against your own.
your eyebrows furrow as you glare at him silently, reaching up and grasping his wrist to pull his hand away so you can speak.
“jing yuan, you... you’re an infuriating scoundrel.”
his lips part in a wide smile as he laughs, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
“ah, so you agree with lady fu in that regard, hm? interesting. tell me, what is so infuriating about a man being so deeply in love with someone that the effects of illnesses that are out of their control only make him love them more?”
you are silent as you process his words, truly pondering them as your gaze inevitably softens and you slowly melt against him. you reach your hands up to cradle his face, brushing your thumbs against his high cheekbones.
“i don’t deserve you, jing yuan, but... i’m selfish. i love you, and i need you. i don’t know why you tolerate me when i have such inconvenient chronic illnesses, but...” you trail off, tilting your head as you lean in and brush your lips against his. “... thank you.”
he smiles against your lips and hums contendedly, murmuring a soft “no need to thank me, baobei” before his lips coax yours into a slow, loving kiss.
closing your eyes, you finally allow yourself to relax into him fully, pressing soft and tender kisses to his lips between soft breaths, your hands still cradling his face.
after a few more moments you part, a tiny yawn escaping you as you curl up on his lap and rest your head on his shoulder while whispering.
“can we just... stay like this for a bit?”
jing yuan chuckles quietly, shifting you both so that you’re lying down on the bed as he wraps himself around you, nuzzling his face against your neck and mumbling tiredly.
“i would love nothing more, baobei; a nap is exactly what i need right now, honestly.”
you sigh softly before wrapping your arms and legs around him, enjoying the feeling of his body against yours and the comforting scent of him as you both fall asleep, the bitter and negative thoughts plaguing your mind evaporating as his presence and gentle reassurances ease your worries.
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© kaeyaphile | tamrielic – please do not modify, repost, plagiarize and/or claim any of my work as your own and please do not promote any of my works on other social media platforms (tiktok, facebook, wattpad, etc.)
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mzzledmutt · 1 day
Text
—BLIND DATE
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starring.ᐟ katsuki bakugou x reader
synopsis.ᐟ a social engagement or date with a person one has not previously met.
warnings.ᐟ SMUT, fem!reader, pro hero!katsuki, first blind date, drinking, fingering, cunnilingus, unprotected sex, vaginal sex, overstimulation, creampie, biting, marking, hair pulling, pet names (excessive use of princess), slight man handling, bakugou is a softie at heart, praise, slight softdom!katsuki, breeding
word count.ᐟ 4.8k words
m.mutt 𐂯 please enjoy my brainrot!!
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KATSUKI Bakugou was known for many things. His boisterous personality. His bulky, intimidating stature. His impressive and powerful quirk. His less than family-friendly language and his hatred of paparazzi.
You would think being in the spotlight since 15, he would be used to it at this point. Maybe even indulge from time to time but, it’s never been his thing. He makes that fact well-known, constantly. Written and spoken interviews, press conferences, and award ceremonies, he will remind everyone to mind their own business. Especially when it comes to his personal life.
New photos and videos always arrive of the hero, dressed in alleged disguise, flipping off and yelling at the paparazzi. Especially when they get too close to his family and friends. One of his most iconic videos is of his poor father attempting to calm down both his large, rowdy son and his equally rowdy, yet smaller wife.
This strong distaste for the prying eyes and cameras belonging to paparazzi, unfortunately, takes a hard toll on his love life.
Their obsession with publicizing his entire life has forced his hand in many situations. That and the exclusive life he is now forced to lead. One of the biggest downsides of being a hero is the increase in difficulty in your love life.
These few relationships he’s had have all ended one of two ways.
One, in a ball of fury and tears. As a pro hero, Katsuki is often spotted with many people. Typically, people he knows. In bars and restaurants, caught conversating and drinking. Those candid moments are always being televised, even without his knowledge.
Suddenly, his after-work drink with a few friends is skewed and Dynamight is allegedly dating pro-hero Uravity. Resulting in arguments and watching as his partners stormed away.
Two, the spark simmers out. Coming home to put on a front feels exhausting as the days tick by, they both know it. It’s only inevitable until someone’s bags are packed. They’ll cry, holding hands on his couch as he speaks. They’ll go for a hug, only to realize now isn’t the time and leaving is the better option. Soon his apartment is quiet again, leaving him alone.
All of it has turned him away from the dating scene. He’s young and green, with plenty of time to settle down. Except, the consistent pestering from peers, fans, and his own parents is draining. Balancing his hero life, personal and love life all at the same time, was nearly impossible.
“I’m not going out with some chick you designed a dress for!”
“Just give it a try, you brat.”
Katsuki groans, his head rolling back at Mitsuki’s pestering. They were currently sitting in his childhood kitchen, eating brunch as they usually did on Sundays. “You have no idea, you could find the love of your life!” His father chimed in, attempting to add support.
“Maybe you’ll finally give me a grandkid.” Katsuki cringes, shaking his head at his mother’s words. “Look, as your parents we just want what’s best for our little boy. Even if you’re a hulking mountain a man now.”
“I think you should give it a try, she was a sweet girl too. Very well mannered.” Masaru pipes up in Katsuki’s silence.
“Look, just give it a shot. I’ll give you her number and you two can work things out. If things don’t work out you can always try again.” She sips at her hot tea, eyes fluttering shut due to the steam.
“And if I say no?”
“Why do you have to be so incredibly difficult?” Mitsuki scolds as he swirls his spoon in his tea. “Why do you have to be so incredibly annoying?” He muttered followed by a swift pop to the head.
“Ow! Shit!”
That’s how he ended up in this high-end lounge, awaiting a random woman his parents vouched for. He nursed a glass of whiskey, looking over their messages on his phone. Their conversation was rather bland, nothing incredibly enticing but, everyone doesn’t connect over text.
After some time, from his spot at the bar, he sends her another text. It’s only fifteen minutes, there could be traffic. He closes the messenger, choosing to scroll through his social media feed. Occasionally, he lifted his head scanning the area.
It wasn’t a quiet night, the place was bustling with conversation and laughter. Twenty minutes late.
He sent another text.
Everyone is secluded in their worlds, eating snacks and conversing with their loved ones. Their loud conversations exceeded the confinements of their seats. Katsuki was growing impatient.
Thirty minutes late. He’s already attempted to call, being sent straight to voicemail. Was this a joke? Had his parents set him up for some reason?
Glowering red eyes linger across the bar, noticing a figure he had seen earlier. Dressed in a sleek, black dress and nursing a martini between manicured nails. And another text.
Each time he looked in search of his alleged date, his eyes wandered back over to you. Watching as you pitifully looked around, maybe in search of someone like him. His eyes shut as he grimaced watching you pout. Your full, glossed lips jutted out with sadness.
He goes to pick up his phone and sends another message before, shutting the device off. Nearly an hour and a half late, he wasn’t that desperate to pester someone who didn’t care.
“Excuse me.” He calls the bartender. It didn’t seem like this mystery woman would be appearing any time soon so, might as well take a chance. “Lady at the end of the bar,” He gestured toward you. “Another of what’s she’s having, from me.” The man nods, heading off to prepare the new drink.
Katsuki grins seeing your reaction. Confusion washed over your face for a moment before you were directed towards him. Eyes locking for the first time that night. You smile and wave, he reciprocates nonchalantly.
Soon, his whiskey is finished and another is placed before him. “From the lady.” The bartender smiles, pointing his gaze to you once more. You raise your glass in solidarity, your beautiful smile still on display. He raises his glass, as a sort of distant cheers, taking a swig right away.
He watches as your gaze falls to the background, peering around the dim bar before you rise from your seat. Katsuki anxiously shifted in his seat, unsure of where you were going but, his anxiety didn’t settle as you stride over to him.
“Hi.” One word and he’s hooked. Your melodic voice wrapping itself around his brain and heart. “Hey, care to sit?” He offers the seat beside him. “Gladly.” You’re nervous, curt responses give you away along with the slight tremble in your hand.
“What are you doin’ here, beautiful?” He’s starting bold, liquid courage providing him strength. “I was supposed to be on a date. He hasn’t shown.” He ashamedly smirks. “Funny enough, I got stood up too.” He down the rest of his drink.
“What’s your name?” You answer sweetly, a bright smile on your face. He shared it, almost subconsciously. “I’m Bakugou Katsuki—“
“I know who you are. Everyone knows who you are. I’m surprised everyone is being so calm right now honestly.” You laugh and his heart skipped a beat, a feeling he hadn’t felt in a while.
“Places like these are used to seeing pros, they get over it.” He replies, leaning against the bar top. “Not every day one-half of the wonder duo walks through those doors.” You reason, a smug smirk on your face as if knowing you’d won.
“Touché.” You giggle, a sweet sound he yearns to hear again. “Did you enjoy your martini?”
“It was delicious. Thank you, again.” Well-mannered and gorgeous. “Anything for a pretty girl like you.” You flush, thanking him profusely. He orders you both another round, choosing to carry on the conversation.
As you two spoke he fell deeper and deeper into infatuation. “I’m the newest assistant for your friend, Chargebolt. This is only my third month at the agency and I’m tired.” You sip at your drink. “Really? Been so busy I haven’t had a chance to make the trip. Can’t be an easy job though, knowin’ Kaminari.”
“It’s not the most difficult task in the world but, I do have to keep my eye on him like a toddler.” You share a laugh at the comparison.
The conversation shifts to your personal lives. Lamenting on your lack of a love life, work beginning to consume your free time. How your close friends and family have urged you to get out of your shell. Which led to this night.
His hand lays over yours as he showers you with compliments. Deflecting anytime your humble attitude attempted to shut him down. He complimented your dress, you tried to brush him off claiming that the piece was old and unflattering.
“Well, I think that dress is absolutely stunning.” His hand grasps yours, and you reciprocate. “I should know, my ma’s a designer.” He’s almost smug in saying that as if his association with a designer made him the judge of all fashion.
“I’m aware, I’ve browsed her catalog since I was little.” The way your eyes light up talking about particular garments his mother fashioned that she always dreamed of owning. “I think you’d look gorgeous in just about anything.”
“Are you flirting with me Katsuki Bakugou?”
The question hangs in the air for a moment. The two of you leaning into each other's spaces unknowingly. He could smell your sweet perfume from her, the scent filling his senses. “I am, is that alright?”
“It is.” Your eyes flicker down to his lips as you lick your own before sitting back in your seat. Katsuki’s already hooked, still leaning into your space as if entranced by you. He leans back, stuck in an unfamiliar haze of attraction.
That haze seemed to slow the time as he checked his watch seeing he had been chatting with you for nearly four hours. It was dark outside, patrons still lingering in the lounge.
“Hey, it’s getting late.”
“Is there anything I can get you? A ride home? Maybe a nightcap?” The last part was slightly rushed as if he were embarrassed. “A nightcap sounds good, I’m off tomorrow anyway.” The wink you give him doesn’t go unnoticed making his stomach tighten. “Excuse me, can I close our tabs?”
“You don’t have to.”
“Please, let me. Besides that jerk should’ve been here paying anyway.” You sit in silence as he closes you both out of the night and thank him as he helps you to your feet. Bakugou drapes his big coat over your shoulders, holding out a hand which you graciously take.
The contrast of the warmth of the bar and the chilly night air flushes your cheeks. You’re thankful to the hero for his warm coat. “Your hands are really warm.” You mutter as you both stride down the sidewalk.
Katsuki’s notices before you. The stares. People turn to whisper to each other as he walks beside you. Soon, there are flashes and cheers of his name. He rolls his eyes out of annoyance, holding onto your hand tighter as he moves faster. “Can ya’ keep up, princess?”
A small swarm of fans and paparazzi crowd the couple, snapping photos and begging for an interview. He barks orders at them to leave you alone, keeping your face obscured from their ravenous gaze. You blindly follow, rather unphased by the crowd around you.
Before you, a sleek, exquisite sports car sat with flashing headlights. Katsuki opens the passenger door, still blocking you from view as he helps you inside. Once the door is shut, you’re concealed by his dark tint. “Can’t you guys just fuck off, for one night?” It was a rhetorical question, more to himself than the people around him.
He waves at fans along the street, ignoring the money-hungry reporters behind him as he opens his own door and settles into his vehicle.
“I’m so sorry.” He’s met with a soft laugh and a gentle touch to his hand. “Katsuki, I’m used to it. This is a part of my job too, I’m just more behind the scenes.”
“They’re just invasive,” The card engine roars to life, vibrating the interior. “Almost predatory. Going any length for a snippet of gossip.” He groans, leaning his messy blond head against the leather seats. “Bakugo—“ - “Katuski.” He speaks over you.
His head lulls to the side, his full attention on you. “Katsuki. I appreciate all you’ve done tonight.” Plump glossed lips upturned into a smile that melts his heart. “Consider it a late welcoming gift. You’re lucky, I usually send assistants gift cards to a spa.”
You both laugh, a break between the growing tension filling the cramped space of his car as you hold eye contact. His tongue darts to lick his chapped lips, teeth barely grazing the skin before he clears his throat and looks away.
“You sure you still wanna go back to mine?” He asks, buckling his seatbelt and you do the same. “Yeah, it’s just one drink.”
One drink.
Just one drink.
The phrase repeated in his mind almost the entire time. Your voice disrupting his thoughts the only thing keeping him from being completely silence. He drives you to his building. A large, clean structure. Covered in windows, and lights, and well decorated.
You don’t even need to enter the lobby. Katsuki leads you to an elevator activated with a special keycard.
After a short trip, the doors open to this grand place.
You find yourself in awe as you walk through his front hall. His apartment was massive and spotless yet, homey. Although he clearly preferred a more modernized look, it still managed to have the charm and personality of his childhood home.
“This place is ten times bigger than my apartment.” Katsuki laughs, taking his coat from you and hanging it beside the door. “I want to downsize, this was an impulse buy from when I first started. A financial disaster is what I refer to it as.” You giggle, he swoons.
The blond guides you to his kitchen, pulling out a stool for you to sit in at the island. “Are you hungry? I can whip something up.” He offers. “I thought I was just here for a nightcap, not dinner.” You joke, settling down in your seat.
“Well, I like a nice snack when I drink and a lady always deserves a nice dinner on the first date.”
“This is a date now?” You quirk a brow, still rather unsure of what to make of this evening.
“Wasn’t it always? We both had shitty dates who stood us up, we just found each other instead.”
“Yeah, then I guess it is.” You bat your lashes as silence falls over the kitchen for a moment. Katsuki clears his throat and smiles, moving away to gather something to eat. “What’re you making?” You ask seeing as he stands before the fridge. “Nothing.”
“Fresh bow of fruit, put it together today. I can get some crackers and wine, that work for you?” You nod.
“Could you grab the bottle off the counter? Don’t worry about a screw I’ve got one.” You help yourself to sort of peruse his kitchen, taking in little bits of his taste from the pictures and decor before returning the bottle to him.
Katsuki pops the bottle, pouring you both half glasses. You cheers, taking the first drink together and savoring the sweet taste. “I didn’t expect you to like sweet wines.”
“I indulge from time to time, besides it was a gift from my ma.”
“Aww, Dynamight the mama’s boy.” You giggle, grabbing a fresh strawberry and popping it into your mouth. “Oh hush, she gets these kinds of things for free and knows I’ll actually use them.” He’s close, using his elbows to lean on the counter.
“So don’t always do this?” You can smell his cologne.
“Do what?” He can smell your perfume.
“Being pretty girls to your apartment.” The scents colliding are an intoxicating concoction.
“Only pretty girls I like.” A strawberry is held cautiously between his fingertips, held between your space. “You like me, Katsuki?” A rather silly question on your part, he wouldn’t do this for just anyone.
“I do, princess.” He slowly bites into the juicy fruit, keeping his eyes on you.
The sudden bass and rap of his voice along with the intense eye contact fill you with a sudden wave of heat. The facade of small talk became harder to keep up.
It wasn’t long before Katsuki was brazen enough to lean over the counter and press his lips against yours. Your glasses of wine are soon abandoned, sloppily making out as you sit on his pristine countertop. He stood between your legs, hands crawling across your back and hips as you pant into each other mouths.
Soon, you’re both stumbling down his spacious corridor and into his dimly lit bedroom. He lets you go, turning to close the door as you take in your surroundings. Once the door is shut his attention is back to you, frantic hands roaming over each other skin, pulling at the almost offensive fabrics that keep your bodies apart.
Your clothes are eventually scattered among his own on the bedroom floor as Katsuki gently lowers your naked bodies into his fresh sheets. Cradling your head as he brushes his lips along your jaw and neck. You shiver under his touch, calloused hands running along your soft skin, cupping your breast, and rolling your hardening nipples.
You mewl under his touch, legs squeezing his hips to keep him in place. His teeth nip at your jaw, lowering to nip and suck marks into the skin of your neck. Your hips buck against each other, his hardening cock jumping against your dripping cunt.
It was becoming too much. you whine, pulling his attention away from your neck.
“What’s wrong, princess?” His words are followed by more gentle kisses. “Want you, ‘suki.” you pout, eyes watering dramatically. “You want more, baby?” You nod, lips still stuck in a pathetic-looking pout. His right hand moves to your jaw, pinching the bone between a few, thick fingers.
“Use your words.” His voice is strong, and commanding. Yet, loving and soft. “I want more, ‘suki.” He smiles at your muffled words and presses a wet kiss onto your puckered lips. “I’ll give you more then, princess.”
Your jaws sore when he lets go, the feeling of his fingers still remnant in their wake. Your legs fall slack as the blond kisses down your torso, from the valley of your breast to the bottom of your navel. He follows the trail back up and down once more, staring you in the eye.
His eyes shift down for a moment, a wolfish grin forming on his face. “You’re dripping, baby.” He cooes making your skin flush. another whine leaves your throat as you tear your gaze away, trying to focus on the ceiling above you. “No no, look at me.”
“Good. Look at me, baby.” His right hand moves from rubbing at your hips, to gently caressing your skin until his thumb lands on your clit. Your thighs quiver at the sudden contact, your gaze locked on him. Thumb lowers to collect the juices from your cunt, making a show as he brings the digit to his mouth to taste you.
You’re infatuated with the godly figure before you. His pale skin glistens with sweat, muscles unintentionally flexed as he lewdly moans around his fingers at your taste. “‘s so good, princess. You taste so fuckin’ good.”
He makes of show of it, wickedly at your already blissed-out appearance. “So damn sweet, soakin’ my sheets.”
Your eyes follow him as he descends between your legs once more, harshly biting the plump skin before soothing it with kisses.
You’re so caught in your own pleasure, the shock of his fingers prodding your cunt forces a gasp. His free hand moves your thighs onto his shoulders as he stares you down. “Can I?”
One thick finger breaches your cunny slowly, gently pushing in before pulling out. He follows the motions a few times, watching as you gush around his finger. Soon, another is added. Carefully, thrusting into your pussy as he presses kisses to your clit.
You writhe at his ministrations, fighting to keep your eyes focused on the man before you.
He sets a slow and mind-numbing pace, slowly thrusting in and out. The sounds of your slick coating his fingers and your breath moans a chorus to him.
“Yeah? Feel good, princess?” He teases, gaze fixed upon your pleasure-ridden face. Your mouth is agape as strained moans are pulled from your aching chest. He was breaking you apart in two fingers, stretching you open and preparing you for his cock.
“You’re so fuckin’ tight. Gonna let me fuck this pretty pussy, baby? ‘M gonna stretch you open like a good girl deserves.” He declares, mainly to himself. Too lost in how your walls greedily suctioned his fingers back in.
Bakugou carefully leans down to lap at your clit, eliciting a soft cry and an arch of your back. He shuts his eyes as he savors the taste he was beginning to yearn for, suckling your poor neglected clit.
“Katsuki!” You shout, digging your nails into the pillow behind you. “Katsu—fuckk! Please, fuck me, baby! I need you so badly, need your cock so bad!”
He’s devoted to searing your taste into his mind. Messily coating his face and your cunny with a thin layer of wetness. Soon, he’s haphazardly withdrawing his fingers from your salacious cunt, against your protests to taste you further.
Spikes of blond hair bob between your legs, his tongue delving between your folds making you whimper and writhe. His hands grab a hold of your ass, holding you close to his face so you wouldn’t escape. Your back arches from the comforter, keening into his touch.
“God!” You cry as you fall back onto the sheets, fingers grasping for anything to clutch. His pace never falters, gratefully drinking your slick that spilled into his awaiting tongue, then swirling it around your throbbing clit.
“Kat—fuck! Baby—Katsuki!” Your body felt electric, an almost buzzing sensation that erupted from your pelvis and spread through your body. Your wanton moans are loose into the air, eyes shut as your head is tossed back.
You were a gorgeous statuette of pleasure.
You felt as if you bit off more than you could chew. Going out with a pro hero was already anxiety-inducing enough, practical criminal, allowing him to lure you to his apartment with promises of a nightcap, and now naked and wriggling beneath him was driving you to insanity.
And he's not even inside of you yet.
The maddening way his tongue circled your aching clit, inscribing his name into the bud. His blunt nails digging into the meat of your ass, keeping you relatively grounded. His tongue unrelenting stimulating your soaked pussy pushed you to your first orgasm.
A sudden wave of pleasure and the ever-growing pit in your stomach unravels through your body. You grip his hair, keeping Katsuki’s mouth in place as your hips buck into the pleasure. You loudly cry out his name, and a few tears roll down your cheeks as you cum.
He groans into your cunt, eyes rolling at the sweet taste of your cum. His hands rub your skin, easing away any pain left behind by his grip. Slowly, you open your eyes, chest still heaving.
“‘Suki,”
He pulls away, the lower half of his face soaked with slick and spit.
“M’yeah?” You can’t even think of what to say, just laying your head back to catch your breath. “You alright, baby?” You nod, still returning from your high. Katsuki crawls up to face you, a soft smile on his lips. “You look so pretty.” He cups your cheek, running his thumb along the soft skin.
“I want you to fuck me.”
He quirks a brow, a smirk on his face. “Yeah? I’ll fuck you, baby.”
“I promise, I’ll fuck you real good.” He captures your lips, sharing the taste of you once more. Your tongues are quick to entangle as you pant into each other's mouths.
Your fingers naturally gravitate to his blond hair, keeping him close as you kiss. Your bodies move together as you grind against one another, his hard cock leaking pre cum against your stomach. You’re both growing increasingly needier, rutting and panting like dogs in heat.
Katsuki breaks from the grinding, settling himself between your thighs. The tip of his cock pressed against your clit, spreading his precum as he teases you.
“You want it?”
“I want it, ‘suki.” His grin is wolfish at the nick, happily dragging his cock from your clit to press at your fluttering hole. He groans at the warmth and wetness, your dripping cunt already leaking onto him.
A pathetic high-pitched whine leaves your open mouth as his thick, heavy cock slowly bullies into your heat. Pushing deep into your plush, warm walls. Katsuki is slow, taking his time to ease you into the feeling. His lips are on your breast, kissing and nipping the soft skin.
“More, please.” You whine, your hands moving to hold onto his back. His hips increase in pace, still slow as you hiss once he draws back.
Katsuki slowly molds your tight pussy to his cock, stretching you open to only accommodate him. The sharp pain of your nails digging into his back only encourages him to thrust faster, making you cry out his name. Your cunt loudly gushes around his heavy cock, spilling syrupy juices down your skin.
“God damn, this pussy—fuck—you’re s’fuckin’ tight.” He grits out, grabbing your leg and pushing it back to the mattress. The change of angle causes you to lurch forward, your hands pushing at his shoulders. “Oh my god, Katsuki!” You shout, as his throbbing cockhead smushes against your cervix.
He’s back to sucking your tits, leaving spit-soaked freckled hickeys in his wake. You’re still adjusting to his size, the sudden change in position driving him deeper into your guts.
He’s pressed himself closer against you, his pelvis adding stimulation to your nice neglected clit. You throb around him and cry, fat tears slipping from your eyes. “Y’feel that, baby? I’m so deep in this pretty pussy. Y’feel me in yer tummy, does it feel good, baby?” You’re incoherent, only capable of breathless moans and sobs.
“You look so pretty, all fucked out ‘cause o’ me. Tell me, baby, do I feel good?” His hand cruelly comes down to press on the slight bulge in your stomach, causing your poor cunt to twitch around him. “‘s too much!” You cry out, pushing against him to no avail.
“Too much? You can take it, princess. Can’t ya’?” His pace suddenly grows rough, hips slamming into yours as he fucks into your cunny. He pressed your other leg to the mattress, forcing his cock all the way inside.
You’re mindless. Eyes rolled back into your skull, unintelligible moans and clawing at his skin. The rooms full of thick, humid air, the sounds of your squelching cunt, and a chorus of moans. Bakugou savors this image, in case he may never get the chance to see you again.
He caresses all of the right places inside of you, each thrust full of never-ending pleasure. His wicked tongue in your nipples and sinful roll of his hips push you to the edge. Like a burning fuse, slowly trailing all the way to a firework.
“Y’close baby? Don’t worry, you can cum for—fuck! You’re so fuckin’ wet—cum for me.”
Katsuki’s thrust increases to a maniacal speed, jostling you around his mattress without care. He was chasing his orgasm now, keeping you secure beneath he ruts into you. Heavy balls slapping against your asshole, the rough feeling of public hair against your soaked cunt. You can’t think let alone protest before he’s spilling his cum deep inside of your womb.
Katsuki keeps himself buried inside of you as he changes position, opting to hold you instead. You’re both panting as if you’ve run a marathon, hearts racing and skin coated in sex and sweat. You lay in silence, catching your breath for just a moment.
“Please don’t tell me you’re thinkin’ ’bout leavin’.” He mutters into your hair, rubbing your back. You breathlessly giggle against his chest, shaking your head. “I can’t feel my legs, Katsuki.” He smiles, cheering to himself.
“How about we clean up and get some rest? I’m beat.” A yawn cuts you off as you agree, alerting you to how exhausted you truly are. Katsuki kisses your forehead. “Get some sleep and tomorrow, we can continue this date. That sound nice?” You nod again, and slowly drift to sleep.
“Good. Stay here and look pretty, I’ll run a bath.”
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cenittxnadir · 1 day
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A little fever (Nightcrawler x Reader)
Okey, so this is my very firt story with Kurt. I´ll be posting more soon about him, for the moment I will only write about him. So please tell me if you like it or if you some ideas. You know the drip, english is not my first lenguage... nor german...
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Having free time was something new within the mansion, now with Magneto in charge of the institute and reorganizing the activities among the inhabitants of the mansion, he left several mutants without many responsibilities other than taking care of the minors and ensuring that they complete their tasks and training. Because yes, Magneto may be a terrorist and a murderer, but he will never be irresponsible towards education, especially towards the youngest members of the house. So every day he personally made sure that each and every one of the young people attended their classes.
Very responsible on his part, but it does not take away the feeling of discomfort in some of the members, especially the X-Men like Wolverine or Scott, -the only thing they have agreed on since Professor Xaver died-
However, this didn't bother you that much, since you shared the idea with Rogue of giving Magnus a second chance. Because if life had given you a second chance to do things well and help others with your powers, why would you be the one who would deny it to someone else who in the end only seeks to continue with the Professor's dream. Maybe a very innocent or naive move on your part in wanting to see the best in the worst situations but they couldn't blame you either, that's what happens when you live for a long time with a certain blue ex-priest.
Kurt Wagner or better known as Nightcrawler is famous among the mansion even though his humility does not allow him to recognize it, but he is very loved within the mutant community, both at the institute and in Genosha. Since his arrival at the mansion, Kurt has been the echo of the people who continue their struggle and the voice of those who cannot raise it due to the impunity that lives in a world where being different was wrong.
But for you, more than a spokesperson or a faithful follower of God's teachings, he was a man, a very good one whom you had the fortune of calling boyfriend and sharing life with him for a couple of years now.
Unfortunately, being someone who was too influential within the community, Magneto relied a lot on him and his professionalism to deal with complicated issues within Genosha. He was recently offered the position as Faith Group Mediator in Genosha and it was definitely not an opportunity he would pass up, there was so much to do and learn. But Kurt is still one person against the hundreds of problems that a nascent nation can have, the poor man was exhausted but his determination to help was greater than his physical or emotional ailments.
You had been living apart for a couple of months now, the problem was not the distance, Megneto was kind to you and gave you access to the Jet as many times as you wanted so you could go visit him, but like Kurt, you were also someone important among the X-Men, you were a very good teacher and guide for the younger ones who were just awakening their abilities and Magneto needed you in that area. It was not an easy decision for the two of you but it was a good opportunity to explore new areas in your lives, you as the one in charge of guiding and educating the new generations and him as a founding member of the nation that would accommodate those new generations.
Lately due to both of their workloads it has caused communication to be minimal, but this would soon change for you since the holidays were approaching and you would have more free time and the possibility of visiting him for a couple of weeks but the problem is that Kurt was not answering your messages or calls, worried you went to the person you least expected to go to discuss a topic of this type.
It was the 5th turn you had taken in the hallway that led to Magneto's office door. You didn't know how to start the conversation or how to ask him, maybe Kurt was very busy and going to visit him would only delay him in his work and you didn't want that to cause him problems with Magneto, even though he now plays for the good guys you are still afraid of him. Whatever the reason Kurt wasn't responding, you had to make a decision right then and there.
A couple more turns and you almost left marks from your shoes on the carpet.
"Come on, you can do it. It's just Magneto, the greatest mutant ex-terrorist in history, what could go wrong?" You started to encourage yourself "Come on, don't you want to see Kurt?" You counted to three, it's now or never. You barely touched the wooden door when it opened.
"I was just going to look for you" "Me? Why?" You were more confused "You might want to sit down." He said something serious as he offered you a seat. "It's about Kurt. He's not okay, there was a flu outbreak on the island recently, nothing alarming, but, he hasn't stopped working since he arrived in Genosha, I've trying to talk to him, he needs to rest and recover from the fever but he doesn't listen to me"
You didn't know what impressed you more, Magneto's concern or Kurt being sick. No one knows if it's part of his mutation or if he just has a good immune system, but it's extremely rare for Kurt to get sick. "I need you to go to Genosha and stop him, it seems that he only listens to you."
"Well... that explains why he doesn't want to talk to me. He doesn't answer my messages, much less my calls. I just hope that after this you give him a break from so much work, Erick." You were a little upset with him, with both of them actually, Erick for making Kurt work too much and Kurt because he is not good at asking for help. "I'll leave right away"
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It only took you a few minutes to get everything ready to go, you thought Hank would be more reluctant to lend you the Jet but as soon as he found out what was happening with Kurt he didn't think twice. After a couple of hours you finally arrived at the mutant nation of Genosha, everything was very different from the first time you visited just a couple of months ago. Everything was very beautiful, the lights, the people so colorful and friendly, children being free and happy. It was a dream.
Quickly got out of your thoughts and focused on finding your blue boyfriend who is most likely hiding away working. It was not difficult to find it, Magneto gave instructions on where to look and sure enough. Inside a large window in the main city building was Kurt... well, part of him, you could only see his pointy ears behind a pile of paper towers.
You slowly approached to knock on his door. Silence. Suddenly there was only the sound of a chair being dragged and something moving inside the room. A few seconds later the door opened revealing a rather tired Kurt. You could see the dark circles under his eyes, which didn't shine like they usually did.
"Meine Liebe?" You couldn't help but smile as you listened to Kurt, he sounded overly impressed to see you. Although the smile did not last long since Kurt sounded very bad, he was hoarse and if it were not for the light from the hallway that illuminated his face you would have ignored the color in his cheeks and the sweat on his forehead.
"You're not okay, Krut, you need to rest" was the only thing you could respond, opening the door completely and revealing the office, there were hundreds of papers scattered all over the place. "You haven't stopped working since you arrived. You had me worried" Kurt didn't say anything, just hung his head in some shame. "It's true, I didn't tell you anything because I didn't want to worry you, I wanted to finish work so I could return to the mansion with you as a surprise but work just keeps piling up and this flu won't leave me alone" He sounded really fed up with the situation.
"Come on, you have to rest. I'll take you home and prepare you something to eat." You took him by the arm carefully. "You probably haven't eaten anything useful all day."
"Of course I have eaten my love! Here in Genosha there is a lot of variety of food and delicious dishes" He said with his circus voice, he always uses it when he is happy or wants to show you something that excites him very much. Or well, with a voice attempt, it really sounded very hoarse
"Dear, candy and desserts don't count as food." You pointed to a pile of wrappers on the side of his desk. "I'm surprised you've never actually had a toothache or something at this point."
You approached his desk to arrange the papers he was working on. "Well, take your things, let's go get something to eat and let you rest."
"But Mein Schatz, I still have a lot of work to do. I can't leave, but you can go ahead and make yourself at home" He gave you the keys to his room
"Kurt, I came here to check on you and make sure you're resting and for God's sake that's what I'm going to do. If I have to take drastic measures or even if I have to drag you to your room I will do it. Don't make me go to extremes Kurt Wagner" You wanted to sound serious but it was almost impossible, you were too happy to see him.
"If you continue to be reckless, then I will have to leave and there will be no cuddling sessions for at least a whole month, anyway you are very busy with your work. I think I better go" You said with a fake sad tone as you walked towards the exit but a huge gasp stopped you.
"You wouldn't dare do that! Saying that is like blasphemy." Kurt looked at his desk for a second. "On second thought, going to rest doesn't sound so bad." He looked at you with concern, he really thought you were going to leave him without his sessions. They were sacred to him.
"Well, let's go. It's still early, if we leave right now we'll have more time for ourselves." You didn't even finish speaking when Kurt was already on the side of the door ready to leave with you.
When you got to his room you could see Kurt better, his face was tired and the fever was still there.
"Why don't you take a bath while I'll take care of the food?" you took his face in your hands, caressing his cheek and then leaving a kiss on his nose.
The bath took effect and soon his temperature began to drop but he still had to eat something before taking his medicine. They were both sitting on the couch eating some hot soup while watching something on television, although it was just background noise.
Kurt was telling you what his days had been like since he arrived, you were paying attention but you couldn't help but see how he rubbed his shoulder constantly.
"Love? Are you okay?" you pointed to his shoulder
"Ah, it's nothing, it's just that I haven't been able to sleep well lately and well... sitting for hours is not very pleasant" He said with a sideways smile showing one of his fangs.
Without saying anything you took him by the hand and led him to the bed, asking him to lie face down while you took some oils and creams from your backpack. Kurt initially refused because he knew he was going to fall asleep and wanted to spend the night awake with you talking. Not a very smart plan considering his state of health. The complaints were short-lived once he felt your hands on his back. Almost by magic, Kurt remained silent and soon you only heard small snoring due to his congestion. You couldn't help but laugh a little, he looked so adorable. You took his blanket and tucked him in, giving him a kiss on the head.
You quickly cleaned what was used during dinner and changed your clothes to lie next to Kurt, who almost as if it were a magnetic force moved until he was lying on your chest. You were definitely going to wake up with the flu but that didn't matter.
"Please don't go," Kurt said in his sleep.
"No, my love. I'm going to stay here with you"
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Arlecchino, with a daughter pt.6
I've been training my combat abilities with some of the harbingers, namely Signora, Pulcinella, and of course, Pantalone. I had not expected the sudden collaboration due to the tension around me. Whenever they are able to get to hang around me, it always end up with the question, "Is Regrator treating you well?" or the casual "You are free to live with me, if Regrator isn't able to accommodate you." Things like these makes me feel... Weird, but it is good to be wanted. But I wish it didn't feel so suffocating all the time. Lately, I've been having more nightmares, and panic attacks about the Knave... Making me grow restless and more ambitious to be able to heal from it... It was never easy from the start. Everything about the Knave makes me feel sick. I never cared to understand the reason behind her actions, because in the end, what is there to know, when her intentions were never pure from the start. Both Pantalone and Pulcinella told me about what's to know about her, and it makes me more angrier that the Knave was capable of doing such things... They fed me lies, lies that spiked my hatred for her. Until one afternoon, I fell into darkness. Endless darkness that had consumed my entire environment, different from Snezhnaya, everything appears endless, and devoid from any form of life. Enemies were fast approaching, I had to dispatch them. I draw my percussion-lock rifled musket, and started to fight off the horde. Occasionally switching to my rapier as my bullets began to wane... I became outnumbered, and surely enough I was swarmed with creatures that I have not encountered, some that were familiar. I was bound to be dead. The feeling of dread creeps up on me. In truth, I was scared to die, because I had just rediscovered my will to live during my time with Pantalone. It was too early, for me to perish without even getting the chance to see the Knave fall from her grace. It doesn't fuel my urge to fight at all. What rekindled my fighting spirit was when I saw someone, fighting their way up to reach me. I had to match their movements, I couldn't afford to lose here. It seemed like hours of endless fighting, but we managed. I lived. I collapsed from exhaustion. The mysterious woman caught me before I could land on the ground. I awoke to a woman observing a medallion...? I couldn't tell since my vision was blurry. The woman took notice of me when I slowly regained my consciousness. I see her holding up a vision. She stared at me blankly, then tossed me the vision. It was a geo vision. I sighed in relief knowing that I wouldn't have to use a delusion. For almost dying, they decided to grant me power? It was getting ridiculous. I then looked up to the lady, and thanked her for saving me from the verge of death. "...Thank you." The unknown woman sighed. "What led you here was your high ambitions." I struggled to grab a hold of myself as I feel the weight of of my actions from before. The woman sighed at the sight of the young girl slowly attempting to get back up. She was not supposed to be speaking with the girl, as she had no desire to speak with weaklings. But after seeing the girl's ability to withstand horde after horde, she decides that she is worthy to communicate with. The girl looked up at her, confused as to what she meant by that. She then elaborated further. "People do not easily fall here. Certain conditions are met before being able to traverse this realm. I barely even processed the words before responding, "...Which is why I'm here. Is there any way out?" She observed the girl who does not seemed to be disturbed by the events that had unfolded. "There is. But time will pass in long periods before you are able to get back to where you're from. Time passes differently in here." Again, the child's indifference to her situation has her interest peaked. She was eerily calm for a child.
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I felt numb. Knowing that I'll be stuck here for months, or even years, decades... While the world that I'm supposed to be would pass for only days, or even weeks. It was supposed to drive me crazy. But it didn't. Maybe I wasn't recovering from the shock fully. "Oh... Okay then. I'm left to fight endlessly with creatures from the abyss, then?" Making the woman before her raise an eyebrow at her nonchalance. But the woman concludes the young girl's peculiar behavior as a side effect from already being corrupted by the abyss. "Not necessarily. You are the source of something being awakened." I wanted to ask more questions, but from the looks of it, the woman had no interest in holding long conversations. So I decided to keep things short. "I understand." Bowing my head to show my gratitude, the woman then halted me. "You're not going to last long without proper training. I'll train you in exchange for you to make things more interesting during your time here in the abyss..." This wasn't something that I can say no to, I barely knew my way around here. So of course, I accepted. Without knowing how brutal, harsh, and mind-breaking the experience was... Days have passed, with endless fighting, sparring with Skirk, with little to no breaks, I was bound to become mad... The thing that kept me from becoming mad was how the effects of the abyss kept altering my mind. I was not used to not being plagued by nightmares, thoughts, and especially the horrors of what I had experienced before... It felt peaceful, too peaceful that I start to see changes that I didn't know that I myself, am capable of. The abyss had changed me, in a way that I could not comprehend how. A month after endless fighting, I had gained some sense of morals. It had never occurred to me before, so this was likely due to the abyss's effects. Things felt out of place, as I was drastically changing into another person that I had not anticipated to be. I was never even the type of girl to put morals, above all. Despite my upbringing influencing who I was before, why did it suddenly all change to becoming righteous, and just? Since when was I ever a good person? Becoming virtuous was not part of the plan. Skirk was no stranger to the changes as well, noticing how my answers have changed from time to time. While we were on break, she asked something that made me think deeply about it. "You're strange, for a young girl who is but a child." "I am aware. I don't fit the standards of a "normal child." I was never normal to begin with. "A child from the hearth, raised to be a soldier for the Fatui, the mentality of a soldier, yet has the fragile mentality of a child. It is no wonder that the abyss was unable to corrupt you further into madness... You were already unstable, from the start. It is a miracle that your arrival to the abyss had changed you for the better. Tell me, after the effects of the abyss, what's your next move?" She could tell I was contemplating about how I will be able to move now that my ideologies have changed due to the temperament of the abyss... I summoned the geo percussion-lock rifled musket and shot it manually towards the opponent's head. "I'll remain in the Fatui. Changes will be made, regardless of the Tsaritsa's will. Justice is to be served, regardless of the ignorant, consequences are made. I am no different from the people who had fallen from the abyss. Being in an organization that is corrupt and unethical is ironic to begin with, perhaps I am there to inflict conflict, I will continue to cause tension and bring disharmony to them. My definition of rightness will be the standard, to all."
It had been 4 months since, and I was finally able to return to where I was. But this time, someone who I had not met before approached me. Judging from the description that Skirk, Pantalone, and Pulcinella had described him, this maybe is "Childe." He approaches me and enthusiastically greeted me. "You must be the disciple that I've been hearing from the old man and Regrator. Nice to meet you, I'm Childe. But you can call me Tartaglia." Before he could talk more, I cut him off. "So you're the one who is also a pupil of Skirk's." Making his eyes widen from shock; he was ecstatic to meet another student of his former master. But held back since you were still young. Too young to fight. "Oh, another fellow student of my former master! So I wasn't wrong about you falling in the abyss. 4 days have passed since your fall at the abyss. I assumed you know about how time works differently there, right?"
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I nodded in response. "Yes. I know about it. Did anything happen while I was gone?" He chuckles. "Oh, a lot was going on while you were gone." Her expression hardened. "The Knave went ballistic on Regrator, you should've seen it in person! As well as La Signora, and the old man! Three of them were on Regrator's neck, chewing him for losing you." He stopped chuckling when he saw that I was not amused, at all. He scratched his head, his expression showed a nervous smile. "Well... I did tell them that maybe you fell into the abyss... Neither wanted to believe it until the old man made me look for you, but now you're here!" Making me shake my head and sigh. "The others haven't stopped searching, but I'll send someone after to tell them the news. But before that, why don't you hang out with me and share some stories with me as Skirk's pupils?" The man is persistent, he doesn't look like he'll take no for answer due to his eyes beaming with interest. "Lead the way." Looks like I'll be spending time with this strange man... We arrive at a dessert shop in Snezhnaya, he offers to buy me desserts despite my protests since I had enough mora to buy myself one... I was irritable to be honest since Tartaglia, treats me as a kid. He insists on calling him by his name. "After this, I'm going back to Pantalone's base." I say, he then responded, "Aw come on, I have been waiting to finally meet you. Let's chat more." I denied his attempts to stall me. "Tartaglia, I have to return to my mentor. He's looking for me, right?" He then counterargues, "But I already told an agent to inform them that you were found." I huffed at that. He only gave me a brotherly smile, to which I find annoying. "You know... If the Regrator mistreats you, I can-" I can't believe this is happening right now. I cut him off saying, "No. I'd rather stay at Signora's or Pulcinella's." I displayed a deadpan look, making him pout. "I have younger brothers and sisters for you to play with!" He attempts to bargain. "Erm... I'd still stay at Signora's or Pulcinella's." He looked determined to convince me. "I can be your big brother." Not sure if I want this guy to be my brother at all, he was overbearing. Too much for me. "No." After the back and forth conversation, he maintains a friendly aura during the exchange. The young girl was not an ordinary kid. She seemed too mature for her own age. Of course, the knave had something to do with it, she's crazy after all. Pantalone's a business man, so how can he take care of the child? The only sensible option here is him or the old man. But he's capable, he has his own siblings after all! He just needs to convince the girl to pick him over the others... She shouldn't be exposed to the Fatui at such an early age! She should be playing with toys, just like his siblings at home, protected, and sheltered from the harsh conditions of this climate. The Fatui is not a place for children. He of all people know that, except for the Knave. Who raises children to be child soldiers. But if it's the Tsaritsa's will... He can't do anything about the orphans of the Hearth. But he may be able to do something for this kid... He now sees why his fellow harbingers are fighting for this kid. He doesn't intend to lose at this custody case that they were having, even if no one looks at it that way. But he'll win. No matter what.
An: Kid gets thrown in the abyss, comes back out as fixed(?) 🤐🤐🤐 Not Childe at joining the ongoing child custody battle... 😶 *goes mia for days again* TOODLES!
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calaisreno · 2 days
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Cake
1146 words / Prompt: Laugh
Have some cake. It's my birthday.
Sherlock picks up his fork and examines the slice of cake before him. It’s yellow, with thick white icing and colourful sprinkles. 
John and Molly have already tasted their pieces and are talking about something. John makes a teasing remark about hearing aids. Apparently Sherlock has missed the question.
“Hm?”
John smiles at him. It’s a fond smile, but a sad one. Sherlock tries to remember the last time John looked happy. It’s been ages, he thinks. Even the smile on his face now isn’t truly happy. 
His wedding, maybe. He did smile a lot that day, but there was something ragged underneath. A kind of exhausted cheer. The days leading up the event were hectic, but it was worth it to give John and Mary a joyous day. Maybe it was relief Sherlock saw in those wedding smiles. Glad to have the big day go well, ready to wake up to a new life. 
The day Rosie was born, John’s smile was incredulous, full of wonder. But Sherlock could see he was terrified, too. It was the day it all became real, irrevocable. There was no going back for him and Mary. Nor for Sherlock. John was a father, and had responsibilities.
Unmingled joy. That’s what Sherlock is trying to remember. 
That was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever done.
And you invaded Afghanistan.
It was the first time he heard John helpless with laughter. They’d stood inside the front door, leaning against the wall, giggling at the ridiculousness of what they’d just done, running through alleys and across rooftops. Welcome to London.
It was the moment when he first realised he wanted to kiss John. He wanted to hear that giggle of surrender again. To laugh every day with John and keep him forever.
It might have lasted, if Sherlock hadn’t created a problem that could only be solved by dying, leaving John alone for two years. 
He’d dreamed of coming home, hearing John laugh at his brilliant resurrection. He’d been so intent on that, he hadn’t realised. It may have been necessary to go away, but his return wasn’t as brilliant as he’d dreamed.
Well, then. Neither of them has been happy.
“You haven’t even tasted it,” John is saying. 
“Oh.” He lifts a bite to his mouth, smells vanilla, feels the icing melt on his tongue. “Delicious.” It is, and he takes another bite, even though he’s not hungry. 
John is smiling at him. 
He can’t stop thinking about John’s tears, just a half an hour ago in the flat. 
I’m not the man you thought I was. 
It’s not okay.
Well, it is what it is. John hasn’t been happy for a long time, he thinks. 
Though they never spoke of it, he knows John had mixed feelings about the marriage. A part of him loved Mary, but even though he forgave her, he never forgot:  what have I ever done… my whole life… to deserve you?
Mary wasn’t supposed to be like that. But she was. 
Sherlock wasn’t supposed to come back, but he did. 
John was supposed to be happy. He wasn’t.
Sometimes he thinks John might have been happy if Sherlock had stayed dead. He would have got over his best friend dying in front of him. He would have married and lived in the suburbs with his wife and child. His wife wouldn’t have shot Sherlock, and she wouldn’t have died, trying to protect him. He wouldn’t be raising his child alone. 
He eats his cake silently, pressing his fork into the last crumbs. 
“You’ve been quiet,” John says as they walk back to 221B. 
“Hm.” 
“About earlier… I’m sorry.” He huffs a small laugh. “Mood killer, for sure.”
He stops walking. “John.”
John is two paces ahead by the time Sherlock says his name. He turns and looks at Sherlock, puzzled. “What is it?”
“Are you happy?”
“Am I happy?” He gives a short, bitter laugh. “What does happiness have to do with anything? Are you happy?”
“Well, no one can be happy all the time. But I consider myself an optimistic person. I expect I will be happy again.”
“Are you…” John licks his lips. “Will you contact her?”
“No. She knows what I am, and doesn’t expect it.”
“Sherlock, I know I was pushing when I said you should… I mean, it’s okay if you don’t want that. I just wish you weren’t so alone.”
“Not so alone. I have you.” 
Sherlock resumes walking; John falls into step with him.
“Yeah, a great friend I’ve been.”
“You’re not perfect, John. Neither am I. You shouldn’t hold yourself to an impossibly high standard. Happiness is more important. Do you know,” he says, turning to look at John, “some of my happiest moments have been spent with you.”
John sighs. “We’ve had some good times. I’ll never forget the months we lived together. You saved me. I was so lost, so alone…” Glancing at Sherlock, he smiles wistfully. “Do you remember that night, when we were chasing the cab, and I forgot my cane at the restaurant?” He giggles. “Oh, God. Down alleys, across the rooftops. Welcome to London. That was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever done.”
Sherlock smiles. “Wanna see some more?”
“What are you saying?” John halts. 
Sherlock turns and faces him. “Come back. Move in with me, you and Rosie.”
John is gazing at him, his eyes soft. “Do you know what I wished for that night?”
“What did you wish, John?”
He looks down at his feet. “I wished… that I could spend the rest of my days running after you, trying to keep up. Giggling at crime scenes, running all over London, coming home and sitting in the evenings…” He sighs. “It can’t be like it was before. I have a child.”
“Another adventure I look forward to. We’ll hire a nanny, solve all the boring cases, and you’ll write them up for the blog. We’ll be together.” He puts his hands on John’s shoulders. “Come back to me.”
John shakes his head gravely. “You don’t know what you’re asking. Rosie’s a baby, and soon she’ll be toddling around, getting into everything.”
“That’s what babies do. They grow into children, and eventually leave home. And you’ll miss her then. I want to see her grow up, too. I want to be there when you send her off to uni. I want to help plan her wedding, hold your first grandchild. I want to retire to a cottage in Sussex with you and keep bees.”
“Bees?”
“Yes, John. Do keep up. If you don’t like bees, you ought to have plenty of cases to write up by then.”
John brushes tears from his eyes. “What are you saying?”
In answer, he puts his arms around John. “You said love would complete me as a human being. I’m saying, it already has.”
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prince-toffee · 2 days
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L I F E I S A H I G H W A Y !
Written by Prince-Toffee (me)
Art by the absolutely supreme @themazziah @cosmiccanineart
Created as part of The @spopbang 2024
Before we begin, I just want to say thank you to @themazziah for creating this absolutely gorgeous piece of art that you're looking at right now. It was so good in fact that I was inspired to rewrite the story to incorporate it into the narrative. When writers and artists were being paired up, I was sure I'd be left without a partner, but after you said that I was your first choice I was honestly so moved and touched. Thank you for picking me. Nothing I write could ever express how lovely it feels to read a kind comment like that. And that's why I'll try to get back into writing Entrapdak fics, it's been a while, and I'd love to do more, the world can never have enough Entrapta and Hordak in it. (and Glimmadora, my first time writing them, hope I did okay) Thanks, Mazz, I hope this story gives you a good few chuckles.
Second of all, thank you to all the organisers of @spopbang I may not know many people there well, but right from the start people were nothing but kind and helpful, and this event is a beautiful gift to the fandom. You guys are absolutely amazing!
Finally, on a more personal note, this is a three parter, I could only manage to finish Act One before the deadlines as I was working on my final university assignments at the same time, and now I'm finished and free! And I can't think of a better way to celebrate! I'll try to get the rest of the story out as soon as possible. I hope you enjoy this little space road trip.
Life Is A Highway
Act One (of Three)
~One Year After The Defeat of Horde Prime
CloneTown, or as the inhabitants of the settlement chose to dub it, Doormat, was a small shanty town at the foot of Mount Dryl on top of which Castle Dryl stood. The doormat of Dryl, of Etheria, of the universe, Adora assumed that was the intended joke. The warrior of light examined the sign closely, a hastily put together sign stood before her, it read: ‘Welcome To’ with CloneTown crossed out. A separate board, made of wood not matching the rest of the sign, was nailed underneath, on it carved crudely was ‘Doormat’. Adora never knew clones had a sense of humour, then again, it wasn't like she spent much time among them. Or at all. As She-Ra, the Protector of Etheria, she visited many villages on the continent, observed as many cultures of as many people as she could, opened her heart and reached out a helping hand to all... all except the newest refugees of Etheria. Every time she had ventured to a clone settlement, she felt unease - most villages across Etheria worshipped her (so to speak, and that invited its own unique forms of exhaustion), but when she set foot on clone grounds, she felt unwanted, which of course, she was. Perhaps the unease emerged from the fact that all the staring eyes that silently watched her stroll into town as she did so now, all belonged to the same face, the face of her old master. One she worshipped in her youth, but no longer. But that didn't matter now, now she was walking down the muddy roads of Doormat, and attracting quite a few puzzled, angered glares. Adora approached in her normal form, strolling up as a 9-foot-tall glowing, radiant, goddess might have been a bit too much. Not that it mattered too much as she still stuck out like a sore thumb, she was the only non-clone in the village, nothing she could do about that. The warrior was cloaked in torn and tattered robes, a hood obscuring her face, so at least they didn't know who she was.
Soon enough the Warrior of Grayskull happened upon her destination, Bar Nefcy, a local, clone-ran establishment. She got a bit lost, but Entrapta’s directions were correct. There was a hanging sign spelling out the bar’s name in uncharacteristically bright pink paint. Almost acting as a centrepiece of the town. From what she heard about it, the establishment acted as a sort of neutral ground for clones: regs, defects, and whatever came between. And as she entered the establishment, she wondered whether that mentality and ideology would extend to her. And almost immediately she got her answer as the chatter throughout the room stopped, all the various patrons turned to look at her, a sea of red and green eyes staring into her. She wasn't exactly scared, if anything came down to violence, she had plenty to keep herself safe, including the enormous broadsword channelling cosmic energy that would transform her into the most powerful woman in the universe. Adora made her way over to the barline and sat herself down, each of her footsteps making the wooden floor creak, which could be heard over the silence.
She attempted to stay invisible and stay silent until her contact would show up, however that turned out to be unlikely as she caught a glimpse of her bartender, a small “Oh!” escaped her and she immediately regretted it, and felt awful about it. Adora’s bartender did not look like a regular clone, he was downright bizarre, he was overgrown with vines, flowers, and moss, all intertwined and weaved into the clone’s being. Where his eyes would be, now two thick vines ran outward spreading into a patch of moss and grass atop his head. Effectively rendering the man, blind. Admittedly, she stared for a bit too long, but she didn't think he'd know.
“Well?!”
“?”
“I may be as blind as a bat, but my hearing is as good as ever. I heard you walk in and sit down, the floorboards are on purpose. So? What’ya want?”
Adora gulped, and put on her best diplomatic voice, “No drink for me, sir. I only ask permission to stay in your bar for- I don't know, uh, a few more minutes. I'm meeting a... friend, shall we call him. A clone. I'm a friend! An ally!” Whoof. She never had to pull that card out before. The bartender didn't seem to look convinced. The diplomatic voice slipped halfway through all that. “Please.” She finished with an awkward smile on her pinched face.
“Uh huh, look this is a clone-establishment, not for… natives. You're unsettling my clientele, so if you'd be so kind and find the exit as I can't, ya know on the account of a magic flower growing out of my face. Good day, Princess.” Wait he knew? How? Was her voice that recognisable?
Just then another voice rose from the back of the bar, from a far corner booth, “Ah, come on Manny! I thought this was a ‘neutral ground’ and whatnot. You gonna denie the guy their poison? They're just trying to get through today like the rest of us.” The bartender, who Adora now knew was named Manny, groaned in annoyance, if he could roll his eyes, he would have. Adora turned around to see where the voice was coming from. There, far in the back, in the corner booth, set an elderly patron a clone no doubt, he spoke with the same voice. But he too looked downright bizarre, unlike all the other clones. This clone was thin, like a skeleton, he looked sickly. (A defect, they were called, she believed, though not entirely sure). The lower half of his face looked normal enough, well for a clone that was. But the top half of his head was a glass-like red dome with some strange displays flashing inside like a radar monitor. And not only that, protruding out of his face was a long witch-like nose, sharp as a knife. Almost as sharp as the red teeth that formed a, what was meant to be a friendly, smile.
The clone wore a mechanical suit (of armour?) that framed his skeletal features. His feet were kicked up on top of the table. His feet resembled… clamps? Like mechanical vulture talons. There was another clone at the corner booth with them, but they had their back turned to Adora, they were clearly uninterested in this interaction. The vulture-like clone stood up and wobblingly made his way over to Adora. It was clear he was drunk. But from Manny’s reaction she gauged that this was his default state. The bird-like man spoke up again, “Leave the freak alone. ‘Serve all, not one’, right?” The woman noticed that the clone acted as if he had a cup or glass in his hand... But he didn't, there was no drink in his curved hand.
“V,” Manny spoke, so that was his name, “Should have known this freak was with you, something always happens when you're around here. Trouble seems to follow you wherever you go, and you always bring it here. So why don't you take your royal friend, and go lead trouble away from here.”
“I won't cause any trouble, I promise.” Adora proclaimed, she reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, she placed the page onto the table and slid it over to Manny. “I'm actually here on behalf of the Queen, to hand you this Establishment License to let you run your business officially... it was illegal before, just so you know. As a show of gratitude and togetherness.” Adora gave her best smile. Manny just looked at the piece of paper and groaned, he turned around and walked off with the paper in hand, grumpy. Adora swivelled around back to V, she awkwardly thanked them, “Hey, thanks, uh, V was it? For taking my side. And I'm sorry I caused a commotion here.”
“Eh,” He waved dismissively, “Don't take it too personally kid, Manny over there's still a little peeved that you turned him and a bunch of others into walking compost heaps back when you turned The Velvet Glove into a giant tree, heh.”
“I- I did that to him?”
“Oh, not just him, every clone hibernating in a pod and whatnot. Thousands.”
“Oh, gods, what have I done.” She murmured to herself, she combed through her hair, a thousand yard stare on her face. “I'm so sorry... I didn't know I was unwelcome.”
“Eh,” He shrugged, “Don't take that too personally either, neither is he.” V pointed behind him with his thumb towards the doorway. Adora followed the thumb to the silhouette in the door frame. Hordak. Her drinking partner had arrived.
The Ex-Lord of the Horde entered the establishment and silence befell the bar once more, the collective of eyes glared at him and followed him as he slowly made his way over to the warrior Princess. Not too different of a reaction that they greeted Adora with. V just then realised there wasn't a drink in his hand and so he moved out of the way to give Hordak room to sit down next to Adora. He did so. The villain maintained silence, Adora thought it was to seem intimidating, but in reality he simply had no idea how to talk to people, and was too awkward to be the one to begin the conversation.
Hordak was cloaked in a black cape and hood. His blue, curly, fringe poking out from under the hood. Another thing she just now noticed about Hordak was that his eyes were different, usually fully blood red with black makeup around, just now realising that those must have been contact lenses of some sort, because now she witnessed his real eyes. Soft and organic rather than the glass shields which is what their texture usually looked like. Now his corneas were fully pitch black with black pupils and bright blood red irises, the way they shifted about it somehow made him far more emotive. He was clad in matte black and gun metal grey plated armour with neon red highlights running throughout. No Horde symbol on his chest plate however, The Wings of The Vampire where nowhere to be seen. What Adora didn't see was the First One's crystal embedded within his armour powering his entire suit. He wore the same double slit dress he always wore, thighs on full display. That was certainly a choice.
Adora spoke up first, “Sooo, ahem, I'm sure you're wondering why I asked to meet with you.”
“Yes.” He spoke with his deep, smooth voice, “Entrapta, my dearest, did not disclose why you wished to meet. And why here of all places. I am usually summoned to BrightMoon by the Queen.”
“Weeeell, I thought meeting here might make you feel more comfortable. Heard this place serves drinks to anyone, guess... guess not.”
“Hmm, indeed. I do not drink here. I am unwelcome. I do not blame anyone for that belief. My shunning is just.”
“I thought you'd be a hero to your people, especially after killing Prime and all.”
“You killed Prime. I'm surprised many of my brothers haven't turned to worship you She-Ra Adora.”
“It's just Adora. And more people ‘worshipping’ me is the last thing I want.”
“And as to why many of my brothers hate me? Well, everyone has their own reasons. For many I will always be that authority figure, a High-General, sending them off to their deaths. For others, like Manny here, good man that Manny, they believe my... ‘campaign’ here has led to your people hating them. I destroyed any chance of a peaceful coexistence. I am keen to agree with him.”
Adora didn't disagree, but there was more to it. She did not want to unpack all of it just yet so she chose to instead change the topic of conversation, “Hordak. The reason I wanted to meet with you... I have a job for you.”
“I imagined as much. However, it is usually the Queen who imparts assignments upon me and my brothers. Why this- breaking of routine?”
“Because this concerns the Queen. This ‘job’ isn't her idea, it's mine, in fact, it took a lot of convincing to get her onboard.”
“And the mission is?”
“A road trip, so to speak.”
Hordak quirked his brow. “Ooooh-kay.”
“There is an Intergalactic Conference in the Summit solar system, few galaxies away. Glimmer needs to attend in the next few days. It's quite possibly the most important event in Etheria’s history.”
“And what does the conference pertain to? If I may ask?”
“Securing Etheria’s status in the universe. Glimmy wants to appeal to The Council of The Known Universe and have Etheria recognised as a developed-enough world to join The Council. Ever since Etheria had been freed from Despandos it has been at the mercy of the rest of the universe. As a magical mediaeval world, Etheria’s has been seen by the rest of the universe as ‘underdeveloped’ and ‘primitive’ and as ‘defenceless’. Becoming a part of The Council will grant us safety. Their technology advancements. Limitless food and medicine - access to planets they’ve constructed dedicated solely to agriculture and harvesting. Respect among other worlds. Protection from other tyrants across the cosmos like Prime. Make sure it never happens again. The Council of The Known Universe, turns out, was established to create a barricade against tyrant empires like Prime and The Galactic Horde. Etheria needs protection like that, but there's a problem.”
Hordak placed a hand against his chin as he pondered on the matter, “The Primusians.”
“Yes. You've heard?”
“I have, through the ‘grapevine’ as you would call it; clones talk, or think (telepathically), especially here. V doesn't keep anything to himself. Primus pirates have been assaulting crafts around the system, many of them clones seeking home off-world. They've been quite active since our ‘stunt’ with the Minister of Armament and Defence. You're afraid they have their sights set on the Queen. Making transporting her a major risk.”
“Yeah, you got it. I knew you'd catch on.” Hordak shot her an inquisitive look as well as a bombastic side eye, “Anyway, the plan is to send a new unmanned decoy ship on the route to the conference. Pirates explode it, and hopefully they'll think the bodies got incinerated.”
“That's that then.” Hordak remarked satisfied.
“Yeah, except Glim still needs to make it to Summit. And that's where you, and your... team comes in. I hear you have a ship, don't know how, but you do. You'll escort Glim on the longer way around the Black Donut system and deliver her to the conference on time.”
“That will take days.”
“One week exactly. One way each. That's why I’m here now, the Queen’s orders.”
“It does not sound like the Queen would be thrilled about this idea. My brothers can be... a lot.”
“She isn't. But she knows it's the right thing to do.”
Hordak sighed. “Adora why would I-“
“Because you owe me.” She suddenly became incredibly serious, her glare at Hordak hardened, and Hordak fell silent. He really did. Freeing him from Prime’s influence. Dropping in a good word for him at his trial. He most likely wouldn't have been with Entrapta at all without her. He simply nodded in agreement. “And... because I love her.”
“And you would trust me to keep her safe?”
“The same way I'll keep Entrapta safe while you're gone... So? Deal?”
-        - -
Day One (of Seven)
“No. No deal.” Glimmer remarked defeated. “This is a bad- ugh- I don't like this plan, just stating that for the record.” The Queen of BrightMoon spoke to the holo-pad, arguing with the screen. On the other side of the screen was a smiling but slightly scared Adora. Glimmer marched through the corridors of Castle Dryl, the never-ending labyrinth, that Glimmer was 80% sure was constantly shifting, trying to confuse her. It didn't help that she was constantly going down, deeper into the mountain. Entrapta was the master of traps after all. But Glimmer continued on her path anyhow. She had a map display hovering over the holo-pad that clearly outlined where to go. And surely this wasn't a trap, a planned scheme to assassinate her, right?
“I know what you're thinking; It's not a trap.”
“I- wasn't thinking... that.” She squinted at the map overhead, “I swear the corridors are moving, how is that even possible. It also doesn’t fill me with confidence that Entrapta called this, ‘The Basement’.” The monarch wore her traditional purple outfit, glittering cape, golden accents around the belt, shoulder pauldron, and of course her royal tiara. Her stern look faded away and a sadness took its place. “Why couldn't you’ve come with me?”
“~Oh, StarLight, I'm sorry. I want to always be at your side, and I would be if I could. But the strange signals emanating from the Crystal Castle, it could mean LightHope’s back. And if LightHope is back, which her is she? And why would she be transmitting off-world?”
“So you'll be on the other side of the universe.”
“As soon as I'm done I'll B-line it to you. Just- just wait for me. You're in good hands until then.”
“...I wish I could hold you, I miss you already.” Glimmer's words brought a warm smile to the She-Ra’s face. Adora turned away, avoiding eye contact, a blush rising across her face.
“I miss you too. But please, trust me, it'll be okay.” Adora turned to look at something out of the holo-pad’s view, she sighed, “I have to go. I love you. See you in a week.”
And the transmission terminated.
Glimmer sighed. Already missing Adora’s voice. She believed she was approaching her destination, a large mechanical door stood before her. The GPS on her holo-pad indicated that she had reached ‘The Hangar’. “Okay.” She accepted the journey ahead with one word. Glimmer swiped the touchscreen on her whole pad, the bypass code got transmitted to the control panel at the doors ahead. The green light indicated the door unlocking. And the metal doors slid upward with a hiss. A light spilled into the corridor, so much so Glimmer had to shield her eyes with her hand. She took a step inside and almost tripped over immediately. She looked back to see what it was, and noticed that the floor was littered with a variety of… strange and seemingly unrelated things; Pipes, cables, and various other pieces of machinery, she guessed. There were also art supplies; Paint buckets, brushes, canvases, and spray cans. As she turned around to face forward once again she ducked immediately as she was almost closelined by a low hanging clothing line, various photographs hung up along it. Various landscapes from the brief glimpse that Glimmer caught of it.
“Look out.” A familiar voice called out, but it came from an unfamiliar character. Glimmer followed the voice to match it to the clone face. The man wasn’t even looking at her, which meant she must have yelped quite loudly at some point. She re-composed herself and made her way to the clone, the closer she got, the more details revealed themselves to her. The man was, in fact, a clone, he had the same voice and Hordak’s face, but that was almost where the similarities ended. The tuft of hair on top of his head was dyed in a patchwork of every colour, it was quite strange seeing all that colour on a clone. But the most defining characteristic was the fact that he was wheelchair bound due to his two missing legs, amputated just above the knees. The defect was sat in front of a sizable canvas, a paintbrush in hand and in the middle of creating a new painting. The painting was, no doubt about it, gorgeous. It depicted Doormat, at the foot of Mount Dryl. The light that had blinded Glimmer earlier when she entered had come from the massive open hangar bay doors letting the daylight in. She assumed that was where he got the photos and references from.
“It's beautiful.” She remarked.
“What? This? Thank you, but no, it's just a warm up, and it's hideous. I think I might be having an off day. See that tree?” The clone pointed to a perfectly fine tree on the painting.
“Right.” She should have probably introduced herself, “I'm-“
“Cargo.” He finished.
“Not how I'd like to put it. But yeah, I- uh- I’m Glimmer.”
“I know. You’re the Queen. You send me and my brothers on suicide missions.”
“Yeah... uhmm, yes, soooorry about that, and you are?”
“Moe.”
“Moe. I'll- I'll remember that. Is Hordak here?”
“He's with Entrapta, doing… whatever mad-scientists do. Making time travelling microwaves that send your meal forward in time to when it's already done?”
“Heh, it's Entrapta, it wouldn't surprise me. She can do anything she sets her mind to.”
The joke seemed to resonate with the artist, he smiled, “We're taking off soon, Dak’ll be down in a bit, feel free to get set up on the ship, try getting used to it, the trip’ll be a few days long.”
“Thanks.”
Glimmer turned to the ship in question, The Annihilation it was called. It was a Horde troop carrier dropship repurposed as a mobile home to The Defects as they recently began calling themselves. Looks like they were really owning it. The dropship had a new paint job, no doubt thanks to Moe, an angry face painted over the cockpit, angry eyes and a row of sharp teeth. And a mural on the side of the hull, abstract, but unfinished, she presumed. The ship had Christmas lights hung up all along it, a TV satellite dish on top, and a footpath leading to the lowered ramp into the loading bay. The Annihilation was surrounded by a white picket fence, turf of fake grass, a small cheap fountain (kinda ugly, with a gnome spitting out water at the centre). And a mailbox at the front, not that anyone ever sent in any mail, it was all very cute however.
The Queen of Light made her way into the loading bay, up the ramp, and quickly realised it was... A living room? A TV, a couch, and a carpet. All bolted down so it wouldn't fly out presumably. She was surprised at the mundanity of it all, she was expecting something far more alien or militaristic. While her head was in the clouds she tripped yet again. She growled at her own clumsiness, “What? Do I have two left feet today? What now?” She looked down at what had tripped her up and she almost jumped out of her skin. It was a man, slumped over, on the ground, leaning against a wall, a cable lodged into the back of his head. He was silent, he wasn't moving. Glimmer’s thoughts raced madly; He's dead. They killed someone and stuffed him into their ship. She was looking at a corpse right now!
Then a voice came from above, “Heh, you know that happened to me once.” She looked up to see a skinny man hanging upside down from the ceiling like a bat, he smiled with his bright red fangs, “Mortar shell. Blew me into pieces. Turns out I grabbed someone else’s leg! HA!”
“...Wh- What?”
“Two left feet! We all match so the joints just pop in! Customizable action figures, batteries sold separately.” V cackled to himself as he descended from the ceiling and landed before the monarch. Glimmer wasn't sure how to respond, or what she was looking at, some sort of birdman? She was at a loss for words, since her mind was still on the potential corpse at her feet. “V.” He indicated himself with his hand.
“Is this a dead body?!” She pointed to the clone on the floor in panic and anguish. V craned his neck to look past the Queen. V waved it off matter of factly.
“Eh, don't worry about Drag. Kid’s just taking a nap.”
“So I shouldn't be worried?”
“Oh, well, no, you definitely should. ‘Nap’ so to speak. The truth is far more horrifying. You see little Drag is in a state of constant rapid brain degradation the curjigger he's hooked up to continuously recreates his brain through... woff nanobots? I don't know, Dak’s the one who does machines. The boy fainted not long ago, so he'll be out for a good while.”
“How long is he usually out for?” She still asked panicked.
“Uh, I don't know, varies, sometimes hours, sometimes days, whatever the story needs really. I'm sure he'll be back by the third act.”
“... What are you talking about?”
“I don't know. Anyways, make yourself at home, but not too much, the chaotic mess is on purpose.”
“The ‘I know where everything is’ type of organisation system?”
“What? No, I don't know where anything is, it's just to annoy Hordak. Sometimes I dump buckets of mud and dust inside just to see how furrowed his brows can get. Ha! He gets so angry.”
Glimmer just now noticed that V had patted the couch as he made his ‘make yourself at home’ statement. “Wait, I'm… sleeping on the couch?” She remarked in disbelief.
“Weeell, yeah, what did you expect?”
“A room?!”
“Ahhh... No. Heh. No.”
“Unbelievable.”
“Hey, it's not that bad, this is the best spot on Anni! You got a perfect view of the TV (which has channels from the next three galaxies). A few itchy blankets and who knows what wonders hide between the couch cushions; Just today I found Drag’s goldfish’s food... Oh shoot, I knew I forgot something.” He tapped his chin.
“I'm in Hel. I died, and now I'm in Hel.”
“HA! Not yet. But The End is coming. Soon!” V waltzed away saluting her away as he ventured off to check up on his younger brother’s fish.
“Wait! Can't I have Drag’s room? Or is his room the corridor?” She asked sarcastically.
“Sorry, Candy Floss, he ain't interchangeable. You’ll just have to deal with it.” The doors to Drag’s bedroom closed and he was out of earshot.
“...Great. Perfect. Great idea, Adora. Thanks, hun.”
-        - -
“I wish you could stay.” Entrapta sadly remarked.
Hordak took a moment to reply, he looked away and down, “... As do I, Beloved.”
It was another day, another mission and once again the universe had decided to tear them apart as it often did. It was especially bittersweet and tragic as the couple had plans for today, family picnic, so to speak. Entrapta sighed as she soldered the motherboard in front of her, their mask down and covering her face, “I was really looking forward to working on the power couplings for the hyper light telescope. I bet we can see the Lynks system from here! I heard rumours that they've managed to construct an entire artificial star! It powers their two nearest colonies!... I- I can wait for you... And we could do it together when you get back, how long can the escort be? Two?- Three days?” She tried to keep up a genuine smile.
“We estimate a week to the Summit system, and one week to return.” Hordak hid most of himself under his cape like a weighted blanket, “I know how much you love star gazing, you shouldn't have to wait for me. You should enjoy yourself without me.” He reached out for Entrapta’s hand. Entrapta let go of the soldering iron, and accepted the taloned hand of her partner. The Ex-Lord of the Horde softly massaged her hand, his thumb moving in circles.
She gently squeezed Hordak’s hand in return, “But I'd love for you to be with me. Us, together, you know?” She snuggled into Hordak’s chest, leaning her head against him. Dak held her hand and placing his other hand against Entrapta’s back, a gentle touch, “That's the life I wanted for us.” She murmured lowly, almost a purr.
“I know.” Hordak spoke solemnly.
“...It feels like we're apart every day now. I thought things would get better… and here you go again.”
“I know. But this request- it came from-“
“Adora, I know.” Entrapta lifted her mask, revealing a small smile, “That's the only thing I like about this.” That made Hordak raise one of his brows, “You, opening up to her, it's cute. She's a good girl. I'm glad you're making new friends.” She patted Hordak’s chest.
“Well, I wouldn't go that far-“
“Hordak.”
“Ah!” Hordak jumped, scared by the voice inside his head. The clone turned around to find Lee, another one of his brothers, just standing there – Menacingly. “Lee! How did you- ? Where? Why?!”
“We have a problem.”
*Italics indicate telepathy – Toffee*
“What?”
“The Queen is currently in our home.”
“Yes, she is the cargo.”
“…Why was I not informed of this?”
“Because you wouldn't have liked it.”
“We are transporting (possibly) the most powerful woman in the universe - that is going to turn heads, and paint a target on our backs. Are we not meant to be secret task force?”
“That is why we and the She-Ra are the only individuals aware of this mission. And, were you not the one who urged me to establish a more trusting relationship with the rulers of this world? Do you not think that a favour such as this would aid in improving relations between clones and natives?” Lee pondered on it, he nodded. He would have grunted if he could, unfortunately for Lee, his entire lower jaw was missing. By far his most noticeable and unique feature.
“...Sooo? Are we-? Is this-? Are we done? I'm just getting half of the conversation here, just so you know.” Entrapta poked in.
Suddenly V also appeared out of nowhere behind Hordak, “Hey we have a problem.”
“Gahhh! Where did you?! How- What?! Ugh. Yes, we know; the Queen.” Hordak face palmed.
“What? No. It's Drag’s goldfish, it's dead.”
“What? I thought you were feeding it.”
“I thought Lee was feeding it.”
“Well, I thought Moe was feeding it.”
Hordak sighed, face in his hands, “Fine, we'll figure it out on the road, just go, get out of here.”
Lee just looked at him, and turned away, “I'll be on the ship. I'm assuming all the relevant mission information is on board?” Hordak nodded. “Then I will be there, studying.” And the clone disappeared as soon as he appeared. V followed.
“He's scary good at that.” Entrapta remarked.
“Hmm.”
“I don't think he likes me.”
“They’ll come around...”
Both of them stood there for a moment, in silence. “So... you should probably get going.” Entrapta remarked sadly, not ready to let go again so quickly.
“Mmm.” Hordak looked around the lab, “Where is Imp? I wished to say goodbye to him before departing.”
“Probably hiding, lil rascal hates to see you go. He misses you you know.”
“I know…” A sadness washed over his face. 
“Look, I know you're at work, the last thing you need up there is me. But-”
“I would spend my entire life at your side! I love your voice. I adore your beautiful mind. And worship your heart for all the love you have offered me. You are not a hindrance!”
“Okay, okay, haha.” She looked down at the ground with a warm blush on her cheeks, “I know, I get it.”
“You think so little of yourself, I know how you are. And I do not appreciate it.” He landed a soft kiss on his partner's cheek. Which drew a chuckle from her.
“OK, OK, enough! You know I can't take compliments!” She exclaimed joyously as she smooshed his cheeks with her soft gloved hands.
“It is my duty as your lab partner to remind you of your worth, your beauty and your wonder, and that is just a scientific fact. Now, what- uh- what were you going to say before I rudely interrupted?”
From a large pouch on her utility belt Entrapta fished out a small Rubik’s cube-like object, which shifted in her palm and unfolded into a large two-handed holo-pad, and handed it over to Dak, “You know how I've been working on the intergalactic communications array?! So, I've been working on downsizing it and managed to incorporate it into a screened device - this holo-pad will allow us to stay in touch, even worlds apart. It’s only a prototype, of course, but it should work perfectly.”
What a loving gift. Entrapta always bestowed such wonderful presents, Perfuma proclaimed that it was her love-language. Hordak did not understand what that meant exactly, but his mind wondered, how could he further ‘communicate’ in this ‘language’? “Beloved, I- This is a most thoughtful gift, but... it is standard protocol to not take any contraband that could possibly link us to and could be traced back to Etheria in case the ship is breached... but, I suppose with the literal Queen of Etheria on board, that rule does not apply.” He smiled. Entrapta matched the smile.
“I will call you, when you're on your way, later today.” She raised on her tippy-toes and kissed her tall partner on the cheek, “Keep you company.”
“I would appreciate it.”
         Hordak and Entrapta lost themselves in each other's eyes as they often did, they wordlessly embraced in a warm hug. Their foreheads found each other, eyes closed, they allowed themselves to smile just a little.
         “I love you.”
         “I love you, more.”
         “Scientifically impossible, I love you far more.”
         “No, I love you more!” They giggled softly to each other.
-        - -
Glimmer had unpacked, to the best of her abilities, that is to say she was pecking at one of her packed lunch sandwiches and marked the couch as her territory by placing her luggage all over it. The Queen was now just sitting on the couch, slouched. This was going to be a long trip, she could tell. So she tried to distract herself by glueing herself to the TV. Unfortunately, the channel she was watching was broadcasting from an alien system with a language she did not understand. She could infer from the tone of the voice and the acting what was going on. It was some sort of telenovela, ooorr a reality TV show? No, Glimmer had no idea where the remote was. So that was it, her life for the next week. Hopefully Adora and the rest of the Princesses would take her on the way back after the conference.
         “Oh, nice, that's a good episode.”
         “What?” She turned back to see V standing behind her like a dad at a BBQ over a grill, a coffee mug in hand.
         “Sapphire Lakes. Great show. A handful of wealthy women who pretend to be friends are locked up in a small lake house for a week where they scream, lie and backstab each other for a cash prize. It's truly peak television. Tiffany's just confronting Jade about cheating with Keith.” He pointed gleefully at the screen.
         “How do you know all this? It's not even in Etherian?”
         V taped the side of his head, presumably where his ears would be, wait, did he even have ears? “Air-Vibration Translators. Convert any nearby language to clone speak.”
         “Huh.”
         “Your majesty.” Glimmer’s eyes followed the voice to the clone entering the drop ship, it was Hordak. Long black cape covering his body and draping behind him on the floor. His battle armour underneath, no longer bearing the symbol of the Horde, but rather the symbol of Dryl, purple gear with a star at its centre. Proud property of his wife. 
         “Hordak, finally. I wanted to speak with you.” Glimmer spoke up.
         “Lee here?” Dak turned to V.
         “Yeah, he’s in.” V replied, still glued to the TV screen.
         “What? I didn't see anyone enter.” Glim remarked confused.
         “Yeah, that's Lee. If he wants to, you won't see him all week.” V shrugged.
         “One can only hope.” She murmured.
         “I see you've already gotten acquainted with the crew. Uh- Make yourself at home, I suppose. We depart soon.”
         “Uh- Thanks...”
         “...”
         “...”
         “...Soooo, How- uh- how are you?...”
         “Yeah, I'm- I'm good- I'm alright... How... Are you?”
         “Good. Good...
         “... Yeah.”
         “... Alright, let's go.” He awkwardly turned around and departed to the ship's cockpit.
         V stopped on the way, “Hey, Daky, beloved brother of mine, my favourite person in the whole wide cosmos.”
         “What do you want?” Hordak sounded tired already.
         “Can I drive?”
         “No.”
         “I'm a pilot! I was a pilot back in the day! I'm good at flying. I'm a pilot... Can I-?”
         “You are not touching my ship.”
         “But you let Entrapta work on the ship!?”
         “That, dear brother, is because she's competent.”
         Glimmer huffed as she leaned against the couch cushions, “This is going to be a long week.” She returned to her slouching.
         Hordak marched up the small steps that led to the cockpit which was a narrow space; and sat one on the front seat, the pilot seat from which one would steer the ship via the steering wheel and the numerous unlabelled buttons covering the control panels on either side of the wheel, some blinking, some not. (How Hordak knew to press what, was beyond this trans-fourth-dimensional narrator.) V attempted to flick a switch, but his hand was slapped away by Dak, who didn't even take his eyes off the panel. V frowned like a toddler that was denied cookies from their mom, and he fell down onto the back seat of the cockpit, the navigator seat. The navigator would advise routes throughout space and monitor the status of the ship.
         A finger taped Glimmer on the shoulder, she turned to see Moe, now on board, “Can I take some of these?” He asked, pointing to the pillows on the couch.
         “Uh, yeah, sure.” She handed the clone the pillows, and watched him make his way to Drag. Moe climbed down from his wheelchair and gently moved his brother to lean forward, still unconscious, and placed a pillow behind his head. He wanted to lift his younger brother and place another pillow under him, but Moe, being a defect, was unable to lift his weight. So, he was surprised when Drag did lift up. He looked up surprised to see that Glimmer had lifted the comatose clone up by the underarms. Moe was pleasantly shocked for a moment, but continued and placed a pillow for Drag to sit on and one to lean against. Glimmer lowered him, and helped Moe up onto his wheelchair. And pushed his wheelchair to the couch.
         “Thanks- Bay doors.” He pointed to a big red button with a lock image on it. Glimmer pressed it, and the ship’s ramp receded in and the heavy shutter doors sealed them in, and would seal the void of space out. “Thanks.”
         “No problem.” They returned to the couch.
         “He's always sore when he wakes up.” He remarked worryingly. The gesture was cute, that little act of kindness surprised Glimmer.
         V’s voice echoed through the ship, “Non-clones and gentle-clones please take your seats as we're about to rocket ourselves into the void of space through a wall of fire surrounding the planet, so we're all probably going to die, so say your prayers to whatever deity you believe in, won't matter though because we live in a nightmare world where there truly is no god.” He announced cheerfully. A loud smack could be heard and an “Ouch.” from V.
         Hordak’s voice came through, “Ignore him.”
         “You’ll get used to that,” Moe spoke up, “That's like Dak’s catch phrase.”
         “Is your brother, the bird one, always like that?”
         “No, he's usually worse. He's on good behaviour since we have a guest over.”
         “Are we- going to experience some turbulence? No offence to your brother but anything he makes is usually held together by duct tape. Are we about to turn into a giant fireball? He loves big fiery explosions.” Glimmer asked concerned, recollecting about the Fright Zone.
         “HehHa! Yeah that sounds like Hordak, alright.” He wheeled himself over to a front corner of the ship which had a standing canvas, some small cabinets at the side supposedly housing some art supplies. There was also a small circular window at the corner framing the view of the outside. “The Annihilation has been through a lot, but you won't find a more reliable (and lucky) ship in The Holy Armada! You won't even feel the take off.”
         “How do you know?” Glimmer asked unconvinced.
         “Come take a look.” He just pointed to the window. Glimmer, confused, waltzed over to the window, her eyes widened in shock at what she saw. A blue surface, rippling and kicking up as the ship zoomed past; a river, then fields of trees, zipping by. They had already launched. Mount Dryl shrinking into the distance.
         They had launched from the side of the mountain, out of the hangar bay doors, cloaked by Entrapta’s holographic disguise field. Soon they surpassed the clouds, and pierced into the atmosphere. For a moment the window became coated in fire and flame. And then it passed, and now the Queen of Light stared out into an endless black void reaching out into infinity. Across the blackness were white speckles; stars, distant suns, sustaining worlds and civilizations all of their own, Etheria a distant speck to them all.
         Before they could leave Etheria behind there was one obstacle left; a barrier of warships guarding the planet from the upper atmosphere. An impenetrable wall of hull and fire power. The most powerful warships that side of the galaxy. After the Fall of Prime over a year ago the clones were freed from his control, left to aimlessly wander Etheria - for the first time in their lives without purpose. The clone population was stranded on Glimmer’s magical world, the Princess Alliance weren't about to just let their invaders take back their war machines and leave to who knows where, or worse, turn the weapons back against Etheria. So, at first the warships over Etheria were disabled. But over the following months, as Entrapta established communications with various systems, and rumours began to spill out. A sizeable number of them coming from the clone grapevine. The refugee clones slowly began to form pockets of community around Etheria. The Princess Alliance never stood against it, and even helped establish those pockets, BrightMoon was always involved in combating homelessness, a programme started by Glimmer’s mother, often allowing homeless citizens take shelter and live within the walls of BrightMoon castle.
         Within the clone settlements many managed to establish contact with the outside, smuggling becoming a major enterprise. Clones being the main item smuggled off world. Through Hordak various rumours reached her; Word of various larger neighbouring systems eyeing Etheria with watering mouths. Smaller less developed planets often fell prey to larger powers, Glimmer wasn't about to let that happen. And the answer was right under her nose. The clones knew how to operate the worships, of course they'd be supervised by BrightMoon knights, but to her pleasant surprise the clones dedicated themselves to their posts rather quickly and without much convincing or argument. They were desperate for a mission, for a purpose. And so, Glimmer gave them one; Protecting their new home.
Glimmer sighed, “I'm going to be honest I would’ve felt much better about this if the starships could escort us... No offence, uh…”
“Moe.”
“Moe.”
“Short for Mosquitor.”
“Oh.”
“I'm guessing the point of all of this is to stay unseen, and not to attract much unwanted attention.”
“It is. Heh, not to mention the reason why we're going to The Council of the Known Universe is to make allies, it’d be hard to do that if we just pulled up with a starship overhead. Don't want to prove the threats and fear mongering rumours correct.”
“Didn't you just reason your way out of the predicament?”
“I suppose I did.”
“Also, those aren't starships, heh, you haven't seen a Starship yet. Warships of The Holy Armada are impressive, no doubt about it. But starships are unfathomably enormous. Giant rings, large enough to surround an entire sun, draw power from it, often acting as a shipyard constructing warships for the Prime’s endless conquest. They’re pretty, in a horrifying kind of way.”
Glimmer couldn't even imagine something of that scale. Things like that often made Glimmer put things into perspective of how small and secluded Etheria was. How little she was in the vastness of the cosmos. It frightened her, but she chose not to think about it. But unbeknownst to the Queen that phobia had led her actions subconsciously. Many people are guided by fear, even kings and Queens, whether they know it or not. Glimmer, whether right or wrong, was stepping along the path of fear.
Glimmer’s eyes scoured the dark space and managed to spot a small brush of green among the canvas of black, the only spot of colour in space. “Huh.”
Moe took note of the response, “What? The Velvet Glove? Huh, looks different than when I last saw it, greener!”
“Yeah, that might have been my and my friends’ doing. My… friend, Adora, kinda,” Glimmer scratched the back of her head, “Turned the ship into a giant tree.”
“With many of our brothers still within.”
“Yeah, sorry about thaaAAHHH!” The Queen of Light embarrassingly shrieked as she noticed a third figure standing behind them silently. A man missing his lower jaw. He narrowed his blood red eyes, their wrinkles around his eyes more visible. Glimmer covered her mouth like an old Victorian maiden. “Sorry. My bad. Sorry. Hehe.” Lee seemed unamused. The old clone’s pupils lit up and he turned to Moe. Moe turned back to face him, his pupils lit up too. The two stared at each other without a single word spoken for a moment or two. Glimmer’s eyes shifted between the two. Are they buffering? What's going on?
Moe returned his gaze to the Queen, “He– ugh, welcomes you on board and wishes you a pleasant stay. And is honoured to be in the presence of royalty, especially one of whom allows us to stay on your world.”
Lee signed with his hands, clearly some sort of sign language, Glimmer managed to make out some of it, but not enough to further the conversation, “I'm sorry I don't know sign language, I- I should but I don't.” She remarked sadly.
Moe translated for his brother, “He just wants to discuss with you- uh- some matters.” He sounded a little awkward and nervous. Lee gave him an angry look for not translating fully. Moe just shrugged.
Outside across the depthless night a streak of light zipped across their view, Hordak spotted it, and moved to tail the craft. It was the decoy ship. As a mediaeval planet-locked civilization BrightMoon had no spaceships with which to cross galaxies. Which was why Adora got Entrapta to step in, and she was all too overjoyed about it. Being the genius she was, Entrapta fished out a crashed Horde ship fixed it up and customised it, now sporting the colour scheme of BrightMoon; purple, pink, and gold, even a painted mural of Glimmer on the hull. You couldn't get more overt than that, if this bait wouldn't work, Entrapta didn't know what would.
That was a lovely day, Entrapta and Hordak made a whole day of it, a date, that was what normal couples did so they thought they'd try it out too. And it was wonderful. Just them working together, bouncing ideas off of each other, problem solving, like two lobes of the same brain working in tandem. It was like a dream. Hordak would cherish this memory for years to come.
Hordak pulled up behind the decoy ship. With a single press of a button the clearance codes were transmitted from The Annihilation to the warships. Then; quiet. This moment was always horrifying. The silence. The wait. Hordak and the rest of the crew knew the codes were correct, Glimmer approved them herself, but each time Hordak’s mind briefly flashed to the thought of; What if the codes were wrong? If the warships would open fire, they would be dead in seconds - if not instantaneously vaporised by the battery lasers then they would freeze in the void of space. Seconds ticked away. They waited for the go-ahead; Hordak tense, V, behind him, completely relaxed and indifferent - the fear of death had left the old clone long ago, and then...
A green light lit up on the control panel. And the barricade of warships began to part like the Red Sea. And the tightness in Hordak’s chest disappeared and he released a sigh of relief. The two ships bypassed the armada wall and soon after separated, Glimmer watched the bait craft shrink into a dot out of the window and disappear. Soon the armada faded from visibility as well, and they were off on their voyage, no turning back now. Nothing but an endless stretch of darkness.
“Well, I guess there's no going back now.” She stepped up to the cockpit and looked on at the eternal night ahead.
V put his feet up on the pilot chair ahead, annoying Hordak, “Why so gloomy your highness. They should call you Gloomer. We’re here to have a good time! You know this is a road trip, and you know what that means!”
Dak: “No.”
Moe: “Oh Prime.”
Lee just turned around and left to his room.
V opened a compartment in the chair he was sitting on and pulled out a CD, and practically crawled over Hordak to get to the front control panel and slid the disc into a rectangular device. Glimmer believed it was called a CD player. And so music began to play from it. A country song come on not that our protagonists knew what that was exactly. The song began:
‘Life is like a road that you travel on,
When there is one day here and then the next day gone,
Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand,
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind’
Hordak face palmed, unable to escape the sound of the song, trapped in the pilot's seat. He had clearly heard this song a thousand times before. “I can't believe this.”
‘There is a world outside every darkened door,
Where the blues will not haunt you anymore,
Where brave are free and lovers soar,
Come ride with me to the distant shore’
Glimmer bowed her head down and sighed, “This is my life now... for the next week... No going back.” She echoed the words to herself once more. She turned and waltzed back to the couch defeated.
‘We won't hesitate, to break down the garden gate,
There's not much time left today, yeah –
THE DEFECTS, FEATURING QUEEN GLIMMER OF ETHERIA, STARRING IN:
‘L I F E   I S   A   H I G H W A Y  !’
‘And I want to ride it all night long.’
End of Act One (of Three)
___
Next Time on LIAH
"I've been checking our food cabinets, some thing's eating our supplies, some thing's here with us."
Dun. Dun. DUN!
---
"Don't be mad!"
"What did you do?!"
"I said don't be mad!!!"
---
"Is that a shotgun?!?!"
---
"Fifty Romulaks?! Where are we crossing over to Terabithia?!!"
---
"Keith... I'm pregnant."
"I knew it."
To Be Continued
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dangerpronebuddie · 2 days
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My darling Maggie, I need soft too.
So please, gimmie some Buddie + 37. ‘I missed you.’
🩵🩵🩵🩵
My darling Tanis, I hope this helps the need 🩵. I really enjoyed this one! 🥰
Buck checks his phone for about the eleventh time and sighs. Still nothing from Eddie. His flight had been delayed twice already. Chris had been so excited to meet Eddie at the airport, but when it got to be midnight and Eddie still hadn't arrived, Buck had to call off their surprise. Chris was too tired to protest much. Buck flips through the channels, staring unseeing at the TV screen. He decided he'd wait up for Eddie as long as he could. But it was approaching three in the morning and he had a shift later. He was just about to give up and pass out right there on the couch, when he heard keys in the door. His shoulders drop with relief at the sound. He had to admit, at least to himself, that he'd been worried since Eddie left a week ago. But his mom was sick and needed help, and Eddie wasn't about to let them down. So, Buck offered to stay with Chris, much to the kid's absolute delight. And Buck's. He stands and pads to the entryway. At first, Eddie doesn't see him. He's focused on trying to close the door with as little noise as possible, and failing miserably thanks to the squeaky hinge Buck had yet to fix. “You're late,” Buck says in a hushed voice. Eddie looks at Buck, a fond- albeit tired- smile on his face. “There wasn't construction on Sunset this time.” “Honestly, it probably would've been faster,” Buck comments as Eddie toes off his shoes. “How's everyone doing?” “Mom's finally better,” Eddie says on a sigh. “Dad has joined a golf club, a chess club, and a dancing club, all to keep out of mom's hair.” He sheds his jacket and hangs it beside Buck's before turning to face him. He looks exhausted. Like he just worked a double shift and then chaperoned a sleepover of ten rowdy kids. “And what about you?” Buck asks, pushing off the archway he was leaning against and stepping closer. “I…” Eddie pauses, like he's not sure he should say what he's going to. “I missed you.” Buck's heart swells. He doesn't think he's ever been told that in his life. Not even by Eddie. It feels… like heaven. Like being wrapped in a blanket straight from the dryer. Like… being loved. “I missed you too,” Buck says softly, wrapping his arms around Eddie and burying his face in his neck. Eddie sighs in content and practically melts against him, curling his arms around his waist. Buck takes a deep breath, smoothing a hand over the back of Eddie's head. He smells like sandalwood and citrus and home. Buck has been living in the Diaz house all week, surrounded by hints of Eddie everywhere, but nothing compares to the real thing. “I missed you so much,” Buck whispers, holding tighter. Eddie presses closer, his head against Buck's. “I missed you too, darlin’.” Buck's breath catches in his throat at the pet name, at the easy fondness in Eddie's tone, at the drawl that lingers from spending a week back home. He pulls back just enough to look at Eddie, who has to crane his neck to see him with their proximity. “Darlin’?” Buck asks, feeling his face heat, but smirking nonetheless. “Would you prefer sweetheart? Or baby? Or snookums?” Eddie teases. “I'd prefer husband,” Buck blurts out. Before the fear that he's too much can overtake him, Eddie stands on his toes and presses a soft kiss to the corner of Buck's mouth. “We'll work up to that, darlin’.” Buck grins and takes Eddie's face in his hands, pulling him into a deep kiss. It sounds ridiculous to say he's missed kissing Eddie when he's never done it before, but he has. He's missed his smiles and his laugh and his grumpy morning attitude. He's missed his touch, his voice, and even his kiss. And he doesn't have to miss him again.
Send me a soft prompt!
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faislittlewhiteraven · 14 hours
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Tower of Dormont ISaT AU
Had a weird dream I figured would make a great ISaT AU if anyone wants to take a swing at it so umm, general idea:
Instead of the House being taken over by the King, instead the Favor Tree is warped into an evergrowing tower reaching up, up, up into the heavens.
Instead of the King's Curse slowly making its way across the land and Mirabelle being the 'Chosen One' to collect the orbs to stop it, it's time freezing Sadnesses raining down from the top of the Tower all over Vaugarde and surrounding countries, with heroes from all over (Euphie, Claude, various Defenders, people from other countries, etc) heading into the Tower to figure out what is happening only to never return...
And well. It looks like the end for Vaugarde, Mirabelle (having finally hit the 'I know what Euphrasie said but I've got to do something' point) has recruited Isa, Odile and Bonnie for a last ditch effort to try and stop the world from ending by Tower and...
Within the first few floors (which keep changing but kind of look like... The House of Dormont? No, that bit there looks like Odile's family home, and that room there is just like Nille's???) they find an unlocked bedroom and in that room an exhausted, terrified and near hopeless Siffrin who can barely remember anything from his life before being imprisoned here (even takes a bit to recall his name over the now despised 'Bright One') but after a bit of coaxing they admit they know a LOT about the floors ahead and might be willing to help the party reach the top of the Tower where they can put a stop to the madness going on outside but in return they must not let the King catch them (not again not again not again)...
Party are actually pretty cool with this (you know, aside from general 'is this person legit or actually an enemy?' concerns) but well, it's hard not to notice as their guide goes from barely able to fight beyond weak scissors craft and buffs to healing and every craft type under the sun. From claiming they don't know what's behind a certain door or above the next floor to explaining in detail that the prisoners in cages on the next floor are all Sadnesses, or that 'the King is coming, he hasn't realised I've left the room yet but I need something, anything, to mask my scent' (and later gets everyone to leave false trails down halls via jars of sugar and honey they picked up a few rooms previous). From claiming that the party are the only other people they've ever seen here to having near breakdowns over finding books or paintings with imagery and words that seem eerily familiar (think a book that reads like 'Claude wonders why Euphrasie and their amnesiac guide are so fussed about the walls here apparently being covered in stars? Why do stars matter anyway?'), etc.
Oh and they glow more and more with each floor which er, is probably going to make hiding from the King (who is VERY DEFINITELY after them judging from all the "Bright One, you know you are not supposed to leave you room. You do not want me angry again do you Bright One?" roaring) increasingly difficult.
...
And yeah. I don't actually know what is going on in this story beyond cool imagery due to the whole 'Literally woke up with this in my head because dream' but...
Been thinking it's kinda like an 'end game Persona series' situation where a chance friendly meeting/talk between Sif and the King right before the King's rampage would've started, led to the King to realizing he could use his Wish Craft to force the people of Vaugarde to 'wish with him' (see: escalating brainwashing madness), forcing a terrified Sif to go along with it (no brainwashing for the Bright One no, not when they were clearly sent by the Universe to be the King's guide ignore the Bright One's screams that this is wrong, that they want nothing to do with this; clearly oracles only relay the Universe's intent not share it themselves), and the current 'raining time freezing Sadnesses/Sif clearly being stuck in some weird looping variant' stuff being the result of Sif's 'Please protect Vaugarde and restore our home' wish said at the King's orders being heard by the Universe as "please Universe do whatever you can to stop all of Vaugarde- No, the world from falling under the King's control! + Someone, anyone save me! + 'immense amounts of self loathing and a desire to known and held accountable for inadvertently sparking a man made apocalypse' + Universe I wish I had people who actually cared about me/who would never only use me as a tool to save the world" and er well. The Universe had a way to 'protect everyone from the King' that would also kind of fit the King's wishes, a whole heap of power from all the brainwashed people the King was leading plus the 'meant to be repurposed' freezing all of Vaugarde in time ritual the King crafted to work from Dormont and... Yeah. Add to that people all over Vaugarde and possibly other countries 'adding' to the 'please save us' wish bank after Sif had already accidently centered it all around himself and basically both Sif's loops and the Sadness hell storm are being powered up by everyone everywhere in one huge ball of 'Hmm, I wonder if this all ends with the King getting killed or is there gonna be a big old morality question thingy post King killing at the end where Sif, upon remembering that "this is all my fault" tries to get the others to kill him which other heroes may have done (and thus triggering the loop, sending Sif back to the start possibly missing memories of them to hide away in shame/terror/etc) whereas Mira, Isa, Odile and Bonnie have gotten far too attached to this tragic, self sacrificing idiot and were willing to let the rest of the world be fully frozen for the rest of Sif's natural lifespan if it meant he could finally be free (not happy about it mind you, but like, just the 5 of them living in a quiet world until everyone else is safely freed after Sif's natural death is better than murdering someone who went through an eternity of horrors to protect a world they couldn't even remember and who's death might not even be the true answer anyway)'.
Oh and the King should basically be treated like a yandere version of the Reaper or something throughout the story (dream had way too many 'and then the King was suddenly there killing someone until Sif slashes their throat -no tears to use in this Tower alas- and from the party's perspective basically has a 'vision of the future' and/or freakout for seemingly no reason in the middle of Snack Time), while each of the many many floors of the Tower are basically due to being altered to match the minds of everyone (frozen or not) in the Tower, kinda like a Palace or P4 dungeon, due to well, Sif unconsciously wanting to learn more about them, wanting to remember/forget, possibly on some level wanting the King to how horrible this all actually is IDK (snack rooms, like the bedroom Sif was in are basically P5 saferooms but less 'area weak in cognition' and more 'Sif wishes for there to be places safe from the King and all the Sadness so there are some even if he knows he can't stay in them forever least they become prisons for him'). ...Might be nightmare floors as well? To represent Sif's terror of bad things happening to anyone he becomes attached to and wanting to be able to protect them so basically, they are accidentally making their own opposition (possibly based off of what they hear the others being afraid of/the desire to be useful to them) and I think Slay the Princess might make for great inspiration there if you need an idea of how crazy that might go~ XD
...So. Yeah. If anyone wants to use any of this for any fanfic ideas, please go ahead as I kind of would like to focus on my Selkie Au and fics for other fandoms more than this weird dream that basically took over my brain and said SHARE in caps so loud I've been stuck thinking about it ever since.
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I just appreciate my deities so much. I have been so exhausted recently, and they are so gentle and understanding with me. It's interesting, as someone who grew up feeling intensely lonely, and now realizing as I am older that I am never alone when my deities are with me. They are ever-loving, unconditionally caring. I don't need to worry about upsetting them, or losing them, or being abandoned by them; they are forces and presences that I can always look up to and know that they are there for me. I am protected, loved, and I am so grateful for my deities in my life for reaching out to me and guiding me. Their lessons mean so much to me and I'm so happy to be able to spread their love and stories through my own writing.
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crushedsweets · 2 days
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SUCKER suckerrrr snap out of it by arctic monkeys is sooo ninakate suckerr trust
i'm so ill. my hands shake and crack as i imagine ninakate living out their life. give me a moment to process. as per usual, im writing this as if i was planning out a one-shot song-fic.
someone remind me to do this with kill the director eventually
ok to begin. the song is from kates perspective to nina.. im imagining its after theyve had their weird little 'meaningless' kisses. IN THIS STORY, SHE KINDA LINGERS BACK TO JEFF ON AND OFF... also this is mostly sad theres barely a good ending im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry
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nina is well integrated into the kate, clocky, toby, EJ friend group by this point. but every time she spends a few weeks trying to "work things out" with jeff, she's completely off in her own world. she withdraws from her friends, half cuz she's so focused on 'fixing' the doomed relationship and half cuz she's so embarrassed that she keeps going back and i think that shit is SOUL CRUSHING to kate. she hasn't had feelings for someone since . . . lauren . . . and she finally gets fragments of romance again, only for nina to constantly wander off after leading her on. also heavy on the 'fell in love, or near enough' cuz what nina and jeff has is not love 'i gotta tell you the truth' its eating kate alive. she doesnt really talk emotions and she never tells people what to do, but she just wants to scream bro.
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i think toby, clocky, and ej have already exhausted themselves telling nina to give it up. EJ has tried gentle pieces of advice, clocky has bickered back and forth, and toby has outright screamed at nina to STOP GOING BACK TO HIM. and none of it did anything. but kate doesnt tell people what to do. the most she would do is raise a brow at nina and sigh and shake her head. i think this would eventually be a good bonding moment for kate and toby, where she confides in him about feeling like she missed her shot. toby tells her that she's never gonna 'miss her shot' ... especially w a girl as messy as nina...cuz evidently jeff did all that and still didnt miss HIS shot. LMFAO... but he'd encourage kate to get her shit together and just talk to nina about it. and for some reason nobody listens to tobys damn advice so kate just sits and waits.
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ok this is just very straightforward. kate is constantly mulling over it and pissed and sad and bummed out. (oddly enough, tobys relieved to see her stressing over crushes instead of like.... being torn apart from the inside by a cryptic entity)
'it sounds like settling' down or givin' up, but it don't sound much like you, girl' OK i think this line works for kate AND nina.
toby would be saying something like this to kate. its kind of warped, cuz i think when kates in the chaser mode, she does not give up. she is persistent and she attacks with a goal. he's watched the chaser run to the brink of exhaustion, to the point where kate was bed ridden afterwards. SO WHY WOULD SHE GIVE UP ON SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS A GIRL ?!?!?!
and in turn, kate would be thinking this towards nina. settling down doesnt seem like nina. giving up is also not like nina cuz she is also quite persistent until feelings fade... which frustrates kate cuz she gets stuck in this loop of 'even if she were to leave jeff, why would she settle for me? why would she stay with me? there's no point in getting deeper into this'
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kate would eventually have to snap, as stories go. grabbing nina and confessing, going on about how fucking dumb nina is being. honestly, kate would probably accidentally choke out things she heard from EJ, clocky, and toby all scolding nina... which would either upset nina, or feel like a full circle moment where FINALLYYYYY all the shit that she's been told all this time has come together. and finally she can be like oh.... this is really embarrassing for me...... also oh my god wait
the idea of kate writing nina a letter. oh my god. wait. GUSY WAIT FUCK KATE WRITING NINA A LETTER WAIT FUCK FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK KATE WRITES HER A LETTER THATS CANON NOW IM SORRY IM SORRY IMSORRY
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blueeyescleo · 3 days
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Every day, for years, it’s been you. Perhaps your desire for me began the same way mine did for you with silent stalking late at night, trying to figure out who this person was that entered into my world like a blustery breeze straight out of hell. You knew right away as I did, the mere presence of who we were, would change us for the better. We just knew, it was an inherent feeling. We connected in ways that surprised both of us and it continued to grow over time as trust effortlessly developed at alarming speeds. We became inseparable. “We” happened almost immediately but I remember you saw right through my soul as we spoke and devoured every word spoken day after day.
At first, you thought you had control. At first, you thought you were the dark, diabolical monster stalking its prey, until one day, you realized my skillful powers, magic, and charm were on another level. You knew then that I was, in fact, the mastermind of our making. That I was the one for you - the missing piece to the puzzle that never fit just right.
But you were right about one thing. I knew what I was doing. I knew I wanted you from day one. I knew I wanted and needed all of you. I knew how to play coy, to divulge just enough about me to lure you in. Forever. Attached. Growing together. And now, that once child-like giddy love, infatuation, intrigue, and mystery of who we were turned into a deep friendship. We both fully understand there’s no turning back. You have become such an ingrained part of my life as I have become to you.
You took on this unknown challenge of taming a wild tempest, which is a daunting task to manage, especially with me ~ but you knew that even a methodical ingenious monster needed a friend, needed security, needed love, needed saving at times, needed a gentle (not so gentle) nudge to remember who they are, and meant to become. You never once got exhausted by providing redirection, insight, education, and reassurance when I was at my lowest points. You were just there, saying the right things, saying what I needed to hear, saying what you believed to be true deep down.
We have, in fact, transcended time, space, limits, and boundaries. We have turned a once innocent infatuation into something neither of us could now ever live without.
©️Tegan Matthews, 3/2024
#The Magic We Are Together
#You, Me, Us 💋
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nebbyy · 2 days
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I have a request, if youre taking them.
Baldwin's wife sneaks into the battle in 1177 with sixteen year old Baldwin, his reaction and what not. make it your own, just thought this would be cool
King Baldwin x reader - My archangel
A/N: I absolutely LOVE this idea! I've never thought of a scenario like this before, so thank you so so much for the suggestion<3
Sorry if this took so long btw, I haven't been active lately because of school and work😔😔
As always, painting is "The Crown of Love" by John Everett Millais (it's so funny to me for no reason, it just makes me think of how Baldwin would be physically dragging you out of danger).
Summary: During the most importante battle of his life so far, the last person king Baldwin expected to see on the battlefield was his newlywed wife
Warning: war, but it's more of a background thing, mentions of injuries and a hint at misogynism
Word count: 5433
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It had been decided. Jerusalem's knights and soldiers would be riding towards Saladin's army at dawn, led by their king, King Baldwin IV of Anjou. Your Baldwin.
The mere idea that tomorrow your husband would find himself fighting face to face against the most fearsome of his enemies terrified you, especially knowing that you could do nothing to protect him. He had expressly said he did not want you or his sisters anywhere near the battlefield, it was too risky. You should have waited for his return, for him to be victorious astride his steed, now lying lifeless on a black bed.
You closed your eyes, begging your mind to spare you from the projection of that macabre image in your head. But you could do nothing against these emotions, which were tearing at your mind and spirit. You could not remain still and impassive, obedient and elegant as you always were as a young princess, then as a wife and now as a queen.
No, that image of you had to slumber, if only for a while. You did not have your kingdom on your mind at that moment, only Baldwin and the overwhelming desire to be close to him.
You cursed your nature for making you a woman, for not having had the opportunity to learn the art of arms and war. You cursed your long robes that prevented you from any daring movement, and your limbs because even if they were able to move freely they would not have the strength to even wield a sword.
As Baldwin fell asleep in your arms, exhausted by the fatigue that this imminent battle was costing him, and you held him close to your heart as if to compel him eternally into your embrace, you weaved a plan in your mind. A plan not to leave him alone at dawn, to stay as close to him as possible.
Because even if it was the day God would claim your husband's soul, at least you wanted to be near him as he took his last breath.
How selfish you were, not even death would have been left for him. But then again, poets have been saying it for centuries, love is the gravest form of madness.
You woke up in an empty bed, the spectre of a kiss floating on your bare shoulder where Baldwin's lips had rested a few moments before, when he had to arouse himself to lead his army into battle. And despair pervaded you almost immediately, when when you woke up still no idea had come to your mind to stay by his side, after you had hoped that sleep would grant you a solution to your problem.
Unable to hold back tears of frustration and despair, you summoned your favourite handmaiden, your nurse, old to almost retirement but cunning as a mischievous child. You wept on her welcoming lap, clutching the fabric of her robe in your fists.
"Oh Agnes, how unfair is my fate as a woman. I am asked to stand by my husband's side all my life and yet I am denied a place beside him in these dark times. And they tear him from my arms and leave me here, alone and helpless, these monstrous Saracens!" She looked at you with sympathetic eyes, stroking the long hair that fell from your shoulders, which resembled the waves of the sea as they shook slightly from your sobs. "What can I do, Agnes? You who always have a quick tongue to give solutions to my every worry, tell me what I can do, before his horse and troops are too far away to be seen."
She, like a mother consoling a child who has injured himself while playing, took your face with one hand, inviting you to turn your gaze towards her. As she wiped the tears that streaked your cheeks with her thumb, she spoke softly to you, although her tone had a hint of her typical mischief in it: "My lady, weeping over your fate does not suit you. Instead, I propose you run. Make haste to the armoury, there you are sure to find armour left behind by some lord. Do you follow me? Well, you will simply have to put on the armour, carrying a pair of your husband's breeches underneath. And keep your helmet tightly closed, so that it cannot be seen that beneath the armour there is not a brutish knight, but a beautiful queen.
Go out of the palace through the servants' passages, and buy the horse of the first man you find. Not yours, in the royal stable they would notice his absence. And then all that remains is for you to ride, ride as fast as you can, to reach the Christian encampments as soon as possible, which by then will have been set up. Remain aloof, and reveal yourself to your husband only. And do so at night, in his tent, where no unwanted eyes can see your unexpected encounter. Is it all clear, my lady?"
You merely nodded frantically with eyes wide in wonder and relief. You practically leapt into the air, quick to grab the first slip you could find and a pair of cheap shoes that you could ruin with all your impending travels. You were about to leave the room, but stopped for a moment at the threshold, before turning back to Agnes to hold her tightly in a warm embrace.
"What would I do without you, my dear. You are even better than a guardian angel, I wouldn't be surprised if one day you left some white feathers behind!" The woman squeezed you affectionately before pushing you away playfully, urging you to get out and go and do whatever she directed. "It is the job of a nurse, to solve a child's problems in the same way as a mother. But hurry now or the battle will be over before you have even found a helmet!"
You laughed lightly as you wiped the dried tears from your cheeks, wasting no more time in rushing to get what was necessary to implement your plan. You rushed in front of the crate containing Baldwin's clothes, tossing robes and shirts in the air until you found breeches fit for a ride. You hastily donned them, then dashed down the long corridors of the palace.
Once in the armoury, you began to spin like a wheel, desperately searching with your eyes for any armour. You weren't picky, anything would have been more than enough: you'd have been fine with just a breastplate, chain mail, simple shoulder straps,… But most of all, you needed a helmet. And that you found almost immediately in your mad search. It was crudely moulded and already bore a few dents on the sides, but you paid no attention to it, it was enough to conceal your identity.
You also found a breastplate, and that was all you needed. You considered taking a sword with you too, but quickly changed your mind: it might be foolish to most, but you hoped that if an enemy found you unarmed, his honour would prevent him from challenging you to a fight.
And then, your focus on your sword quickly faded as you remembered that you still had no horse to reach the battlefield. Running awkwardly, like a child ambitiously trying on his father's far too large armour, you stepped back into the corridors, this time frantically searching with your eyes for a servant to follow towards the back exit.
It must have been a hilarious scene from an outside observer, a burly swineherd looking perplexed over his shoulder as a half-armed knight los eguiva like a tin puppet through the narrow corridors. But the scene was short-lived, for after a couple of turns you finally reached the palace exit, and emerged into the crowded streets of the city.
I had to move my helmet slightly above my eyes to better see the road around you, scanning the area for any horse. You could only see two camels, a few cows, a hen with her small flock of chicks, but no horse in sight. But just when you were about to give up hope, a mysterious force swept over you.
More than mysterious force, you were almost overwhelmed by a horse held on the bridle by a dirty, smelly man. "Out of the way, kid!" Looking at the man with wide eyes, taking good care to make sure your helmet covered your features well, you strained to speak in the most naturally deep voice you could muster, attempting to fool the yokel into mistaking you for a mere boy.
"Sir how much… how much are you asking for your horse?" He laughed, opening his mouth wide and exposing his few remaining teeth, yellow and frayed, and looked at you with a look of paucity and mockery, "You're going off to war without even a horse? The Saracens will impale you like a spit, son. Not that the battle would do you any good either way, with the child king we have, they will all be wiped out. before they even reach those bloody Arabs!”
You clenched your jaw so tightly that you thought your teeth might blow out from the pressure, so hard were you trying to suppress your anger at that disrespectful commoner. Breathing slowly, trying to calm your nerves, you spoke in stiff, icy words, "30 shillings. And you leave me the saddle" The man's eyes widened, incredulous at how much a young man was willing to pay for his old, shabby horse. But he wasn't complaining at all; in fact, better for him if the thirst for war drove the youth of today to such lengths. If only he had known that it was not the bloodlust of a daring young man that was before him, but instead the affectionate madness of a desperate wife.
He did not even answer, stretched out his open hand in front of him where a moment later a bag full of coins fell. He opened it for good measure, making sure the hefty sum was true. When he was satisfied, he slowly handed you the bridle, dazed by the small fortune he was holding.
You hoisted yourself awkwardly onto the horse, and it was not a quick operation as it seemed almost impossible for you not to fall off the horse, so much was the armor restricting your every move and weighing you down. After a few minutes of tribulation, you finally steadied yourself in the saddle and with a firm gesture of your leg, spurred the steed, which galloped off in an instant.
At a gallop, the city didn't seem nearly so big. Nor did the streets seem so crowded, perhaps because the people spread out like the sea in front of Moses as you passed, trying to escape the unpleasant fate of being swept away by the running horse and its mysterious rider. You felt as if you were sailing through the waves of the sea, with people's heads bobbing up and down, a current of movement pushing you closer and closer to the city gates. No one paid much attention to you as you crossed the threshold into the kingdom of heaven, most just thought you were a careless rider who had fallen behind, perhaps this was your first battle. Whatever your problem was, it was not about the wall guards. And so your figure disappeared from the sight of the remaining citizens in the city, vanishing into the vastness of the endless desert.
You did not know quite how long you rode, how many hours it took you before you began to locate even the slightest trace of the passage of the army of Jerusalem. At first it was only small details, marks left on the ground, mainly trinkets possibly dropped to the soldiers during the ride. Then the signs of their passage became more prominent, when around a small oasis you even found a few abandoned spears, probably forgotten back by some careless soldier.
And you stopped there for only a moment, as thirst would have prevented you from going any further. As you drank from the body of water, your mind travelled in thought to your husband; who knows if he too drank from this spring? And if so, how long has it been? Will he be far from here? What would he say when he saw you retracing the passage he and his troops were tracing? At that last thought a shiver ran down your spine, most likely he would not be very happy to know you were so close to danger. You shook your head, trying to rid yourself of the image of the look that Baudouin would give you if he saw you at that moment, alone, barely armed in the vast and merciless desert, with no escort to protect you…
You only hoped that the surprise and joy of seeing you at such a tragic moment might cloud his mind from any concern he might have for you. In the meantime you had quenched your thirst enough. Regaining the reins of your horse, and after a series of ministrations to remount the saddle, you resumed your ride towards the battle with the unknown outcome.
As you rode with the wind blowing in your face, with nothing to entertain or distract you, your mind could not but return again to Baldwin. You could not help it, for fear for his fate had been tearing at your soul for days without respite, ever since it was announced that a battle would take place.
Baldwin was too young for all this. He was barely of marriageable age, he could barely reign without a regent at his side, he was hardly considered more than a child, many nobles even refused to call him an adult! And then there was his illness, which although not yet crippling, had already begun to expand its deadly effect on his body, numbing his nerves and making it impossible for him to wield his right hand properly. It was really unfair, that a man in his condition should lead an army to what everyone considered certain death.
Death at the hands of the Saracens, who were rumoured to be as many as ten times the number of the army of Jerusalem. A sob escaped from your mouth, followed by a faint stream of tears that ran down your cheeks, but they were short-lived on your face, the dry desert wind dried them in no time.
Only an instant seemed to pass, time to bring a hand to his face to wipe away the dried saline tears. Yet when your gaze focused again on the landscape in front, you saw a few hundred metres away a series of white tents, a few faint rows of smoke rising in the air, a massive cross set with precious gems, leaning against a rough wooden construction. It was the camp of the Jerusalem army.
Getting off your horse, you advanced hesitantly through the camp. Looking around, you noticed the stunned gazes of soldiers and horsemen watching you, some intrigued by your unkempt armor, some confused by your clumsy way of moving. But although the attention of their gazes made you stop breathing, fearing that you had been discovered, but fortunately it was short-lived, all the men were too tired from the exertions of the journey to investigate even this oddity. Taking you for an inexperienced little boy, they looked away from you and proceeded to drag their aching limbs back to their respective tents.
But although no one gave you more than the attention you give any stranger on the street, your heart would not stop beating furiously in its cage. You quivered at the mere thought of seeing your husband again, who although he had recently separated from you, already felt as if you had not seen him for an eternity. And your soul screamed at the idea that this might be the last time you would see him alive, and urged your legs to move faster. From hesitant strides, your gait grew brisk, impatient, and faster and faster until you burst into a frantic run through the expanse of white tents.
You scanned one, two, ten, a hundred, so many that by now they seemed to you an endless bundle of the same white cloth. But although your hope gave no sign of existing from your mission, your legs were beginning to give out under the constant strain you had subjected your body to for endless hours. You had no choice but to stop to catch your breath, resting your hands on your trembling thighs as you gasped for breath. And it was in that very instant, while you neither heard nor saw anything but the roar of your heart echoing in your ears and the rough ground flattened by the heavy footsteps of the soldiers, dark because of the blurred evening light, that you heard it. That voice.
"We will discuss this tomorrow, now I need the rest" "Certainly, my lord." The dialogue was followed by a knight of high lineage who came out of the tent in front of which you had pulled up to rest. He did not even dignify you with a glance, and you could not care less, for it was not him you were interested in. He was the first man to speak who had captured your complete attention, making the whole world fade away around you. It was a jovial voice, full of life despite obvious tiredness. It was a boy's voice. It was Baldwin's voice.
You sidled up to the curtain of the tent and, before opening your mouth, breathed slowly, tending not only to ease your nerves but also to modulate your voice to make it more masculine, deeper. The deception was to be revealed only when you were alone in the tent, away from prying eyes.
"My king, I know you are now bereft of strength, but grant me a brief interview with your majesty." You could visualize him rolling his eyes, puffing silently and running his good hand over his eyes, as he was always wont to do when any courtier demanded his attention while he was already lying in your arms. And as whenever this familiar event took place, similarly Baldwin made an effort in this case to stand up and mutter a reply, unaware that the subject behind the cloth was not just any boy, but his beloved wife. "I'm afraid I'm in no condition for a meeting at the moment. We will discuss whatever you need tomorrow." Panic grew in you hearing him so indisposed. After all, you should have expected it; he had more to think about than granting an interview to an anonymous soldier. In an instant, however, you changed your strategy, if you couldn't convince him you would have to bait him, "Please, sir, give me a few minutes! I bring with me a great surprise, a gift that I know will fill your heart with joy and restore your energy!"
He paused, as if weighing his options. At least that was what you thought, but in truth Baldwin was wondering if he was going crazy. If he had only dreamed, due to exhaustion and fatigue, that the voice speaking to him from outside the tent was not any young man's, but a disguise meant to hide the angelic melodic voice of his beloved wife. Were it really her, Baldwin would not have wasted a moment in throwing open the door for her, taking her into his arms and carrying her to his momentary abode, where her presence alone could be savored by him.
But he knew it could not be possible: you, his beloved wife whose image constantly pervaded his mind, were thousands and thousands of feet away, safe within the walls of your palace, as you had promised him. It was just not possible that you were the one hiding outside the tent, his hopes were just a cruel game of his mind. But by now his attention had been caught by the stranger so eager to talk to the king, to give him this phantom gift. Perhaps there would have been cause for concern, for thought of possible deception or assault by an enemy spy, but Baldwin did not give the thought more than a second's attention, before sighing softly and turning away, gazing back at the white fabrics of the tent. "Very well, come forward then. I hope this surprise you tell me about is really that formidable."
You came close to slinging yourself into the tent, throwing yourself into Baldwin's arms in an instant, and never letting go. But you still couldn't do it; it was too risky. You merely placed a hand on the side of the fabric that closed the curtain, pulling it to go through and letting it fall back behind you. And there you stood, facing Baldwin, clad in that armor far too large for your size, your heart pounding wildly from both the fatigue of the journey and the excitement. And he slowly, with a phlegm as elegant as the waters of a stream, turned to reveal the identity of his mysterious visitor, and you had already freed your face from the tortuous confines of the helmet you had worn for endless hours.
His eyes widened, wide as never before. Perhaps for the first time in his life, Baldwin could say he was truly, truly surprised. A thousand emotions passed from his face, from astonishment, to joy, to anger, and then to sadness, and then to astonishment again. For a moment he seemed about to open his mouth, but he stopped, opting instead to run to you, putting his arms around you, holding you tight and lifting you off the ground so tight was his grip. "My affection, how can you be so foolish! This is no place for you, so far from home, close to the enemy… You promised me you would stay safe, let me go, let me protect you! How could you do something so rash, you who are always so wise? Alone through the desert, what if the enemy had met you before I got here? What would I have done if your lifeless body, tortured by the Saracens, had been brought to me?"
His voice was exhausted, worn out by weariness and emotion that blocked his throat and threatened to make hot tears fall from his white cheeks. His words were harsh and stern, but devoid of any reproach: it was his fear speaking, his fear of seeing you the next day among the stacked bodies of war victims. And as he spoke he held your arms, shook you lightly, and in the process interrupted himself to place chaste kisses on your face, as if through the touch of his lips he was trying to convince himself that you were really there, standing before him. That it was not a mere illusion, a game of his mind.
Gently, with a touch as light as the morning wind, your hands went up his chest to his beautiful face, which you lovingly cupped. "I swore before God that I would not abandon my place at your side until the breath leaves my body. I have enjoyed with you wealth, pomp, and good fortune. But what you have granted me to witness is only half of the aspects of a nuptial union. Poverty, sickness, and the misery of war are the woes that touch every human being, and which two spouses are expected to face together. So now, my king, I beseech you, do not deny me a place at your side as you fight for the honor and freedom of the Holy Land, do not deny me a duty that has been mine since you and I were joined in eternity. It is unjust what you have subjected me to, to have to watch you ride away from me, toward the worst of dangers! And how could you think I would let you go just like that, without opening my mouth? Now we are even, I have retraced the path you yourself have traced, as bereft of safety as you were bereft of my presence. And now together we face this mortal danger, which, however, will never hold a candle to the pain that distance from you brings me!"
Baldwin's eyes softened, though they had a melancholy note in them. He inhaled with shuddering breath, and his grip became softer on your body, his hands descended from his arm to your waist, always holding you as close as physically possible.
"I was always told that silence honors women. This does not suit you, for depriving you of speech robs you of the royalty that makes you my queen. I ask your forgiveness, my angel, for leaving you alone in such a dark time. But try to understand my choice, how self-centered would I have been to ask you to come with me, in the midst of the greatest danger? It was simply too much for me, my beloved, the burden on my heart, begging me to do all that was permissible to keep you safe, even if that necessitated keeping you away from me. You are too far away now for me to send you back to the palace with an escort, and my heart could not bear to part with you for even another hour. You will stay here, ruling your people as you should. But please do not do me the wrong of setting foot on that bloody battlefield tomorrow. If even God decides that tomorrow my hour has come, and I fall lifeless on the bloody ground, do not move a step, do not show any sign of weakness. Don't follow me into the afterlife, don't even think about it: I know full well that I will never have the honor of lying eternally by your side, I am not worthy of it, so don't jeopardize your precious life in the name of an eternity by my side."
You did not respond, and silence fell. Squeezing together for another moment, you broke away shortly thereafter only to move to the bed set up in his tent, not as luxurious as his usual palace bed but certainly far more comfortable than the hay bunks in which soldiers elsewhere rested. Clinging to each other, you remained silent for a few moments. Or maybe it was hours, neither of you knew. Nor did you care, knowing how much time had passed, how much more separated you from the inescapable fate that awaited you the next day. Silent tears streaked your faces, sobs and sighs filled the air of the room. Then, you took courage to open your mouth, your voice soft and melancholy, weakened by weeping. "How unfair is our fate, affection. How bitter is my soul, knowing that tomorrow I must witness such a slaughter, an open-air slaughterhouse in which you yourself may become yet another victim."
As your first response you heard a snort from your husband, who squeezed you tighter for a moment, as if to secure you beside him, engulf you in his body. His lips pressed against your temple, placing a gentle kiss there, and they remained resting there even as he began to speak, "I know, I know my angel. I too wish things were simpler, that I could retire from this world, go and live with you, away from all this chaos, all this violence. You don't know how much I would have liked to abdicate, to leave the throne to Sybilla and her husband. They would have been good rulers, if only dear William had not passed away so soon. And so we have only to live like this, my beloved. To live perpetrated by the duties and horrors that mankind is capable of, all in the name of God's affection," a pause, a look that said a thousand silent words, and then resumed, "in the name of my affection for you… Tomorrow it will be an honor for me to fight, for like the valiant Lancelot, who fought to his last breath in the name of beautiful Guinevere. I do not care if my life will be endangered, if I return wounded and maimed more than leprosy is already reducing me. No, I don't care, because at the end of the day, whether my heart still beats or not, I know that I will return to lie in your arms.
And that makes up for all the injustices I will have to face." The last words were whispered, softened by a deep affection that numbed the senses and made everything as graceful as the clouds in the sky.
More tears streamed down your rosy cheeks, but you tried to conceal them by hiding your face in the crease of Baldwin's neck. The tone grew sterner for a moment as he resumed speaking, intimating you to listen with a grip on your shoulder. "Just promise me that, in case the battle goes badly, and I am dead and defeated and my whole army with me, promise me that you will escape, as far away as you can. Find shelter at the dwellings of those who have abstained from this conflict, find asylum in churches and in any sacred place you can find. Do whatever you can in order to protect your life. Protect what has always been dearest to me, your life."
"I will, I promise." You would have liked to retort, or much less say what he wanted to hear without really thinking it. But deception did not suit you, not toward Baldwin at least. And the mere thought that that might be his last will, which made you want to throw yourself to the ground and cry every tear you had in your body, also made it impossible for you to disobey that simple request, which after all was the request that you care for your own body and soul.
Whether Baldwin had taken your word for it or not, you were not sure, it was hard to say. It didn't matter, both of you were too tired to linger talking any longer, contrary to your usual routine of endless discussions on all kinds of topics. He whispered something to you in his native tongue, and although the language was vaguely unfamiliar to you and fatigue clouded your mind, you could still discern a sweet "I love you" among the words he spoke.
The next day your awakening was similar to the day Baldwin left Jerusalem: alone in bed, the place where your husband lay still warm. Outside the men were shouting orders and the horses were pawing in irritation at the din. In the distance you could hear the cries of the Saracens approaching, and the horns of war echoing in the air. You tried to peep your head out of the tent, but a guard surprised you right in front of the entrance. "My lady, his majesty has ordered that you do not leave the tent until the battle is over." The tone was authoritative and gentle at the same time, but his spear was stretched across the opening of the tent, an admonition far more direct than his words. You obeyed, as you had promised Baldwin that same evening, and without protest you retreated back inside the small temporary dwelling.
And so you stood there, alone and unaware of what was unfolding beyond the white tent. The last sound you were able to discern was your beloved's voice inciting his men to battle, before the din of war produced such a cacophony that it was impossible to understand a single sentence spoken. They rode for a few hundred meters until they reached the place where the battle would take place. They rode so far that the din they caused as they passed became muffled, barely audible. And perhaps it was for the best, for the distance muffled the atrocious sounds of war, of slaughter.
And so you waited there, within the four fabric walls, white as snow, that you feared at every moment might be stained with blood, friend or foe. You waited for the outcome of the battle, dumb with fear, with tension. You awaited Baldwin's return, dead or alive, victorious or defeated. And you did so by standing there, closer to him than was possible, exhausted and restless at the same time.
A/N: Yallll this was LONGGGG. i really really like how this turned out, and i hope you do too! I'm really sorry for how long it took me to write this piece, but I promise the following ones will take much much less🙏🙏🙏 Anyway, now I gotta go start working on those, feel free to leave a comment or feedback about this fic<3<3
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