Shoutout to that time I was selling Girl Scout cookies and I had to pee SO bad but there was no bathroom available and instead of saying, “Hi would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?”, I accidentally said, “Hi would you like to go to the bathroom?”

(via COMMON SENSE NOT A GIFT BUT A BUT A PUNISHMENT BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T HAVE IT Classic T-Shirt by PHOENIXSDESIGNS)

Daily Quote

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More stuff from my day as Jason Todd incorrect quotes:

Jason, talking to batman: Okay let's play a little game, you tell me why you think we should let the joker live, and I'll try to guess what fucking drugs you're on.

Bruce, after meeting baby stalker Tim during patrol: I'll just make sure he doesn't get into trouble, I won't steal a child this time!

Jason, texting Dick about their future little brother: Yeah, as you say.

Coriolanus x Text Posts

I'm feeding y'all since you specifically wanted Coryo posts lmao

If the slytherins had socials…part XIII

<- part XII

-> part XIV

Person 1: how're you feeling?

Person 2: not good. i have this headache that comes and goes

Person 3: *walks into the room*

Person 2: there it is

Unnecessary feelings might be the iconic gay line but it will never catch me as off guard as much as this did

Your sincerely, Mr. Darcy ❤️

Physically at home but mentally I'm in forest and making soup for myself.

Odysseus' reintegration into the world bound by mortal limitations foregrounds both his age and the distance he has traveled. The shipwrecked sailor who manages to crawl ashore naked on Scheria, bereft of companions, possessions, any token of identity — of all but the bare ember of vitality (cf. 5.488-90 — a lonely spark in a pile of ashes) — meets the young Nausikaa, whose life (like that of Telemachus) is just opening to the possibilities before her. The scene in which Odysseus, awakened by sounds that evoke in him fears of hostile men, faces instead a group of teenage girls playing ball, is both comic and poignant as it measures the difference between their expectations and stages of experience. Later, as he is challenged to compete in an athletic contest, Odysseus acknowledges the toll that age and journeying inevitably take. This is not, then, the epic of the beautiful death (one way to read the Iliad (e.g., see Vernant 1991: 50-74)) but the epic of timeworn, embraceable life.

John Miles Foley, A Companion to Ancient Epic, 2005.

Quotes that Happened Yesterday

"There's a hole in the bag because the baguette is so sharp"

"You rolling around on the ground and laughing made it so much better"

"Yeah because I didn't expect the baguette to shoot out of the bag before it could hit the counter"

"You have baguette on your ass"

Fernando: If I die, my funeral is gonna be the biggest part ever, and you're all invited.

Zhou: "if"

Checo: Great! The only party I've ever been invited to and he might not even die.

Minho, texting: Hey babe, what are you wearing?

Jisung: just my boxers ;)

Minho: so you haven’t done the laundry?

Jisung: i have not.