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#incorrect slytherin skittles
machiavellli · 6 months
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If the slytherins had socials…part V
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<- Part IV
-> Part VI
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doorlene · 10 months
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boss: you're fired.
barty: fine! [hands in weapon and badge]
boss: ... you're a waiter where did you get these
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n0blefl0wer · 6 months
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Skittles as a conversation my friends and I have had
Dorcas: I’m going to ring your fucking neck, Bartemius
Evan: careful. He’s into that.
Barty: yeah, at least take me out to dinner first
Regulus: don’t cream your pants, Crouch
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wild-flowerhoney · 8 months
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death eaters what we do in the shadows au (which is just. a documentary au if we want to be picky ig)
evan: the dark lord wants to conquer the world, which sounds like a good idea at first.
regulus: but after the first week you just start thinking "why am i doing this?" and there's no good answer really.
barty: yeah, it gets boring FAST.
regulus: of course it's a trap! why would the dark lord want to go on a stroll through muggle london?!
evan: to see how much of it we've conquered! and when he finds out that it's just grimmauld place he's going to kill us!
barty: well if you think he's gonna "QUACK" us then maybe we should "QUACK" him first.
regulus: you want us to "quack" him?
barty: if you think he's gonna do it first then yes!
evan: let's not discuss this any further, someone could hear us.
regulus: also, can he even die?
bellatrix: i heard them plotting to murder you, my lord.
barty: she speaks the bullshit!
regulus: we simply floated the idea, my lord.
bellatrix: you didn't float it, you plotted it!
evan: plotting and floating are very similar, to be fair.
*door slams open, all three scream*
peter: oh- i didn't-
barty: are you happy now, pettigrew? you just scared the shit out of all three of us.
regulus: so you don't knock anymore? hmm? is this the new you?
evan: this fucking guy-
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oasis-of-stars-4 · 4 months
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Regulus: I love being right. It’s one of my favorite personality traits.
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starsmacabray · 7 months
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*slytherin skittles on the train, frantically looking for Regulus*
Evan: that’s his brother, right? let’s ask him.
*walks up to find marauders scrambling around a compartment with the benches torn open and the walls covered in clawmarks*
the skittles: *blinks*
James: GOT HIM! *triumphantly holds up a very angry looking black cat*
Sirius: There you are, cat! You can’t run off without your ribbon! *ties bright pink bow to cat’s neck who tries to claw his eyes out*
Pandora (whispering): … is that …
Evan: don’t say a word.
*Barty and Dorcas rolling on the floor in hysterics*
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not-rab · 5 months
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13-year-old Sirius: You know what, I think it's time we started swearing. When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first and then you.
12-year-old Regulus: Okay.
[downstairs]
Walburga: What do you want for breakfast?
Sirius: I'll have Cocoa Puffs, bitch.
Walburga: Go to your room!
Walburga, to Regulus: And what do you want?
Regulus: Dunno but it won't be fucking Cocoa Puffs.
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daddiesdrarryy · 4 months
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Barty: You slept with Potter?
Regulus: I didn’t know what else to do! He had those big, sad eyes. I couldn’t help it!
Evan: …sure, sounds like you had no other choice
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loz-tearsofahomo · 3 months
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James: and so I'm pretty sure I'm in love with Reg-
Evan: I'm sorry?
James: Well hes-
Evan: No I'm just sorry.
Barty: yeah mate praying for you
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moonytoastx · 4 months
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Regulus: "Your eyes are red. Are you high again?"
Barty, imitating Regulus: "ArE yOu HiGH AGaIN?"
Barty: "No, bitch. I've been crying.
Regulus:
Regulus: "Oh."
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theprongspotter · 24 days
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First Year Regulus: Do I talk too much?
First Year Evan: My guy, this is the first time you’ve spoken all day and it’s late in the evening.
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c: @akwardsilince
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machiavellli · 4 months
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If the slytherins had socials…part XIII
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<- part XII
-> part XIV
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doorlene · 11 months
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regulus, trying to be helpful: maybe if you just put pen to paper?
pandora: i tried that. i thought, "i'll just sit down and write whatever comes. no judgment, no inner critic". merlin, was that a bad idea.
regulus: really? why?
pandora: because my brain is a wild jungle full of scary gibberish: "i'm writing a letter i can't write a letter why can't i write a letter i'm wearing a green dress i wish i was wearing my blue dress my blue dress is with the house elves the aurors wore grey you wore blue 'casablanca' 'casablanca' is such a good movie 'casablanca' the ministry dumbledore why don't i ride a broom i should ride a broom i should really take my bicycle to school bicycle unicycle unitard hockey puck rattlesnake monkey monkey underpants".
regulus:
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nixnight1 · 4 months
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Regulus high with Barty at the Potter's
Sirius: Can I get in here? I need the- Oh my god!!
Regulus using Sirius' clothes and makeup: It's like looking on a mirror!!
Sirius: No it isn’t, Regulus >:(
Regulus: Who's Regulus?
Barty: I already can't tell who is who
Sirius: Take that stuff off
Regulus: Moony! Get in here and settle this!
Sirius: Don't call my boyfriend "Moony"
Remus: What? OH woah-hey Hey, travel size Pads! Awww
Sirius: Moonyyyy, you're encouraging him
James: I need the bathroom... Oh wow this is confusing
Sirius: No, it's not!
Regulus: You're my family and I love you all, but I'm cooler than all of you!
Sirius: I don't say that
James: Well that's all you say
Remus and Barty: Yeah
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wild-flowerhoney · 9 months
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regulus: due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.
evan: potter said 'i love you' and you said 'thanks', didn't you?
regulus: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–
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oasis-of-stars-4 · 4 months
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Barty: You’re alive. Evan: No need to sound so disappointed.
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