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machiavellli · 6 months

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If the slytherins had socials…part V

<- Part IV

-> Part VI

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doorlene · 10 months

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boss: you're fired.

barty: fine! [hands in weapon and badge]

boss: ... you're a waiter where did you get these

#source: twitter #barty crouch jr.#barty #rosekiller #bartylus #incorrect slytherin skittles #incorrect marauders quotes #marauders era #slytherin skittles

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n0blefl0wer · 6 months

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Skittles as a conversation my friends and I have had

Dorcas: I’m going to ring your fucking neck, Bartemius

Evan: careful. He’s into that.

Barty: yeah, at least take me out to dinner first

Regulus: don’t cream your pants, Crouch

#marauders #marauders era #dead gay wizards #jegulus #regulus black #barty crouch jr #evan rosier #rosekiller #dorcas meadowes #incorrect marauders era #incorrect marauders quotes #incorrect slytherin skittles #slytherin skittles

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wild-flowerhoney · 8 months

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death eaters what we do in the shadows au (which is just. a documentary au if we want to be picky ig)

evan: the dark lord wants to conquer the world, which sounds like a good idea at first.

regulus: but after the first week you just start thinking "why am i doing this?" and there's no good answer really.

barty: yeah, it gets boring FAST.

regulus: of course it's a trap! why would the dark lord want to go on a stroll through muggle london?!

evan: to see how much of it we've conquered! and when he finds out that it's just grimmauld place he's going to kill us!

barty: well if you think he's gonna "QUACK" us then maybe we should "QUACK" him first.

regulus: you want us to "quack" him?

barty: if you think he's gonna do it first then yes!

evan: let's not discuss this any further, someone could hear us.

regulus: also, can he even die?

bellatrix: i heard them plotting to murder you, my lord.

barty: she speaks the bullshit!

regulus: we simply floated the idea, my lord.

bellatrix: you didn't float it, you plotted it!

evan: plotting and floating are very similar, to be fair.

*door slams open, all three scream*

peter: oh- i didn't-

barty: are you happy now, pettigrew? you just scared the shit out of all three of us.

regulus: so you don't knock anymore? hmm? is this the new you?

evan: this fucking guy-

#marauders #marauders era #death eaters #regulus black #evan rosier #barty crouch jr #peter pettigrew #slytherin skittles #bellatrix lestrange #incorrect harry potter quotes #incorrect marauders #incorrect slytherin skittles #what we do in the shadows #wwdits #i felt really funny when i picked regulus to say the “can he even die” line #look at me im a comedian mom #wwdits au

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oasis-of-stars-4 · 4 months

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Regulus: I love being right. It’s one of my favorite personality traits.

#regulus black #slytherin #slytherin skittles #ngl could also be barty #hogwarts #death eaters #first wizarding war #marauders era #wizarding world #harry potter #hp #harry potter fandom #hp fandom #incorrect quotes #incorrect harry potter quotes #incorrect hp quotes #incorrect slytherin skittles #incorrect slytherin quotes

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starsmacabray · 7 months

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*slytherin skittles on the train, frantically looking for Regulus*

Evan: that’s his brother, right? let’s ask him.

*walks up to find marauders scrambling around a compartment with the benches torn open and the walls covered in clawmarks*

the skittles: *blinks*

James: GOT HIM! *triumphantly holds up a very angry looking black cat*

Sirius: There you are, cat! You can’t run off without your ribbon! *ties bright pink bow to cat’s neck who tries to claw his eyes out*

Pandora (whispering): … is that …

Evan: don’t say a word.

*Barty and Dorcas rolling on the floor in hysterics*

#and then barty steals the cat and runs away #slytherin skittles #black cat regulus #regulus headcanon #regulus black #regulus black kinnie #animagus regulus #incorrect slytherin skittles #incorrect marauders quotes

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not-rab · 5 months

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13-year-old Sirius: You know what, I think it's time we started swearing. When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first and then you.

12-year-old Regulus: Okay.

[downstairs]

Walburga: What do you want for breakfast?

Sirius: I'll have Cocoa Puffs, bitch.

Walburga: Go to your room!

Walburga, to Regulus: And what do you want?

Regulus: Dunno but it won't be fucking Cocoa Puffs.

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daddiesdrarryy · 4 months

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Barty: You slept with Potter?

Regulus: I didn’t know what else to do! He had those big, sad eyes. I couldn’t help it!

Evan: …sure, sounds like you had no other choice

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loz-tearsofahomo · 3 months

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James: and so I'm pretty sure I'm in love with Reg-

Evan: I'm sorry?

James: Well hes-

Evan: No I'm just sorry.

Barty: yeah mate praying for you

#marauders #hp #Slytherin skittles #jegulus #james potter #starchaser #regulus black #barty crouch jr #evan rosier #the slytherin skittles #the marauders #marauders era #marauders incorrect quotes #harry potter incorrect quotes #harry potter #loz posts #rosekiller

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moonytoastx · 4 months

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Regulus: "Your eyes are red. Are you high again?"

Barty, imitating Regulus: "ArE yOu HiGH AGaIN?"

Barty: "No, bitch. I've been crying.

Regulus:

Regulus: "Oh."

#marauders era #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #incorrect quotes #james & peter & remus & sirius #moony x padfoot #wolfstar #dorlene #lily evans #marlene mckinnon #jegulus #slytherin skittles #barty crouch jr #barty is my spirit animal

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theprongspotter · 24 days

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First Year Regulus: Do I talk too much?

First Year Evan: My guy, this is the first time you’ve spoken all day and it’s late in the evening.

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c: @akwardsilince

#marauders #marauders era #marauders incorrect quotes #incorrect marauders quotes #dead gay wizards #dead gay wizards from the 70s #gay dead wizards #regulus black #regulus arcturus black #evan rosier #evan and regulus #regulus and evan #the slytherin skittles

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machiavellli · 4 months

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If the slytherins had socials…part XIII

<- part XII

-> part XIV

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doorlene · 11 months

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regulus, trying to be helpful: maybe if you just put pen to paper?

pandora: i tried that. i thought, "i'll just sit down and write whatever comes. no judgment, no inner critic". merlin, was that a bad idea.

regulus: really? why?

pandora: because my brain is a wild jungle full of scary gibberish: "i'm writing a letter i can't write a letter why can't i write a letter i'm wearing a green dress i wish i was wearing my blue dress my blue dress is with the house elves the aurors wore grey you wore blue 'casablanca' 'casablanca' is such a good movie 'casablanca' the ministry dumbledore why don't i ride a broom i should ride a broom i should really take my bicycle to school bicycle unicycle unitard hockey puck rattlesnake monkey monkey underpants".

regulus:

#source: gilmore girls #i have this #whole dialogue #memorized #pandora my adhd gf #incorrect slytherin skittles #pandora rosier #pandora lovegood #regulus black #slytherin skittles #incorrect pandora rosier #incorrect pandora lovegood #incorrect regulus black #barty crouch jr #dorcas meadowes #evan rosier #marauders era

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nixnight1 · 4 months

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Regulus high with Barty at the Potter's

Sirius: Can I get in here? I need the- Oh my god!!

Regulus using Sirius' clothes and makeup: It's like looking on a mirror!!

Sirius: No it isn’t, Regulus >:(

Regulus: Who's Regulus?

Barty: I already can't tell who is who

Sirius: Take that stuff off

Regulus: Moony! Get in here and settle this!

Sirius: Don't call my boyfriend "Moony"

Remus: What? OH woah-hey Hey, travel size Pads! Awww

Sirius: Moonyyyy, you're encouraging him

James: I need the bathroom... Oh wow this is confusing

Sirius: No, it's not!

Regulus: You're my family and I love you all, but I'm cooler than all of you!

Sirius: I don't say that

James: Well that's all you say

Remus and Barty: Yeah

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wild-flowerhoney · 9 months

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regulus: due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.

evan: potter said 'i love you' and you said 'thanks', didn't you?

regulus: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–

#hp #marauders era #regulus black #evan rosier #jegulus #starchaser #incorrect slytherin skittles #incorrect jegulus

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oasis-of-stars-4 · 4 months

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Barty: You’re alive. Evan: No need to sound so disappointed.

#barty crouch junior #barty crouch jr #slytherin #slytherin skittles #first wizarding war #hogwarts #marauders era #wizarding world #death eaters #harry potter #hp #harry potter fandom #hp fandom #incorrect quotes #incorrect harry potter quotes #incorrect hp quotes #incorrect slytherin skittles #incorrect slytherin quotes

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