if i see one more person call harvey guillén “unconventionally attractive” i’m gonna commit blood libel. he’s hot. he’s just not thin or white or cishet.
“but avi that’s what ‘unconventionally attractive’ means!!!!!!” cool!!!! well maybe it shouldn’t!!!!!!!!
beach episode when???
....you can really tell we're in hiatus, huh.
(ID in alt and under cut)
ID: 1. Full body of the whole household standing on the beach at night. From left to right we have: Colin Robinson, dressed in a beige speedo, striped brown bucket hat, white socks, and leather sandals, smiling and holding the Nadja doll in the crook of his elbow. He is completely hairless. Dolly, Nadja, and Laszlo are dressed in matching vintage bathing suits, a black one piece with red polka dots at booty short length with a sweetheart neckline and thin shoulder straps. They also all have matching wedge shoes in the same color. Dolly has all her hair pulled up in a high bun with a pink flower tucked on the left side and is wearing a pink coverup. She is smiling easily in Colin's arms with her hinged knees pulled up daintily. Nadja stands with her hair in the same style, dark leg hair free to the wind, holding a clear green inner tube under her right arm and her left hand laced with Laszlo's. She looks excited to be back on a beach and is smiling, peeking over at her husband from the corner of her eye. Laszlo peeks back with a grin of his own, twirling a lacy parasol over his shoulder with his free hand. The neckline of his swimsuit shows off some moderate chest hair. His hair is up in a bun and he has a red kerchief tied gayly around his neck. Standing slightly in front is Nandor, hands on his hips, wearing what looks like either a wrestler's leotard or an extremely skimpy one piece swimsuit. Brick red, cut high in the leg and low at the chest to show off maximum body hair, of which there is a relative forest. He also has the same ring necklace and leather arm brace he wore to the gym along with knee high leather boots. On the far end is Guillermo, dressed in flipflops, plain blue swim trunks, and a white tee shirt. He has a soft cooler strapped over his shoulder and is holding an ornate long-handled feather fan in both hands, which he is flapping continuously by the side of Nandor's head. Nandor has a vaguely annoyed expression, hair blowing around and into his face, and says, "That is enough fanning, now, Guillermo." Guillermo, who is tomato-red and nervously looking everywhere except at his housemates, doesn't seem to hear.
2. Nandor, soaking wet and leaning over to squeeze out his hair with both hands, steps up next to Guillermo to ask "Guillermo, will you not get in the water?" He is surrounded by sparkles and Guillermo looks away with red cheeks and a pained smile, holding his hand up as if warding off the shine. He replies, "No, thank you. I'm good."
3a. Nandor shouts, "Nonsense!" and with a big fangy grin he tosses Guillermo up in the air, spinning towards the ocean. Guillermo, upside down in midair, looks understandably shocked. 3b. Close up on a big sploosh in the sea as Guillermo makes his landing, Nandor standing on the beach in the background with a big grin, hands proudly on his hips.
4a. Close up on Guillermo as he breaches the sea with a gasp, standing up in the waist-high water with his arms spread out in surprise, eyes wide and angry as he catches his breath. His white shirt is now see through and plastered to the skin of his belly and chest, dark nipples visible through the fabric. He shouts, "Nandor, what the fuck!!" 4b. Close up on Nandor in profile as he watches Guillermo heatedly from the beach, biting his lip with a small smile as his cheeks flush purple. Offscreen, Guillermo shouts "Wha- my glasses, where are my glasses?!" In the background, Nadja and Laszlo are reclined together on a towel under the parasol, watching Guillermo with mild interest. Laszlo has dug out a pair of opera glasses to see better. At their feet, Dolly is buried to her neck in sand with two large bucket-shaped sand boobs above her chest. On their far side is Colin, sitting cross-legged on the sand and slathering sunscreen uselessly over every exposed bit of skin. He grins over toward Guillermo and shouts back, "Looking good, Gizmo!" /end ID
I think next szn there should be a scene where sean walks in on some blatantly vampiric hijinks and laszlo sighs, going to hypnotize him but sean goes ‘no no no, don’t you do you’re funny mind trick yet laz, I’ve got something to say’ “……” ‘boys night at seven. alright, go ahead’
I'm gonna give you all a very hard truth
WWDITS would have flopped if it wasn't for Guillermo's Van Helsing arc.
i love writing human-again nandor lost in nyc bcs guillermo's in staten island shitting himself like 'what if he gets fucking mugged' and marwa's like baby he was a fearsome war criminal he'll be fine the djinns like i hope he gets mugged and then it cuts to nandor getting mugged
My Familiar's Ghost part 9
(ID in alt and under cut)
ID: 1a. Stu, Colin, and Nandor gathered around a security camera monitor, Stu sitting and the vampires leaning in around him. Stu explains, “Here’s the feed from the night your friend went missing.” Nandor jerked forward, panic crossing over his face as he shouts, “Feed?! I knew it, Rick ate poor Guillermo!” Colin replies without taking his eyes off the screen, “Camera feed, Nandor. He’s gonna show us the recording.” 1b. Film reel of the camera feed labeled “cam 2”. The first panel shows a low angle of the store distorted in black and white as Stu fast forwards, blurs of customers flitting across the screen. Stu narrates, “This is about 10pm…10:30…” Nandor coos, “Ooh, look at all the little peoples go!” The second panel goes still and in color, Nandor calling “Stop! There he is!” Sure enough, we see Guillermo walking down the aisle, black leather bag in hand, calling for Derek. In the third panel, Guillermo turns at the end of the aisle and walks past the edge of the camera’s view. Nandor asks from offscreen, “Where is he going?” 1c. Shot of the boys crowded around the monitor again, Nandor looking worried and wringing his hands together. Stu answers, “Stock room, looks like.” Colin asks, “No cameras in there?” and Stu responds “No, the focus is on loss prevention so it’s more important to cover the cash, doors, and shopping areas.” 1d. Stu continues from offscreen, “But we may be able to hear some of the audio if I…” He clicks through cameras quickly, the panel flashing on cam 3 then cam 4 before settling on cam 5, showing a different corner of the empty store closer to the stock room. We hear Guillermo’s staticky voice from nearby finish his sentence from the end of season 4: “nto a vampire.”
2a. Medium shot of the boys peering seriously at the camera monitor as the audio plays, Nandor still fiddling with his hands and looking concerned. The conversation is as follows. Derek: What? Listen, Guillermo, I appreciate this, but-. Guillermo: one-time offer, Derek! Or do you wanna keep living in a storage facility for the next hundred years? Derek: Hey, U-Store has very reasonable prices! Guillermo: Derek. Derek: Look. My life has kinda…sucked? Since I got turned? I mean, I was a loser before, but. Now I’ve got no family, no friends, shit job, a vitamin d deficiency that I can’t even take supplements for because they make me puke my guts out-. Guillermo: That’s not gonna be me. This has been my life for 13 years already. It’s all I’ve been working toward, and I deserve it. 2b. Colin and Stu both glance up at Nandor while Guillermo speaks, and Nandor looks away with a pout, embarrassed. Guillermo continues: I’ve been waiting all this time for someone to give me eternal life. It’s about time I take it for myself. And you’re gonna help me. Derek: Sigh… okay, I’m off in like, 20 minutes? If you wanna wait?
3a. After a black line break, we cut to Nandor and Colin leaving the store. Stu sees them out, leaning out the door to give them a tired wave. Colin, the back of his head and hand posed in a finger gun taking up the foreground, calls “See ya later, alligator!” Nandor turns back to say “Bye-bye, Stu!” then lifts his hand, glowing green, to try again at hypnotism, commanding “You will remember nothing if our visit.” Stu, unaffected, just says “Okay. Have a nice night.” Colin adds “Don’t forget to email me about that masterclass, we’ll talk shop!” 3b. Far shot of Colin and Nandor walking away from the gas station, both with big smiles. Colin says, “Nice guy,” and Nandor adds “Really cool guy.” /end ID