Jason Todd poem.
Hi my name is Jason and this is my story
Buckle up yall cause it’s bout to get gory
Gory, what glory, no glory in this story
Cause your grandma and other assorted important people are boutta be shot by my gun.
Gun. Glock. On lock. Grock.
Groot? Grogu, groku.
All dead. I shot them in the head. This isn’t baby disney time this is GOTHAM! Take your sensitive ass back to Detroit.
Gottem .
…
(Pause)
His mama be hitting him .
Papa be hitting him .
Booty be shitting him.
Joker too, but that crazy man should be in the loony bin.
Trauma got me fucked up, my mama got me fucked up
damien got locked up, it's like Hakuna Matata
More like hakuno manono.
Cause ma-nono one survives Gotham, but by god I’ve got big ma-tatas.
And Because I’ve met gotham and he’s really mean. He hurt my feelings. I’ll kill him..
So don’t go tattlin.
I always got shit for my booty, the constipated gangster.
Batman Called me flat, I said bitch smell you later.
Took my ass to the store, called batman a whore, got my ass beat now the hospitals in store.
Called joker a whore he said HAHA my middle name is bbl all serious..
To that I said bro youve gyat to be delirious
Because real eyes realize real guys.
Delirious,I was Curious, how the joker bagged Harley Quinn
Furious cause no way he had a penis anything but thin
So I called he r up, asked her for the deets.Cause I’m nosy
She said HAHAHA and said well-
and I said
I killed your grandmother in gotham.
Cause no one is safe from me…
No one…
Not even anyone… not even Batman or gotham.
And maybe I was the joker all along.
And the bat man too
And possibly green Lantern but I need to test my poo
No one is safe..
Not even you.
26 notes
·
View notes
Arkham games Joker: Would you still love me if I multiplied myself for you Bats?
Batman: I don't love you now
Batman: Wait what
*Animated Jokers, movie Jokers, Lego Joker and Telltale Joker slowly creep up behind him.*
29 notes
·
View notes
A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)
Part 52 (Masterlist)
(Part 53)
@bruciemilf it’s all about the grind bestie
Can you believe I didn’t photoshop the Tonight Show photos? That actually happened. (They did it for me.)
Thanks for the love everyone <3 I’ve noticed a lot more people commenting who aren’t Battinson/Batman/DC fans but follow the AU anyway, and that really warms my heart. Thanks for joining us :)
Things are happening. Gotham is in suspense. Bruce is being social. Please pray for Caleb’s sanity. But that’s all for now! Buh-bye!
2K notes
·
View notes
Batman and Robin poem.
Street smarts book smarts robins know
Every time in Gotham roam the streets like oh
They will catch the bad guys,they will never lose
All the bad guys end up killing themselves, look through their ruse
Cause it’s in Gotham, where the robins are
Goth one, that’s what nightwing is, a booty farm
Lgbtq, lantern green, batman tim, drake gay that’s okay
Even Batman loves everyone that’s amazing okay?
24 notes
·
View notes
DC X DP WRITING PROMPT:
Danny can hear the screams of the dead, the echoes of ghosts- shades of the dead- unpowered by ectoplasm. It’s his right as the High King of the Infinite Realms.
And during his weekly floats through his home planet to de-stress (no one ever attacks during these floats because a cranky and stressed Danny is a bad time for everyone involved), he comes across the Joker, torturing Tim Drake into becoming Joker Junior. More like he was lead there by the vortex of shades screaming at Joker to let the kid go and versions other threats or incoherent screams of pain and hatred.
He punts the clown into the sun (or in a ditch because Gotham is not known for her love of the thing called “sunlight”) and gathers up a sobbing Tim (JJ) who’s cackling through his tears like the laugh is being torn out of him, and flies away. Danny figures out his own personal ectoplasm shots help the insanity because Tim’s died before (and got brought back) via electro therapy shocks. Danny sees so much of himself in Tim and the potential for both immense good and immense evil and realizing they’re both choosing to seclude themselves to not harm others (Tim locks himself in his room to stop throwing things at Danny when he slips into insanity- which, it doesn’t actually affect Danny because he can turn intangible). Danny realizes that it’s not healthy and it doesn’t make anyone happy, so he works with himself and Tim to heal. Basically, Tim and Danny finds family in each other and heals while Batman, Nightwing, and Alfred loses their shit searching for Tim (“YOU LET JOKER KILL ANOTHER ONE OF MY BROTHERS, B!) (I WON’T LET YOU SHOULDER THE WEIGHT OF KILLING SOMEONE.) (I WOULD SHOULDER ANYTHING IF IT MEANT KEEPING TIM SAFE FROM THE JOKER!!!) (I can’t lose another son, Alfred) (I know, master Bruce. I know.)
Anyways, they find themselves back and Jason’s like hey I’m gonna kill the next Robin- oh wait Joker’s dead huh how’d that happen and then he’s like wtf do you mean “joker junior” wtf wtf wtf
Aunt Harley gets some of her own therapy and tracks Danny down to apologize to Tim, but stays away just in case she triggers an attack. She’s a villain, she’s done some horrible things and felt no guilt for it, but Tim was a line she thought she’d never cross and it kills her
2K notes
·
View notes