#cptsd stuff | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

epoch-smog · 2 years

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Abuse , cptsd , verbal abuse , 1 phrase is implied racism , do not tag as traumacore

"Trained anxiety"

These are the things that have been said to me. Caused me a lot of pain and anxiety, pain in the moment, and anxiety later in life.

#basil's art #personal art #from phone #tw: verbal abuse #tw: abuse #cptsd stuff #ask to tag anything else?

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cyber-judas · 1 month

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BPD + schizoaffective disorder is really cool bc delusions and perceived abandonment become the most real and painful thing in the world and it makes me so fucking ashamed of myself after the fact

#jude dot vbs #cptsd stuff #schizospec stuff

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biblicalhorror · 3 months

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Every time I get to a place where I'm like "maybe I don't have cptsd maybe I'm just a fundamentally evil ungrateful person" I go to read posts on here made by other people with cptsd and its like someone has transcribed my inner monologue with perfect clarity and I'm like oh yeah guess what I am describing is what's known as a symptom

#cptsd stuff #feeling extremely unstable lately and i cannot figure out why #and just idk. disillusioned with the concept of 'healing' which feels so sisyphean the longer i keep at it #just read a stat that people with cptsd require 10 years of therapy ON AVERAGE #and like i started therapy i think 8 years ago but ive been in it on and off in that time #altogether probably about 3.5 years in therapy #and technically for the first 4 years i was seeing a psychiatrist and not a therapist so like i dont even know if that would count #especially since at that time i was being treated for bipolar so like it wasnt even the right kind of therapy #like. do i have another 8 years of therapy in my future #its so endless #i just want to be able to exist and not be constantly managing the zillion little factors in life that could set me off at any time #and im also aware that the contempt i hold for my traumatized self is a big part of the issue #but i feel like i can only hold so much space before it starts to feel like my brain is actively sabotaging any progress i make

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to0needy · 4 months

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i don’t know who i am anymore, there’s too many versions of “me”

#borderline #borderline personality disorder #borderline thoughts #bpd #bpd vent #actually bpd #tw ptsd #actually ptsd #bpd feels #bpd thoughts #borderline things #bpd shit #bpd mood #bpd problems #ptsd vent #ptsd problems #cptsd vent #actually cptsd #tw depressing stuff

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interruptedsblog · 2 months

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I feel empty, I feel a hole in my chest while sadness and anguish are invading me. I don't have enough strength to get up, move, concentrate and eat.

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chronicsymptomsyndrome · 5 months

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*displays textbook symptomatic behavior of my own disorder that I am well educated on* what’s my deal why am I like this

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slivincptsd · 1 year

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furiousgoldfish · 3 months

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my brain @ me: you will get your memories... when I decide they're relevant. Maybe not even then. However,,, anytime is a good time to repeat the same traumatic flashback that you already know about. I will do that more, just in case.

#osdd #cptsd #ptsd #flashbacks #memory loss #missing memories #brain only giving me the shitty stuff #and gatekeeping useful info #did

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futureless · 2 years

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i don’t know if i’m fighting demons or if i am the demon at this point

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lostmf · 24 days

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youwillleaveme · 2 months

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feel like i’m faking all my diagnoses like what if i’m just overreacting and it’s really not that deep i feel awful and exhausting maybe i just want attention or whatever is wrong w me

#actually bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd #bpd vent #bpd problems #bpd shit #bpd feels #tw bpd #bpd fp #actually borderline #bpd stuff #actually cptsd #cptsd vent #complex ptsd #ptsd

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cyber-judas · 1 month

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hghh please kill me i am so so so feeling the attachment/lack of attention pain and anxiety and like. oghghhghh its killing me HOW DO PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THIS. i can't stop thinking "pleasedontleavemepleasedontleavemepleasedontleaveme" and im so worriec d bc they also have a lot on their plate and i don't want them to be uspet or sad or stressed and im like just aughghgh whyyy i wanna cry

#kaz oclock #cptsd stuff #genuinely like i wanna go curl up in a corner and cry cry cry idk what to do???/

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ed-recoverry · 1 year

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Daily reminder that your body shouldn’t look the same as did when you were 14. It’s not a matter of gaining or losing weight from that age, it’s the fact that your body literally changes over the years. Especially in your teens. It’s just how bodies work. Don’t punish yourself for something you have no control of.

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to0needy · 3 months

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can i just die and reincarnate as a cat?

#borderline #borderline personality disorder #borderline thoughts #bpd #bpd vent #actually bpd #tw ptsd #actually ptsd #bpd feels #bpd thoughts #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #depressing shit #cptsd vent #tw self h4rm #tw sui vent #tw sui talk #tw sui ideation #tw sui joke

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alpaca-clouds · 3 months

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About healing Astarion's vampirism

I need to talk about this. Because I have seen this take creep up a lot and... I hate it so much.

The take goes something like this: Because the narrative connects Astarion's vampirism so heavily with his trauma, his vampirism shouldn't be healed before he has overcome his trauma. (Bonus point for people giving then some strange timelines for the healing like several hundred years.) Thanks, I hate it.

Yeah, the narrative connects his trauma and his vampirism, but that is because we mostly follow his story from his perspective. And to him, yes, his trauma and his vampirism are connected. Because he came to Cazador through being transformed into a vampire. Duh.

But let's put this into a more real world perspective. Let's say someone got into a relationship with an abusive partner who somehow physically harmed them. If we go with one very popular vampirism-analogy, let's say their abusive partner gave them HIV. And they managed to escape the abusive relationship. Would you tell them: "You cannot get treatment for your HIV before you overcome your trauma from the abuse"? Of course you wouldn't. That would be a fucking stupid and cruel and maybe even deadly.

The issue here is that technically speaking... healing vampirism is actually not that hard in the DnD world. It really is not. Sure, in the actual DnD lore normally vampire spawn would lose their soul and it might be harder to get that soul back. Though I still hate the concept of souls in DnD lore, because it is so loosely defined. However BG3 does away with this, because we know for a fact that the vampire spawn still have their soul. Because Cazador wants to sacrifice their souls for his ascension. So, yeah... If you have a Tav (or other character) promising Astarion to find a cure... Realistically speaking I doubt it would take more than a few years.

Here is the thing though: It would not magically cure Astarion's trauma. Because while he connects those two things, they are only loosely connected. Sure, it might in fact help him to be able to go back into the sun and stuff (get your vitamin D!), but... It will not make the trauma just go away.

He can still be traumatized as an elf.

But... also... When I see people going on about how he is gonna need centuries to heal I gotta wonder: How do you people think trauma works?

Like, let me put it like this: You will never fully heal trauma. Trauma basically just permanently changes your nervous system. And that is just nothing that will ever go away.

However, you can learn to live with it. You can learn mechanisms to work through some of the symptoms of trauma. Ways to deal with nightmares, flashbacks, triggers. Training yourself to think just a bit differently about it. Breathing techniques. Stuff like that.

And... like, learning that stuff will not take that long. A few years maybe. At least if you actually try to work with it.

The trauma will not go away. But he can learn to deal with it. And that is probably just as good as it is gonna get.

#baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #trauma #ptsd #cptsd #fandom stuff

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chronicsymptomsyndrome · 5 months

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PDA autistic culture is hating the demand that comes with labels so much that you don’t even like identifying as agender because it still feels like…a gender (a concept which society forcefully imposed on you, and you therefore want no part of)

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