“i love you” until i’m sobbing because your tone slightly changed

it hurts

talking to someone that’ll never be yours

that’ll never see you the way you see them

will never care about you like you do them

it hurts

trying to decide if i care or not (everything i've ever known is falling apart)

Hahahahahaha, yeah I'm fine. No, no ofc I'm not working myself to death simply to ignore the fact I'm nobody's favorite, why would you say that? hahahahahahahaahahah

"do you ever shut up?" im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry

i might be doing really terrible on the emotional regulation front but in my defense ive had a gaping hole in my chest since i was 12

BPD is so confusing. I don't want to be in another relationship again, I'm too afraid of them leaving me. But I want to have sex. I can't have casual sex though. Now I want more than that, I want to cuddle and be told that I'm precious and such a good girl. I want someone to tell me how good I'm doing and how proud they are of me. I want to cuddle someone to sleep while I'm wearing a t-shirt and they're completely naked. I want them to spoon me. But I'm too scared to be in another relationship. I can't deal with another person leaving me. I can't deal with anyone else, period. I'm tired of people. I'm tired of being used. I deserve to be alone. I deserve to rot. I deserve everything that comes to me but God damnit deep down I know I just want to be truly, purely, completely loved.

Sometimes I wish we never met

⭐️ving because I can

- it’s in my control and nothing can keep me from it.

you’ll find someone great

and i’ll rot in a grave

you’ll live a happy life

and i’ll finally be able to sleep at night

everyone’s happy

Blocked blocked blocked blocked blocked

Yes I just blocked everyone I love why because they were going to leave anyways.

Having borderline personality disorder is loving people so much that you hate them and hate yourself