BPD culture is I can never let anyone close. BPD is not being able to trust anyone, not even yourself. It's telling yourself you can handle just sleeping with someone, but then when they coddle you after sex it's too much and makes you cry. I know it was fake. No one really loves me. No one really cares about me. Everybody just uses me. Don't give me a false sense of security. You're lying, everybody always lies. Bpd is wanting so badly to just be normal. To feel normal, to think normal. But it's actually destroying your room in rage. Throwing and breaking things. Hurting yourself. Ruining any shot you've got at having a good relationship with anyone. It's not wanting to exist anymore. It's wanting to disappear at least once a day. It's please someone kill me, please put me out this misery. Please end this. Please.

I can't take it anymore. i can't fake another smile. I can't fake it through another day. I'm tired of always wearing a mask. why is it I have to take care of myself when I've never even been shown care? I don't know how to take care of myself. My parents wired me to hate every ounce of my being. It's I just want someone to care about me. It's no one will ever care about me, not like I do them. It's I will never be loved how I love you. It's being ashamed to feel so largely. It's being ashamed to be so sensitive.

mood

the last time I felt human.. (31/10/22) 🌙🖤

So you’re mad because my mental illness is illing

my honest reaction to every information lately

Yknow km not perfect but kinda hot in a serverly mentally damaged way,

hehehe

The borderlined life excerpt three from my poetry book:

“I don’t want to fight you, I don’t want you to be hurt. This isn’t me whose talking right now, and it’s not you that’s in front of me. There is a flame inside me, it’s been growing for a while, when I say I hate you, I really mean I hate myself.”

BPD is so confusing. I don't want to be in another relationship again, I'm too afraid of them leaving me. But I want to have sex. I can't have casual sex though. Now I want more than that, I want to cuddle and be told that I'm precious and such a good girl. I want someone to tell me how good I'm doing and how proud they are of me. I want to cuddle someone to sleep while I'm wearing a t-shirt and they're completely naked. I want them to spoon me. But I'm too scared to be in another relationship. I can't deal with another person leaving me. I can't deal with anyone else, period. I'm tired of people. I'm tired of being used. I deserve to be alone. I deserve to rot. I deserve everything that comes to me but God damnit deep down I know I just want to be truly, purely, completely loved.

''I know that I'm loved by you, but it would be nice to be loved by some other people as well'' but why? Why do you need other people to love you, or feel loved by them... when you have me?? Am I not enough? Do I have to get rid of everyone, so you can only depend on me..?

Finally home

Where I can rot in peace

Girls with bpd are like "I'm such a free thinker"

The same girlies when kangel:

Male/masculine pronoun version

Non binary/Gender neutral version