People underestimate how much it fucks you up to be subtly excluded as a kid. I would try to talk to my classmates and be met with disinterest or annoyance. The one friend I had, who I clung to and nodded along to his every word, had other friends he liked just as much or more. And his other friends didn’t care for me at all.

I look back at pictures from the time and see how separated I was from them. I remember knowing I was different. I remember posing questions about the world to the girls playing next to me and realizing that they had never asked the same ones to themselves. That the ways we thought couldn’t be more different.

I kept myself amused with my own fanatical stories and musings in my head. I would wander the playground on a circular path, imagining a friend and being sorely disappointed when it didn’t feel as real as I’d hoped.

There was a bubble separating me from everyone else, thin, and nearly invisible, but with a pearly sheen you could catch under the right conditions. I knew it was there, they knew it was there, and it changed me

Just want remind tumblr people that is ok have hard time adapting, is ok if autism or other disability slow down learn process. Is ok if have adapt to new socially acceptable concept but have hard time, is ok if had problematic ideas and try learn but slow (still have try tho).

Is ok have hard time to change. Not bad person if try change.

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

Thinking about how the ancient Greeks looked up at the night sky and called what they saw planḗtai ("wanderers"), and today, we call them planets.

Me, stimming to music with in my room.

For the next three hours straight.

Keep stimming! 💜

Self-regulation is very very very important.

This new Bad Batch episode means so much to me.

Tech is just like me. I’ve never seen an episode or character display emotional/event processing in this way. I’ve heard about it, but I’ve never seen it. I’ve spent most of my life mimicking other people, and saying things that I think other wish to hear. It’s an anxiety ridden game of “will I say the right thing to fit in”, especially when the words that clearly mean so much are to someone else. I’ve learned that it’s called “masking”, a tactic used to mimic the same end result of processing and ‘fit in’, even though the way I process big/emotional/rough events is different than others. I’ve had people tell me horrendous things, and I feel like such a terrible person for being unable to cry in sympathy, because isn’t that what you’re supposed to do when someone tells you something terrible happened to them? Isn’t that how you show that you care? Why is it that such a thing doesn’t make me express visible emotion, when a simple irritating sound or change of plans is enough to send me into a breakdown? Is it just because I’m selfish, and can only cry about things that effect me?

It never clicked for me, that I am not something broken or wrong because I am unable to respond to things in a manner that people expect. I do my best, but I always come up short or feel terribly fake, and I never understood why. Why was I different? Why can I only express how I feel in the flowing metaphors of words on a page, of imagery and colors and internalized sorting, but never a spoken emotional label or response?

Seeing Omega say the things she did was a mimicry of my nightmares, that I would be ‘found out’ by those I love. But Tech’s response, the more I think about it, the more it just breaks me. “I may process moments and thoughts differently, but it does not mean that I feel any less than you.”

And that’s true. I feel so much, but it never comes out in a way that is common, and I thought I was numb or messed up somehow. Tech showed, on screen, that it is okay to not ‘fit in’ with the expected responses, and that it is not an indication of being messed up. I want so badly to be able to just drop the mask and not walk around riddled with anxiety that I’ll mess up. And maybe in a world where people see stuff like this, and can understand better it’ll be possible. Tech showed me that I’m not numb. I’m not stoic. And what I am is not a bad thing. I don’t have to fit in, I can just be me.

So, to the creators of The Bad Batch, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for this episode. Thank you for Tech. You have already provided me with a world to love, and now you’ve given me a place in it.

Small talk, the visuals. I've heard that autistic people tend to think in this black-or-white sort of thinking (not always; see, the entire autistic spectrum) and I never thought that was me, but then I started thinking.

I notice that the neurotypical often envy accommodation for neurodivergents. They seem to think that neurodivergents are given more than they need, given more than these neurotypical ones. This shows how neurotypical people in most cases do not understand that accommodation is a vital thing, without which it is almost impossible to live. For them, it's like getting a chair to sit in, at a time when they could continue to stand. And for neurodivergents, it's like getting a chair, since it's impossible to stand anymore. Neurotypical people, people without disabilities need to understand that the accommodation does not make the life of neurodivergent people better than the life of neurotypical people, but only brings them closer to a normal standard of living.

PDA autistic culture is hating the demand that comes with labels so much that you don’t even like identifying as agender because it still feels like…a gender (a concept which society forcefully imposed on you, and you therefore want no part of)

So, I don’t really fit the term semiverbal, but I definitely don’t fit as a fully verbal autistic either. Because of this, I’ve been thinking of what a good term would be for sorta verbal (aka can reliably talk a decent amount of the time, but also has plenty of verbal shutdowns, and a little trouble speaking in a way that’s usually not all that hindering when able to speak) autistic. I decided on demi-verbal and think this sums up my experiences pretty well. I’ve never seen demi-verbal anywhere and searching for it brought up nothing.

Demi-verbal:

Can reliably speak most of the day for most days of the week

Verbal shutdowns happen anywhere from a few times a week to a few times a month, possibly for no apparent reason

May experience some level of difficulty with mouth words, anywhere between slight difficulty only a little of the time to half the time

Please respect nonverbal/non-speaking and semiverbal/semi-speaking autistics and listen when they tell you not to use (and thus misuse) a word/words that was coined specifically for nonverbal/non-speaking and/or semiverbal/semi-speaking autistics. Those words/terms were coined for a reason.

Please, for the love of god, leave me CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS!!! If you think it’s implied, I promise you that to me it is not. If you give me poorly worded or vague directions I’m gonna spend half an hour stressing over the potential different ways to interpret them and either become paralyzed with indecision or inevitably interpret them the least correct way possible

Guys, lets talk in nice tone. Because momo genuinely want all to understand.

It no matter if you "consider self" disabled or not by autism. Autism is ASD, autism spectrum DISORDER. Aka, a neurodevelopmental disorder/disability.

Maybe not have ID/LD, maybe not be HSN or even MSN but if autism, than disabled.

If not disabled by symptoms then not autistic. IS LITERALLY IN DSM5........

Is ok if disagree but need know the actual facts that DSM5 only consider one autism if one is affected and disable by one autism. Just like all other neurodivergencies.

This goes for ADHDers as well 😊

To everyone dreading the fireworks & loud noise:

I see you. 💜

You got this.

You will survive this.

Promised.✨️

Me till everything is over:

One thing that makes Hook and David’s relationship so compelling is that, at it’s core, it’s about misunderstanding.

A prince who has a deep hatred for immorality, corruption and thievery hating pirates because they epitomise it all. Hating Hook because he’s a pirate and never stopping to see anything past that - not realising Killian became a pirate because he shares most of that hatred, because he wanted to stop immorality and corruption from destroying anymore people than it already had after it takes his brother from him. Because he cares about honour and family and good form but doesn’t show it how David does and instead gets pulled down a dark path.

A pirate who became the way he is because he hates the corruption of the monarchy. Someone who dislikes royals that abuse their power and control their subjects taking David to be that very thing but not understanding that David wasn’t always royal, that he grew up poor and taken advantage of by the crown just like Killian. Not realising David had family taken by a corrupt King’s exploits just like he did, that David lost his life and home because of the exact same things.

THEY MAKE ME SICK

I've never understood why my neurotypical friends need to be reminded of my same difficulties every time and be met over and over again with the same reaction of surprise and the question, is it really that bad? When people tell me about their problems with something, I try to remember it and take it for granted. I may forget by accident, but I don't ask again every time if the person is really still unwell from it. So why can't they do the same in my case?