Tumpik
#actuallyautistic
t4tchucky · a day ago
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in conclusion
(if u see this on tiktok. that's me lol)
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g3tstickbuggd · 2 days ago
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to the people who got treated like pets by the "popular kids" in school and didn't understand why: how is that autism diagnosis going for ya?
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autistic-af · 22 hours ago
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Listen to Autistics
By Emma Dalmayne
They say to autistics:
Make eye contact
Look at me
How am I meant to know you can hear me if you don't look at me?
Not like that
Not like that!
Ok your staring now...
Why are you staring?
That's inappropriate eye contact!
Stop staring you look like a freak.
They say to autistics:
Talk to me
You are rude when you don't answer
Can't you talk?
No I'm not looking at your text on the screen you need to learn to talk!
Stop talking so much!
I've heard about this Janice it's called 'info dumping'.
So rude.
They say to autistics:
Express yourself
No stop moving like that it's weird!
Why are you rocking?
You look mad when you do that.
You need to focus
Stop moving
Will you stop fidgeting?!
Ugh, why are you so closed off?
Stop flapping.
They say to autistics:
Er what's wrong with your hearing?
What are you listening to?
Nothing?
So.... just nothing?
We aren't on a building site mate you don't need ear defenders.
Too loud?
What's too loud I can't hear anything?
I'm not talking to you if you wear those you look weird.
They say to autistics:
Stop screaming like that!
Stop crying there's nothing to cry over!
I've read about this Janice it's called a 'meltdown'.
So a tantrum then.
Sort of but not
You would think by that age they would learn to control themselves...
Oh my god JUST GET UP!
Why aren't you talking if you are upset just say there's no need to cry.
You need to communicate.
They say to autistics:
So what's your talent?
So what are you good at?
Well you must have a special talent they all do,
I knew this one person who has autism really good at maths, do you like maths?
Why not?
Trains!
You need a hobby
Not like that that's obsessive!
Less is more.
They say to autistics:
But we use the puzzle piece to represent you because you are puzzling you see?
Er no it's a puzzle
It's not actually up to you is it?
But the puzzle piece is known universally no one knows that sign.
Maybe things will change one day but at least people know what this is yeah?
"But he's my little puzzle piece Janice, that's what I think anyway".
It was made by the National Autistic Society and THEY would know wouldn't they?
They say to autistics:
No... first this THEN that.
I know you are pulling me to the fridge but you have to say the word
Thats not communicating is it?
No no you do the task THIS way THEN you get the treat
So what if its done?
Well you did it the wrong way it's this way.
It may look ok but you made it in the wrong order!
Yes thats right jump three times then you get the treat.
Ok so listen, screaming and pulling at the door handle tells me nothing!
You need to say "Out!" Can you say "Out?".
OUT.
They say to autistics:
Why aren't you normal?
What's wrong with you?
I heard you can cure autism with bleach it's a parasite that causes it.
You are not autistic
You have autism
Don't let it define you
You are more than just autism
I thought you grow out of that?
But that's a kid's thing
Control yourself
You are NOTHING like my neighbours friends son now he is REALLY autistic
You must be high functioning
I know all about autism i saw this programme
"Janice she can't understand you no use talking to her, she can't even talk".
Low functioning.
Never amount ro much
Bless you I'll pray for you
Have you prayed?
Try it the Lord will save you
Not like that
It's the vaccines
Have you tried Homeopathy?
Camels milk is meant to help.
You can overcome autism just work harder
They say to autistics:
You must be hungry
Well if you are hungry you will eat it
There's nothing wrong with it eat it
What do you mean you forgot to eat?
Have you drunk anything?
Why not?
You can't play on that phone all day you need to eat
Er no it's the same brand
No really it is!
Ok it's not.
You surely aren't eating that again?!
No you can't have that again
I don't care if it's all you want to eat
Try this..
Why aren't you eating?
Well obviously she won't starve herself Janice she will give in soon.....
Listen to autistics.
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I was talking to a client today about "how to identify masking" as part of the process of learning how to shift masking from a reflexive coping strategy to a voluntary and conscious one and I feel like it led to a really important shift in framework FOR ME about masking and social distress.
Paraphrasing, the ideas we came to are as follows:
One of the reasons masking can be so difficult to recognize is because, essentially, masking is the act of performing "yourself" as a mirror for the other person you are interacting with. It's this idea of "I will micro-manage my own mood, affect, behavior, mannerisms, and environment in order to reflect back to you whatever version of "self" you need from me because if I don't there will be consequences". So because masking is essentially performing "mirroring" as selfhood by amplifying or minimizing aspects of yourself based on what you think the other person wants to see in you, it varies significantly from one context to another. The major commonality is that it takes up an INCREDIBLE amount of energy, mental and emotional resources, cognitive processing power, etc. So you don't identify masking by specific behaviors so much as by the feeling of "having a significant amount of your mental/emotional resources be occupied by the act of social interaction" to the point that it doesn't leave enough left-over for other cognitive tasks, or leaves you feeling exhausted and worn out, or basically by the impact that masking has on you during and after.
In this framework, part of why we get so anxious about new or unfamiliar people or situations is because we don't know how to mask in that context yet, and so until we get there and figure it out, we're basically just terrified of what could go wrong since we don't know what we're walking into.*
*This is the underlying framework of anticipatory and obsessive anxiety as well. Anticipatory and obsessive anxiety functions as the mechanism by which we conduct both predictive reasoning-basd advance planning and review/self-correctionof our mental predictive model.
Autistic aversion to uncertainty has a lot to do with our need to be able to use predictive reasoning-based advance planning to cope with "social deficits" aka how much harder it is for us to interpret subtextual/nonverbal cues, learn/meet social expectations, and work through/around disordered sensory processing. That predictive reasoning requires us to be familiar, in advance, with the stable constant factors that influence decision making in social contexts. If we aren't familiar with the constant variables than we can't plan, if we can't plan than we are more likely to make noticeable social mis-steps, and if we take notable social mis-steps there are consequences. It becomes necessary for us to be hypervigilent to observable patterns in other people's behavior in order to try to reverse engineer the social interaction playbook on the fly. That ends up making us more likely to assume personal responsibility for predicting and managing the emotional regulatory needs of people around us at all costs, replicating the behavioral/cognitive impacts of chronic traumatic stress due to the activation of our sympathetic nervous system from chronic hypervigilence.
Essentially, masking is a cognitive defense mechanism to severe and/or persistant traumatic interpersonal stressors. As the neurological impacts of chronic traumatic stress heal, we mask less frequently. But in order to heal from chronic traumatic stress, the human brain requires a safe environment that does not trigger a retraumatization episode or replicate feelings of helplessness/fear for safety. In other words, reducing/terminating masking safely requires us as autistic people to have consistent access to social environments in which we are able to utilize autistic interpersonal boundaries without fear of consequence or chonically unmet need. This requires the people around us to be able to respect not only autistic interpersonal boundaries, but also autistic self-expression/advocacy modalities and mediums.
I feel like a lot of the pieces of this framework have been rattling around in my head for a while but the flavor of words hit just right today and all the connections snapped into place.
Anyway, I'm still sort of sorting through the clinical implications of this framework but I think it's a direction I want to keep exploring for sure.
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stormy-mogai · 2 days ago
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"ew no REAL nd person would be that cringe"
Gee, it's almost like neurodivergent people are autonomous human beings who can make their own decisions, and not little robots that solely exist to perform their disability Well Enough for NTs! /s
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autie-j · a day ago
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When you're watching/reading something and a character starts giving off autism vibes
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Image description: a picture of Spiderman on a blue background with the caption, "My autism sense is tingling"
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magnetothemagnificent · 2 days ago
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Autistic white people with low support needs will literally align themselves with eugenics and Nazi ideology before standing in solidarity with and admitting that they're no more superior than their autistic brethren with high support needs.
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distortingbones · a day ago
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hey. autistic transmascs. it's okay if your autistic perspective influenced your discomfort with femininity, and that doesn't mean you're any less trans or that you shouldn't transition/should detransition. if transitioning makes you feel happier and more at ease with your body, then it doesn't matter "why" you're trans. womanhood is not inherently sacred and it's ok to not be a woman if you don't feel like one. a feminine body is not inherently superior to a masculine one, so you aren't "ruining" your body by taking masculinizing hormones or undergoing masculinizing surgeries. do what makes you happiest and don't drink the radfem koolaid.
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spongebob-autisticquestions · 17 hours ago
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To other autistic people, what are your current special interests and what do you love about them?
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imkrisyoung · a day ago
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I don’t like it when people force autistics to do things they’re not comfortable with or they’re not ready for. Coercion and even “suggestions” can put undue pressure on us and stress us out a lot.
My whole life I’ve been under pressure to do things that I knew I wasn’t comfortable doing or that I knew I wasn’t ready for, but I wanted to please other people so bad, and in many instances I would’ve faced consequences if I said no, so I agreed to those things. But then I would end up feeling very stressed out afterwards, sometimes to the point of having a meltdown.
Trying new things can be good. Stepping outside our comfort zones, so to speak, can be good. But only if we’re ready to do so. No one, especially autistic people, should be forced to do something that they’re not ready to do.
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asdcats · a day ago
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The fact my allistic mum is interested in trains and my autistic ass couldn't care less about them is so funny to me.
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autisticquestions · a day ago
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My brain is constantly trying to make me doubt myself by saying: "well if your sister is diagnosed with autism then surely they should have caught it with their next child" to try and like,,, make me doubt myself???
Me and my sister are also very different (although both show different signs of autism, and share many other signs) and sometimes I doubt myself based on that.
Do you have any tips for dealing with something like this?
If you feel/think that you might be autistic, maybe the best thing to do is to find a therapist that can help you get diagnosed. But before doing that, try to read about autism as much as you can, that way you'll see if you can actually relate to some autistic traits.
Here's a link with toooons of PDF's you can read: https://www.mediafire.com/folder/padh7ak6boaz3/Autisme_Asperger
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snorkmaidxn · a day ago
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I repressed my vocal stims as a kid because I got shamed for them, but now they've been resurfacing. I think that's pretty cool. unmasking, baby
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autistic-af · 10 hours ago
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Hubby: *noticing that I'm getting agitated* "Go take your CBD oil."
Me: *suddenly confused because I'm waiting for the kettle to boil for a drink and also feeding the cats*
Hubby: *hugging me gently* "After you feed the cats, and when you sit down with your coffee on the sofa, take your CBD oil, ok?"
Me: *calmer because he's broken down what I need to do into steps* "Okay." ☺️
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goodstimoftheday · 2 days ago
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Good Stim of the Day is: making picrews of my DnD character! I was wiggly the whole time I made them all! I'm just going to share some of my favourites here. His name is Neely Osbarrow!
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(I think I have developed a special interest in him!)
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maybeacrowdedmind · 9 hours ago
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Auctober 2022
Day 1: Stims
It wasn't until I was a little bit older that I realized what stims were. Growing up, I always just called it being fidgety, and it wasn't until I started being more accepting of myself as an autistic person that I learned it was called stimming.
My favorite stims are bouncing, flapping and shaking my hands (flappy hands are happy hands), and moving/dancing with my music. I stim a lot to music, because the rhythm of the song flows with my stim.
Also, thank you to @autiebiographical for making Auctober a thing! I love you and your work immensely. :)
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theconcealedweapon · a month ago
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What an autistic person says: "How long is it going to take?"
What they mean: "I want to know whether to activate my short term waiting mode where I just wait and do nothing else, or activate my long term waiting mode where I occupy my mind with something else. I fully understand that both are possibilities, and I have no problem whatsoever with either one, but I want more information so I can best adapt to the situation."
What neurotypical people hear: "I am impatient and demand that everything I want happen right now. Please scold me and publicly humiliate me for it."
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