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aggressivedaikons · 15 days

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my mom said i cant get a bf or gf but she never said anything abt queerplanotic partner lmao

yeah! For me having someone I can call a partner makes me feel really secure, like I have someone I can care about and rely on. I’m really uncomfortable with anything related to sex or romance, and they’re like that too. We both have really similar interests and have known each other since we were really young.

I think parents just worry a lot about physical stuff, like their kids having sex or getting gross (sorry kissing is gross to me 👀) when the teens aren’t fully mature or experienced with relationships. It’s a protective fear, I guess. But with a queerplatonic partner, it’s the same level of closeness and trust, just with less kissing and weird flirty stuff. Just a genuine tight bond :)

#queerplatonic relationship #queerplatonic #aromantic #actually aro #aroace #aromance #aromantic relationship #aromantism #arospec #aro pride #aro #aspec #aromanticism #aroacespec #actually aroace #aroace spectrum

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ace-aro-queerplatonic-positivity · 7 months

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I hate to do this, but I was advised to seek help before spiraling.

My boyfriend of 2 years came out as aroace to me and claims he wants to stay queerplatonic with me, but I've always been an "all or nothing" allo girl and don't feel comfortable at the thought of being qp.

But I don't want to:

1. Let him go, because he said that he doesn't want us to change. He said he just can't promise a future with me.

2. Come off as aphobic, or worst, BE queerplatonic-phobic.

3. Jump to drastic conclusions when I've never been in a qp relationship before.

So, I'm reaching out to ask: What do I do? Should I give up and part ways, or should I give qpr a shot? If I go with the latter, how do qprs work? How do I live in one? How do I love an aroace?

Okay, so first thing’s first: you have no need to be scared or apologise. Not to me and not ever for seeking advice from the community. That’s why the community is here. And you want to learn so you’re not aphobic or queerplatonicphobic. Aromantic relationships can be intimidating and it’s okay to be unsure. You’re not a bad person or aphobic.

First rule about queerplatonic relationships: it’s whatever the people in it want it to be. Alloromantic people can and do have QPRs. What is important is that the both of you can agree on the type of relationship you want to have, the dynamic you want to maintain with each other. A queerplatonic relationship can be whatever the people in it want it to be, doesn’t matter what it looks like to the outside world. The relationship is yours and it’s for the two of you.

With that said, if you truly can not find it in yourself to become comfortable with this shift in your relationship– no, I’ll need to interrupt myself here

Your partner coming out as aroace does not have to change anything. Like, I should’ve lead with that. Your partner coming out as aroace and wanting a queerplatonic relationship does – at face value – not require any changes besides taking what you have now and calling it queerplatonic. Slap the new label on and you’re good to go.

Okay, now, I don’t want to assume whether he might want other changes about your dynamic. If he doesn’t, you need to figure out if you’re comfortable with the new label or if that already is a hiccup. You’re continuing your relationship as is and just call it by a different name. A rose by any other name, etc etc.

Now, if you truly can not find it in yourself to be comfortable with this… let him go.

I’m kinda bad with relationship advice and already feel like I’m rambling but you reached out to me and I want to do a good job. So maybe tackling your 3rd point is the most pressing thing. Maybe you can research and learn more about what a QPR can be (e.g. that it can – among other things – be literally the exact same relationship you’re already having just called differently).

I know it sounds intimidating and “queerplatonic” is a big word and “platonic” usually forces a certain perspective. But it’s just a different coat of paint on the same thing you’ve enjoyed with him thus far. Promise.

Hell, I was okay with my ex-partners continuing to call it a romantic relationship because I felt it was on me that I couldn’t communicate clearly to them.

That’s the other big thing. Big Thing: COMMUNICATION IS KEY

Doesn’t matter romantic, queerplatonic, amical, sexual, alterous. Any relationship requires clear and open and honest communication! Ask him directly what he expects from you. Then think about that. Then tell him what you expect. Does that still match? Great. Done.

But keep your relationship a continuous dialogue. You can not be partners (romantic or queerplatonic) if you don’t communicate your needs and wants.

This is also the “how do I love an aroace”, you’ll need to ask him. Because no two aroace folks are the same. It’s probably weird but rephrase your own question: “How do I love [him]?” And either you can answer that or you need to sit down and talk to him about it anyway. As for the “he can’t promise a future”, yeah, well, could he before coming out? Not to be rude but people change, life changes, none of us really knows what tomorrow holds and while commitment is great it’s hard to promise things with certainty.

I sincerely hope I could help and lessen your worry.

Thank you for reaching out, although I hope you didn’t ask only me and i’ll accordingly tag a few blogs @aroacepositivityplace @aroace-people-are-lgtbq @simplyqueerplatonic @queerplatonicpositivity @no-thx-im-aroace

Folks, these tags are NOT a “tumblr wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope” but I am just one guy and my opinion is obviously biased so I want to help this anon best I can by bringing other people’s opinions in. So please do reboot this to give anon some nuanced opinions.

#anon ask #queerplatonic relationship #relationship talk #queerplatonic #QPR #QP relationship #safefora #safeforace #safeforaro #relationship advice #non romantic love #non romantic relationship #aromantic relationship #aro relationship

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thorns-in-daisy-fields · 3 months

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I went from someone always scolding and criticizing the way I loved, constantly making me feel like the way I loved was burdening, to someone who tells me that the way I love makes them feel like they're the center of the universe. Here's a sign that maybe you don't need to change. Maybe you just need someone who actually loves you

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moo9395 · 20 days

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Epic queer platonic love story idea but it’s not an idea it’s just a concept that my hopeless romantic(?) aro brain has forced on me.

Person A is cupioromantic.

Person B is alloromantic.

A adores B platonically and B adores A romantically but A won’t get in a relationship with B because they know they can’t love B the way B wants them to (or the way they think B wants them to). But B doesn’t care that A loves them differently because they love A and they know A loves them.

“We can’t do this, I can’t give you what you want”

“You are what I want”

And then it’s a happy ending because I love happy endings.

This is cringe but so am I so.

Someone write this but better.

It sounded better in my head but you know what I don’t care.

Maybe I’ll fix it.

(Also it’s colour coded because when characters don’t have names in something I get confused)

#aromantic #cupioromantic #qpr #i think this is a qpr #correct me if i'm wrong #never been in one sadly #love story #but not a romantic love story #because love isn’t one dimensional #also not really a story but well gloss over that #story concept #aro spectrum #aro pride #aromantic relationship #aromance #aro #alloromantic

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ask-spooky-manor · 6 months

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Jack n nat on the new chart😱

I should actually explain that lol. They’re basically platonic partners. Jack is aromantic and only likes Nat platonically while Nat has romantic feelings for Jack.

They’re not dating, they’re more like close friends who share the occasional kiss and go on the occasional date mainly cause Jack really cares for Nat and wants to do these things for her even when he personally is neutral about these actions.

And of course Nat is fully aware that her feelings are essentially not reciprocated, (Jack does love her, it’s just not romantic) but it doesn’t upset her because she very much loves what she has with Jack. Something relaxed and fun, and they both love each other’s company.

Basically they’re two asexual people chilling. Not dating yet something a little more than just friends. A comfortable in between.

#aromantic #asexual #platonic partners #aromantic relationship #of sorts #creepypasta #creepypasta fandom #eyeless jack #clockwork #natalie ouellette

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lunastationquarterly · 2 years

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Review: The Language of Roses, by Heather Rose Jones

There are many ways to fracture a fairy tale. You can move it to a different time or place. You can genderswap the characters. You can go post-modern, and make some or all of the characters genre-savvy (always a personal favorite of mine). In The Language of Roses, Heather Rose Jones takes an entirely different tactic with the story of Beauty and the Beast. She keeps the basic fact of the story,…

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#fairytale #aromantic relationship #beauty and the beast #fairy tale retellings #heather rose jones #the language of roses

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midnightcrisisstuff · 4 months

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actually no, we're not "dating". we're bound together for infinity. like the stars. so, fuck you, actually.

#queerplatonic #alterous attraction #asexual #if you find this and youre her no you didnt #aromantic #queerplatonic relationship #acearo #qpp #qpr #lgbtqia #love #transmasc #alterous yearning #alterous relationship #fuck you mum i love my girlfriend and youll have no part in it #fuck you mum #transgender

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killingmyselfbutnotdying · 3 months

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"Friends dont look at friends that way" COWARD. I look at my friends with awe in my eyes, my chest is filled with love, im glowing because i get to be near my friends. I look at my friends and i would give them my everything. SO SKILL ISSUE, look at your friends with all the love that you have

#i hate this phrase with burning passion #platonic love #platonic #platonic relationships #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #amatonormativity my beloathed #there are multiple songs i dont listen to bc they have this phrase in it

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redysetdare · 3 months

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Sometimes...characters being in a romantic relationship is worse.

#text #sometimes it's the most boring way to have characters interact #sometimes it's worse than the chemistry they have as literally any other kind of relationship #sometimes their platonic dynamic is better #sometimes their hostile dynamic is better #sometimes their dynamic is better if it's anything other than romance #because maybe them falling into generic romance is how you ruin their characters.#aro #aromantic #aroace #i only tag these because it feels relevant to why i feel this way

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aggressivedaikons · 15 days

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I drew me 🧡 and my partner 💜 bc I was having a moment. I love them <3

#Yes we are davesport colors but like it’s Callie and nyx omg smh 🙄 /silly #Aromantic #aroace #queerp #queerplatonic #aromantic relationship #queerplatonic relationship

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ace-aro-queerplatonic-positivity · 5 months

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The Multiamory Podcast did an Episode (Ep.438) discussing the intersection of polyamory and aromanticism.

Explicitly polyamorous/ polyaffectionate aromantics, not asexuals!

You are all welcome to chip in/ add on through reblogs and tags and commentary!

The relevant Facebook announcement got shared into a group I happen to be in and as I commented, thanking the person for sharing it seeing as the group wasn’t aro-related at all, I got politely asked to explain how polyamory works for me as an aromantic asexual.

Keep in mind this explanation was targeted for an audience/ readership of allo-allo polyamorous people.

Also: CONTENT WARNING ⚠️

Internalised acephobia, self-depreciation, implication of sexualised abuse, mention of faithfulness

So the first thing I always say is that: disclaimer – obviously I can only talk about my personal perspective and aromantic people are very diverse, asexual people are very diverse

I just happen to be an asexual aromantic, whereas many aromantics are allosexual (meaning any sexual orientation that isn’t asexuality); seeing as this post is explicitly about the intersection of aromanticism and polyamory

I personally want a queerplatonic/ alterous life partner

That’s my personal wish, I want someone to share my life with

I consider myself polyaffectionate, seeing as I’m not “amorous” in any way shape or form

To me this means a few things

1) I practice relationship anarchy – I do not place a romantic relationship on some arbitrary pedestal, every relationship is important to me and that relationship looking like romance doesn’t mean much

For the other things I need to explain about myself first

I am a sex-averse asexual. I have had sex. I didn’t like it. I am generally sex-positive but I don’t necessarily want/ seek sex as part of any committed relationship; rather I’d avoid sex

(This following bit is self-depreciation but) Because of that I think I shouldn’t “tie down” any partner. Someone willing to be with me shouldn’t suffer for it and hence I don’t see a point in being possessive/ demanding sexual faithfulness – although the details would need to depend on the partner(s) and situation

Also due to me not making a grave distinction between “best friend” and “date friend” I just think it’s easier to call myself polyaffectionate since relationships involving me need thorough explanation anyway

I have explored through writing* what I’d like for myself and that basically always ends up that I’d like to be comfortable “sharing” my partner with pre-determined other people

I would only agree to a closed polycule, although I don’t need to be involved with everyone in it

Also I always hoped if I get that, if I get to have a queerplatonic polycule, it could be a found family and support network more than dating in the classical sense

Again, keep in mind all of this is just my personal perspective and I don’t speak for other aromantic people or other asexual people

Many asexuals are fine with/ want sex

Some aromantics are non-partnering/ would only practice solo-poly

My ideal relationship would be having one or two partners I live with, who are my family, who I can cuddle or leave to their own devices, basically a house share and we each cuddle and kiss each other as we please 🙈

—The thing is I’m aware I probably talk like someone who doesn’t value themself enough

Like, if I believed I could be enough for a partner my whole stance would be slightly different

But I have not yet made the experience that what I can offer (a sexless, queerplatonic commitment) is enough for people

I’m fully aware that mindset isn’t healthy but until someone proves I can be enough for them, well… “outsourcing” sex is easier than worrying

And if it’s a genuine relationship I’m happy for them, in any case

I wholeheartedly mean that I’d like a closed polycule and would be comfortable as described

But I also acknowledge that part of it comes from feeling inadequate/ not wanting to hold back the person(s) I love

I just know I can’t provide what – to many people – is a need

And since I know I can love more than one person at the same time I think getting to be with someone who also has other partners is my best chance… if that makes sense

As I said, I write a lot and with my latest novel-attempt* I think I found the relationship model I’d be comfortable with 🙈

* I have indeed written multiple fan fictions as well as original fiction about a self-insert character navigating relationships as I would like them to play out (setting aside the overarching plot of the individual fiction works) but seeing as I’m a pro-shipper and actually do have a writing side-blog, I don’t feel all that comfortable to just straight-up link my own writing here. Due to the here relevant works all featuring central relationships with a self-insert character, these works are also deeply personal. More so than other ship fiction I have written. I have linked these works on here before - as part of “#queerplatonic fiction” lists - but never really put “my name” (this blog’s URL) directly to them

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thorns-in-daisy-fields · 8 months

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I'm not sure if anyone else needs to hear this, but I do, so here it goes.

Someone who "has feelings for you," to any capacity, will not lose them because you had to take time to tend to yourself, life, or whatever it is that's important enough for you to need space to take care of. They're feeding off of your energy and attention.

Someone who "has feelings for you," to any capacity will not put you down and make you feel like you're nothing, least of all, think it's ok for any goddamn reason to do so. I don't care what you did. I don't care how upset they were. If they treat you like you're nothing, it's been over for a while. They're putting you down so they can continue to have access to your energy and attention without putting in the effort to deserve it.

And lastly, someone who has "feelings for you," will not make you feel like they don't care, and they absolutely will not tell you they don't care, nor will they guilt trip you for it, make it your fault, or make it out to be like that's normal or ok. They do not love you, and they're using you for easy access to your energy and attention.

I promise you, they are not just "different." They're not just "going through it." It's not "going to get better." There's nothing you can do to "fix it." This person doesn't love you, and it's time to let go. You have value as a person and I promise you, it'll feel better to be alone than to continue taking this person's emotional abuse while you make excuses for them and tell yourself it's ok and going to get better. They will be just fine. You will be better than just fine. Let them find themselves a new host to leach off of.

#relationships #relationship #dating #writeblr #love #aromantic #aromantic relationship #alterous relationship #writers on tumblr #writing #mental health #abuse #abusive relationship

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glitchedcosmos · 3 months

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Characters dynamic that’s like “ they’re not in a romantic relationship but they definitely love each other with all their heart and fucking soul”

#the dynamic we love #i breathe this shit #yes the is qpr #looking at you sonadow #aroace #aromantic #asexual #ace spec #aro spec #aromantic spectrum #asexual spectrum #qpr #queerplatonic relationship #qpr things #character dynamics

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just-trying-my-best-everyday · 2 months

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"Aro/ace people can still date" is a statement about aro and ace people being able to do whatever they want with their lives, NOT an excuse to ignore a character's aromanticism and/or asexuality so you can ship them.

#coward put them in a queerplatonic relationship #if you DARE #asexual #aromantic #aroace #lgbtq

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elsa-fogen · 9 days

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Who cooks better

another silly joke with them

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teleportzz · 7 months

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hey guys do the allos know that they can have qprs too? like do they know that being alloromantic doesn't mean they can't choose to be in a qpr anyway? because qprs aren't "romance-lite" for aros, they're an entirely separate kind of relationship that anyone can have. you can do this with fictional characters too. you can put characters that aren't aroace or are even canonically dating in qprs with each other just because you think that would be a cool way to play with their dynamic. it's actually very cool and you totally should.

#i don't think they know this guys #we should tell them #milo talks sometimes #aromantic #arospec #aroace #alloromantic #qpr pride #qpr positivity #qpr stuff #qpr #queerplatonic #queer community #queer #alterous relationship #alterous attraction

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