"Friends dont look at friends that way" COWARD. I look at my friends with awe in my eyes, my chest is filled with love, im glowing because i get to be near my friends. I look at my friends and i would give them my everything. SO SKILL ISSUE, look at your friends with all the love that you have

aro (and possibly ace) culture is growing up in a world so perfuse with the idea that love = romance that you struggle to feel loved. even though you know that platonic love can be just as (or more) intimate than romantic love, it’s hard to see a future where anyone would be willing to give that to you. and sometimes you’re scared that you’re always going to be alone.

.

HEARTBREAKING:

When I talk about library being a giant policule: most relationships in the library evoke the image of being fluid between friendships, qprs, romantic relationships and secret fourth things, in the way that is more like a polyamorous relationship anarchy

How it sounds to people who have no idea about polyamory and relationship anarchy: AND THEY ALL FUCK EACH OTHER

if the toh wiki is going to list willow as hunter's "love interest" (citation needed) then theyd better list luz as his "sister" (citation needed) as well

fuck amatonormativity

It also doesn’t help that I cannot barely tell types attraction and normal feelings apart. I feel generally excited to hug my friend and then panic and worry I have a crush on them

undoing internalized amatonormativity (holy shit big words im so smart) is very difficult bc its so ingrained in us that if u feel close to someone it Must Be Romantic and society says that there if u feel warm and fuzzy around someone u Must Be In (Romantic) Love which doesnt take into account that u absolutely can like ur friends?? u can be close to ur friends without considering ur relationship to be romantic! its like ppl point at what they say is an obvious line between Romance and Just Friends but the "line" is just a random stick that fell on the sidewalk

demiromanticism & demisexuality being treated by fandom as amatonormative romance trope my beloathed.

at your tags on that one post: YES! hanahaki my beloathed! like it's such an amatonormative trope because platonic love is not "enough" to get rid of it. and then like, it's such an uncomfortable situation like "love me back or i'll Die and you'll be stuck with that" and it's portrayed as cute and fluffy rather than horrifying??? and some versions of the au have like a "it can be cured surgically but that also removes your romantic feelings for that person" which kinda removes some of the issues but then it's like. the characters choose to continue suffering through a life-threatening illness because the idea of not having romantic feelings is that horrifying to them? what amatonormativity does to a mf. (sorry for excessively long rant i'm just hype because ayyy same hat)

Yeah. And also how the demonization of not feeling romantic love and being considered worst than a life threatening illness is pretty nasty

Like, i love the concept of certain feelings making you cough up flowers if theyre not dealt with/understood/etc, its just the "YOU HAVE TO CONFESS YOUR ROMANTIC ATTRACTION" that sucks a lot. I like just having it as a way to confront and process bottled stuff

Thanks for you answer about shipping!

Amatonormativity my beloathed </3 Thinking about it a bit more, I realize that the few shipping fics I remember enjoying (when I wasn't looking for straight up smut lol) were focused on the characters helping each other through their personal issues... or behaving as close friends in funny situations, except with more teasing xD

(Oh, I try so hard to block every tag that doesn't spark joy. Unfortunately, those posts often find their way to me anyway </3)

Venting is fine? Thanks! I'll try not to be too negative anyway ':) I usually just hold my tongue because God forbid I disagree on things or metaphorically rain on other people's parades. I don't want to bring negativity but I also would like not to feel like it's just me, or that I'm not allowed to express my dislike of shipping. It would've been much easier if I didn't dislike it, but here I am

There's a reason why I'm here under the Anon hood lol

I understand the reluctance but frankly if anyone gets mad at you because you don't ship the problem is theirs, not yours. You're not telling them what to do nor judging them, you're expressing your own opinions. But I get why you do it, some people on here get a little vicious when it comes to certain topics, I've seen the death threats.

I have never shipped, not with Marvel not with any other piece of media. I simply don't find the joy or entertainment value in it so I have a lot of ship tags blocked (only a few allowed because they don't bother me at all), it really is that simple. It is a shame though when the tags for certain characters is 98% shipping posts and nothing else. Most people say "then write posts yourself!" and sure, they're right but damn... it's a bit disheartening.

There's also the fact that I think you and I agree on (correct me if I'm wrong tho!) that if we have to choose between romance or platonic, we go for the latter. I sure do, I find it a lot more interesting and relatable, so shipping kind of goes a path I'm not a fan of.

Anyhow. Inbox is always open and the house rules are Christian Kane's 😜🍻

I tried to not get upset bcuz I talked w you about my aromanticism a few times only for you to ask me what romantic attraction feels like and I just 🧍‍♂️,,, yeah.

But then I realized you probably just forgot FJFNFK but yea I experience queerplatonic attraction. No romantic attraction

Yeah I'm sorry about that, I forgot :( my memory is shit

That's my bad for assuming when you said "lovesickness" you were referring to romantic feelings, sorry. Amatonormativity beloathed

aro culture is being in awe of the absolute gall of allo people complaining about "being lonely" when they have friends but no romantic partner. like i know i should probably be more sympathetic and try to understand but i don't!!! and honestly i don't really want to be sympathetic i'm tired!!! if people care about you why do you have anything to complain about? do people really wanna kiss each other that badly??

.

Bi culture is having no friends because everyone thinks you'll fall in love with them.

*me about to read the Lais of Marie de France* oh fun! we get to read stories for seminar this week!

*immediately gets slapped in the face by Amatonormativity(tm) in the very first story*

Amatanormativity my beloathed. It really is the worst. -nickel

Hey Nickel!

I didn’t know there was a word for it but I I sure am familiar with it as a concept 🙃

I’m happy for people that are happy being in relationships and having kids, but it would be nice if they could be happy for me being happy without those things, rather than think (and say to my face) “there’s something wrong with you”

Transcription: Amatonormativity is the assumption that the traditional views of romantic relationships: a monogamous relationship where the parties are married, live together, and have children together in a nuclear household, is the highest form of satisfaction one can achieve in life, and that all people strive for this type of relationship. This way of thinking can be harmful to polyamorous people who may not have or desire a single partner, and to a-spec people, who might not want a relationship like that, or may have a strong, meaningful relationship that is not romantic in nature.

I had a dream that turned into nightmare where, in canon (but it was like a regular anime show and everyone was just characters. no CCs), Tommy died and Tubbo was supposed to kill Wilbur to bring him back?

So they (some charers I don’t remember I think it could have been Eret and/or Niki Jack Sam) got him knocked out because he had been really angry and violent since Tommy died, in a crazy laughing and apathetic but definitely about to snap way. So everyone was sleeping and they’d put him in jail in case he tried to escape or hurt them. Tubbo snuck in, he was about to kill him in his sleep but then we got flashback scenes of Wilbur being like family to Tubbo along with Tommy and showing the trio caring for each other. Both how much Tommy would hate Tubbo for this and how much Wilbur and Tubbo had actually been friends themselves. Tubbo ended up dropping the knife and looking horrified with himself and couldn’t kill him.

Later in the morning after everyone was confronting Wilbur he snuck in to speak on his own. He ended up hugged him and Wit shocked Wilbur enough they talked about Tommy. Turns out Wilbur blamed Tubbo but he knew it wasn’t his fault and that it wasn’t fair but he didn’t care. He blamed him even if he didn’t hate him. Then Tubbo surprised him by forgiving him. Tubbo promised he’d help Wilbur get better and that he’d get better too and they said they loved each other. It was a really intense scene, I remember really liking it especially because of the contrast between Wilbur’s sudden worn down-ness after being so intense and Tubbos sudden break down of emotion after being dull for so long. And because how it clearly didn’t resolve and wouldn’t backtrack/erase anything but was a solid start to change.

and then (in the fandom) tubbo x Wilbur became a really big ship.

I remember scrolling past a comic of the scene but they made it clear the flashbacks held romantic laces and a call out post about how it wasn’t wrong because “it’s not weird to date your best friends older siblings” like THAT was the issue... there was just so much of it. It was like one of those things that everyone assumes is canon and you get hate for not liking it because it’s “so obvious.” I think there were a few claims of queer baiting even though the actual show held zero even remotely romantic implications.

I was so disgusted at the... idk if I know the right word for it. Amatonormativity? allonormativity? I was so disgusted at just the audacity of the interpretation and it’s popularity I woke up.

ugh. straight dsmp my beloathed.