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ace-aro-queerplatonic-positivity · 5 months

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The Multiamory Podcast did an Episode (Ep.438) discussing the intersection of polyamory and aromanticism.

Explicitly polyamorous/ polyaffectionate aromantics, not asexuals!

You are all welcome to chip in/ add on through reblogs and tags and commentary!

The relevant Facebook announcement got shared into a group I happen to be in and as I commented, thanking the person for sharing it seeing as the group wasn’t aro-related at all, I got politely asked to explain how polyamory works for me as an aromantic asexual.

Keep in mind this explanation was targeted for an audience/ readership of allo-allo polyamorous people.

Also: CONTENT WARNING ⚠️

Internalised acephobia, self-depreciation, implication of sexualised abuse, mention of faithfulness

So the first thing I always say is that: disclaimer – obviously I can only talk about my personal perspective and aromantic people are very diverse, asexual people are very diverse

I just happen to be an asexual aromantic, whereas many aromantics are allosexual (meaning any sexual orientation that isn’t asexuality); seeing as this post is explicitly about the intersection of aromanticism and polyamory

I personally want a queerplatonic/ alterous life partner

That’s my personal wish, I want someone to share my life with

I consider myself polyaffectionate, seeing as I’m not “amorous” in any way shape or form

To me this means a few things

1) I practice relationship anarchy – I do not place a romantic relationship on some arbitrary pedestal, every relationship is important to me and that relationship looking like romance doesn’t mean much

For the other things I need to explain about myself first

I am a sex-averse asexual. I have had sex. I didn’t like it. I am generally sex-positive but I don’t necessarily want/ seek sex as part of any committed relationship; rather I’d avoid sex

(This following bit is self-depreciation but) Because of that I think I shouldn’t “tie down” any partner. Someone willing to be with me shouldn’t suffer for it and hence I don’t see a point in being possessive/ demanding sexual faithfulness – although the details would need to depend on the partner(s) and situation

Also due to me not making a grave distinction between “best friend” and “date friend” I just think it’s easier to call myself polyaffectionate since relationships involving me need thorough explanation anyway

I have explored through writing* what I’d like for myself and that basically always ends up that I’d like to be comfortable “sharing” my partner with pre-determined other people

I would only agree to a closed polycule, although I don’t need to be involved with everyone in it

Also I always hoped if I get that, if I get to have a queerplatonic polycule, it could be a found family and support network more than dating in the classical sense

Again, keep in mind all of this is just my personal perspective and I don’t speak for other aromantic people or other asexual people

Many asexuals are fine with/ want sex

Some aromantics are non-partnering/ would only practice solo-poly

My ideal relationship would be having one or two partners I live with, who are my family, who I can cuddle or leave to their own devices, basically a house share and we each cuddle and kiss each other as we please 🙈

—The thing is I’m aware I probably talk like someone who doesn’t value themself enough

Like, if I believed I could be enough for a partner my whole stance would be slightly different

But I have not yet made the experience that what I can offer (a sexless, queerplatonic commitment) is enough for people

I’m fully aware that mindset isn’t healthy but until someone proves I can be enough for them, well… “outsourcing” sex is easier than worrying

And if it’s a genuine relationship I’m happy for them, in any case

I wholeheartedly mean that I’d like a closed polycule and would be comfortable as described

But I also acknowledge that part of it comes from feeling inadequate/ not wanting to hold back the person(s) I love

I just know I can’t provide what – to many people – is a need

And since I know I can love more than one person at the same time I think getting to be with someone who also has other partners is my best chance… if that makes sense

As I said, I write a lot and with my latest novel-attempt* I think I found the relationship model I’d be comfortable with 🙈

* I have indeed written multiple fan fictions as well as original fiction about a self-insert character navigating relationships as I would like them to play out (setting aside the overarching plot of the individual fiction works) but seeing as I’m a pro-shipper and actually do have a writing side-blog, I don’t feel all that comfortable to just straight-up link my own writing here. Due to the here relevant works all featuring central relationships with a self-insert character, these works are also deeply personal. More so than other ship fiction I have written. I have linked these works on here before - as part of “#queerplatonic fiction” lists - but never really put “my name” (this blog’s URL) directly to them

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papier-ciseaux · 2 months

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Happy ASAW 2024, here's something about community !

#aromantic #aro #asaw #asaw 2024 #aromantic spectrum #aromantic spectrum awareness week #aro spec awareness week #arospec #queer community #polyamory #bi #pan #asexual #ace #lgbtq #lgbtqia #LBArt #i simplified things a lot

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positively-bi · 10 months

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Inspired by the brief period of time I thought I was polyamorous because I felt the same way about my boyfriend as I did my best friends and I hadn't clocked yet that all of those feelings were platonic

#I was just like “maybe I have a crush on all of my friends”#and not “maybe I don't have a crush on my boyfriend” lol #aromantic #aro #aromantic pride #aro pride #polyamory #polyamorous #polyam #lgbt #lgbtq #pride #lgbt+#lgbt pride #lgbt funny

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zephyr-heart · 2 years

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I love you QPRs, I love you polyamory, I love you relationship anarchy, I love you aromantics with partners, I love you people who don’t want relationships, I love you I admire you loveless community, I love you ignoring amatonormativity <3

#if you don’t know what something means I probably have a definition in my pinned post #queerplatonic #polyamory #relationship anarchy #loveless #loveless aro #aromantic #amatonormativity #aro 🤝 poly

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jelly-o630 · 6 months

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I think one of the most insane things about being aro/ace is that because questioning amatonormativity is such a common part of this sexuality, I will happily read up on and accept ideas of relationship anarchy. Which makes the community that I’ve found most adjacent to the aro/ace community has been, of all people, the polyamorous crowd. At first glance you’d think we’d have nothing in common but oh my god polyamorous people are just the greatest. It’s like we’re on exact opposite ends of the same wavelength- same thesis, widely different conclusions

#asexual #aromantic #aroace #polyamory #relationship anarchy #aro #ace #pride #lgbt #💜🖤🤍💚#asexuality #aromantism #arospec #aspec

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switchbit · 10 months

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this years queer deers, happy pride y'all!

#switchart #switchbit #deer #digital art #pride #genderfluid #demisex #demisexual #aro #aromantic #maverique #poly #polyamory #polyamorous #twink #bear #leather

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incognitopolls · 4 months

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We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

#polls #incognito polls #anonymous #tumblr polls #tumblr users #questions #aromantic #aro #aroace #arospec #aspec #asexual #ace #acespec #polyamory #polyam #polyamorous #polls about relationships #polls about lgbtq stuff

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fragrant-stars · 11 months

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You know what happy pride to the detransitioners who still identify in some way or other as "not cishet".

Happy pride to he/him lesbians, boygirls, and other people with ""contradictory"" identities.

Happy pride to aroace people, bi people and polyamorous people, along with everyone else the panderers and gatekeepers try to alienate from the community.

Happy pride to all the closeted and questioning people out there.

You're loved, you matter, and you belong, whoever you are.

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jay-aro · 5 months

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god i love aromantic polyamory

#jay talks #post plagiarized from my qpp 💚#(one of them. new qpp dropped also)#aromantic #polyamory #polyamourous #aro

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jellyfishmakeoutparty · 2 years

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I love you relationship anarchy I love you polyamory I love you queerplatonic relationships I love you unlabeled relationships I love you deep platonic relationships that define themselves I love you deep romantic relationships that define themselves I love you any relationship that defines itself I love you people who love completely and comfortably I love you people learning how to love however comfortable for them I love people I love love

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polyamorousmood · 6 months

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Okay so I'm super aro but also shaking hands with polyam people like YES technically in a way they're opposites (lack of romo love vs multiple romo loves) but like! We're all vibing in a denying ananormanitvity in our own ways! I adore y'all!!

Also shakes this blog around like a rag doll /affectionate positive etc

- Loveless aro who stares at your blog from time to time but has to stop because I smile to the point of my face being sore + WAYYY too emotional and cries sometimes aahzgzhs- In a good way to be clear!!

Also very less important thing but holds polyam ships very gently they're all so neat aough shakes them around /affectionate

YESSSSSS!

We are siblings-in-arms 🤝, we are friends🫂, we are partners in crime🦹, we are locking eyes and giving each other a single firm nod of understanding and comradery, we are allies fighting literally the same fight⚔️.

My rights to choose the family I want is the same as your right to choose the family you want. The more we say "any relationship can be as important as --or more important than!-- romance" the sillier it becomes to champion a single romantic connection as one's life purpose.

Our fates and our fingers are twined, my aro friend. We will lift the other up when one stumbles, and we trek to the brighter world together. 🫴 Take my hand

#aro/ace #aromantic #polyamory #amatonormativity #ask box is always open #I love you in whatever way is most comfortable for you sweet asker. We will hold hands so tightly no one can possibly Red Rover us apart

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finallyhauntings · 3 months

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rare main blog original post incoming

I am very violently Not Aromantic but there's been a lot of aro posting on my dash over the last couple months (because of that dumbass exclusionist poll) and I'm kinda coming to the conclusion that like, as someone who is as far from aro as physically possible, I still kinda fuck with the energy/idea of aromanticism. like I am so violently filled with romantic all of the time, but also I think aromantics have the Absolute right idea about love in that I love everyone all the time and even though I only learned the word amatonormativity recently I've been so angry at it since I was a very young child because everyone should be allowed to love and kiss and generally give affection to their friends without it being seen as strange. I want to kiss my best friends on the mouth without people thinking I'm romantically in love with them

anyway hello aromantic community I love you so much and am giving you as much affection as you are comfortable with thank you for giving me new words that make things I think about as well make sense

#aromantic #arospec #aromantism #aro pride #i don't go here but I understand you as much as someone who isn't aro can I think #polyamory 🤝 aromanticism I think

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lyynpop · 2 years

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once again here to appreciate the a-spec/polyamorous solidarity. absolutely adore our collective middle finger to amanormativity and toxic monogamy it's so sexy and cool of us

#me and my bestie living proof of this bond #aromantic #aro #asexual #aroace #ace #polyamory #polyamourous #aspec #a spec #relationship anarchy #nonmonogamy #non monogomous

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ziptie-bouquet · 11 months

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I hate that people view polyamory and aromanticism as completely opposed things. We surprisingly have so much in common:

We deconstruct amatonormativity from different perspectives that are both very enriching.

We suffer from laws and advantages given only to mono married couples, and that aren't granted to us too.

And also:

Polyam aros exist!

There is so much erasure regarding polyam/ace/aro people within the queer community, and something that everybody disregards is the different meaning relationships can have for aros and how that mingles well with polyamory.

Obviously, I'm not saying that every aro is polyam, but the strict and restricted understanding of relationships by people outside of those circles masks the reality of people who are both!

Aroallos exist and can engage with multiple sexual partners at a time. People can love in more ways than friendships or romance, that's why we have QPRs or terms like alterous or exteramo attractions. The aro spectrum is very vast, and there are a lot of different experiences that can make people identify as aro and polyam. Our definition of relationships, even with just platonic attraction, can be incompatible with traditional mono romantic relationships, too. There are so many possibilities and so much close mindedness around it.

Just keep an open mind if you're not concerned by this. Remember to include us at pride. We're queer and fight with you against heteronormativity!

#aro #aromantic #aromanticism #lgbtqia+#arospec #lgbtq #lgbt #polyam #polyamourous #polyamory #alloaro #aroallo

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g-rillazxx · 10 months

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YOU CANT TAKE AWAY WHAT WE WERE BORN WITH.

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dramatic-delirium · 7 days

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WHY IS GOOD ART MOSTLY SHIP ART AND EROTICA ART WHY CANT YOU JUST DRAW THEM AS FRIENDS AND MAKE IT BEUATIFUL

#peak aro ace moment #i just don't like ships that much... i mean you can do whatever you want of fictional thing #but also I'll take your fictional thing and make it platonic too #also friends can fuck!#and polyamory exists!#I'm looking at you fanfic ers #aro #ace #aroace #fanfic #fanart

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