oh no… diagnosis is loneliness… my heart is breaking… i need a non-dating dating app to find aroace people in my area NOW STAT

tldr; i don't like how even within the aspec community we still associate validity/humanity with ability to feel love

i love being part of the aspec community for the most part . but one thing that always frustrates me is how we tend to throw each other under the bus when trying to claim that our lack of attraction is valid,,

like. a common sentiments i see are "aces are valid cause we still feel romantic love :D we aren't heartless!!" or "aros are valid cause we still feel platonic love :D we aren't heartless !!" and i understand where they come from but it frustrates the hell out of me! for 2 reasons:

1) why do we have to defend our humanity!! what the hell!! terfs aren't gonna see this and be like "oh yeah that makes sense i respect aspec people now !" they're gonna scroll past!! or worse, argue it!! who are you trying to convince!!!

2) why. do we tie our humanity to love..?? like. yayy positivity but why are we excluding ppl from our own damn community???? ive seen SO many posts that wholly exclude me & many others bc apparently love makes people human. like even if it's temporary & even if it's not, loveless / aplatonic people are valid!!

sorry for the rant & i understand that ppl just want to spread positivity but i don't think we should do it by excluding others ^_^

"aros and aces can still love and have sex!" yeah but do you really mean that? can you accept the fact that some aroaces don’t want sex and dont do romance? or do you just want to use that as an excuse when you want two people to date despite one or both of them being actively repulsed by romance, or when you want two people to have sex despite one or both of them being actively sex repulsed? are you only saying that for your own benefit?

"that's not very aromantic of you" "that's not very asexual of you" WELL that's not very minding your own business of you

"if you tell all your friends you love them all the time, then the word love becomes meaningless" well for one yeah i sure hope it does, and for two, if hearing me tell you i love you every day becomes meaningless to you because i say it too often, then you don't believe my love is valuable and also skill issue

Aroace in a way that’s inseparable from relationship anarchy. Aroace in a “getting rid of the legal institution of marriage” way. Aroace in a “romantic/sexual attraction is irrelevant to me in the first place because I actively choose to deprioritize the romantic/sexual/nuclear family ideal of relationships in my life” way.

"i support aroace people!" "aroace people are queer!" How would you react if i told you that i'm aroace but non-partnering, even qpr are a big no, answer quickly.

Just told my friend we had a squish on her, but it wasn't a crush because we're aroace and she was like. "Cool, and same on both fronts"

I'm so fucking happy y'all, is this what the allos feel when someone else reciprocates a crush? Cause this is fucking awesome.

Friendly reminder: even if to you the idea of living without a partner seems sad and lonely, if someone tells you they don't want a romantic or sexual partner, it's not a sad thing. It's a beautiful thing - it means they're living the life that will make them happy rather than abiding by societal expectations.

Ok does anyone else constantly hear that “A girl and a guy can’t just be friends one of them is going to catch feelings at some point.” Because I hear it all the time and that can’t possibly be true because that would mean that every single one of my guy friends has had a crush on me. Because I can tell you I did not have a crush on them, I’ve never had a crush on anyone I’m aroace

My (recently married, alloro ace) friend sent me this article tonight. I highly encourage everyone to read it, especially aspecs and people who are otherwise nonpartnering or sexual minorities. The women featured in this piece are awesome and so is their community-organizing game (which is why anarchists and people interested in mutual aid should read this too).

I reiterate: aromantic+asexual liberation and women's liberation are inescapably intertwined.

I hope everything these Korean women are doing takes off and expands to other communities and continents, because I cannot WAIT to join a No-Marriage Women's club.

Me and the girls destroying marriage and the nuclear family: 🎉🍾🪓🔥🎆🔪🎊🎇🪓🥂🔪🔥🎉

Just realized something:

The only reason I‘ve been wanting a romantic relationship (without having a romantic relationship), is because I just want to be someones most important person.

As an autistic aro, it can be very alienating when all of my friends are in romantic relationships. I don‘t understand why they want to cancel seeing me (after a few months of no contact) because they want to meet their partner (that they‘ve been with for a week straight)

No matter how tight I feel like my relationship is with someone, as soon as they fall in love, I feel like air.

I want someone to feel that way for me, without actually having to see each other all the time, without kissing and hand holding and all that jazz.

I think what I need is a dog.

Thanks for listening to my ramble

one of my biggest fears is being forgotten when your friends get romantic partners.

I feel a lot more connected with my aromantic label than I do my asexual label

not sure if it's cause I like the aro flag more (I love green so much) or if it's because I feel the romance aspect comes up a lot more than the sex

just wondering if anyone else feels this way with their labels

i just watched 'Fandom can't handle asexuality' by misty sparkles (great video 100% recommend watching, has great points and is super funny) and I would just like to solemnly announce that, as an aro ace person,

FANDOM PURITANS CANNOT AND SHOULD NOT STOP YOU FROM HAVING FUN

If you want to write a fanfiction where an ace character is passionately fucking another character because you'd want to explore their dynamic, DO IT

If you want to make art of an aro character being in a romantic relationship with another character, DO IT

the fandom puritans might say "This is offensive to ace/aro people" No. No it isn't. As an aroace person who has absolutely no desire to be in a romantic or sexual relationship, I give you full permission to do whatever the fuck you want with aro and/or ace characters (just be respectful of course)

Just please acknowledge that they are aro and/or ace in canon, you don't even have to include it in your work just have a little note saying that it's just fanwork and that you don't think the character should actually get with anybody in canon. That is showing much more respect to aros and aces than those allos who make an aroace character greyro or greyace just to ship them and then complettly ignore that part of their character because they just didn't want to feel any guilt about shipping them. That's arguably much more aphobic