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midnightcrisisstuff · 4 months

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actually no, we're not "dating". we're bound together for infinity. like the stars. so, fuck you, actually.

#queerplatonic #alterous attraction #asexual #if you find this and youre her no you didnt #aromantic #queerplatonic relationship #acearo #qpp #qpr #lgbtqia #love #transmasc #alterous yearning #alterous relationship #fuck you mum i love my girlfriend and youll have no part in it #fuck you mum #transgender

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teleportzz · 7 months

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hey guys do the allos know that they can have qprs too? like do they know that being alloromantic doesn't mean they can't choose to be in a qpr anyway? because qprs aren't "romance-lite" for aros, they're an entirely separate kind of relationship that anyone can have. you can do this with fictional characters too. you can put characters that aren't aroace or are even canonically dating in qprs with each other just because you think that would be a cool way to play with their dynamic. it's actually very cool and you totally should.

#i don't think they know this guys #we should tell them #milo talks sometimes #aromantic #arospec #aroace #alloromantic #qpr pride #qpr positivity #qpr stuff #qpr #queerplatonic #queer community #queer #alterous relationship #alterous attraction

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wishfularoace · 1 year

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does anyone want to be best friends that also live together and go on adventures together but like mundane adventures like ikea and target and also wants to lay our heads on each others shoulders when sleepy but also have separate bedrooms but also enjoy spending most of our free time together……. just me? ok

#aroace #qpr #queerplatonic #asexual #ace #aromantic #aro #greyromantic #queerplatonic relationship #alterous aroace #alterous yearning #alterous attraction #best friend #grace is dramatic #someday with someone unknown

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antikosm · 4 months

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Aro/Ace Terms Masterlist

Please let me know if I forgot anything

NOTE: There is a distinct difference between someone's personal orientation versus how they feel about sexuality/romanticism as a whole. Someone who's sex/romance repulsed may be in favour of open sexual/romantic expression or even vice versa (shoutout to @sowearecleariamhere for informing me of this!)

Types of attraction

Sexual - I wanna have sex with that

Romantic - I want to date that

Sensual - I want to hug that

Platonic - I want to be friends with that

Platonic crushes do exist. They are called “squishes”. You go through the same process of having a romantic or sexual crush but instead of landing them in bed, you’re on the floor at 2am with pizza rolls, Shrek in the background, talking about eldritch monstrosities (or whatever your shared interest is)

Aesthetic - that looks so heckin’ cool/pretty I love it

Intellectual - the desire to engage with another in an intellectual manner, i.e. having a conversation, picking their brain, and finding out how they think

Terms describing degree of attraction

Aromantic - lack of romantic attraction

Asexual - lack of sexual attraction

Aplatonic - lack of platonic attraction

Aroace - lack of both sexual and romantic attraction

Demi - attraction only forms once a strong emotional bond has been formed

Grey/gray - rarely/seldom experiences attraction

Allosexual - someone who experiences sexual attraction

I think I’ve also heard/seen it referred to as ‘arosexual’ but that’s honestly a bit confusing

Alloromantic - someone who experiences romantic attraction

I personally shorten both of those to “allo” (pronounced ‘aloe’)

Apothiosexual - sex-repulsed

Apothioromantic - romance-repulsed

Apothiaroace - often shortened to just ‘apothi’. In addition to being aroace, apothis are repulsed by romantic/sexual scenes, items, displays, etc. to varying degrees

Sex-neutral and sex-positive/favourable aces exist as well

Not all of us have the same level of comfort with sexual and romantic activities so please check. I mean that applies to everyone anyway, but please check and don’t assume that just because someone is aro/ace, that doesn’t mean they are sex/romance repulsed

Queerplatonic - Queerplatonic typically refers to a relationship that bends the lines between a romantic relationship and a non-romantic relationship. A queerplatonic relationship (QPR) often goes beyond what is socially acceptable for a platonic relationship but does not fit the typical notion of a romantic relationship.

Alterous attraction - a type of emotional attraction to someone that isn’t entirely romantic or platonic.

Chastity - actively refraining from sexual activities. This is NOT part of the ace/aro spectrum, though it is a common assumption when someone says they are ace/aro. Thankfully we’re getting a bit more representation in media now so it’s not as common of an assumption as it used to be, but it’s still there, especially in those communities.

An absolute FANTASTIC addition by @heyftinally in case anyone doesn't see the repost

Gonna expand on sex favorable/neutral/repulsed, since this is a masterlist after all: - Sex favorable - regardless of your sexual orientation, you personally want to engage in sexual activity with someone (significant other, one night stand, friends with benefits, etc) - Sex neutral - if you're with someone who wants to engage in sexual activities then you may or may not, depending on a variety of factors, but you have no strong inclinations for or against engaging in sex itself as an activity. Basically it's "alright" Sex repulsed/averse - the idea of personally engaging in sexual activities makes you want to hurl/cry/claw your skin off/spontaneously combust. If someone suggested doing sexual activities together, you would probably vehemently say "No!" before they even finished the question. You would rather do anything else - Sex positive - refers to your attitudes about sex in general. Regardless of where you fall in the above three terms, you recognize that other people want to, and should have the freedom and right to, engage in consensual sexual activities, even if you personally don't like or want those activities. Essentially shorthand for "I respect the right of other adults to have gay sex, have gender-weird sex, have sex with multiple people in and out of monogamous relationships/marriages, and have weird, wild, freaky kinky sex, so long as all participants and consenting adults". You can still personally want zero sex for yourself or think a particular kink is weird/ick, but you can, in tumblr speak, be normal about consenting adults doing consenting adult stuff - Sex negative - conservative purity culture, basically. You think nobody should have sex ever, or at least not until marriage, and when they do it should only be the "right" or "good" kind, as arbitrarily decided by you/society/some collective. You think badly of, look down on, and may even treat badly anyone who doesn't have the "right" kind of sex in your opinion. You are not normal about consenting adults doing consenting adult activities (even though they don't involve you in any way)

A wonderful addition from @overlord-of-chaos Sex aversion is not the same thing as sex repulsed.

If you are sex adverse, you personally have no desire to partake in any of those actions but seeing or knowing other people partake in that doesn't bother you.

Sex repulsion is when you can't stand doing it yourself, seeing/hearing about/knowing that others partake in it, or even just the idea of it.

Microlabels/Terms describing flavour of attraction

Note: -sexual is used for many of these so we don't have to deal with duplicates confusing things. All of these prefixes can be used with -romantic, -sexual, -platonic, and I imagine -alterous as well

Abrosexual - orientation fluctuates between a variety of orientations

Aceflux - similar to abrosexual, but orientation is contained to asexual spectrum

Acespike - someone who is asexual but may experience intense, brief, and random bouts of sexual attraction

Aegosexual - disconnect between oneself and the target of arousal

Amicusromantic/sexual - only experiences romantic attraction to those who they have formed a platonic relationship with (subset of demi)

Angled aroace - the same as oriented, but for those who are demi, grey, flux, etc.

Anthrosexual - someone who is attracted to humans and alterhumans regardless of gender identity/expression

Bellussexual - has interest in the aesthetic/aspects/certain sexual actions, but does not experience sexual attraction or want a sexual relationship

Caedsexual - previously allo, but now ace due to past trauma

Cupiosexual - wanting a sexual relationship but not experiencing sexual attraction

Finsexual/gynesexual - attraction to femininity

Fraysexual - opposite of demi. Attraction dissipates once an emotional connection has been formed

Linsexual - attraction to androgyny

Lithosexual - experiencing sexual attraction but not wanting it to be reciprocated

Loveless Romantic/Lovelessromantic - those who cannot feel love or feel disconnected from love but can feel romantic attraction/don't feel disconnected from the concept of romance

Minsexual/androsexual - attraction to masculinity

Orchid - the opposite of cupio; experiences ____ attraction but has no desire for a relationship of that type

Placiosexual - not wanting to be on the receiving end of sexual activities but wishing to perform them on others

Quiosexual - unable to distinguish between sexual attraction and other forms of attraction

Qui(r)oromantic - inability to distinguish between platonic and romantic attraction

Reciprosexual - not experiencing sexual attraction towards someone until you discover they experience sexual attraction towards you

Requiessexual - similar to caedsexual, but rather than trauma, ace identity originates from a state of emotional exhaustion, usually from a past sexual experience

Oriented aroace - an aromantic asexual (aroace) individual who experiences a form of tertiary attraction, that they feel is significant enough to warrant a place alongside their aroace orientation. (i.e. gay aroace, bi aroace)

Angled aroace - someone who is on the aroace spectrum (grey, demi, fray, etc) who experiences a type of attraction significant enough to stand alongside their aroace orientation

Examples of mixed orientations

Heteroromantic asexual biplatonic

Poly greyromantic pansexual

Apothi abroplatonic

Placiosexual aromantic finplatonic

Aroace cupioplatonic

Pan lithioromantic

Fraysexual biromantic aplatonic

You can get WAY more specific than what these cover, but just to give a general idea

Amatonormativity

Amatonormativity is the assumption that all human beings pursue love or romance, especially by means of a monogamous long-term relationship. The term was coined by Elizabeth Brake, in her book Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law (2011).

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dreaming-like-a-girl · 5 months

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For me being in a qpr lately is like. No we're not dating. Yes this is my boyfriend isn't he great and lovely and handsome aren't I lucky. No I don't want anyone to mistake us for romantic partners. Yes I want to marry him. No we're not "just friends". Yes I don't want people to think our friendship matters less than our love. No I don't care what people think. Yes I want you to know that we're each other's and each other's alone. No I've never had a crush on him. Yes, I love him with all my heart and soul.

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gothfatherr · 2 years

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for an aro person, I fantasize a lot about intimacy. but not in a romantic context like smoochy ooky pooky boo-boo...hell no.

intimacy as in being completely emotionally open to/with someone, being so comfortable with them that you just feel safe and warm. I want to have that type of closeness with someone without having to feel guilty that I won't be able to give them romantic love.

it can be something so very deep within my core, but it's just...not romantic. is that so bad?

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frogtimebabeyy · 11 months

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queerplatonic attraction is so weird. i wanna friend this man so bad. i wanna put him in my pocket. heck, I wanna play DND with him.

#aro #aromantic #aroallo #arospec #alloaro #aro positivity #aro pride #aroace #aromantic asexual #aromantic allosexual #queerplatonic #queerplatonic attraction #qpr #alterous #alterous attraction

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starfishinthedistance · 1 year

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If you're alloromantic and have ever said anything along the lines of "QPRs are literally just friendships, you guys are just friends stop trying to be special lol" then I am legally allowed to hunt you for sport

#alloromantics be doing everything except shutting tf up #just say you dont understand different forms of attraction and go #aromantic #aro #arospec #arophobia #aphobia #qpr #alloaro #aroace #oriented aroace #angled aroace #aromantic spectrum #aromanticism #queerplatonic #alterous attraction #aspec

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alterouslyinlove · 1 year

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oh to live with your qpp. oh to be in separate rooms or bunk beds but always join each other if we need to. oh to dance in the kitchen and make meals together. oh to cuddle while watching a movie. oh to have our time to our selves but still be close to each other. oh to be able to say i love you irl and any time you want. oh to own a cat together. oh to go grocery shopping together. oh to sit on the porch and watch the stars together. oh to simply be with one another. wouldn’t that be great.

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fluidly-polymorphic · 6 months

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Relationship but we’re both aromantic and tell people we’re “dating” but only we know we aren’t.

#alterous relationship #alterous attraction #alterous yearning #oaa #oriented aroace #aroace #aromantic #asexual

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strawberrus0da · 9 months

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Live footage of me looking up fics on ao3

#aro culture is #aro #aromantic #alterous attraction #is that the right tag #maybe #aro memes #aromantic memes #ao3 #fanfiction #fanfics #fanfiction memes

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the-aaaaa-battery · 1 month

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Being aroace but also feeling a tertiary form of attraction (alterous attraction) was one of the most confusing parts of my identity to figure out. Before I knew what alterous attraction was, I only knew sexual, romantic, platonic, sensual, and aesthetic attraction.

I had a crush on one of my friends (and I still do). It made me kind of scared because at that point, I was 99% certain I was aroace, and I couldn't tell if I was experiencing romantic attraction or not. I didn't like the idea of dating and I didn't like the word "romance," and yet I also felt like I wanted to be more than friends with that person.

It wasn't until months after discovering I had a crush that I learned about alterous attraction. I liked the definition and I thought that if fit me best, so I started to use it to describe my crush. I felt way more confident using aroace again, because it felt right! And I had a way of explaining my feelings for my crush.

But oh my God, it was so hard to figure out.

Shoutout to people who are confused about their identity right now! Gender and sexuality is tough to figure out, but it's okay to question.

#lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtq+#sexuality #aroace #aromantic #asexual #romantic attraction #aromanticism #asexuality #alterous attraction #demialterous #questioning #queer #unsure #confused

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spineless-lobster · 5 months

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Alterous attraction is so wild because it’s like I love you in a way neither of us can comprehend, I love you like the birds love the sun in the morning, I love you like the moon clinging to the night sky, I love you when we’re holding hands or cuddling or just sharing a space, I love you when you laugh or smile, I love you when you are near me and far away from me, I love you without a label, I love you when we go at our own pace, I love you when we express our love in different ways, I love you because you are my person and I am yours, we are friends and we are more and I love you

#y’all it is 1am and the pining is insane #thomas thorne wishes he was me rn #it’s so weird because like I’ve never felt like this before until now???#it’s so confusing and I’m halfway to like ‘get a grip girl this isn’t you’ but like it IS and I am learning to feel my feelings #damn this emotion stuff his hard #anyways yeah #alterous attraction #alterous yearning #<- literally me every day

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dreaming-like-a-girl · 7 months

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Let's go to the aquarium together and I can draw the sharks while you tell me facts like how sharks keep swimming even when they're asleep and you've got that excited look on your face and then we can go home to our house and cuddle on our couch while we watch our favourite shows and play video games and cook each other dinner and go to coles together and spend every moment of our lives together because the look on your face when you see me is infinitely more beautiful than all the sunrises we'll watch together

#alterous attraction #qpr #queerplatonic #alterous #lgbtqia+#qpp #queerplatonic partner #queerplatonic relationship #love #transgender #aroace #aromantic #aromanticism #asexual #asexuality #demiromantic #demisexual #demialterous

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thorns-in-daisy-fields · 11 months

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I wish we would discuss alterous attraction more. The simple fact is: human attraction is so complex and diverse. It's so much more than sex, romance, and platonics. I constantly find myself falling short of words to describe what I feel. I constantly find myself isolated in attraction conversations because I very much do experience attraction, love, and the feeling of being "in love," but it's uncomfortable how frequently I see myself falling between the cracks when it comes to conversations about attraction and love because of how isolated my experience seems. It feels like no matter where I turn, whether in the queer or non-queer communities, I can't find myself. Not only am I lost in these conversations, but I find that people aren't listening. People choose to half hear me out and decide what my feelings are themselves and put them in their own, "much simpler" boxes. I get told I'm just making things complicated, I'm just confused, I'm too confusing... Just once, I'd like to see my love understood and valued like all the common loves so many people experience are. I love hard. Love is very important to me and my identity. I don't even know how to describe how over the moon I'd be if I could see conversations and poems and stories about the love I experience

#alterous attraction #aromatic #aroace #asexual #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbt awareness #queer #queerplatonic #gay #love #love is love #rant

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aroace-menace · 7 months

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There are lots of terms in aspec spaces like queerplatonic, alterous, or tertiary that essentially just mean “not platonic or romantic,” but platonic essentially just means “not romantic,” and romantic doesn’t have any accurate definition as far as I’m aware. That’s not to say that any of these terms aren’t valuable, I just think everything is fake.

#queerplatonic #qpr #alterous attraction #tertiary attraction #relationship anarchy #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aro #ace #the menace is yapping

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