Honestly, gotta respect that out of all the bats, literally Jason and Cass are the only ones who don’t have a civilian-sona. They don’t do shit as their legal identities (assuming Jason even has one). They’re job is to look pretty and that’s it.

Duke Thomas headcannons becuase please just write him as a black boy:

the first time there’s a summer rain at night after he moves into Wayne Manor Duke sets up the speakers and the floodlights and lives out his 00’s rnb music video dreams

after that Alfred will sometimes drive him around in the back of one of the cars when it rains at night because he doesn’t want his latest grandson to get hypothermia but understands that it is very important to live out 00’s rnb music video dreams

Duke teaches Cass the Usher watch this thing and originally they only use it to tell each other that they’re gonna do some dumb shit but then Cass decides she really likes it and uses it more than the actual sign

Duke and Cass have a theme song because they are besties and that theme song is black and yellow by Wiz Khalifa whenever it plays they drop everything to rap to each other and if anyone turns it off before it finishes they start it again even louder it becomes a great distraction technique for other batfamily members. they chose the song because of their uniforms but the first time a civilian sees how enthusiastic they are about the song they draw a different conclusion and they find it so funny that they definitely have to keep it as their theme song from now on

Duke lives a no shoes in the house life no matter who’s house it is or what everyone else is doing

He also keeps his Signal uniform exclusively in the batcave because no uniforms in the Manor seems like the natural extension for no outside clothes in bed

Duke sneaks scotch bonnets into the Manor kitchen generally timed with the occasions that Jason is around and in the mood to cook. Dinner those nights feature running eyes and noses from Bruce Tim and Steph along with all the milk in the Manor finishing. It’s great entertainment for Duke Cass Damian Jason and Dick

Duke has locs he lowkey thinks about bleaching the ends to match the aesthetic of his uniform but he’s unsure of if it will make him to conspicuous

When he first moved to the Manor he got pooled into the schedule to pick up hair shop (beauty supply store) supplies with the Fox’s because they’re all way too busy of people to be driving out of the way individually so it only made sense to add Duke to that. He and Tam also timetable his retwist appointments with her hair appointments for the same time

Duke is an instigator Jason and Tim will be having a petty squabble that is about to fizzle out but then Duke walks past them and just whispers a quick “if I were you I wouldn’t have that” and then an hour later a priceless vase is broken there’s holes in the wall and Tim and Jason have matching black eyes. Duke considers it a public service to provide Babs with entertainment for when Oracle hours a slow she agrees and doesn’t snitch on just how much shit Duke starts so he can get away with even more

Duke joins Jason and Alfred’s book club and the first book he picks is Beloved because like they’re in this big old gothic manor respect the aesthetic

One time Bruce walks passed Duke on ft to his friends and he’s performing “Wisdom” and Bruce thinks it’s something Duke came up with himself and is trying to be a supportive dad and is like “that’s great son” with a really strained smile and Duke just sticks to the bit like “you really think so?” bruce even more pained “yeah it’s amazing”

He also has exclusively satin pillowcases and gives everyone in the Manor a set because it’s good for the hair and therefore a good use of Bruce’s rich people money

Duke upon realising that he was gonna be adopted by a bunch of crime fighting pseudofurries and was going to join them in the crime fighting said this some white people shit and that’s why he chose Signal rather than some bioluminescent bird

Strawhat Pirates Reincarnated as Batfam

My brain won't drop the idea, so here you go.

Dick is Franky

He's still extra and still refuses to wear pants. This version of Dick may carry the leotard design over into Nightwing.

Jason is Sanji

He can cook, and making sure people can eat will always be important to him. He's gruff and growls with people even if he likes them. The real reason he never uses the all blades after returning to Gotham is because he can't risk letting Zoro know he missed him. He went through character growth and respects women in this life.

Tim is Usopp

He has anxiety, but never let that stop him. He chose the life of adventure rather than getting picked up by it. He is an excellent storyteller and actor, as shown by his numerous separate secret identities, many of which have fleshed out backstories. His general attitude of "I don't have to beat you in a fight. I just have to accomplish my goal."

Cass is Robin

David Cain failed. She is fluent and literate in multiple languages and still fully capable of kicking his ass and giving him the slip.

Steph is Nami

The attitude feels similar. She doesn't have the same issues about money in this life because she's finally moved on from at least part of that trauma. She still doesn't like power imbalances. Her acute awareness of her surroundings is part of what allowed her to manage as Spoiler before she had support.

Damian is Zoro

He uses swords. He's gruff. His respect is most quickly earned through combat prowess. That said, he still has his own code of honor. He still uses three sword style. Talia arrives at Wayne Manor hoping that Bruce can get him to stop carrying a third sword in his mouth. This Damian has beef with Jason rather than Tim (because Jason is Sanji).

Jaro is Chopper

Retains a sense of innocent wonder despite exposure to the cruelties of life. Wants to be loved. This version of Jaro is probably less invested in being Robin, and more wants to be on scene to provide emergency medical treatment. Might resort to mind control to make stubborn idiots stay in bed when they're hurt (but only when he really has to).

Bruce is Luffy

Growing up, he was frequently startled by how fast and efficient his new brain is. That said, he can still be kind of dense sometimes. Especially about communication. The reason he took until adulthood to start fighting was because it took him that long to figure out what works in this life. The Grapple guns were inspired by how fed up he was with not being able to use Gom Gom Rocket. Half the reason he's so grouchy is that he has to think so much in this lifetime. He doesn't like doing it. He can't stop. It's not fair. He used to be so good at Nakama, and now he keeps overthinking things.

I'm not sure who Brook would be, feel free to offer suggestions.

Spook-tober Day 1 — Decorating

@maribat-october-rarepairs

So, technically, it’s October 2nd for almost two hour here, but it’s probably still the 1rst somewhere, right? Well, I don’t care anyway.

It’s my first time writing for an event (Maribat or otherwise) and I wanted to write both prompts for Spook-tober - Maribat Month and the Maribat Rare Pairs Month, but didn’t have time to start writing before 11pm.

This one's for Spook-tober, though it could also qualify as rarepair since it's a Stephinette (is that the correct shop name???), because Steph is my Queen (Cass too, but I wanted Steph today). Though they don't interact (yet) but I think I’ll write a follow up for other days' prompt, maybe (day 9 and 21, I’m looking at you,).

Anyway, let’s start.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You sure you got the right address, miss?” The cab driver asked her with a skeptic expression. It would have been alright if the man hadn’t asked the same thing in at least twenty different ways during the ride.

“Yes, thank you Monsieur. I’m exactly where I wanted to be,” Marinette answered with a tight smile, like the twenty previous times. Giving him the money she owed him, she got out of the car to stand in front of the gigantic gate of Wayne’s Manor. The place was kind of intimidating.

Still hearing the car behind her when she reached the intercom, she turned toward it. The driver was shamelessly looking at her, probably waiting for her to get refused access.

“Are you waiting for something, sir?” She asked, tilting her head slightly.

“You’re gonna need a ride back, don’t ya? I’m already here, might as well,” he smiled at her with condescending amusement. Marinette was tempted to tell him that she would prefer to go back to the city on foot than to get into his car again. But her parents raised her better than that, so she only smiled politely.

“There is no need, sir, I really don’t know how long I’m going to stay here.”

“Yeah, right,” the man huffed, still staring at her.

Deciding to just ignore him, Marinette turned to push on the intercom’s only button. It took a minute before an elegant and accented voice responded.

“Hello, how may I help you?”

“Ah, hello sir. I’m Marinette, Jason asked me to come?”

“Indeed, Master Jason warned me to expect you.”

When the gate opened, Marinette made a point to turn around to smile and wave goodbye at the cab driver. She would cherish his dumbstruck expression for a long time.

Her victory was short lived, though, when she saw how long the march from the gate to the house was going to be. Jason better be on the brink of death. Or the world, she wasn’t picky.

When she finally got there, an old gentleman she thought might be Alfred was waiting for her.

“Miss Dupain-Cheng, I’m Alfred, the family’s butler, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Alfred said with a kind smile and a nod.

“The pleasure is all mine, sir. And just Marinette is fine,” she told him kindly, walking into the house. “Jason is okay, right? He didn’t say why he wanted me here, and I have to admit that he got me worried.”

Jason had been determined to keep her as far away from his family as he could manage before, and the sudden change was really odd.

“I see,” Alfred said slowly, closing his eyes for a second. “Master Jason is alright, Miss Marinette, do not worry. He just… Well, why not let Master Jason explain the situation to you himself. If you would follow me.”

Marinette followed him for a couple minutes through a couple of corridors, before he opened the doors to… a battlefield.

She thought that, maybe, it was supposed to be a living room, but it was hard to say, under all those decorations. They were literally everywhere. Throwing on the couches, a couple of boxes were overturned in a corner, a couple of garlands of little cartoon ghosts hanging hazradly from the chandelier. It was a mess, but she could see that someone probably tried to… decorate? Maybe? It was a really bad job, though.

Jason and a man she assumed to be his brother were battling with a plastic pumpkin and a skeleton respectively, while two more men and a woman—probably also Jason’s siblings, she heard Bruce Wayne was kind of a serial adopter— were cheering on the sidelines and a brooding teenager was glaring at them. Everyone froze as soon as they realized that they weren’t alone anymore. Alfred only sighed, nodded at her before going back to where they came from.

“Hey! Pixie! Great, you’re here,” Jason exclaimed excitedly, letting go of the pumpkin he was shoving into his brother’s face and stauttered toward her.

“Jason, in the name of everything that’s holy, what the hell?” Marinette asked with a voice deceptively calm. She could see the woman and one of the men behind Jason wince at her tone. Good.

“Well, see, we wanna decorate the house for Halloween, now that it’s time—”

“Jason,” she interrupted incredulously. “We are in September!”

“Well, technically, it’s already October in Russia,” the man that had been fighting with Jason piped up.

“Yeah, what Timbers said,” Jason said with a serious nod while Marinette could only look at him in astonishment. “Anyway, Bruce said we can decorate all the room in the Manor like we wish if we can make this one presentable, without the help of Alfred. And I really want to make a cat theme for his bedroom, so I thought; hey, you know a designer…”

“I’m a fashion designer, Jason, not an interior designer!”

“Same difference, Pixie. You’re my only hope, all of them are hopeless in terms of good taste.”

Marinette pinched the bridge of her nose, ignoring the various protests from Jason’s sibling, before taking out her phone.

“So you proceeded to send me ‘Hey Pix,” she said, reading the message he sent her earlier with a bad imitation of his voice. “‘Need you at the manor asap, urgence lvl 3’ before ignoring me, making me think that the world was probably ending—”

“World ending is at least a lvl 5, Pix, come on,” Jason interrupted with an offended expression. She ignored him.

“—Forcing me to take a cab with a absolute jerk driver—”

“Why did you take a cab? You have a car!”

“Adrien took the car, he is visiting Chloé in New York. But that’s not the point. The point, Jason, is that all of that was because you needed me to help you decorate for a day that is literally in a month?”

“Hey, Halloween is a very important celebration,” Jason’s brother, the one that had been cheering the loudest, told her with a solemn expression.

“I’m French, I don’t care about Halloween,” she deadpanned.

“I’m sorry, what?” The one Jason had called Timbers, probably Tim Drake, looked pained at the very idea that someone could not be obsessed by Halloween.

“I mean, we used to make speciales and sales at the bakery, and I’ve been to a couple of costume parties, but we don’t really pay attention to Halloween until around the 25 of October.”

“That’s sacrilegious,” Jason said, and almost all the others agreed in a way or another.

“Maybe for you, Americans,” she told him with amusement. “But it doesn't change the fact that I’m not going to help you.”

What? Why?!” He exclaimed, his eyes widening.

“Because, one, I don’t have anything to gain from it,” she said, showing him one of her fingers before adding a second. “And two, do you know how long the walk between the cab and the door had been? And all of it just for decorations?”

“Aw, come on, Pix! Bruce is going to make Alfred judge, and I have projects for the cat theme!”

“There is nothing you can say that is going to make me change my—”

“Hey guys!” A cheerful voice suddenly interrupted her, the owner barging into the room like a whirlwind. The woman was slightly taller than her, with long blonde hair and blue eyes. She had a beautiful smile that brightened the room and Marinette could feel the hearts that were making their way in her eyes. The girl was cute. Uh oh. “You are decorating already?! Cool! Be right back, let me just grab my stuff!”

Then she was gone, and Marinette could only blink slowly, before turning back toward Jason.

“Alright, I’m in.”

“What? Why— Oh, no, no, no! You’re not going to crush on Steph—”

“Oh, her name is Steph? What a lovely name,” she mumbled, looking back in the direction she disappeared. “But if you don’t want my help, I can just ask for her number and let you fend for yourself with the decorations, you know.”

“Pixie!” Jason complained, making his sibling laugh or snicker at him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Fun fact: when Marinette says that France doesn't care about Halloween until around October 25th, I’m talking from personal experience. I don’t know if it’s the same in all of France, but I grew up in Paris’ region (It’s not Paris Paris, but it’s like, the places all around and we call it régions parisienne) and they don’t care about it. Where I live, the shops don’t start selling Halloween themed candy before, like a week (maybe two?? when they start early) before Halloween and the children rarely go trick or treating. (I lived in this house for ~five/six years, and I’ve never got a child knocking for candy on Halloween.)

Again, I’m not saying it was like that for everyone in France, maybe it was only my city, but I thought it funny to have this opposition between Marinette and the Batkids.

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

Sort of inspired by the other idea, but Steph actually did die, and she was buried, but three/six months afterwards she came back.

Some bloggers were doing a six months anniversary thing and initially assumed zombie, attacking her hand with a shovel. On the second swing, Steph's hand grabs, it, pushes it into the bloggers stomach and uses it as leverage to get out.

She's very focused on her torso ideally not opening up and spilling her organs out everywhere cos coming back didn't fix 'everything'. She's somewhat hysterical, can't remember what brought her back, but also capable of wheedling a lot of info out of the bloggers, while subtly pulling bits of tombstone off and crushing them into dust.

Finding out the phone was doing a liveblog, she just uses a gust of wind and the crumbled stone to cover her 'escape'. Leaving the guys to run deeper into the graveyard looking for her, while she doubles back, grabs the shovel and leaves, shouting as she disappears into an alleyway "Sorry, East End Girls learn not to follow strangers anywhere!, even for doctors!" before vanishing.

Steph goes to a place she hid one of her old supply staches and uses it t patch herself up and trap an old bomb shelter or basement or what have you.

Meanwhile 'everyone' sees this, or more, lots of people do, there's investigations, plans and naturally Jason & Cass in their respective adventures flip out and race to Gotham. (Shiva & Cain are very upset Cass bailed on their fucked up family adventure with Mad Dog. That was all one thing right?)

Cass's motives are obvious, Jason's is that he knows Ra's will be after her and he is!

Bruce, Tim & Dick are on holiday and so are late to the party.

So, let's see. It's before Bruce dies, so Leslie isn't back in Gotham yet. There's no one in Batcave. Or Clock Tower. Or Batgirl's Cave. That's. Uh... That's okay. Fuck. Ouch. But - never fear! Stephanie can sew, and she can, in fact, sew herself together.

She can't go home, though, because with ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE IN GOTHAM: LOCAL VIGILANTE THE FIRST TO RISE a lot of journalists and just busybodies hound Crystal, asking for a comment.

So. You know. Hiding it is.

She does phone her mom, but. Her mother is crying, afraid to believe, angry that someone possibly playing a prank. It doesn't go so well.

Stephanie goes to the only ally she knows she has in Gotham, still: Catwoman.

"Huh," Selina says, finding her in the living room. "Guess you also have nine lives. Or, eight now, perhaps."

"About that," Steph says. "I kinda can't go home, and with this stupid zombie panic, I can't just roam the streets as Spoiler. Or Robin."

"Oh? So what did you have in mind?"

"I'm so glad you asked!"

So Stephanie becomes Stray. Her costume isn't much like Selina's, though. It's a mask, cat ears, and gloves with metal claws.

If anything, you could say Cheshire could be cited as an influence, but the color scheme and the suit style are different. It's a dark gray jumpsuit that covers all her body to hide the scars but still allows free movement for parkour and fighting.

There are claws in boots, too, so Steph can literally go up a wall if needed.

Batgirl and Red Hood find her pretty much at the same time. It's not that they tracked her down, it's that she's robbing Black Mask's warehouse, where he's keeping the guns and other illicit goods he's planning to fund his operations with. If you take away his money, Black Mask really can't offer much else in a fight. He's pretty pathetic, actually. Steph again congratulates herself on making the right choice not killing him: she doesn't need it to bring him down. It's just her death put something of a hamper on the timeline when she can actually finish him off.

Well, not anymore!

"Smart," says Red Hood.

"You're the literary last person I want approval from, Hood, you didn't have any hangups about killing anyone and still didn't manage to put him down!" She says.

"Okay, this was uncalled for. I had other priorities. Now, do you want my help or not?" Hood says. "You may not like me, or approve of my methods, but I am excellent in robbing Black Mask of valuables and pissing him off."

"Okay," Steph eyes him warily. "You're on probation as my sidekick."

"Sir yes sir!" Hood salutes.

And then shoots a ninja down. Because, it turns out, that's the real reason he came back, to keep her safe from a cult.

"They have the means to resurrect the dead, it's literally fine!" Hood replies when Steph is like: probation is over, you failed.

Steph: "Do I look like I care?"

And then she's attacked again, but now it's by Batgirl, and it's with a hug, not a knife.

"Stephanie," she says. "Is that really?.. I don't understand..."

"Shhh, names in the field!" Stephanie says.

"Come on," Hood says. "I know your name. The whole Gotham knows your name."

"They don't know Stray's name!" Steph argues.

"Like it's so hard to deduce, after you crawled out of your grave and then, a week later, a new crime-fighter appeared. At least I managed to get through my resurrect without being live-streamed."

"Who's the guy?" Stephanie asks Cass, because it's obvious that she's missing something. Like whoah, is she not the only zombie in Gotham?

(if that's what she is; so far, no cravings for brains)

Cass looks at Red Hood and shakes her head.

"I have no idea. And I don't care."

"Okay, that one really hurt. Batman didn't talk about me? Really?"

His shoulders snoop. Steph feels kinda sad about him.

"Alright," she says. "You can come with us. But - no guns, they're loud, and we're trying for stealth."

"Yeah, okay," Hood says. |It's not like I don't have knives. Or aren't as deadly in hand to hand.|

"No deadly force whatsoever," Cass says.

"Try and stop me," Hood grins. "If I don't kill it's because I don't want to. Not because you told me so."

But he does, indeed, refrain from using guns or killing anyone. He says that he doesn't need to, the mission parameters could be achieved without it.

So it goes. They completely devastate Roman Sionis' resources. He can't pay his people. They turn on him. Tragically, Black Mask dies. They were busy saving other people from getting caught in the crossfire, so it's not like they're to blame.

They do round up the rest of False Face Society pretty quick, working together.

And then Batman, Nightwing, and Robin come back.

They're like: "Spoiler! Batgirl! You're working with a known criminal and a killer! We're disappointed in you."

Cass is like: "Not for the first time, for me. I believe everyone can change and redeem themselves. Don't you?"

Stephanie is like: "Well, he didn't actually kill anyone when he was working with us, because my plan was much more superior to his own and could be implemented without any murder. So there."

Red Hood: "Alright, so? I didn't change a bit. I am as I always was. Ruthless and ready to go where you all can't, do what needs to be done. I am. And now is my cue to leave."

Exit stage left.

But! Jason has to stick in Gotham, because League of Shadows is still lurking around. To get Batman and the rest off his back, he decides to just walk into GCPD district and be like: hi, yes, I'm Jason Todd. No, really. No, I really died. No idea. Also no idea. Well, maybe connected to Stephanie Brown - I also crawled out of my grave, it's actually why I found the courage to come back to Gotham, because I am not the only one anymore. Who can testify? I would think my father, Bruce Wayne, could. Or Alfred Pennyworth. Or Dick Grayson. Or Commissioner Gordon's daughter Barbara, she was tutoring me in Math, did you know?

And it's like. What Bruce and the rest of them can do? It is Jason. Denying it's Jason will only raise more questions.

But, also. If Stephanie was the only one to come from beyond the grave, it would be freaky. But now...

Besides, there's also the Court of Owls. They let themselves be known right around the time Jason reveals he's alive. And, what do you know: they're using people who are presumed dead - brainwashed and augmented humans. So, when Batfam uncovers this plot - Jason helps, and he almost doesn't kill anyone here, because in his interest that as many Owls as possible are alive to be dragged into the light of the public eye. To answer in the court of the law, yes, but also, because Jason plans to blame his and Stephanie's resurrection on them.

It works. If all of them, who are in custody, die under mysterious circumstances, who's to blame? Not Jason, he was here reading this book the whole evening.

Look. Batfam doesn't trust him. They are basically certain that he orchestrated the deaths. The irony is, he really isn't responsible. Again, it's in his interest that Owls are alive.

Some of the Talons, who were deprogrammed, weren't as kin on letting them live. Honestly, Jason gets it. So he doesn't say anything and lets everyone, including Cass and Steph who's like: I was rooting for you, how dare you! just believe what they will.

So. With the explanation out in the open, Ra's - maybe he doesn't believe fully in the story Jason is selling, but he's not as keen to waste resources, especially with the uprising in the League, led by his daughters.

Steph patches up things with her mom. Crystal is devastated when she realizes that the girl who called her was really her daughter. But Steph doesn't blame her. Anyway, she couldn't have come home before she figured everything out, so. She shouldn't have even called. "No," Crystal says, "you should have, I should have... "

There's a lot of hugging and crying and it takes time, but then life goes back to normal.

Damian arrives at the Manor. Because the League is going through a rough time, it's safer for him in Gotham. He bosses Jason around because, well, isn't Jason his mother's pet project? One of the reasons the relationship between Mother and Grandfather soured? And he's not even there, fighting with her?

Jason, who was kinda cut off from the League news for a long, long time, is like: what???

So yeah, he's leaving Gotham and going to Talia. It's not like she needed him much, but it's thought that counts, Talia decides. So Jason stays with her until everything is said and done. Ra's dies, Nyssa dies. Talia doesn't.

In Gotham, things move on. Stephanie becomes Batgirl. And also a college student. Bruce dies. Cassandra becomes Batman. Damian becomes Robin. Dick becomes a parent to a ten years old child. Tim becomes obsessed with trying to clone his friend, proving Bruce is in fact alive, and Red Robin.

Jason, when he finds out about Bruce's death, blue-screens for a short while.

"So," Talia asks him. "What are you going to do? I know Bruce left you a message. Are you going back to Gotham? Find out what he had to say to you... Take the mantle of Batman..."

"No," Jason says. "Cass got it covered. And Bruce had all the chances he wanted to say something to me while I was living at the Manor again. But... You know. I made him a promise, once. If something like what happened to me, happened to him, I would have..."

He trails off. Then looks at Talia.

"I guess I have an evil god to kill."

I've been thinking about Bruce traveling with his kids.

Look, sometimes he needs to leave Gotham for a Justice League thing, and in those cases he probably either leaves his kids with Alfred, or keeps them at the Watchtower because its too dangerous. But sometimes Bruce Wayne goes out of town for a business trip or a vacation. And on those trips, he probably likes to bring the kids with him when he can. Its educational, lets them experience another part of the world or another culture. It has nothing to do with how wonderful it is to watch his kids experience something new with wonder in their eyes. Or how much fun Bruce has finding the best this new place has to offer with his kids.

(Alfred has always refused to go on trips, stating that he has enough to do at home and it would be completely improper for a butler to go on family vacation. Eventually Bruce got a concession that Alfred would also take a vacation somewhere he wanted to go anytime a trip lasted more than a weekend.)

When it was just Dick it was simple. He just asked for a room with two beds or a suite with two rooms, he's rich enough to afford several rooms. Dick still liked to wake him up by jumping on the bed, asking if they could have ice cream for breakfast just this once because Alfred wasn't there to say no. When Dick left he found himself keeping the habit, getting two rooms instead of just one.

When Jason came along it was better, Bruce just put him in the extra room anytime he came with and getting another room the rare times he and Dick could agree long enough for a vacation. Jason wasn't as prone to jumping on the bed, and always made fun of Bruce for wasting so much money. But Bruce knew that Jason appreciated having his own private space when he got overwhelmed on a trip.

Bruce had several business trips already planned out after Jason died, already booked with an extra room. Some of those trips were hurriedly canceled in his wave of grief, but when Bruce was finally able to force himself to go, he found he couldn't bare to cancel the other room. And he kept doing it, booking two rooms when he only needed one. Sometimes he would just go to the doorway of the empty room, and imagine knocking only for Jason to open the door, and for it to have all been a bad dream after eating sushi at a dubious restaurant Jason had dragged him to.

And then eventually Tim came along, but Bruce couldn't exactly take his neighbor's kid with him on trips. So that extra room stayed empty, a reminder of what would never be.

And then one time Dick decides to come with him on a trip. Bruce is sure that Alfred and Tim are responsible for it, are trying to get them back to the place they were as a family. But he's too grateful to question much, eager to reconnect with his remaining son. Except...

He couldn't bear to not have that empty room. It was part of his travel routine now, and he couldn't bear to admit to himself that Jason was never going to go on another family trip, that his sons were never going to be with him again...

He booked a third room, and dodged Alfred's knowing looks and Dick's curious frown at the extra key he picked up in the lobby.

And then he was able to take Tim along on the trips, introduce him to all his business partners as his youngest son. Then Cass came along and she had never had the chance to travel like this, with a warm place to sleep and people willing to explain what was going on around her. But no matter what, Bruce kept that one room empty, always having a spare room that no one ever entered.

And then Jason came back. And he was angry, and killing people, and said he wanted nothing to do with the family. Bruce knew he should break the habit now, since it was likely to piss Jason off if he ever found out. But now he had a distant, almost microscopic hope, that someday that extra room might be needed for its intended purpose.

It isn't until after the time stream, when he has Damian with him, that the room finally gets used. The entire family was with him for once, a two week family vacation that disguised a trip to disable a major crime family making inroads in Gotham.

Jason showed up midway through the second week, coming out of nowhere to save Red Robin from a sniper that would have put a bullet in his brain. Unfortunately the sniper got a lucky shot, and Jason limped away from the fight with a twisted ankle and a bullet in the shoulder. The crime family was taken down and Jason properly bandaged, but he was in no shape to leave alone as he tried to insist before the painkillers kicked in and knocked him out.

Jason wakes up tucked into a bed in a ridiculously expensive hotel room with a throbbing ache in his ankle and shoulder. He downs the pills left for him on a side table, then once they kick in gets up and hobbles his way out of the room.

He gets caught by Dick and Damian in the hallway, and before he can escape he's dragged to breakfast at the restaurant in the lobby with the rest of the family. He reluctantly agrees to stay until the end of the vacation, and head back to Gotham with the rest of the family.

It isn't until later that Jason asks about the room, joking about who he kicked out of their bed. Everyone else just looks at him in confusion. “what are you talking about, Jason?”

“That room has always been for you.”

Moving On - Chapter 4

Moving On: A Falcon & Captain Marvel Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Sam Wilson x F!Reader, Carol Danvers x F! Reader

Word Count:  2107

Rating:  E

Warnings:  Smut (MF, oral sex, vaginal sex, accidental exhibitionism/voyeurism)

Synopsis:  You thought Sam Wilson was the love of your life.  You had planned to do it all with him - marriage, kids, see the world.  Even when you’re life gets turned upside down, and you both end up international fugitives, he’s there by your side.

Then Thanos comes.

When Sam is one of the many turned to dust, leaving you alone and pregnant, you don’t think you’ll ever stop grieving.  Yet, everyone tells you that Sam would want you to move on and live your life - that he’d want you to be happy. Gradually you open your heart up to another.  Carol Danvers has lost people too.  First her daughter, then her wife.  As the two of you lean on each other, feelings grow and you move on together.

So what happens when Sam is returned to you?

Chapter 4: On the Run

It is strange how quickly your whole world can change.  One minute you’re planning a wedding and living in the Avengers Compound in Upstate New York, an official agent for the Avengers.  The next you’re considered a war criminal and you’re on the run with your fiance and three other people, one of them who happened to be Captain America.

It had been like a slow-motion car wreck watching everything go wrong.  First, there was a completely unnecessary fight against your friends in the airport because no one wanted to listen to each other.  Then you’d been arrested by people who you’d once considered not just friends, but family.  Then you’d been shipped off to some secret supermax prison in the ocean for enhanced individuals with no trial, even though you weren’t enhanced.  Then Steve Rogers had busted you out and you’d ended up on the run.

You were with Sam though, and you’d rather be with him on the run knowing you were on the right side of the fight than safe in New York alone.

You’d all been trying to make the most of your time working as vigilantes.  There had been a lot of alien tech ending up in the hands of criminal organizations and Steve had been leading your little band of merry men to go and get it back.

Things weren’t easy for any of you.  There was a lack of money coming in and everyone had had to quickly withdraw their entire savings before the government blocked all of their accounts.  Thankfully Steve’s pension from the army had accrued a lot since he’d been lost at sea, but he hadn’t been able to withdraw all of it.

It had meant that a lot of the income came down to you, as out of everyone - you were the least recognizable.  Yes, there were alerts out for you, but you were a spy - you knew how to disguise yourself and you knew where to find under-the-counter work when needed.

The trick was never staying in the same place for long and returning to countries that didn’t sign the accords.  Even those weren’t safe for long - Ross was not above sending people into countries illegally to detain people who he was hunting - Bruce Banner was a testament to that - but they were safe for a little while and meant that once a month rather than sleep in the stolen Quinn, you could splash out and get a hotel.  Although you were pretty sure that Wanda was often sleeping in hotels - with Vision most likely - anytime she said she needed to have some alone time.

You woke up and stretched on the cold metal floor of the Quinn, your spine popping loudly.  Sam shifted in close to you, his arm draping over your sternum and his hand resting on your neck so his fingertips lightly caressed your jaw.  “Was wondering when you were gonna wake up,” he murmured.

“Is it late?”  You asked, blinking your eyes in the dark of the jet.  There was light coming in through the cockpit window, but it was low and you couldn’t tell if that was because it was early or just overcast outside.

“Not particularly,” he said, his hand running down your neck and over your collarbone.  “You just normally sleep like shit in the Quin.”

“Who says I didn’t,” you grumbled, rolling in toward him, and breathing him in.  There was an acrid sting to his scent thanks to the fact that neither of you had showered for a few days.  You were all due for a trip to somewhere remote with beds and good water pressure.  Steve had said maybe going back to Wakanda for a few weeks was in order.  He didn’t like to go too often because T’Challa had already extended himself above and beyond anything that was fair to ask of him just by harboring Bucky.  But it had been over six months since any of you had been there, and you had accumulated a lot of alien technology that you knew Shuri would love to get her hands on.

Sam chuckled and his hands ran down to yours, linking your fingers together, and playing with the engagement ring that sat on your finger.  “What if we just get married in Wakanda?”

You looked up into his eyes.  They looked black in the dim light and when he smiled at you, the corners of them crinkled slightly.  “I’m not sure that’s what you really want,” you said.  “Don’t you want Sarah to be there?  And the kids?”

Sam frowned.  Sarah’s kids had been two and four years old when you’d gone on the run and every month that he missed of their lives hurt him.  He’d been sending money back to his sister to keep the family business running back when you’d both had actual jobs, but these days he was barely scraping by himself.

He sighed and nuzzled into your neck.  “I just want us to start our lives together.”

“I know, but life had other plans,” you said.  “I love you and I don’t need to get married to know that.  It’s not going to change anything.  We will still be on the run and we won’t be able to build a stable life and have kids.”

Sam sighed and leaned his forehead against you.  “I know, but I want you to be my wife.”

“I am your wife,” you said.

“Not legally,” he said.

“We don’t do anything legally at the moment,” you said, playfully.  When Sam didn’t laugh, you sighed and wrapped your arms around him.  “Sam,” you said.  “If you really want to get married in Wakanda, I’ll do it.  I’m sure I can get something nice to wear together, and Nat and Wanda can be my bridesmaids.  I’m sure given how close we’ve all gotten they would be who I’d have picked anyway.  Just like I know you’d have Steve be your best man.  But I know you.  This isn’t really what you want.  You want the big wedding down in Louisiana like you always planned.  With the catering done using fish that were caught by your family’s trawler and you want AJ and Cass to be our little ring bearers.  And I know… I know that if you do this - if we get married in Wakanda without Sarah, she’ll murder you. She will murder you and then disown you post humus.”

Sam started laughing.  “Yeah, she will.”

“Sam, I love you.  I’m yours, no matter what,” you said.

“I know,” he replied with a sigh.  “I know we’re doing the right thing now.  I mean - Tony can get all on his high horse about how important the accords were, but he still broke them immediately.  That fucking kid he brought to the fight is still breaking the accords and living his best life.  I just… I wish we could have both.”

“So do I,” you said.  “I hope they come around, but I’m scared that the thing that makes them realize how wrong they are is gonna be real bad.  Like; world-ending bad.”

“Yeah, me too,” Sam said.  “Which is why I’m doing this.”

“So, what do you want to do?  You asked.

“I guess… we can wait,” Sam relented.  “But maybe we can see if there’s any way we could do something small that we could sneak Sarah to?  Like … she goes to the Maldives and who just happens to be there getting married?”

“They’ll be watching her,” you said.

“Yeah, I know,” he said.  “But we can look into it.”

“Yeah, okay,” you agreed.  “We’ll look into it.”

Sam leaned in and kissed you deeply.  You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pulled him down on top of you, so the full weight of his body pressed down on the cold metal floor of the jet.

Sam groaned softly and rolled his hips, his cock starting to harden against your thigh.  “Where’s Steve?” you mumbled against his lips as he continued to kiss you.  He was currently the only unknown factor as Wanda was on another of her ‘retreats’ and Natasha was dealing with some ‘personal things’ that she wouldn’t tell the rest of you about.  He pulled back and smirked down at you.  “Why?  You want him to watch?”

“No,” you giggled, smacking his arm.  “I want the opposite of that.”

Sam laughed and nuzzled at your neck, pushing his hands up under your sleep shirt. “On his morning run.  Just you and me, baby.”

You kissed him again - more frantic this time, and your hands dug into his shoulders.  Sam began to squeeze and massage your breast as he ground down against you, sending a warm buzz through your body.  He began to move down your body, taking his time to both undress you and kiss every part of you.  By the time he was crouched between your spread legs, your whole body prickled like a live wire.

He gripped your thigh with one hand and reached up and began massaging your breast with the other as he dipped his head down and began lapping at your cunt.  You moaned and arched your back, gripping his bicep with one hand as you reached over your head with the other.  A hot current ran through you as Sam focused on your clit, sucking and nipping at it as he squeezed your breast.  He moaned into your cunt, the sound sending vibrations through you.  You slowly fell apart under him, writhing as a coil of hot pleasure wound itself tightly in your core.  Sam thrust two of his fingers inside you, and as soon as they hit that sweet spot inside you you cried out loudly and came hard, your whole body shuddering as your orgasm crashed through you.

Sam sat up onto his knees and looked at you.  “Gonna have to be a little quieter,” he said tapping your thigh.  “Steve’s got pretty good hearing you know.”

You scrunched up your face.  “Maybe you need to gag me.”

Sam chuckled and bit his bottom lip as you got on our hands and knees.  Even on the bedroll, your knees were going to hate you after this, but right now you didn’t care at all.  Sam moved up behind you, held onto your hips, and thrust hard into you.  You stumbled forward a little but managed to catch yourself on the cargo trunk in front of you.  He began to fuck you hard immediately, not even waiting to steady yourself.  You cried out and clenched around him as it felt like a hot shard tore through you.

Sam leaned over you, kissing your neck and shoulder, as he put his hand over your mouth.  “Hush now,” he growled in your ear.  “You don’t want to wake up the whole forest.”

You moaned into his hand and opened your mouth, letting him push two of his fingers inside for you to suck on.  He railed into you, his hips moving quickly and erratically as your bodies slapped together.  You tried to bounce back on him, adding to the pleasure coursing through you, but it wasn’t long until your arms gave out and you were helpless under him as your orgasm built.

As his hips began to stutter, Sam wrapped his arm around your waist and began to rub your clit.  It was all it took for the dam inside you to burst.  You buried your face in your arm and cried out as you came, clenching around Sam’s cock.  He began to thrust even more erratically as he chased his own release and with a jerk and a low groan he came, releasing inside you.

You let yourself flop completely on the floor, breathing heavily and feeling a little high on endorphins.  “You think Steve is out there and heard us?”  You asked as Sam lay back down next to you and kissed your shoulder.

“Caught the tail end of the show!” Steve yelled, his voice muffled through the jet walls.

You and Sam both broke down into peels of laughter and you hid your face in Sam’s chest.

“Get a move on, would you?!” Steve yelled.  “We have a lot to do today.”

You laughed even harder and Sam held you close, pressing a kiss to your forehead.  “Come on, duty calls,” he chuckled.

You let him help you up and the two of you both started cleaning yourselves up the best way you could.  You hoped to god that Steve would say it was time for a break soon, but in the meantime, you were glad you were here with Sam.

// NEXT

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Batman (Comics), Batgirl (Comics), Batman and the Outsiders (Comics) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Cassandra Cain & Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain & the Batfam Characters: Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, Duke Thomas, Dick Grayson (briefly), Barbara Gordon (briefly), Tim Drake (briefly), Bruce Wayne (Mentioned), Jefferson Pierce (mentioned) Additional Tags: Batfamily (DCU) Feels, The timeline is a mess, feelings of discomfort, Feelings of Not Belonging, Crocs, POV Cassandra Cain, late night bathroom girl talks, no beta we die like Cass, dreams of alternate timeline, timeline converging, Confusion, Eventual Fluff, Nightmares Summary:

The one where Cass know something is wrong with her Crocs, and it spirals into more being wrong with her world.

Cassandra never thought much about what she wore, it’s not like it mattered much in the grand scheme of things. What was ‘right’ to wear, ‘wrong’ to wear, she didn’t really know, she just picked what she liked, and that was that. Barbara helped keep her closet in three neat sections: clothes for fancy things – charities or dances, clothes for blending in outside, and clothes for training. It was simple, easy, efficient. She didn’t have to think about it.

But here she was, pacing back and forth in front of her closet. It wasn’t the clothes she was confused about, but a pair of shoes. Light blue, with holes. Duke called them crocs. Crocs. She turned the word over, again and again in her mind. She remembered picking them out, but the memory was blurry, she had this eerie feeling they were wrong somehow.

She’d had this feeling before – that something was wrong with the world, with her. Her costume sometimes felt wrong, like it didn’t quite belong. She shifted, irritated, from side to side. Sometimes, she talked wrong too, thought wrong. Everything, some days, just felt wrong.

And here she was, standing on her hands, glaring at her crocs. Her crocs that were wrong, but they couldn’t be wrong because she’d gotten them with Duke. She remembered – she was sure she remembered.

It had been a cloudy day, her arm stuck in a sling. Bruce had said she was training too hard, she should take it easy, and she had disagreed. But then he brought up Duke. Duke, who had been injured by Karma. Who was so angry and hurt, but she never knew what to say to fix things. And Bruce hadn’t known either. But all the same, they had to try something.

He gave her money and instructions. Take Duke to get food at the mall. It had been easy, fun. He was upset, but took the time to make her laugh, thanked her for spending time with him. They’d spun through racks of clothes, posing with sunglasses, and trying on random things, then swapping. They bought him a short shirt that showed off his belly button. A… crop top, he’d said. And she, skipping through the aisles had stopped in front of the blue crocs.

She’d felt strange then, like the world was wrong, and somehow, she felt drawn to them. Duke had looked at her as though she was crazy when she tried them on but shrugged and told her she had great tastes in fashion (lie). He’d been getting tired, the more they walked, but he smiled all the same, told her she looked great in them (not a lie). And she bought them, now here she was, feeling the same feeling of wrongness.

Sometimes, she felt like a different person.

Sometimes, she felt like Duke shouldn’t be there.

Sometimes, she missed people she met once.

And sometimes, she stared at the blue crocs, with an inkling she’d seen them before she’d ever stepped foot in that store.

 She’d been feeling well this week. Things were going well with her team, things were going well for her. She had almost finished her latest book, when she was struck by the feeling of wrongness once again. She gripped her hair, squeezing her eyes shut, burying her head in the side of her chair.

She was Cassandra Cain. She was herself. She wasn’t wrong. This was her, wasn’t it? This was her life.

But even her name sounded wrong in her head. Cassandra felt right, Cain felt wrong. But if not a Cain, who was she?

She was powerful. Strong. That was right. She’d taken down ten men last week in hardly any time, and it felt so right!

But sitting in a chair reading felt wrong.

It was so confusing. She didn’t understand, why this but not that?

Throwing the offending book across the room, she stamped to her closet. Flinging open the door, she glared at the shoes. The crocs glared back, there little holes mocking her.

The holes.

The holes were wrong.

The color was right.

She was getting somewhere. The holes were wrong, the color was right. But again, why this and not that? Clenching her fists in frustration, she threw her head back, wanting to scream but holding it in. Instead, she grabbed her costume and headed out.

 Cass had dreams, dreams of being in a city she didn’t recognize. Spending time with people she didn’t know. And the people she did know were different. Tim was smaller in her dreams, and Dick was older. Bruce was… he felt more familiar. And Barbara – she didn’t know why, but Barbara was always in a wheelchair. But she hadn’t been there for that, had she?

Every time she saw the bats, they felt wrong. Different. Maybe different was the right word. Was she the only one feeling like this? She couldn’t tell. She told Duke once, and he shrugged saying something about déjà vu. But the word didn’t feel right.

Barbara was worried. “You can talk to me, Cass, what’s wrong?” But how could she explain what was going on? Bruce whispered to Jeff about how she was quieter… withdrawn. He’d said withdrawn. But she wasn’t trying to change, wasn’t trying to… withdraw. The world was just confusing, she couldn’t keep focused with this immense feeling of dread shrouding her.

In the dreams, sometimes a girl gave her tea. In a little shop. In the city she’d never been to. And she woke up screaming because it always faded away into a wasteland.

And for some reason, she kept calling Stephanie Brown when it happened.

Tonight, she’d called again.

“Cass, bad dream? Are you okay?” She felt like she’d known Steph for years.

“Everything’s wrong.” She confessed. Steph hummed. The line was quiet. She should hang up, she usually did. Usually just said yes and hung up. But, Stephanie’s voice was comforting, it was good to know she was safe.

“Wrong like, things are going wrong right now? Or like, things feel… off.” Cass sucked in a deep breath. Maybe, just maybe, someone else understood.

“Off.” She replied.

“Like… things aren’t quite, right?” Exactly.

“Like… people are… different?” She explained.

“Like they didn’t use to be there.” Steph agreed.

“Or were there longer.” Cass breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn’t wrong. Something was wrong, or well… off. But, whatever it was, it wasn’t in her head. The world was wrong. Not her.

“Do you ever dream about things that never happened, but it feels so real you’re certain it did?” Cass nodded, then realized she was using a phone.

“Yes.” She sat in silence for a moment. “Can I… come over?” Steph felt right, an beacon in the midst of the chaos of the wrong world.

“Please.” Steph sounded just as eager to stick together.

“Coming.” She hung up the phone, and snatched up a bag, flinging open the door of her closet, and grabbing some clothes for tomorrow. The blue crocs leered at her, so she shoved her feet into them. Maybe Steph would know why they were wrong.

 Steph sat on the edge of the toilet, and she sat on the rim of the tub.

“This feels right.” Cass decided. Steph nodded.

“I don’t know why but you’re right.” She plopped her head in her hands, tired and agitated, but excited. “I feel like I know you, but like we only met a few months ago.” She made a thinking face.

Cass thought too. She took in Stephanie’s face, and closed her eyes. The burning town came to mind.

“Were you in…” She trailed off; it was a dumb question. Steph would have died with the girl who gave her tea if she were there.

“Go on.” It was stupid. “I’m not going to judge, throw anything out there, no wrong answers.”

“In my dreams, there’s a city.” She opened her eyes, staring into Steph’s face. “It burns, and I’m there, with you.” Steph tilted her head.

“In my dreams, sometimes I die.” Cass winced.

“Me too.”

“Could it have happened in the city? I don’t know, maybe we had like past lives there or something?” She suggested.

“I’m me when I die.” Cass asserted. She always died fighting, nowhere near the city.

“Me too.” Steph sighed. “It’s so frustrating. I don’t get it.” Cass nodded.

“I feel wrong.” She added.

“Literally, same.” Steph shook her head in frustration and made to leave the bathroom. “Okay, good night’s sleep, we’ll work on it again tomorrow.”

Cass wanted to scream. She wanted to know, to know right now. Wanted to get this figured out.

“Whatever.” Was all she got out, Steph shrugged indifferently.

“Sleep will help your brain work better. It’s a scientific fact.” Cass followed her out into her bedroom.

There were purple crocs inside her closet.

She stepped closer.

“Cass, what are you-” Steph kept talking, but Cass couldn’t hear her anymore.

The holes on the crocs were filled.

Suddenly, she felt herself being pulled out of Steph’s room, her mind whisking her away into a memory she’d somehow forgotten, a memory that didn’t feel wrong - a memory that felt right a memory that-

The purple crocs were in her hands, she was in a small store, a crocodile painted on the wall behind her. Stephanie was laughing at Tim. He was wearing green crocs. Barbara was in the corner, chatting with Dick from her wheelchair. They were smiling fondly at each other. Love painted across everyone’s faces.

And she, was so happy. She was standing still, basking in the afternoon glow of the sun, and the warmth of those around her.

“Thanks for holding those for me, you want a pair too?” Steph bounced in front of her and plucked the crocs out of her hands, giving her a friendly wink.  

“I think you should get bright blue ones.” Dick suggested. Barbara snorted. They both were looking at her fondly.

“If she gets blue ones, you have to get yellow.” She pointed out.

“Yeah, that’s only fair.” Tim agreed. “As long as no one gets the same color we should be good.”

A pair of blue crocs were dropped in her hands. Her heart was expanding in her chest.

“Okay, everyone, she needs charms too, move it people!” Steph cried happily. Everyone dug in the bins surrounding them. Little icons, little… charms. The word sounded right. The blue crocs were right.

The memory faded out, and she found herself quickly falling asleep.

 She woke up before Steph. Silently, she tiptoed downstairs. Her crocs were full of charms.

for the character headcannons ask game, jason and cass?

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT im putting this one under a cut because it got SUPER long bc i cant shut up ever

lets start w jason

A (realistic headcanon): 

ok using the ‘realistic’ category here loosely but GOD i love the idea of Damian & Jason having interacted while Jason was staying with the League before getting dunked in the Lazarus Pit. like. this obviously would need to be set more in preboot and following the Lost Days & Batman Annual 25 version of Jason’s resurrection, but god the idea of it just makes me scream in a good way. Like... these are things Jason likely doesn’t remember very clearly once he’s brought back to life more fully by the pit because he was uh pretty catatonic, but Damian being a little kid and knowing about the boy that his mother keeps around the base, that she’s trying to help bring back to health. Damian not even knowing that’s his big brother, just that he’s a presence that shares his mother’s attention. Jason again being unresponsive but like, ok god you know that part of lost days where Talia shows the others observing him that he only fights back at those he perceives as genuine threats trying to hurt him, 

Because Jason can perceive that she’s safe, she’s not actually trying to hurt him, he trusts her because she saved him? thinking about lil child Damian who is ya know already being trained in fighting stuff and like the idea of him trying to provoke Jason just to see what happens but Jason not fighting back because on some level be it his connection to Talia or even little baby Damian visually reminding him of Bruce, he knows that Damian is safe too 🥺 

and then when Jason and Damian meet again in Gotham as Red Hood & Robin respectively, Jason not really remembering because there was so much going on back then for him, but Damian realizing that oh... that was Him

B (hilarious): 

alright so if we are looking at comics currently, in modern stuff jason is what, like 22? hes old enough to drink in the US but still definitely early 20s so around my around my age, thats what im using as a basis here. if we adjust timeline and still consider his death having happened when he was 15, that puts it around 2013. and then coming back to like interacting with people about three years later if we still kinda base things off of the preboot timeframe (since we never got a super solid retelling of the timeline of death -> resurrection -> training -> tries to get revenge aside from knowing he went to the all-caste instead of the lost days version of the story) making him reenter the regular world and stuff around age 18 in 2016. meaning a solid three years of pop culture that he was entirely missing, and like im sorry but he really doesn’t strike me as the type to bother looking into what he missed, he’s kinda busy focusing on other stuff. lets take a quick look at some major things from those years. 2013 gave us ‘what does the fox say’ and ‘the harlem shake’ . 2014 had that time U2 just put a fuckin album on everyone’s phones, The Fault In Our Stars movie came out. 2015 introduced the phrase ‘Netflix and Chill’ and the whole blue & black vs gold & white dress debate happened. imagine any of the other batkids (or even arguably roy during rhato stuff) bringing these things up and jason’s ensuing confusion. thank you for your time

C (heart-crushing): 

so. there are two specific instances from rebirth era Jason i want to bring up here and much like a lot of these it’s less a headcanon and more of an inference based on observations, but i wanna take a sec to discuss Jason’s relationship with other people’s death. early in rebirth, Tim ‘dies’ from that whole thing in detective comics. he didn’t actually die, we as readers know, but in-universe they all very much so thought he was dead. frustratingly a lot of the batfam wasn’t really shown mourning him aside from in the Detective Comics Rebirth title itself (which just. when a major character dies even if its temporary- that should have a ripple effect) BUT an exception to that is in RHATO 2016, where we get this offhanded comment in Jason’s internal monologuing

similarly later when Roy, who like, had an incredibly close relationship w Jason that had just gotten mended before Heroes in Crisis, gets fuckin murdered in that whole thing... Jason doesn’t go to his funeral either. He leaves a dramatic voice mail and then visits the grave on his own later, choosing to instead keep working on the mission they’d started rather than going and taking the time to mourn properly.

Jason’s relationship with death is incredibly complicated, obviously. He has died, he has come back, and he now is willing to cross the line most other bats won’t and will kill people when he deems it necessary. I think thats something important though- he doesn’t just like... go around killing for fun (usually, some writers preboot made him a little murder happy but even then usually this still was vaguely followed) he kills people he thinks deserved it. Like, even looking back at the mess of Morrison’s Jason during Batman & Robin 2009, Jason was still trying to bring a sense of justice with who he was killing (”punishment that fits the crime”), it wasn’t killing for the sake of killing. He sees things in this kind of almost black and white ‘people who deserve it’ and ‘people who don’t’ way, and he has no problem dealing with death when it’s with the people he thinks deserve it. 

but when someone who doesn’t in his mind ‘deserve it’ gets killed? i think he just goes into total avoidance mode. throws himself into other things he’s doing, tries not to dwell on it too much no matter how much he still thinks about it (this is especially evident in him consistently telling people “i’m fine!” after what happened to Roy, despite bringing Roy up literally like every few issues for a WHILE after he died and very clearly still struggling with it, Artemis is the only one who gets through to him on it a little bit) 

but yeah, I just think that from Jason’s relatively unique situation of having been murdered, he knows what it’s like and he is perfectly fine wishing that on people he thinks are bad and deserve it, but it crushes him to imagine the people he loves and cares about having to experience something as painful as what he went through. not to mention the whole “I came back, why do I get a second chance at all this when they, who are a much better person than I am, probably won’t” mindset we get some implications of him having 

D (canon is a coward and won’t) 

hello DC i am once again insisting a batfam member is bisexual

CASS TIME

A (realistic headcanon): 

ok so we know cass likes ballet. thats canon. however i think we also should in general explore cass experiencing other types of dance/performance as well, be it herself as a performer or even just watching. like... god imagine her & like my brain just automatically for group activities puts her with tim steph and duke but also for this in particular I feel would be a Jason embraced activity, but like them going to see a broadway show or some other professional theatre or something, and her just being enthralled by the reading of body language of the performers! like again by any point in current stuff cass does have like, the ability to speak fine (reading still hard tho) but even so I think like. okay im a theatre kid if that’s not obvious from the Everything About Me but one thing I always do after seeing a show is ya know spend dinner afterwards discussing it with whoever i saw it with.

I just think that like, bringing those people i just mentioned to the table to discuss seeing a show after would be so FASCINATING because cass would bring this whole perspective of critiquing their acting on a whole different level- not based on how well they delivered lines out loud, but by what their body language was saying as they moved on stage. like im very amused by the idea of cass getting a totally different picture in her mind about what a character’s motivations were because she was paying way more attention to what their physicality was saying vs the words that were written and how they were delivered. i think the debates her and the others would have would be EPIC there. jason defending the text as it was written adamantly and cass being like ‘ok yeah sure but thats not what they did’

B (hilarious): 

cass having no concept of money because why would she bother? is SO funny to me. like it’s not that she couldn’t be reasonable if she wanted to, but like, she knows that the Waynes are well off so it’s not something she actually needs to be concerned about, so she just goes hog wild. takes steph out to fancy dinners and makes steph order for them since cass ya know doesn’t really read the menus, and steph’s like ‘jesus christ this costs-” “don’t worry about it” “but cass-” and she just holds up one of bruce’s credit cards and steph’s still like “but you don’t even know the range-” “it is fine”

bruce does not have the heart to tell her to stop

C (heart-crushing): 

i mean this is pretty much canon but especially now after death metal where she’s remembering, not just being told by a guy using weird alternate timeline technology, that she used to be an adopted member of the Wayne family... like that hurts so bad. To look at these people who have ya know been kind to her, Bruce has still been a father-like figure to her (i mean literally from the moment they met in New 52 canon during the flashback in Batman & Robin Eternal, where he’s telling her that she’s not a monster just because of what people forced her to do.... that she’s a hero... that hug.... dad behavior), and they do to some extent treat her as family... But to then really know, to feel and remember that she was actually adopted! She was a part of their family. To look at how she’s been calling herself Orphan while working with them this whole time... that’s so heartbreaking! I have cried about this idea so much! I want so badly a conversation between her and Bruce now where he offers to officially adopt her again, I need it so bad and if it doesn’t happen at some point in the next year or two I will be so distraught.

D (canon is a coward and won’t) 

i want an in-depth exploration of cass’ relationship to her own gender. being raised without language and you know with so much of her life being independent (remember: CASS RAN AWAY AROUND THE WORLD WITHOUT REALLY KNOWING ANY SPOKEN LANGUAGE) and outside of an organized society impressing too much of gender expectations on her, i feel like the way she experiences it would be very unique! like sure she’s so far been fine with being assigned ‘girl’ (ya know that comes with batgirl, and how people just automatically treated her based on how she looks) but in terms of gender expression and like her actual relationship with ‘traditional femininity’ etc like... because of how she was raised I just think she’d have a really different perspective on it that could be cool to explore, and I think she’d fall outside of the binary after she really thinks about how she identifies.

tldr on that: she/they nb cass is what i’m getting at here

| JayDick | Street! Batfam

Talon!Dick/Street Kid! Jason

JayDick Story idea!!! Sorry, I couldn't resist, people never really mention Dick getting sent to Juvie. So why not mention that and though in Street kid Jason the court of owls. The batfam come pretty early on or in the first two years of this whole thing so here you go...

Can DC do a earth where Dick meets Jason on the Streets while looking for Tony Zoucco, and they form their own kid protection gang? Dick could be from Juvie or just ran away from being a Talon (he could also be mute). Dick is the guy who seems into the rafters to get blackmail on the other gangs, and is like a shadow or assassin of the gang. Jason is a street kid that knows all the rumors and secret passages/hideaways of the Streets and is the leader of the gang and is called the Red Hood(ie).

They could like Taken in or are sponsored by Tim who is like an honorary Street kid because he knows Street stuff cause he follows Batman and takes pics... Steph could just be following her dad and find the place and then give them a heads up about the Rouge Gallery Rumors...

And Cass runs away/is ordered to keep Dami safe and Goes to Gotham to find Damis Dad and be safe cause she doesn't want to kill and runs into Tim bc she's stalking Batman and sees him or finds Steph the lookout for her father, and they take them to the gang.

About 1-2 year's later when the gangs basically independentlly stable, batman, not Bruce Wayne, bassicly adopts the whole gang or/and Jason becomes a crime lord to control crime with his same drug rules (No kids, or pregnant people) only killing thoughts that are rapists, don't kill for a reason, are human traffickers, or ecedra.

Dick could still become a hero and become Nightwing or he could become Jason's enforcer, Tim could manage the money or strategies, Dami I hope would be Dicks child or closes brother and I would hope for a jaydick fic...

Cass could be an enforcer too, or be like Dami and/or Tim’s bodyguard. Steph I think would cause chaos and probably be a small-time hero just being more focused on protecting the gang or being there for the little guys

now I haven't really mentioned Babs but I think she would be a mix of Batgirl and Oracle. Since she is pretty alone and being the first sidekick or child hero she relies more on the police info and eavesdropping before Batman/Batwomen takes her under their wing.

Honestly I think Dick after he learns how to fight to teach the other Street kids, (He learns in Juvie and Batman, or he learns bc talon training) but when he teaches Jason they both have to learn to accommodate Jasons street style and it's the first time Dick feelings something negative towards Jason, or first time they have a fight, or first time Jason yells at Dick...

I just realized that a way they could meet!!! Dick is sent to gather info on Tony Zucco for The court of owls after he kills him he will become a full talon, and so he's snooping in the rafters of a warehouse. Jason was lifting the Batmobiles tires and Joker decided to Torcher him for shits and giggles. So Dick stumbles upon Joker beating Jason and has a flashback to Juvie and so with his new instincts accidentally kills the joker and saves Jason. Jason has some broken fingers, a fractured hand(or something, and a concussion. This leads him to go towards the panicking Talon, who according to his mum's stories will cut off his head if he is bad, and is like I owe you one if you need a place to lay low my place is open. At this point Jason hugs Talon and faints, Talon hides in the rafters, and only leaves after he sees Batman treating Jason. Talon gets punished or something, but anyway He goes out over the next few weeks getting info on Tony Zucco and finding/checking in on Jason. Or Jason could help him by telling Talon about gang rumors and Batman gets a tracker on him at some point. So after Talon kills Tony Zucco he comes back to a destroyed court panics and runs to Jason's fire escape because that's where they normally talk and Jason is what Jason defines a friend as. So Talon is like if I teach you to fight I can stay, and Jasons like you could've stayed anyways if you earn your keep. And Batman's like shit there is a Talon who is a child so low impulse control is out there, gotta find him.

Please Message me the link if you make/made a fix like this, please! Especially if this inspired it!!! 🥺 Please!!!

Living is Harder

Read here on AO3!

Summary:

Tim drops the knife like it’s white-hot. Oh, god. Oh, god.

Tim did this. He was...he didn’t mean it. He didn’t. He would never. But the man was on top of him and Tim couldn’t breathe, and...he didn’t mean it.

Tim is walking home from Steph’s house, his light-up Sketchers the only things illuminating his path through the Gotham night. He stayed out later than he planned, utterly captivated in the Among Us tournament he and Steph were playing against their Titan friends all the way in San Francisco. (And Tim would have gotten away with the murders too, if it weren’t for that meddling Bart Allen who stared Tim down every time he killed a player, watching it happen but never reporting until Tim finally cracked from the shame and called an emergency meeting on himself.)

Tim rode in Steph’s car on the way to her house, but forgot that it would mean he’d be without a ride home. Steph offered to drive him back to the manor, that she doesn’t mind losing a measly hour of sleep, but Tim insisted he didn’t mind walking. Besides, it’s not like it was a lie. Sure, it’s Gotham, which means Tim can see drug deals going down on street corners and the occasional drunkard puking into a trash can, but Tim feels at peace here.

It brings him back to his early days of climbing fire escapes, tailing Batman and Robin under the cloak of night in the hopes to get just one more photo for his collection. It was a simpler time with fewer psychotic clowns—back then it was just the one, and all he did was tell shitty jokes and occasionally tie Robin up over a swimming pool filled with Jokerized sharks. Nowadays it’s all grotesque murders and creepy masks made of human skin. Where’s the showmanship? Where’s the pizzazz? Disgusting. Deplorable. Lazy beyond all reason. Tim is insulted by the lack of artistic ability in these new Jokers, and you may quote him on that. Regardless, Tim takes comfort in knowing that if something did go wrong, Cass is patrolling somewhere a good five blocks ahead. Maybe he can track her down and pick them up some corn dogs. He’s currently in the Red Hood’s territory, but whether Jason is around at the moment is a gamble at best. His schedule is harder to tamp down than a solid answer on Ted Cruz: Zodiac Killer. Jason might not even be in Gotham right now; he could be in space for all anyone knows. Sometimes Tim feels like Jason is more of a feral cat than a brother, which isn’t too far off, really. Tim happens upon an empty beer can on the sidewalk in front of a boarded-up store that he’s fairly certain used to be an adult film shop. Good ol’ Gotham City. He stoops down to pick up the crinkled can like the good samaritan he is and drops it into a trash can at the mouth of a nearby alley. He wipes his hands on his jeans, designer style be damned. That’s when Tim is grabbed from behind, a hand reaching up to cover his mouth and muffle his shout. He’s pulled into the alley and pushed up against a wall, the bricks digging into his back and knocking the breath from his lungs. Shit, shit, shit. How could he have been taken by surprise so easily? It’s hard to make out his attacker in the shadowed alley, the only discernible features being dark eyes and bared yellow teeth—never a good sign. Tim’s hands are pinned together above him in a strong grip, practically wrenching his shoulders from the sockets. He tries to scream, but the man’s disgusting hand presses harder against his mouth. Tim freezes when he feels the poke of a knife at his throat, digging into the skin just below his Adam’s apple. “Make a sound and I’ll gut you,” his attacker says, his voice a low rumble. The stench of cigarettes and alcohol assaults Tim’s sinuses and makes his stomach roll. He’s going to have to be careful about this. Robin could get out of this hold in five different ways with varying degrees of injury to the opponent, but a civilian couldn’t. Even if the only witness is a low-life scumbag, he shouldn’t run the risk. Better to wait until he’s at the point of no return to bust out the Robin moves. Instead, Tim goes for the oldest trick in the book and knees the man in the crotch, hard. It has the desired effect and the grip on Tim’s wrists slackens, the man dropping him with a grunt. Tim ducks out of range and makes a run for it. If he can just get to the street, he should be home free. Even in Gotham City, there are always witnesses to help out a poor, defenseless teenager under attack. Tim almost makes it to the sidewalk when he’s grabbed by the hair, crying out as he’s thrown violently to the ground. Then there’s weight on top of him, pinning his shoulders to the dirty ground under his back. Tim fights, kicking out and delivering purposeful hits under the guise of a panicked struggle. “You little shit,” the man spits. He’s still got a hold on Tim’s hair, which he uses to slam Tim’s head against the pavement so hard that Tim goes blind for a good ten seconds, his head spinning. The back of his scalp feels wet, and he hates to think about what bacteria must be lurking on the ground beneath him. The knife clatters somewhere to Tim’s side and he’s almost relieved until a hand wraps around his throat, cutting off his next breath. Instinct plunges him into panic, choking on the lack of air and scrambling to get a hold on his attacker. Scratching, kicking, desperately trying to loosen the grip crushing his windpipe. “You didn’t have to make this so difficult,” the man tells him. His body presses down on Tim’s smaller form, keeps him trapped against the unforgiving asphalt, and this is it. This is the point of no return he’s been waiting for, but now Tim is here and he can’t do anything about it. Not even Robin could get out of this without a weapon, and Tim has none. He’s powerless. The creep releases Tim’s hair with a whisper of, “Don’t move.” Before he can do anything more with his newly freed hand, though, Tim’s body is thrown into action faster than he can comprehend moving at all. The world goes hazy, time itself turning to molasses. Absently Tim feels muscles flex, sees shapes move in front of his eyes, but someone else might as well be controlling Tim’s body while he’s locked in the backseat, missing the entire ride. One minute Tim is on his back with the creep on top of him, and after a chunk of time that Tim can’t remember participating in, he’s standing against the alley wall with something clutched in his hand. Tim blinks back the fog, but it lingers. He looks down and studies the way his fingers clasp the handle of the knife. That can’t be right. He wasn’t holding a knife before. Tim comes back to his body in increments, a stop-motion reel. First there’s a stinging ache on the back of his head, blood soaking into the back of his shirt and plastering his hair against his neck. His gaze slips from the glinting knife to the blood that covers his hands, warm and sticky. Then he catches a shape on the ground in front of him and Tim’s breath catches in his throat. The man from before is on the ground now, his eyes closed and blood spreading from a stab wound directly over his sternum. Tim drops the knife like it’s white-hot. Oh, god. Oh, god. Tim did this. He was...he didn’t mean it. He didn’t. He would never. But the man was on top of him and Tim couldn’t breathe, and...he didn’t mean it. Tim staggers back until his back hits the cold brick wall, his pulse pounding in his ears so loud the entire city must hear it. He just stabbed a person. He just killed a person. The one rule he’s supposed to follow, the one thing he promised never to do, and he just did it. Without even a second’s hesitation. He took a life. What is Bruce going to say when he finds out? Tim’s legs are made of jello, wobbling in warning until they give out entirely and he slides to the ground, knees pulled in close to his chest. His hands are still covered in blood. A dead man’s blood. He should...he should do something. He should act. First-aid, stop the bleeding, do whatever it takes to help in case there’s a chance. Tim doesn’t move. He doesn’t even try. His limbs have been replaced with rubber, his brain with slush. He just killed a man. In the back of his mind he knows he can’t go home, not like this. Not covered in another man’s blood. Even if he tried, Tim isn’t sure he’d make it two steps without collapsing into a puddle of whatever emotion is making him feel as though he’s rotting from the inside out. His family lives by a code, would sooner die themselves than take a life. Bats don’t kill. Tim doesn’t kill. Tim killed. His fingers shake as they take out his cell phone on autopilot, and the screen is cracked at the corner from when he was slammed into the ground. That’s going to cost money to fix. Tim gets blood on the screen, smudging over his contact list and warping the names. He finds the one he’s looking for and puts the phone to his ear. A ring. Two rings. A click. “This had better be important,” Jason says. Tim swallows. “Um. I—um.” He can’t take his eyes off of the body, lying there still as a corpse. Because it is a corpse. “My...head isn’t working. It’s—something is wrong. With me.” “Are you high or something? Because if you are, I’ll fucking kill you.” That does it. What little resolve Tim held on to cracks in one clean split and a sob bursts through. He covers his mouth with his elbow, choking on gasps. “Jay, I—it was an accident. I swear to god, I didn’t mean to. He was...it wasn’t...I didn’t mean to.” There’s a creak on the other end, maybe Jason sitting up in his chair. Or maybe he just sat down. Maybe he closed a door. Too many things in the world are creaky. “What the hell are you talking about? What happened?” “He’ll kick me out. He’s gonna take Robin away from me.” Something slams—definitely a door. “Kid, tell me where you are.” “I don’t know. It was—” His brain isn’t working. For the first time in his life, logic and reason escape him and Tim’s mind pushes into overdrive, drags him deeper and deeper into oblivion. Bruce is going to find out. He’s going to find out and he’s going to hate Tim for the rest of his life. Bruce doesn't like murderers. “Goddamn it. Tim, listen to me. Can you do that?” It takes a moment, but Tim manages to get out an affirming noise. “I’m going to track your phone and come get you. Don’t move, got it? Stay right where you are. I’ll be there soon.” Jason hangs up, leaving Tim alone again. He drops his phone back on the concrete, uncaring of potential breaks. It’s already been cracked. “He’s going to kick me out,” Tim repeats to the empty alleyway. ------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tim is cold by the time Jason arrives. Or maybe he’s been cold this entire time. It’s hard to tell. “Fuck,” Jason swears as he takes in the scene before him. The body on the pavement. Tim, huddled against the alley wall, his eyes glazed over as he stares at the body like a horror movie he can’t turn off. Jason isn’t wearing his helmet, just a domino mask. He takes it off when he kneels in front of Tim, makes Tim meet his eyes. “Hey, kid. You with me?” “I killed him.” The words taste acrid on Tim’s tongue, sour. “Don’t worry about that now. Are you hurt anywhere?” Tim doesn’t answer. The back of his head stung before, but the pain is muffled now. Everything is muffled. “I killed him, Jay. I’m a murderer. Bruce is...I’m not supposed to kill. Robins don’t kill. They don’t.” His chest is tight, getting tighter by the minute until it feels like every breath is being sucked in through a tiny straw. “Tim, breathe,” Jason tells him. He puts his hand on Tim’s shoulder, and that helps a little. Gives him something to latch onto. “You’re in shock. Try putting your head between your knees.” Tim does, stares down at the dirty pavement between his sneakers. His eyes linger on an old fast food receipt. It has droplets of blood on it. “I don’t know what happened, I really don’t. He was—it was an accident. He was on top of me and he had a knife and then he was choking me and...I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe, so I just—I just moved. And now he’s dead. I killed him. What am I going to do?” “It was self-defense,” Jason says, as if the answer could really be so simple. “If you hadn’t acted, he would have hurt you. Maybe even killed you. You did the right thing.” “No, it’s—” Tim picks his head up, digs his nails into his knees to keep himself above the fog. “No. I took a life. I’m guilty. I can’t—there’s no coming back from that. There isn’t.” How can he live with himself after this? Does he even deserve to? “What, so you would rather be dead than have to tell Bruce you took a life? Seriously?” “Yes.” There’s no hesitation, not even a pause to let the words soak in. Jason sighs, and Tim is too far gone to decipher what it means. He squeezes Tim’s shoulder once and stands, goes over to the body still lying on the ground. (As if a dead man would go anywhere.) Jason crouches down and takes off one of his gloves, presses two fingers over the man’s neck. After a moment or two, he lets out a breath. “He’s still alive.” Tim’s breath hitches. “Really? Are you sure?” “Pulse is thready, but he’s not dead.” All of the air leaves Tim’s lungs in one huge whoosh, making him lightheaded. “Oh my god. That’s…” That’s good, right? It’s a good thing. It should be a good thing. “Yup. That’s one hell of a relief.” Jason straightens up from his crouch. He reaches into his jacket, pulls out a gun, and fires it into the man’s head. “Jason!” It happens so fast that Tim doesn’t even have the capacity to think about the blood and brain matter splattered over Jason’s clothes, Tim’s shoes, the cracks in the alley’s pavement. “How could you—” “What? It’s not like he was going to walk it off or anything.” “We just—” Tim’s stomach churns. It feels like he’s going to be sick. “We just killed a man.” “No, I killed a man.” Jason holsters his gun, then kicks the body in the side for good measure. “You, however, are off the hook.” “What are you talking about? I stabbed him.” The knife is around here somewhere. That’s evidence. Proof of what happened tonight, what Tim did. What Jason finished. “And I shot him in the head. One of those is worse than the other.” “But I—” “No,” Jason snaps. He lowers himself to look Tim in the eyes. “You didn’t. Kill. Anyone. Got it? I killed him. Your slate is still clean.” “There’s a body. Evidence. I still did this.” Jason grabs the bloody knife and tucks it into his jacket. “No, the Red Hood did this. He cornered the guy in an alley, stabbed him, then shot him in the face. That’s what happened.” Tim shakes his head. “You can’t. You can’t take the fall for me.” “I’m not. I’m the one who killed him, right? I’m just taking responsibility for my own actions, which nobody is going to look twice at because this is the third one this week.” Jason takes Tim by the arm, pulling him upright and keeping him steady when he wobbles. “What about Bruce?” “We’ll tell him the truth. That you got attacked by some creep, I killed his slimy ass like he deserved, and then I let you crash at my place for the night to make sure you were safe. That’s it. Understand?” Tim isn’t sure if he does or not. He’s too numb to attempt puzzling it out, but he does know one thing he can say. “Thanks, Jason.” “Don’t mention it. Just try not to puke on me until we get to my place and I’ll call us even.”

Waynesitter Enforces Quarantine

✧ Unfortunately for you, you had overslept at the Wayne Manor when the mayor of Gotham announced a city-wide lockdown. You’lre officially stuck in the Manor for months.      “Don’t worry, Y/N. You’ll be paid during your stay here.”      “Mister Wayne, money’s not the issue here. It’s you and your kids.”

✧ Of course, when did vigilantes ever follow the rules?

✧ Now more than ever, everyone was sneaking out into the night to fight bad guys who are taking advantage of the dead streets and stockpiled houses. Every time they come home you make them line up and water them down with a high-pressure hose.     “Is this!” “Really!” “Necessary!”       “Dick, the more you open your mouth, the worst it’s gonna get.”

✧ You spend most of your mornings vigorously wiping down their costumes. This is the most dangerous job you’ve had so far because the gloves would sometimes eject sharp talons or the chest symbol will electrocute you.

✧ It’s also the most bizarre because you keep finding random things in their utility belts. Jason has hundreds of candy wrappers tucked away in each bag. Lemon flavored.

✧ Tim has receipts for coffee at different convenient stores. Some receipts have two cups or there are 5 receipts just from one night.

✧ Dick has different kinds of pieces of paper and tissues with numbers and names written on them. He chuckles that he forgot about them and just heaves them into the trash.

✧ Damian’s pockets are the cleanest. So clean that you find him always replenishing his stock. You stare at him and wonder if you wish he was actually using them all every night or stocking them up somewhere to be used on his brothers later.

✧ Cassandra’s... you stare at the picture you pull out from the smallest pouch. It’s a picture of everyone in the family, wrinkled and creased, folded several times over. It’s from the game night you had played months ago and Tim set up cameras to make sure no one cheated. You remind yourself to ask for a copy later.

✧ Bruce never lets you touch his suit. You argue that Alfred taught you how to clean it. No scent. But he doesn’t relent. So you give him the supplies and let him do it himself.

✧ But it’s Alfred who does it and you complain that you offered. That you know how. That you’re careful. It’s not like you’ve been injured this morning. Alfred smiles and asks for your assistance to start making breakfast instead.

✧ For the first time in a long time, it’s always a full house at meal times. It makes your heart feel warm and fuzzy seeing all of the empty chairs filled in and laughter hovering over the meal.

✧ Of course this also meant there’s a lot more shouting and fighting and food being flung over your heads. Or in your face, especially when Jason keeps using you as a shield against Tim’s asaults.     “God if you exist, please let this be over soon.”

✧ Things started to look serious when one of the thugs coughed in Tim’s face. Dick quickly offered an assist and wiped his face down, screaming for Tim to close his eyes and not breathe. While Bruce and Jason dropped the goon at the hospital for a test.

✧ You were all relieved to hear that the thug tested negative. But this struck a nerve in you and you put your foot down, along with Alfred and Cass’s support. No one was allowed outside anymore. Gotham be damned.

✧ You lock up everyone’s suits and sealed every exit you can think of. For good measure, Barbara talked you through bugging the boys and Bruce so you can see if they’re still within the compound.

✧ Tim was more than happy to comply. He doesn’t want another scare like that and he could use the time to catch up on some paperwork for his classes. He pines away in the study, grading papers.

✧ Dick whines a lot. No matter which room you’re in, you can hear his voice fake-crying about Bludhaven, the citizens, and the fresh air. You hear muffled sounds every now and then which means Jason has had enough and thrown a book at him. In the end, he joins Tim in the study to do some detective work.

✧ Jason’s always in there too. Calmly reading a book. It’s so strange to see. You always give him tea and some snacks and he chats with you about which part he’s on before going back to reading. You would scheme with Alfred to buy more books in the same genres or from the same authors because at this rate Jason’s going to run out books before the quarantine is over. And you don’t want to find out how cabin fever will look on him.

✧ Cass stays in the training room. Music blasting against the walls. She dances the days away. You would go in every other hour to make sure she’s hydrated and taking breaks. You also stay a while to watch because it’s so hypnotizing. Her moves are deadly and graceful.

✧ Damian spends half of his days locked in his room. Then when he gets sick of being alone, he follows you around the manor while you tend to his siblings and do chores around the place. He waits patiently, but not quietly, until you’re done. Then it’s time.

✧ The two of you would always make a fort in the living room and have a makeshift projector that displays the stars above you. You would lay there and compare stories of your childhood. Despite the gore and horror, you’re always amazed at how much he has done and survived. And he found yours odd.

✧ After spending all day in the cave monitoring and deploying his new bat drones (you snorted at the name) to fight crime in his stead, Bruce would join you in the fort. He would always say the password, making you and Damian snicker. He’d raise his eyebrows at the two of you before plopping down next to Damian and stargaze at your fake stars.

✧ An hour before dinner, the fort would be full and everyone is fighting for the chance to tell stories from their past, their childhood, and hints of secret plans lined up when the quarantine is over.

✧ Alfred promptly gets up to start making dinner and you leave to help him. You brace yourself before you call them into the dining room, for the worst part of the evening. “Are you ready for war, Y/N?”     “Never. Can’t we just eat in the fort? Everyone seems to be more calm when they’re lying on the floor and not looking at each other.”

✧ Watchtower Masterlist ✧

Gala and “I’m allergic to bullshit.”

Word count: 2244

Link for it on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26180371

Notes: Hey! This was beta'd by @3ambird​ , who is an amazing sweetheart and improves evertything they touch. Thank you for the help!

Galas were never fun. Bruce had hated them as a kid, and hated them as teen, and he hates them as an adult. Still, he has to maintain appearances, so he always attends. And as his family grew, his kids were forced to attend as well.

Dick Grayson was particularly good at socializing. After he moved past his teenage rage, of course. He used to get in passive aggressive arguments with the rich CEOs and company owners all the time. He still does, but at least now he was good at it to the point where it almost couldn’t be recognized as an argument, instead of jumping on the necks of greedy millionaires that bought land out of poor people.

That was an interesting headline.

Jason sucked at galas. Soon enough, he figured out that if he started enough awkward conversations, people wouldn’t want to talk to him anymore. Especially the creepy single older women, pinching his cheeks and squeezing his biceps.

“Say, Claire, what’s your opinion on the alarming rate at which the bees are disappearing? They say that’s because of all the chemicals we put in our food.” He’d smile, carefully holding his glass. Bruce would struggle to hide his gasp, because Jason, that’s the owner of the highest earning pesticides company in the country.

“Well, Roger, I’m certain that the legalization of abortions would be a great thing, considering that now your mistresses won’t have to be sent overseas to terminate the unwanted preganancies you give them, right?” He’d say, and Bruce would nearly have a heart attack, because Jason, that’s the president of Gotham’s conservative party.

“Oh, you see, Sandra, I think that gay marriage should not only be legalized, but encouraged. If straight couples were to cease existing, then no more children would be born, and honestly, no one needs any more of those snotty gremlins running around, ruining perfectly good tapestry.” And Bruce would faint, because Jason, for God’s sake, that is the leader of the Gotham’s Motherhood Association.

Tim wasn’t all that bad. He could be social with a little effort, and he was far more used to galas than any of the other family members, having grown up attending them. Of course, all of that was only valid when he wasn’t sleep deprived, which, considering all he had on his plate, was roughly 32% of the time. When he was running on three hours of sleep and seven cups of caffeine a day, trying to finish a project, run his share of the Wayne Enterprises, and manage school work, he became a bit more irritable and impatient. And extremely impulsive. Which is mainly why Bruce asked Dick to stand by his brother through most of the night.

“We both know you’re his impulse control, Dick.” He said, adjusting his oldest son’s tie “Remember what happened the last time he was left unattended for fifteen minutes?”

“He got into an argument with a young Creationist and dunked his own head in an ice bowl after screaming ‘Fuck God! I can hear colors and dinosaurs rule!’” Dick sighed, “Yeah, I’ll keep an eye on him.”

Cass despised them, but Bruce insisted she should attend anyway. More often than not, she’d just stay at the table, tasting as many appetizers as the waiters would bring her, and shooting murderous looks at anyone who sneered at her. Bruce was relieved that at least she wasn’t cracking any bones.

Damian was... Better than Jason and worse than Dick. He had an unamused expression through most of the event, and would unceremoniously swat away any hands that tried to pinch his cheeks. Other than that, he wasn’t much trouble. The real trouble were galas all Wayne kids attended. The five of them could cause enough trouble when they were apart, together they were the embodiment of chaos.

And this was supposed to be a calm, slightly boring family evening. It really was.

But Bruce just had to bring all five of them.

Everything had to go just right. As they walked in through the red carpet, the media was eating up the image of the six Waynes dressed formally; Each of them had a tie color matching their hero uniform (a cheeky thing they enjoyed doing to play with the theorists minds), Dick had a dark blue one, Tim and Jason slightly varying tones of red, Damian had a green one and Bruce had a black one. Cass wore a long black dress that sparkled when it was hit by the light in just the right way.

The first sign was the reporter, who, while aggressively pointing a microphone in their faces, asked pushy questions about relationships and the like, nothing out of the ordinary, until he shoved it in Cass’ face and asked her if she could even speak. Jason almost broke the man’s nose. Bruce silently thanked God for Dick, who stepped in front of the man before that happened.

“Try some shit like that again pal, you’ll hear from our lawyers.” He led his sister inside, a protective hand on her back.

They calmed down. And Bruce still had hopes that this would be a quiet evening.

Looking back at it, he doesn’t know why.

Because as Dick and Cass were at the bar, ordering drinks, a woman stood next to them, trying to make small talk. Neither of them seemed too interested in her; she is a hassle at every gala, making weird advances on all of the boys. Today, however, she was a little more tipsy, and Bruce couldn’t quite make out what exactly the conversation was about, but Dick was clearly uncomfortable and Cass was fuming. The woman kept grabbing at him, sliding her hands over his tie, squeezing his arms. And then she squeezed his ass, and it took Cass less than a second to break her nose.

If they were any other family, Cass would have been thrown out of the party, but they were the Waynes, and you do not throw a Wayne out of a party. If she punched a middle-aged woman, then she punched a middle-aged woman. Bring her a glass of water and some ice for her injured hand.

Of course, it didn’t end there.

Bruce was still surprised he didn’t have gray hairs yet.

Because Damian had discovered and made friends with a stray cat in the garden, and Jason had a laser pointer, because of course Jason had a laser pointer, and the cat ended up knocking down not one, not two, but three expensive pieces of pottery, shattering them on the gravel floor. And when the house owner saw the damage, he turned pale and had to hold back his tears. Jason laughed.

“-tt-.” Damian stated, adjusting his suit “You owe that cat a favour,those vases ruined the garden’s aesthetic. Regardless, I’m sure father will be more than happy to compensate you for the damages.”

He walked back to the party slowly, passing by the man who would need some time to make it back.

Once Jason broke him the news, Bruce thought (and hoped) that that would be it.

But no, the night was young, and there was so much time left and the batsibilings for sure wouldn’t waste it.

The previous statement about sleep deprived Tim?

Well.

Tonight, he had to pick a fight with an essential-oil-loving, antivax mother. Simply because he liked to torture himself. And because nobody realised he was alone until Bruce spotted him in the crowd, eye twitching as a woman rambled about all the heavy metals and chemicals that vaccines had in them. He thought about getting to him, but he knew it was too late. There was no going back now.

“Well, you see Karen,” He started.

“Uuum, my name’s Patricia.” She interrupted.

“I’m a billionaire’s heir, I don’t give a shit.” He said “Anyways. As I was saying, the thing is, I’d rather take the chance of being injecting myself with mercury than, oh, I don’t know, get meningitis and fucking die?”

The circle went quiet. Another woman, wanting to dissipate the tension, tried to restart the conversation.

“I-I mean, I don’t understand why can’t they make something safer, right? Like, when we used to throw those smallpox parties, why won’t they make something that works like that? So that we can build a natural immunity instead of all of those chemicals.” She laughed awkwardly.

Tim slapped his own face so hard that it attracted a lot of eyes.

“How. Do. You. Think. Vaccines. Work. Susan?”

“M-my name is Mary.”

“I don’t give a fuck.” He answered. And just in time, Dick swooped in.

“Hey, Timmy!” He greeted “Can I borrow this guy for a second?” He didn’t wait for an answer as he guided Tim out to the garden.

“Fucking idiots.” He muttered “I don’t know how they have so much money. They’re all fucking idiots, Dick. I’m surrounded by dumbasses.”

“There, there.” He said “Okay, we’re far enough.” He looked around “Go ahead.”

And Tim let out the most horrendous, rage filled scream any of those guests had ever heard. Because of course they heard it. Bruce sighed and shrunk on his chair.

“Better?” Dick asked as he finished, patting his back.

“So much.” Tim answered.

“You should’ve slept a little before this.”

“No way. I’m totally fine.” He answered “I had three cans of monster before we left, so I feel great.” Dick raised an eyebrow, worried.

“Whatever you say, buddy.” He led him back inside, tidying up his brother’s hair “Just... No more picking fights with moms tonight, okay?”

And Bruce thought that was enough. Bruce was certain that this would be the last incident.

But his kids just loved proving him wrong.

He thought that the best strategy would be to ask them to stick together, so that Dick’s responsibility and social skills would keep his feral siblings under control. He should’ve known it would backfire.

The last he checked, they were making small talk with some CEOs on the edge of the room, away from the dance floor. Jason, Cass and Damian seemed completely bored, Tim was clenching his jaw for some reason, and Dick tried his best to look polished and polite.

“So, I heard that Wayne Enterprises have a new project?” One of them asked, chest so projected forwards it looked like it was about to explode.

“Yes. Yes we do.” Dick said, smiling politely “We’re opening up a refugee housing program.”

“Oh, so that’s what those buildings are for?”

“Yes, exactly!” He exclaimed, opening his arms in a seemingly natural manner “We are building apartments to shelter them. It’s nothing fancy, but we can charge a cheaper rent than most, and not charge at all for the first six months, giving them a chance to properly establish themselves here.”

“Well, I must say,” Puffed up chest guy stated, “I can’t see why not to give them to good old Americans instead. There’s a lot of homeless people nowadays, you see.” He leaned forward as he talked.

Damian perked his head up, but didn’t say anything. Cass and Jason seemed to be listening. Tim’s left eye twitched.

“Actually,” Tim started “The company has very stable, successful projects to help the homeless.”

“I’m familiar with those, yes.” He arrogantly dismissed the teen “But, you see, I just can’t understand why not open the housing to tax paying Americans instead of some...”

“Potential terrorists?” Damian suggested, arms crossed, scowl on his face.

“...Foreigners.” He completed.

“Well, since you ask, we are currently planning on the possibility of eventually opening vague apartments to Americans too.” Dick answered, swirling the liquid in his glass around “But the priority now really are the refugees.”

“I don’t see why can’t we prioritize our own people.” He insisted “I’m simply concerned for the well being of our poorest patriots.”

Dick blinked.

And here’s why Bruce should have known it would backfire.

Because, yes, Dick was able to cool them down...

But they were able to fire him up.

And so, like the charismatic man he was, he covered his nose a little, rubbing at the end, and faked a loud sneeze.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” He started “You see, I have this strange condition.” Dick stared at the man in the eye, the guy who had bought an old building people were squatting at, just to demolish it and doom them to the streets with no care or compensation, and, knowing this and so much more, said “I’m allergic to bullshit.”

And his siblings went feral again.

Tim and Jason screamed an ‘Oooooooooh!’, Damian pointed at the man and laughed loudly, and Cass snorted, covering her mouth in surprise.

Dick didn’t break eye contact as he drank the last of his champagne.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me,” He said “I have to go look for better company.” Dick left the empty glass at the nearest table and adjusted his suit, smiling “Have a nice evening.”

As he walked away, the gang followed close behind, all of them very excited about how Dick, the composed, calm, cool, polite and polished Dick Grayson-Wayne, had just burned a millionaire in front of his economic allies. As the party reached Bruce, the man once again seemed to sink into his chair. Dick sat next to him, radiating confidence and charm.

“Do I wanna know?” The man asked.

“No,” Dick answered, grinning but not looking at the man “No you don’t.”

Things I’ve managed to convince myself are canon:

Dick was born in Romania and spent his entire childhood traveling with the circus not once settling down therefore when his parents died in America (supposedly just another country they stopped in) he was forced to stay there. Meaning dick was an illegal immigrant for a long time while Bruce constantly was trying to use his money and power to get Dick legal without him leaving the country OR anyone finding out

This also means Dick couldn’t really speak English when he moved in with Bruce (this is backed up by him constantly dismantling the English language in the YJ cartoon)

All of the bat kids were bullied brutally in school

Bruce encouraged them to fight back just like Alfred did with him (“never throw the first punch but if get hit make sure they’re the ones that stay down”)

Dick spent a couple weeks in juvie after his parents died and it was the worst couple weeks of his life

Dick had a childhood crush on Wally (who is straight) when dick was 16 he sat Wally down and told him. He told him he expected nothing out of this confession he just hated feeling like he was lying to Wally, Wally understood and was really nonchalant about it nothing changed in their relationship

Jason grew up loving wonder woman and considered her his greatest inspiration in being a hero when he was robin

In return Diana absolutely adored Jason

When Jason got older his respect for Diana only grew and Diana constantly stood up for him, even going as far as (subtly) threatening Bruce a couple times

Jason can’t handle the smell of drugs at all, he always has to wear a filtered mask during drug busts just in case

Jason used to smoke but ever since coming back the smoke just reminds him of the explosion (I saw this somewhere I can’t remember where shout out to you tho)

Jason hates the color green

Tim was severely neglected as a child

Tim learned multiple different languages from all the nanny’s he’s had

Tim is an amazing photographer

All of Bruce’s kids are really close with Selina and go to her to talk or just if they need a break from Bruce and she absolutely adores it

This is one of the main reasons Bruce wanted to marry her

Bruce might be a little awkward and socially inept but he is a good father and loves all of his kids and even tho he might slip up sometimes he would NEVER (I’m looking at you Tim king) NEVER EVER intentionally hurt one of his kids physically or mentally BECAUSE THAT IS EXTEREMELY OUT OF CHARACTER @ ANY WRITER WHO HAS MADE BRUCE A JERK GOD LEARN YOUR CHARACTER JEEZ

Damian is a phenomenal artist and is considered a prodigy

It is something he keeps to himself however

Both Dick and Tim have gone and worked under Selina during thier robin days for a few weeks

The only person who is close to Dicks level when it comes to acrobatics is Selina

There are days where you are only allowed to speak in your native tongue to help Everyone keep up their language skills (Tim speaks Filipino dick speaks Romani Jason speaks Italian Stephanie speaks Portuguese Damian speaks Arabic bruce switches Cassie speaks Chinese) these are the days duke feels like slamming his head through a wall

All of the bat kids have green lantern shirts

Tim has a habit of stealing clothes from literally anyone

Tim prefers tea over coffee

Ace and Titus are both trained service dog however Titus is Damians specifically while Ace is trained to alert Alfred of Bruce and to alert Bruce of Dick Tim and Jason

Bruce is think about getting another dog for Cassie steph and duke because he doesn’t want to overwhelm Ace with 3 more people

Nobody in that spoiled family except for Jason and Alfred can make ANYTHING other that ramen cereal and toast

Dick is insanely healthy because that’s how he grew up in the circus AND the manor

Bruce once lit the refrigerator on fire trying to cook. No one knows how. He denies he ever did such to this day

Dick was considered a heartthrob as a teen and actually was featured on vogue in native dress and took the opportunity to talk about his culture

Vickie was fuming but so was Lois

Dick dresses like Harry styles. Convince me otherwise. I dare you.

However his go to look is a Hawaiian short tucked into black skinny jeans and black converse

Just like Selina everyone in the batfamily has a tendency to confide in Dinah

No homophobia sexism or racism is allowed in the Wayne house hold if you display any of the following you will promptly be kicked out. It has happened before

Cassie has punched lex Luther in the face at a gala

Bruce laughed

Cass has also only worn sweats and a sports bra to a gala

Cass is a ballet dancer and likes teaching her brothers the moves she has learned

When Bruce came back from the dead and found out the justice league thought Tim was going insane with grief and didn’t do anything about it he yelled and screamed for a solid hour. Then he went silent. for weeks he didn’t say a word. It was the most terrifying he had ever been

Duke hangs on to the fact that he is the only meta allowed in Gotham with absolute pride

All the robins check in on the kids from the ‘we are robin’ movement every now and again just to make sure they are okay

Adults are terrified of the bats however children love them

Every member of the batfamily has been called over by child screaming out their window only to spend the next hour helping said child with their homework

Batman makes sure he is approachable to children he wants them to feel safe enough around him to ask for his help no matter what

That has led to him: 1. Patching up stuff animals 2. Calming down imaginary friends 3. Giving opinions on important matters such as which color is the best 4. Helping with homework 5. Trying to be persuaded into convincing the parents not to make broccoli anymore. It’s his favorite part about putting on a mask

Teenagers tho a little more hesitant also approach him with a little more serious matters and more for advice. (How can I help my friend with depression? How can I help my anxiety? I think friend is doing drugs how can I help. I don’t think these are good people I’m hanging out with but now I’m too scared to stop)

However if teens catch any bat sitting on a rooftop close to their windows they ask more stupid type of questions

“Hey nightwing how do you ask out a girl?” “Red hood I’m trying to write this book so hypothetically how long does it take some one to bleed out?” “If I payed you would you take my physical for PE for me?” “How good do you think you would do on the pacer test?” “Can you tell my little sister to shut up, she’ll listen to you?” “How much do I have to pay you to scare my friend?”

Talks between people and the vigilantes from rooftop to window happen a lot and it is always the highlight of the patrol. They like that the people of Gotham trust them.

Jason was brought back via whatever that superboy reset was (I’m still a little fuzzy, sue me) clawed his way out of his grave and then found by Talia. He was then but in the pit for his head injuries. Making it easier for the shadows to manipulate and brainwash him into hating Bruce. However that’s the only thing they manipulated him into. Jason didn’t go ‘insane by the pit’ and his thoughts and stances on killing are his own. And the way Bruce handles Jason being back is what made Jason continue hating Bruce even aged the brainwashing ‘wore off’

The day his dad died was what Jason considered the best day of his life

Dick is extremely intelligent and was considered a child prodigy (this isn’t a headcanon this is actually canon some of y’all just forget and need to be reminded)

Dick loves math (also canon)

Jason can sing. Like really really well.

Theater Nerd™️ Jason Todd

Jason is scared of thunderstorms

Damian is afraid of heights

Lady shiva absolutely adores Tim

They have all been arrested a few times each for varying reasons when they were teenagers

If Alfred or Bruce yell one thier full names the other kids will cover for them but ONLY if they use the full name other wise it’s every man for himself

I know this one isn’t batfam but I think kon playes the electric guitar and has a really unique punk-ish vibe type singing voice (think hobo Johnson)

Dick has naturally curly hair

five times missed.

It was a fleeting thought. One he had every time he glanced over at her face. He’d been having the thought more often, making his chest unbearably tight. It was suffocating him. So when he said it, he hadn’t expected anything. Maybe she’d laugh at him, in that way that she laughs so hard she snorts. There were five times in particular though, that he could recall as if they’d just happened the day before. Five moments where he felt so purely and wholly in love with her.

The first time it happened, he had thought he may have been dying.

It was an unbearably cold night. It was thankfully slow on patrol but he almost wished there was more criminal activity so he could force himself to move and warm up. They had taken to a rooftop to monitor the city, looking out at the cityscape.

“It’s freakin’ cold,” Stephanie complained beside him, her teeth chattering.

Tim chuckled at her and took her hand in his. “There,” he said with a smile.

Stephanie paused, staring at him for a moment before she burst out laughing. “As if I could get any body heat through both our gloves,” she managed through chuckles.

Even as she teased him for it, she never let go of his hand. His heart skipped a beat, Tim briefly wondered if that was it, if his heart was finally giving out. When he realized that he wasn’t dying, he let himself simply watch Stephanie. She glanced at their hands, a soft smile gracing her lips. That was it, that was the first time the thought had truly crossed his mind.

——————————

The second time was when they were lounging in the manor one evening. Stephanie was reading something on her phone as Tim went over some paperwork. Though it seemed like he was working, really, he was way too distracted by Stephanie’s face. As she read, she would make faces at her phone, his eyes always wandering back to her from the page in front of him.

He managed to finally read the report, checking Stephanie beside him. His heart stuttered as he realized she’d fallen asleep on him. He carefully set the papers on the table on his other side, trying his best not to disturb her.

“Hey, Timothy,” Jason started as he stepped into the sitting room, his voice unnecessarily loud.

He shushed his older brother as loud as he could, glaring at him as he did. When Jason mouthed an apology and backed slowly out, Tim relaxed back into the couch. His heart wasn’t racing like it had been the first time, it was a gentle pace that ached with longing to keep such a normal moment and stay in it, live just like that, peacefully.

——————————

The third time was at a gala. Bruce was hosting it so none of the family could leave first, Bruce telling them it wouldn’t look good if the host family disappeared. Tim disagreed, he thought no one would even notice them leaving. He had been having a particularly long day and he wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and sleep for a week. Until he saw Stephanie, and then he felt like he could stay up for three more days without sleep.

She was even more stunning than usual, her blonde hair done up in a neat bun and a pale purple gown that fluttered around her and brushed the floor when she walked. Tim didn’t know anything about dresses but, holy crap.

It had only been about an hour into the gala but Tim still couldn’t take his eyes off of Stephanie who looked like the picture of elegance holding a glass of champagne and chatting with Cassandra.

“You gonna ask her to dance, or keep staring at her?” Dick asked him in a teasing tone.

Tim scoffed as he made his way over to where Stephanie stood, talking animatedly to Cassandra. Cass nodded to Tim, smirking as she waved goodbye to Stephanie.

He held out his hand and fell into an exaggerated bow, “May I have this dance?”

Stephanie giggled, his chest tightening oddly at the sound, “I would be honoured.”

He took her hand and led her to the middle of the banquet hall with a small smile. The music was slow and sweet, so they simply swayed together. Dick caught Tim’s eye and gave him a thumbs up and a wink. Tim rolled his eyes but made a note to thank his brother later.

They continued like that nearly the entire night, some people giving them weird looks and others smiling and reminiscing about youth. Tim didn’t care about anyone else. Stephanie’s smile and her hands in his were the only things he could see. His thoughts dominated by her and being with her like that for as long as possible. It was almost bittersweet when they had to leave the hall.

The next day, Tim tracked down every photographer that was there and paid an ungodly amount of money for any photos they got of Tim and Stephanie. He printed out the photos and put them in a box. He didn’t want to forget that night. To most, it was a normal gala, but for him, it was a night etched into his memory for eternity.

——————————

The fourth time he could recall the thought coming up was on a mission. Stephanie had come along as back up. Tim was dealing with a bunch of goons, one sneaking up behind him. He turned around just as Stephanie jumped in front of him, knocking the guy out cold with one hit. He wasn’t sure why but that had done it.

“You ok?” She’d asked him after he hadn’t moved for a solid twenty seconds.

“Mhm, totally fine,” he told her with a smile, moving on and telling himself to focus. No, not on her, he chided himself when his eyes wandered back to Stephanie.

——————————

The fifth moment was only a week before. Stephanie had been on patrol with Dick and Bruce. Tim nearly died when he received the phone call. Dick told him that Stephanie had been injured, that they weren’t sure how bad it was but they were bringing her back to the cave immediately.

He rushed down to the cave where they were, his heart beating wildly in his chest, feeling like it was in his throat. His nose was stinging with that familiar sensation as he pushed through his family to get to her.

“Tim!” She called when he got to her, breathing hard. “What’s wrong, are you ok?”

Tim looked incredulously at her, “Am I ok? I just got a phone call,” he started, glancing behind him at Dick who looked only slightly apologetic. He took a breath in, grateful it wasn’t what he thought but he was going to kill Dick later for that call.

“Oh, about me?” Stephanie scoffed, “I’m totally fine, just twisted my ankle a bit.”

Tim let out a breath of relief, his body nearly collapsing. He realized then how dangerous their lives were, how quickly they could turn sour. He’d always known they didn’t live normal lives, that it was a lot more likely they’d get grievously injured in a fight, but it was easy to forget that it can all be taken away from them so suddenly. It terrified him.

He decided then that he wouldn’t let anything stop him, the next time the thought crossed his mind, he’d say it. He wouldn’t hold back, he would worry about how she’d react after.

——————————

“We should get married.”

It was definitely sudden, but his mind wouldn’t stop reminding him of every moment he had thought they should just do it and get hitched.

They had taken a night off to go stargazing in the woods. He felt all tingly as he lay next to her. His mind running wild with thoughts of how quickly the moment could slip through his fingers, how quickly he could lose these moments altogether. He tried to rid his mind of those thoughts, but instead, he ended up blurting it out.

Stephanie turned her head and halfway sat up to gawk at Tim. He didn’t meet her gaze, but he could feel it on himself, never leaving his face. He knew it was out of blue, to her at least. To him, it was something he thought about nearly every time he was with her now.

Tim continued to stare up at the stars above them, they were so bright that night. Or maybe that was just him.

“Are you serious?” Stephanie asked him and he worried his cheek. Should he play it off as a joke? His heart was racing and ever so carefully, he glanced at her. Her blue eyes shone bright, brighter than any of the stars and he felt the pressure in his chest, a weight that felt heavier when he was caught by her gaze.

“Yes,” he breathed quietly. He watched with rapt attention as Stephanie looked around them, searching for the words to say. He waited patiently, glancing between the night sky and her face.

Finally, Stephanie sighed and audibly flopped back to the ground. “Seriously. This is how you thought best to ask?” Tim turned his head to look at her before sitting up completely. “You didn’t think to maybe do it a little bit more romantic?” Her lips quirked upwards as she sat up again.

“I just thought, you know we both risk our lives doing what we do, we never really know when our last chance--” Tim was cut off by Stephanie’s soft lips meeting his.

She grinned at him as she broke the kiss. “It could be worse, I suppose,” she breathed on his lips.

Tim gently pulled away, “Is that a--”

“Yes, it’s a yes,” Stephanie laughed, her eyes shining just a bit brighter. “For a detective, you can be kinda slow.” Tim’s chest felt light, the tightness still there but a sudden sense of relief and something else he couldn’t yet name filling the space around them.

[Bonus]

“You know, I think that was pretty romantic,” Tim declared. When Stephanie just looked at him, he raised his eyebrows. “We’re under the stars, all alone…” He trailed off. He knew it wasn’t the most romantic, but he thought it was better than when they were around other people. He didn’t want to imagine what would happen if he had brought it up when they were around his family.

Stephanie grinned at him, “Yeah, and then you just, out of the blue, popped the question. And, not even asked, by the way. You simply stated that we should.”

Tim nodded, “Ok, fair. But, counterpoint, it was even more romantic because it was so random.”

Stephanie raised an amused brow, “All right, would you like to support that point with some evidence?”

“Well, it goes to show that I don’t feel like that only during, you know, heated moments,” he said quietly.

Stephanie nodded her head, “Ok, that’s very valid. But what about the statement?”

“Right, I mean it’s not like I was telling you we’re getting married. It was more like, just voicing my opinion,” Tim explained.

“Yes, very interesting,” Stephanie nodded her head again as she giggled.

Tim sighed, taking her hand in his, “Now we just have to figure out how we tell everyone else.”

Stephanie stared up at the sky before a wicked grin spread on her face, “Or,” she spoke with a devious tone, “We could just not say anything…”

Tim considered it for a moment and then shook his head, “Could you imagine Alfred if we did that?”

Stephanie’s eyes went wide and she shook her head too, “Yeah, no, let’s forget that. That’s just too terrifying to even think about.”

They both chuckled and Tim added the moment with the rest of them, memorizing everything from the way she laughed, leaning back on her hands and looking up to the dark sky to the constellations she attempted to trace with her finger.