you ever just spend years trying to find what book you want to write and go through a bunch of different things only to keep coming back to the fact that you want academic rival overprotective remus lupin with that cocky glint in his eye in a boarding school queerplatonic romance with the redhead girl who gets pissed off by him so easily but with a bit of dark romance spice and dark elements like !!actually correct!! mental health representation and seeing the dark sides people don’t like and beating the shit out of someone who he found out in passing hurt that girl he’s rivals with!! and always coming back to wanting sweet dorky over observant will destroy your world piece by piece Remus fucking Lupin who nags and picks on this girl to get a rise out of her because of that flushed look on her face when she’s thinking about a comeback because that’s the only time he sees her actually getting emotional over something!! who goes out of his way to make sure he protects her by keeping an ear on gossip and always finding a reason to be near her wether that be getting someone to invite her to see their game because he knows that he’ll be in the stands three rows down from her!! and over observant remus Lupin who notices that this bitch looks tired and makes her trade places and work with his terribly talkative best friend so she has an excuse to take a nap during lessons with him talking her to sleep!! and always, always coming back to remus lupin who makes sure that she’s okay by edging her on enough to get her talking about why she’s mad or upset or angry and then immediately trying to make it better by subtly fixing what happened the next day like making sure that one kind of food is there at the food hall the next morning and stashing extra pencils in her bag when she isn’t looking so she doesn’t need to ask the weirdo next to her for an extra and making excuses for them to sit together in class the next day so he can keep an eye on her funky little chronic illness because she had a bad flare up the previous day!! always going back to overprotective, I’ll keep you safe even though you’re not looking, piss you off so you can feel something, oh hey babe I had extra candy you look pale have some, REMUS FUCKING LUPIN

oh, you don’t do that? damn probably just me then

in other words I think I’m settling down with this ^^ idea for like an actual book but with a different type of school setting and different backgrounds (ish) but still remus because I love that name!! (might change it later idk yet!!) and still having some dumbass best friends who help him help people but also with more of the pissed off overprotective remus that we hardly ever see because I think it’s hot when he gets upset that somethings happened!!

Be on the lookout for updates, it’s only taken me four years to figure this out!!

aspec terms for beginners!

since it's trending right now, i feel like it might be helpful to clear up some basic aspec (but particularly aromantic, as we are the center of attention currently) terms. if you have absolutely any questions, i would be happy to answer, either in the replies, dms, or my inbox!

★・・・・・・★

the split attraction model (SAM): a model of human behavior that posits that, for some people, romantic and sexual attraction are not the same.

[most often this will come in the form of someone being aspec on one axis and allo (not aspec) on another. for example, a biromantic asexual may be romantically attracted to two or more genders, but sexually attracted to none. some people may even use SAM for allo identities– a bisexual lesbian may be sexually attracted to multiple genders, but only romantically attracted to women (note that this is not the only way that someone can be an mspec lesbian, just one way!). the SAM does not apply to everybody, not even all aspecs! there are non-SAM aros, for instance, who do not differentiate their aromanticism from their sexuality.]

aspec: a collection of queer spectrums centered around the lack of a certain attraction or identity. the most common spectrums under the aspec umbrella are asexual, aromantic, agender, and aplatonic, though there are many other ways to be aspec.

asexual: experiencing little to no sexual attraction.

[aces can still have sex– whether its because they experience some amount of sexual attraction or they just want to participate in sex because they find the act appealing in some other way. that being said, there are still plenty of aces who have not and will never have sex. it is a spectrum.]

aromantic: experiencing little to no romantic attraction.

[aros can still have romantic partners– whether its because they experience some amount of romantic attraction or they just find relationships appealing in some other way. that being said, there are still plenty of aros who have not and will never be in a romantic relationship. it is a spectrum.]

agender: having no gender or little relation to any gender.

aplatonic: experiencing little to no platonic attraction.

[similarly to aros and aces, apls can still form friendships if they so desire– whether its because they experience some amount of platonic attraction or they find friendships appealing in some other way.]

aroallo: combination of aromantic and allosexual– allosexual being someone who fully experiences sexual attraction. an aroallo, then, is someone who is aromantic but not asexual. aroallos often do not have a standard relationship with sex due to its romantic connotations and the stigma against loveless sex. someone having sex with someone else they do not love does not inherently make them aroallo, much in the same way that having a nonsexual relationship with a partner doesn't inherently make either participant asexual.

aroace: someone who is both aromantic and asexual. because aro and ace are both spectrums, an aroace may still experience some amount of attraction on either or both of those spectrums, or they may experience attraction of some other kind (platonic, tertiary, etc.), and that attraction may be only for a certain gender or genders– these are known as oriented aroaces.

queerplatonic relationship: a type of relationship that is defined only by the people within it. i have a post dedicated to explaining this in larger detail.

partnering: an aspec (usually aromantic) person who has and/or desires to have a partnership or multiple partnerships– romantic, queerplatonic, or otherwise.

non-partnering: an aspec (usually aromantic) person who has no desire to form a partnership of any kind.

romance/sex/plato favorable: an aspec who desires or would not reject a romantic, sexual, or platonic relationship. they are also generally not particularly bothered by seeing these relationships in their day-to-day.

romance/sex/plato repulsed: an aspec who does not desire a romantic, sexual, or platonic relationship and generally does not like seeing those relationships in their day-to-day. [x] repulsed people are not necessarily judgemental towards people who desire or participate in those relationships, they just do not desire them for themselves. repulsion often takes the form of discomfort or annoyance. [x] repulsed people are not necessarily cruel sticks-in-the-mud– they are perfectly capable of being respectful, and they very often are. repulsion does not always stem from trauma, though it certainly can.

romance/sex/plato positive: not to be confused with favorability, [x] positivity is the belief that romance, sex, and platonic relationships are human rights that should be supported and uplifted. someone can be [x] repulsed and [x] positive at the same time, because favorability/repulsion revolves around the self, and positivity/negativity extends to others.

sex/romance/plato negative: not to be confused with repulsion, [x] negativity is an inherently judgemental and harmful ideology. most commonly in the form of sex negativity, these ideologies are centered around the opposition to or personal judgement of people who engage in romance, sex, or platonic relationships. sex negativity in particular is embedded in western white supremacist societies and it is important for aspecs not to play into that.

those are the basics, but i have more information below the cut!

★・・・・・・★

> how are aspecs queer?

aspecs are queer because "queer" does not only mean LGBT. queer theory is about far more than just LGBT people– though they are undeniably a large part of it– queerness is any subversion of the traditional cisheteronormative standard. this includes things that cishets may take part in/identify with, because you do not have to be LGBT to subvert those standards. cishets who are gender-nonconforming are queer, for example. a good rule of thumb is that if you have to explain what you whole deal is to cishets, you're queer. queer does mean strange, after all.

traditional cisheteronormative conceptions of attraction, gender, and relationships do not account for aspecs. it is expected that everyone will one day form a traditional partnership with one other person, and that relationship will include sex (even if only for procreation, under some dogmas). virginity past a certain age is seen as a point of shame and something indicative of a larger problem in someone– in men, a red flag even. people past 30 without a relationship are pitied. our economic structure is build for couples and families– it's near impossible for someone to live comfortably alone. romance, friendship, and love are placed on a pedestal, treated as the meaning of life, the best thing anyone could ever experience. "love is the point of everything," as many posts on this site like to claim. people who reject these ideas are undeniably queer.

> i can get behind aros and aces, but the whole "aplatonic" thing feels like a stretch to me. how is not having friends queer? "platonic attraction" isn't even real.

aplatonicism is more than just "not having friends," and many apls have friends anyway, much in the same way that aros can date and aces can have sex. someone who does not have friends is not inherently aplatonic, they only are if they identify that little-to-no platonic attraction in themselves and choose to label themselves that way (just like how virgins aren't inherently asexual). still, apls who don't have friends exist, and they are all queer. what is a greater subversion of traditional cisheteronormative relationship structures than an outright rejection of what's seen as the most basic, fundamental relationship our culture has to offer?

you may not feel that platonic attraction is a distinct phenomenon in your own experience, and that's fine! ultimately, a lot of aspec terms exist for the utility and comfort of aspecs themselves. the SAM isn't for everyone, and platonic attraction isn't for everyone either. you do not have the authority to tell people what their own experiences are, nor should you care.

> i think it's sad that you're limiting yourself with these labels. you'll find someone one day!

for the broad majority of aspecs, our identities are not self-disciplinary, nor are they necessarily permanent. all queer people are capable of misunderstanding their identity or having a fluid identity– it is not a problem unique to being aspec. that being said, a lot of us may always be aspec and completely happy with it. being aspec is not a tragedy. the only thing i don't like about being aromantic is the judgement i receive from other people about it. non-partnering aspecs are not "missing out" on anything, because we don't even want the things we're rejecting in the first place. many of us are romance/sex/plato repulsed and are far more happy engaging with the world and with other people in different ways, because there is so, so much more to life than relationships, and it's wrong to presume that relationships are universally fit for everybody. telling an aspec that they'll find "the right person" one day is no different from telling a lesbian she'll find "the right man" one day. there is no "right person" for an aspec just as there's no "right man" for a lesbian. a lesbian is not "missing out" on a heterosexual relationship just because it's culturally perceived as superior and more fulfilling.

[disclaimer before anyone tries to do a "gotcha," i'm talking about a lesbian who is fully not attracted to men in any way. it's not like homophobes know the intricacies of gender identity and nonconformity as it pertains to homosexuality anyways.]

lastly, i wanna give a special shout out to the loveless aros and the relationship anarchists.

loveless aros are those who either feel little-to-no love as they understand it, or they are someone who supports the de-centering of love. they're worthy of a whole post of their own, but in summary: the loveless experience is all about finding joy in yourself and the countless things our world has to offer that are not dependent on the vague idea of love.

relationship anarchy is another concept worthy of its own post, but in essence it's an ideology aimed at abolishing the standard hierarchy of relationships (in the USA, depending on who you ask, its typically friendship < family < romantic partnership or friendship < romantic partnership < family) and allowing everyone the autonomy to define their relationships for themselves.

if i made any mistakes, let me know! and of course i'm willing to answer any questions anyone may have. :-3 thanks for reading my long ass post!

Out of context reimagined parts from my new #HHStargazersAU!

⚠️ TW: Nerdy word vomit about my coloring choices ahead:

My take on human Chaggie & Radioapple's color scheme! Yes. I headcanon the Magnes as beautiful blondes with just as beautiful brown eyes. Because there's no WAY warm red & yellows translate to cool baby blues! If anything, Vaggie's eyes would be the lighter shade. (At least in my AU.) Because her canon eyes are white and I think the dark skin contrast nicely with blue. As for Alastor's green... Look. Give me a chance! I swear I can later explain it through lore!

As for their clothes, I just chose hell's red for Charline, heavenly hues for Vaggie, earthy colors for Alastor to balance the green (with some white rather than black to show his employment under the Magnes), and pastels for Lucius (though out of everyone in my story, he may undergo the most palette switches. Just saying).

Spoiler for my recent comic update: As you can see, Vaggie & Alastor's human disguises aren't perfect. Thus some parts of their hair remain unchanged. Vaggie's ineffable white bangs and Alastor's brown-passing too-vibrant red hair (which mind you, was a difficult balance to achieve. Specially to match the greens-) still ever so distinct. People think they dyed it, but I assure you, it's all natural~! Along with their near supernatural ability to charm. Lol. -Bubbly💙

I think i just need to express that the culture surrounding QPRs right now made me think that i couldn't have strong bonds with my friends. Society told me i cant have strong bonds with friends because that was only for romantic relationships. Then i went into aro spaces and this idea was reinforced using QPRs instead of romantic relationships. it was "You can still have strong bonds with people without romance! It can just be a QPR instead!" "QPRs are MORE than friendship so you can have STRONGER BONDS than you would with friends."

it made me think that the relationships i wanted with my friends HAD to be something other than friendship for it to be as strong as i wanted. If i wanted to be the first person in someones life i had to enter some sort of committed relationship. if I wanted someone to care about me as strongly as i did them then it would have to be a relationship that was "more" than friendship.

I thought I wanted a QPR because i was told the only way to get that care and security that I wanted was to enter into a relationship that was "more" than friendship. because friends didn't care that much. because friends didn't live together their entire lives. because friends were never the priority relationship wise. and it took me years to realize that i didn't want any partnership and i shouldn't have to be in one to want these things from a friend. these things CAN be something friends can do. but i found that out on my own. because the aro community kept saying "you want a QPR" when i just wanted a friend who finally saw me as a priority in their life.

People often define QPRs as some kind of "halfway point" between friendship and romance, but I prefer to think of it as more of a "secret third thing" that can have characteristics of platonic and romantic relationships, but can also be totally unique. It gives more room for freedom and flexibility, which is what QPRs are meant for. They're not meant to be the middle point between two binary options. They are an entirely different category all of their own.

Think of it like how we see nonbinary genders. Most of us recognize that nonbinary doesn't mean a halfway point between male and female, but an entirely distinct set of genders that may share characteristics of male and female genders, but also may not. This is what QPRs are (supposed) to be like, not something defined as a middle point in an arbitrary binary.

Thinking about this post and can we talk about how important it is that fakir was okay with Duck not loving him back?

I think it’s fair to say it’s pretty heavily implied that he’s in love with her, and it’s explicitly confirmed in the guidebook.

While Duck’s feelings for him are more nebulous and hard to pin down, from his perspective she’s in love with Mytho. We as the audience know she doesn’t actually feel that way about Mytho but from Fakir’s perspective everything she’s done so far has been for Mytho. She admitted to him in episode 12 that she had feelings for mytho and there has been nothing to dissuade him from this line of thinking. In fact, he finds her crying because mytho chose rue.

There’s this little moment I like. When Duck tells him mytho has chosen rue as his princess his eyes narrow ever so slightly.

[ID: two screenshots of Fakir from episode 25. In the first he is looking at Duck (off camera) with a serious expression. In the second he narrows his eyes slightly. End ID]

He REACTS to this news, even if it’s subtle. And he doesnt look happy about it. Fakir is upset that Mytho rejected Duck. And this seems so antithetical from what we come to expect from a romantic subplot.

So the girl he loves loves someone else… and he’s okay with that. He never tries to pressure or guilt Duck into being with him. Hell he never even mentions his feelings. She likes someone else so what’s the point. But this never dissuades him from his devotion to her. He doesn’t give her an ultimatum or make her choose. He doesn’t even seem get upset that she loves someone else. Even when she goes back to being a duck destroying his last hope of being with her romantically, even then he never wavers. He wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Whether that’s as friends or as partners or as just a simple boy and a duck, he wants to be with her. How she feels for him doesn’t matter so much as getting to share his life with her.

And I find this such a refreshing spin on tired romance tropes. “Just friends” looms large in our media so it’s lovely to see a boy in the so called “friendzone” who’s okay with it. Beyond okay he treasures the time he spends with Duck. His affection for her doesn’t hinge on reciprocation.

It’s so common for characters in fakir’s archetype to grow angry or sad that they’re not “the one,” often lashing out at the girl who doesn’t return their feelings. But instead we have Fakir who’s perfectly content to stay Duck’s friend. After all, being her friend is a gift in itself.

I just love to see a platonic relationship not treated as a lesser stepping stone to a romantic relationship. Sure, Fakir has feelings for Duck. But that in no way undermines the friendship they already have. It’s treated with all the gravity usually reserved for romantic relationships. They’re going to spend their lives together and whether that’s as friends or as lovers—that part isn’t important.

I’m tired of media treating friendships like they’ve suddenly become worthless when one party develops feelings and the other doesn’t return them. With fakiru, the lovely part is that their relationship is built on such a strong foundation it can stand on its own. We the audience are free to interpret it as romantic, platonic, or something in between, but with any reading their close friendship forms the centerpiece.

I hate the lack of queer-platonic fics of Alastor so here you go

Warnings: Mentions/hints of cannibalism. It's Alastor.

___________________________________________________________

Today was pleasant, warm with a cool breeze, an open-the-windows type of day. The sky over the pride ring is darkening, hinting at the impending fall of night, and the hotel is calm and quiet. You’d just been exiting the lobby when you felt a hand on your shoulder, causing you to flinch. You whirl around, only to be met with a smugly grinning Alastor. He’d always been one to invade personal space without warning, and his footsteps were silent, something you’re still getting used to. He pulls you from your thoughts with a clearing of his throat as he reaches with his free hand to adjust his monocle. 

You feel a small smile spread across your face as you look up at him. “Hey, I was just looking for you.” You move to place your hand over his on your shoulder, reveling in the weight of it. 

“What for?” He replies, his smug grin softening slightly at the small gesture of affection.

“I was wondering if you’d like to go on a store run with me,” you reply, your hand dropping back to your side as you feel him pull away from your shoulder.

"It's not as fun when I go alone."

“Very well, I shall accompany you. How could I refuse such a wonderful invitation?” He speaks, his smile widening when you reach to interlock your fingers with his. You move to the doors of the hotel, and he follows you closely. A warm feeling of comfort seeps into his chest, making him feel almost sick from the sweetness of it all. As you make your way down the sidewalk, you fall into a comfortable silence, though it’s soon interrupted when you open your mouth.

“Do you like any sweets?” You question, “I know you’re not really a fan of them, but I’m curious.”

“I detest sweets, my dear.” He speaks without hesitation, “Though there is one that I enjoy.”

An almost wicked smile creeps onto his face as he watches your expression change to confusion and interest.

“Oh…?” You look up at him, your eyes briefly meeting his, though it’s hard to keep eye contact with someone who towers over you regardless of your height. Not to mention the creeping knowledge in the back of your mind that he could snap you in half, but he simply won’t. You can’t help but wonder why that is.

“It’s you. The most enticing thing I’ve ever known—why, I could eat you alive.” 

You suddenly notice the mischievous twinkle in his eye and the glint of his sharp teeth in the streetlights. Despite how afraid you should be, you laugh and shake your head. 

“You know what I meant.” You scoff playfully, and his hand tightens around yours. 

“I meant it, darling.” He teases, and you roll your eyes.

“What am I, strawberry-flavored?”

“Much sweeter, I’d say.” He speaks, his tone as suave as ever: “More like a sweet, smooth caramel.”

Alastor is visibly enjoying this banter, his confidence shining through.

You can’t help but let out a small laugh at his response, “Right, because you’d be strawberry, I think.” 

You turn a corner and enter the automatic sliding doors of the drugstore. How literal everything is in hell is hilarious, and you chuckle to yourself at the Vox brand of cocaine on one of the end-caps.

“Or... maybe strawberries and cream. Or a shortcake?” You continue, pondering what Alastor’s hypothetical flavor would be a bit more than you had ever thought you would.

“I think I prefer the idea of being maple-flavored if I have to be sweet.” He follows you, watching you browse the shelves.

“Though strawberry is not a bad choice either.”

“Maple makes sense.” You shrug, reaching down to pick your snacks of choice from the lower shelf. 

“Did you want anything?” You offer, turning to look up at him, to which he shakes his head.

“I’m just enjoying being alongside you, darling.” He admits watching your every move, almost as if he were a predator and you were prey. He would never eat you, he thinks. Sweetness is not something he’s fond of, and you’re much too sweet for him. He’d much sooner grab you and squeeze the life out of you, hold you tight, and keep you close. He shakes his head to keep his thoughts in check, chuckling at his audacity to even think of eating you.

“You’re sweet.” Your response breaks him out of his thoughts, and you squeeze his hand before letting go to scan and pay at the self-checkout.

“Why, thank you,” He says, doing a small yet dramatic bow, “Though I do believe you must be sweeter to provoke such feelings in me.” Alastor teases, watching you move. You hum a show tune, a small smile gracing your features as you gather your items and turn to face your partner, taking his hand. You exit the store together and make your way back to the hotel, and he brings your interlocked hands to his lips, planting a gentle kiss on the back of your hand.

“Did you want to stay with me a bit longer? We can... listen to the radio?” You offer, looking up with a bit of hopefulness in your eyes as you stand just before the entrance to the hotel.

“How kind of you to make such a wonderful suggestion.” Alastor replies, “I would very much like to spend more time with you, my dear.” 

You feel yourself grinning at the pet name and attempt to fight back the widening smile. You nod and squeeze his hand, entering the hotel and wandering through the lobby, brushing past the hotel staff. You wave at Husk, who gives a curt nod, and offer a soft, ‘Hello!’ to Charlie. Alastor follows your lead, eyes trained fondly on your grin, something Angel Dust will absolutely tease him about later. You finally enter your room after venturing the winding hallways, unlocking the door, and opening it for him, following behind. You shut the door with a soft click and bending down to pet your cat.

“I still can’t believe you don’t like cats.” You tease.

“You’re still trying to convince me to become a cat lover, are you?” He replies with a feigned scoff, watching as you stoop down to pet the feline.

You scoop the cat up, “Look at his face; how could you not love him?” you say, looking over the feline's head at Alastor.

“Love it as a pet. Not food.” You add, noting the gleam in his eye. He chuckles at your warning, knowing he would never eat something so near and dear to your heart.

“Fine, fine. I shall restrain myself; I know you care for it.” He replies, keeping his eyes locked on the animal. You let the cat down, watching as it scampers under the bed when Alastor moves towards you. You release his hand and approach your desk, setting the bag down on the dresser and rifling through it for the snacks you bought. You choose one and move across the room to plop down cross-legged on your bed, reaching for your nightstand to turn on your small box radio. Alastor sits next to you, letting the two of you fall into a comfortable silence as you enjoy your snack and one another's presence. He scoots closer, sitting shoulder to shoulder with you, and the pressure of his body against yours is soothing. It's nice being with him, having someone you can be vulnerable with, and having a relationship with no romantic strings attached. Just two people expressing love for one another, romantic or not. The breeze wafts through the open window, blowing the curtains slightly and giving the room cool, fresh air. The nighttime sounds of the city below mingle with the soft tune of the radio and Alastor's steady breathing, and you find yourself finally at peace despite all the horrors of living in hell.

Big Tiddied Trans Baddie, At your service

i get really tired of the vbs fanon of "oh haha wlw mlm hostility" "oh an and akito HATE each other and fight all the time" and just only focus on the vivids and the bad dogs INDIVIDUALLY when the whole point of vbs' story is that none of them could do it alone. they all need each other. and sure, in the vbs initial story the vivids and the bad dogs do have a hostile relationship, but that's before. they're a team now, and they all work to support each other, again, none of them can do it alone.

sure, an and akito banter with each other, but it's not actually malicious. they do genuinely trust and value each other. im reading the "find a way out" event story right now and akito is constantly thinking of the other three, not just toya, and how the four of them are all constantly there for each other and have helped each other improve beyond what any of them could do alone. the main theme of this event story is to show akito's growth-- how far he's come between then and now, how much allowing himself to rely on others has helped.

the point is, is that they're all friends, and they all love and trust and rely on each other. that's why it always feels so shallow when people only focus on toya/akito and an/kohane. shipping majorly contributes to this, how people only like to consider the Fun Gay Ships at the expense of the canon deep relationships these characters have with each other. and then on top of that there are fans who are hostile to those who ship either of the girls with either of the guys, which, since the het ships, in the fandom, are generally viewed as "worse" or "erasure" or what have you, it just goes to further solidify the "divide" between the vivids and the bad dogs in the general fandom consciousness. and it's SOOOO FRUSTRATING.

VBS ARE ALL FRIENDS OKAY. THEY TRUST EACH OTHER AND RELY ON EACH OTHER AND WORK HARD TO ACHIEVE THEIR COLLECTIVE DREAM. they could never do it alone and they could never do it if they didn't trust each other. toya writing his own song. vbs going camping for inspiration. vbs putting on events. collaborating with other groups. practicing. exercising. shopping. hanging out. celebrating holidays and each other's birthdays. an and akito and toya riding the train to pick up kohane. all of the event stories and card side stories are all about how much time they spend together and how much each of them want to improve for each other. they love each other. vbs love each other and im tired of popular fanon pretending they don't.

my chemical queerplatonic relationship. my chemical alterous. are you seeing my vision.

Kinda feeling soukoku makes a more interesting dynamic as exes that are now friends rather than lovers.

They're a t4t qpr I've decided.

Breaking my silence.

Major spoiler for Episode 2 of Beast Yeast! ‼️

I will not be quiet.

I no longer can contain myself.

They cannot do this to me. itS SO BEAUTIFUL AND SAD, AND ROMANTIC AND DIABOLICAL BUT SO FITTING AND JUST WEEEEH 💕💕 T_T

Oh my GOD.

i will not be able to recover from this fucking shitshow/pos

LilyFae is so fucking real, so real and canon. And they are in Love and kiss 1000 times.

I will die with this ship. I WILL GO UNDER with this SHIP.

They are forever in my heart. 🌸💕🫶

Rest in Peace, Elder Faerie. You are the true GOAT and I love you.💕 (and so does Lily)

I wish romance and sex wasn’t so commonly seen as synonymous. I have a crush on someone whom I want to ask to hang out and so many of my friends are making jokes like “oooh asking her out already? You gonna invite her back home? Can’t wait to get in her pants eh?”

…No? None of that even crossed my mind??? I just want to ask to go get coffee and TALK to her. Ideally if we clicked I think it’d be nice to watch our favourite movies together and snuggle.

It’s actually incredibly easy to get sex these days, whether it’s through Grindr, sex work services, even just going to the club and bringing someone home. What isn’t easy, however, is finding that unique emotional connection and intimacy that comes with having a romantic partner. That doesn’t come too often.

And anyway, seeking friendship is my priority because I’m not one to act on romantic feelings unless the other person also explicitly shows interest first. The fact I’m trying to be friends with a girl and people’s instant reaction is to make it sexual is… so weird. I don’t like it. I wish this kind of shit wasn’t so normalised. People should be able to be friends with the gender(s) they’re attracted to without other people making it weird. You absolutely CAN be friends with someone you’re attracted to and if you can’t… that’s a you problem, pal.

When we're a queerplatonic couple on Valentine's Day and we hold hands at the cinema and have lunch at our favourite greek takeout and the owner gives us free sweets then we browse Good Games for our dnd needs and an employee compliments our rings and outfits and then we go home and build Lego flowers while listening to Hozier