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catastrophe-at-sixteen · 3 years

Text

strawberries and cigarettes (m)

Jungkook x reader

“For a biology project, you and your class are going on a field trip to collect evidence for your hypothesis. It is all going well until the dark haired nuisance called Jeon Jungkook decides to piss you off.”

Also - a nerd. The resident bad boy. The police. Annoying friends. A loose psycho killer. What could go wrong?

This is my first time ever uploading any fics !! im super nervous haha - i'll probably post a little of each one and see how it goes !!

Jungkook x reader.

This is your classic enemies to lovers but with a slight little twist!

This is set in the 80s/90s and is your typical bad boy/nerd girl trope- but , there is a killer on the loose. I mean this is kind of based on jack the ripper (serial killer) and my teenage fantasies of falling for bad boy jungkook. I hope you’ll give it a go and tell me what you think !!! <3

Tw : cursing, killings, descriptions of death and psychopaths, masturbation , making out, smut.

WC : 11K

also a big massive thank you to @ggukkiereads for helping me gain the confidence to write and dedicate time to finishing this ! ik its been a while since we spoke but much love to u angel <3 may u always have the best !

Begrudgingly the students lag off the bus at 10pm, finally having reached their destination.

Tired and sore from their journey the teachers find no trouble in distributing bedrooms for everyone.

When your name is called out along with Tiffany you internally groan - great you think one of the most plastic girls in the school all to myself.

You grimace but make no argument as you could have gotten worse you suppose.

As you grab your belongings and ignore her protests that she doesn't want to room with a loser like you, a dark clad figure pushes past you, almost tripping you over.

Angrily you shout

"Watch where you're going you prick"!

Yet he doesn't so much look in your direction.

Under the dim moonlight you can faintly make out the low blunt of a cigarette in a tattoo clad hand - so it was the infamous Jungkook.

Honestly you didn't understand why all the girls fawned over him when he was just a rude and ignorant asshole. Sure, he had a pretty face but no good soul to match.

Calming yourself, as it was unlikely that you'd ever receive an apology from the school rebel you just head to your new room.

The school had organised a biology trip so that you could gather authentic evidence on the correlation of birds and wood growth in a certain designated area and honestly you were excited- not having enough expenses to get out of town when you were younger meant that this was a treat for you and paired with you being a biology major your inner geek was surfacing pretty quickly.

You move into your room and begin unpacking your things ignoring the chatter coming from your new roommates.

You set everything nicely, precisely -just to your liking. Maybe some would call you fussy, but you like to think of yourself as organised and classy.

You don’t have many thoughts that night as you lay down for bed, but you do hear the news playing in the background.

" a killing has not been sighted for a time breaking the pattern of the 1-week intervals in which they have been happening, but police still advise to remain on high alert at all times. "

You shudder as you think about it, a killer on the loose in the country and everyone powerless to stop him.

He fed of the insecurities of people, the fear of not being safe. He did a damn well good job at it as well.

You look outside and see the police on night duty setting up, the country while terrified also was reluctant to admit the threat and instead of protecting you properly they had merely sent police force units as glorified bodyguards to ' keep you safe '.

You sigh, as you climb under your covers those problems seem like a long way away from you as you drift off with an empty mind.

It was morning, the sun was shining brightly through the windows giving an orange glow to the room.

You were up before your roommates, had brushed your teeth and were already preparing for your project.

You had to do well, you were depending on a scholarship for university, your family could simply not afford it otherwise.

When your first signs of morning hunger begin to strike you venture outside your room in order to satiate yourself. You find that it’s still quiet only a few students up like yourself, you find a coffee machine and immediately begin to make one for yourself.

“While you're at it could you make one for me too".

a deep voice drawls out.

You almost jump out of your skin at the sound his voice breaking the silence you had been enjoying. Jeon Jungkook.

You scowl at him, choosing to ignore him carrying on making your own cup.

He whistles under his breath.

“wow, edgy or a bitch? I can’t decide".

He taunts you.

You roll your eyes at him and sigh in annoyance, his eyebrows raise at this.

“you’re clearly not a morning person".

He speaks.

You mutter under your breath.

" or maybe I’m just not a YOU person, not everyone lives to be nice to you. "

He lifts his hands up in a mock surrender.

“Okay, okay I get it it's a bad time for you jeez.... I suppose I'll have to make my own coffee".

He moves closer to you, totally invading your personal space, clearly, he had never heard of a personal bubble! You scowl and try to move away but he’s faster and is hovering over you before you know it. He looks down at you with those pretty dark eyes.

They’re so gorgeous.

Not that it matters to you because he is still an asshole, and he still ruined your morning.

“get out of my face Jeon Jungkook".

You say between clenched teeth.

You’re not some sort of pushover.

Yes, you're clever, as society classes a nerd but you're not one to let people walk all over you.

If he’s shocked, he doesn’t let on, just hums and lets you walk away, which you do, a little aggressively. You got back to your room and let out a sound of annoyance, the girls are still sleeping.

You sigh.

This was going to be a long trip.

After an uneventful morning, the wait was over and finally the teachers had called you to gather in the common area. Much to your dismay however there would be no actual data collecting until the police had secured the area, which meant that your whole day was pretty much wasted. The other students were chatting and gossiping and being idiots as per usual.

It’s not that you thought you were better than them, it's just that they were so mundane, so lifeless. They were just living on with no sense of direction. You suppose that's what you get for attending a school for rich kids though.

You could never fit in.

So, you never tried. People took pity on you every now and then offered you a smile. You smiled back but that was it. Your thoughts are running and to clear your head you decide to go outside for a little breather.

There isn’t much, just a few abandoned train tracks that seemingly lead into nowhere, a few broken fences and lots of grass. Not much time after this you head to bed.

Finally, the day had arrived, you could collect your samples.

You are so glad that it’s an individual project because you honestly cannot even imagine working with one of those air heads.

You shudder at the memory of having to work with Taehyung last semester for a chemistry practical.

You had to basically pull all the weight for your grade.

So, you get on working your way through your work and proving or disproving your hypothesis.

You’re pleased at the work that you completed. Not entirely satisfied but satisfied enough, for now.

You let out a stiff yawn, you need to stretch and need a little fresh air since you had spent the last few hours writing up your data and making graphs to compliment them.

You forgo your jacket since the weather isn’t so bad.

It’s nice.

When you go outside there are quite a few students already there, goofing around. There is also a pretty scenery, that in all honesty you had not appreciated until right now.

“Wow" you mutter under your breath.

Maybe I should try living outside my own head sometimes.

You spot some students surrounding a police officer and the curiosity gets the better of you and your soon wandering around the outskirts of their conversation.

Alas, it was merely a fruitless conversation. The police officer telling the other about his escapades and how they will be good in hands.

You lose yourself to your own thoughts again and look at the scenery. Until a little scuffle, breaks you out of your thoughts.

“What was that? There was a movement down there!! “

A boy called Josh calls out.

The police officer had also noticed it, then a sound of a gunshot sounds through the air.

The police officers curse and begin to get ready to scout the area. They want you all to go away, be safe inside but you’re all young adults- you want to see what’s going on.

Everyone gathers, watching the officers.

You scan the area; you spot the balcony that looks over the area just in front of the cabins.

Perfect you think that’s the perfect spot to see what’s going on.

So, you begin to climb up the steps to that room, when you get there, you can see everything.

You see a dead dog, a dead bird and the gun which had killed them laid out to where the officers were heading.

Fear grips your heart; your heartbeat is erratic. You think you see the shape of figure retreating into the distance but before you can look again, you feel the ground give way under you.

You let out a shriek, feeling yourself falling.

Is this truly how my life end you wonder I didn’t even get to complete my PhD?

Yet, instead of the hard fall that your body had been anticipating; your landing is softer and lets out a low grunt.

You're sure you're dead and have entered heaven.

Slowly you register a warm feeling under your legs and a secure one at your waist.

oh, this feels nice.

you think, eyes still closed until you hear some chaos in the distance.

what's happening?

Why is heaven so noisy? Are they partying because I’ve arrived? Was I actually an angel all this time am I coming home?

Ah you think this must be the angels- I knew all those days spent doing charity would help me.

You open your eyes and you’re met with bambi eyes staring back at you.

Slowly you begin to piece the rest of your angel together.

“Jeon Jungkook? “

You try and raise your voice to compliment your surprise, but it comes out in a more whisper.

“But this, Jungkook, you were an angel all this time? “you say.

His eyebrows knot together in confusion.

“What are you talking about strawberry?”

You gasp.

"Do we all get code names in heaven? You’re a pretty angel Jungkook. “

Then your eyes zero in on the scar on his cheek.

“Aren’t Angel’s supposed to be blemish free? Is that? Are you fallen? Wait.... for me? Are you my angel Jungkook? “

His eyes, which had previously shown confusion are now coloured with amusement.

“You talk a lot don’t you my little strawberry”.

You vaguely hear the sounds behind you before you begin to feel drowsy and fall limp the arms of your unexpected angel.

Jungkook was, of course no angel, your delirious ass was just doing and saying delirious things. You were going to be mortified when you woke up.

When you come to your room in a dark room, tucked into a warm bed. Your headaches aches as if someone is using a sledgehammer to hit it every second.

‘Agh’ you let out a pained groan.

What even happened? you wonder in your head.

You move quickly, getting out of bed ignoring your protesting limbs. You almost reach the doors until a pair of arms trap you.

‘woah woah where do you think you're going?’

You let out a scream, completely startled. A hand comes to cover your mouth.

‘man, you really do have a set of lungs, don’t you? ‘

You stop struggling in his embrace to match his voice to a face. Its familiar.

‘Jeon Jungkook?’ you let a little unsure and panic still evident in your voice.

‘your one and only’

You frown.

‘mine?’

He smirks at you,

‘that's right yours strawberry’.

You shake your head.

‘are you smoking something? Are you high right now?’

He pouts a little then, it changes his look completely. He looks a little cute.

‘you don't remember? ‘ he cocks his head to the side and points to himself. ‘I'm your angel’.

You scoff.

‘Please in what world are YOU an angel? You're far from it’.

Then it all comes back to you.

Jungkook watches as the realisation begins to show on your face.

‘Oh my god I had a concussion, you cannot be serious right now ‘

He chuckles.

'The words still came out of your mouth' Jungkook counters, he leans closer to you, his face way to close for your liking.

You feel your face grow warm from his proximity, but you don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that.

You scoff and push him away.

‘You're insane’.

He accepts the distance you've placed between the two of you and he chooses to smirk at you from where he is standing.

‘And you're crazy for me’.

You let out an incredulous laugh, not believing him.

‘Oh, my lord, please shut up for the sake of my sanity’.

He chuckles at your flustered state and you scramble your brain to find a change of subject.

‘okay whatever now just excuse me because I need to go back to my room’.

You move to begin walking to the door, but his voice halts your movements.

‘This is your room now’.

You whip around to face him.

‘What?! Ha as if Jeon, why would they room us together- were supposed to separate for the opposite genders- which I totally get when you're involved’ you say disbelief painting your voice. You whisper the last part though.

He puts his hands into his pockets and shrugs.

‘Protection?’

You set him a hard stare.

‘Save your lame ass men superiority talks for someone else i am having a severe case of I'm not interested’.

Why the hell would you need Jungkook for protection, it reeks of patriarchy and you hate it.

He shrugs.

‘Listen princess I don't know why either really to be honest but I'm not complaining-’

You don't bother entertaining him for much longer.

This can't be true. You cannot be paired into a room with him. He cannot be your new roommate - heck now tiffany doesn't seem so bad. Flirting asshole, you mutter under your breath as you begin searching for your teacher.

You only learn a bitter truth, due to the collapsing of the room you had to be relocated into another room and the only person without a roommate was Jungkook. They ‘trusted’ you enough that you would be able to handle it and not to do anything you were not supposed to.

‘We trust you, y/n’ was what she had told you.

You spend your time cursing out both her and Jungkook as you gather your belongings to move into your new room.

You're so caught up in your own thoughts that you don't notice a foot that comes out to trip you.

You look up and see the faces of three stupid bitches.

Tiffany Jessica and Irene.

They seemed to consider themselves above everybody else, though you've no idea why. Aside from flawless looks they seemed to live pretty empty life in your eyes. They were living definitions of empty shells walking around.

You get up quietly from the ground, you'll gain nothing from engaging with them, maybe you'd lose a few brainless. You just want to go back and rest - your head is killing you.

But to your disappointment they begin to talk.

‘Well, well well, if it isn't the school's new slut moving into MY boyfriend's room’.

You have to let a little laugh at this. This one is seriously deluded. Jungkook didn't do relationships you knew that. Everybody knew that. They had hooked up about 3 months ago and even though he does his best to ignore her she still insists that he is her boyfriend. It's just pathetic and a bit sad you suppose. Her obvious attraction to him which he just does not reciprocate.

She becomes enraged at your actions.

‘listen here you little bitch you better not even think of starting anything with my man-’ she spits out at you.

You snap back then, unable to hold your tongue.

‘I am not a slut, and I will not go after your man- which fyi he is not. He is a human and he doesn’t belong to you he never has’

She grows red at your words.

‘you little piece of shit-’

She raises her hand but just then a voice interrupts her and she halts her actions.

‘well if it isn't my new roomie, l’ll take that from you strawberry’ Jungkook says, too cheery for your liking, your still contemplating hitting Jessica.

Jessica begins speaking up, but he ignores her turning to you.

Your mouth almost drops open at his dismissal of Jessica but then again, she is annoying, and he cannot be immune to that.

‘Jungkoooook’ she whines when he doesn’t respond to her the first time.

He still doesn’t entertain her.

He moves to take your things from you, but she speaks again, latching onto his arm.

‘just leave her -cshe's just an annoying stuck-up bitch’.

He responds to this under his breath laughing.

‘reminds me of someone ’

She doesn't understand his comment.

‘huh?’ she says almost comically.

‘who baby?’ she pouts at him ‘my poor baby having to deal with such people, just leave with me and we can-’

‘no’ he sets her with a hard stare.

It's like she has forgotten that you're there, so you decide to use this to your advantage, letting Jungkook deal with them. You move to get your suitcase, but a hand stops yours. Its Jungkook.

‘I don’t think so strawberry - I'll be getting those for you’.

You turn to look at him scowl adorning your features.

‘I don’t need your help Jeon’.

He smirks at you.

‘no no - I insist’.

He dismisses Jessica with a wave of his hand and begins to walk away your suitcase in his hand, which prompts you to follow along.

‘What. Was. That. Jungkook?!’ you say when the door closes, you’re fuming because he had made it seem as though you were dating or doing things together which meant that they would keep bothering you, which is just something that you don’t want.

He turns around to face you.

‘oh, don’t get your panties in such a twist, I just needed to get the fuck away from her’.

He sounds angry and this is the Jungkook that you are more accustomed to. Not the flirty one you have been seeing. Hopefully he had given up on whatever he was trying to achieve with that. He was a rude asshole who was just to used to seeing things come out in his favour.

‘excuse me, you just fuelled her whack ass thoughts and next time don’t use me as your escape route’ you say matching his hostile tone.

‘oh, don’t be such a priss, it saved you as much as it saved me’.

An exasperated noise escapes your throat.

‘well maybe you should have kept it in your pants lover boy’.

He sets you with a hard stare.

‘oh, shut up - you don’t know me’ he grits out.

You cock your head to the side much like he had done to you earlier in the day.

‘hmmm I think I know you pretty well Jungkook, you're not as unreadable as you like to think, Jeon Jungkook the infamous bad boy who uses girls to fuel his ego and is used by girls to fuel their own ego and status quo among their own stupid--’

You do not get to finish you sentence however because you're harshly being pinned to the door. His grip on you is hard and it stings but you meet his gaze.

‘shut the fuck up y/n’ the tone of his voice is almost carnal, animal like.

You seriously had hit a nerve.

‘I go beyond your perceptions of me- you little miss goody two shoes’.

You spit back in his face.

‘I've yet to see you act more like a crazed rabbit Jungkook and to be honest I don’t plan on finding out the depths of your character either. I don’t fucking care about you’.

You push him aside and move to unpack your suitcase.

He mutters something under his breath that you can't hear, and he walks out slamming the door behind him.

‘well, that was fun’ you say and begin to take out your notes and books that you will need through the day.

When you wake up the next you feel like you’ve been hit by a ton of bricks. The painkillers had given you the illusion that you were okay. You look a mess, you're tired, you cannot believe that this happened. You had been looking forward to this for so long, they had told you that another student would be collecting your data. Your new roommate. Jeon Jungkook. He was going to be collecting your data.

This is preposterous! He would probably sabotage you on purpose! This cannot happen, but they wouldn’t budge from their choice. You huff as you look out of the window, where you could be collecting your data along with the other students. Darn you and your curiosity.

They always did say didn’t they- that curiosity killed the cat.

Your walking around the room, pacing- that’s how bored you are. You had reorganised your things 3 times and colour coded all you notes, redrew your graphs, you had done everything that you thought would keep you busy but here you are sitting with nothing to do. You look around the room see Jungkook's things laying on the ground.

You sigh into the empty room again and just lay down waiting for them to come back. You end up falling asleep.

You're stirred from your sleep, quite rudely by a book being thrown at the foot of your bed. You sit up, still groggy and look at Jungkook.

‘what the hell man’

He stares at you blankly.

‘There's your work priss’

You're not bothered by his hostile tone instead open the book and seeing what he had done, or you suppose looking at it what he had not done. The more you look at the work the more the frown on your face deepens.

‘what the hell is this Jungkook?’

He looks up at you annoyed.

‘the work? Thought you were meant to be a genius?’

You scowl at him.

‘this Jungkook? Is unacceptable a nursery kid could do way better than this !’

He rolls his eyes at you.

‘and? That’s what you're going to get priss so deal with it’.

You make an exasperated sigh.

‘you've used the wrong measurement and everything Jungkook’.

‘look - I don’t care. I didn’t want to do this for you anyway’.

‘like I wanted YOU to do it for me’.

You sigh,

You keep bumping into him everywhere, you know he is your roommate but he is always there at the cafeteria taking the last donut which you had been craving pushing in line, making unnecessary comments and he makes the room so messy!

It’s the same thing for the next few outings, Jungkook comes with the same half assed versions of the data you need.

You try, you really you try so hard to use the data sets he provided but its no use. They're absolutely useless, so you decide to take matters into your own hands.

Your going to sneak out early in the morning, you have to sneak past the guards which as you’ve gathered won't be as hard as one may think because they are not good or much invested in their job anyway.

You prepare yourself and head to set out in the morning. You quietly get up so as not to disturb or wake Jungkook. If he sees you, you know that there will be trouble.

You throw on a hoodie and grab a notebook, a pen and your watch. You have to be back before anyone can notice that you're gone. You steel yourself one last time, giving yourself a pep talk and sneak out. You hold your breath as you walk past the room of your supervisor and out the back door of the cabins.

This isn't so bad you think. Once you're out of sight of the guards and you think your safe, you let out a sigh of relief and do a little shimmy out of your happiness. You are so pleased and proud of yourself. What you didn’t know that behind you, watching your every move was a boy covered in tattoos with a cigarette in his hand watching you with an amused face.

Jungkook was, not as you thought asleep when you had snuck out. He was also outside, leaning on the side of the building a cigarette in his hand, he couldn’t sleep that night, it happened to him on most nights so he routinely wakes up to have a smoke. On this particular day there is not the usual eerie morning silence that he is used to, but a few grunts and hisses to accompany it. He furrows his brows.

Is that? He thinks y/n!?!?!?!?!?

No way he thinks what the hell is she up to?

Then he catches sight of your notebook and pen.

'Oh, what a nerd' he mutters under his breath. Then he smirks.

He can totally use this to his advantage.

He stubs his cigarette, pulls his hoodie over his head and follows you.

Your heart is still racing you honestly cannot believe that you. l/n f/n are doing this.

‘What a badass’ you say into the silence.

‘Badass? Sneaking out to do bloody work is your idea of badass?’ a voice speaks up behind you.

You shriek startled and are met with Jungkook.

Why is it always him?

‘what in the bloody tarnation's.... are you trying to kill me Jungkook?!’ you say putting your hand on your heart.

He grins pleased at the reaction he had elicited from you.

He cocks his head to the side.

‘what the hell are you doing here ?!’ you hiss at him.

‘could ask you the same thing strawberry’ he replies.

You look at him.

You were so sure that you had been quiet, how could he be here to ruin everything.

‘you do realise that I actually have name, and it's not strawberry’ you say to him.

He shrugs.

‘Yeah but you always smell like them’.

You scoff;

‘and you always reek of cigarettes.’

He frowns but then asks you again.

‘what are you doing here?’

You think of excuses,

‘I'm - I'm on a walk’ you say.

He lifts his eyebrow up.

‘a walk?’

You nod.

‘that's right for my daily exercise its been a pain to be stuck indoors’.

He snorts.

‘you're on a walk with your graph paper pad and pencil case?’

You curse inside your head.

‘yeah I am a nerd after all’ you say, hoping and praying that he’ll just let you go on your way.

He doesn’t

‘I don’t know, you look awfully suspicious to me, do tell why you're heading to the sight of our data collection points when the trail track is in the opposite direction?’ he says.

You rack your brains for an answer.

‘well, I like an adventure’ you say, standing straight.

‘oh, is that so?’ he says laughter infiltrating his tone.

‘yes’, you say meeting his eyes.

‘hmm’ he says ‘I don’t believe you’ he says.

‘do you wanna know what I think?’ he continues.

He takes one step closer to you.

‘I think that our resident miss goody two shoes is sneaking off when told specifically that she can't’ his gaze burns into yours

You feel yourself going red out of embarrassment.

‘I literally have no idea what you're talking about Jungkook' you say breathless.

He leans closer and you can feel his body heat, he continues to bore his eyes into your own and you almost fall into his gaze until you feel your book being snatched out of your hand.

‘HEY!’ you say reaching for it.

But he holds it higher than himself, opens it to the last written on page.

‘new data collection points’ he reads out ‘and oh would you look at that ! It has todays dates written on it’ he says looking down at you with a squint in his eyes.

You huff.

‘well obviously I had to do this because how on earth could I let your lame ass results and data reading be used for my final piece – I'm not looking to fail’ you say venom laced in every word.

He scowls at you.

‘there was nothing wrong with my results princess’ he grits out.

‘oh, please save it’ you snap back ‘you didn’t even use the same measurements – your hopeless’.

‘well, if I'm so fucking useless you should do my work for me’ he says.

You set him a level stare.

‘what?’

‘you heard me’ he says with a roll of his eyes.

‘and why in the hell would I do that? I don’t care if you fail Jungkook, heck I don’t care if you get kicked out’ you tell him.

He shakes his head.

‘well, I mean I could go back right now and tell Miss Taylor-’ he begins.

You narrow your eyes at him.

‘You wouldn’t dare’.

He holds a staring contest with you.

‘oh, wouldn’t I?’ he says.

You both hold each other's gazes before you give in.

You cannot believe the audacity of this asshole.

‘fine whatever asshole’ you say folding your arms and turning around.

He grins in victory and places your notebook back into your hands.

‘chop chop partner get to it’ he says.

You glare at him.

‘partners pull equal weight Jungkook ‘

He rolls his eyes.

‘I don’t really care – you just need to get a move on’.

You turn around no longer wanting to deal with his annoying ass.

You make it forward a few steps before you stop and turn around.

‘why are you following me?’ you ask him.

He rolls his eyes at your apparent dumbness.

‘well smartass, there is a killer on the loose if you didn’t know’.

You freeze up for a second,

Shit

You had almost forgotten. You don’t let him see that you're scared.

‘and? ‘ you say feigning composure.

‘what the hell are you going to do if he pops out of the woods anyway?’

He shrugs.

‘I dunno actually a lot more than you could do anyway’

You stare at him.

‘I could be a black belt in karate for all you know’.

He laughs.

‘okay princess whatever - I just need to make sure that you're not going to fuck this up’.

So, you turn going to the place you need to, to collect your data pieces.

With having to do Jungkook's work as well, it takes a lot longer to complete than you would have liked.

He is surprisingly bearable in the mornings that you both sneak off though. He doesn’t say much. Just watches you – pretends he isn't though.

You catch him once. Its been about 2 weeks since you started this godawful task, and Jungkook's notes and work were in dire need of help so its taking you time. This time however you meet his gaze before he is able to pull away.

You cock your head to the side.

‘what are you staring at?’ you say placing your hands on your hips.

He says something inaudible under his breath.

‘what was that?’

He snaps at you.

‘do you think you have tie to stand around making idle talk with me? The work ain’t going to do itself princess.’

You huff in annoyance.

How dare he! This was just plain wrong anyway I should not even be doing this, but you knew it was the only way. You couldn't risk getting caught and with Jungkook you wouldn't be surprised if he really did rat you out you to all the teachers. And if he did well, you wouldn’t be receiving a very good reference.

It was during an early morning that you hear Jungkook walk off into the distance. Probably to smoke, such a bad habit you tsk.

But you're also done for the day – so you begin to head back on your own.

You feel the grass brush against your feet as you walk back. You’re humming along to that song that was always on the radio, when you hear it. A little whimper - then a cry. You know that you shouldn’t go to look, you know that you're paying for your curiosity already and you don’t need another thing to happen, but you just cannot help yourself!

You follow the sound, going on a detour from the track.

You do consider yourself somewhat of a badass but a serial killer? Yeah, they kinda scare the shit out of you. You hold your breath and walk as quietly and slowly as you can. You hear the whimper again to your left but its deeper into the woods.

As you walk closer you see a pool of blood - your eyes widen, and your heartbeat becomes erratic.

‘what the fuck?’ you whisper into the silence.

You walk closer to the body of the animal and you can feel your knees grow a little weak you can see a white paper which has been tainted red with the blood of the animal that was killed.

You gasp, taking it up in your hands. Your hands also become stained with the redness.

It's in Morse code.

-.-- --- ..- / ... .... --- ..- .-.. -.. -. .----. - / -... . / .-- .- -. -.. . .-. .. -. --. / --- ..- - / .- .-.. --- -. .

(YOU SHOULDN'T BE WANDERING OUT ALONE)

You look at it for a while and rack your brains to be able to translate it but no such look. Your mind is busy running at 100miles per hour. As you try and clear your head and look at the note one more time, but a noise in the distance pulls you way from any semblance of concentration that you could have obtained.

You frantically look around trying to locate where the sound had come from. Your senses are all on a high right now. You shove the piece of paper into your pocket and begin to go back the way that you came. After the first few steps you begin running your head running wild with the idea of being found dead in ditch. Your nearly at the main path which you had strayed from. You make it onto the path, and you bend over catching your breath when two arms encircle you from behind.

You let out a scream.

A hand is placed over your mouth.

‘shut the fuck up y/n’.

You recognise THAT voice. Its Jeon Jungkook. Why is this motherfucker always trying to scare you? Your turn around and hit him on the chest,

‘what the actual hell Jeon, you gave me a bloody heat attack and a half’.

He doesn’t respond. He is looking at you, his eyebrows are furrowed and his eyes have a glint of anger. He is furious.

‘where the fuck did you go y/n?’ he says, he holds your wrist stopping you from hitting him again.

He holds it in the air holding your gaze.

‘I was.... walking back’ you didn't want him to know what you had found. He would probably tell you it was a bad idea to even translate it. Which it was, but what is life if not for taking risks?

You yank your hand from his grasp.

He looks at you an unreadable expression on his face.

“you’re a fucking liar “he says.

You scoff.

“oh please, what’s it to you anyway jungkook, you left me first “

He doesn’t say anything, but observes you, trying to look for signs of what you’re hiding.

He had found one too, a dead animal and a note written in Morse.

But he could read it and he knew he was in trouble

“Be careful, or your little girlfriend may be snatched from right under your arms “

He swore under his breath as he read it and immediately began to make his way back to you.

“strawberry?” he calls out but you’re not there.

You’re not there and he hates the feeling of dread that sits in his stomach.

He runs back the way you came, but he still finds no trace of you

“fucking hell where did she go?”

He almost gives up and is going to tell the police when you appear before him, out of breath and you look terrified.

He knows you’re lying, if you were where, you said you were, he would have seen you.

He narrows his eyes at you again.

“I left for two seconds and you ran off. Where the fuck did you go? “

He asks, he wants you tell him, needs you to, he’s overcome with this sense to protect you but you don’t trust him. He needs to change that.

He lets you believe that you have him fooled, that he believes your story and he begins to walk back to the cabins right before the call for breakfast is sounded. You follow after him breathing in a sigh of relief that he had believed you.

That night you find it difficult to sleep. You need to find out the meaning of the Morse code, but you don't have access to a book that will help you translate, meaning that you will have to ask around without looking too suspicious.

You decide that a police officer would do nicely, if you seem overly invested in their job, they would just give you the information.

You spot the officer who looks younger than most, you remember his name.

Park Jimin.

You approach him cautiously.

“Officer park?”

He turns around to face you, smiling softly.

Oh, he’s cute you think.

“yes miss?”

You smile at him warmly.

“nothing serious it’s just that I was wondering if you would like some company, it must be a little boring for you out here on your own “

You say to him and you’re glad you asked him because either way his face breaks out into a smile that has your heart fluttering.

“how very kind of you miss! And yes, a little company wouldn't hurt “, he grins at you.

As you strike up conversation, with the officer you fail to notice a figure dressed in black listening in on your conversation. Jungkook listens in as you try and get information out of officer. He knew it. You had also come across the same note, as he had. He wonders what yours said.

He leaves after a bit, leaving both of you oblivious to the fact that he was even there in the first place.

When you get back to your room, you see Jungkook sitting at the foot of his bed frown on his face.

You ignore him and write down the information you'd just got given by Officer Park. You felt a little bad manipulating him when he was so nice but you just had to know what it meant.

Jungkook speaks up.

“that was a nice conversation you were having with Officer Park “

He says,

You whip you’re head up to look at him and closing your notebook harshly.

“What? Were you eavesdropping on my conversation?”

He rolls his eyes

“Why would I be listening to the conservation of the school nerd with a cop? No, I just happened to hear in passing “

You let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding.

“That’s mighty rude of y-" you begin to retort before he cuts you off

“what’s a biology nerd like you need with Morse code?” He asks.

Your mind malfunctions for a moment until you bring yourself back together.

“A little extra knowledge hurts no one you know?” you say appearing nonchalant.

He narrows his eyes

“I know it”

You look at him

“you do?”

He nods,

“why need something translating?” he tries.

You think about it, but ultimately decided against showing him the note you found.

You have no clue what it says. You don’t want him understanding before you do.

You shake your head,

“No, I don’t “

You say, deciding enough is enough and you need to sleep now to be up in the morning.

The next morning you sleep in, meaning that you couldn’t do the work that was set out for you. You stretch and moan as you get out of bed when you sit up and open your eyes fully your locks onto the Bambi ones from across the room. You let out a shriek!

‘What the hell why were you watching me you creeper!’ you say pointing a finger at Jungkook.

He rolls his eyes at you.

‘oh, please don’t flatter yourself’.

‘why didn’t you wake me up? Its so late !’ you question him.

He looks at you and says words that you don’t think that you would hear.

‘I think that we should lay off for a bit strawberry’

You look at him in shock

‘but why!?’

He doesn’t really give you much of an answer in his usual Jungkook manner.

You sigh.

Over the next few weeks, you rarely bump into Jungkook, you see him sometimes in the cafeteria and you can always feel him just watching you it makes you grow warm when you notice his staring.

Jungkook is also going crazy. You drive him crazy.

You guess that you'll have to work at the same pace as everyone, truthfully you had actually caught up with your work that was missed a while ago, you were just doing extra readings to stay ahead. One step ahead of everyone. But you guess that that is going to be changed now.

It had been a while since you had been on your morning trips with jungkook and though you hate to admit it, you kind of missed it.

He wasn't as bad company as you thought he would be, he was oddly quiet which meant that without him talking as much, you really got to admire his beauty. And good lord was he handsome, you understand why people are attracted to him, when his mouth is closed, he’s fine. Basically, you became a little horny when you saw him, it had been ages since you had had sex even masturbated, since you now had room with him.

Jungkook has such strong sharp features which sometimes go all soft, if he pouts while he’s thinking or a bird catches his attention, his eyes will go big and doe like. It's cute. Everybody had two sides you suppose, yours was your horny side (lol what)

Okay maybe, more time to admire him was a bad thing, you did not need to have sexual fantasies with him, no, that was a big no no.

It's been a few weeks since Jungkook had asked you to lay low for a while and in that time, you had been asking around about the killer to the police. You tried your best not to seem suspicious about it though, if they caught on – well it wouldn’t exactly end well. So, you make slow progress, you did make progress though, however.

You could now understand the note and while it scared you, it also ignited something in you that you didn’t even know that you possessed inside of you. You wanted to outdo him, you want to find him, lead him into a trap or something like that anyway. You want to catch him.

Something in the back of your mind is telling you begging you to stop being so stupid, but you ignore and continue to daydream about catching this bastard.

But it can only cure your boredom for a while – you get bored and what better to do when you're bored than to read erotica novels?

You had packed this book with you – the secrets of the alluring painter in France. You had taken to reading at night time on some nights.

Like tonight.

You need a wind down, so you pull out your book, and it has such racy scenes that leave you clenching around nothing.

Your sexual imagination goes wild when you read the erotica in the book and the way they make it seem so fiery, you were no virgin - you knew what sex was like, but never has it been close to the way it is in the book.

You’ve allowed yourself to fall into this horrible habit, at night, when Jungkook is asleep to touch yourself, play with yourself, pretending it is you who is being touched by Kim Taehyung the painter with many secrets.

You feel yourself growing more frustrated with each passage you read, it becomes a little irritating and, you have to touch yourself or you'll go crazy, the man in the book was doing it so well, so hot.

Kim Taehyung, he was described as an utter beauty, soft black hair and soft eyes, a deep voice that just made the reader swoon, you close your eyes and reach your hands down to your shorts, they slip past the hem.

You wish you could moan, wish that you could be vocal, like you were in your bedroom when it was just you and your pillow, but there was one big problem and that was Jeon Jungkook.

Why did you have to room with him?

You lighten your breathing and listen for signs of him being awake, but he seems to be breathing really deep, he is asleep you assure yourself.

You turn the lamp off, at the side of your bed, setting the book on the bedside table.

You trail your hand down your stomach, much like Taehyung had done to the main character, he slowly lets his fingers flutter over the top of her shorts, and you do the same. You build the tension, like it's his beautiful hands working against you.

You pause and let your fingers slip past the hem of your panties, you trace over the fabric covering you - first over your mound, stroking sensually.

How had Taehyung done it?

Right yes, he had used his nails slightly and grazed over lightly, a slight pressure but nothing that hurt - it was just enough to make you squirm under your own touch.

You feel your own wetness, feel how obscene it is in the darkness of the night.

Jungkook is right there, and while it scares you, it also thrills you, you feel a new wave of arousal and adrenaline when you remember he is there.

Slowly and as quietly as possible you shuffle, moving to take your shorts off, it's a little loud but you think that you're okay, Jungkook is out like a log. After a moment you continue to tease yourself.

Running your fingertips over your lips, pressing down on your hole and clenching, withholding the need to hiss.

You raise your hand further and your fingers land right at the centre of your pleasure.

Your clit. Oh, the beautiful bundle of nerves.

You cover your mouth with a hand to stifle the moan that you almost let out when you begin to rub small circles around the sensitive nub.

When you can’t get enough your panties are next to go, and when the cold air hits your wet centre you have to hold your breath, shaky.

You reach down and gather your slick slowly, spreading it all over your centre, making yourself drown in your own arousal, you use your middle and ring finger to slide up and down at a pace that leaves you edged and eager for more, you need to bring yourself to the very edge to get yourself the release that you’re after, you free hand travels up to your ever sensitive boobs, you play with them, brushing over the nipple, making them perk and then groping them while you rub at your clit.

A dirty thought crosses your mind, when you remember the boy who was asleep across from you.

What if, he was the one to touch, the one touching you, with those beautiful hands of his, those big hands.

You stifle another moan, as you think about him, hovering over you, giving it to you just right. You had heard that Jungkook could actually make a girl cum while having sex, that made you a little interested. It’s just he always opens his mouth and is an ass and ruins everything. But right now, in your imagination, only his looks and reputation matter, you twist and turn his character to be someone that you can gain pleasure from.

You can the pleasure increase and you begin to fasten your speed until you feel the signs of your orgasm and then you pull away. Edging yourself.

Your breathing is a little heavy and your work on controlling it, both your hands go to fondle your breasts and you unconsciously lift your hips, humping the air, you lean down again and enter three fingers easily into your own heat.

The squelching sound heard is deafening in the silent room, your cheeks burn red and you pull out slowly, so that was a no no, you would have to focus on your clit for you orgasm. Which was fine because you were so sensitive from playing with yourself, you know that it would only take a few more strokes to get there.

You press the fingers that were just inside of you, against your sensitive bud and you rub in slowly circles and then fastening your place and then slowing once more.

Jungkook comes into your mind again, ugh, now his lips, his pretty pink lips and the way he licks them, and the way they glisten under the sun. What if they were attached to your clit, if he was using his face to give you pleasure, like Taehyung had done to the main character of the novel, God it was so filthy.

Its driving you insane and you love it, the frustration will only make your release all the more powerful.

After a while you feel the fire blooming in your bottom of your stomach, and you quicken your pace to the point where you feel light and the waves of pleasure rack over your whole body.

You press your hand to your mouth again to conceal the gasps that are escaping you, you sigh and fall back onto your pillow feeling so much better and lighter.

Gosh did that feel good. You were aware that in your mind alarms were going off in your mind. You had thought of Jungkook while masturbating. It was a line you have no idea why you crossed. How would you look him in the eye now?

After a while, you pull up your panties and shorts and you promise yourself a shower in the morning.

What you didn't know was that the raven-haired boy of your fantasies was in fact awake and now painfully hard as he listened to your filthy little moans and gasps, he grabs his own member in his pants, strokes slowly. He spreads the pre-cum over his member before setting the fast pace that he liked, his breaths through his nose – to conceal the way his breathing has become strained. His hair becomes damp from sweat and it sticks to his forehead. He came much faster that he would care to admit the thought of you right there yet unreachable the fact that you were so NAUGHTY under all that good girl.

Turning him on, making him needy.

He breathes heavy, thinking of you under him as he squirts out cum into his pants, Jungkook too showers in the morning after you.

After this Jungkook stays up at night, listening to you, seeing if you would do it again, you do and, on those nights, Jungkook cums at the same time as you. He feels a little pathetic, he knows that he can fuck a lot of girls in the class right, but it wasn't you, God he wants it to be you writhing underneath him.

It’s the next morning and you're getting ready for your shower.

You're gathering your clothes and shampoo and creams into a little bundle and are about to open the door to the shower, when it is opened for you. The song that you were softly humming gets stuck in your throat when you register that the door was opened by Jungkook.

A very naked Jungkook.

Your face grows red, and your eyes wander over his gorgeous body, the tattoos that trail up his arm and a few on his waist, God they looked amazing.

Your ogling comes to a stop when he clears his throat. Oh, shit you think - I was staring. You quickly look up and your eyes meet Jungkook's.

He is smirking at you and as soon as you meet his gaze, he lets his own wander over body – taken in the skin that was exposed in your pyjama shorts and a t-shirt that had been small for you since you turned 13 years old.

He looks up and down your body brazenly before meeting your eyes. He licks his lips, and you zero in on it. God it was so annoying that he was this hot.

How could this be happening now? When you had spent a while avoiding him? And him you? Why did this happen after you were thinking of him last night? Oh god you grow red again and you think what if he had heard you? God, that would be embarrassing. You look at his lips again, avoiding his gaze again but maybe his eyes would have been a better option because as soon as you look at his lips, the same filthy thoughts come back to you - you shift uncomfortably trying to calm yourself. In that time, you don't notice but Jungkook has come closer to you.

You register his closeness when a water droplet from his hair falls onto your cheek. You move away slightly.

You don’t realise it but in your extended silence of checking each other out the both of you have moved closer to each other. There is no longer what people would call a healthy distance between the two of you anymore. He looks down at you and licks his lips again. His hair is wet and the way he runs his hand through it – he looks so good like this. Your dirty thoughts run wild again. Its only when another water droplet from his hair falls onto your cheek that you finally snap out of it. You move a step back.

“You look a little hot strawberry is anything the matter?” He asks you, a teasing lilt on his voice.

It’s way too early for this, you cannot be dealing with this right now, not when your mind has gone on a memory flashback to last night and he was right here in front you, so very naked.

Still, you feign your ever composed self.

“I’m just fine” you say through gritted teeth.

“I need to shower and your kind of standing in my way” you tell him.

He chuckles, a deep chuckle, gosh how are you this horny in the morning? Stop it y/n you think.

“I don't think you really mind though do you strawberry, you seem to have a very different secretive side” he says, cocking his head to the side.

You blush, shit had he heard you?

“I have no idea what you're talking about Jungkook” you say to him “I need to shower though”.

You move to get away from his hearted stare but just before you enter the washroom, a hand grabs onto your wrist and pulls you back.

Jungkook looks at you, a deep and confusing stare.

“Be careful, it’s quite wet in there” he says and then his tongue pokes into the side of his cheek. Then suddenly, he lets you go and walks off to his side of the room, your left in shock at his words and quickly scurry to get into the bedroom before more heated tension breaks through.

You shake your head of all thoughts and quickly go into the shower, what you don’t realise is that you accidently drop something, the note with the raven-haired boy who you had left in the bedroom.

Its later on during this day that Jungkook approaches you.

'Hey strawberry’ he says to you.

You raise your eyebrows at him, what’s with his sudden kindness.

‘hey’ you reply voice dipped in surprised.

‘Oh, shut up, I just came to talk to you’.

You look at him.

‘I didn’t say anything but okay…. talk then’ you gesture your hands between your two bodies.

He lets out an exasperated gasp.

‘The note – did you find one?’ he asks. You still in the next sip of coffee that you were going to take. You feel yourself grow cold. How did he find out?

He looks at you.

‘So, you did’.

‘I didn’t say that’ you say tone slightly higher than normal – you were a terrible liar.

He laughs at you

‘Hmm is that so?’

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about Jungkook’.

He looks at you, more serious this time.

“Listen y/n there's no point playing dumb, I found your stupid note anyway”.

You watch mortified as he pulls out the note that you had thought was in your pocket. Well shit then.

“I- I have never seen that before in my life Jungkook” you can't let him know; he would ruin everything - you convince yourself.

He looks at you, he’s getting annoyed that you're lying to him. He pokes his tongue against his cheek again.

“I suggest you stop lying”.

You scoff.

“Why would I ever need to lie to you your nobody to me Jungkook”.

Something akin to hurt flashes across his face for a few seconds before he slams his hands on the table.

“I don’t think you know what you're even getting into strawberry”.

You gather your belongings getting up, you need to get away from him.

“And I don't think you know what the fuck you're talking about Jungkook”.

You walk off leaving him there, but he follows after you,

“Listen I found one too, you don't need to be miss hero or anything”.

You carry on walking, not bothering to give him an answer, he would want to tell the teachers and everyone, they would cancel the trip and then how would you finish gathering your evidence? No, he was insane.

“I don’t know what you're talking about”.

‘you think your so fucking slick, don’t you? Asking around and acting unsuspicious but your wrong I could sense your stupid plan from a mile away’ he says to you, pulling you on your arm effectively stopping you so you can't walk away from him anymore. You struggle out of his hold.

‘and so, what? So, what if you know? What the hell are you going to do Jungkook? Tell on me? Are you going to threaten to tell the teachers because you know what? I’ve been thinking about it and I think they would much rather take my word for yours and all this work I’ve been doing for you – I could easily go right now and show the teachers and say that you forced me to do it!! ’

He looks at you angrily, looks like he is going to swear or curse you out but then his face relaxes.

‘you say that baby, but the truth is I have money and you don’t if I want to manipulate something I can because I have the means and power to do so, my dad's made himself something while yours totted away in the fucking garbage can’.

You feel the anger come over you and he smirks at you.

‘real fucking classy Jeon, yeah insult my parents – like it's their fault they were born into a world where people are born with silver spoons on their mouth, and at least my parents love me Jungkook’

His eyes flash with hurt

‘how do you now my parents don't love me you little bitch?’

You laugh an empty laugh at his face.

‘just look at you – you’re the very definition of boohoo my parents don't love me so I'm going to kick up a mess, so they notice me for once’.

He groans in frustration at your words then.

Somehow amidst your confrontation with Jungkook you had managed to reach your room, why are you here? Why did your feet have to leave you here?

You walk into the room and as soon as he gets in, Jungkook grabs you by the wrist and pins you against the door, your books and pencils fly across the room and while your mortified - he doesn't even bat an eyelid.

Your breathing is both heavy as you look each other in the eyes, waiting for the other to say something.

You struggle against his hold, uselessly, curse him for doing his workout routine every morning.

“You found the fucking note y/n when you went missing in the woods that day, the note that’s in Morse code, the note that you spent a week trying to decode, don't act fucking dumb” he grits out.

You still try and keep up your act,

“I have no clue in the world what you're talking Jeon, I think you're going fucking insane” you seethe out

He growls, yes, he growls.

“Your seriously fucking pissing me off now, I know you did, I know you found it”.

“Fuck off, Jungkook does it look like I care if I am fucking pissing you off”.

He looks into your eyes again and whispers something like “fucking priss” before he is connecting your lips in a kiss, a kiss that is full of ego, passion and heat. You can feel in searing through your body so fiery, setting your nerves alight.

He is relentless in his pace. His mouth against yours and God indeed Jungkook is good kisser. Before you knees grow weak you move your hands to tangle in his hair and you pull at the end causing him groan against his lips, when he does you swipe your tongue into his mouth getting a taste. You pull harder, and he groans again. It was a sound that you know you would like to hear again.

His hands move from the door and one tangles in your hair while the other presses harshly on your waist. You gasp at the pleasure and at this he takes over, he fights your own tongue for dominance and once he wins, he is rough, he wants all his saliva in your mouth, wants his taste on you, wants you to feel him in every way.

When he knows that your just as enthralled by his kisses he pulls back to taunt you - whispering the words against you bruised lips.

“You act like such a fucking little priss don't you? Act like your better than me? Lying to me? Fuck you drive me insane”.

He attacks your neck now, leaving open mouthed kisses along your ear and neck. He nibbles lightly at a few areas and when he gets to just the right place - where your breath hitches and you move your thighs together he bites down harshly without warning and you try you best to suppress your moans. Not wanting to give him any satisfaction.

“I am better than you” you say to him breathlessly, “I don’t just act like it, I am”.

He bites harder at that and you wince - Jungkook is painting you skin wine and purple and your letting him and it feels so goddamn good. He pulls you back by the hair to look at him,

“You don't look much better than me when you are bending at my will, when you're looking so fucked out and I’ve done is fucking kiss you”.

Your answer is swallowed by a moan that you let out as he takes you breasts into his big hands, and squeezes hard, you pull him up from your neck and kiss him again, his lips, your lips bruising and fighting against one another.

He trails his hand down further and dances around the hem of your pants for a while, and you place your own over his, just as your about to lead him further down a knock is heard at your door.

You both freeze

“y/n?” A voice calls out.

You calm yourself before answering, still a little shaky.

“Yes?”

“Our guest speaker has arrived, I just thought you might like to ask him a few questions before he gives his talk”.

Jungkook swears under his breath, raking a hand through his hair.

“You fucking nerd”.

He pulls you back by your pony tail and the back of your head lands on his shoulder, he tilts you slightly, so he has better access to kiss and leave more marks against your skin.

“Ah- I thank you, I’ll come in an ah- while” you say, and you hear the footsteps walk off, Jungkook spins you around and he goes to kiss you again, but you pull away.

“No, just, stop I have to go and talk”.

He looks at you “you fucking nerd” he kisses you once more, like he can't get enough of your mouth.

You pull away again.

uh what in the fuck just happened you think.

This was not meant to happen.

“Look Jungkook, I did, that is my note and I- I’ll, we can talk just not now, okay? I-I have to go. This is important"

He doesn't say anything, just watches as you fix your appearance in the mirror, an appearance he had ruined, and he smirks a little in triumph. He watches as you gather your books that had been thrown onto the floor and he watches as your ass is on display for him and God, he wishes he could grab a handful, but he doesn’t. He just watches.

You walk out the room, without so much as looking at him again and he feels oddly rejected.

He knows that you had felt good, he had heard you groan against his mouth, grind against his clothed member but he hadn't ever been walked out on before. He's not sure what exactly he is feeling. Its not a good feeling - that he was walked out on and for some old ass lecturer too.

He watches the door close, and he sits and waits for you to finish being a nerd. But truthfully it is a little hot to him that you’re so independent, you do things for yourself, your confidence and your wit, it makes you fun, you piss him off, but your company is nicer than the ones that he is used to.

He sighs what the fuck is he getting himself into.

You take a breath as you exit the room,

What in the fuck just happened? you think.

Well, when you promised Jungkook that you would talk to him you hadn't been in your right mind. Why did you agree to that like fuck? You have no idea what to even say. How do you even start that conversation like...?

"Hey, was just wondering if you would like to you know? Go on a hunt for a serial killer with me?"

Gosh this was so stupid and the kiss, gosh your face heats up as you remember the way he had kissed you - oh so sweet and so naughty!

Gosh you were in bad, as an adult you decide to deal with the problem logically, you'll just ignore him. That will work, Jungkook had a small attention span anyway. You're sure he would forget. You really hope he does.

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souryogurt64 · 2 years

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do you have a ranking of all of FOB's albums?

sorry this got buried under taylor swift discourse but here is my half assed chronological album commentary because every fall out boy song and album is good

EOWYG: obviously this album is not good and obviously rushed, which is why they did not want it released. however, i think it has "good bones." i live right by the (closed) cafe where the album cover was shot and walk by it pretty much every time i leave the house and i get chills every time knowing that was where so much started. a lot of lines are very bad and do not fit the beat and obviously are slapped together but there are certain lines that i feel really capture the essence of fall out boy and also make my chest hurt. this album really captures this sort of rough midwestern wannabe wes anderson 80s romance protagonist indie coming of age energy in such a potent, ugly, and raw way. lines like "when the moonlight hits your bright eyes i go blind" and "do you mind if i stand next to you and watch you smile, ive seen your boyfriend and i dont think he treats you right, but thats none of my business is it" are a little ham fisted but theres just something about it. "the next time the phone wrings my neck." "switchblades and infidelity." you can also tell how much potential patricks voice has and sense this building energy hiding under the bad production and slightly off kilter performance that demonstrates how much potential they had.

i feel similarly about the arma angelus album, where its largely terrible but you can sense this sort of energy. and i feel like eowyg was such a good demonstration of petes businessman recognition that tons of lovesick teenage girls were showing up at hardcore shows and stalking his livejournal with intense fantacism, and he realized if he bottled and marketed this machismo ridden boys club to girls in a way that appealed to them as a "boy band" it was going to be his big break. its also so authentic, with "five tired boys" as a gutwrenching nostalgia for a life youve never had love song to throwing your life away for the sake of the scene whether theres payoff or not, especially the bridge. i think i can trace the emotion i felt hearing that song off a zip file i torrented to my mp3 player in middle school (along with seeing later tttyg music videos) to fighting with my parents constantly 10 years later because i want to be a waitress and wear beat up shoes so i can afford to do unpaid tours

i didnt expect to write this much about this bastard child of an album that is largely considered to suck and few people know exists, but i also really love how pete looks on the album cover. i feel like it'd be rude to say that it captures their personalities since andy is missing, but i like that joe is mid-sentence and mid-hand-gesture, i like that patrick is sitting basically on top of pete and so hunched down and barely visible behind his glasses listening to whatever the waitress has to say. and pete. pete is wearing this cunty white collared shirt and tie that isn't tightened all the way like hes trying to pull chicks when thats undoubtedly tucked into bootcut jeans, staring at the waitress with some stupid lemme smash expression that shows off his jawline like the egotistical, tabloid heartthrob hed later become. go to hell

TTTYG: i think TTTYG is weak in a lot of places. i think a lot of the songs sound incredibly similar to each other so its hard to pick out any one good song thats stronger than any of their later sings, except for "grand theft autumn" which is the "national anthem" for a reason. that being said, the album taken as a whole has a very powerful and distinct feel and i enjoy the screaming a lot and the unbelievably angsty and deliberately double-entendre homoerotic lyrics like "he just made my list of things to do" and "he is well hung and i am hanging--"

a lot of people either love or hate tttyg and im not sure why, i dont feel like its exceptionally terrible or particularly strong. i really like it though, i would probably rank individual songs lower than a lot of other fob songs but i like the overall feel of the album all together

FUTCT: also an incredible album. i really like how bitter and kind of dark and sardonic this one feels. the last one was obviously rageful and there was a lot of screaming and stuff but it all felt a lot more childish and superficial— and there’s a time in your life for those emotions but the emotions on this record just felt a little more complex.

also all the songs sound much different which wasnt really the case with tttyg. i also really like the experimentation with spoken word and the deliberate homoeroticism, particularly in get busy living. snitches and talkers was taken off this album and is a bonus track, but i love it a lot. i also love petes experimenting with whispered hidden messages on various versions of the album, a few of which have not been decoded to this day, which im sure hes very pleased about. i also think the album kind of gets progressively darker generally except for maybe 16 candles, but the video for 16 candles was pretty dark so idk. i also really love a lot of the guitar on the album, it just stands out to me for some reason. the lyrics on this album grew up so much compared to take this to your grave or tttyg and you can really see pete starting to play to his strengths as a writer and how his and patrick’s relationship started to get into a system that brought out the strengths of the band at the time,

Ioh: this is probably widely considered fobs best album and was at the height of their career, and i really like it. if i had to pick one favorite fall out boy song i feel like i would pick hum hallelujah. i really like how pete explores religion and christianity/catholicism in fall out boy and i feel like this record is where you see the most of that, except maybe mania, although its on srar and futct as well.

my favorite tracks are probably carpal tunnel and ive got all this ringing, and hum hallelujah and im like a lawyer, and youre crashing. too many favorite tracks. i feel the way this album explores general human conflict through being famous and through religion is really cool and feels very real. i also like a lot of the more unconventional stuff they did like the choir in crashing or the sort of toy noises in afterlife or the windup sounds in mmrs, those are some of my favorite parts of the album. im sorry im not writing more i just feel like everyone knows this is a really good album and it did really well and its just so big and biblical culty feeling i dont need to write a novel

fad: this was my favorite album in high school, so i kind of listened to it too much and am still recovering from that (im not afraid to flex that i was in the top .001% of fob listeners this year so i am serious about listening to them too much lmfao). folie is widely considered now at least to be ahead of its time.

a lot of the album feels really grand and i really like all the instruments they used, it felt like an intensification of what they were doing with infinity on high.

some of my favorite tracks are west coast smoker, headfirst slide, was, and 27. headfirst slide is my favorite song of this album right now, its so good. i also appreciate the return to slam poetry on this album complete with the slam poetry percussion. committing to the bit. i feel like everyone on tumblr loves this album anyway

srar: i was 13-14 when this album came out so this was my introduction to fall out boy and holds a really special place in my heart because of that. i feel like its got a sort of anger that wasnt on any of the albums since tttyg and i really just loved that as a middle schooler and wanting to be a part of something angry and put on my war paint or whatever, especially when mcr were on the tail end of their killjoys shit around the same time. the youngblood chronicles were also amazing. i wont ever watch the youngblood chronicles again because i dont want to lose my memory of watching it in someones basement at age 14 not knowing literally anything about fall out boy and thinking it was totally amazing.

i also really love the album art, i usually dislike photo album art but this one is very good.

my favorite tracks are where did the party go and just one yesterday. my least favorite track is probably mighty fall EXCEPT for big seans verse, thats one of my favorite parts of the album. i dont know if big sean wrote his own verse or not but i feel like “i know you said not to call unless im dying but im driving and i cant stop staring at my eyelids” is such a pete wentz line. miss missing you is also excellent.

young volcanoes also has a soft spot in my heart, i didnt really listen to anything except justin bieber and one direction and taylor swift at that age and i was raised on a lot of kidz bop and vacation bible school type garbage so this music was a little hard for my tastes except for that song which i couldn’t stop listening to even though it arguably had the most traumatizing music video.

a lot of people older than me fucking hate this album, probably for the same reasons i initially hated mania, but i really like it and i really dont think it sounds that different than the rest of fall out boy and think its really good.

ABAP: i listen to AB/AP the least, and i think its my technical "least favorite," but not because its a "bad" album, because i was in high school and very into fob when it came out so some of the songs feel a bit overplayed to me, like uma thurman and centuries. its also my least favorite album cover by a long shot and album art is very important to me. immortals is also probably my least favorite fob song of all time. it also was for a movie so it feels slightly out of place. pete has talked about how rushed AB/AP was and i think its a solid album, especially for the timeframe, but feels a bit rushed-- centuries wasnt their song, their 3 major singles were overplayed and associated with high school for me, and songs like novocaine feel like SRAR songs because they were SRAR songs. however, songs like irresistible and kids arent alright are absolute knockouts-- i feel like irresistible is such a fall out boy and such a pete wentz song despite having the more modern production and musical style, and kids arent alright is heartwrenching. irresistible is one of my most played songs of this year.

mania: full disclosure, when young and menace came out, i was a senior in high school and i snuck out of class to listen to it and i literally cried in the bathroom because i hated it so much. It was on the radio too and whenever it came on my friends and family would comment on how terrible and unlistenable and annoying it was and it made me so embarrassed to be a fall out boy fan and not give the song another chance because I was more focused on fitting in than actually forming my own opinion and also refusing to give something another chance based off the wrong expectations. I felt like it was a bad song but it’s not a bad song, it just is a non traditional song that’s more of an art piece than a catchy single. I didn’t really give mania a chance because it was different and not what I wanted— and I liked ABAP and SRAR, I wasn’t a whiner about their new music up until that point.

However, now mania is one of my favorite albums and I literally ration how much I listen to it because i like it so much. It’s shorter than i’d like, but rock albums are much, much shorter now. I think it’s a really good exploration of being in a state where you’re not sure if you’re fully in touch with reality or if you’re really experiencing things that are rare, like fame and greatness and true love and religion. i used really like to listen to this album on substances, especially y&m and bishops knife trick, and its amazing. the only other fob songs that i personally think are super fun on substances are headfirst slide and afterlife of the party.

i also think the album art and (some of) the merch was really pretty, and its some of the only band merch ive purchased that i consistently wear and use. i got the vip pack and i didnt feel like it was overpriced. some of their other shit not in the pack was some of the ugliest and most overpriced garbage they’ve put up for sale. however the album art was so pretty i cant get over it. its my favorite album art definitely. i didnt like the llamas though— my roommate was a llama so im allowed to say that. i did really, really love their intro and what they had on the screen during hella mega. it was so much better than the emoji shit during abap, i loved it and it was very immersive and child-like but also grown up in a way the llamas were not. but pete is a furry so he needs his stupid costumes

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mymegumi · 3 years

Text

aere perrenius

pairing: akaashi keiji x gn!reader

genre: fluff, strangers to lovers, writer!akaashi and librarian!reader

word count: 2.7k words

warnings: disgusting amounts of fluff

summary: more lasting than bronze. a once in a lifetime opportunity turns into a twice in a lifetime chance, and before you realize it, it just turns into a potential lifetime

dedicated: to miss issy ( @cafemiya ) kind beyond words, incredible beyond compare

You’d once thought that life was cruel to you, a single librarian that ended up helping children find picture books and nasty teenagers that had to pay their overdue library fees. You often just moved through the movements, walking to the library every single day, picking up coffees for everyone that worked with you that day, and nothing ever really changed.

Until today.

Today, when you walked into the coffee shop that was only a block away from the library—a small little out of the way place that served the best croissants with chocolate butter you’d ever had before—you were shocked to note that there was another singular figure in the shop with you.

Typically when you went in, it was early enough in the morning that you beat out the high schoolers and people who went to their 9-5 jobs, yet you always managed to miss the people who worked night shifts, so the barista often told you.

Today, however, there was a singular figure sitting at a table, laptop on the table with a small white mug of coffee in his hands, glasses perched precariously on the bridge of his nose as he seemed intent to read whatever it is was on his screen.

His hair was curling over thin golden frames, flowing over his forehead and spilling against his ears as he pressed his lips to the coffee mug, blue eyes focused on the words before him. The morning light had not yet seemed to crest the mountains of skyscrapers that littered the Japanese skyline, so the warm lights of the cafe seemed to soften the edges around him, making him angelic as he just relaxed there.

Perhaps it was the pure shock of seeing him, or even just the lack of sleep you always seemed to suffer from in the mornings following a weekend, but something led to your mistake of forgetting to conceal your admiration of him.

In your trance of adoration, you simply forget the cafe has a bell over the door.

He glances his up when he finishes taking a sip from his drink, offering a smile your way in the way that two people up way too early would share a smile with each other—as if only the two of you knew the secrets that the sunrise would whisper if only you would wake early enough to listen.

“Your usual?”

The barista, a sweet girl named Akira who seemed to be pumped full of espresso for she was way too peppy for this time of the hour, draws your attention away from the man sitting by himself at the window table.

“To go, right?” When you shake your head, she laughs slightly, inputting your usual order into the computer just for her to end up making it only a few seconds later, “What’s with the change today, you always take it straight to the library.”

When she sees you steal a glance at the mysterious stranger, she leans in with a hand cupped around her mouth, devastatingly wicked glint in her eyes as she whispers to you, “He came in a couple of minutes of go, saying he’s new in town. A writer, if you could believe it. Maybe you could warm him up to the area?”

“I have to go to work soon,” you hiss back softly, feeling the warmth take over your cheeks as you resolutely refuse to look back at him in case he heard her gossiping.

“Yet, you’re taking your coffee here?”

She, unfortunately, raises her eyebrows suggestively at you as she slides your drink to you in a small white mug resting on a dish, steaming and hot with a less heated croissant on a separate dish. You make a noise of disbelief as you carefully adjust your bag on your shoulder, taking your breakfast with you to a seat, not too close to the writer and yet not too far away that you are unable to admire him.

Pulling out a book from your bag, you are content to just read and settle in for a few minutes that you would normally spend in the library doing random work until the doors unlocked. It’s a newer novel you’d just picked up from a bookstore, and it was only because the author would be visiting the library soon, so you wanted to get a feel for the writing style, in case there were any questions that the people had for the staff.

“A good read, is it?”

You don’t really register that anyone is talking to you, at first, instead intent on just reading In Regards to Aces before it clicks in your mind two facts; one, that you are indeed holding a book and reading, and two, that you are only one of three people in the establishment, not to mention one of the three was just a barista making herself a coffee.

When it hits you that the stupidly attractive man at the window is indeed talking to you, you shove a bookmark in the spot you were reading as you turn to him, “Ah, yeah, it is, though I don’t have much to say on it considering I just started reading it.”

“Initial thoughts, then?” His smile soothes you a bit, making you relax from the initial tension you’d felt, “I’ve found the author tends to use verbiage that rambles on, but that’s my own opinion on it.”

“Well, from what I have read so far,” you set the book on the table, star embellished cover twinkling in the lights of the cafe, “I like the way that the author describes the character’s feelings—it felt really authentic, and added to the atmosphere for the story.”

“Well, just wait until you read the ending,” he raises an eyebrow at you and a playful look comes across his face for a second before disappearing, “it’s a real gutwrencher, honestly, I’m surprised the author had decided to take it in that direction.”

“Well, hopefully I’ll be able to read a good part of it before the end of the day,” you muse, hand running idly along the edges of the pages, “I’m hoping to be able to talk to the author during the meet and greet later today at the library.”

He makes a thoughtful noise, a small content smile on his face as he sets his mug down on the saucer. There’s a look in his eyes, something that says that he knows something that you don’t, and yet when you go to ask about it, he says instead, “Tell me what you think of it when you finish it, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it.”

You watch as he begins to pack up his things, tucking the laptop away into a sleek black backpack, all while sipping gingerly on your drink, “Of course, perhaps I’ll see you again, I’m usually here before work.”

“I look forward to it.”

He shoots you a smile over his shoulder as he leaves the cafe, throwing away his things and setting aside his dishes before he exits. Watching him walk down the street, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Gosh,” Akira’s voice makes you jump in your seat slightly, “he was really pretty; you think he was a model?”

“I don’t know, but he could be if he wanted to be,” you smile to yourself as you check your phone, swearing as you realize you might be a few minutes late, “I gotta get to work, I’ll see you tomorrow morning!”

Chugging the rest of your drink, of which has cooled significantly, you end up rushing out of the door of the coffee shop, leaving a good tip for Akira before you go.

A meet-cute. Is that what that would’ve been considered?

Walking into the library, you have a dopey smile on your lips, and the meeting from the morning lets you float your way through work as if your feet haven’t touched the ground.

The writer meet and greet wasn’t for another few hours so when you were putting books back on the shelves, and when the flow of people tended to slow down, your nose was tucked gently into the pages of the book you’d picked up.

It was wonderfully written, with words that seemed to suck you in and captivate you, unable to truly pay attention to what you needed to be doing. You were so ecstatic to be meeting the author, to be able to see what sort of person they’d turned out to be.

They had been pretty secretive, declining interviews left and right and no one has been able to figure out who they were. No one really knew if Akaashi Keiji was their real name, or just a pen name either, a ghost writer who wanted to leave their mark on the world without claiming any credit for the impression they’d leave behind.

Truth be told, it was something you admired in them.

There was something special about someone wanting to create something, and yet walking about their daily life knowing that not a single person would recognize them for it. They weren’t doing it for fame, or for money, but because they truly enjoyed writing and creating books for people to enjoy.

“If you keep yourself in that book, you’ll never get these shelves done,” shit, you’d thought you tucked yourself far enough into the autobiography section that your coworker, Kaori, wouldn’t be able to find you, “what book is it this time?”

“In Regards to Aces…”

She raises an eyebrow at you, glancing at the big poster of the book’s cover displayed only a few feet away from the pair of you, “Uh-huh, gonna suck up to the writer? Get you a rich, anonymous sugar daddy?”

“Pft,” you smile at her with a crooked grin, “let’s be inclusive here, we don’t know if they identify as a guy, Kaori.”

She shrugs a shoulder at you as you begin to push the cart filled with returned books into the aisle, making your way to the front of the library, “Actually, Akaashi and I went to high school together. When he got famous, everyone at our school, like, made a silent pact to respect his privacy.”

“You know the Akaashi Keiji?” You give her an incredulous look, feet planting firmly in front of the help desk of the library, “As in, coming to our library, has won multiple National Book Awards in a row for their novels Akaashi Keiji?”

“Yeah,” she picks something off of her shirt with a sour look on her face, “I’m pretty sure Bokuto threatened a guy that said he’d leak Akaashi’s school name, but it might’ve been the whole group of them, honestly.”

“Bokuto…” you look at her with a bewildered look in your eyes, “Bokuto Koutarou, MSBY wing spiker, Bokuto?”

“Yeah,” she smiles brightly at you, which you quickly erase with a hand smacking her firmly in the arm, “Oh my god, what was that for?!”

“For not telling me you were surrounded by future celebrities in high school?!”

“Oh, as if there isn’t one person from your school that got famous,” Kaori levels a glare at you as she rubs her arm.

The pair of you are sitting at the reception area now at the front of the library, watching people flow into the seating area set up for the meet and greet. A copy of the book’s cover is set up next to the author’s seat, which is on a small raised platform behind a small red barrier.

“I’m pretty sure a kid in the grade above me moved to Argentina?” She laughs at your answer, a hand over her mouth as someone steps up to the desk, taking both of your attention away from the conversation, “Hey, how can we help yo— oh! Hi, again, how are you?”

Standing before you, straps of his backpack slipping off of his shoulders and glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose. There’s a little bit of a smile on his lips as he sighs, “Oh. Hello, I’m good. I rushed here because I was worried about being late—Kaori?”

“Akaashi,” she smiles at him, hand reaching out to shake his hand easily as you stare at the both of them flabbergasted, “Didn’t you get my text earlier about you coming to the library?”

“No, I was busy with the moving vans,” he turns his gaze on you and you swear your mouth dries up a little bit, “After I got a cup of coffee, I was arguing with the movers about a van of stuff that got lost. Turns out they were on the wrong side of town.”

“You mean to tell me,” you interrupt, hand coming up to stop Kaori from speaking, eyes trained on the wavy-haired man in front of you, “that you asked for my opinion on your book? Your own book?”

He gives a cheeky grin, teeth showing as he raises an eyebrow, “It’s easier to hear honest opinions if people don’t know I’m the author.”

You roll your eyes at him before he turns back to Kaori for a quick second, “Kaori, would you mind getting me some water, oh and maybe even a snack?”

She nods easily, hair swishing lightly as she pats you on the back and leaves, “‘Course, meet you up on the stage, bigshot.”

When she leaves, there’s a bit of an awkward silence, something like you don’t know what to say, and yet you know if you were to say anything, something might change. It’s only a feeling, but you suddenly want to spend as much time with this man as possible.

Now in the late afternoon light, you study him in a way you didn’t get to before. The warm sunlight that filters in through the windows makes his hair seem a bit light, but still just as unruly as it was this morning. His eyes are inquisitive, sharp in a way that observes and analyzes all within a moment’s notice.

There are patches of red and blue light dancing along his shoulders, refractions from the sun through the stained glass windows. His shirt is a little wrinkled but otherwise neat, one of the sides untucked as his loose tie hangs from around his neck.

He’s even prettier in the daylight, you decide.

“I’m sorry lied to you this morning,” his voice drops a little bit, inflection careful as he looks at you, “I promise I won’t lie to you anymore, if that means anything.”

“Well, if I catch wind of you lying,” you start, sidestepping the swinging door of the counter to start walking towards the stage area, “I’ll make your life a living nightmare, I know where you get your coffee, sir.”

“Oh, not the coffee,” He holds his hands up in surrender, “I loved their dark roast, where else in the town am I supposed to get it?”

“That, mister, sounds like a you problem,” you want to see him smile more, is the first thing you think when he laughs, “but only if you get on my bad side.”

“Do you think going out for dinner sometime might put me on your good side?”

There are moments in life that can shatter and alter the way that you think and perceive things for the future. For instance, that one time a teacher had given you a recommendation on a book had jumpstarted your love of reading which had turned into a job with lovely friends. If not for that one teacher, who knew where you would be now, because life is funny and doesn’t work out the way you think it will when things aren’t set exactly in motion.

This is one of those moments, and you know it is, because as he asks you out on, assumably, on a date, you envision a life for yourself.

A life filled with moments and snapshots with Akaashi Keiji at your side. He kisses your cheek one morning as you both make coffee for each other, his hand is warm on the small of your back as he leads you through the grocery store, and his voice is loving as he whispers to you at night before you fall asleep.

Now, you’ve always been somewhat a romantic, but you think this is the first time you’ve ever envisioned a life like this upon a second meeting. As Akaashi waits for your response, face neutral but content, you smile to yourself.

“Yeah,” you respond, leaning close to bump your shoulder against his gently, “I think getting dinner might boost your standings with me.”

#akaashi keiji fanfiction #akaashi keiji x reader #akaashi keiji x you #akaashi x you #akaashi x reader #akaashi keiji #hq!! akaashi #hq!! fluff #haikyuu!! akaashi #haikyuu!! fluff #grind for the wealth

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yungidreamer · 4 years

Text

Generosity

Summary: The Christmas holidays come and San joins her and her family for the holiday celebrations. He is made to feel like one of the family while Yunho and Mingi have their own celebrations at home. After the big day, Mingi is invited over to Yunho's so he can get away from his family and the boys plan a naughty show for their girl.

word count: 9.5k

Content warnings: Warm family stuff, mourning the things you wish you had, car sex, anal sex, a little bit of consensual exhibitionism and voyeurism, and a little bit of angst about not always having the love and the family that everyone deserves to have.

“Honey, it’s time to get up!” Her mother’s voice drifted through the door to her sleepy ears. It had taken her so long to fall asleep last night. Really, there wasn’t a good reason for it. She had even gone to bed early. It was Christmas Eve and she was actually looking forward to Christmas. San was staying over, finally agreeing when her father insisted that he come when his dad, again, went out of town over the holiday period.

It had been fun to have him around, not only because he was fun to hang around with in general, but because he was actually really good with her brother. Jacob was in that weird teenage period of his life where everyone in the family was just too uncool and none of them could possibly understand the things he liked and the things they liked, well, he would never give them a chance. But somehow, San could be cool. Jacob liked San. He liked having him there and seemed to think that they were on the same team. Really, it was fucking adorable.

In the couple of days before he came over she and her mother had gone shopping for a few things to put under the tree for him. Her mother had picked out a few items of clothing of the same sort that she had gotten for her own kids, as well as some things for school like a nice pen and a day planner. She had gotten him a tub of that bubbly face mask and a couple of sheet masks for him to use when he was back at school by himself. She also bought him a gift card for a music service and an IOU for a bus ticket to visit them sometime next semester. Her father had gotten him a new leather wallet, saying it was the sort of thing all adult men should really have.

She spent the evening before he arrived making sure that it was all wrapped and properly tagged. The thing from her father she put his name on, the clothes came from Santa as they always did, school supplies from mom, and the facemask, IOU, and gift card were from her. The presents were tucked in alongside all the others to be put out under the tree after everyone went to bed on Christmas Eve.

San arrived on the day before Christmas Eve and was immediately understood where she had gotten her instinct for cozy places. It was very apparent they were a Christmas sort of people. Their house had been warm and welcoming over Thanksgiving, with a nice atmosphere and plenty of food to be had, but the house itself had just looked like, well, a nice house. Between now and then it felt a little like elves had stopped by to make every corner just a little more festive. Christmas knick knacks were put on every shelf and sill and a massive Christmas tree had been put in front of the big picture window at the front of the house, making it visible to anyone who passed by.

It was really the small details that hit him though. If you didn’t look too closely, it looked like one of those pleasant cottagey sorts of homes that were picture perfect in their homey mismatched decor, but when he looked a little closer, it was far more authentic than that description would credit. On the hearth were an assortment of figures, small and made from porcelain, each different from each other. One was a little bassinet on a sled with the words Baby’s First Christmas. When he picked it up he could see her birth year on the back and a small chip on the base on one side. There was another Baby’s First Christmas from a few years later, obviously for Jacob’s first Christmas. A third was Our First Christmas. They were all mementos of important years, important moments in their lives.

The large fake tree they had was covered with a hodgepodge of ornaments that were everything from enamel baubles, to stained glass pieces, to popular characters, to animated scenes that encapsulated holiday moments or stories. As he looked through them he could see that they were all dated and named and had been collected over the course of the last couple of decades.

It was interesting, he could see the personalities of each of the members come out in their choices. Her mother liked things that were beautiful and artistic. Her ornaments included a sparkling star of stained glass, a large three dimensional heart made of enamel which was decorated with a wreath of holly around its middle, and something that looked like a hollow sugar egg filled with a sparkling winter scene.

Her father seemed to like somewhat simple and straightforward ornaments. His included a globe shaped ball of wood, covered with an inlaid design of the star and the three wise men. Another was a small wreath decorated with small balls of various colors that reflected the lights of the tree when it was set in its branches. Perhaps San’s favorite of his was the bubble-like iridescent glass ball that had three smaller glass balls set inside of it. It was just eye catching, how it caught the light, when you finally noticed it.

Jacob’s ornaments were mostly reflective of his likes, full of super heroes, book characters, and animals. They were expressive and lively, much like the kid himself. Really, his were probably the easiest to pick out as almost all of them were only incidentally Christmasy: Superman carrying a wreath, a puppy ripping open some presents, Harry Potter on a broom with his wand out. He was clearly following the family tradition, but not because of a special like of the holiday which seemed apparent in the choices made by everyone else.

She seemed to love things that were animated, seasonal, and nostalgically captured moments. There were a number of ornaments with little moving parts like a mouse on the pendulum inside of a little clock or a kitten that rocked as it played with an ornament near a hearth. She also loved little lit scenes like a gingerbread like house that had windows that lit up with bright orangey light from the inside. So many of them were little places and little moments you wanted to step inside and live in their coziness.

He loved it and it was all just so...them. Christmas had always been fun and warm at home but a little more formal, planned, and stilted. They had their traditions and way of doing things, but, he supposed, thinking back at it now, his parents had been in a world of their own and he had happily been along for the ride. It was probably what had made the loss of his mother so hard for his father. They had their world, their way of doing things, their household. It hurt a little to confront but he couldn’t change it. He could, however, do better himself when he found someone and had kids of his own. He wanted to make a place where everyone felt loved and welcome, like her family had done for him.

On Christmas Eve, the whole family, San included, had gathered in the living room to watch their favorite Christmas movie. Their dad put in the DVD of A Muppet Christmas Carol, while her mom got out the large tub of flavored popcorns they always got from the school fundraiser. She recommended the caramel kettle corn to San and he had been right, it was pretty good, as was the cheesy version which her brother was very fond of. They watched the movie, singing along with the songs, and it was apparent that all of them had watched it many, many times and would happily do so in years to come. When the movie was over, they had all gone to bed to let Santa come and so that everyone could get up bright and early to start Christmas.

San had curled up in his bed in the study and fallen asleep quickly in the warm comfort of the house. Jacob was happy to go to his room, but spent a few hours reading before he actually went to sleep. Her parents were quick and efficient in their preparations, laying out all the presents and setting out the stuff that would just make the morning go faster when it came. She, on the other hand, tried to go to sleep, but instead tossed and turned, feeling lonely without the arms of the boys there to hold her as she was going to sleep. She did finally fall asleep after a few hours, but still slept fitfully as she still reached for them even in her sleep.

When morning came and her mother roused her from her bed, she climbed out and headed to the living room to join the rest of her family. She ran into San in the hallway along the way and they walked down the hallway arm in arm to the dining room table. Everyone picked up their portion of sticky buns and a cup of cider or coffee and headed into the living room to eat around the tree. While her mom had warmed up the baked goods in the oven, her father had laid a fire in the fireplace, turned on the tree, and put on some quiet Christmas music to make the mood.

It was the best Christmas morning San could have hoped for. He sat himself beside her, laughing and chatting with her as they ate the little morning snack for breakfast. She looked tired and her hair was still a little bit of a mess, having come out without having done her hair to join the family for the homey holiday morning. He gave her a hug with one arm around her shoulders and mussed her hair affectionately.

“Hey, I’m already looking messed up enough, I don’t need any help with it,” she joked, lightly smacking his hands away.

“You look cute,” San assured her. “I should take a picture for the boys. I bet they would love it.”

“No need,” she laughed. “They get to see this all the time. Tired me, looking like a mess.”

“I doubt they have gotten tired of it or something,” San assured her. “One sec, I’ll be right back.” San got up and made his way back to his room, getting his phone before coming back out. He wanted to get pictures and he wanted to share this Christmas experience with his friends and her lovers. He took a couple of photos of the breakfast buns that were left in the pan in case anyone wanted another before he headed into the living room again. Before she noticed, San snapped a couple of pictures of her on the floor near the tree as she ate and sipped her coffee. She looked cute and small, sitting cross legged on the floor near the tree not far from her parents. Her brother was stretched out on the couch behind their parents.

“Okay everyone,” Her mom sat forward, setting aside her cup of coffee. “Let’s open presents.” She reached under the tree and started sifting through the packages there and pulling something out for everyone, San included, much to his surprise.

“You didn’t think we’d forget about you, did you?” She said, elbowing him playfully as he drew up beside her.

“You didn’t have to, you know,” He said softly, bumping his head into hers gently.

“Merry Christmas, bub,” she told him, pulling him into a real hug. “Just remember, you’re the oldest kid here now.”

“Of course,” San gave a sudden and heartfelt laugh. “I hope you’re ready to have an overprotective brother.”

“Uh-oh, I take it back,” she chuckled as she pulled back.

“Nope, too late,” San shook his head as mischief sparkled in his eyes, that’s what it was, definitely not tears, that was for sure.

“Okay Jacob, you can open first,” her mother said, starting the process that allowed everyone to take turns as they opened presents and thanked the giver for what they had received. The turns went for as many rounds as there were presents left for people to open. The numbers of presents were pretty even all around, with her and Jacob being the last two who had a couple of extra things they went through quickly.

San looked at the little pile of presents in front of him and felt a rush of gratitude and a poignant spike of admiration for the people who had invited him into their closest moments. Nothing there was particularly expensive, except maybe the wallet, but he really couldn’t tell, however, it was the sort of basic necessities or fun things family got for each other to make sure you had what you needed and could have fun now and again too. He hadn’t really had time to get them anything before he came over and it also hadn’t crossed his mind. It probably should have, he told himself with an internal sigh. If he comes again another year, he promised himself, he will definitely get some next time.

With presents opened, it was time for everyone to throw themselves into the project of Christmas dinner. There was a lot to be done, but between mom and dad’s co-delegation of the work to everyone, all the jobs were started that would get dinner on the table by around three in the afternoon. Everyone had a job or two they needed to do and had a place to start. Not everything needed to be done at the same time, but most things could be done ahead, even if they couldn’t be cooked until later.

With everyone working and cheery holiday instrumentals playing on speakers through the house, it was actually fun to take part in and San felt like he could at least be useful. He stood with her at the counter, peeling potatoes then chopping them up to be boiled in a couple of hours.

“How did your mom know what size I wear,” San poked at her as they worked.

“I did your laundry, remember,” she teased. “I know all of your sizes now.”

“Sneaky,” he admitted. “I’ll remember this and treat any interest you have in me and my stuff with the deepest suspicion.” He gave her an over dramatic suspicious look that sent her into a fit of snickers that drew looks from everyone else in the kitchen.

“What’s so funny,” her father asked, coming up behind them and checking on their progress.

“He’s going to be suspicious of me and my detective skills from now on since I remembered his clothing sizes from doing his laundry,” she told him with a note of pride.

“That’s my girl,” he said kissing the top of his daughter’s head. “Too smart of all of our good.”

“I’m guessing she got that from somewhere,” San gave him a suspicious look as her father took the large pot of potatoes.

“Don’t look at me for that,” her father advised. “Her mother is terrifying in how she remembers the strangest things.”

“Only because no one else in this house remembers where they leave anything,” her mother joined the conversation and gave all the other members of her family an expressive glare.

“Hey, I’ve gotten way better at all of that stuff,” she protested her mother’s characterization.

“I’m sure looking after those two boys has contributed to that,” her mother put a hand on her hip.

“I...say nothing,” she settled on as an answer, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of admitting she might be right. San bit his lip at the scene and wondered if Yunho and Mingi might have objected to the characterization.

“Can I come over tomorrow?” Mingi asked Yunho when he called him late on Christmas night, after everyone in his house had gone to bed.

“I...I think so,” Yunho sat up a little straighter in bed at Mingi’s tight voice. “Is everything okay?”

“I just hate everything here,” he stood near the window in his room wishing that he was back at their home, even if he had to be there alone. “My dad can’t not pick at things and he keeps asking me why I only got B’s in two classes on my midterms. Never mind the three A’s I got.”

“Don’t let it get to you,” Yunho told him, knowing that it was easier said than done. “I’m proud of you, love. You’re so smart and you work hard. It’s one of the many things I love about you.”

“I love you, too,” Mingi said in a small voice. “I miss you. And I miss her. I miss home.”

“I wish you could just have spent Christmas here with me,” Yunho sighed. “Mom asked about you. She was wondering how both of you are doing. I told her you did so well and that you studied so hard. She was proud of you.”

“I’ll remember to thank her when I see her,” Mingi gave a half laugh. “You’re so lucky to have your mom.”

“I know,” Yunho admitted, casting a glance in the direction of her room where he knew she was sleeping. “My mom has always been good at making sure I knew she loved me even if she isn’t always good at loving herself enough.”

“What did you get for Christmas, anyway?” Mingi asked him, thinking of a happier direction for their conversation.

“Mostly clothes,” Yunho shrugged. “But I also got a new laptop for classes. She was worried that the old one wasn’t working so well and had gotten too slow.”

“Oh I got a new laptop, too,” Mingi responded. “But they also got me a new console, a new phone, and some gift cards for games as well as all the clothes and stuff.”

“Wow, you made bank,” Yunho gave a low whistle.

“Yeah,” Mingi admitted. “I usually get a lot of stuff, but I don’t know… it’s never anything that I really ask for.”

“I wanted to thank you again for the suit,” Yunho told him warmly. “Mom really loves it. I wore it for Christmas dinner even though it was just me and Mom. You would have loved to see her face. I can’t wait to give you what I got you for Christmas.”

“I wish we had had more time with just us,” Mingi admitted. “I wish we had gotten to do our own Christmas before we headed home.”

“Yeah, but it was also really nice having our friends around, even if the reason they ended up over was kind of weird,” Yunho pointed out.

“Yeah,” Ming agreed with a smile. “It was really fun to have all of them over. Did San send you all the pictures he took of their Christmas, too?”

“He did and it looks like he had so much fun,” Yunho giggled. “I’m honestly a little jealous. He got to have so much fun with our girl. I wish it could have been us. At least San shared it with us.”

“Yeah and I am glad he isn’t alone,” Mingi shrugged, having felt closer to being alone than he really wanted to admit.

“I’ll tell mom you are coming over in the morning when I get up,” Yunho told him. “Come by in the afternoon when you can.”

“Okay,” Mingi sighed. “Just call me if she isn’t okay with me coming over or something.”

“She’ll be so glad to see you,” Yunho assured him. “I can’t wait to see you.”

“I...I love you,” Mingi cast an eye to his bedroom door, suddenly self conscious. “See you tomorrow.”

“Love you and sleep well,” Yunho told him gently.

“Night.”

The day after Christmas Mingi found himself on Yunho’s doorstep, standing nervously holding the little gift he had gotten for Yunho’s mom. He had actually gotten it when he bought Yunho’s gift himself, running across a holiday kiosk shop with all sorts of little things. He had spotted the small snow globe with the polar bear chorus inside and somehow he had thought of her. Inside was a trio of them, holding sheet music in books, with little red and white scarves wrapped around their necks. It had made him smile and seemed sweet like the little woman who had somehow given birth to the giant that Yunho had grown into.

She answered the door, pulling Mingi inside with a warm hug and happy greetings. Her home was small and a little worn but always warm. She helped him hang up his coat and stow his boots on the mat near the door.

“Oh you look so handsome,” she cooed, keeping him slightly hunched from his hug so she could get a good look at his face.

“Thank you, Ms. Jeong,” Mingi beamed at her.

“Oh honey, you can just call me mom,” she corrected. “I’m so happy to see you. Come and tell me about how you have been doing. How was school? Are you seeing anyone?”

“Mom, I already told you all of that,” Yunho sighed and shook his head at his mother.

“Well maybe you don’t know everything,” she waved her finger at her son. “Maybe I also just want to hear it from him, too.” Mingi happily took a seat with her on the old, worn corduroy couch and answered her questions about how he was and what it was that he had been doing since she had seen him last. She was happy to see him looking healthy, though she wasn’t sure he was eating enough.

“I’m sure that both of you have gotten at least an inch taller and two inches skinner since Thanksgiving,” she shook her head as she looked Mingi up and down.

“I actually think I’m gaining weight,” Mingi said, his hands going to his stomach he was sure was getting a little pooch to it.

“No,” she dismissed. “You are still such an adorable skinny boy like my Yunho.”

“Mom, we are fine and we are eating plenty,” Yunho hugged her from behind. “In fact, you can see us eat plenty now if we pull out some leftovers.”

“Oh yes,” she nodded, getting up and heading to the kitchen. Christmas in the Jeong household was less extravagant than at the Song household, but the heart and soul that went into her food always was apparent. She took the time to score and baste the ham and always made a gravy with the drippings that came off. Her yams were always sweet and the marshmallows on top were always perfectly toasted. Mingi was pretty sure that her stuffing was his favorite dish. It was always perfectly spiced and fluffy with just the right amount of walnut crunch mixed in.

They piled leftovers on their plates and stuck them in the microwave to reheat everything before they sat around the small round table in the dining room. She kept the warm conversation going as they ate, listening to the boys talk about school, their interests, the food, and anything else. She loved the smile that her son always got when he joked with Mingi. It was when he seemed happiest. Well with him or her or, better yet, the both of them. Her son had always been a little quiet, a little shy and that had made it a little hard for him to make friends over the years. He had found some and lost some and had never been alone, but the way she had seen him flourish with their friendship had made her so happy and proud. He had gotten so confident and so comfortable in his own skin in a way she had only hoped he would be someday. She hoped that it would just last, even if they all went different ways. After all, it was so easy to think that life as it was now, at their age, would always stay the same.

When they were done, the boys volunteered to wash the dishes and let her relax a little, but she took the chance to pull out the little present she had been saving for Mingi. He usually came by over the breaks and, even if he hadn’t, she could have always sent Yunho back with the little thing. That was probably what she would have to do with her gift for her. She didn’t take it personally that their girl didn’t make it every holiday. Her family was much more serious about spending the time together and her family was also much more...pleasant (she said diplomatically even in her head) to be around. She knew what the two boys meant to her and she was always lovely when she did find the time to come by.

When she came back out, the boys were just finishing with the dishes, drying the last two plates before putting them back in the cabinets. She waited for them to be done before she beckoned them both back into the living room. Sitting down in the seat nearest the glow of the lights on the tree, she patted the seat next to her, inviting the boy to sit beside her.

“Oh, one second,” he said when he saw the little gift in her lap. He took big loping steps back to where his coat hung and fished into one of the pockets to pull out his small gift for her. The proud and happy smile on his face as he came back carrying that little package meant more than anything that could be inside it. She loved to see Mingi when he was filled with joy and confidence, especially when she thought of the awkward anxious boy she had first met. He thought he had hid it so well with the way he squared his shoulders, jutted out his chin, and would make boasts. But the boy here, on her couch was brimming with confidence by comparison and she couldn’t have been more proud.

“Here, I got this for you, too,” he handed her the box before accepting her gift.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” she scolded, patting his knee with affection.

“I know, but I thought of you when I saw it,” he shrugged, giving her a shy look as his eyes traveled down to the gift from her in his lap.

“Open it,” she encouraged. Mingi nodded and ripped into the paper eagerly. Inside was a little graphic novel he recognised as the latest volume of one of his favorite series. He hadn’t been keeping up with it since he had gone off to school with as much as he had been focusing on classes.

“I thought you might have gotten it for yourself so there is a gift receipt inside and you can get something else if you have it or if you are tired of this series,” she explained anxiously. “I just remember you used to read these and this one only came out a couple of months ago.”

“I don’t have it yet, and thank you,” he leaned over and pulled her into a hug. “I love it but I hadn’t even realized this was out yet.”

“I’m so glad you like it,” she glowed at him, patting the arms that embraced her. “Merry Christmas, my dear.”

“You should open yours,” Mingi said excitedly, pulling back again.

“Oh, of course,” she looked at the box in her lap. It was heavier than she would have guessed for the size and was actually curious what he had gotten her. She opened the paper carefully, picking at the tape so that she could save the pretty paper that he had put on her gift. Under the paper she found a plain cardboard box which she turned over until she found a side that looked like the top, thanks to the little divot on one side where the top tucked in. Finally she peered inside to find a fist sized glass globe. She slid it out of the box and smiled as she finally got a good look at it.

“Oh Mingi, I love it,” she said softly.

“Look, it also plays music,” Mingi took it from her hands and turned the little key set in the base. He wound it until it couldn’t any more and then turned it right before letting it go. Faint strains of I’ll Be Home for Christmas as little flecks of glitter swirled in the liquid around the little polar bears inside.

“A perfect song,” She grinned up at him. “And you thought of me when you saw it. I am so touched, sweetie.”

“You like it?” He asked, his whole face lighting up with his smile.

“It’s wonderful,” she assured him, giving the globe another swish to stir up the glitter again. “Thank you so much. I’ll treasure it.”

“I’m...I’m so happy you like it,” Mingi said as he watched her wind it one more time, before putting it in a safe place on the entertainment center.

“I’ll see it there,” she decided. “I’ll keep it safe with the other Christmas decorations when I put them away. But I already can’t wait to get it out again next year.”

Be in bed by 11, we have a surprise for you 💞

The message came through to her phone not long before dinner. A little piece of her hated them for sending the message then. Now she had to wait for hours to find out what they had planned for her. Curiosity niggled at her the whole evening, leaving her distracted over dinner and not following the conversation unless someone said her name.

“Everything okay?” San asked quietly, after having to nudge her to bring her attention back to the conversation happening around her.

“Yeah, just distracted,” she gave him an apologetic smile, making him laugh and shake his head. San could guess, especially by the way she kept checking her phone, just who was on her mind. He had sympathy for her but he still couldn’t help finding it funny. He honestly couldn’t help but wonder what her parents would think if they knew the arrangement. They’d probably get over eventually but it would be a battle. Their sense of how things ought to be would be a hurdle to their acceptance.

By 10:30 she was checking her watch and giving exaggerated yawns as she set the stage to go to bed more than an hour before she would have usually, given that it was very much still a holiday and she could still sleep late and while away the day doing whatever relaxing thing she wanted. So far she had read three books she had been meaning to read and watched half a drama with San, who was a master at snappy commentary about the story and characters. They would definitely be able to finish it before they went back and she was having lots of fun with it. San had actually made being at home without the boys way easier than it would have been otherwise.

“I’m gonna head to bed,” she stretched as she stood up and made her announcement to the room casually. “I’ll probably read a little before I actually sleep, but I’m going to go ahead and lie down.”

“Okay honey,” her mother said, looking up from her cross stitching she had in her hands. “See you in the morning.”

“Sleep well,” her father said lightly.

“I think I’ll head to bed, too,” San said, standing up from his seat near her.

“Have a good night,” her mother said to San. He nodded to both of them before following her back towards their rooms.

“Tell the boys I say hi,” San said playfully just before he ducked into the guest room. She flashed him a warning glare mixed with humor as she watched him before she slipped into her own room. Locking her door, just to be safe, she changed into her pajamas and got into bed with her phone and headphones.

I’m in bed, she messaged, biting her lip in anticipation as she sent it. Expecting to wait for a little while, she closed the app and turned on some music to listen to while she tried to stay busy. The video call that interrupted her after only about thirty seconds surprised her, though perhaps it shouldn’t have, after all, she wasn’t the only one who had been looking forward to this for hours.

“Hi babe,” Mingi said, his face taking up half the screen next to Yunho’s, both peering at her from a dark space she couldn’t place.

“Hey loves,” she said quietly, making sure her voice wouldn’t carry outside of her room. “What are you two doing together?”

“I visited Yunho today,” Mingi confessed, casting a grateful look to the other boy. “He invited me over so that I could get out of the house.”

“That was sweet,” She gave them both warm smiles. “But you aren’t still there. Where are you two?”

“In the car,” Yunho chuckled, turning the camera around so she could see they were parked somewhere secluded, surrounded mostly by snow.

“What are you doing out there?” She questioned with a giggle. “Why are you out there in the cold?”

“We wanted to do something...give you a little show,” Mingi replied mischievously, coming close to the camera as he spoke.

“A show?” She repeated, feeling a blush rising on her cheeks at the thought.

“Have you been missing us?” Yunho looked into the camera flirtatiously.

“Of course,” she sighed, feeling a little tingle rising in her stomach.

“We’ve missed you,” Yunho continued, slipping an arm around Mingi’s shoulders. “Should we give her a little taste of the love we want to show her?”

“Yeah,” Mingi agreed, melting a little into Yunho’s embrace. “I want her to watch.”

“You want her to see me take you?” Yunho asked, changing position to move Mingi to sit between his legs, coaxing him to lean against his chest. Mingi nodded in response, making himself a little smaller as he leaned back.

“Give our lovely Mingi a kiss,” she prompted, her heart speeding up as she did.

Mingi turned his head and looked up to Yunho behind him. The two shared a look for a second before they came together, lips meeting in a soft brush of skin on skin. Yunho reached up a hand to caress Mingi’s cheek, helping him angle his face. Yunho controlled the speed of their kiss, keeping it agonizingly slow and light as their lips moved. His thumb brushed over the corner of Mingi’s mouth, coaxing him to open his mouth slightly. Mingi huffed slightly and opened to allow the kiss to deepen.

As she watched the two of them she could feel a thrill of excitement move through her, tensing her stomach muscles and moisture starting to build between her legs. They looked so beautiful together. The sharp lines of their jaws and the way their fine features seemed to match and compliment each other. Her eyes focused on the perfect shape of Yunho’s Cupid’s bow lips as they moved in profile. They looked too perfect, too ideally shaped as they touched Mingi’s.

Mingi’s lips were largely hidden between Yunho’s lips and hand but her eyes moved along the line of his jaw and down the line of his long throat. His Adam’s apple bobbed with his nervous swallows as he kissed the boy behind him. There was a sort of softness that came over his angular features as they touched.

“Did you like that, too?” Yunho asked after he pulled back from the kiss, still continuing to hold Mingi against him.

“Yes,” she said softly, sinking further into the bed, eyes locked on the screen.

“What do you want to see?” Mingi asked, looking up at the camera through his lashes.

“Can you undress each other?” She decided after a brief pause. “I want to see you both.”

“Should I start with unwrapping our beautiful boy, here?” Yunho teased, running his fingers over Mingi’s still clothed chest.

“Yes please,” she agreed eagerly. “He’s so beautiful.”

“He is, isn’t he?” Yunho looked at the other boy, admiring the blush that spread over his cheeks and the tips of his ears at the compliments. Yunho’s hands reached around to the front of Mingi’s body. They found the fastenings on the front of his hoodie, working them open, making sure she could see his fingers as they did.

They watched her eyes glued to the screen of her phone. She was rapt in her attention. Yunho could feel the heat in her eyes as she watched them and he loved that feeling. He liked the control of focusing her attention with his movements. The expressions that flowed across her face as she followed his gestures gave him a burst of confidence.

Mingi could feel the touch of her gaze through the screen of the phone they had attached to the back of the front seat. When they had come up with the idea while they had a moment alone at Yunho’s place, Mingi had liked the idea of letting her see them, teasing her, while they did something since they hadn’t been able to invite her. Often he was on the other side. He so often got too impatient to tease either of them. It wasn’t really his fault, by the time he got them alone, he often felt like he had been waiting for them all day. By that point he just wanted them. He wanted to touch them, he wanted to taste them, to have them in his arms.

Yunho slipped the hoodie off Mingi’s shoulders taking his time and making a show of it. Underneath Mingi wore a black shirt with a wide neckline that showed off his collarbones and upper chest. After he threw the hoodie to the side, Yunho’s fingers went to the skin exposed there. His fingertips danced over the line of his collarbone and slid his shirt down off one shoulder. It was an irresistibly beautiful stretch of skin to them both. Yunho leaned forward and pressed a kiss there. He licked, kissed and nibbled a line from the tip of his shoulder and up his neck.

“Our Mingi is so handsome,” she sighed, looking at them through the screen as she turned onto her side.

“He’s beautiful,” Yunho observed. He nuzzled the skin below Mingi’s ear and left the ghost of a kiss.

“I want to see more of him,” she whispered to them. “Please.”

“Should I help him take off his shirt?” Yunho offered, his hands traveling down the front of Mingi’s chest and stomach.

“If it's not too cold,” she said after a moment’s thought.

“The car is nice and warm,” Yunho smiled. Of course she thought of that, of course that would cross her mind. His hands went to the hem of Mingi’s shirt and lifted it off over his head, baring the expanse of his white chest. Mingi shivered at the warmth in her gaze as her eyes took in the sight.

“You look so pretty, baby,” she cooed to him on the other side of the screen. “I wish I could show you how pretty you are to me.”

“Isn’t he so pretty to look at?” Yunho put his hands on Mingi’s ribs and let them trail down to his waist.

“What about you?” she pushed playfully, letting out a suppressed chuckle. “I want to see you, too.”

“You want to see me?” Yunho teased, ducking slightly further behind Mingi’s body. “Even when you have this to look at?” Yunho ran his hands down Mingi’s arms, making him shiver at the sensation.

“He’ll look even better in your arms,” she pointed out with a grin.

“Ahhh, I see,” Yunho nodded and pressed his lips together to try and stop the grin from spreading across his face. Mingi half turned in his seat to look back at the other boy. His eyes were bright and playful chocolate pools set in his glowing face. His blond hair had grown so that the fringe reached past his eyebrows now, allowing him to give them flirtatious glances through the curtain of his hair. Mingi brushed the hair out of his eyes and leaned over to kiss his temple on one side. He put one hand on Yunho’s shoulder, covered by the white knit cardigan he was wearing. His hand caressed down his arm as he moved his kisses down along his cheek until he was kissing the dip of the corner of his lips.

“Can I help you take it off?” Mingi offered, pressing his forehead against the side of his face. Yunho nodded. Mingi’s fingers went to the large wooden buttons and started to undo them. Yunho lifted his hands to hold Mingi’s as they slipped the buttons through the buttonholes. With all the buttons undone, Mingi parted the sides like he was drawing back curtains. Yunho shrugged off the cardigan and tossed it into the seat beside them. Mingi leaned down and licked one of Yunho’s exposed nipples, tasting it like it was a dollop of fallen dessert. Yunho sucked in a breath at the sensation.

“How does he taste, Mingi, my love?” She asked in a harsh whisper.

“As delicious as always,” Mingi gave her a wide grin. “Should...should I mark him so he remembers this?”

“Yes, over his heart,” she agreed, enjoying the idea. Mingi sunk down, finding a somewhat awkward position that brought his mouth more comfortably down to Yunho’s nipple level. He brushed his pillowy lips over the one nearest to him, giving it a soft suck and lick as it hardened under his touch. Moving closer to the center of his chest, just to the left, he pressed his lips against him, feeling the beat of his heart under them. Yunho brought his hand up to run his fingers through Mingi’s hair, caressing his scalp as he looked down at him.

Mingi closed his eyes and let his lips part, latching onto the skin under them. He breathed in the smell of Yunho’s skin, salty and musky. He sucked it enough to draw it into his mouth, allowing him nip lightly with his teeth. Yunho let out a light moan and his fingers tightened in Mingi’s hair, pulling it lightly.

She saw the look of pleasure bubble up on Yunho’s face, like a spring escaping through the fissure in a rock. It slipped out and spread across his body like a trickle. Mingi’s head moved as he sucked and worried Yunho’s skin until he was satisfied, letting it go with a pop and giving it a parting kiss.

“Let me see,” she asked, hiding the lower half of her face behind her hand. She could feel that a hot flush had developed on her face as she had watched them. Mingi sat up and leaned out of the way to let her see what he had done. He ran his fingers over it lightly, admiring the reddish mark he knew would mellow into purple soon enough.

“Now you’ll remember this,” Mingi said with satisfaction.

“As if I would forget any moment I have with you, with both of you,” Yunho scolded before he pulled Mingi into a hungry kiss. He let himself dive into the sensation and the taste of him, let the intoxication of passion fill him. She watched them silently, not wanting to break the haze of desire that was surrounding them. She loved seeing when they let go, when they lost the rest of the world in their love. She held her breath and watched as their mouths played and clashed. They were beautiful when they were with each other.

“Can I?” Yunho broke the kiss and brought his hands down to the waistband of Mingi’s jeans. Mingi nodded and leaned back a little to allow him to fumble at the button and zipper on his pants. Yunho unfastened them and slipped his fingers inside the waistband on his hips. He touched his skin there, enjoying the simple intrusion of touching the skin beneath. Mingi rocked forward, silently asking him to pull them down further, to take the next step.

“Impatient,” Yunho teased, unable to hide his smile as he spoke to Mingi.

“I’ve missed you,” Mingi whined. “When I...just by myself, it isn’t the same.”

“I know,” Yunho was sympathetic and couldn’t have agreed more. Taking pity on him, Yunho helped him to pull off his pants and underwear after they both cast a quick look around to make sure their spot had not been intruded upon by anyone. The snow cover of the city made it easier to spot anyone that might have made their way there against the bright backdrop of the snow. Assured they were still alone, they both stripped the last of their clothes off.

“Love, I know you can’t be here, can’t be with us but,” Yunho leaned close to the phone that connected them with her. “Will you touch yourself for us?” She nodded and set the phone down to strip herself naked as well. When she was finished she lay down on top of the covers and let the camera pan down her naked body.

“You look pretty,” Mingi complemented, looking intently at the screen. “Are you wet already?” She nodded, switching the phone to one hand and letting the other slip between her legs and gather a little on her fingertips. She brought them back up, letting them see the evidence of her wetness before she brought them to her lips and sucked them clean.

“Good,” Yunho palmed himself, slightly below the view of the camera, but the movement was clear. Mingi let his hand tease along the inside of his own leg, working closer to his erection but not yet touching it. Yunho dug into the little bag he had brought with him from home and pulled out the little tube of lube he had snuck out with him. He turned in his seat to lean against the car door and stretched his legs out over the back seat. Mingi straddled his thighs and looked down at Yunho’s deep brown eyes which looked up at him with such love.

Mingi leaned over putting his hands on the door beside Yunho’s shoulders, bringing his lips to the other boys. Their erections pressed together and Yunho wrapped them both with one of his large hands. He played with them both as they fell into a deep kiss. Mingi rutted into his hand as he used his own to hold Yunho’s face, angling it just right to fit with his.

“Here, come a little forward,” Yunho coaxed Mingi’s hips until he was straddling higher, near his waist. His hands caressed along his lower back and the curve of his butt. “Is it okay if I start getting you ready for me?”

“Please,” Mingi nodded, arching his back a little to make it easier for him to reach. Yunho put a little lube on his fingers. He slipped his fingers between his cheeks to the small, puckered hole and began making slow circles. Mingi slowly relaxed under his touch, letting out a breathy sigh at the feel of his fingers.

“Does it feel good?” Yunho asked in the quiet of the car.

“Yeah,” Mingi let out a huffing whine. “Faster, I want you in me.”

“Patience, love,” Yunho soothed. “I want it to feel good.”

“It does, it always does,” Mingi insisted.

“Kiss me,” Yunho suggested. “Show our girl how much you want it.” Mingi leaned forward and brought his lips to Yunho’s, licking and nibbling at them eagerly. He moved in time with the sweep of Yunho’s fingers, mirroring them in his eagerness. Yunho slowly worked in one finger and then two, slowly opening him. Mingi protested against his lips when he removed his fingers.

“Shhhh, you’re finally getting your wish,” Yunho chuckled at his pout. He reached for the lube again and spread it on himself, wiping a little of the excess on Mingi before cleaning his hands on the little towel he had thought ahead to bring as well. He positioned himself at Mingi’s entrance and let the other boy sink down his length as fast as he felt comfortable.

When Mingi had taken him completely, they both turned their attention to the screen to look at their girl. Her room was dim but they could still see her face looking at them in the dim light. She noticed their eyes on her and she flashed them a smile and blew them a kiss.

“You’ve been quiet, love, are you okay?” Yunho asked.

“I just heard someone in the hall so I have to be careful,” she whispered. “I think everyone is finally going to bed.”

Mingi let out a moan and felt himself flutter around Yunho inside him. He wanted to move but he wanted to be sure she was with them, that she was there and enjoying this as much they were. He rocked slightly and managed to ask. “Are you still with us?”

“I’m here,” she assured him. “I want to see you. Please.”

“Can you ride me?” Yunho asked, running his palms up Mingi’s strong thighs. Mingi nodded, moving slowly at first, the friction giving him slow waves of pleasure as he did. Yunho let him set a steady pace before bringing one of his hands to Mingi’s hard length where it jutted between them. He matched the movements of his hand to Mingi’s rhythm. Mingi let himself go and started moving faster, hunching forward to avoid hitting his head as he moved.

“So good,” Yunho praised, caressing Mingi’s waist as he stroked him. “You feel so good around me.”

“Fuck,” Mingi panted as he looked down at the other boy. “I’m not gonna last like this.”

“I want you to come on me,” Yunho encouraged, his breathing tense. “Make a mess for me.”

“Keep going,” Mingi entreated, closing his eyes and letting himself focus on the pleasure Yunho’s body was giving him. He let all of the stress of being home, the stress of missing them, the stress of having to stand alone against a relentless barrage of criticism and dismissal melt away. He let the love Yunho gave with his body fill him. He heard Yunho’s breaths growing harsher and more ragged as her faint, suppressed moans traveled through the phone to him. He opened his eyes to see the face that matched those sounds, his eyes going to the small screen hanging off the back of the front seat. Her face was soft and pink as she watched, her lips parted as she panted quietly.

“Are you close, too?” He asked her.

“Yeah,” She whispered back. “But I want to see you cum...and I want to see Yunho fill you. I want to hear you both.”

“Come for her, love,” Yunho urged, his fingers digging into Mingi’s hips as he felt his own pleasure building. “Just let go.” He sped up the movement of his hand and watched Mingi’s face take on a slack look he so often slipped into just before he reached his orgasm. Mingi’s rhythm faltered slightly as sensations bubbled up inside him. Everything felt good. His skin tingled and he could feel the coolness of the air clinging to him as a fine sheen of sweat started to to cover him.

“I’m gonna cum,” he panted, grounding himself down on Yunho and let him continue to work his hand on him in the last few seconds before his orgasm washed over him. Yunho’s hand continued to stroke him as thick ropes of cum spurted out across Yunho’s chest. Mingi panted and his cock twitched, letting the pleasure subsume him like a wave.

“You look so pretty like that,” Yunho praised him as he finally let go of his spent length, his hands moving to hold his hips now. “Lean forward just a little, love.” Mingi nodded, leaning on his hands where he rested them on either side of Yunho’s head. A weakness suffused his limbs, but he held himself as Yunho thrust up into him, chasing his own pleasure now. Mingi’s eyes returned to the screen at the sound of her panting as it joined Yunho’s in the quiet of the car. Her gaze was hooded and her eyes hazy as she watched them.

“Is our girl close, too?” Yunho asked, not taking his eyes from where his body moved in and out of Mingi.

“Yes,” Mingi replied breathlessly. “She’s so pretty like that.”

“Our girl is beautiful when she cums,” Yunho panted. “And it’s for us; only for us.” He heard as she gave a faint strangled noise then lapsed into just heavy breathing. Yunho tore his gaze away from Mingi and looked at her. Only her face was on the screen, focusing on the blissful expression she wore, eyes closed and her jaw clenched.

Yunho pulled Mingi down on him harshly as his own orgasm hit him suddenly. He had been so focused on them, on making sure this lasted enough to be good for both of them, that he had pushed his pleasure to the side. When it finally burst over it, it was like the breaking of a dam as a single crack finally caused it to fail. Blinding white filled his vision and a tingling rippled out over his skin with an almost painful intensity.

Mingi watched as Yunho came beneath him. He looked almost surprised as it overtook him and he squeezed his eyes shut. If he hadn’t known any better, Mingi might have thought he was in pain as the other boy released himself in his body. Yunho’s hands gripped his hips almost painfully and Mingi was sure he would have bruises from it. He didn’t mind, in fact he would be glad to see them over the coming days when he had no choice but to be alone with his parents. When he saw them or felt them, they would remind him of this, of the people who loved him for himself; of their shared generosity of everything that made them who they were.

When they had all taken a moment to recover, they said their good nights and hung up, leaving Mingi and Yunho in the car to clean up. They were careful to leave no traces on the car or themselves and Yunho hid the tube and towel under the seat before redressing. Mingi pulled his own clothes on, focusing on that to avoid thinking about how soon he would be alone again.

“We’ll hang out again before the holiday is over,” Yunho promised, caressing Mingi’s cheek when he saw the sad look he couldn’t keep from his face.

“Of course,” Mingi looked at him and forced himself to smile.

“No, I mean it,” Yunho took Mingi by the chin and made him look him in the eyes. “I won’t leave you alone there very long. And even when I’m not there, when we aren’t there, we’re here,” he put his other hand over Mingi’s heart. “And we aren’t that far. If you need me, just call. I’ll always pick up and if I need to come get you, I will always come.”

“I love you,” Mingi held the wrist of the hand on his chest. “Knowing that you love me too, makes it survivable.”

“New Year’s isn’t really important to my mom, not like Christmas is anyways,” Yunho began. “Maybe we can spend it with San and our girl at her parents.”

“Lucky San getting to spend the whole holiday there,” Mingi sighed.

“Yeah,” Yunho gave him a laugh and a smile. “I can’t really envy him too much, but then again, I still have my mom at least and I am sure he would happily trade being there for having his family again.”

“Yeah,” Mingi agreed, San might be lucky to have been accepted into the arms of her loving family, but no generosity of spirit on the part of her family could erase the sadness of the rejection of his father after the loss of his mother. Yunho pulled Mingi into a hug, warm and reassuring, just holding him.

“Ready to go home?” Yunho asked him after a moment.

“I’m ready,” Mingi nodded and pulled back. They both got out and moved to the front seat, letting silence settle on them as they pulled out of their secluded refuge to return to the real world. It won’t have to be for very long, Yunho promised himself, hoping that Mingi could feel the promise he couldn’t bring himself to voice.

Masterlist

#ateez #ateez smut #jeong yunho #song mingi #kpop smut #mingi smut #mingi #yunho smut #yunho #choi san #ateez imagines #ateez hard hours #kpop imagines #kpop hard hours #yunho x reader #mingi x reader #ateez fluff #kpop fluff

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iamdunn · 3 years

Text

FoxFire Re-ignited Day 1 Fushimi Inari Shrine

Tomoe Meets Nekotsune

A Kamisama Kiss Fan-Fic

Written by

AJ Dunn

Tomoe mused himself as he relaxed in the palanquin Onikiri & Kotetsu prepared specially for this human convention. One of the few times he could present himself in his fox demon form without scaring the sensitive humans. He smirked as he sipped sake from his eternal cup. He never would have considered such festivals had that wretched human girl not tamed the fire within him dragging him to such horrendous things. Nanami was gone now and Tomoe was free to be feral once again.

Humans scampering about in costumes depicting the ancient demons and spirits now thought to be a mere myth if only they knew that many among them were in fact real demons, oh how they would scream. The thought boiled in his veins. Many came by his palanquin for photo ops and he managed to ruin every picture with a ball of foxfire, unbeknownst to them of course.

“Master Tomoe, you should walk around.” Onikiri prodded him. He waved an annoyed at her as if to swat the will of the wisp away from him.

“Master you are missing all of the fun.” Kotetsu chirped.

“It hasn’t been fun since she was robbed from me.” Tomoe snapped. “Nanami would have enjoyed this, but I will spend the rest of eternity alone now.” He sipped his sake feeling less satiated by it as time drew on. He stood up as another group of fans came to get selfies with the less than obliged fox demon. He leaped with grace from the palanquin over the heads of the group forming in front of him.

“I suppose I shall amuse myself with their feeble attempts to copy my likeness,” Tomoe said as he strode into the thicket of humans in yokai costumes. This cosplay convention had begun as a feeble attempt to draw American tourists to Japan. Kyoto was the perfect setting for this as the Sojobo on Mount Kurama would have approved. Kurama himself dawned his “Fallen Angel” ensemble to perform for the masses, while he loved all of the attention he got from the girls, he never forgave Tomoe for failing to protect Nanami. The stupid mortal girl was a danger to herself from the beginning he wouldn’t have to be held responsible for her weakness. The crowd was thick with variations of the demon costumes from Tengu, to Inugami, but what haunted Tomoe most was the many interpretations of Kitsune, the fox demon. The nine-tailed fox spirit had been popular for many years but has constantly changed into this meek cowardly loyal dog. He scoffed. If they want a mutt then they should dress as the inugami instead. Sea Dragons, are they serious. The thought.

“What a purrfect foxfire kimono you have on.” Tomoe heard the voice swirl behind him as he spun to see dared speak to him let alone touch his garment. “Mmmm It looks paw sitively amazing on you… it’s a shame.” Tomoe drew back unable to speak. The audacity of this wannabe prancing about with nine fake white tails adored to her back, her red and orange flamed kimono, and metallic claws. However, what irked him more was the feline ears adorning the short spiky white hair and the feline half mask covering her mouth. Though the craftsmanship and the realistic fangs impressed him, what sort of demon costume was this?”

“How dare you address me.” Tomeo lept back as the girl reached a clawed hand toward his face.

“It is such a shame. That kimono would look so much better on my bedroom floor.” She spun away from him and slipped through the crowd before he could respond. Heat welled up in him as her words fell upon him weighted with such inclination. Had her words invoked such a temper in his skin, having not felt the embrace of a woman since dear Nanami fell victim to that hateful creature.

His feet moved forward propelled by some unknown force to follow this creature who had enticed him so. Finding her wasn’t hard as the flaming Kimono was the most unique garment in the entire hall. Her feline presence drove his sensibilities into flames he had to know more. He reached a hand out laying it on her shoulder. Her head turned ever so slight gazing upon the clawed hand. Her eyes shifted up to meet his without fully turning to face him.

“Yours is the most inaccurate of all the costumes here.” He said harshly. “You look more like a feline than a fox demon.”

“But of course I do,” She smirked at him. “I didn’t come here to be a copy CAT,” her smirked became a grin as she turned to face him. She threw her right arm into the air before offering a bow before him. “I am Nekotsune. The Flaming Feline Cat Spirit, at your service.” Her gleeful tone threw him back again as he watched her elaborate introduction. He smirked at her as her eyes met his again. Suddenly, as if looking into a mirror he saw it. There was something behind her mask, something her eyes spoke that belied the joy in her voice. His heart throttled in his chest as she gazed into her hazel green eyes. Despair that mimicked his own. How can she smile with her eyes while carrying a pain that made tears well up in his eyes?

Suddenly loud rock music began to play and Tomoe recognized the hateful voice as Kurama began to sing. The girl reached up to her ears in pain her head cowering below her shoulders as she turned and ran through the crowd. Tomoe tried to catch up to her, but she was gone. He felt an emptiness he hadn’t felt since the day Nanami had been murdered. Torn from her as if a piece of his own soul had been sheared from his very being. Tomoe forced his way through the crowd until he was left standing alone in the darkest parts of the hall. He looked back and forth unsure as to where she had gone. He heard the click of a door closing on its own. He turned to his right and followed the sound.

“Master Tomoe, Master Tomoe?” Onikiri and Kotetsu flew through the sky nearly crashing into him.

“Out of my way,” Tomoe yelled as he ran past them. He ran through the double doors into an empty hallway. There was no sign of her.

“Master Tomoe.” Kotetsu finally caught up with him again. He was carrying a piece of paper. “She dropped this.”

“Who did?” Tomoe collected himself and stole himself back to his palanquin as if nothing had happened. His heart fluttering as his mind washed over her face again in his mind.

“The woman you were talking to,” Onikiri said handing him the paper.

“YOU WERE SPYING ON ME?” Tomoe fumed as foxfire welled up around him as he sat in his palanquin. He was about to stand up before Onikiri dropped the paper. He starred at it as it lay on the floor of the palanquin. It appeared to be a map of Fushimi Inara Taisha, the Shinto Shrine. There was a handwritten note in the top right corner. DAY 1. It was dated for tomorrow. He snubbed his nose into the air then took another sip of his sake before tossing a ball of foxfire at the note. Onikiro snatched it before the fire caught it, stuffing it into her shirt so Tomoe wouldn’t know it had been rescued.

Despite the pain in her legs and feet, AJ rose from the bed and hobbled to the bathroom to wash up. She had only been in Japan for two nights now, the first day she pretty much slept off the fatigue that came with traveling from her home in Oregon to Tokyo Japan then taking the jet train to Kyoto. An itinerary that took her 7 years to instigate. Her condition worsened day by day and she knew that if she didn’t fulfill her own death wish, she’d never rest easy in the afterlife. Seeing the shrines of Kyoto had been her dream, her mount Everest of goals knowing that she had been losing her ability to walk since she was 9. Charcot Marie Tooth disease wasn’t a forgiving neuromuscular condition, and it wasn’t alone. Her body, 40 years old, is now plagued with numerous conditions that robbed her of her ability to even breathe without choking, walking without stumbling, even laughing. Her muscles weakened day by down, now the migraines were a plague she couldn’t shake even with prescriptions medications. Last night’s adventure to the cosplay convention was a tempting distraction from her itinerary. Being able to dress up in yokai cosplay was fascinating and she didn’t want to offend the people of Japan by misrepresenting their folklores, so she invented something entirely her own. She would be documenting her anonymously for her online support group. She hadn’t expected to meet such an attractive fox demon fan. Everything about him attracted her. His eyes, his blue foxfire kimono, even his voice. He was the most authentic-looking creature she had ever seen. He even haunted her dreams.

She slapped her face as her mind wandered again to the statement she had made about his kimono looking better on her bedroom floor. She wasn’t quite herself when she was behind the mask, or maybe that was more her than she had ever been. It was freeing to be able to talk so openly. She had never been able to talk to a stranger with such disregard for embarrassment or rejection. She finished bathing then pulled on her AFO’s. The hard plastic braces supported her feet and ankles but heated her calves. She had to wear knee-high socks underneath to prevent rashes and irritations. They were the most uncomfortable piece to her ensemble. She slipped on her kimono and tied the OBI, which wasn’t as easy anymore as it had been when she first made it. Then once her hair was spiked to perfection she clipped her feline ears into place then pulled the half-mask over her mouth. She inspected herself in the mirror. Luckily her Kimono was long enough to hide the braces on her legs, she didn’t want anyone to notice. Unsure of how she would be received. Since she was a teenager anyone who found out about her condition either treated her like a contagion to be avoided or as a liability to be denied participation.

She opened her notebook to the second page. DAY 2 was written in the upper corner. Shock fell on her as she realized her DAY 1 map was gone. She flipped to the first page, it had the full map of Kyoto shrines on it outlining the shrines in order from the Fushimi Shrine to the Kifune shrine. Each day she would visit and explore a new shrine, indulge in the cultural festivities, all the while video blogging it. Today she was meant to tour the Fushimi shrine but the map of it was gone. No matter, she would buy one at the visitor booth when she got there.

She had barely entered the shrine when she began to feel chills rising up in her spine. Chills like last night when he came up behind her. His scent was sweet and alluring like honey cakes & sake. She shuddered, forcing away the image of his eyes peering into her, the thoughts of him haunting and distracted her from her mission. She turned on her camera, a tiny thing mounted invisibly on the bell collar she wore around her neck.

The thousand Torii gates led up the mountain. This tour would take all day, for her. 2-3 hours just to hike up and back at a regular pace, for someone without restrictions, however, she planned to lunch at one of the many restaurants there. Kitsune Udon was her choice for lunch and maybe some tea.

The wind blew as she began the hike. She had been studying the map as she held it tight with both hands. This was never a good idea and she soon realized as the toe of her shoe caught something heaving her forward face first into… nothing. Did she stop falling buy why? It took her a minute to realize that there was an arm around her waist coming from someone standing directly behind her. She was pulled back so suddenly, her back landing firmly against a tall pillar, a person. Glancing over her shoulder she could see the man who held her. His short dark hair was tousled as if windblown. His face was stern with a bit of stubble. His eyes looked familiar to her, as did the smell of sake, but nothing else about him seemed familiar.

“Watch where you are going.” He said firmly before releasing her. She nearly stumbled forward at the sudden separation from him. She felt cold and distant in his departure as he walked past her entering the trail leading up the mountain. She stuffed the map into her notebook then tucked it into her belt and began walking up the trail. His pace was quite a bit faster than hers and she soon lost sight of him. It didn’t take her long before the fatigue in her legs began to burn through her whole body. She forced a few more steps before she simply couldn’t take another. She found a bench slightly off the trail and sat down. Looking out over the path she had just come. She lasted longer than she expected. The burning in her legs became a tingling sensation as if the burning was stripping the sensation from her legs leaving them numb from the hips down. She groaned as the feeling slowly began to return to her legs.

“You’re not even halfway there, are you giving up so soon?” a voice came gruffly from behind her. “How weak.” Anger fumed up in her as she could hear the unspoken words, the words her mother would have said if she were still alive. ‘You can’t do it so give up now.”

“MMM, rushing such an adventure would be Catastrophic.” She quipped, she loved her cat puns. She heard him scoff behind her but he didn’t leave.

“Why are you here?” He stepped closer to the bench staying behind her. “Dressed like that.”

“Do you find it offensive?” She asked smirking under her mask.

“What? NO.” He nearly shouted. “It’s just, unusual for someone especially a foreigner to be dressed like that.”

“How do you know I am a foreigner, is my Japanese not purrfect?” she stood up. She turned but he was gone. She made her way back to the path and continued the climb. It wasn’t long before the fatigue came back to her legs. She could smell the savory scents filling the air, she must be getting closer to the restaurants. She could almost taste the Udon. She found the line quite long and stood there. As desperate as her legs pleaded for her to sit she didn’t want to lose her place in line and willed herself to stand her ground. Her knees began to wobble and lip as she fought hard to remain standing. The burning was now giving way to the familiar sensation of tingles and soon numbness would take over. She sighed, she knew it was too late, she wouldn’t be able to move her legs to walk to a bench. Her knees were gone now as she felt her body slip to the ground. She threw her hands out in front of her trying to catch herself but she stopped. Once again, an arm and a familiar scent surrounded her.

“Pathetic.” the voice once again from behind her. This time as he pulled her against his body he held her firmly as the feeling began to return to her legs. It was only a few minutes, but it felt like a lifetime as her heart pounded heavily in her chest. ‘Had she forgotten to take her heart medication again?’ Soon she could feel her legs again and attempted to step forward letting him know she was okay.

“Thank you.” She whispered

“Shut up.” his voice was quiet with a feigned harshness. She glanced over her shoulder and saw him looking away. “Keep moving your holding up the line.” She giggled then stepped forward.

“Kitsune Udon and Oolong tea please.” She asked once she reached the head of the line. She lifted the side of her kimono slightly to reach the thigh pocket of her leggings. She thought it was the safest place to put her wallet.

“Make that two.” the voice from behind her came as a hand reached over her shoulder to offer the money to the cashier. They handed him a plastic paddle with a number on it. She looked up in surprise but before she could object, his arm was around her shoulders pulling her to the closest empty table. He sat in front of her but didn’t look at her.

“Why are you doing this?” He asked without looking at her.

“Doing what?”

“Stop.”

“Stop talking your voice is annoying.” he gruffed tossing a glance at her without turning his head towards her.

“If it’s so annoying, why do you keep asking me dumb questions?”

“They’re not dumb questions, your just dumb.” he shot her an angry look his hand flat on the table. “It’s clear you can barely stand let alone walk and here you are hiking a trail.” She laughed at him. His angry expression softened.

“I’m doing it for a fundraiser.” She smiled. The waiter brought out a tray with two large bowls, two teacups, and a kettle of tea, they set the bowls and cups down then poured tea into each cup. His face relaxed as he sat back. His face appeared disinterested but his eyes remained on her. He couldn’t stop looking at her, watching her, wondering what would possess a person to put their bodies through so much pain and agony.

“What fundraiser?” he folded his arms over his chest as she poured sugar into her teacup. “Aren’t you going to take off that ridiculous mask?” She reached up to her ears and released the mask lowering it to her lap then she began to sip the broth of her Udon. His heart thudded for a moment as he stared at her lips. Her face was unmasked by makeup. Her cherry pink lips were bare of any lipstick or gloss but something remarkable, something… he shook it out of his head.

“Each day, I will visit one of the many shrines of Kyoto, documenting my adventure.” She tapped the bell on her collar. “And each day I post the said video on my vlog, and my viewers pledge money to the CMTA Research Center.” Anger filled up his demeanor and he hunched forward his hands back on the table.

“You’re filming me? NOW?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll edit out all of these encounters with you, as I block out the faces of the strangers that I pass.” She said slurping up the noodles with a fork. He watched her hands and she fumbled with the fork. It was clear she wouldn’t be able to use chopsticks as her hands could barely hold the fork. He settled back into his seat shifting his face to look away from her. He reached out to his cup to sip from it not moving on his bowl of Udon.

“What is CMTA.” He asked quietly?”

“I thought you wanted me to stop talking because my voice is annoying?” She watched him fume again.

“Just answer the question.” he huffed then began to spoon Udon broth into his mouth.

“Charcot Marie Tooth Association, it’s an organization devoted to helping people with CMT strive for a better life and a hope for a cure.” She said before eating more of her Udon. He glanced up at her not impressed with her short answer.

“What is CMT?”

“A condition of the peripheral nervous system and results in the deterioration of the nerve and muscle tissue throughout the body.”

“Is that why you are so weak?” his blunt question was met with a laugh.

“You could say it was the first stone on my grave.” she laughed again.

“So, you’re dying?” He felt a sharp pang in his chest, she laughed again.

“We all are.”

“Speak for yourself,” he announced.

“Right, because your a fox demon?” she teased.

“Yes, Wait, what makes you think that?” He said sharply. She pointed to her hair.

“You still have a bit of white from last night just there.” He hadn’t realized the color of his hair had begun changing back. It was too late to fix it, now if had she’d notice and realize he actually was a demon. “What’s your name?”

“Shut up and eat.” he picked up his chopsticks and began slurping up the noodles. “Do you intend to keep going?”

“All the way to the end.” She said then returned to her food.

#Tomoe #kamisama kiss #fox demon #japanese yokai #anime fanfic #Kyoto shrines #kyoto japan

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sinceileftyoublog · 3 years

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Wobbly Interview: Going for Happy

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Thurston Moore Ensemble/Negativland band member Jon Leidecker has been releasing electronic music under the moniker Wobbly for over two decades now. In Chicago experimental label Hausu Mountain, he seems to have found kindred spirits, matching his far out idiosyncrasies. 2019′s Monitress and its follow-up, Popular Monitress, which came out earlier this month, are albums about and by machines, as Leidecker ran his music into pitch trackers and synth apps on his phones and tablets, embracing the errors and randomness that were produced along the way. While the source material on Monitress was mostly improvised, the songs on Popular Monitress are more structured and composed, resulting in songs like “Authenticated Krell”, which follows a comparatively clean synth arpeggio before being enveloped by texture, or “Lent Foot”, where the various instruments trail each other. It’s remarkable just how familiar certain sounds are even if not traditionally instrumental ones, like the typewriter clacks of “Illiac Ergodos 7!” or the zooming notes of the thumping title track. Blurring the lines between what’s instrument and what’s not, and even further, what’s composed music and what’s not, Popular Monitress is a defining statement for both Leidecker and Hausu.

I was able to ask Leidecker about various songs on the album and their inspirations. Read his answers below!

Since I Left You: You chose to write more structured songs this time around before running them through the pitch tracker. Do those nuggets of recognizable structures make the final product all the more disorienting?

Jon Leidecker: Hopefully! On both albums, the main thing is keeping the focus on just how live those pitch trackers are. It’s Monitress as long as you can hear how they’re listening. For years, it was strictly a piece for live performance--I needed to be improvising myself, and able to respond instantly, to really underline just how spontaneous the machine responses are. So the first record tried to keep more of that sense of flow. Large stretches of it are simply baked down from stereo recordings of concerts & radio performances of it. Overdubbing more layers of trackers seemed legal, as long all the voices were following that one original sound.

Of course, when you play a tune, something composed or even quantized, it definitely becomes easier to hear what they’re doing. The exact same code running on each phone will respond in very different ways to the same source audio, and you get a chorus of individual voices. They play a lot of wrong notes, but oddly, if you feed the trackers lots of consonant, major chords, it stops being dissonance, and you can tell they’re going for happy. You hear these weird things, trying to sing in unison, and..the result is just pure delight. Weirdly emotional! What’s a mistake? What’s music?

SILY: How did you come up with the song titles? For instance, is there anything particularly Appalachian about "Appalachian Gendy"?

JL: They’re mostly mashed up references to landmark works in the field of generative & algorithmic composition, from the 50’s up to the early 90’s. The recent push of stories on AI musical tools seems to be about automation and labor-saving, but the field of how to develop tools for more creative ends goes back all the way to Bebe and Louis Barron going to the Macy Conferences on Cybernetics and designing their first self-oscillating feedback circuit.

So while my tracks aren’t really in the musical style of the works they reference--something like “Appalachian Gendy”, which sprung up a fantasy Spiegel/Xenakis tribute, got paired to that stompdown track, and once it did, I added a solo on iGendyn.

SILY: To what extent is your music here inspired by the inner workings of the brain?

JL: Once you get a grip on just how simply neurons and synapses interact, how reassuringly physical thinking is, the electronic music I’ve always found most inspiring often involve feedback systems, self-playing devices, generative music, things that learn rather than settle. Music that helps you model thought. The whole East Coast/West Coast 60’s divide in synth design boiled down to Moog reducing your options until you could easily dial in what you already know you want, and Buchla designing uncertainty machines to be networked together until they approach the complexity of an unknown brain.

SILY: "Synaptic Padberg" and "Every Piano" have moments of recognizable instruments as opposed to alien instruments (strings and piano, respectively). Was that just a product of the errors/randomness of the music-making, or purposeful?

JL: It's supposed to sound orchestral, so I hit my Mellotron and Chamberlin apps pretty hard with this piece. Not like anything remains plausibly real once they're getting hammered by the trackers. That is a real grand piano, however: me playing the tune at SnowGhost Music in Montana. Brett Allen deserves an engineering credit, but I also wanted the first listen to make you wonder.

SILY: There's almost a funky rhythm to "Motown Electronium". Do you envision folks dancing to this record?

JL: Would have been plain wrong to put that title on an unworthy beat. What would a room full of people dancing to this even be like? Maybe in Baltimore.

SILY: Do you think "Training Lullaby" is what a computer trying to write a lullaby would sound like?

JL: Not that relaxing, is it? That’s ten seconds pulled from a five minute live improvisation, just a little burst of fury in the middle. Which I’ve heard enough now that I can sing along to it; so now, for me, it is calming.

I finally had to admit to myself that I’m a fan of the OpenAI Jukebox stuff. It’s right at that stage where their results are still primitive enough to remain a little mysterious. All the context and relationships intrinsic to what humans call music is irrelevant to those GANs. They don’t need culture to make music, they just need waveforms. What does it tell us that simple pattern analysis and brute number crunching on a large enough data set can produce those sounds? They’re training us. I have twelve hours of their Soundcloud dump ripped to my phone, and I play it a lot, though I wouldn’t play it for anyone under four. Can definitely sing along to some of the weirder ones by now.

SILY: How did you approach the order of tracks on the record? I'm struck by, for instance, the chaos of "Grossi Polyphony" following the comparative lull of "Every Piano".

JL: Just trying to show the range, and keep the surprises coming. Perpetual variety becomes monotony so quickly, so there is a very careful balancing act to play between shorter and longer tracks. I like a record where on first listen, any new section that begins, you feel like there are no guarantees how long it’ll last, eight seconds or eight minutes. Even things that sound like they should be songs: no guarantees. I still remember the first time I heard The Faust Tapes as a teenager.

SILY: Did you actually use musical dice to write "Wurfelspiel"?

JL: “Wurfelspiel” is just name-dropping Mozart’s generative piece--again, a real piano, but no musical dice involved.

SILY: The beats towards the end of the album--the pseudo hip-hop of "Cope By Design", techno of "Dusthorn Sawpipe", krautrock of "Help Desk"--seem to me to be far more propulsive than anything else here. Do you see a connection between those tracks?

JL: The album hits you with all these miniatures in the middle to keep things moving, and those three are the last little barrage of them before the shift into the final stretch with the longer, more hypnotic pieces. Can be tough to sequence an album when you’ve got so many short tracks, but it’s also total freedom.

SILY: How did you like getting the Hausu Mountain album art treatment?

JL: Totally family. All the Monitress packaging has always been iPhone panorama mode artifacts, visual glitches not entirely unlike what my phone’s trackers do to what they hear. I gave one of those images to [Hausu Mountain co-founder Max Allison] to work with the cover of the first Monitress, and he sent back this image, saying, “Here’s the initial stage: Your photo reduced to color blocks I’ll carefully render out later.” So when the second hyper-detailed one came back in a more proper Hausu style, they already seemed like a sequence, and this second one was already in place, so it all clicked. Any version of Monitress, the music is different, but it’s always the same piece. I’m really happy they asked me for something. [Label co-founder Doug Kaplan] and Max are just coming from the good place.

SILY: Are you doing any live streams or socially distant shows any time soon?

JL: Multi-location live streams are a blast. The time modulation inherent in all streaming is deeply psychedelic. The kind of listening you have to do when you know that the relationship of sounds together in time is different for each musician involved? I’m learning utterly new tricks, and it’s astonishing just how live the result is. I sat in on a live stream with Thurston Moore Group a few months ago, the four of them in London, and me hooked up to an amp not far from where I normally am when I play with them. And everyone agreed: It felt like I was there, right up until the instant I quit the app.

I’ve been pre-recording some home live sets for Hausu, Curious Music and High Zero Foundation. Negativland is putting together an hour long performance with Sue-C for the Ann Arbor Film Festival in late March. I finished an album mostly recorded outdoors with my old friend Cheryl E. Leonard for Gilgongo, and we’re going to try to a few outdoor concerts, too.

SILY: What else are you currently working on/what's next?

JL: The second album with Sagan, with Blevin Blectum & J Lesser, is coming out in late April. That one took 14 years to finish. There’s a trio record with Thomas Dimuzio and Anla Courtis coming out on Oscarson. Doing a revision of the last episode of my podcast on sampling music, Variations, to incorporate that OpenAI music. Some Negativland releases tying together the last two albums. There are about four of five other albums that might be done, though it takes time to be sure.

SILY: Anything you've been listening to, reading, or watching lately?

JL: This month has been Maryanne Amacher’s collected writings, Keeping Together in Time by William H. McNeill, Ministry For The Future by Kim Stanley Robinson, important even with happy ending. Interview with Karl Friston - Of Woodlice And Men. Listening to a lot of “Blue” Gene Tyranny, Xenakis & Lang Elliott, and last week every Ghédalia Tazartès album in reverse chronological order. I don’t care what anybody says: That guy’s immortal.

SILY: Anything I didn't ask about you want to say?

JL: Thank you for your questions!

Popular Monitress by Wobbly

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giggles-and-freckles · 3 years

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Hey, I am writing a Fanfiction on AO3 and it features a lot of baby Ahsoka, I was wondering if you have any tips on how to write her?

hello!! ahhh, baby Soka! my girl!! I’m going to put a ‘read more’ cut just because this got a bit lengthy haha! I just love explaining my wacky writing process so I got carried away...sorry!!

When I write toddler ‘Soka, I try to have a clear image of her in my head before I actually begin writing and that took some time for me to develop. I’m not sure if that makes sense, but here’s an example. If I’m writing Anakin in TCW era in a situation that is pushing him to his more protective tendencies, I can draw on moments like this (reckless, unreasonable, argumentative), this (violent, *imperial march*), and this (desperate, action-oriented) to create an Anakin that fits in this. That’s how I handle any sort of characterisation for any character. I almost always have moments in my head and I try to pick and pull little pieces of canon personality and circumstances to create what I want in a scene.

So where that gets tough with baby Ahsoka is that we never really see her. So that internal image is a heavier burden on me because George Lucas and Dave Filoni didn’t do it for me. But they gave me this (cute, adorable BABY!!!!! big beaming blue eyes that make you wanna melt!), this (outspoken, not overly traditional when it comes to Jedi hierarchy), and this (feels remorse for reckless actions, looks up to older Jedi)! So my job is to fill in the gaps and create an Ahsoka that is fluid with ‘those Ahsokas.’ And it’s so much fun.

At that point, I have an idea of the kind of toddler I’m writing, so, personally, I draw on my own situations and find inspiration either from myself or people around me. Through my time at university, I volunteered with kindergarteners, so that comes pretty easy for me! I have a good grasp of the priorities, thought patterns, and reasoning of a six-year-old (or lack thereof, ha!). So, to make her voice sound as authentic as possible, coming from a 22-year-old writer, I make sure I’m not writing as myself.

I see my little cousin, Missy, who is five-years-old and wears the same shorts six days in a row because her parents are letting her pick out her own clothes now. I see my husband’s little sister, Zoey, who is nine-years-old and just now discovering an obsession with the history of space travel–she can name the flight crew of every Apollo mission and explain how the gravitational slingshot around the moon worked for Apollo 13 with scary scientific accuracy, but doesn’t really care if the situation is a socially appropriate one to share that information or not. I I see my own twin, Ben, who is grown up now, but used to make me read to him when he would wake up from bad dreams.

22-year-old Abi would say something like this:

“Is there a...reason...you’re suddenly growing your hair out, Obi-Wan?” she asked, cautiously. “Not that it doesn’t look good!” she added quickly. Then, a small smile. “It’s just...different.”

6-year-old Ahsoka Tano, however:

“You need a haircut. And a beard-cut. And a mustache-cut. You looked handsome before...why do you want to look like a bantha all of a sudden?! I think that–wait.” Her eyes widened. “Have you ever tried cutting hair with a lightsaber?” She bounced in her seat, her shoulders wiggling back and forth. “Can I try it?”

So anyway, I’m not sure if any of that was helpful or even coherent in any way, but...that’s the gist of it for me! Also, this is a bit unrelated, but I talked about how my students and my own life impact the way I write teenage Anakin and Ahsoka here! Happy writing!! And...when you’re finished, send it my way if you’re comfortable!!! I’d love to read it! ❤️

#abi answers #writing #lots of hyperlinks sorry hahaha

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fanmode-activated · 4 years

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Things I ought to talk about regarding skam france s5 (basically a long ass rant)

Being the first original Skam season to be made by a remake, there is, of course, going to be many things to discuss about Skam France. It has always been the more dramatic one of the remakes in terms of cinematography and events. The show looks like you’re watching something very produced and professional as opposed to the more “authentic” look that the original show had. It’s not that important honestly for me regarding the quality of the show, it’s more a question of taste, whether you like it or not. The actors are older than their characters, which is not a bad thing in and of itself. It hasn’t been affecting the show negatively is what I’m saying (unless we’re talking about Charles, but I lowkey love Michel and Marilyn’s chemistry, it made me care about their relationship in s2. Only s2. Otherwise fuck Charles). Like every other version, the cast is talented and fits each other well. I think my main issue is that Skam France (and some other remakes, but this is about France) seems to have missed the purpose of Skam, which is to give teenagers hopeful stories that teach them how to communicate.

I want to start by saying that there were a lot of good things in s5. The choice to make it about Arthur was smart, because he is a mysterious guy who would say the weirdest shit unprompted, like how he slept with a 34-year-old woman (we still don’t know what that was about btw), and we basically knew nothing about him, except that he thought his dad was an asshole. He was a blank slate to work with, which is somewhat of a dream.

Making the main theme of the season be about deafness was, in my opinion, a good idea. It had the ability to teach people about a community that is very rarely portrayed in media. It gives D/deaf people representation, which is always good, as long as it is done carefully and respectfully. Luckily, the Skam France team seems to have done its research. They worked with a deaf run theatre company and made sure to hire deaf actors, just to be accurate. Whether every medical detail of Arthur’s sudden deafness is realistic and accurate, I can’t say. It seemed reasonable to me, but someone with more experience would have to tell me. On the technical front, everything seemed fine.

Having Arthur’s dad be abusive was a good idea, because it is a reality, and it would be beneficial to show in the Skam style how this reality affects teens and how to potentially get out of a bad situation. In theory, I am on board with that. What I have an issue with is the second part of that story, which I will address here.

Like I said earlier, the deaf storyline was a great idea. They managed to include other disabilities through the characters of Melchior and Laura, which was amazing. They are adorable and I know some people felt really happy to be represented that way. Noée and Camille are a great addition to the cast, I mean Noée is an adorable badass, and Camille is a toned-down Mika, I could not have asked for more, they’re literally perfect. I think there was a great potential to make them sort of guides for Arthur, friends he needs in this new journey and they achieved that in many ways. However, I could have done without the love triangle. Mainly because, love triangles are so overdone at this point, it’s painful. I mean, literally everyone is so done with love triangles, can we come up with something else, please? From Skam, I would expect a little more originality. Especially Skam France, who unnecessarily pushed the love triangle in s4 with Manon, Sofiane and Imane that didn’t really exist in the original and got a pretty huge backlash. I thought they would learn from their mistakes, considering that the characters often mention previous seasons in s5 to refer to mistakes they made as people, so it’s kind of ironic that the team wouldn’t make an effort themselves to correct their mistakes.

The first major problem with this for me is that they introduced Arthur and Alex as being in a happy and loving relationship. Now, personally, I would have loved if they weren’t in a relationship at all because I mean a) imagine a season where the main character’s problems don’t revolve around a ‘love’ problem somehow, and b) it’s not really realistic to me that they would all be in relationships seeing as they are teenagers. But, forgetting about that because my personal experience of being a teenager is not necessarily universal, since they decided to have them be in a relationship, what was the point if it was only to throw trouble at it? It’s absolutely believable that they would have problems in their couple, and the first part of the season was actually very good at showing that. Arthur’s main problem was acquiring a disability and having to learn to accept it and live with it. The journey was very realistic, and the way Alexia reacted to it was also good and realistic. I was absolutely happy with that. But then, at the same time, we had Noée. She was purposely coded as a romantic interest, but not too much (she was introduced in a pool, the most romantic Skam location, I mean subtlety much?), just enough to confuse the audience. She was what Arthur needed a lot of times, a friend, a guide, and we could see that she had some feelings for him, but if we actually look at the facts, they didn’t interact that much, and a lot of those initial interactions were spent fighting because they had different views about Arthur’s deafness. But let’s say that I ignore the facts and focus on their emotional connection, which I totally believed, on Noée’s side anyway. Why did they do it? I have a few theories. Arthur is constantly torn between his hearing and the deaf world and they decided to represent that with his relationship with Alexia and Noée. Now, I’m not one of those people who need to pick a team (because binary is bullshit, black or white, male or female, good or bad, life is more rich and complicated than that, I don’t subscribe to a binary view of anything), and for those who do, remember that both of them are amazing representation, a confident bisexual girl and a deaf girl as romantic leads is badass either way. But, I reiterate, why make the effort of making Arthur and Alexia’s relationship strong and rootable for, if you’re going to introduce another viable love interest? My guess, like I said is that both girls are representative of the deaf and hearing world, and his relationship to Noée mirrors his relationship to his disability in some way, but if that’s the case then, it’s pretty reductive to both girls.

Noée was shown from the very start as being this independent, strong, confident, caring badass woman. She immediately reached out to Arthur when she saw that he looked like he needed help and guidance. She headbutted a guy who came onto her when she repeatedly told him no. She’s very proud of her deafness, and she has issues with hearing people because of childhood bullying and her father not loving her. In short, she seemed like a complicated, three-dimensional person. So, when clip 12 of episode 8 happened, I was very confused. The way the scene was written is very messy. First off, Arthur only “breaks up” with her because he doesn’t want to be like his dad (which is another thing we need to address later). He refers to the obstacle of their relationship as being communication, which is not actually an obstacle because, with patience and care, any language barrier is obsolete. I mean there are plenty of couples who don’t speak the same language that exists, deaf and hearing people included, so, not really an argument on his part. The second problem with that scene is that it’s constructed in a way where Noée is the one who has to run after Arthur and make the effort of talking out loud. Disregarding the fact that I hate the trope of “the deaf person who doesn’t like using their voice using it in a dramatic moment to be perceived as romantic” (I didn’t like it in Switched at Birth, I don’t like it now), it’s a very ableist view of what qualifies as romantic. I guess there is an argument that could be made about the fact that it’s like if let’s say someone is afraid of heights, but they go on top of a building to save someone who’s about to jump or other instances of conquering one's fear for a loved one. I don’t agree with it, but the right arguments could convince me maybe one day. Noée having to go against something she’s been uncomfortable with forever to say “I love you”? I absolutely do not believe it at all. She doesn’t love him. She cares about him, sure, she likes him even, that of course, I see it, I have eyes, but love? Big word for someone you met what, 4 weeks earlier? Either she doesn’t know what love is and said it out of fear, which I don’t know about, but it could be realistic I guess in some parallel universe, OR it was a ploy by the writers to be dramatic and have Arthur look back at her in a telenovela, 90s soap opera, early 2000s K-drama fashion right before getting hit by a car. Now, could it be argued that Noée suffers from abandonment issues because of her dad? Maybe, but if that was the case, based on the content we’ve had, it’s a pretty far-fetched theory that seems like an attempt to redeem bad writing. I mean, just the fact that he literally gets hit by a car adds to the very unrealistic dramatic flair of the entire clip. It feels like every drama show, which Skam is not supposed to be. It’s hard to enjoy the good acting when the story is so out there. My other main problem with this story is that they want us to believe that Arthur is also in love with Noée. The problem is, they don’t show us, they just tell us. “Show, don’t tell” is a pretty basic film technique, especially in Skam. If they wanted us to really believe that he loved her, they would’ve shown him stalking her Insta, or researching CIs after she talked to him about it, we would’ve gotten some clips of him alone obviously thinking about her, but we never do. The only time she’s relevant is when she’s physically there, or when it has to do with Alexia somehow, he never seems to think about her in a romantic way, only when she might be a problem. So when he tells her that he loves her in the last episode? I don’t believe it for a second.

The love triangle also reduces Alexia to an “issue”, because in the second act of the season, she goes from loving supportive girlfriend to “oh no I hope she doesn’t find out”. At that point, the only outcome was for Arthur to end up alone and figure himself out, which I think was their goal, they wanted him to end up alone and figure himself out, and that’s an amazing lesson to have, I mean it was the ending of season 1, but they didn’t execute it well. There is something there that didn’t need to happen or needed to be handled differently, and it wasn’t, which just left a bad taste in my mouth. I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I know better than professional writes, but as a Skam watcher and general TV and movie watcher, even I can tell that this was not handled properly. I did like Alex’s break up song, not gonna lie.

Now, onto the matter of his dad. As I mentioned before, him being abusive is a good storyline. Arthur had mentioned before that his dad was an asshole, so that being the reason is actually good. However, I don’t think the execution was well done. The set up was perfect for a good story, but somehow it fell short. The first clip Arthur’s father was introduced was perfectly executed from a storytelling perspective. There was an immediate shift in both Arthur and his mom’s demeanor, where they tensed up as soon as he got home. Then Arthur looked clearly uncomfortable when his dad was pressuring him into medicine. Everything about that scene screamed “something is not right here, but I can’t tell what”. Very good setup for a physical or emotional abuse situation. For the next few weeks, every scene with the dad was a bit meek, meaning he was being harsh, but so was Arthur and it was understandable. Arthur was going through the biggest change in his life and his dad just wanted him to look out for his future. While the way he talked seemed a bit asshole-ish, it can easily be explained as a parent wanting his kid to be okay. It was confusing, because the “threatening” aspect seemed to be gone, so we were left wondering where was this going. Then came the big reveal in episode 7, that Arthur’s dad is the one who made him deaf in the left ear by hitting him too hard (which by the way, I did not need to see, what is this, wtfock?). Before we continue, let’s take a second to look at the format the original Skam followed for its stories. The main character is faced with an initial problem that lasts for half the season or a few weeks more (Eva is friendless and she doesn’t trust Jonas, Noora is falling for William but doesn’t want to, Isak is gay but can’t admit it, Sana struggles with her dual identities and liking Yousef). That first problem is half-resolved and the main is faced with problem 2 (Eva cheats on Jonas and is being bullied, Noora gets assaulted, Even turns out to be bipolar, Sana loses herself and fucks up with her friends). Then by using communication, they fix both problems (Eva fixes things with Ingrid and her friends and breaks up with Jonas to find herself, Noora talks to Mari, confronts Nico and fixes her relationship with William, Isak talks to his friends and Sonja, accepts his sexuality and gets back with Even, Sana talks to Isak and her friends and fixes things with them, before fixing things with Yousef). If we follow this model with Arthur, this could have worked perfectly. Problem one, Arthurs becomes deaf and now has to learn to live with it. We see the impact it has on his relationships and himself. Problem 2, we learn that his dad is abusive and now this is his problem for a few weeks, like he tells Noée about it, and she tells him that this is abusive behaviour, and he tries to be like no it’s not, but then it becomes undeniable as the weeks go by and then he talks to someone about it, maybe his mom and/or the police, and so we get a mini-resolution that’s not necessarily immediate, just like with Noora and Nico, where we don’t see the trial or anything like that, but just the action of admitting that his dad is an abusive person and taking actions to protect himself. Then we conclude with him finally fully accepting being part of two worlds, and maybe those two worlds start to merge. This would have perfectly followed the format of the original and would have kept the realistic yet hopeful message. And there is no need to put a love triangle in the middle of it!

This was a very long tangent that addressed both the abuse and the love triangle to get to a specific point, which is that, the dad cheating storyline is very out of place in a show like Skam. I’m not saying it’s not out of character for him, I very much got cheater energy from him, but the stories told are supposed to be about problems faced by teenagers that can be fixed by learning to communicate (or made better, I’m not saying Noora’s story was fixed by talking, it just made her more in control of her situation, but it was still a very serious problem.) But Arthur’s dad cheating on his mom is not something Arthur can fix, it’s not even related to him, it’s a parent problem. All he can do is live through it. Does it affect him? Yes absolutely. But did they need to parallel Arthur’s behaviour with that of his abusive father for him to realize that it was wrong? There are other ways to do that! It feels like they just wanted to have the dramatic dinner scene, where Arthur and his dad scream at each other and reveal everything in a very dramatic Hollywood way. ( And that storyline took us away from his deafness for a while by the way, like did he momentarily stop being deaf? Idk, it was weird for a while. Also, did Arthur need to out Alex at dinner? Lmao, talk about trying to shock your parents.) And, quick tangent, when Arthur told his friends about cheating, can we talk about Yann and Lucas’s responses? They tell him not to say anything? May I remind you of season 1, when Emma tells Lucas about her cheating and he told her not to say anything because he knew that if she did, she would be forgiven? And Yann, who knows what it’s like to be cheated on, and knows that telling her himself directly might help (or not, but still) is also telling him to not say anything. Like, did they forget about their own lives? This is just more proof that they wanted drama from this situation, which is kind of sad. Basically what I’m saying is they made the second half of the season a dramafest, which turned me off so much. It reminded me a lot of s3 of wtfock, which relied on drama way too much for its own good and mad me constantly mad at a bunch of fictional teens. And, maybe this is going too much into details, so I understand if not a lot of people agree with me on that but, Arthur was never alone. In every season, the character reaches a point where, in their POV, they feel like they are utterly alone and that no one cares for them, and they have to be the one to make a move to reach out and communicate with others. It never felt that way with Arthur. He always had either the boys, Alexia or Noée in his corner, he never reached that point of total despair. It’s not a bad thing per sé, it just feels like something that is supposed to happen in Skam, it’s part of the character’s journey, and here it was left out, but instead, we got a lot of useless plots.

Now, the last thing that irked me about the season, (and I know it’s nitpicky and detail-y) but I realized applied to the whole series was the dialogue. Skam France’s dialogue was always too fast, but I always saw it as “oh well the French speak quickly in general and their humour is very quick and dry”, so I didn’t mind it much, because I was used to it and at least we had some quiet times. But in this original season, they talked so much! It’s like, they’re always on, there’s no pauses, no awkward silences, and Arthur doesn’t have many clips where it’s just him alone thinking. They don’t seem to realize people aren’t always funny, they’re not on all the time. It worked well when it came to showing Arthur’s personality, he’s the guy with the jokes, and he makes them even at awkward times, but in group settings, it’s like we were in Gilmore Girls, like, breathe.

Last thing I want to address before concluding this very long and unnecessary rant. The finale. I didn’t want to write about it before I watched the live on youtube after the season, but I was translating and the live was lagging, so I barely caught glimpses here and there, therefore I cannot talk about season 6, since I have no idea what they discussed, and I can’t talk about what Niels or David said about the choices for the season. But I can talk about the finale. That last scene with Noée and Alexia was very weird and felt very forced. What was its purpose except make Alexia and Arthur be on good terms for next season? I don’t know. It’s like they wanted to wrap it up immediately when it’s not something that can be done naturally that way. I do wanna shout out Alexia for learning more signs than Arthur in days than he did in weeks, what a queen. Second thing, I don’t know what all the thing with season 6 is, like what veto on characters they got from NRK or whatever, but what is clear is that they wanted the season to revolve around Daphné, since she’s the one we’ve been getting hints of for the entirety of season 5. But if that was the only way they could thing to introduce Lola, it was weird. She just appeared out of thin air (except that one scene in detention where we saw her back), and so I don’t care about her at all. Like, I have no investment in seeing her POV, so making her appear suddenly in the finale is not the greatest move. I wish they had built her up at least a little, like her herself, not just by having Daphné acting weird. And let’s talk about that last shot, where a group of people stood in the middle of a party in front of a mural, holding hands. Realism who? is what they said. I mean sure it was cute or whatever (why was Lucas crying, y’all are seeing each other next week, i-) but it did not have its place there. It felt like they really wanted that scene but didn’t know how to wrap the season nicely. Something felt really off to me. Then again, the entire second part of the season had me very confused, so maybe my perception is biased. Maybe I’ll love it on a future rewatch. All I can say is that it didn’t feel Skam like at all.

I don’t want to end this on a negative note, I mean I tried giving my opinion with somewhat coherent reasoning behind it because you can love something but still critique it, but I know negativity is a very easy train to get on, so let’s finish with the stuff that I loved this season.

Emma and Arthur’s relationship, I actually missed her and loved that they managed to seamlessly bring her into Arthur’s life, I was afraid she would be left behind because Manon isn’t there.

Basile and Arthur’s friendship, it was honestly the highlight of my week a lot of times, they literally destroyed toxic masculinity.

Alexia in general, I was glad to see her be overall amazing, we love the bi rep.

Lucas’s hair. Do I need to explain it?

Background Elu and Background Sofimane. We like happy couples.

No Marles (I don’t hate them I just don’t care for them).

Episode 2, Clip 3.

Camille watching the drama unfold in the background and being like 👀

The LSF lessons

Melchior and Laura

Camille and Mika

Robin’s acting, he’s very talented, he made me care about Arthur.

Some other stuff that is not coming to me right now.