s2 and s3 Hawk whenever Demetri has the audacity to exist in the same general vicinity

can you get that weird guy out of here please. I’m starting to feel a little bit flustered and i don’t want to confront & come to terms with that right now

I. Would never have known this wasn't about Cobra Kai if I didn't look at the tags akjldshunj

Was legitimately just going to be like "yep, this is what it's like hyperfixating on those two obscure non-karate-doing girls in the karate kid spinoff show. I'm in constant agony"

Me watching this show but I just keep going “I love women” every five minutes despite the fact the majority of the important characters are men

I love you “unlikeable” female characters I love you rude girls I love you mean women I love you girl interpretations of the “Asshole with a Heart of Gold” trope I love you women who get labeled Cold and Unfeeling I love you girls who lash out I love you women who lie I love you female characters who make people mad just by existing

S2-S3 Hawk about Demetri akslibkjsdbf

*penis starts throbbing* my arch nemesis is near…

Thinking about how Nocturnalverse Eli became a monster for love, and thinking about how both Demetri’s vampirism and his and Eli’s love for each other are absolutely incurable afflictions

i hate hate hate hate hate hate hate when a monster is loved and that love turns them human I HATE IT I HATE IT SO MUCH. tell that thing that goes bump in the night that you love the way its fangs glimmer in the moonlight and the way its horrible gnarled claws are so gentle with you or GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!

the list of these films that Demetri likes is frankly insane

a flop movie only a weird gay person could love

citationless behavior

Moon @ Demetri in S1

WHAT

W H A T

I HAVE BEEN THEIR SINGLE BIGGEST FAN SINCE 2021 AND I NEVER NOTICED THIS???

Like Demetri being 0 and Eli being "the 1"??? Yeah, that's some simp behavior. You're saying you're nothing and Eli is everything. Boy you are not being subtle about your crush, you are doing the Will Smith thing.

But mimicking Eli's dance move because none of his own stuck in his head???

I'm just staring because my god he absolutely is.

I'm honestly not surprised. Demetri's always had this air of like "who cares about me??? I'm lame, I'm boring, I'm typical, I'm Just Some Guy, let's talk about ELI MOSKOWITZ who's FUNNY and SMART and COOL and CHARMING and I am SO ANNOYED that he's embarrassed about all that, like what the fuck!!!" Like all the stuff Demetri refuses to be embarrassed about liking is stuff Eli also likes??? And is good at??? And Eli really shines when he's shamelessly doing his thing without worrying what people think, like in the video. You can tell he's having a good time, even if his grumpy S2 and S3 ass would never admit it XD

Demetri's problem with the Hawk shtick was never "oh no, you're abandoning all of my interests and getting different interests :(" and much more "you abandoned everything that made you feel happy and at ease and took this guy I love and made him perform this exhausting facade to impress a bunch of lame bitches who don't matter >:( " Like this "Hawk" business is making Demetri's favorite person in the world and the coolest bitch on the block repress himself!!! How DARE!!! Best believe Demetri's not down with that shit at all.

But tbh??? This DOES confirm what I've suspected all along:

Demetri never really gave a crap about what he does, or flaunting his accomplishments. It was always all about Eli.

thinking about how when demetri recreated the binary brothers dance for moon and aisha, he didnt even do one of his own moves but instead it was something eli did

I appreciate the shout-out to my fic akadjuhsoih

No but like. Now I want to read this concept so bad??? They're, say, walking to one of their houses to work on a school project, generally being irritated with each other's company. Then they get harassed by some jock who's hitting on Yas while also making fun of her for railing a gay guy (which is, of course, how he reads this situation). Suddenly, these two annoying, mouthy little shits on opposite ends of A Spectrum (idk what spectrum, but A Spectrum for sure) unite in a moment of bloodthirsty passion and let worth years upon years of repressed anger. Demetri is bashing him with a chemistry textbook (thanks for the combat tip, Chris!), Yasmine is pouring nail polish remover down his throat, and before they know it...oh shit, he's not breathing??? Should we call the hospital??? Should we drag him behind this dumpster and hope for the best???

Finally they decide the best call is to pretend like he's their drunk, passed out friend and go for a joyride on one of Yasmine's family's yachts. Into the ocean he goes, and Yasmine and Demetri have finally discovered one (1) thing they have in common. No one will notice them quietly sobbing into each other's shoulders if they look like they're just groping each other, after all 🔪🩸

(I'm so annoyed that I want to write this concept now, despite already having like 4270 niche-appeal, Yasmine-centric WIPs lying around. I'm even more annoyed that I'm this invested in this idea when the target audience for shaking S4 Yasmine around and trying to figure out what the fuck is going on in there consists of all of three (3) people--you, me, and @zannolin XD )

only explanations i will accept for yasmines character are truly freaky magic shit or a friday night lights tyra landry moment where they reveal that the real reason demetri and yasmine are Like That is because they accidentally murdered someone together and now they're bonded by this horrible secret and decided to make out about it instead of anything else

His shitty attitude and grabbable waist have bewitched me

blood as a fashion statement u either get it or u don’t

Public speaking is actually really easy if you don't respect a single soul in that room. I've had an incredibly easy time delivering speeches when I hated everybody I saw and they all thought I did amazing because my disdain was read as confidence. I don't have any tips for you I'm just telling you a fact

Mooncore

Imagining Demetri posting this to troll Moon akajsdulib

Happy Miguetri Monday!!! It's giving Them aksjudhlb

idk if im actually bi or nit but i have an 8 am class tomorrow cant worry about that

Hawk and Demetri are like this. To me