#fuck you thomas
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Anne *to Cathy*: Are you single?
Thomas: She’s literally my girlfriend.
Anne: Oh, I’m sorry.
Anne *turns to thomas*: Is your girlfriend single?
#fuck you thomas#anne boleyn#jane seymour#anna of cleves#catherine parr#katherine howard#catherine of aragon#six#six the musical#six the musical incorrect quotes#incorrect six quotes#six incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect six the musical quotes#parrlyn#parrleyn#anne boleyn x catherine parr
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Sometimes when Dicks just too tired to deal with the batfam’s shit he starts encouraging them.
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Surrounded by gang members and caught in the crossfire between two gangs
Jason *pulling out a gun* : I’m gonna fucking obliterate all of them
Nightwing: Go right ahead
Jason: .. you serious? I’m not playing Dick I WILL shoot every single one of them in the head
Nightwing: sure.
Jason:
Nightwing: What you want me to start? Okay.
Jason: .. Dick why the fuck do you have a gun? DICK STOP LOADING THE GUN-
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At a stakeout waiting for the proof before intervening
Tim: Why can’t we just force a confession instead of waiting for him to crack?
Stephanie: Ooo or threaten him with blackmail so bad he starts crying!
Duke: Guys *eyes point to Dick sitting in a corner*
Stephanie: Right.. party pooper
Nightwing:
Nightwing: Okay got it.
*heads out*
Duke: No Dick wait! We were joking!
Stephanie: drama queen just needs a minute sunshine- wait is that him approaching the target?
Tim *who’s seen this happen before* *panicking knowing what’s gonna go down* : OH SHIT ABORT-
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Being stuck with a very annoying henchmen who won’t stop talking
Damian: .. Can we simply shut him up?
Nightwing: whatever you wanna do
Damian *narrows eyes*: I can’t ruin my katanna for this
Nightwing: *hands him knife*
Damian:
Nightwing: And remember, the most effective place to silence someone without causing them excruciating pain and also temporarily depriving them of air is right here *points to a small area on the neck*
Damian: ..
Nightwing: .? Go on?
Damian *putting it away* : .. no..
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It works a 1000 times more effectively just because either all of them are bluffing or they’re scared Dick’s not.
#Damian thinks it’s a test#he doesn’t want to fail this#dick just said “fuck it god I’m testing you today#batfam headcanons#dick Grayson#nightwing#robin#Damian Wayne#red hood#Jason todd#Tim drake#red robin#spoiler#Stephanie brown#duke thomas#the signal#dc#dc batman#batfam
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au where the bats manage to stay urban legends, sure other heroes know of them, but they help largely from the shadows, they aren't put on display and they're hardly known at All outside of the strange circle of gotham's goons
that changes when duke thomas stares batman down and says on no uncertain terms that he's working day shift
the signal is Gotham's first confirmed superhero, and he wears a bat on his chest
social media goes Wild fighting over whether the Batman existed all along or if someone finally got the tech and powers to make the bat (or a bat) Real
suddenly the world of superheros feels a lot more real to the citizens of Gotham who got used to horrible disasters being either ignored or neatly cleaned away from the public eye, now there's a guy getting thrown through windows and helping grannies cross the street and the war between gotham and metropolis gets even more cut throat
#duke thomas#bruce wayne#batman#batfam#bread talk#i think it would be very interesting if social media invents some beef between superman and a literal 16 yr old#that would be So fucking funny#to me#not to them#they have to do like pr and publicity things to be like nope we are sure friends and he's like my step foster father once removed#and u know what#tim drake#lmao#thats for me#batfamily#you know the general Thems
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This barely counts as finished but whatever. Finally finished my batfam portrait. They are at Coney Island
#they are having a nice time#narsposting#dc comics#batman#in order >#duke thomas#dick grayson#tim drake#alfred pennyworth#damian wayne#bruce wayne#cassandra cain#jason todd#not tagging their supersonas fuck you#batfam#batfamily
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Batkid Groupchat
Dick: someone save me pls
Jason: What's wrong?
Dick: Gala at Wayne Manor
Dick: This guy won't stop talking to me
Jason: lol sucks to suck
Damian: Sorry Richard, I cannot attend to the situation. That would give up my hiding spot.
Damian: I meant vantage point.
Damian: If any of you tell Bruce, I will murder you.
Cass: Damian, look up
*sends photo of Damian in the rafters of Wayne Manor*
Damian: Ah, great minds think alike I see.
Tim: hold up Dick, I wanna get out of this conversation too, I'll be over in a sec
Steph: Can't relate
Steph: This is why you don't let the first billionaire who offers adopt you
Steph: then you gotta go to the stuffy parties
Steph: Duke and I are the only smart ones
Duke: Agreed, have fun at the party
Later at the Gala
*Red Hood and the Outlaws come busting through the door*
Red Hood: This is a hostage situation
Red Hood: We want Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Cassandra Cain, and Damian Wayne.
Bruce, also desperately wanting to get out: Aren't you forgetting someone
Red Hood: Oh, right, Alfred Pennyworth
Bruce: aren't you forgetting someone else?
Red Hood: No
Bruce: Ja- Red Hood. Aren't you going to take me!
Red Hood: what would I need you for? I already have CEO of Wayne enterprises *ruffles Tim's hair, about to get fought by Tim* (under his breath: you fight back, I'm leaving you behind), a police officer, biological son of a billionaire, cool af dancer Cassandra Cain, and Alfred the Almighty
Bruce: don't you want a billionaire too?
Red Hood: If I take you, who is going to pay the ransom?
*Taking the Batkids and Alfred out of the gala as Bruce pouts*
Jason: one of you swipped Bruce's credit card before we left, right?
Tim: of course, we aren't amateurs
Jason: then ice cream on Bruce!
#steph and duke were already out in the car waiting#this was a team effort#they met up with babs at the icecream shop#the place was packed full specifically as a fuck you to Bruce#batfam#batkids#bat family#jason todd#bruce wayne#tim drake#damian wayne#dick grayson#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#duke thomas#jason todd and the outlaws#red hood and the outlaws#red hood#alfred pennyworth#they send photos from the ice cream shop to Bruce all night long#he grounds them all in the morning#Babs and Alfred claim they were only there 'for adult supervision'#but we all know it was for the icecream#incorrect batfamily quotes
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Thinking longingly about him again. (The Pennyworth series for some inexplicable reason.)
#pennyworth#listen#that show was fucking bonkers#but I have such#a need#for that version of Alfie Pennyworth to interact with baby Bruce Wayne#Martha and Thomas probably handed Bruce to him just to hold#and Alfie did the bugs bunny communism meme in his head#'your baby? you mean OUR baby'#'I'm gonna teach him crime :)'
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mirabelle: eeyikes! this sadness looks really tough! if only there was a Paper ALPHA V who could tell me what Craft Type it is before we become Stars In Time!!!
odile:
#my art#in stars and time#isat#isat odile#odile isat#have you guys seen that one pic of thomas sanders going around cuz thats what this is based off of.#this is my first time ever drawing odile I Am Fucking Sorry Women
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qsvwoawm?j}qvlp}j}kwu}op}j}
gwfquy}rm{awuz|qufyq
#drawing brian's face is so fucking hard when there are .0001 references available#we ball nevertheless#inspired by that one guy that said that in my screenshot redraw brian looked like a ghost. this one's for you#eyestrain cw#brian marble hornets#brian thomas#brian mh#hoodie mh#hoodie marble hornets#marble hornets#mh#art#my art#illustration
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Kinktober 2023 - Day 5
Caught Masturbating with Tommy Shelby
"Caught In The Act"
Smut - Explicit content - NSFW - 18+ only!
Summary: Tommy has somehow fallen through time & made a new life in the modern day with you. He wants more than friendship & an awkward encounter makes you confront that idea.
Warnings: Smut (NSFW) - 18+ ONLY - masturbation, voyeurism, sex toys, dirty talk, swearing, pet names, hair pulling, creampie, vaginal sex, very light dom/sub, a little bit of fluff
Tommy wasn't quite sure what to expect when he opened the door to your small apartment and immediately heard the sound of your voice moaning and whimpering. He immediately went to reach for his weapon, suddenly remembering that he was unarmed. He was still getting used to living in this new century and the fact that he no longer had a reason to be armed.
It was all still a mystery as to how he ended up here. He had no idea how he had taken one breath in 1930 and the next in 2023. Neither did you, but that didn't stop you from helping him. Even though to pretty much anyone else, his story made him sound utterly certifiable. Instead of judging or turning and running the other way, you were kind and caring.
He slowly began approaching your bedroom, and the sound of your voice became louder. The closer he got, the clearer it became that your whimpers were not of pain or fear but of pleasure. He had dreamt about hearing you make sounds like that since the moment he first met you.
You had been so sweet to him since he ended up here. You showed him kindness in a way he was completely unused to. Allowing him to stay in your spare room and helping him learn to navigate the modern world. He had become quite smitten with you, actually. You had given him the chance of a fresh start. A chance he was determined to seize.
You also weren't afraid of him. You would talk back to him and call him on his bullshit. Your modern feminism serving you quite well when mixed with your sharp wit. He hated to admit that it gave him butterflies when you laughed openly in his face about doing some chore he always thought to be 'woman's work'. He knew damn well you wouldn't be serving him anytime soon, and frankly, he found your demeanor refreshing.
You were also stunningly beautiful. In a way that was all your own. Tommy Shelby was well accustomed to interacting with and even seducing attractive women. He had been married to two beautiful women. Both Grace and Lizzie were enchanting, but you were a creature from another world entirely.
All of these things had him utterly spellbound by you. He'd be lying if he said he didn't spend his evenings imagining what it would be like to be yours and for you to be his. He had a suspicion that underneath your sweet exterior was a devil waiting to come out at the most intimate times. He wanted to be the one to unleash it.
He often thought about you sneaking in to join him in the shower after you overheard him stroking himself. Picturing you dropping to your knees in front of him. Staring up at him through your eyelashes. Water droplets starting to roll down your body, your nipples pebbled and at attention from the temperature change. Wanting to help take care of him, since you knew that it was because of you that his cock was throbbing.
It was because of all the fantasies he had about you that he kept walking towards your door. Stopping only momentarily when he saw your door was cracked open. Your voice was now crystal clear as you whined and moaned, but now he could also hear a soft buzzing and a wet sound. There was now no doubt in his mind exactly what you were doing. You were masturbating.
His suit pants tightening at just the thought that he was catching you playing with yourself. He really was trying to turn over a new leaf. To be a better, more respectable man than he had been. He knew that peeking through your open door was the wrong thing to do, but he just couldn't help himself. Not when he was still a devil at heart, and you sounded so angelic.
What he saw when he looked through the cracked door was immediately worth any guilt he may have felt. It was by far the most erotic thing he had ever seen in his entire life. You were naked from the waist down with the t-shirt you had slept in rucked up to expose your breasts. Up on your knees with your face turned to the side and your shoulders pressed down into the mattress, your ass up in the air. Your eyes squeezed shut, and your mouth dropped open. Your hair dishelved and a little sweaty. Both of your hands busy between your legs.
In his time vibrators and other sex toys were uncommon. Really, they were just being invented. So seeing you with a vibrator in one hand pressed to your clit, and a big fake cock in your other hand greedily ramming it in and out of your tight little hole was nearly enough to have him cumming on the spot. You were taking what you wanted, what you needed, and doing it with zero shame or hesitation.
He could see the dildo glistening with your slick everytime you pulled it out of your cunt. Judging from the ring of white cream around the base of it, you must have already been fucking yourself for a while. His hand was already moving to palm himself over the fabric of his pants. Gripping his length and wishing his cock was that toy stretching your pussy. Biting his lip to keep from groaning and giving away his presence.
All that went out the window, however, when you started to moan again. Clearly getting closer and closer to another orgasm. Your hips thrusting to meet the toy and the wet squelch of your cunt getting louder. As you chased your climax you started to speak. Letting the fantasy in your head spur you closer to cumming. It was what you said that sent Tommy spiraling further into his own lust alongside you.
His name. You said his name.
"Oh fuck, yes Tommy. Right there. Fuck! You feel so good. Need you to make me cum again."
You said his name while you were fucking yourself with your toy. You were imagining your toy was his cock. You wanted him just as badly as he wanted you. No, you said you needed him. Needed, not just wanted him.
He felt his member pulse and leak at your admission. Before he even realized what he was doing, he brought one hand up to rap lightly against your doorframe. Officially announcing his presence before moving to open the door wider. It didn't leave you any less startled by the sudden intrusion at such a private moment.
He couldn't help the smirk that formed on his face as you scrambled to cover yourself. Pulling your shirt back down to hide your breasts and grabbing at the covers to conceal the mess between your thighs. Quickly trying to stash your toys under your pillow. Not that he couldn't hear the wet suction of your cunt desperately trying to hold onto the dildo as you pulled it out. Or your vibrator still buzzing under the pillow that you were now pretending you didn't hear. Not that you didn't look like you had spent the day fucking yourself silly anyway.
He slowly entered your room. Fully aware of the tent in his pants. Knowing that it gave away the fact that he had been eavesdropping on you. His smirk turned into a grin as he saw you notice his erection. Involuntarily licking your lips. Obviously, still in need of satiating your desires despite your embarrassed blush.
"Tommy, I thought you had gone out. How… how long have you been home? … how long have you been standing at my door?"
His eyes dropped to the floor momentarily, debating how to answer in a way that wouldn't make you think he was a creep. Even though you both clearly desired the same thing. Now he had discovered that he could give it to you, but only if he played his hand diplomatically.
"I did go out, but then I came back. Decided that I enjoyed your company far more than anyone else I could have run into. As far as your other questions… I was worried when I came back and heard you moaning. I thought maybe you had fallen, but I was obviously very mistaken. You are definitely not hurt, but you do seem to be in need of help. Help that you seem to want me to offer, and it would be remiss of me not to tell you that I desperately want to provide that help. That I think about you at night and wish I could be in your bed instead of my own. That I daydream about fucking you on every surface of this apartment."
By now, your mouth had fallen open at his admission. Clearly, you hadn't been expecting him to confess all this. He confidently strode closer to your bed, bringing himself to stand right at the edge of the side where you sat. Your eyes roaming his body before eventually falling back to his bulge before quickly jumping back up to his blue eyes.
"Now, my beautiful girl, I heard you call out my name before. Pretending that toy that you're hiding was my cock. I'd be surprised if you haven't heard me calling out your name as I fuck my own fist. Pretending I'm fucking your pretty little cunt instead. So I think it's safe to say we both want the same things, but I'll ask anyway. Do you want me like I want you?"
Tommy moved to sit himself down on the bed in front of you. Bringing one hand up to your cheek and letting his thumb pull lightly on your bottom lip. He could see the lust in your eyes, and you quickly nodded your head. Whispering a soft breathy "yes" that made him smile wider because now he knew he could really have you.
He brought his other hand to your waist and slowly brought his plush lips to yours. The kiss began soft and tender, but before long, it started to become more heated. Both of you starting to feel the need to finally feel each other grow.
Tommy carefully lowered you down to lay on the bed. Throwing the covers off of your legs so he could run his hands over the soft flesh of your thighs. One of your hands moving to the longer pieces of his hair and the other starting to toy with the buttons on his crisp white shirt. He still insisted on wearing a suit nearly every day, and you were thankful he had apparently already ditched his waistcoat and jacket before he heard you.
One by one, you undid the buttons on his shirt. Opening just enough that you could slip your hand inside and feel his bare chest. Your fingers dancing over his dusting of light brown chest hair and the edges of his tattoo. You wanted to rip his clothes off and let him take you. To let him bring your fantasies to life, but you knew that before you lost all sense of self-control, you needed to figure out what exactly this was. So you lightly pushed him back far enough to separate your lips from his. Enough to look into his mesmerizing blue eyes.
"Wait, Tommy, hold on. I'm not the person that just fucks people. I'm not good at the no strings attached thing. If that's what you want this to be then we are better off just finishing this each by ourselves. Pretending neither of us ever saw or said anything."
He chuckled at your statement. Not because it was funny, but in disbelief. Could you really not tell the spell you had him under? Did you really think he would spend so much time thinking about you if he only wanted you for a night?
"Oh no, princess, we do this it means you are mine. It means you are mine, and I am yours. Like I said, I want to fuck you and love you on and against every surface of this apartment. That will take far longer than one night. We do this, there is no getting rid of me."
With that, he forcefully crashed his lips into yours, desperately trying to convey how badly he truly wanted you. The feeling of your fingernails gripping into his back through his shirt only spurring him on. Like squeezing your heels into the sides of a horse, your actions only making him move faster.
He reached down to pull your leg up over his hip as he continued to kiss you. Moving down to suck and bite at your neck as he ground his pelvis down against you. Automatically, he could feel the heat from your sex through the fabric of his pants and boxers. Reminding him again of how he had found you. How you were still soaked and ready for him.
A growl fell from his lips as he bit your neck when the sensation of your slick started to soak through to his cock. Rutting his hips into you harder and pulling the most beautiful gasp from you that turned into a wanton moan. Suddenly any trepidation you had been feeling had fled and your animal urges took over.
You immediately brought both hands to his shirt and proceeded to rip it open. Sending buttons scattering before shoving it back off of his shoulders so Tommy could discard it. He moved on to his pants just as quickly. Getting the button and zipper undone while he took off his undershirt.
You were just able to shove his pants down to his knees when he pushed you back flat on the bed. Quickly taking off his slacks, leaving him in just his boxers before returning all his attention to you. Slowly dragging his hands up the outsides of your thighs to start pulling your shirt up your body. His eyes studying each new inch of flesh revealed to him.
When your shirt was finally high enough to reveal the treasure hidden between your thighs, you thought Tommy might actually start to drool. You were soaked, and your thighs were messy with your arousal. Your clit was swollen and puffy from your vibrator. Your lips flushed and your hole was still gaping slightly from where you had your dildo buried inside of you. The only thing missing from the picture was the sight of his cum leaking out of you. That would have made it perfect.
"Fucking perfect."
He whispered under his breath before diving down to pepper your stomach with kisses. Biting at your hip bones and stealing a single taste of your cunt before continuing upward. He knew he would be back with his head between your legs later that night. Right now he couldn't wait to be inside you, but he had to finish getting you naked first.
His lips danced over your soft stomach, and his teeth nipped at your ribcage. Nuzzling his nose at the bottom of your breasts as he started to pull your shirt up over them. Keeping his face close to your skin and reveling in your sweet noises. Adoring every part of your body. Smiling against your skin when you finished pulling your shirt off and threw it to the side. Your body finally completely bare for him.
You were getting impatient with his slow pace. As much as you were enjoying his touch, you had been ready for him to fuck you before he had even entered the room. You tried hard to suppress the needy moans that escaped your lips as he studied every inch of your naked body.
"You are even more beautiful than I fantasized."
As nice as his compliment felt, you were nearing the end of your rope. You needed to feel him inside you, or else you feared for your sanity.
"You've already got me in bed naked and horny, Thomas. You don't have to lay on the flattery. I'm on the pill so just hurry up and fuck me."
You reached down to grab his erection. Squeezing firmly over the fabric of his boxers before shoving your hand inside to start stroking him. Your whimpers were nearly louder than his as you felt every vein on his length and circled his tip only to find him leaking and wet for you.
Through staggered breath and the most beautiful groans and growls, he finished his thoughts. His hips started to rut into your hand as pumped his cock perfectly. He mentally thanked the advancements in birth control that he wouldn't have to wait or pull out. Although he always preferred bareback anyway, with both horses and women.
"It's not flattery if it's the truth, and it is the truth. Like I said, I've thought about this. A lot. Now, lay back on the bed for me like a good girl."
You did as he said. Pulling your hand out of his boxers and licking the precum off of your fingertips as you laid yourself out for him. Legs spread and back arched in a sinful tableau just for him. Letting him sit back on his heels and study you for a moment. His eyes devouring every inch of you.
A cocky smirk on his face, he stared right into your eyes as he pushed his boxer shorts down over his hips. His cock finally free and standing proud. Tommy wasn't sure he had ever actually been this hard before, and it was all because of you. It was all for you.
You groaned at the sight of his thick cock. It was even bigger than your toy was. Biting your bottom lip and grabbing your own breasts. Toying with your nipples as you thought about how good it was going to feel to finally have his cock inside you after all these months of wanting.
He didn't break eye contact with you as he gripped his length and gave it a few slow strokes. Using the precum dripping for his flushed red cockhead to prepare himself. Enjoying the feeling of you watching him. Especially now that you knew he spent nearly every night doing just that thinking only of you.
"Tell me what you want. Tell me what you want me to do. Just like you did with that fake cock of yours."
Tommy descended on you like a predator caging in its prey. His arms braced on either side of your head. His chest pressed to yours. His cock now shamelessly rubbing against your wet cunt. Sliding up and down against your lips and the ridge of his swollen head teasing your clit. You could hear the wet sounds coming from between you.
The most desperate noise you ever made pulled from your throat before you could answer. Right before you did exactly what he told you and begged for his cock like you had with your toy. Your eyes pleading for him to finally take you.
"Want your cock inside me, Tommy. Need you to fuck my tight little pussy and make me cum. Want to cum on your cock. Want to feel you cum inside me."
A growl came from the back of his throat. He was very pleased with how you begged for him. He lowered to nip at your bottom lip. His eyes were nearly black with only a sliver of the normal bright blue remaining.
"That's a good girl. Normally so nice and sweet and proper, but not in the bedroom, eh? I could get very used to hearing you talk like a slut for me."
He brought one hand to drag down your body. Making sure to stop and tug at your nipple before continuing its path between your bodies. Moving his cock so his fat tip sat right at your opening.
Slowly starting to push inside of you. With how wet you were, he could almost slip right in. Your warmth engulfing him and making him swear under his breath. No one had ever felt as perfect around him as you did.
"Oh my God, Tom."
You whined at the stretch of him. Even after spending so much time fucking your toy, Tommy still made you feel delightfully full. His length immediately brushing up against your g-spot that was still swollen from fucking yourself. It felt like he was made for you. His slow shallow thrusts immediately starting to push you towards orgasm, and your moans and whimpers starting to push him towards his.
"Can't believe you were holding this perfect cunt back from me this whole time. Well that's not happening anymore, love. I'm never leaving your pretty little pussy ever again."
His thrusts started to pick up pace when you greedily nodded and agreed. Pushing his hips into yours with more force as he dropped his head to bite and suck at your neck. One hand coming to dig your nails into his shoulders, and the other was moving to pull at the longer pieces of hair on the top of his head.
Your own hips starting to roll underneath him to meet his thrusts. The sound of your bare skin slapping together starting to echo around the room with the squelch of your wet cunt as an accent. Both of you already breathing heavily. The realization dawning on both of you as soon as your cunt started squeezing his shaft that this round wasn't going to take very long. Tommy could already feel little spurts of precum dripping from his cock into your cunt each time you contracted around him.
"Oh fuck, darling. I'm so close. Where do you want me to cum? Want me to fill you up princess?"
His declaration made the band start to tighten in your low belly.
"Fill me up, Tommy. Cum in my pussy, baby. I'm close too. Keep talking to me. You're gonna make me cum."
An evil smirk on his face as he gave up, trying to hold anything back. His hips starting to piston into you. The headboard of your bed beginning to bang against the wall as Tommy began pounding into you. His intense blue eyes locked with yours and his nose nuzzling against you as he spoke. Urging you on.
"That's it, love. Don't hold back. Let go for me. Fuck, you feel so incredible. Thought about this every night and it's even better than I could have imagined. Feel like this cunt was made for me. Is this my cunt? Cum on my cock and prove it to me, love. Cum for me."
All it took was his order to send you over the edge. Your back arching and a ragged moan pulled from your chest as your body began to shudder. The feel of you cumming allowing Tommy to finally let go. His last few thrusts becoming sloppy as he followed your lead into orgasmic bliss. The feeling of him shooting his warm load inside your cunt prolonging your own orgasm.
After a moment to catch your breath, Tommy leaned down to place another kiss on your lips. Less heated and hurried but no less passionate. Then he slowly pulled out of you and rolled to the side. Urging you to lift your head so he could thread one around underneath and wrap it around your shoulder. Wanting to hold you close but not wanting to smother you.
When Tommy finally broke the silence, it startled you a little. Part of you had still expected him to just get up and leave. You certainly weren't expecting him to say what he did.
"Thank you."
You couldn't help the guffaw that came from your body. Quickly elaborating before he got the wrong idea from your reaction.
"For what, fucking you?"
Luckily, he seemed to find your response funny and gave a chuckle of his own before he elaborated. His voice getting softer as he let down his armor, something he had rarely done before, and let you inside. Rolling over to face you and wrapping one atm around your middle to pull you closer to him. His aquamarine eyes were bright and clear as he looked deeply into your eyes.
"For everything. So technically yes, thank you for fucking me, but more than that thank you for everything else you've done for me. For letting me stay here despite having no idea where I was or how I got here. For trusting me when I know others told you not to. For teaching me how to navigate this world. For giving me a chance. For all of it. Thank you."
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#kinktober 2023#kinktober#tommy shelby#thomas shelby#peaky blinders#tommy shelby smut#thomas shelby smut#peaky blinders smut#peaky fucking blinders#peaky fookin blinders#tommy shelby x reader#tommy shelby x you#tommy shelby x y/n#thomas shelby x reader#thomas shelby x y/n#thomas shelby x you#cillian murphy#cillian murphy smut#peaky blinders x reader#tommy shelby fanfic#tommy shelby fluff#tommy shelby imagine#tommy shelby drabble#thomas shelby fanfic#peaky blinders fanfic#cillian murphy fanfiction#cillian murphy fic#peaky blinder fanfic#peaky blinders x you#peaky blinders x y/n
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sometimes i forget the batkids are just a bunch of theatre kids which makes it funnier when u remember that gotham's entire justice system is run by a bunch of costumed role players
edit: wtf i didnt expect this to gain sm traction, but check out this post. pls dont let it flop
#u best believe these losers have memorised every song from mammma mia#imagine explaining to ur penpal the absolute cesspool that is gotham and when they ask about what the police does#and you have to say#oh ! those fuckers dont do anything we have costumed freaks#that are dressed up as different animals and zipline across the horizon and beatup other costumed freaks!#fucking crazy#bruce wayne#batman#batfam#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#cassandra cain#black bat#tim drake#red robin#damian wayne#robin#duke thomas#signal#stephanie brown#spoiler#barbara gordon#oracle
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God fucking damn it I don’t want to live in America. I’m so angry. I am so so angry. What the actual FUCK. If you’re happy about this literally fuck right off.
#fucking hate SCOTUS#fuck you trump#fuck you ACB#fuck you thomas#fuck you alito#fuck you kavanaugh#fuck you gorsuch
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"We need more characters who are super traumatized and have realistic coping mechanisms but are still fun and kind!"You guys can't even handle a traumatized character having anger issues and being an asshole sometimes without erasing all that to make them into a soft uwu ray of sunshine who's never mean to anyone
#THE WAY THIS IS A FANDOMS WIDE TROPE.AS SOMEONE WITH SEVERE TRAUMA THAT FUCKING SHOWS BUT IS STILL GOOFY AND TRIES THEIR BEST TO STAY KIND#Y'ALL MFS ARE SO FULL OF SHIT YOU DON'T WANT TRAUMA SURVIVORS YOU WANT MANIC PIXIE DREAM PEOPLE#percy jackson#dick grayson#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#duke thomas#yang xiao long#zuko#ty lee#finn mertens#zagreus#adora#pjo#hoo#koriand'r#batfam#teen titans#dc#rwby#💛🎮🌻🍫#atla geekery#adventure time#hades game#she ra#ableism#trauma llama#letters from summer
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I just watched an interview where Tom Cruise calls psychiatry “pseudoscience” and tries to say antidepressants are awful and don’t actually work and anyway I just want a conversation with this man bc lmaoooo
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Damian doesn't know who Santa Claus is and Danny tries to gaslight him into believing in Santa
Okay but, like, wouldn't even be gaslighting! Santa canonically does exist in the DC universe, I think I remember reading something about him fighting through an army in hell to give Darkseid a single piece of coal once?
So like, Danny doesn't have to gaslight Damian into believing Santa's real, he just has to pull out the proof (Danny has a binder of everything he knows about the Spirit of Christmas for the purpose of when he eventually goes to war with him, Danny hates Christmas so fucking much haha) and show him evidence that Santa is real.
Probably ranting the entire time about how much he hates the guy & Christmas and it's obvious that this is Danny's arch nemesis. His one true villain above all others. Pariah Dark? A nuisance. Dark Dan? Just a tuesday. Santa? That motherfucker is the bane of Danny's existence and he will pay for what he's done (spread Christmas cheer).
And Danny's the newest member to the family. Damian's been encouraged to get to know his new brother and try and bond with him a bit, make him feel like part of the family. So, obviously, the best way to do that is to help Danny in his quest for vengeance.
And of course Tim & Jason end of getting roped in on this. Damian's grown since he's first came to live with his father. He still is a little brat to his older brothers - he's the baby of the family it's his right - but he doesn't actively hate them anymore and can admit when their particular skills would be useful. Tim is the best at strategizing, and Jason is a combat master with access to all sorts of weapons. With all of them working together Santa has no chance, they will destroy him.
Which all just makes me think of something like this happening lol:
“What…uh, what are they doing?” Duke glanced between the chaos unfolding in the family room to where Dick was calmly seated in his favorite chair, sipping idly at a cup of coffee.
“Sibling bonding.” Dick said. There was that specific aura of calm around him that said that he’d already gone through several crisis and all the stages of grief at least twice. Considering the calamity and chaos the eldest batkid had seen over the years - and especially the last few months since Bruce officially adopted Danny and brought him into the fold - it was a bad sign that he’d reached this particular state of Done (TM) before noon. The earliest Dick even woke up was two in the afternoon.
Duke contemplated turning around right then and there - the particular combination of people all excitedly feeding off each other’s feral energy on the other side of the room was a catastrophe in the making he didn’t want to be anywhere near when it finally breached containment and spilled out into the wider world - but unfortunately he was cursed with the curiosity that afflicted all members of the bat clan.
“It looks like they’re plotting to try and kill Santa Claus.”
Dick turned to look at Duke fully for the first time since he’d entered the room. He had the eyes of one that was deeply haunted by the horrors they had witnessed. On the other side of the room Tim was ranting about anti-magic tech while Danny, Damian and Jason argued over what weapons would be most effective against a demi god. There were schematics of what looked worryingly like a rocket launcher looking device that - if the scribbles on the whiteboard someone had drug into the room where to be believed - was going to be rigged to shoot ecto-grenades.
“Danny hates Christmas.” Dick said, and Duke noticed for the first time that his hands around the coffee cup were faintly trembling. “He’s declared Santa is his arch nemesis.”
Duke blinked, glancing over to the others long enough to see Danny start frantically scribbling the words Christmas Nuke on the whiteboard. No one else was trying to erase it. Tim looked worriedly contemplative. Damian and Jason where both nodding in agreement.
He was going to regret this. “But Santa isn’t real?”
Dick’s eyes gained a faintly manic glean, and Duke could faintly hear the sound of porcelain creaking warningly beneath the desperate hold he had on his coffee cup. “That’s what I thought!” Dick said, with enough cheer to make Duke flinch back instinctively. “But apparently he is.” A distinct crack appeared in the cup, coffee dripping down into Dick’s lap. “And apparently they’re going to war with him!”
Well, Duke considered, at least that explained why he caught the four of them burning down the giant Christmas tree in the city center last night.
#spaced asks and ace answers#dc x dp prompt#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc#danny phantom#danny fenton#batman#damian wayne#tim drake#jason todd#duke thomas#dick grayson#batpham#batfam#danny hates christmas so fucking much#you know he's on the naughty list just for his various assasination attempts on santa's life#Bruce didn't know this kid was a half ghost god-king of an entire infinite dimension of death he just saw a sad kid in a bad situation#it wouldn't have changed anything if he'd known Danny had adoption bait written all over him#but he at least would have been able to better prepare for the kind of supernatural shenanigans that would pop up#Duke took one look at 4 of his brothers standing around a burning christmas tree at 3 in the morning holding gas cans & lighters & thought:#not my circus not my monkeys#he was the day shift vigilante he didn't get paid to deal with his family's shit in the middle of the night#he didn't get paid *period* he wasn't going to do volunteer chaos gremlin wrangling#Dick just wanted *one* day of relative quiet#he should have known that wasn't going to happen
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The bat teens make a pact that all of them should Damian out on the weekends for enrichment (normal child fun).
Duke takes him to a movie, and they end up hopping theatres to see a couple. They see a superhero movie and riff on the whole thing (Duke riffs, Damian mostly complains about accuracy). They also watch a surprisingly good kids movie Damian refuses to admit he likes. Duke peer pressures Damian into trying various movie snacks (popcorn is okay, hotdogs are appalling, junior mints are the best candy). They feel sick by the end of the day because they forgot to eat actual food. They win a shitty Batman plush from the claw machine before they leave.
Steph takes him to a shitty arcade super funplex. It is run down and kinda terrifying and mostly occupied by old people gambling and is definitely a front. Steph has been coming here since she was 4. She shows Damian how to get the highest score in skeeball (climb up on top of it and put balls directly in the highest score hole until it runs out of tickets). They run the place out of pizza and spend at least 45 minutes trying to throw candy into all the animatronics mouths. They spend their tickets on a cryptic bootleg Pokemon cartridge and the scariest looking pink bear imaginable. Damian puts it next to Duke's batman.
Tim takes him to the skate park. He really wants to teach Dami how to skateboard, Damian brings his rollerblades. Damian thinks tricks are stupid and juvenile, until he sees someone do a flip off the bowl. He insists he NEEDS to know how to do that. It takes literally all day because Tim has to figure out how to do it first, they come home extremely bruised but satisfied.
Cass takes him to the mall. Steph showed her the wonders of the mall and she's never looked back. They spend hours ambling through target, Cass drags Damian through the toy section (that he really wanted to go to) and makes him buy something. They both get crazy nurf guns to get the others with. They get starbucks and cinnamon buns (don't tell Alfred). They go spend 40 minutes in a candle store and decide they've seen better. They buy jewelry and honey and bits and bobs from local stands. They win a plush pikachu in a claw machine (goes next to the others, obviously).
#narscreaming#dc comics#batman#batfam#batfamily#damian wayne#damian al ghul#duke thomas#stephanie brown#tim drake#cass cain#cassandra cain#not tagging their supersonas fuck you
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