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ferinehuntressmoved · 7 months

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[ M ] OTHER'S ABUSE .

Ambessa was not kind to Mel, and this stems from the fact that Noxian is not kind to most of their people. They make them battle-hardened, ready for war, and softness must be bleed dry from any bleeding heart.

Many times in her trials and training of Mel, she was mentally abusive at times to her daughter. This was an attempt to mold her, in ways to fortify her mind against the hardships of ruling Noxus and holding herself away from the heart on her shoulder. She would harden her words, berate Mel's mind, and ridicule her standards many times over. If Mel could not learn to cope with these actions, she would never survive in Noxus. She never stopped the bullying and ridicule from other kids against her daughter; including the insults of her beauty (because in Noxus, beauty was a sign of weakness) and often allowed for Hazing and harassment to continue. Ambessa at times could be threatening and intimidating as well, harshly criticizing Mel in her form or her style. Mel did not conform to the standards of a Noxian soldier and warmonger and Ambessa often reminded her that she was a Medarda and therefore needed to wield the weapon of the Medarda name and hold herself to a standard of a wolf (Where Mel often took on traits of a fox and a panther).

This is why Mel constantly strives so hard to prove herself to her mother and why she 'wants to be enough' because of this constant criticizing talking down upon, and the threats of abandonment (only for it to finally happen when she was outcasted) made Mel both resentful but also still wanting to prove herself.

However, Ambessa was also physically abusive to Mel as well, once again in the fact that Noxian training and the brutality of the nation were more important than the comfort of a child. Ambessa would often hit Mel if she caught her not using the right technique or if she was doing something wrong. If there was a moment in a fight where blood was drawn, Ambessa would grab Mel's hands and force them into the blood, reminding her that Mel could not be squirmish around blood, violence, and gore. That she had to face it as in battle it would be everywhere. Ambessa was not a tender mother, she was a battle-harden warmonger and worked to train her daughter in the same method her mother taught Ambessa.

All of this has led to Mel keeping many people at bay. The effects of this abuse have left a scar on Mel that can't be seen. She often struggles at night to sleep, because she still sees nightmares of not just the Ionian princess being killed in front of her, but her mother forcing the girl's blood all over her hands and knees, or when she would be punished for doing her best because it wasn't the Medarda standards. She often struggles in private with whether or not she is doing the right thing and often feels unwanted and unloved despite all she is trying to do for Piltover. Despite this and more, Mel has learned how to mask her struggles to appear as a completely normal and healthy woman with the prowess of a queen. Deep down, though, she still feels the stress and fear, doubting herself and struggling to sleep. She struggles with self-esteem despite having plenty of confidence and often wonders if she will ever be good enough for anyone or anything.

#— mel headcanons.#cw: abuse #cw: physical abuse #cw: mental abuse

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becomingvecna · 5 months

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#my writing

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explodingsaturn · 1 year

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maybe i should just stop talking. i want all of my secrets back.

#cw #tw #tw selfhate #tw self destructive thoughts #self h@te #self h@rm #ed bllog #actually ptsd #actually cptsd #actually traumatized #actually mentally ill #trauma #trauma vent #tw abuse

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lostmf · 3 months

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By @desnos

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neuroticboyfriend · 10 months

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i know us schizos can be relatively lax about the word schizo... but for people who aren't on the schizophrenia spectrum, please remember... it is a slur, or at the very least, a derogatory term. maybe don't say it (unless we're okay with you calling us it), especially not to separate yourselves from us.

context: i just saw someone say "i'm not a fucking schizo" when talking about their misdiagnosis and resulting trauma. this could have been done without using a slur, especially given how much we also face misdiagnosis and medical/psychiatric trauma. we're in this together, not apart.

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swollenbabyfat · 9 months

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In the depths

#failgirl fluttershy #comics #storytelling #abuse #mental health #self harm cw #sh cw #abuse cw

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catgirl-kaiju · 2 years

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Parents will give you so much trauma and then deny it ever happened and refuse to talk about it, like a 5 year old getting caught smashing a vase only the vase was your brain

#scout's brain #trauma #mental health #cw childhood trauma #child abuse

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the-bar-sinister · 1 month

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What the hell is wrong with Kristoph Gavin?? (headcanons)

cptsd and potential bpd due to neglect, abuse and parentification by his parents

tyrannical, angry famous defense attorney father, dismissive, neglectful socialite mother

neglected as a young child and raised himself as an early reader. Straight As and "a joy to have in class. always polite"

Polite due to terror of setting off his father's temper, well spoken due to voracious reading as escapism.

learned to manipulate people without asking directly for what he wants in order to get any kind of positive attention from his father or mother

parentified and put in charge of raising Klavier as soon as Klavier arrived.

golden child/scapegoat dynamic enforced by their parents which Kristoph hates. Tried unsuccessfully to protect Klavier from their parents' anger– by always pushing Klavier to do better to measure up to their expectations.

Constant attention seeking due to neglect as a child.

Obsessed with keeping up appearances due to the fear as soon as people have a negative perception of you they'll leave or destroy you.

"the law is absolute" in that if you don't get caught, you haven't broken the law. Constantly had to evade and manipulate and loophole his father's tyrannical rules in order to avoid being punished for minor and abusive reasons.

#kristoph gavin #klavier gavin #gavin brothers #ace attorney #ace attorney headcanon #headcanon #cw child abuse #character analysis #mental illness headcanon #ace attorney whump #💻🔪

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nightmareentertainment · 2 years

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He's a ten but he has been lying to you about which college he wants to go to because he's terrified that being away from him will force you to give up your dreams, because that's what happened to his parents and they ended up in a horrible abusive situation. He cares so much about you that he's scared of being honest with you, and has dug a deeper hole because he's scared of you being mad at him too.

He's a ten but he's been forced to co-parent since his parents divorce and now has a terrible sense of self worth

He's a ten but he once clocked a guy for suggesting he was like his father / that his family was full of screwups

He's a ten but he smokes weed

He's a ten but he had to coffin shop for his little brother when he was sixteen

He's a ten but he's scared of leaving his family, since that's what his father did

He's a ten but he checked his father's trunk first for his missing brother

#hes a ten #this is about jonathan #i post maybe three posts a day and dissapear for a few days and its always me rambling about stranger things #its the mental illnesses dawg #stranger things #jonathan byers #stranger things 4 #will byers #joyce byers #lonnie byers #cw implied abuse #jancy #implied jancy

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iamgodsoopsie · 5 months

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Astarion Headcanons (that you probably won't like) Pt. 1:

Part 2 link

BG3 does an excellent job at depicting SA trauma and the beginning of the healing process/journey. Many of the headcanons I've seen floating around (intentionally or unintentionally) gloss over the uglier side of healing from (prolonged) trauma. I'm not judging anyone for magically healing him, he's fictional after all, but I'd like to make some more ...realistic... headcanons.

Disclaimer: Everyone's healing process looks different, but they tend share commonalities. These headcanons are based on my own experiences. Not everyone who is healing from their trauma will experience what I have or have experienced it like I have.

[Please don't message me with explicit details about your trauma. I am at the point in my healing journey where I can share my experiences, and commiserate with other's similar experiences, but I am unable to support others in a more personal manner at this time. I wish you the best of luck in your healing process/ journey.]

Spoiler warning

Mental illness, SA, & DV Trigger Warnings

These headcanons are based on an Astarion who is still a spawn and romantically involved with a Tav who honestly loves him and isn't abusive or manipulative. Also Cazador is dead and Astarion got to stab him. They also assume that he himself does not turn into Cazador 2.0 or Wish.com Cazador.

He needs a LOT of love and patience. Which, frankly, many people don't have.

He's messy af. If "Damn bitch, you live like this?" was a person it'd be him. C-PTSD is a hell of a drug. I think he wants to be more organized and clean than he is, it's just going to be a looong process for his inside appearance to match his outside appearance. (His appearance may stay mostly the same or drastically change).

---Don't believe me? Just look at the outside of his tent: it's mostly organized and sophisticated, but the inside is messy and he sleeps on a plank of wood with a threadbare stained blanket.

He'll struggle with control issues rooted in his anxiety until he finds a way to channel that energy in to something productive and/or healthy.

---He'll veer between controlling micromanager (aggressive) and door mat (people pleasing/ passive) until he finds his (assertive) middle ground.

Anger issues ahoy! He went through "200 years of shit. PURE SHIT!" and had to dissociate/repress his feelings to 'survive'.

---Stabbing Cazador was cathartic, but it only released the surface level of his repressed rage.

-----An interesting line from the game that I haven't seen enough people talk about: When you tell Astarion to keep his cool when Cazador is goading him, Cazador scoffs and sarcastically asks Tav if they've witnessed his "fits of rage". (Of course a "fit of rage" to Cazador is probably Astaion having a slight frown when Cazador wants him to smile and be a pretty toy to show off.)

He will try to push you away and 'test' you to see if you stay consistent in respecting him and his boundaries. He needs to make sure you don't turn into a Cazador when you two are in an argument. He needs to be sure that his "No" is respected when in a steamy moment after a dry spell.

---This probably won't be as intense as it otherwise would've been because of what you two went through together, but he'll still do it.

-----He probably doesn't realize what he's doing, and when he does he'll shame spiral.

I hope you are prepared to patiently give lots of reassurance and affirmation about the same things over and over again.

---It'll sometimes seem as though he is seeking permission, but if you ever act as though you are giving him permission instead of affirmation/ reassurance he will become very defensive.

He's indecisive but unwilling to listen to your input.

---He went from 200 years of having no control or ability to make his own decisions to suddenly being free, he's going to feel overwhelmed.

-----He'll eventually realize that you have his best interest at heart and that you are not telling him what to do, you're offering suggestions to help him make an informed decision.

There's so much more but I'm tired. He'll eventually heal and live a happy and healthy life, but it'll be a bumpy road to get there.

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necros-writing-stuff · 3 months

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LAST ONE. I PROMISE. Eden and PCs relationship is very...heavy. It's very sexual, it's very ownership-type-beat. Now obviously we know from Vrel that all the LIs would be at least decent parents. But man. That's a small cabin, and with children around the dynamic between PC and Eden has to take a HEAVY change to be sustainable and not y'know...fuck up the kids mentally, forever. (And I personally doubt Eden, given who and how he is, would want a life like PC has and relationship like PC has, for his daughters.) So what do you think would be the biggest changes Eden would go through when kids started popping up around the house? What about when these kids become teens? Especially sons who start to challenge his rule of the "domain"? He's obviously very invested in the "what is his is his" mentality, and I worry that he would (maybe not outright and directly) feel like even his own children intrude on his domain, routine and relationship?

Disagreements between the two of you becomes a thing that happens behind closed doors - or on days when it's bad, hidden poorly under passive aggressiveness.

Sex between the two of you becomes a commodity to snatch at whenever there's a moments peace - a chance to feel that bond reaffirmed for Eden. He doesn't really care what it is for you. He never will, no matter how much he loves you.

His girls? Well, there's nothing that they can't do! They can be just like their brothers! No difference, not to Eden. Mommy is special, Mommy likes living this way - you all have to be like Daddy though. It's safest to be like Daddy. If you can't be like him, you should live with a sibling when you're older so they can keep you safe.

The ones who start biting back? Eden learns over the years how to create fear. He learns how to create boogeymen that keep the kids from questioning things. Learns what to introduce them to and promise its real. Like a cult. Of course, some start wanting to go. To find out what the world is like - but they were never raised for it. They'll come crawling back to open arms when they realise that no one out there has use for a tanner, a hunter, who can't even use a computer.

The family will keep them safe, and happy.

#spill your guts #alwaysdrinkenoughwater #eden the hunter #female reader #cw mental abuse #cw noncon mention

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youraverageventblog · 10 months

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I wanna go home, but my house hasn’t felt homely since I was 6. Whenever I step in there, I no longer feel real. I need the blood to ground me, or I’ll lose my mind.

#tw depressing thoughts #bpd vent #self h@rm #self mutalition #tw vent #vent blog #actually bpd #bpd #cw depression #s3lf mutilation #tw self loathing #tw abuse #tw dissociation #dissociation #im not mentally stable #mentally fucked #tw addiction #addiction

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dyspunktional-revan · 6 months

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A narc abuse believer has reblogged from me so here's your Fucking reminder that no disorder is an abuser disorder. Your abuser(s) did/do not abuse you because they have an Abuser Disorder, they abuse(d) you because they believe(d) in their right to control you and had the means. And no, no disorder fucking creates that.

To abuse is a choice, and it's a carefully protected bolt in all the larger systems of oppression. To have a disability born out of being abused, that fucks You up, is not a fucking choice. And is certainly not a fucking protected bolt in the larger systems of oppression, rather the fucking opposite.

Yes, people with Any disorder Can choose to abuse. As well as people without that disorder! And people with that disorder are not fucking More Likely to abuse! And don't fucking armchair diagnose other people!

And the fucking case of parental abuse. You were not "raised by narcissists", you were raised by people whose literal societal role is to abuse you. Which Very Much does not absolve them. Parents are cops, and more. Read up on youth liberation and stop throwing *other survivors* into the fucking meat grinder.

And the fucking nerve to put anti-narc shit into the *npd* tags. You know well it's a Disorder, not an Abuser Personality Type that the abuser Chooses, and still demonize us.

#leviathan.txt #leviathan yells at folkel #leviathan argues #ableism #saneism #diagonal ableism #blame shifting #anti-npd ableism/saneism #npd #narcissistic personality disorder #abuse #swearing cw #disability posting #disabled community #mental illness #personality disorder #abuse survivor #cluster b

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bookishbrewer · 1 month

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⚠️ CW: Suicide, Toxic relationships, depression, mention of self-harm

Why I believe that House's story ends with tragedy post season 8 - an opinion piece:

Hello everyone, this is a remake of a post I did a couple years ago on an older blog. If you find it familiar, I'm sorry if this one is a bit messier than the original. It's been longer since my last rewatch.

So, let's recap the finale of House MD: Treating a drug addict patient results in House examining his life, his future and confronting his own personal demons.

As we know, House ends up faking his death in this episode, after going on a 2 day drug fuelled bender with his drug addicted patient. The patient ends up overdosing & dying, and House remains to confront his 8 seasons worth of demons. At the end he escapes the firery scene & fakes his death by switching his medical records. After all of that, he runs away with Wilson to spend his remaining 5 months to live.

Before House replies to what Wilson is saying, he thinks for a moment. I want try & piece together what was going through his head at that moment evaluating his life:

1. Every romantic relationship with House ends in heartbreak

Stacy

Season 2, Episode 11

Cameron

Season 3, Episode 8

Lydia

Season 5, Episode 23-24

Cuddy

Season 5, Episode 6 // Season 7, Episode 23

Dominika

Season 8, Episode 13 // Season 8, Episode 18

Every single one of these relationship was ended because House either deliberately behaved in a way that would push the love interest away or by breaking their trust. House was never actively malicious towards his partners, but he was not a very good partner. He was self centered, self loathing, very much focused on himself (even when trying to be as supportive & caring as possible) but at the end of every relationship, the women understood that they could not remain in a Healthy relationship with House. Either because he refused to tackle his addiction, his psychological distress & trauma or be honest with them and respect them as equal to him in their relationship.

2. House's relationship with his family

House was severely abused by his father, a military man, both physically & emotionally. His mother did not protect him from said abuse (probably because of feeling deeply guilty about her affair that gave birth to Gregory), which lead to him growing in an abusive houshold that was built on lies, dysfunction & distance (which partially explains his behavior in the show, especially his approach to human nature: "Everybody Lies"). House was never really close with his parents, so it would make sense that he would not rely on them for support in any way, not even in a life or death situation such as him feeling at his lowest in every aspect of his life. In addition to that, he may even doubt how much his loss would effect his parents if something were to happen to him.

3. House's suicidal ideation

House is shown numerous times in the show to not reject the option of ending his life. He actively tries to commit suicide twice during the show (Merry Little Christmas, season 3 episode 11 // Simple Explanation, season 5 episode 20), ponders it in the season finale (Everybody Dies, season 8 episode 22) but decides against it, choosing to fake his death instead.

In addition to that, he also indulges in self-harm in the form of cutting himself (also "Merry Little Christmas" & "Nobody's Fault"), intentionally hurting his limbs (leg - "Under My Skin", hand - "After Hours").

Like Wilson said, House cannot go back from that decision (similarly to how you can never come back from suicide). He can never have access his addictions: puzzles (medicine) & escapism (Vicodin & other drugs). We know how House gets without his meds, he becomes... A shadow of himself. Sometimes it's a violent dark figure, sometimes it's an apathetic & silent husk, sometimes it's a dark creature screaming in agony, sometimes it's just House, but something is off. Without constant puzzles, dissecting human nature & feeding his ego & emotional needs, he's lost.

Unlike other characters, like Dexter Morgan from the Showtime series "Dexter" House never treats suicide like it is somehow "beneath him":

Dexter speaks to Sg. Doakes, Season 2 Episode 11

Compare & contrast that to House's reaction to Taub pleading with House to try & understand Wilson's decision to discontinue his cancer treatment & to die with dignity:

Season 8, Episode 21

Just the thought of Wilson passing away before his time triggers House's suicidal thoughts. He disregards the patients & visitors in the background, the colleagues that may hear, Taub himself, everyone. This, in my opinion was the start of the "nothing else matters anymore" mindset. House was already at the end of his rope, and losing the person he loves more than anything else in the world was just... Too much.

4. House doesn't see a future without Wilson

In season 6, Episode 10, House refuses to be present during Wilson's surgery at first:

Wilson: I want you to be there

House, after thinking: No.

Wilson: Why?

House: Because if you die, I'm alone.

House cannot fathom the possibility of witnessing Wilson die. He cannot even consider for a moment to stand before Wilson's lifeless body & realizing that this is it, he is completely & utterly alone in this world.

We see multiple times that House not only cares deeply about Wilson, he is also dependant on him, to the point of the relationship often becoming toxic for both of them (hurting other relationships, sabotaging new ones, need for validation of both the relationship itself & both of them of each other individually, indulging unhealthy behaviors towards others etc).

But we all remember how that situation concluded:

House watching over Wilson as a big bright light washes over him as he loses consciousness. To me, this seems like foreshadowing for what's to come after the season finale, after those last 5 months.

Another thing that caught my eye was him stating "I can live without Kyle" (season 8, episode 20) when referring to a guy that stole Wilson's prom date when he was in highschool. He wanted to immitate said 'Kyle' for the entire episode, trying his best to act uncaring, aloof, "alpha". Essentially, to act out of character. But numerous times in said episode, Wilson still displayed the very same characteristics that both House and the audience love so much about him. So House affirms that he cannot live in a world without Wilson, just the way he is.

5. House is willing to preform a "mercy kill" for his close friends

In the episode "The Dig" (Season 7, Episode 18), House assures Thirteen, who's diagnosed with Huntington's, that he is willing to euthanize her when her Huntington symptoms worsen (this happens after Thirteen confides in House, telling him about how she killed her own brother after his Huntington symptoms worsened. House's reaction left Thirteen shocked, hurt & disappointed, as it seemed like he did not care at all. But we know he did, very deeply).

House gets a positive reaction from Thirteen, which is later also approved to the audience & the people in House's funeral when she states in her eulogy: "He was willing to kill me". Wilson, as we know, is also in the audience. He then knows that House is willing to preform a "mercy kill" on a loved one. He also mentions it in the finale:

Wilson: When the cancer starts getting really bad-

House, putting a halmet on: Cancer's boring.

I want us to return to the "I'm dead, Wilson" scene:

House is at a point in which he feels like he has nothing left to lose. He has no close friends that give him meaning besides Wilson, no family to rely on, no romantic relationship seems to last, he feels powerless when it comes to his addiction to drugs, he is facing jail time after accidently breaking an MRI machine with Foreman's ticket gift which he flushed down the hospital's toilet (which may as well cause him to be fired & lose his job and/or license to practice medicine, in addition to the fact he faked his own death).

We already know that House is prone to depression, self harm & suicidal ideation (including attempts), we've covered that he is willing to end a loved ones life if there is no medical solution to their health related state, we know that Wilson is not (to our knowledge up to the last episode) willing to go through any other treatment & we know that House cannot live without Wilson.

Adding all of this up & remembering the foreshadowing of Wilson's health related issue & House's course of action (watching over him as a bright light covers the screen as he loses consciousness) I believe that after those 5 months, when the cancer gets really bad, House will take Wilson's life... And then, his own.

This is essentially the end of the post, but I would like to add a few things:

Disclaimer: this post is not meant in any way to promote, encourage or agree with anything that supports one taking their own life, self harming or any other kind of self inflicted damage. This is just a theory based on how I've precieved House's character.

I am considering writing a short fic based on this post, and would like to know if anyone is interested in reading it.

Thank you very much for reading, have a good day 🙏🏼

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bonefall · 6 months

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I can't see how the writers still think Skystar's a good person. Like, twelve year old me liked him and thought he was interesting, but I was like twelve. And even I knew he was an irredeemable asshole after Moth Flight's Vision. If a twelve year old can figure this stuff out I have no idea what these grown ass writers were doing.

DOTC has a thesis, stated in The First Battle, that really explains everything.

"Fear and Greed" is just a fake-deep way to reinvent a Good and Evil dichotomy. Because Clear Sky's abuse comes from a place of fear, it means it's not malicious, unlike a "greedy" cat.

He can be "soothed," ergo, he's a fundamentally good person.

Post-First Battle, the books are focusing constantly on his feelings, how sad it makes him to not be trusted, how happy he is when people are on his side. All while he continues to screech at people who tell him what to do, manipulate and mistreat his son, and even still beats and mauls those who offend him.

But because it's "fear," that doesn't matter. That's a justification, an excuse. The writers don't seem to believe in good and bad actions as much as they do good and bad people. True 'evil' comes from a person who hurts others for the wrong reasons, like 'revenge' or malice.

It's abuse apologia. Plain and simple.

The truth is that abusers don't think of themselves as evil people, and everyone, even you and me, is capable of being toxic or abusive. Talk to those who have been abused and we'll tell you; we often stayed because we "saw the good," or even felt responsible for them. Abuse can be passed down through generations because the kids come to believe the way they were treated was normal and okay.

If you go through life thinking that abuse only comes from evil/greedy people, you won't see it when it happens right in front of you. Fundamental good and evil is childish. Abuse comes from fear all the time.

Abuse is about power and control. Fear of rejection, of losing someone, of pain, those are all very common motivators as the abuser tries to stop them from happening before they even begin. It doesn't MATTER that your abuser is in pain too, you NEVER "deserved" what they did in an attempt to break your legs so you wouldn't run.

But... we can all change. Even the worst of us. It's never too late to stop hurting others, move on to a better life, but some people never will. Skystar loves his power, and he keeps that power no matter how many times he misuses it.

He has no reason to change as long as his cruelty rewards him with status and authority.

But the writers are incapable of recognizing that, because for this entire arc, they were stuck in an absurd view of the world in terms of Fear and Greed. Abuse can be excused if he did it for the "right reason," and that makes him "fundamentally different" from the truly evil villains, Slash and One Eye.

Hopefully, it now makes more sense to you.

#I am completely sincere when I say that I am legitimately concerned for the mental health of these writers sometimes #It's a lot of words to say. Again. That evil is really really simple.#It feels good to get what you want.#Power gets you what you want-- Security. Assurance. Respect.#Everyone wants these things.#It's not about having a twisted and sadistic soul #I'm sure those exist out there. But they're so so rare #And you will get hurt if you need to believe that the only person it's okay to leave or distrust or hate is a literal monster #You can leave anyone who tries to control and hurt you actually!!#Even if they're in emotional pain and insist that they NEED YOU #You didn't deserve it! You never did! It's okay! They didn't need to be a monster. And you're not one for leaving either.#Or resenting them. Or recognizing that they can't be trusted.#Of course... well. Clear Sky DOES act like a monster in this text.#Gouging out people's eyes and slaughtering innocent women #But most of the time irl your abuser didn't like. Kill someone lmao #At some point the metaphor breaks down #BUT!!!#cw abuse #dotc hate #Clear Sky #Skystar #Anyway casting spell of I Love You on every abuse survivor who feels a connection here #bone babble

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