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morganski-19 · 3 days

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The One with the Trifle Pt 1

Pretend it’s Thanksgiving please and thank you. Flashback to Eddie’s first Thanksgiving after moving to the city. (If you’re a friends fan or know this episode, this will only be about the trifle bit and not the secret revealing section at the end of the episode. That will be coming at another time.)

Robin is standing in the kitchen with a large glass container in front of her. She’s carefully reading the instructions of a cookbook, pulling out ingredients as she goes. Steve comes out of the bathroom and walks over to the kitchen.

“Are you sure you got the dessert this year? We both know what happened last Christmas,” he asks, again. For the third time.

Robin rolls her eyes. “That was a fluke. I think I really got it this time. And, nothing is going in the oven, just stove top.”

“You say that like it makes it better. I’ve seen you burn water before.”

“No, that was dry pasta that I forgot to add the right amount of water to, so it dried up and then burned. But that was years ago. Now I know how to use the stovetop.”

Steve sighs. “If you need anything, I mean anything, I’ll be right across the hall helping Nancy with the rest of the food. No question is too stupid to ask me.”

“We both know that is a lie.”

“What are you making anyway?” Steve leans over the counter to see the cookbook.

Robin picks it up to show him. “It’s a trifle, from this old British cookbook I found at the thrift store. Cute, right.”

“Yeah, if you don’t fuck it up.”

Robin smacks him with the book. “Out, out. Go help Nancy and stop making fun of me.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop making fun of you, but whatever.” Steve walks across the hall to Nancy’s apartment. She’s in the kitchen basting the turkey while Eddie, Argyle, and Jonathan are sitting on the couch watching the parade.

“Steve, thank God. I needed someone who,” she turns her head to the living room, “actually knows what they’re doing.” She stares at the back of Eddie’s head.

Eddie makes a large gesture. “I didn’t know it was possible to fuck up cutting green beans.”

“It is when you cut them like this.” Nancy holds up a green bean sliced down the middle lengthways.

Steve winces. “How the hell did you think this is how you cut green beans.”

Eddie stands up. “That’s it. I’m going to hang out with Robin, at least she won’t make fun of me.”

“You sure about that,” Argyle snorts.

“She is just as bad as cooking as Eddie apparently is, it’s honestly fifty-fifty with how this goes.” Steve starts to peel the bowl of potatoes.

Eddie gives them the finger before shutting the door.

“Speaking of,” Jonathan turns to face the kitchen, “Do we have a backup dessert for when Robin eventually ends up burning hers?”

Nancy gives Steve a death glare. “Do you want to explain or should I?”

Steve sighs. “I had parent teacher conferences yesterday and didn’t have time to bake anything.”

“Because.”

Another sigh. “Because I went on a date with this girl I’ve been talking to for a few weeks.”

Argyle stiffens, having gotten close to Eddie in the past few months. Knowing how he feels about Steve. “I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.”

Steve shrugs. “It’s not that serious to be honest. We’ve only been on the one date.”

“And now we will end up eating whatever Robin ends up burning because someone couldn’t push it off until next week.” Nancy angrily jabs at the bread she is cutting.

“Woah, Nance, take a deep breath. Your parents aren’t coming this year, it’s just us. There’s nothing to stress about.” Steve stops peeling the potatoes to try and rub her shoulder, only to get his hand swatted away.

“Yeah,” Argyle agrees. “I’ve eaten plenty of Robin’s burnt cookies, and I’m still here. Some of them were pretty good actually.”

Steve gets a text from Robin.

Robin: Quick questions, how do I tell if the butter is browned

Robin sends an image

Steve: About five minutes before it looks like that

Robin: Shit

A while later, Steve is watching the stove while Nancy takes a break on the couch. Eddie opens the door, barely poking his head through before calling Steve into the hall. He calls Nancy back into the kitchen before heading out into the hall with Eddie.

“So,” Eddie draws out as Steve closes the door. “We have a bit of a problem.”

“Oh God, what did she do?”

“There’s beef involved.”

Steve’s eyes bug out. “What? Beef? How, I thought she was making a trifle.”

“She mostly is,” Eddie says. “Just this cookbook is the weirdest one ever where the recipes are mixed in with each other instead of in their own sections. And it’s an old book, and some of the pages were stuck together. So, turn the page to get to the rest of the recipe, and it’s a recipe for shepherd’s pie.”

Steve makes a horrified face. “Nancy is going to kill me. Like straight up murder. I will be dead tomorrow.”

“Why? Robin’s the one making the dessert. Shouldn’t she be the dead one.”

“That’s the thing. I always have a backup dessert. It’s a little game we play each year. Robin wants to try to bake again but leaves it in a little too long and it gets burnt. Or accidently adds salt instead of sugar. Or thinks she knows better than the recipe and adds too much flour. So, then I come in with another dessert for the people who don’t like to eat burnt cake. She isn’t the best at cooking, or baking, but she tries, and it brings her so much joy, so we let her do it and eat the dessert. But then mine is like the palate cleanser. Except this year there isn’t a palate cleanser and we’re going to eat a trifle with beef in it.” Steve takes in a deep breath, trying not to hyperventilate.

Eddie nods, trying to process everything. “That’s kind of sweet that you guys eat messed up baked goods just to make her happy.”

“Yeah well, it’s Robin. No one really likes to make her upset. Which she will be if we let her know that this is a major fuck up.”

“So we’re going to eat the beef dessert thing. There’s fruit and custard involved.” Eddie makes a disgusted face.

Steve gags at the thought. “Yeah, yep, yes. We are. I’m going to do damage control, you keep her happy. And if the pages become unstuck before the beef gets added, no one will be mad at you for interfering.”

“It’s already been done. There is no stopping it.”

“Alright then. I’m going to go get murdered, it’s been nice knowing you.”

Eddie nods before going back into Robin’s apartment. Steve takes a deep breath before walking back into the apartment.

“What did Eddie want?” Nancy asks.

“Nothing that important, Jon can I talk to you for a second.” Steve rushes past Nancy and pulls Jonathan into Eddie’s room. “We have a problem.”

Jonathan adjusts his shirt. “One that you had to physically pull me into a bedroom for.”

“Yes. Robin mixed up two recipes and now there’s beef in an English Trifle.” Steve makes a face like he’s bracing for impact.

Jonathan stands there silent for a few seconds, blinking. “It was nice knowing you.” He pats Steve on the shoulder.

Steve rolls his eyes. “I am already very aware of the fact that I am dead, but we do in fact have to eat the beef trifle.”

“No we don’t,” Jonathan says with disbelief.

“It’s Robin,” Steve shrugs. “We have to.”

Jonathan nods, pained. “We do. Remind me to get super high before dessert comes out, it will help it all go down. Hell, I might like it.”

“You mind telling Argyle about this, I have to go tell Nancy.”

“I’ll go guard the knives. Good luck.”

Steve and Jonathan leave the room. Jonathan going over to Argyle and whispering something in his ear, Argyle seeming indifferent to the news. Steve takes a deep breath before asking Nancy to talk in her room.

“What happened?” Nancy cuts to the chase, crossing her arms.

“Robin. Lovely, sweet, kind, sometimes confused when it comes to baking, Robin. May have mixed up two recipes when making the dessert.”

Nancy takes the first part well. “That doesn’t seem too bad. They were both desserts, right?”

“That’s the thing. Apparently, this book has the recipes mixed up and not in sections. So when the pages were stuck together, one page was an English trifle, and the other was a Shapard’s pie.”

“What,” Nancy yells. “How can those to be mixed up?”

“I don’t know, I wasn’t there. I was here helping you with the rest of the food.” Steve takes a step back.

Nancy follows after her, slapping him on the arm. “I can’t believe this. Robin is going to be crushed when we won’t eat it. Then she’ll be mortified when she realizes her mistake.”

Steve makes a pained face.

“Steve, we’re not going to eat this are we?” Nancy’s death glare sets in again.

“It’s Robin, of course we have to.”

Nancy starts hitting him again mixed in with anger about his mess up. When she calms down, she says, “I am doing this, not for you, but for Robin. Because I cannot even begin to think about how she’s going to react when she figures this all out.”

Nancy leaves the room without saying another word. Steve goes back to the living room and flops on the couch, being dramatic about the nonexistent bruises that Nancy gave him. She did not hit him as hard as she could have, or wanted to.

“Get up you big baby and get your ass back into the kitchen,” Nancy says from the kitchen.

Steve turns his head towards Jonathan and Argyle. “You know, sometimes I wonder why we broke up in college. And then I am reminded why.” He stands and goes to the kitchen.

part 2 coming tomorrow

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