Everything okay?

If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. There are many support services that are here to help. For 24/7 peer support and other resources, message KokoBot on Tumblr.

If you are in the United States, please try:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) The Trevor Project (LGBTQ youth, ages 13-24) National Eating Disorders Association (online chat, text) RAINN (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

If you are outside the United States, visit IASP to find resources for your country.

For more resources, please visit our Counseling & Prevention Resources page for a list of services that may be able to help.

Okay, breaking out of the crippleposting to do a Mental Illness Post rq:

On top of depression and anxiety, I have BPD, CPTSD, OSDD-1b, and Bipolar II. I experience delusions, psychosis, and severe dissociation. I am a *severely* mentally ill person. Because of all of this, I require several mood stabilizers and an antipsychotic to keep myself grounded to reality, let alone functional.

I swear to GOD, if one more person with depression looks at me and says some shit like "yeah, I'm sure medication would help me, I just don't want to be dependent on it." I'm going to fucking scream. The sheer ableism in y'all's attitudes towards people who can't just opt out of medication and who ARE dependent on it is fucking crazy. The way they hit the word "dependent" in that sentence always holds so much judgment and distain, like they don't even consider that some of us don't have the luxury of choice. Being dependent on medication has literally no moral weight, and for me it's that or dead. So.

***and before someone goes off on me, this is NOT about people who can't afford medication or who medication doesn't work for, and I am not saying that depression can't be debilitating. I am only referring to exactly the situation I described, so don't try and gotcha me***

chronic fatigue from mental illness and neurodivergency isn't something you can just will your way out of. your nervous system is part of your body. your brain is an organ. the fatigue is real. you're not lazy. so be kinder to yourself. be gentler with your bodymind.

I talk to many people who say things like "oh I have trauma but I don't have PTSD", but then when I talk to them a little more I realize that they most likely do, they just can't recognize it as such due to how lacking PTSD awareness is, even beyond the whole "it's not just a veteran's disorder" thing.

The main reason they think they don't have PTSD usually has to do with flashbacks and nightmares, either they have one but not the other or have neither. But here's the thing, those are only two symptoms out of the 23-odd recognized symptoms. Flashbacks and nightmares are two of the five symptoms under Criterion B (Intrusion), which you only need one of for a diagnosis. The other three symptoms are unwanted upsetting memories, emotional distress after being reminded of trauma and physical reactivity after being reminded of trauma (i.e. shaking, sweating, heart racing, feeling sick, nauseous or faint, etc). Therefore you can have both flashbacks and nightmares, one but not the other, or neither and still have PTSD.

In fact, a lot of the reasons people give me for why they don't think they have PTSD are literally a part of the diagnostic criteria.

"Oh, I can barely remember most parts of my trauma anyway." Criterion D (Negative Alterations in Cognition and Mood) includes inability to recall key features of the trauma.

"Oh but I don't get upset about my trauma that often because I avoid thinking of it or being around things that remind me of it most of the time." Criterion C (Avoidance) includes avoiding trauma-related thoughts or feelings and avoiding trauma-related external reminders, and you literally cannot get diagnosed if you don't have at least one of those two symptoms.

"Oh I just have trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep, but I don't have nightmares." Criterion E (Alterations in Arousal and Reactivity) includes difficulting sleeping outside of nightmares.

"But I didn't have many/any trauma symptoms until a long time after the trauma happened." There's literally an entire specification for that.

Really it just shows how despite being one of the most well-known mental illnesses, people really don't know much about PTSD. If you have trauma, I ask you to at least look at the criteria before you decide you don't have PTSD. Hell, even if you don't have trauma, look at the criteria anyway because there are so many symptoms in there that just are not talked about.

PTSD awareness is not just about flashbacks and nightmares.

it's okay if you get confused easily. it's okay if you forget things easily. it's okay if you lose track during conversation easily. it's okay if you have to ask for clarification often. it's okay if you struggle to parse information or sensory unit. you're not "playing dumb" or "doing it on purpose". it's okay to be disabled, some people just refuse to be accommodating.

told someone i'm schizophrenic and they ask "are you sure it's not just your mind playing tricks on you" bro what the fuck do you think schizophrenia is

fr

Shoutout to people who “just” have anxiety and depression. I’m sorry the severity of your disorders are downplayed. I know from personal experience, when I was dealing with “just” anxiety and depression, that this was something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Depression is severe. Anxiety is severe. There is no “just” anxiety and depression.

🎶 Where were you when everything was falling apart? 🎶

I’ve lost my way…

it's never too late to start brushing your teeth again. i basically never brushed my teeth for a whole 10 years. a decade. A DECADE. i still struggle to brush my teeth once a week, but it all started with brushing my teeth once every few months. so i mean it when i say brushing your teeth once a week, a month, a year, or even a decade, is better than nothing.

and still, nothing is not shameful. it is not immoral to struggle with self care. and it is also not pointless to keep trying. anything you can do, even if its wiping plaque off with a towel, is enough. it is good to take care of yourself however you can, even if it's just trying to muster the will to. reading this post is good, too.

i believe in you and i am proud of you, even in the smallest of steps. it's okay. you can give yourself grace.

Sometimes I want to let the mental illness consume me fully so I can stop fighting and not be exhausted anymore. Sometimes I want to give up and feel the release.

if you "offer disability accommodations" but mandate the person have an impossible amount of paperwork to "prove" that they're disabled before even speaking to them, you don't fucking offer accommodations.