"Do I really deserve this nice thing?"
This isn't what you should be asking.
What you should be asking is;
"Is this something I want?"
"Is this something I need?'
"Will this improve my current mood or situation in any way?"
And if the answer is yes, you should go do and/or get the nice thing. You don't have to "deserve" anything.
You are enough as you are.
i wish all people trying to recover from abuse who blame the abuse on the persons disorder a very stop throwing us under the bus. the disorder did not cause the abuse. you are looking for something to blame other than your abuser by doing this, and in turn claiming that all people with the disorders also in mental health recovery communities are secret monsters. doing this is not only inherently anti-recovery and cruel, but makes it more likely that the people you ostracize will end up hurting people, as is often the case when people with certain disorders cannot/do not seek help and recovery. by making people with certain disorders unwelcome in the mental health recovery community, you not only are harming those people but are increasing the chances that more people will continue the cycle. so fuck out of here with that. not only all that but you're hinging your recovery on the false presumption that the disorder is to blame and not your abuser. hold your abuser accountable, not everyone with a certain diagnosis.
If a child is so afraid of getting in trouble that they don't come to their parents when they make a mistake that could possibly put their health or even their life in danger, then those parents have failed.
If something goes wrong, and the first thing that child thinks is, "oh god, my parents are gonna kill me," then the parents have failed.
If a child is afraid of their parents, if the child sees their parents as an active threat instead of a source of safety and guidance, then the parents have failed.
A parents job is to protect, to teach, to guide.
If a parent makes themself a danger to the child, in any capacity, then that parent has failed.
Free Trauma and Dissociation Books
This is the link to Google Drive folder containing these books. There is a list below of what is in the folder. Please consider reblogging so these resources are available.
Disclaimer: I have not read all of these to completion. I have not researched all the authors. Please do your own research if you have concerns.
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk MD
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker (edit: ableist views expressed about cluster Bs)
Complex PTSD Recovery Workbook by Kimberly Callis
Complex PTSD Workbook by Arielle Schwartz
Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation by Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele, Onno van der Hart
EMDR Toolbox: Theory and Treatment of Complex PTSD and Dissociation by James Knipe
Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to Do When a Parent’s Love Rules Your Life by Patricia Love, Jo Robinson
Got Parts? An Insider’s Guide to Managing Life Successfully with Dissociative Identity Disorder by ATW
The Haunted Self by Onno Hart
Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self Alienation by Janina Fisher
In an Unspoken Voice How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness by Peter A. Levine
Life After Trauma: A Workbook for Healing by Dena Rosenbloom, Mary Beth Williams, Barbara E. Watkins
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook: A Guide to Healing, Recovery, and Growth by Glenn R. Schiraldi
The PTSD Workbook: Simple, Effective Techniques for Overcoming Traumatic Stress Symptoms by Mary Beth Williams, Soili Poijula
Rebuilding Shattered Lives: Treating Complex PTSD and Dissociative Disorders by James A. Chu
Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb, Christine Musello
Stoning Demons Book 1: Childhood Trauma is a Primer for Complex PTSD by Kimberly Callis
Stoning Demons Book 3: Physical Health and Complex PTSD by Kimberly Callis
The Stranger in the Mirror by Marlene Steinberg
Toxic Parents by Susan Forward, Craig Buck
Trauma and Recovery by Judith L. Herman
Trauma and the Body: A Sensorimotor Approach to Psychotherapy by Pat Ogden
Waking the Tiger Healing Trauma by Peter A. Levine