Sometimes I think back to the times I have been traumatized and I get crushed by sadness and sometimes I think back to it and I get overwhelmed by a devestating rage that leads to an urge seeking revenge.

Depression is really tough sometimes…I spent all day crying, staring at a wall… barely talking to anyone… I just feel so alone right now.

i be in my own head fighting for my life

suicidal thoughts always come back no matter how hard i try so why am i even trying?

You don’t get it, this pain never goes away

Suicide attempts are traumatic

I don't hear anyone talking about this. But attempting to take your own life is traumatic.

The moments before the attempt are the most heartbreaking. The planning of it. Writing the suicide notes. You imagine all the pain will stop, but you wake up in the morning in your bed/floor/hospital bed/after a coma. Still alive. The ambulance rides. Your friends/family yelling/crying/asking questions. Trying to find the words to doctors why you did it. All you wanted was for it all to stop, but it was the most heartbreaking, painful both mentally and physically, draining thing you went through. Maybe you woke up with regret, maybe with relief.

But after you get back out in the real world, you have to act like nothing happened. You have to keep living surviving after something so traumatic. You still think about that event over and over. What would it be like if it worked? Why didn't it work? The way you did it, triggers you every time you see that thing/place. You get flashbacks. Ambulances make you re-remember everything all over again.

If you've survived, I'm proud you're still here. You're a survivor. Life might not look like it's worth it sometimes, but your future holds something amazing for you, I promise it does get better. Little by little. Don't give up just yet.

It’s so sad that some of the loveliest and kindest people hate themselves a lot.

my biggest fear? people eventually seeing me the way i see myself