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jakesguitarsolo · 5 months

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M’am I am so happy that you are doing Sexy Sunday!! You are absolutely one of the best at the short impure thoughts and blurbs I enjoy them so much!!!

This is one of my first time sending something like this so it might be a bit messy, but I have this thought inspired by a comment I saw the other day, it’s something like “humans often confused arousal with anxiety because an orgasm creates a release therefore lessening the anxiety”.

Imagine that you are stressed about something, maybe it’s an upcoming speech, some sort of big assignment for school/work, or perhaps you are also a performer and is stressed before going on stage, you know that it’s just your brain playing tricks with you but you still can’t help with all the nerves; and Jake can tell, it has happened before. he has been quiet, he has been observing you all day and picking up the little signs, from your constantly clicking the pen, drumming your fingers etc. you have been stubborn this time or just don’t want to give in so you didn’t talk about it with him;

you decided to make yourself a cup of tea to calm your nerves and accidentally over poured the cup or dropped a glass. Jake heard the sound and found you frustrated and on the verge of tears facing the mess you just made. when you are about to speak he stops you and starts kissing you, from your forehead to your cheek, on your neck and around your collarbone, you start relaxing under his touch, and heard him murmurs in your ear: “let me take care of my poor girl, yeah? fuck the nerves out of your system”

(Ahhhhh me covering my face and running away

First of all, thank you so much 🥹🥲 that is so sweet!! I’m so glad you enjoy them because I LOVE sharing them with you all and will obviously continue to do so.

Wow, you really set the scene beautifully. I adore this thought.

Warnings: 18+ after the cut! Minors DNI! Fluff, pet names, digital penetration, oral (f! receiving), unprotected sex, and cock warming.

I’m really just imaging how sweet and comforting Jake would be while talking you through it. He really wants to make you feel good, even if he thinks it’ll be a quick distraction from the stress.

He would pick you up and set you down gently on the couch. “Just lay back, babygirl. Relax and close your eyes. Let me do all the work. I’m gonna touch, taste, and fuck you all better.”

Jake would kiss all over your body while his incredibly magical hands worked your pussy. Fucking two fingers in you with one hand and using his other to rub tight circles on your clit. You already a whimpering and moaning mess. “It’s okay. Get out of your head, sweetheart. Focus on how good my fingers feel inside you.” Jake knows how good he is with his hands. It doesn’t take long before he feels your walls fluttering around his fingers. “Come on, sweetheart. Let go and give it to me. I can feel how close you are.” Tears finally fall from your eyes as he makes you come hard. After you’ve settled back down, you can’t help but sigh with relief. You laugh, “I can’t believe that worked, wow.”

Jake goes on, “I’m glad you feel better, babygirl but I said I’m gonna touch, taste, and fuck you all better, remember? You’ve got two more in you. I’m not nearly finished with you yet.” With that, he kisses his way down your body. Your cheek, neck, moving down the center of your chest… kissing on your soft stomach before resting on his forearms between your legs. He continues his attack with his lips all over your inner thighs, switching from an opened mouth kiss on your left thigh to one on the right. He licks a stripe from your entrance up to your sensitive clit, finally tasting you from before. You whimper at the contact, “more please, Jake. Don’t stop.” Jake smirks before diving in like a starved man. You grab onto his long hair attempting to pull him closer to you. You’re moving your hips around now riding his face. Using him just like he intended. Before you know it, your vision goes hazy and the orgasm rips through you again. Stronger this time. When Jake comes up for air, you see him lick his lips somehow trying to get more of a taste of you. Fuck, he looks so beautiful like that.

“Jake, I need your cock now. Please fuck me,” you beg. He rolls you onto your side and gets behind you, always wanting to be the big spoon. He loves being as close to you as possible when he fucks you. Jake has been rock hard this entire time, but he’s focusing on your pleasure tonight. It’s all about you. He lifts up your leg just a tiny bit before sliding his thick cock into your soaking pussy with ease. He fits you so perfectly. Fills you up deliciously as he slowly thrusts into you. Jake is kissing the back of your neck and lightly biting down on your shoulder. “Sweetheart, you feel so fucking good wrapped around me like this. Fuck.” He’s got his arm around you, grabbing onto your breasts and toying with your nipple. “Harder, Jake… fuck, I— I’m so close again.” You can’t believe your body has managed to give him two orgams already, and your third is creeping up fast. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you, babygirl. I always give you what you need, don’t I?” Jake thrusts in hard and deep, just like you need. Hitting that sweet spot that he knows so well. You can tell that he’s close to, his thrusts stuttering a bit and losing momentum. It doesn’t matter at this point. “Come with me, Jake. Please I need it.” Like you just granting him permission, he releases inside you. Moaning beautifully into your ear as you reach your third orgasm with him. Jake goes to pull out of you, when you grab his arm and pull and hold him close to you. You utter, “No, stay like this with me. I just want to lay with you for awhile.” Jake grips your chin turning your face to meet his, and responds with “Anything for you, darling” before planting another kiss on your lips and nuzzling into your neck. You both close your eyes and drift off to the best sleep you’ve had in a long time.

#GVF Sexy Sunday #greta van fleet #jake kiszka #jaket kiszka #jakedown #jake fic #jake kiskza x reader #jake kiszka fanfic #jake kiszka smut #gvf jake #gvf fic #gvf smut #gvf fanfiction #jake gvf #greta fic rec #greta van fic #greta van fluff #greta van smut

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thejournallo · 11 days

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Explain the basic: Divination tool

Desclaimer: Everything I will talk about is information that I got from books and sites online and even videos on YouTube. In my years of practice, I learned as much as I could out of curiosity and what works best for me. I suggest you do the same by learning as much as you can on your own (I will be here making posts teaching this kind of stuff) from multiple sources.

As a divination witch, I obviously work a lot with the divine, and what I'm about to say are just a few of the things you may use or perform in this type of witchcraft work.

A word of caution, though: I've worked with divine magic for a long time; don't get into it unless you know what you're doing, and especially not without defending yourself. In this list, I will clearly explain what each item does and how it works, and some of this is for a more "advanced" sort of witchcraft.

In witchcraft, there are numerous divination tools practitioners use to gain insight into the past, present, or future or to communicate with spiritual entities. I personally believe that it is the tool that chooses you, not you choosing the tool. Here are some common ones:

Tarot Cards:

A deck of 78 cards with various symbols and images that are interpreted in readings to gain insight into a question or situation. These 78 cards are divided into major arcana and minor arcana. The major arcana may change with the deck that you choose, but the main symbolism is the same, and sometimes you will find decks that have more than just 78 cards.

Runes:

A rune is a letter in a set of related alphabets known as runic alphabets native to the Germanic peoples. The runes are an ancient method of divination used even before medieval times. Runes can be made of stone, wood, or other materials, and each symbol has its own meaning. You can easily make your own runes.

Crystal Ball Scrying/Scrying Mirror:

This requires gazing into a crystal ball or other reflective surface, such as a mirror, to obtain visions or insights. You do it by just looking at the shiny surface in low light, with nothing to distract you. Your vision will "blur," allowing you to experience visions or gain insights. There is a good reason why this happens. It's essentially our brain getting tired of our reflection and starting to make up new stories, but it's not all psychology since, as we all know, mirrors are gateways. So it is advised not to try this method unless you are an experienced witch or just lack protection, as you may invite something you do not want to invite.

Pendulum Divination:

A pendulum, often a crystal or metal weight on a chain, is used to answer yes-or-no questions or to indicate directions or choices. The pendalum moves on its own, and before you start actually using it, I suggest you ask the pendalum which direction is yes and which is no. Much like the Ouija board, this object can be used to talk to spirits and ghosts, so be careful to always say thanks and say goodbye once you finish a session, even if it is not the primary use. Better safe than sorry.

Tea Leaf Reading:

Interpretation of patterns formed by tea leaves at the bottom of a cup after drinking. Practitioners see symbols and images in the leaves and use them for divination. that's it. that's the tea.

Astrology:

Reading and interpreting the positions and movements of celestial bodies to gain insight into personality traits, events, and relationships. that can be the oroscope, your birth chart etc.

Ouija Board:

A flat board marked with the letters of the alphabet, numbers, and other symbols. Participants use a planchette to spell out messages supposedly from spirits or other supernatural entities. This is one of those tools that you don't have to play around with. It is not a game you can literally get into if you are not careful enough. The way that the Ouija board works is that you place your finger on the planchette; if you don't have a planchette, a metal ring will do just fine. Once you position it, you say, "Hello, im --- and i here to talk to only benevolent spirits, and only benevolent spirits can come true and talk to me." Once this part is done, it is NOT THE PLANCHETTE THAT MOVES YOU MOVE THE PLANCHETTE Hollywood lies to you; what a surprise! Once you are done chit-chatting with the spirits, make sure the spirits say goodbye. Say your goodbye, and once you are done, close the space and banish everything "bad" that may have come true. Again, better safe than sorry.

Numerology:

The study of the mystical significance of numbers and their influence on human life and events. a good example will be angel numbers like 444 or 555

Dream Interpretation:

Analyzing the content and symbolism of dreams to gain insight into subconscious thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Dreams can tell a lot of our personal lives, and 100% of dreams know what's up before we ourselves know. Trust and follow your dreams.

These tools are often used in combination with intuition, ritual, and personal symbolism, and the effectiveness of each tool can vary depending on the practitioner's skill and connection with their craft.

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devilfic · 1 year

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uh..hi, I see you are accepting requests; Bruce wayne (battinson) with a gothic s/o? I leave everything to your discretion ( I'm a little new here on tumblr and this is my first request so sorry if I did something wrong,sorry :(

❝bruce wayne with a gothic s/o❞

pairing: battinson!bruce wayne x gn!reader. cw: mentions of/use of blood. words: 1.1k.

a/n: you're perfectly fine!! dw bub. also, I hope my representation of the goth community is adequate. I am a fan of the music but am still very much a baby bat ;-;

for all intents and purposes, bruce IS a goth

but to be honest, he isn't really in the culture

he definitely went through a modest phase as a teenager but because of the public eye, he probably wasn't allowed to lean into it in regard to looks

but music has always been a way for him to express himself

and come on, the guy lives in goth-am. the archetypes write themselves

I could see him having a steady rotation of grunge rock, alternative, and goth rock on his playlists

alfred has never really understood the ominous choirs or the skull-shaking bass but “go off, master bruce” as he would say

he would not say that

and let’s face it, take bruce to a goth club or something and no one will be able to tell that he’s not familiar

in the event that bruce ends up with a gothic s/o, I think he would be quietly fascinated over you

you would catch him watching as you put together outfits, do your hair or makeup, etc. with this slightly unnerving stare that you’re unfortunately used to, but the difference between bruce’s stare and others’ is that you can tell he’s fascinated

whenever he finds something that appeals to him, he tends to get a little lost watching it

it’s really endearing when you happen to catch him doing it to you all the time ;-;

asking him what he’s thinking about when he looks at you usually helps get him out of the trance

he sometimes asks if you can try looks on him that he otherwise wouldn’t do himself

he doesn’t really like to do this, but he does have to keep up the image of a squeaky clean ceo that definitely doesn’t dress up as a giant bat every night, so whatever you do to him has to come off in one hot shower

the first time you ever took a tub of gel to his hair and drew on some elaborate eyeliner and eyeshadow, he’d stared at the mirror as if he was trapped inside someone else’s body

he was used to caking black paint on his eyes in a messy, undone up way of course, so he’d never looked this… deliberately pretty

he really couldn’t begin to consider wearing looks like this out with you because, again, squeaky clean ceo

but you’ve gotten plenty of pictures of him in the privacy of wayne tower to make up for it

but wouldn’t he just look darling in a corporate goth getup? ;-;

he would. because that’s literally his fashion style right now

as for music, I mentioned in my headcanons for bruce making you a playlist that he absolutely loves taking recommendations from you and playing them in the batcave at a deafening volume

it’s his love language: including bits of you into his routine

now I said that he’s not able to dress up with you when you go out, but that doesn’t by any means mean that he feels you shouldn’t either

bruce is a secretive, possessive lover anyway. it’s very rare you two are spotted together outside of the tower, especially in his early days as batman

when he starts getting back into the swing of being Bruce Wayne, there are plenty of public events that he’s asked to attend

of which he usually just goes to by himself

but once you two have been together long enough, I think bruce would start asking if you’d be okay being his date to things

like he knows that some of this stuff isn’t your cup of tea, and he knows better than any one that gotham high society is brutal to anyone who doesn’t “fit in”, so he would never want to put you into a position where you felt uncomfortable or ostracized

but he also genuinely is proud to have you by his side, and he’s a little tired of bringing alfred as his date to things LMAO

he makes it painstakingly clear that you’re free to be yourself. he doesn’t want you to put on some facade just to appeal to people that bruce doesn’t actually care about

if you want to go all out at galas, he’s all for it

hell, he’ll even don a few accessories (your choice) to match you

speaking of

I know that not every goth is into this BUT I am

if you and bruce were to get even more serious (or married!), I think that he would be interested in exchanging blood jewelry with you

it’d come up one night as you’re patching him up, pressing a cloth to a cut in his cheek that he got on patrol

he’d be a bit unsure about how to go about asking you since he has no idea if it’d freak you out

but he proposes it carefully, “I’ve seen these... rings. unique rings. I thought about getting us a pair”

when you ask for further explanation, he tells you about artisans who take your blood and fashion them into beautiful bands of silver

they’re minimalist, subtle, and mean something

“I’d like to carry you with me, in a way. what do you think?”

if you’re down, he is excited to get the actual rings done

he has alfred draw the blood for both of you, sending it off to get made, and when the rings come back he immediately finds you to try them on

your matching rings are stunning, a trick of the light that makes others think they’re made of garnet or stained, tempered glass

and if anyone asks, that’s what he might say

it’s your little secret ^^

ALSO

YOU CAN’T STOP ME

if you happen to show him the crow (1994), he is super gonna wanna dress up as eric for halloween with you

I’m talking full face of white paint and black eyeliner/lipstick, tight leather pants, ripped muscle shirt, the WORKS

like, LOOK at the material

you cannot tell me bruce wouldn’t be made for this look

it’d be a few steps out of his comfort zone with the elaborate makeup and the tight-fitting clothing, but I think he’d do it just to have you compliment him

god forbid you tell him that the look suits him and he should wear it more often

I said bruce has to play the role of the squeaky clean ceo but he loves you, public image be damned

I would give anything to be a citizen of gotham experiencing eric!bruce

I would be the biggest pick me ever, I’m sorry dear reader

but all jokes aside, I think bruce would really enjoy having a gothic s/o! he would think ur really cool and hot wear your blood as a priceless accessory (if you’re down) <3

taglist: @yikes-buddy @alexxavicry @moonlightreader649

#bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne scenarios #bruce wayne imagine #bruce wayne headcanons #bruce wayne fic #bruce wayne fluff #bruce wayne #batman x reader #batman scenarios #batman imagine #batman headcanons #batman fic #batman fluff #the batman #battinson x reader #battinson #mjwrites

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fandom-imagines-stories · 1 year

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Can't Live With Them, Can't Live Without Them

John Mitchell x Reader

Words: 3628

Summary: Having roommates can be impossible. Especially when they get under your skin the way Mitchell does. When the catalyst of one of your arguments turns into something, well, scandalous, you must figure out what to make of your relationship- and try to keep it a secret from your other roommates.

Notes: Welp. This turned into smut. This is only the second smut I’ve ever written so please be patient with me haha. I really don’t have any excuses for this, it just happened.

Warnings: 18+ Smut (fingering, m and f sex, etc.) Minors please do not interact. You know the drill.

More Mitchell: HERE

The table had suddenly become the most interesting thing in the world. You kept your eyes fixed in front of you while your roommates bustled around the kitchen, George making his breakfast and Annie making yet another cup of tea she couldn't drink. Your brain had decided that if you looked at them, they’d know.

So table it was.

You’d started to regret coming down altogether when Annie sat across from you. In your peripheral, you could spot a not-so-subtle smile creeping across her lips. Oh no.

“So…” She blew out a long, theatrical breath and tapped her fingers against the spot you stared at. “Anything you’d like to share?”

Your shoulders tensed and your voice shook with worried timidity. “W-what do you mean?”

“Oh come on,” Annie gave you a cheeky grin. “Did you really think we wouldn’t find out?”

Still playing dumb, you stared at her blankly. On the inside, however, you wished the world would open up beneath you and swallow you whole.

Annie persisted. “The walls aren’t exactly thick, Y/N.” She giggled like a schoolgirl gossiping. “And it sounded like you had a very nice time, last night.”

George leaned against the counter. “God, is that what that was?” He whined though he smirked at you from over his mug. “I thought someone was hammering an accordion to the wall.”

“Well?” Annie wriggled her eyebrows at you.

You gulped. “Annie-”

“Who is he? Is he someone we know?”

You relaxed.

So they didn’t know. Thank God. Your moment of relief was only that. A moment.

“What are you goin’ on about?” A new voice asked. He stepped through the doorway, running his hands through his shower-dampened hair. Black curls stuck to his forehead. Drops of water traveled slowly down his neck. His eyes met yours, but only for a glance.

“Didn’t you hear all that noise last night?” George scoffed.

Annie beamed. “Y/N had a late-night visitor.” She winked at you.

“Must have slept through it,” Mitchell shrugged. He didn’t even look at you. He just turned his back and opened the fridge. It wasn’t fair. How unaffected he could be. Wasn’t he burning up like you were?

“Where is he? Did you kick him out already?” Annie asked.

You watched Mitchell’s back in the corner of your eye, giving Annie a nonchalant shrug. Two could play at this game. “Oh, you know. He was out as quick as he was in.”

The refrigerator door slammed shut.

“Anyway, I don’t reckon he’ll be round again,” you continued.

“Aw,” she winced, “was it that bad?”

Mitchell stormed off without saying a word. The other two didn’t seem to notice, but you smiled to yourself for the small victory of getting under his skin.

“Not bad, no,” you said. There was a tone of something else in your voice, but even you couldn’t place it. Regret, maybe. “I just don’t see it working out.”

You stuffed your sheets into your laundry bin with a loud, tired sigh. You slid to the floor with your back to the foot of your bed, laid your head against the bare mattress, and stared at the ceiling. Images and feelings from the night before ran rampant in your head and on your skin. His eyes burning into yours in the dark. His breath searing against the skin of your neck. His fingers lighting every nerve in your body on fire. For a dead man, there was so much heat still left inside of you. Was there no escaping it?

“That was quite the little performance downstairs,” Mitchell scoffed from your doorway.

You turned your head towards him, rolled your eyes, and turned back again. “I wasn’t the one with the prima donna exit.” He glowered. You ran a hand down your face and stood. “What do you want, Mitchell?”

For a moment, you thought his eyes went to your lips, but you couldn’t be sure. Just the thought made them ache with the memory of his pressed against them, hungry and wanting. It sent another wave through you. You could only hope you weren’t shaking enough for him to notice.

Mitchell shook his head. “Nothing. Forget it.”

“Which part?” You snapped.

“What?”

“Which part would be most convenient for you to have me forget?”

He shut the door. “Y/N-”

“Could it be you accusing me of attacking people in the park during the last full moon? Like I have some kind of say in the matter? Or, would you like me to erase your attempt at an apology from my memory? Would that work for you?” You didn’t realize you’d been walking towards him until you were inches- breaths- apart. “Oh, I know. Maybe you want me to forget how we fucked the night away and then you couldn’t even look at me this morning!”

Mitchell put a hand over your mouth, grabbing your other wrist when you moved to shove him off.

“Must you be so loud?” He growled.

I thought you liked me that way. You thought, but the burning in his hazel eyes kept you silent.

When he removed his hand, it was you who closed the space between your lips. Just the taste of him sent your mind reeling to the night before.

To his fingers racing over your electric skin.

To his lips traveling every inch of you.

To the moment he-

You pushed away. “Fuck,” you muttered, running your fingers through your hair. Mitchell blew out a low breath, lips swollen and gaze still locked on yours. You paced across the room as if the space could somehow save you from yourself. “This is ridiculous. What are we doing?”

“You kissed me!” He exclaimed. You glowered. “Not that I didn’t enjoy it-”

“I’m serious, Mitchell.”

“So am I,” he sighed. He stepped toward you and you didn’t step away. “Look, I came up here because last night was… it was…” He stammered for words, but you could tell where he was going.

“A mistake,” you finished. His eyes snapped to yours.

He nodded slowly. “Right. A mistake.” His agreement stung more than you thought it would.

“I mean, we don’t even like each other,” you said.

“Exactly. It was just a complete lapse in judgment,” he snapped. You didn’t understand the anger in his voice, but it made the growing lump in your throat even worse.

“Right.”

“Glad we got that out of the way.” Now he was the one shouting.

You covered the disappointment you didn’t want to face with a frustration to match his.

“Fine.”

Mitchell left, the slam of the door behind him echoing through your chest.

Fingers buried in black curls. Teeth nipping at your neck in the best of ways. Growls that rumble through your-

“Hello? Is anybody home?” Annie waved a hand in front of your eyes. Any thoughts of Mitchell’s effect on your body were banished, though you couldn’t help the anxious tapping of your foot.

Christ, even now, he still found a way to get under your skin.

“Sorry, yeah. I guess I got distracted,” you said. “You were saying?”

Your companion’s face split with a wide smile. “You’ve been distracted a lot recently, hm?” You stared blankly in response and she rolled her eyes. “Come on, Y/N. This has got to be about that guy.”

You gulped. “Guy? W-what guy?”

“You know, Mr. In-and-Out,” she snickered. “I think you liked him more than you let on and now he’s driving you mad with desire and passion.” She flared out her hands dramatically and then pressed them against her heart.

Damn, she was good.

“I…” You sucked in a breath and thought of lying. But you knew talking about it may make the itching frustration lighting up your whole body go away. And besides, it’s not like Annie knew who you were really talking about anyway. “Alright, fine. You’re right.”

She squealed. “I knew it! Tell me everything.” She didn’t wait for you to start, instead, she rambled her own predictions as you grew redder and redder in the cheeks. “So he was good then? I mean, it must have been if you’re still thinking about it. I knew there was something off about you that morning. Honestly, good for you for getting out there and getting some-”

“Annie,” you said through your embarrassment.

“Well, go on then!” She beamed.

You ducked your head sheepishly for a moment. You thought of his eyes burning into yours, hovering over you and glinting with moonlight. It was just… perfect.

“He may or may not have been better than I lead on,” you finally smirked. With a deep breath, you let the tension built up in your shoulders relax and you buried your face in your hands. “But that isn’t the problem.”

“Uh oh,” she can’t help the teasing smile on her face. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

Your head snapped back up. “What? Of course not,” you scoffed. “He may be good in bed- okay, great even, but that doesn’t change the other things about him. He’s paranoid. He’s arrogant. He… He has this way of getting under my skin no matter what he does. And don’t even get me started on the way he treats me like I have no idea how to take care of myself. Like, I’ve gotten this far in life without him, right? Where does he get off being so overprotective and-and infuriating.”

You stared at the table, your mind too lost in thought to stop your words. “He does this thing where he smiles and I can feel it light up every dark corner of my mind. Like he can somehow fix everything. And then the next minute, he embodies darkness. Not mine, but his own. I just don’t understand him. And I’m not even sure I want to. There’s something so beautiful about him and yet it terrifies me. I don’t understand how I can hate him so much and still…” You trailed off, eventually snapping out of it and looking back up at a stunned Annie.

“Love him?” She finishes for you.

You stand up from the table. “Anyway, it doesn’t even matter because he doesn’t feel the same way. I’d be surprised if he even talks to me again.”

“Oh, I’m sure-”

“Actually, can we change the subject?” You huffed, running your shaking fingers through your hair.

Reluctantly, Annie obliged and the two of you finished your meal talking about menial things happening in the neighborhood.

Mitchell leaned against the wall. From his place at the base of the stairs, he heard it all. Every word from your lips burrowed into his chest and pierced his still heart. The spark he’d felt under his skin became a wildfire. As he hurried back up the stairs so you wouldn’t see him, his mind warred with itself.

“She didn’t exactly say she had feelings for me,” he muttered to himself. “And it shouldn’t matter. I can barely stand her. What happened was a mistake, she said so.”

But he knew it was a lie. Mitchell fell back onto his bed with the dreaded realization that, no matter how he tried to fight it, the reason you drove him so crazy was because, all this time it wasn’t loathing or even just lust that drove the two of you to fight. It was love.

He lit a cigarette even though he knew you hated when smoked and brought it to his lips.

He sighed out with the smoke. “Fuck.”

It was getting ridiculous. Even as you laid in your room with a cigarette in hand, your nerves just wouldn’t quit. You always got on Mitchell for his bad habit, but it’d also been a secret habit of yours for longer than you’d known him. It was almost ironic. You scolded him for having the same vise even though you knew very well that it couldn’t kill him. Just another thing you used as an excuse to be around him, even if it was just to get into screaming matches.

You put it out on a tray by the window and stood in the way of the breeze. Why were you so hot? It was as if your room was an oven trying to suffocate you. But you were too scared to go out into the hall. You were so focused on the night air dancing across the goosebumps on your arms that you didn’t hear your door open and close again.

“Since when do you smoke?”

His voice made you jump and your hand knocked the tray off of the window sill, sending dull ashes across your floor.

“Shit,” You muttered, stooping to put out any possible sparks. Mitchell said something of an apology for startling you and crossed to help you sweep up the mess. You stood and turned your back, trying to hide the frantic panic now rushing through you. “What are you doing here?”

He rocked back on his heels but made no motion to back away from you.

“I wanted to say sorry for the way I’ve been acting. It hasn’t been fair to you and you deserve a better explanation.”

You kept your face away and tucked your trembling hands in your pockets. “I thought we already went over this-”

“I don’t regret it,” he blurted. You turned to face him, finding his hazel eyes wide and his body shaking just as much as yours. “I don’t think it was a mistake and I know you don’t either.”

You froze. Mitchell stepped towards you and pulled your hands out of your pockets, holding them firmly in his.

“I…” He blew out a low, tremoring breath. “I heard you talking to Annie.”

“Mitchell-”

“I just wanted to tell you that…” His eyes fell to your lips. He leaned forward. “I feel the same way. Every bit of it. You drive me fuckin’ mad and I never want you to stop.”

A breath away from his lips, you couldn’t move. The intensity of his stare held you in place. Just a little bit closer.

Mitchell backed away, looking defeated. He’d taken your silence as his answer.

“Anyway,” he coughed. “That’s all I wanted to say.”

He turned and started for the door. Under the thin fabric of his sleeveless shirt, you could see his shoulder blades drawn tensely together. The mere sight broke you.

“Mitchell.” Your voice came out as barely a whisper, but he turned back around.

You didn’t have to say anything. With one look into your eyes, he knew. And he didn’t waste any more time.

The two of you met in the middle, just at the foot of your bed. You crashed your lips against his, hands already clinging to the gray material of his tank. Mitchell’s arms wrapped around you, his hands gripping your waist as close to him as possible. He let one hand travel under your thigh and lifted your leg to wrap around his waist. The movement made the friction between you and the growing tent in his jeans almost unbearable. You rolled your hips against his for more relief.

A growl escaped his throat. His other hand dipped just underneath your waistband, the tips of his fingers just above where you wanted him.

“Are you sure this is what you want because I-”

You stopped him with another mind-consuming kiss. Your fingers tangled themselves in his messy, black curls and tugged just hard enough to elicit a sigh from his lips.

“I want you, Mitchell.” It was almost a whine. “Please.”

He lowered his hand. The mere touch of his fingertips grazing against your sensitive bud drew a moan from your chest.

“Shhh,” Mitchell coaxed, his lips finding your jaw. “We don’t want them to hear us again, do we love?” He slowly rubbed his index finger up and down your clit, stopping occasionally to draw even slower circles into your nerves. Your knees buckled against him, sinking you further onto his hand. His other arm steadied you. “I’ve got you, love.”

As he lowered you onto the bed, your hands worked to lift his shirt over his head. Your nails raked over the muscles of his bare back, earning you another growl.

God, his back.

You made quick work of the rest of each other’s clothes and with you laying out in front of him, completely exposed, he slipped two fingers into your core.

“Mitchell!” You cried out.

He clamped his free hand over your mouth and hovered over you with a teasing smirk.

“Must you be so loud?”

He curled his fingers perfectly to hit the soft spot that made you see stars and began pulling them in and out with a painfully slow rhythm. You had to bite down on your lips to keep from calling out his name again. He chuckled and picked up the pace. He knew what he was doing and you wanted to smack him for it. He flicked his thumb over your clit.

You pulled on his hair again, slightly harder than before, and roughly brought his lips back to yours to muffle your moans.

His fingers sped up and his mouth went to your neck. A series of nips and licks across your collarbone had you writhing beneath him even more than before. You jerked your hips against his motions, desperately chasing what you needed. The white-hot coil inside you wound tighter and tighter.

“Mitchell,” you mewled.

“That’s it,” he said against your skin. “Good girl. That’s it. Let go.”

As if on command, the dam inside you snapped, sending burning waves rushing over your body. More whimpers and moans spilled from your lips, silenced by more, softer kisses. You wrapped your hand around Mitchell’s wrist and brought his fingers up to your mouth. He watched with lust-blown eyes as you brought each glistening digit into your mouth, your tongue swirling around until each was cleaned of your wetness.

You hardly even gave yourself a moment to breathe before gently pushing back on his chest and moving to straddle his lap. With your fingers still splayed out over his chest, you sank down onto him, sheathing him completely inside you in one quick motion.

“Fuckin’ Christ Y/N,” he exclaimed breathily.

Now it was your turn to smirk, using his words against him. “We don’t want them to hear us again, do we love?”

He clenched his jaw and snapped his hips up into yours, making you both moan through gritted teeth.

You rolled against him, pushing him even deeper into you. He sat up, pulling you closer. With his arms locked around you, you bounced up and down on his cock, hitting the same spot as before with just as much thought-numbing precision. He thrust up into you and had to bite down on your shoulder to keep himself quiet.

“Fuck, Y/N. Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” he muttered.

The bed frame knocked against the wall violently, but you’d forgotten to care.

He slotted his hand in between your bodies, rubbing fierce circles into your clit now. Between that and the filthy utterings coming from his mouth, you didn’t last much longer.

Your second orgasm hit even harder than the first and was soon followed by his. Heat filled your core as he spilled into you, both of your motions growing sloppier and less consistent. You climbed off of him, sighing from the emptiness, and fell down onto the bed beside him. Mitchell’s arm laid across your stomach and he nuzzled his face against your neck sweetly.

After a few long moments of breath and silence, he lifted his eyes to yours.

“I meant it, you know,” he whispered as if revealing a secret. “I feel for you. More than I have in a very long time.” He kissed one of the redder marks he’d left on your skin and lowered his voice even more, speaking just into your ear. “I love you, Y/N.”

You pressed your lips to his forehead, running your fingers through his wonderfully messy curls.

“I love you too.”

With the cool breeze still sweeping in from your window, the two of you fell asleep, still intertwined under your sheets.

You didn’t notice the knocking. When you awoke, you could only hear the soft rustlings of Mitchell stirring beneath you, your head on his chest and his arms still locked around you. The sun had just started to peek through the half-drawn blinds.

The knocks grew louder and then stopped.

“Y/N!” Annie called. “You promised you’d help me practice this whole poltergeist thing today!”

You smacked Mitchell’s chest. He snorted awake.

“Hey, what the fu-”

“That’s it, I’m coming in!” Annie announced.

“Shit shit shit shit.” You scrambled to find some article of clothing but failed. Annie appeared at the foot of your bed before you could even open your mouth to speak.

Mitchell scrambled into a sitting position, careful to make sure the sheet didn’t fall from his waist. You clutched the fabric up over your chest, feeling every inch of your skin turn pink.

Annie’s jaw dropped. Her eyes darted between the two of you.

“Oh. My. God.” She gasped.

“Annie, I can explain-” You started, but were cut off by her excited shrieks.

“I knew it!” She squealed. “I knew it! I knew it!” She popped back out of your room, but you could still hear her shouting all the way down the stairs. “George, I knew it!”

You and Mitchell looked at each other and fell back against the bed frame.

Mitchell shook his head. A low chuckle rumbled through his chest and he turned to kiss the top of your head.

“So much for keeping it quiet.”

#john mitchell x reader #being human imagine #being human #john mitchell #smut #john mitchell smut #aidan turner #being human uk

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elmfae · 1 month

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Self Hypnosis Method👁🍭😴⏳💭

In 6 Easy Quick Steps

This hypnosis method is for all who are into hypnosis or looking for a method of easy meditation and visualization or anything you want honestly…ready? let’s go! 😁

Start by finding a quiet room, space or find somewhere comfortable to stay for a bit like a chair or bed. I and some people prefer to lie down, especially when using self hypnosis to drop into deep trance. For beginners and people who like body scanning, it can be more effective to sit upright in a comfortable chair, place your feet on the floor, your hands on the arms of the chair and eyes focused on a point in front of you or on a spiral. The goal right now is to relax your body then your mind. 2. Imagine your goal.....focus on what you want to achieve with this session; you can also use this time to visualize what you want to achieve or how you’d like to feel. 3. Induction and body scan, Lift your index finger on your dominant hand and without moving your head, look up to the ceiling. Take two or three deep and slow breaths into the lungs first, diaphragm then stomach. Realize how your breath instinctively becomes slower and deeper, and your eyes start to feel heavy and blink and want to close. When your eyes are ready to close, exhale your breath, drop your finger and say your trigger word in your mind, “sleep,” Feeling your body sink and with the waves of relaxation wash over you gently as your mind drifts.  4. Imagine walking down a beautiful staircase of relaxation, with each exhale, stepping down the staircase counting down from 10 down to 1. As you’re deepening your relaxed state, give yourself suggestions as you count down, saying the words, “relax” or “deeper and deeper.” After finally reaching the end of your staircase, visualize and create a safe place that puts you into a tranquil state; letting your mind lull to a place of suggestibility. This place is your subconscious and here you can teach your brain whatever over time. Stay here as long as you like. 5. When you’re feeling more open and relaxed, start to visualize yourself and your life in your relaxed space like a movie; visualizing, achieving your goals, what it would authentically feel like to become your ideal self, noticing the genuine and authentic changes your subconscious shows you to make the pictures/movies and images brighter and clearer, focusing especially on your goal, outcome, ideal self, etc. Take special awareness on the feelings you get while relaxed and in trance, the feeling after a good workout, getting chores done, etc. Make sure that you make the goal/images compelling to the mind. It’s perfectly fine and normal to be dissociated or all over the place, what is important is that it feels good, making the experience ‘richer’ by focussing on the longterm positive effects and feelings of being in trance. Say to yourself 10 times, “each and every trance, I feel more and more ______&_______in every way and it feels great (compounding a suggestion around 10 times reinforces the prior suggestion). When you feel happy, peaceful and satisfied with this: relax, further if you can, and when you do, say to yourself “every time I do self hypnosis I go even deeper relaxed even quicker and it feels great”. You can use this opportunity to embed any other suggestions that you want . 6. Emerging and waking when you get bored, hungry, want a cup of tea or start to go in and out of relaxation and start thinking about normal life again, emerge yourself. To do this you take yourself back into your relaxed, safe place and back up the stairs, counting from 1 up to 10 now. You should give yourself affirmative suggestions as you emerge up the stairs so you feel great and have a wonderful rest of your day!

Happy trancing,

~Fae

#hypnosis #selfhypnosis #meditation #vizualization #spirtuality #self help #holistichealth #relaxation

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pretensesoup · 11 months

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Queer books, day 7/30

Okay, I have a big weakness for Space Opera, even though once you try to think economically about it, you can see that a giant space empire will never work. Like there will never be one planet that is dedicated to growing tea and has no other exports and requires to be hooked into some giant trade network in order to survive. But if there were such an empire, this book.

Ironically, this book is perilously close to my MA work, and also I think Arkady Martine's PhD work, from looking at her biography. It's really about what happens when you are trying to translate, and how impossible that can be. Not just translating words from one language to another, but translating culture. Mahit is sent as ambassador from a small independent station to the heart of the local giant empire, Teixcalaan. To function as an ambassador means you have to make your culture understandable (and palatable) to another group in order to curry favor and push your political agenda. So how does someone who grew up in a place where space is at a premium, births monitored because of population controls, food is vegan because of the problems of raising animals, etc., explain all of that to someone who's always lived not just on a planet but in the wealthiest part of the wealthiest planet? If you live in Londinium, how do you explain your life to someone who lives in Rome? Or if you're living in Manhattan right now, how can you understand the life of someone in rural China? It's difficult. Not saying the words but actually producing the understanding.

This book does a lot of things really well: political intrigue that is actually interesting, poems that are actually pretty good (as a poet, I often have feelings about poems written by novelists in novels), queerness (Mahit's predecessor, Yskandr, who still exists as an implant inside her head, was bi, and Mahit herself is interested in women). The images are gorgeous, the writing is terrific. My one critique is that, when one character mentions that the child she and Mahit are discussing was her own child "of her own body," Mahit is privately horrified--apparently women on her station aren't allowed to actually carry pregnancies, because they could ruin their bodies that way. My feelings about this as a person who has been pregnant aside, I do not for a moment buy that a culture that indulges in recreational brain surgery can't fix someone's pelvic floor. I feel like this is a relatively petty quibble, though.

Key quote:

The coffee was shockingly, blisteringly good: hot but not hot enough to scald, the paper cup warm in Mahit's palms. It had a rich, earthy taste that wasn't anything like the instant coffee on Lsel, and in some better moment Mahit thought she'd really like to drink it slowly enough to think about all the different qualities of the flavor-

‹There are varieties,> Yskandr said, ‹and they all taste different. It's fantastic. But the important part is the caffeine.>

He was right. Even in the few minutes Mahit had been drinking the coffee, she felt more present, more acute, conscious of a faint thrumming in her skin.

I took a class with Maria Headley (I am an acolyte) where she talked about rejecting mid-century minimalism and writing beautiful, maximalist novels. This is an excellent example of that. Write a novel and put everything in. Every fucking thing. Make it beautiful. More. More.

10/10. Go read them.

#pride #lgbtq fiction #lgbtq books #arkady martine #a memory called empire #a desolation called peace #teixcalaan #book review #queer books #thirty days of books

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femmefatalevibe · 2 years

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Hey first of all, I totally love your blog! Second of all, I've decided that this academic year I'll make most of my inner feminine

Do you have any tips for people like me who want to get more into touch with their feminine side? If yes, could you share some of them? Thanks a lot angel🤍✨

Hi love– thank you so much! So excited to hear that you’re looking to get further in touch with your feminine energy this year. Sharing some of my tips below. I hope this perspective is helpful! xx

HOW TO EMBRACE YOUR FEMININE ENERGY:

Set A Standard of Self-Regard: I feel like the whole Divine Feminine movement dances around this topic without directly addressing this principle. Instead of saying to live a life of self-care (definitely prioritize self-care, don’t get me wrong), I think it’s more useful and empowering to view all of your daily habits and routines as a way of respecting yourself.

- Ex: You focus on your studies and don’t procrastinate because you value your time and see the value of your work enough to get it over with. Excelling in your courses matters because the subject ignites a fire in you, you’re passionate about it, and you deserve to pursue your interests/areas of study that lead to your dream career path. If you hate the course and need to do the work, tell yourself that you have enough self-regard to put efficient effort into the coursework because you hold yourself to a certain standard of excellence in your academic life.

- Ex: You go to the gym because you prioritize your physical and mental health. You value feeling (and looking) good. You owe it to yourself to honor this need – we are nothing without our health. The same goes for taking the step to make healthy meals (and remembering to eat). You respect yourself enough to nourish yourself and indulge in the foods’ pleasurable tastes and textures. You deserve to feel light and satisfied every day.

- Ex: You present yourself to the world in a certain way (dress, beauty/hygiene, speech, etc.) because you respect yourself enough to show up in a certain way

- Ex: You take time to explore your communication style, and relationship needs (friendship, professional/academic/family/intimate, etc.) because you owe it to yourself to show up for this person as your highest self and to make those you care about feel good (while still respecting your boundaries)

Find An Aesthetic That Speaks To You: Find clothes, accessories, home decor, a beauty routine, music, books, notebooks, coffee mugs, etc. that speak to you. Refining this aspect of your persona inherently makes you feel more feminine. Dress up every day to feel good. Show up as your highest self, and create a space that visually supports this ideal image. Romanticize your life.

Indulge In A Creative Outlet (or Several): Read compelling books or articles, curate and listen to a playlist that speaks to your soul, dance, draw, write, journal, make a Pinterest board, do your nails, style some outfits for the week, re-arrange your skincare shelf – anything you can do to get inspired and embrace your creative side. These practices will help you feel more connected to yourself, expand your mind, and often set the mood to come up with a new great idea or prime an epiphany about your life or a situation. The mind works best when it focuses on running freely.

Incorporate Daily Self-Care Rituals: Prioritize your favorite cup of coffee or tea in the morning and evenings, romanticize your skincare and shower routines – find products that smell and feel great on your body (and work well for your skin/hair type, of course!). Make time for your daily walk, yoga, or pilates. Do a face mask. Have a playlist to listen to while making dinner. Create space in your day to journal, read, or watch your favorite TV show. Have that square of chocolate you love if you choose. Find little ways to incorporate pleasure into your life that allow you to feel satisfied (without hindering your goals aka drinking a bottle of wine, eating fast food daily, binge-watching Netflix, etc.).

Find Small Ways To Make Everyday More Pleasurable: Maybe it’s the hairbrush and hair-ties you use, the scented soap in your bathroom, a favorite pen or breakfast bowl, the planner you use for school, etc. Make the details count!

Explore Your Sensual Side/Sexuality: I don’t know your age, but these tips should be relevant for anyone in high school or older! Getting in touch with your sexuality and learning that you own it is SO important when it comes to aligning with your femininity (whether engaging in solo/partnered sex or just daily life). To be clear, I think owning your sexuality has more to do with the confidence aspect of it – feeling good in your own body, understanding that you deserve pleasure (and can give it to yourself), and the mind-body connection. Make time to do activities that allow you to get in touch with your innate sensuality: Throw on some satin PJs, a robe, or lingerie. Get some silk pillows and indulgent perfume/skincare. Curate a playlist that gets you in the mood. Have a glass of wine (if you’re of age) and some chocolate, nuts, or red/purple fruits.

Indulge in Self-Pleasure: Let go of any shame. Understand you have the power to feel good and deserve to understand what it means to be a (or soon-to-be) woman. Claiming ownership over this part of your life allows you to set boundaries because you’re never going to hand over this power to someone else. They have the privilege to indulge in pleasure with you – not give it to you. I think this is a super important lesson for teens to understand because you make better decisions when the time comes when you already know what you want, like and don’t like (to an extent – you catch my drift), and have sexual standards/boundaries from the beginning. Now, THAT’s feminine energy.

Find Divine Feminine/Femme Fatale Inspiration: Read books on related subjects (I have a Femme Fatale Booklist for every area of life linked HERE), study TV/movie characters who embody these energies and other feminine muses (my favorites are Blair Waldorf, Olivia Pope, Andy Sacks, Michelle Obama, Monica Bellucci, etc.), read Women Love Power content, take Ayesha’s quiz, etc. Educate and envelope yourself in the feminine world. Invite this content into your circle of influence.

Some resources to unleash your inner femme fatale are linked HERE, HERE, and HERE

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swordheld · 2 years

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how do you deal with insecurity? i cannot stand the sight of myself in the mirror every day. sometimes it has my blood boiling that i have to live in this kind of body. i feel inferior to other individuals who are far more talented and attractive than i am. it just hurts every day to live like this. sorry for the vent :(

hi, darling. this is a little long, so before we begin, please know that i am mentally covering you with a soft blanket, and gifting you a warm cup of tea.

image is a very difficult thing. being comfortable with your body and how you are perceived is a very difficult thing. i struggle with insecurity daily, whether that is within image, academic, self-doubt, or otherwise. knowing that you are not alone, and that it is an innate human experience to compare ourselves, is a very important starting place, in my mind. it’s something universal, but it is not something that lasts forever.

for me specifically, it's been years and years of a long journey consisting of actively working on ways to improve my own view of myself; and even then it's only been in recent years that i’ve developed an inner questioning of gender, performance, and who i am when no one else is around (finding out who you are to you). it’s all been accumulative, it’s all been a collecting of who am i today, and the generous mystery of who i will be tomorrow.

remembering that i have a choice in who that person is, that my choices today influence the results tomorrow, next month, years from now, has been an enlightening perspective to hold onto through that process.

keep in mind: there are many aspects that come with image that we cannot control (weight, skin, hair, ways of experiencing/mental processing, etc.), they are given by our genetics, and are predispositions that are out of our hands from the beginning. knowing this: just because you have something that may be different from the conditioned norm of societal expectation does not mean that they are bad, or that you are, by extension.

give yourself space for kindness is above all, my most important advice. remember that you are the universe experiencing itself, and it is a hard thing to be human. remember in your best and worst moments that you are doing your best (always relative, best for today, best for now, this is a constantly shifting thing) and that’s okay. go easy on yourself. you can always try again.

here is the cheesiest and yet most constant piece of advice i have kept: if you want to change, make sure that you are changing for yourself. sit down with whatever medium you prefer, and think: what do you want to feel like? what things would you like to try that might improve your health, your mental wellbeing, your outlook on existing, and not just solely your perceived body/self?

it's all too easy to let yourself slip into things that feel like quick-fixes: eating disorders, fad diets, working yourself to the bone (both mind and body can be targets for this). but many of them can be harmful in the long term. the thing that has worked for me the most has been a slow, ongoing process of rewriting the way that i instinctively interact and think about things, and it has results that are not so easily undone like the quick-fixes might have.

one of them is something very lovely that has helped me a lot in finding a way out of feeling inferior to your peers: flip the feeling on its head. make the negative association into something positive. for ex.: someone you know is incredibly good at something that you’re not? that’s amazing for them! they probably put a lot of work and time and effort into it; so ask them about, learn about it, meet them on a level where both of you can meet in the middle and grow from there. people love talking about the things they love, and you’ve already learned more than you knew before, just by speaking to them. you might even make friends this way as well!

surrounding yourself with a support system has been one of the most beneficial solutions for me. having people who remind you of different ways of viewing, the kind that bring you back to your perspective of healing, who lift you up and help you come back to yourself. they’re the most wonderful of friends, thank them, and help them back whenever you can. they’re the very best.

ways of distracting your mind from giving into those whirlpools of negative thought are also wonderful ideas. hobbies, taking walks, talking with friends, going on errands; anything that gets you out of your normal environment and encourages your mind to focus on other things. i love finding small little things that do make me happy; like walking and hearing birdsong, being happy that i am able to hear and can experience my life in that way. or finding a small freckle on my skin that bloomed in the sun, and how cool the body is as a piece of being. just find one piece, and more and more will show themselves to you.

overall, remember that this is not an easy thing, and i am sorry about that part of it. it is something you have to work on every day, and healing is not a linear process. there will be bad days, and i encourage you to prepare for them, instead of going on the hope that they do not happen. it’s the way of things, how there is always an equilibrium, the expanse of emotions we get to feel and put in perspective amongst everything else.

remembering that it will not be like this forever is also a small piece of knowledge / hope that you can keep with you. one day you will be able to look back and see just how far you’ve come, the progress you’ve made, the curve of your joy and contentment and comfort reaching beyond anything graphable. it is not an impossible thing, and it is already there within you, right now.

i wish you all the best, and i am sending you all my love. 💌

#birdsong.#q&a.#happiness will find you. light will find its way to you. nothing is impossible / and everything is waiting for you.#hold onto hope like it makes you / and it will.#you got this love. 💕

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writefightandflightclub · 1 year

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Glad you’re back! Your insights are always appreciated, and thus, a question:

I’ve been putting off watching Ex Machina for the first time, despite (or probably because) the fact that I’ve already fallen in love with the character/Oscar’s portrayal of Nathan (in large part because of your wonderful writing!). I tend to do this when I have a new actor blorbo bc I let myself enjoy things like a repressed 1950s housewife, but I’m working on it. So I’m making it a goal to watch the movie, and that way I can start writing for Nathan with more concrete understanding.

What warnings/advice do you have for someone about to watch the movie for the first time? Spoilers are fine bc I’ve already read the synopsis AND I found out if you Google “Ex Machina script” that thing’s online??? For free???

Hope this makes sense, if all else just know it’s great you’re back!

Hiiii! Thanks so much for the warm welcome back! That’s so kind,

So amazing that you’re going to watch the movie finally!! 😀 That’s some impressive restraint too. I could never.

I’m honoured that you trust my insights, but honestly I’d generally say just dive in and let it hit you. I’m excited for you to have your own unique experience with it, and I wouldn’t want to colour your experience too much with my own ramblings!

BUT, I am still going to share some things which sprang to the forefront of my mind when you asked the question. Mainly bc I love this film and I can’t resist the opportunity to talk about it and about Nathan, so thank you for the opportunity to do just that! 😆🧡 But I really would advise you to watch it first without reading them 😝

1) Nathannnnn 🥵 He pretty. He beautiful. I luff.

2) There are two neat divisions in the movie when it comes to the character of Nathan, imho. a) things we know for sure about Nathan and b) things we know for sure that Nathan needs Caleb to think about Nathan. One of the things I love about his character is the ambiguity, guesswork, and room for interpretation. Especially as the audience is placed in Caleb’s position and therefore our sympathies, assumptions, empathies, suspicions etc. more naturally fall on the side of Caleb’s interpretation. (Also bc there’s such lovely squashy room for interpretation, I’m sure that however you currently “see” him, the movie has enough wiggle room that you should safely be able to hang on to that version - if you still want to afterward, that is!)

3) Some / many of the Nathan + bot scenes are… uncomfortable. They’re… supposed to be?! Especially as we’re seeing them from Caleb’s POV, and with some major assumption of sentience on behalf of the bots.

4) Why do all his clothes seem too long for him?! I know he can afford a tailor 😂

5) I know the design of Nathan’s compound isn’t for everyone. Personally, it’s just my cup of tea. I’d move in tomorrow and wouldn’t change anything, besides maybe replacing all of his paintings 😂 I also think the movie is a great example of the set design / setting really adding a lot to our interpretation of the character, the tone and feel of the movie. Here’s an article I enjoyed on the subject:

6) It’s wild to me that this movie is presented as “with Oscar Isaac”, as though he’s minor to the piece. To me it is his movie, he’s the central character, and I don’t understand how he can be suggested as having a side role.

Please let me know what you think once you’ve seen it?! I’d love to hear your takeaways and whether your interpretation of him changes at all after watching. I really hope you enjoy it but ofc however you feel about it and about our collective grumpy husband is 100% valid! I enjoy hearing all the different takes on it all so much.

Have fun! 🧡🥳🧡🥳🧡

#ex machina #nathan bateman

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juspeczyk · 2 years

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answering art questions for my beloved @belzebub430

1. Art programs you have but don't use

procreate T-T i don’t draw often enough anymore to keep my ipad reliably charged, and it takes so long to charge up when i DO want to draw, it’s a whole thing. also gimp because it looks like the version of photoshop i’m used to except everything is two inches to the left and i don’t have the patience to learn it properly

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

you expect me to think about what direction my blorbo is facing? you expect me to think and not just vibe with what looks good at the moment?

3. What ideas come from when you were little

my comic/novel princess huntress and by extension my d&d homebrew world! always loved princesses, always loved fantasies, was a tiny lesbian who thought the beast was way cooler than the prince and belle was dumb for de-beasting him

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

plants and buildings :(

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

if it’s drawn, i usually post it somewhere; if it’s a collage, i usually keep it to myself. probably 5% of my collages are shared in the group chat or in person

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

i was a tim burton child and a my chemical romance teen so now i lovingly craft deep, dark undereye bags and shadows on to 90% of the people i draw regardless of how much sleep they get

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

oil painting!!! i dabble in acrylics and watercolors, but i LOVE the texture and color blending abilities of oil, and it’s so so so so so so gorgeous and if it wasn’t so expensive i would dabble in it too. also clay. also stained glass. also prop foam. i did set design in high school and got to make an entire brick building facade for the glass menagerie out of foam and heat tools it was SO FUN

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

markers :/ like they’re great and i still use them but they’re just for fun now, not something i really invest practice in

9. What are your file name conventions

usually [character name/s] [situation/theme depicted] .png

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

veils, jewelry, plate armor

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

whatever playlist relates to what i’m drawing

12. Easiest part of body to draw

hands cause they can be a little funky or a little simplistic and it still looks fine cause hands are just Like That

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

every glassblower ever

14. Any favorite motifs

heresy and sacrilege >:3c

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

my bedroom mostly, i do love drawing outside but i usually get too distracted by the world

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

inking... i’m not BAD at it but it can smell my fear

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

never eat (food on paper!!! bad!!! no!!!), sometimes fix a cup of coffee or tea, set it aside to cool, and then forget about it forever

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

Y’ALL ARE BREAKING YOUR SUPPLIES??????

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

plants, kitchenware

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

noses and hands uwu

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

hyper-realistic painting!! oil, acrylic, digital, it’s all fucking gorgeous and jaw-dropping

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

none. don’t be like me

23. Do you use different layer modes

if i color it yes, if i’m just sketching i usually only change the opacity

24. Do your references include stock images

how do you use references WITHOUT stock images

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

no clue

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

little mini comic of the joker and harley quinn from like 2016 that everyone on tumblr thought was the lead singer of a boy band

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

i start with rough sketches and get more detailed as i go, but i usually just work on one piece at a time, no separate warm-ups or anything

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

i’ve submitted stuff to the county fair (and won honorable mentions!), library competitions, and some of my comic pages from college were displayed there for multiple years!

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

whatever tv shows i’m into at the moment

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

all of them. everyone should be praising me and giving me money at all times forever.

#piri.txt

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shalomlakhmiriam · 5 months

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𝔊𝔯𝔢𝔢𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔯𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔰!

This is a Catholic blog so if that is not your cup of tea then I suggest you leave respectfully!

So hi! If you are new here, welcome!

My name is Chloe, I am a goth and I am a converted Catholic of 2 years!

Let’s start off with my username, what does it mean? It simply means Hail Mary in Hebrew! Speaking of Hebrew, I will refer to Jesus as Yeshua and Mary as Miriam on this blog, I personally believe in addressing them by their Semitic names, it just feels more respectful :)

So I’ll go ahead and tell some things about my journey!

I grew up in a very Protestant house hold. I’m a Texan so ofc my parents were hardcore Baptist. My oldest brother converted to Catholicism when he was 18 so my mom wouldn’t kick him out. Since I am only 15, I am a closeted Catholic as we speak with my family. I haven’t told my parents or other siblings besides my brother and one cousin. So to keep my faith I hide my rosary under my bed and holy water in my back pack. Luckily when my mom is not home I have candles with prayers on the back to cleanse my room. I’m look for some good incense but wanna make sure I buy the right one for me.

What converted me was my brother speaking of his faith after I came to him with questions. Why don’t Baptists speak of Mary? Where did all these different images come from of her? Why did my parents hide every Catholic item they found of mine and shamed me for it? Etc. After learning the truth of the one true church, I took a real dive onto Catholic apps like Hallow and Catholic tik tok, with an open mind and heart. What convinced me that this was real? The virgin of Guadalupe! She will always have a place in my heart, her story sealed my faith from now until forever.

What saint do I pray to most? Definitely Saint Kateri Tekakwitha!! As a native myself who’s of a persecuted religion, her story inspires me to love Yeshua, even when difficulties will arrive. She’s also helped me with many scars on my body to heal, if you are not familiar with her I totally recommend you search for her story!

So why am I here? I’m here to meet new people in the Catholic community and just chill while rebloging things I love! I also want to learn more about my faith and teach others of it!

Ich auch spreche ein bisschen deutsch! Parlo anche un po' di italiano! :)

My asks are always open for words of wisdom or questions!

What will I post? I do poetry, art and quotes from saints I admire!

Well that’s all I got! Anyone can interact or message me, I won’t mind! :)

Have a blessseeeddd dayyyy‼️🫶🏼

#catholic #catholiscism #st Kateri #hail mary #christianity #jesus #jesus christ #faith in jesus #ave maria

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skyabove · 2 years

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Do Skykids have organs/ need to breathe?

With the addition of the diving mechanic in the current season, and the “breath” bar which depletes while underwater, it has made me think about the question of “do Skykids need to breathe air, and if so does this mean they have lungs?”

(long post)

Based on in-game information, it is implied that Skykids are not organic creatures, like a human, but are instead “animated constructs” - clay or stone or whatever other material creatures, made by and given life by another being (Megabird). They are made to collect and contain Winged Light, while being robust enough to survive through the realms, free the Spirits and make it through Eden. We see light coming from inside of them, through their “flame core” in their chest, and through their eyes - which they don't seem to need to see, as they choose to have them closed when maskless, with no impact on their movement. They have noses, that may or may not have a function, and no visible mouths.

However there are some things we see them do that suggests that they do have internal organs. With the tea set items, we see them drink the “tea”, and further with one of the upcoming items. We don't know what the tea is, or if there's even anything in the cup, they might just be mimicking the action. Grandma’s “food” is just absorbed through the Flame like normal light.*(see end)

We also occasionally see Skykids breathing in various emotes, such as the deep breath from Prophecy, or the shiver from Forest, or the bubble blowing from Assembly etc. This could be put down to them just mimicking the actions (and the fancy add-ons like the breath steam and the bubbles just being for our benefit and not actually existing in-universe)

There is also that test message in the beta version that mentioned Skykid “innards tasting sweet” (I don't have an image unfortunately, I think it was a “roses are red” style poem)

So. Do Skykids have organs, or are they just empty vessels filled with light like previously assumed?

From what we know, and trying to stick to that as closely as possible, I believe that the “vessel of light” is still true. I don't think Skykids have organs, but that they still need to breathe.

If a Skykid is a humanoid shaped vessel, that's full of light, that explains the glowing eyes, and the fact that their bodies are lighter in the centre and darker on their limbs, since the torso contains all/most of the light goo. (you can look at my other post about Skykid anatomy here, it's a little old at this point but I'll be skipping over some stuff I've already said) This would also support the fact that they are very light - they can be blown around by the wind very easily, make a ringing noise when hit, and barely leave footprints in the sand or snow - they are hollow, with only the “light goo” inside them.

This also relates to the “Skykid innards are sweet” comment, Krill go after Skykids and creatures of light because they want to “consume your light” (stated on one of the log on screen quotes). If only Dark Creatures want to eat Skykids, we can assume the poem line is from one of them in some form or another, and if they only feed on the light that a Skykid has, their “innards” must be light goo (and therefore light must taste sweet).

So that's their insides. However we also know that the thing keeping Skykids alive is their personal flame (on their red candle, stored in their chest) . If that goes out the only thing that stops them dying is the WL they're holding, which acts as a temporary backup. And flames need oxygen. To keep their Flame alight they need air, and the only times Skykids can have their flame go out, other than being underwater for too long is: sitting in the polluted rain in Forest, sitting in the polluted water in Wasteland/Eden, or getting smacked by enormous rocks of pure corruption. All of these include a Darkstone corrupted material draining their light, starting with the easy to access WL stored light, then the Skykid’s Flame, and then the more deeply rooted WL are targeted. “Drowning” is the only action that results in the Flame going out, without corruption/darkness being present.

Absorbing light from fire or Creatures of Light can reignite a Flame, and fill the breath bar, while absorbing air bubbles only fills the breath bar, which suggests that it is related to keeping the flame alight.

So they breathe, just not with lungs. They suck air in to keep their flame supplied with oxygen, and breathe out what's not needed. This also explains how they are able to create steamy breath during the Shiver emote regardless of whether they are in a cold location, because they are really hot on the inside.

Coming back to the eating/drinking, the food and drink could be made from or with light - light is sweet apparently so maybe the “tea” is made from light liquid. I don't know how they would have done that, maybe it's butterfly juice - or is some other miscellaneous item, that may or may not be edible for organic creatures, that just gets used as fuel and burnt up inside them.

Regardless of what the food/drink is, I would say it is most likely performative rather than practical, recreating a process they have seen for fun, and that absorbing light is their main “food” source.

The only things I don't have an explanation for at the moment, is their occasional heartbeat. It shows up sometimes when holding the hand of a friend, but you also see your vision pulsing in a heartbeat-like pattern when you run out of air. Initially I assumed it was just the “light goo” moving around inside them, but I'm not sure how that would be affected by a lack of Flame. Perhaps without the flame, they are more aware of the pulsing, so it's always there but we don't notice it the same as we are not always aware of our own heartbeats.

And the fact that when you run out of air and start losing WL, the same as when your Flame goes out - and at this point we can safely assume they are the same thing - you keep your appearance? You don't become generic and grey like you normally do without your Flame? Really I can't see why this shouldn't happen, it is a situation of the same danger level as when you lose your appearance after losing your flame. Maybe it was an oversight? Or TGC has some other reason for keeping your character in colour, so they are more visible in the dark water or something? - Quick comment: Your flame is unavailable while underwater (for obvious reasons) but rather than just disabling the button, it seems to give the message from when you've lost your flame. It might be that they have set everyone to have no flame while in water, so you can't “lose it” visually later because the game thinks you already don't have it?

In summary: Skykids do breathe - to keep their Flames lit - but don't have internal organs. Instead, their insides are a “sweet” light goo that can burn up items they ingest.

* I'm only looking at ingame features, and not the large amount of official art showing them getting ready to eat crabs, since it is basically played as a joke, but you could apply the same conclusion as the other food objects.

#thats the most sense i can make of it at the moment #obviously this is looking at it from an ingame perspective just trying to figure out how it works #everyone has different views one how human-like the Skykids are and this doesnt 100% fit my own headcanons But its the most #logical conclusion i can reach based on the info we're shown #I have no idea how Skykids manage to swim though #they are so light you'd think if they stopped moving they'd just zoom back up to the surface #also we hear the rain in forest hissing as it hits us. and yes that could partly be because its acidic but also it cant be That acidic #because when the rain stops we can just chill in the puddles fine? so is the hissing it evaporating as it hits us? if thats the case #shouldnt we steam when we get out the water #maybe part of the splash animation when we enter the water is steam?#who knows #canon compliant headcanons #analysis #scotl #sky children of the light #thatskygame

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frosted-night · 3 years

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Jack Frost Designs Review

Yes it’s finally his time. This is going to include his book designs including previous incarnations in said books. There are more movie concept designs than book so, let’s dig in shall we?

This was in fact the first ever Jack Joyce designed while he came up with The Guardians Of Childhood. He even comes with his own backstory! (Which was cut. Sorry Joyce posts walls of text so it’s a girthy read.)

So instead of a young mischievous trickster, we got a much more depressing story of Jack. (Jack by default is sad obviously) but this one... It kind of hits differently and almost reminds me of the story he crafted for Pitch. A dad who tried to defend his family but through tragic events was ripped from them and changed completely. Design wise, he’s a lot more tree than snow. There doesn’t exist a colored version of this so we’ll never know if he sported winter and dull dead leaf colors rather than grassy greens.This Jack has a weird presence to him, I can’t put my finger on it. Rating: 6/10 He’s really neat! Just a little too Autumn feeling rather than a blend of both Autumn and Winter.

Nightlight feels like the baby evolution if Jack was a pokemon and that's what I’m gonna stick with. Below is a more recent version of him colored.

In all honesty that one is easier on the eyes proportion wise because sometimes Joyce has ‘interesting’ anatomy choices but we aint going into that today. It’s interesting how his hair somehow looks shorter and longer than Jack’s at the same time. Could be because the longer strands float seamlessly but star boy hair physics what can ya do. It’s a little hard to tell what is his skin and what is his armor, so that is a casuality in making a character only have one or two colors in their color scheme. I love other artist’s depictions of Nightlight but the canon one feels a little weak color wise. Rating: 5/10 Sorry, get some better LEDs and then come back.

Here we have a book Jack but I can’t entirely recall if this was used in the books or not. I digress. This design looks like him still wearing very Nightlight-esque armor/clothing and slowly growing into his new persona as Jack Frost. The intricacies are hard to make out but we’ll work with it. This one is very interesting to me because he very much looks like an older teen close to young adult. His hair looks very fluffy too. Not many complaints about this one but not much praise either.

Rating: 6/10 Not great but doesn’t stand out that much.

Remember when I said Joyce had ‘interesting’ anatomy decisions? Jack looks like he has half a head here and it bothers me GREATLY. This is the adult Jack design he went with. Supposedly he likes the opera and he sure looks it. This! Exists!! Kind of wish it didn’t. The outfit is nice but it just doesn’t fit Jack as a whole. This just screams to me that it’s someone else with a similar-ish hairstyle.

Rating: 3/10 Guess he’d be the...Phantom Of The Opera. (I’ll go home and so should he.)

And finally the final Jack. This is the one that almost exactly resembles the Jack we got in the movies(Probably because it was made after the movie but w/e) but just add a cape on him. I can’t really tell if hes got a hoodie and a cape, or just a cloak+hood on top of a sweatshirt. It isn’t too important because my thoughts on this one are obvious. Rating: 10/10 Edna Mode would have a field day with you boy.

MOVIE DESIGN TIME

Joyce claims this is a design he drafted when Leonardo DiCaprio was considered to voice Jack and I can kind of see that with how his face is drawn here. This Jack looks a lot more like a warrior and less of that trickster look. I can’t say I’m a fan of the weird antenna his hood has but his sword is really cool looking.

Rating: 4/10 Nice bow and sword but it can’t save your fashion choices.

This looks like a lanky 11-13 year old who would put rocks or slugs in my shoes and relish in my disgust. He has the exact look of a snot nose kid and I’m unsure how to feel about it.

His various hairstyles drafted here sort of make him softer looking or just more of a snot nose, no in between. Maybe even an Anime Protagonist.

The top right one almost looks like Hiccup from How To Train Your Dragon if you squint. It’ll be a little hard to rate them all as one individual but why not.

Rating: 5/10 I don’t hate them but they aren’t my cup of tea.

AH- IS THAT A FUCKIN GREMLIN?

Oh wait no it isn’t he looks like a 10 year old. Whatever don’t feed him after midnight. The staff’s design of not being shaped like a G is an interesting tidbit but the whole design looks like he’s really young or like a troll etc. This Jack looks like he thinks girls have cooties uses outdated slang.

Rating: 4/10 This is me being generous.

It honestly looks like he hiked his pants up all the way to his chest. A late teen with horrid fashion choices once again. Not many other thoughts here.

Rating: 2/10 Get a sweater on or something.

This is one is very interesting looking to me. His clothes looked a lot more leather based and very human-like. The tatters, tears and frays all make him look like he was a victim of an accident that never changed his clothes. It makes me wonder if this Jack had the same death as the final movie Jack or something else entirely. Either way, this one looks like hes a mid to late teen which really adds to my intrigue.

This was another image that greatly resembled the design so I included it here. It almost looks like his skin is blue here which is pretty neat to me at least. He’s also got leaf motifs here, which from the first Jack design Joyce made, we can see a pattern here.

Rating: 8 /10 I was originally weirded out by his head but now its not so bad.

This Jack is definitely dressed more like a nature boy rather than him having human influenced fashion and it’s an appealing touch. The tiny leaf sprouting from his staff is also kind of cute since the designers seemed to want to put leafs somewhere on his designs. His hairstyle is also very cute but it reminds me of Sasuke Uchiha in a sense. (Not a setback for me at least)

Rating: 7/10 13 year old Jack is going thru a phase.

I thought this Jack didn’t show up again in story boards but I was wrong!

They look a little different from each other but just similar enough to pair together, so bare with me. The first one obviously has looser pants, slightly longer sleeves and got his leaf motif going. This second Jack is a VERY green. It gives the impression that this Jack made his clothes out of plants and natural materials. Again I’m not wholly sure if greens fit his color scheme but they sure went for it for a while. I can’t say I’m a fan of it because it heavily reminds me of Peter Pan.

However a very similar looking Jack could be found in this storyboard. It doesn’t look as green as the other storyboards made it out to be and looks more like dead grass. Which is a pretty nice touch.

Rating: 5/10 I don’t hate it but it just doesn’t vibe yknow.

Speaking of a vibe...hoo this certainly has one. This Jack isn’t old but certainly doesn’t look very young, maybe in the 20-30 range, thats just me. He has facial features that remind me of Pitch but resembles the Jack Frost of Santa Clause 3

That being said, I wondered if him looking similar to Pitch was in the storyline of them being brothers.(Which was a scrapped thing, who knew.) He’s a bit more menacing in this design but certainly seems like he relishes in his work.

Rating: 4/10 I’d make it a lower score but I gotta give it props

NOW THIS JACK IS KINDA INTERESTING. This one looks like he’s 16 and going through a grunge phase. He’s gonna play Nirvana loudly and not turn it down even if you tell him too. His staff itself has mini icicles hanging off of it and leafs look stuck to his shirt. Did you glue or staple those on Jack? His hair also looks much longer than his other designs and I kind of dig it( Shut up I’m bias.) I’m not wholly sure why else this design has stuck with me but it just has something about it that I just love. I wish there was a full body drawing of it.

(He also kinda has the same hair as the Jack Frost in Runescape but I wont go on about that hoo hoo)

Rating: 9/10 *Bad Boy by Cascada plays in the distance*

This one definitely feels like middleschooler trying to be in a band. His sticks just resemble drumsticks to me what can I say. I’m a big fan of his shoes and his color scheme screams a hibernating tree in winter. His hair also looks like it’s covered in frost rather than it being wholly white, which is very neat!! He looks like he wants to fight but has slight hesitance. Overall a very balanced Jack.

Rating: 8/10 He’s ready for band practice

Not many thoughts here, I just found these tiny Jack designs cute. His hoodie being a jacket instead just adds to the charm of this one.

No talk to him he angy.

Rating: 6/10 fun sized boi

Now this Jack resembles the one earlier that dressed entirely in leather brown colors, however he clearly is different than that one. I’m gonna say it, he looks like a zombie or undead in this design and its pretty fucking gnarly. I don’t know whats going on with his hair but I’m gonna assume it’s just the wind making it look like that. He just has the vibe that he was once human but was turned into something else entirely. It isnt in uncanny territory but borders that. This version of Jack meeting Pitch and the others would have been *very* interesting. Rating: 7/10 Eat a twinkie Jack you’ll feel better.

The final design! I can’t complain much about this one. The way his staff subtly has a G shape and a hexagon(his signature shape) is a wonderful touch. Additionally, the way the frost is gathered mostly where his hand is such an intricate detail. His signature hoodie is iconic at this point so I can’t bad mouth that either.(I can’t anyway because there's no complaints from me here.) Although, I never understood the leather straps that his pants had or their functions. I couldn’t find any colonial outfits that resembled Jack’s pants so its a total mystery to me at least.

And I can’t go on about this design until I mention the snowflake pattern in his eyes

Pure beauty. It’s at a hue of blue that almost looks impossible to have, combined with the electric blue color of the snowflake in his eyes. The amount of detail in this movie amazes me to this day. Rating: One Great Blizzard <3/10

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januaryembrs · 3 years

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CLIPPED WINGS | 1

CHPT 1. CAGED BIRD

Laszlo Kreisler x female!reader series [SEASON ONE ONLY]

description: Laszlo needs to walk the dark path of the sick person murdering all the young boys. In order to catch their killer he must enlist the help of one.

length: nearly 4k

main masterlist clipped wings masterlist

ꜝ Trigger warnings for this chapter only ꜝ this chapter is rated 18+ as it will include, SEXUAL THEMES AND VIOLENCE [canon to ‘the alienist’], violence, gore, depictions of injury, blood, decapitation, dismembering, foul language, drug use/drugging, alcohol, death, etc. Please only read if you’re comfortable with the mature/gory/explicit themes present in Alienist. MINORS DO NOT ENGAGE.

Discovering Georgio Santorelli’s body rocked New York to its very core. Not only had a small boy been murdered, but his remains had been abandoned on a bridge, savagely and explicitly left for the civilians to see as if to wave it in the noses of society what despicable things a person was truly capable of.

It affected everyone involved from the moment they’d heard of the crime. A boy maimed and killed was nothing to sweep under the carpet, no matter how quickly the police had tried before it got released there was a feral butcher of children on the loose. And yet, the news spread like wildfire, the repulsive image John Moore had sketched earlier that week burning into their skulls likely for the rest of their lives.

It was no surprise to Sara that Doctor Kreiszler had started behaving strangely. It was only natural for a man of his profession to begin thinking of the ‘why’s’ for such an act while everyone searched for a ‘who’. Laszlo knew that catching such a beast required building up a picture of this person’s thought process before they could start pointing fingers at whoever could have committed such an act.

Georgio had only been a tiny boy, known for frequenting the danger of twilight for lewd reasons. He interacted with many untrustworthy men on a daily basis who could have easily overpowered him. Heaven knows they were sick enough to seek the company of juvenile boys, so it wouldn’t be a step too far to assume they were competent of other nauseating acts such as murder and dismemberment.

A multitude of people in New York could have killed Georgio, what Laszlo wanted to know was who would?

What kind of thought went behind gouging out the poor boy’s eyes, or mutilating the rest of his body, or even the place it had all happened?

That was an entirely different question in itself, one he needed to figure out if they had any shot of catching the sick creature who did this. If they wanted to know his face, they would need to know his mind first.

He expressed all of this to Sara, the first night in which they had ever truly started discussing the details of the crime and exactly who it was they were searching for. Sara knew if they had any chance of catching the murderer, it would not be in the hands of the neanderthals of policemen she had the unfortunate opportunity to work alongside. She knew despite the gruesome nature of the murder, Georgio’s line of work meant it would probably be brushed off as a meaningless death, one he had coming to him for such provocative actions.

Sara knew she needed a man, an alienist, like Laszlo who looked at facts over his own judgement if she was going to excel in the case.

He had invited her to his home, politely asked Mary to pour her a cup of tea and the two sat either side of his lounge, staring into the roaring fire as they discussed the vicious act of Santorelli’s murder.

“I feel helpless, Doctor. The men, it’s clear they don’t care about Georgio’s death, but I fear this killer could go on to strike again,” Sara gushed somberly, sipping her tea as she’d finished. Knowing what the boys did for a living made her stomach churn from them being so young, children in fact, but none of them deserved to die unnoticed and their justice not served.

“I share your trepidation, Sara. A man like this will no doubt have a deep bloodlust that will soon need to be quenched once more. One does not simply murder a young boy and rip out his organs and then go on to continue in everyday society,” Laszlo agreed, nodding his head slowly. His eyes never left the fire, Sara noted, as he remained lost in thought.

“How do you propose we catch this monster then, Doctor Kreiszler?” The blonde woman asked, surveying his still face for any hint as to his thoughts.

Laszlo took a moment, and Sara wondered if she should ask him again, thinking he hadn’t heard her over the volume of his own mind racing. However his lips parted and he began.

“I think it best, for an alienated person such as our killer, that we enter his mind in every way we can. There is very little we can do looking at him from the outside inwards. No, we must find what makes him tick. What drove him to kill Georgio in such an abominable way? What made him choose Georgio in particular, why such a young, innocent boy?” Laszlo explained, wetting his mouth with a small lick, before tilting his head in thought at the fire. He looked hesitant.

“Say what’s is on your mind, Kreiszler, I beg of you. There will be no judgement, only learning,” She assured, making the alienist turn his head towards her in consideration.

“I'm certain cold-blooded killers walk among us. They're out there now, hidden, yet their motives are understandable, but this one is different. His acts are so wretched, so evil that... only if I became him, if I were to cut a child's throat myself... if I run my knife through a helpless body and pluck innocent eyes from a horrified face, only then would I come to truly understand what I am. Only then would I recognize that what drives me is not an absence of emotion at all. Rather, a torrent of feeling. The kind that gives meaning and purpose to my own blackened soul. I must see life as he sees it. Feel pain as he feels it. Take the same path he takes. Yes. I must follow this wherever it goes. Even if it leads me to the darkest pit of Hell.”

Sara mulled over his words. She hadn’t doubted it herself to come to know a sick mind would require another equally as capable of committing such atrocities. She knew Laszlo had merely been speaking metaphorically, that he would never recreate the gory death of the Santorelli boy. Not even a fully grown man would Laszlo ever be inclined to murder in such a macabre manner, or harm full stop for that.

But she knew exactly who would, who already had.

“I think I know someone who has already walked a path most similar to his, Doctor Kreizler.”

---------------

The next morning, Sara was knocking on Laszlo’s door at ten AM sharp, her carriage prepared and waiting for their passenger to arrive. The horses tapped their feet to the ground impatiently just as the Doctor came to the door, dressed smartly as Sara had instructed him to be.

They exchanged greetings before he followed her down the steps of his townhouse and held the door open for her to enter. It wasn’t until they were five minutes away from their destination that Laszlo realised where they were.

The Nightingale Women’s Asylum.

He had indeed heard of the institution which housed troubled and mentally unstable women too dangerous or problematic to be in the circulation of society, both to themselves and others.

Laszlo held his questions in the comfort of his mind as they exited the carriage and he followed Sara up the stone path to the manor. It was a huge, shell white building with flowers of all shades framing the sills, a stone water fountain in the middle of the path which circled around it depicting a girl dancing with a goose as the water fell around them with graceful splashes. The two of them walked to the large, cream coloured doors which stood wide open to let the fresh air circulate the building. Laszlo said nothing, trusting Sara’s judgement on whatever it was they were doing at the Nightingale Institution, and simply followed her into the foyer, and to the large front desk where a woman in a nurse’s uniform sat, scrawling away at a notebook.

“May I help you?” The woman asked, lifting her head from her work. She tucked a strand of dark brown hair neatly behind her ear and gave the pair of them a kind smile.

“We’re here to see Y/N L/N,” Sara spoke politely, and the nurse hummed, reaching behind her to retrieve a logbook.

“If I could just get you to sign in under her name, both of you if you will, and I’ll just find which room she’s in.” With that, the woman handed them a fountain pen and walked out of the locked hallway to their left.

Sara signed her name first, and it wasn’t until she passed the instrument to Laszlo that he took note of how odd the page of names read.

There were no recent entries, from what the Doctor could tell. The last one dated back a couple of months, and it had been Sara. The first had been just one year prior, also Sara, with only one visit in between them, again the woman stood next to him.

Three visits in one year, only from one person. He felt the pity twinge in his heart, though his curiosity won over his manners.

“Does she not have any family?” He asked Sara quietly, signing his name in the logbook. He felt slightly odd knowing he was the only other person to visit you, his name being different from the three signatures before his glared out at him.

“She did.” Was also Sara said before the nurse came back her smile somewhat dimmed.

“You can come on through,” She ushered them forward with a nod of her head and held the door for them to pass through. They thanked her and followed her down the long hallway. The sound of Sara’s heels against the glossed white laminate rang through the corridor, and it wasn’t until they reached the door at the end that Laszlo even believed it to be inhabited. The second door being swung open revealed yet another hallway, though this one was much wider and brought the sound of voices to Laszlo’s ears. He saw a young woman sat in a chair, staring out of the window at the vast expanse of the gardens. Her lips moved as if to say something, but not a sound came out. Another woman, around middle-aged, spoke with a nurse to the side of the hallway. She looked in distress and it wasn’t long before she was being hushed and guided out with the promise of a hot bath.

They followed the nurse to the last but one door which lined the pristine wall, where they entered a small bedroom. A round window overlooking the very path he had just walked up filtered in the sunlight and lit up the room, which was the same spotless, chalk colour as the rest of the building. A long since wilted bunch of flowers sat on the bedside table, but other than that there was little to no sign that the room was at all lived in.

That is until Laszlo’s eyes fell on the woman on the bed.

Your head turned lazily to the door as it seemed you’d only just realised it had opened. Your eyes looked up at the newcomers sleepily and it became clear, upon closer inspection at your blown pupils, you were not in your right mind. Laszlo suspected they had given you something to put you to sleep or at least so drowsy you would remain placid, and he was proven correct when your words came out slurred as you looked up at Sara.

You said her name, blinking up at her almost confused if she were really in front of you or not. Sweat glistened from your forehead, and your hair was almost matted with how messy it was.

“What have you given her?” Sara almost demanded from the nurse who looked startled at the harsh tone the woman had used. It was true, even Laszlo was shocked to hear it from the lady who had been nothing but collected in the past few days he’d known her.

“Opium powder,” The nurse replied quickly, seeing the confused look on Sara’s face. “She attacked one of the carer’s who tried brushing her hair last week. It was the only way we could calm her.”

“So you’ve kept her drugged for a week,” Sara snapped, turning back around to face where you lay on the bed, looking up at her with wide eyes at the sudden motion. It was clear from you’re deep breathes you were taking a funny turn to all the commotion, and Laszlo guessed from his quiet lapse of thinking that this was a stressful interaction for a woman high off her head.

“Sara.” You murmured again, reaching up to hold her hand. You seemed even too weak to do that however as your fingers simply trailed down her arm and fell limp at the side of the bed. “Where’s my mother?”

Sara sighed, swiping a stray lock of wet hair from your forehead and rubbing your temple with her thumb in a quick, affectionate manner.

“I want her sobered by tomorrow.” Sara ignored your question and released your face, a sudden coldness to her that was nothing like the warm gesture she just gave you.

“Sara, my mother-” You tried to say again, your eyes looking past her this time and straight at Laszlo. You stared at him for a moment, dilated pupils lazily tracing over his neat suit, and lingering for a beat on his sympathetic face. He had no idea who you were or what you had been through to get here but upon thinking about it, perhaps you were a victim of the murderer Sara had talked to him about just the day before. Maybe, Laszlo thought to himself, you had been witness to whatever that beast had done.

Sara described this other serial killer to have murdered fully grown men so grusomely that it had landed them a place imprisoned for the rest of their life, on a plea deal to escape the death penalty he didn’t doubt.

And you, this poor woman who was now staring at him with fat tears welling in your eyes that burned into his head like a branding iron, had likely attended something so horrific that you had simply been too distraught to cope. You reminded him of the canary he’d had as a pet when he was young after his neighbour’s cat tried clawing at it through his iron cage. The bird was fine, a little shaken up but the cat hadn’t drawn blood, and yet after that day he had never again sung the beautifully crafted melody that he once had.

Perhaps he could help you regain your sanity, he wondered but decided he would talk to Sara about it more privately and perhaps on a different day, she seemed furious at the revelation they’d left you out of your wits on an opiate.

“We’ll be back again tomorrow to talk to her,” Sara said, turning around to leave without another word. Laszlo followed her suite, though he spared you one last glance as you lifted your arm out to the retreating woman, tears now freely rolling down your cheeks.

No sooner had the blonde woman stepped out the door, you started screaming her name like bloodied murder, begging her not to leave. The heart-wrenching sound made both her and Laszlo stop in their tracks for the moment. The man could have sworn he saw Sara’s own eyes glistening before she continued her walk back to the carriage, leaving you behind to scream for her, and now your mother too, until your throat went sore and then for a further few hours after that.

Laszlo didn’t say anything when they got into the carriage until they had set off back home. Just as he’d opened his mouth to divulge in some words of comfort towards the woman he knew was wounded by what they’d just witnessed, she spoke over him.

“I trust you’re free the same time tomorrow. I apologise if I assumed such plans for you, I can always speak to her alone.” Sara reassured though he heard the crack in her voice telling him she was indeed weakened by hearing you calling to her so frantically.

“No, Miss Howard. I assure you I’ll be ready the same time tomorrow, no later.” He replied, watching her nod and collect herself a little. He had to admit, it had quite taken him aback at the raw, visceral pain in your voice as you watched the woman walk away, and he was already dying to talk to you tomorrow to see exactly how your mind worked when sober. Would you be all that different? He wondered, or would you still be aloof, looking up at him like a wounded animal stuck in a trap, too tired of chewing at its own leg to get free.

“Thank you, Doctor Kreizler,” Sara said, producing a larger stack of folders from the seat opposite her. He had seen them when he had first gotten into the carriage but he’d simply assumed by the big, bold lettering of ‘CONFIDENTIAL’ across the front that she was dropping them off to the station. She passed them to his good hand, the weight of them almost making him grunt with effort. There had to be at least fifteen filled portfolios here, and he was careful as not to tilt them too much incase any loose paper spilt out of the sides. “I also trust you’ll do your homework before I pick you up in the morning,”

The carriage soon arrived at his home and he stepped out carefully seeing as his only useful hand was occupied, interest piqued as to whatever it was that lay inside the restricted papers.

--------------

Laszlo looked down at the files Sara had presented him with. He nursed a cup of tea still hot enough for him to wince as the liquid slid down his throat, before opening the first of nearly twenty sepia portfolios. He stopped in his tracks as he saw the outlined drawing so similar to the kinds John was capable of producing, though this artist’s lines were much messier and rushed, and Laszlo could see why.

The drawing depicted a body left in an eerily similar state to the one they had found of the boy on the bridge, though he could see this was a grown man in his fifties if the graphite proved accurate. The eyes had both been gouged out savagely, the tongue missing. There were multiple abrasions over his body which was still clothed, and from what he could tell by the chaotic markings the victim had a large wound to his temple which had bled like hell judging by the sketch of a large puddle of blood beneath the victim’s head.

He moved onto the next file without hesitation, brew now long forgotten, only to see another middle-aged man; eyes missing, tongue ripped out, this time with his throat slit cleanly. And then there was another in the next case file, identical to the first two.

He frantically flicked through each folder of the gruesome homicides so similar to the one he’d just witnessed for himself on the bridge. He counted seventeen in total. Seventeen grown men brutally slaughtered and maimed by their killer, left for someone to find in broad daylight like some sick trophy. He was sure that the murderer who had committed such atrocities would easily show no remorse doing such things to a child once their bloodthirst for grown-ups had been quenched. Perhaps Sara had cracked the case already a mere two days after their hunt for New York’s ripper had begun, she was an incredibly smart woman after all.

But that theory came to a halt when he landed on the final portfolio. He flicked the front cover open to reveal a real picture this time, one of two teenaged girls. The blonde one he immediately recognised as Sara in her younger years, smile wide and mid-laugh, stood on a beach of sorts with her arm wrapped around the other girl. He had seen her before, not a few hours earlier when Sara took him down to the institution and presented him to the woman her age in a drug-induced state lying pitifully on the bed. You.

He had originally looked at you with condolence, still unsure of what exactly had happened to land you there but knowing you were dear to Sara judging by the way she brushed your sweat ridden hair out of your face as her expression contorted to sorrow.

Yet he came to another document in your file and it was then he understood what Sara was trying to tell him without the words passing her lips. With a slightly horrified caress of his beard, he leaned back in his chair, his eyes flicking over the rest of your information in the portfolio. Twenty-nine. Mother died young. No siblings or extended family. Average intelligence. Worked as a teacher at the school in Sara’s hometown. And now, as it seemed, you were friend’s with her, good friends even.

Laszlo was a smart man. He had helped an array of cases of alienated individuals, many of which he’d seen by the look on their face when they entered his office that they required his help. But you, you had been simply a quiet woman muttering Sara’s name and crying out for your mother like a little girl. He’d seen you and thought of an innocent little bird, trapped in that cage of an institution, though now he cursed his own stupidity that he should have trusted the higher power’s judgement that you deserved a place there. The Nightingale Institution was a place for individuals a problem to society, after all, you weren’t just some traumatised woman needing help. It was no wonder they’d had to drug you, either.

He had been right about one thing atleast; that the killer negotiated their sentence to escape hanging, and Sara had all but pointed him in the right direction. They were imprisoned for the rest of their life.

Because there it was, your plea deal. To plea insanity and spend the rest of your days in the Nightingale Asylum or face death by hanging.

Those men that had been savagely killed burned into his head, and you had murdered every single one of them. And suddenly, you didn’t seem like an innocent little bird to him anymore.

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just to say once again I’m thanking @clints-lucky-arrow for the inspiration to get this started!! Her new Zemo fic is so amazing I’ll like it here if you wanna check it out I seriously recommend it!! I swear she feeds my love of daniel brühl 🥰

I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. I’m so excited to see where this goes I’m already planning the smut that’s gonna go in this but it won’t be in for another couple of chapters 😳 any interaction is appreciated!!

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kindaeccentric · 3 years

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When I was writing my university bachelor's degree thesis (that I'm still to defend) about Penny Dreadful as a modern adaptation of Frankenstein I noticed how the original novel's homoeroticism is realized by the series in an interesting way.

In the way he is presented, it seems to me that Victor secretly desires men, but thinks that only through creating a perfect one by himself he's allowed to touch other man's skin. His endeavour to pierce the veil between life and death is an excuse, since Victor from the series grew up lonely after the death of his mother and he searches for companionship, for someone who would love him unconditionally, like his mother used to. He believes he can find such love only in a person he creates himself, brings from the dead, and who would see him as his only friend, calm and obedient. Yet his first instinct is to make a man, not a woman, and a handsome man at that.

I can imagine both Rory Kinnear and Alex Price are not everybody's cup of tea (I do find them attractive, they are quite charismatic), but the way the original Creature and Proteus are shown makes them attractive. Proteus we see through Victor's eyes, when he is tending to his body before its even reanimated, when he sketches him (a sure sign of affection) and when he teaches him how to eat in a way that becomes seductive, because of how the camera lingers on his lips and then, in a closeup, on his fingers running down his long throat, immediately bringing to mind erotic imagery. Some may argue that Victor tries to emulate the relationship between his mother and himself taking the parental role and projecting onto Proteus the role of his childhood self, and as much as it is partially true, their relationship bears these marks of hidden desire on Victor's part from the start. The image at the end of the first episode when Proteus is born shows Victor trembling, teary-eyed, looking at the body, a torn and stitched back together, but human body, of a naked man. He's afraid, but not necessarily of the man, but of finally getting what he wanted, it's a fear resulting from excitement. Then the man is touching his face tenderly and Victor, still trembling, cannot stop himself from a little smile. Their faces are softly illuminated by the orange light of the gas lamp, creating an intimate atmosphere of a warm bedroom. Victor practically gasps hearing his own name smoken by Proteus. I doubt all of it was intentional in the way I read it, but it doesn't change the fact that the final scene can be easily interpreted this way.

Then the original Creature, with the violence surrounding his return, presents him as highly masculine, smart, powerful, a direct opposite to the delicate, clueless Proteus Victor could easily form into whatever he wanted. The Creature throughout the entire series is perceived as ugly by some and easily tolerated by others, making his ugliness purely subjective, since, despite his small deformities he remains strangely alluring with his gothic qualities (black long hair, black lips, white skin, yellow eyes, proportional features) of a dark brooding gentleman. With blood on his face he becomes vampire-like (vampires always a symbol of hidden desires and 'depraved' sexuality, the Creature and Victor becoming a mirror image of Vanessa and vampire Mina, both Creature's and Mina's monstrosity an indirect result of Victor's and Vanessa's desire towards having a same-sex companion). The Creature touches Victor's face, a callback to Proteus doing it, but the Creature is not gentle, he smears blood all over Victor's face (blood in vampire narratives was always a symbol for other bodily fluids, that's why it seems so sexy, it also gained another meaning in the 80s, due to the HIV epidemic, which no filmmaker can shake off if they tried, I could discuss it more with The Lost Boys, but no time for that right now).

The dynamic between Victor and the Creature is a reversal of Victor's budding relationship with Proteus, experience winning over innocence. Victor is under another man's rule, and it terrifies him, because it would force him into a position of having to admit his attraction, whereas as the one in control he could have still easily deny it. The Creature, with all his attributes, symbolizes carnal love, he's all 'body', where Proteus was virginal, pious love (to an extent). In one of the scenes where we see Proteus he looks up into the skylight at Victor's apartment and appears angelic, as if in a halo of white light.

It's revealed Victor never had a woman, and the series wants the viewer to believe it's because of his awkwardness and passion for science that consumed him, but his dedication to creating himself male companions instead of searching for a living female one is exactly what makes him seem more queer coded.

It's clear that the lack of paternal figure results in Victor quickly becoming close with older men he encounters (Sir Malcolm, Van Helsing), but it also puts him into a position where he's constantly surrounded by men, with whom he feels more at ease, and is intimidated by women. The rivalry between him and Ethan is that of siblings, until the moment when Ethan teaches him how to shoot a gun. It might be a stretch (it is a bit of a stretch, I admit), but a gun often, especially in horror, alongside a knife, represents manhood and masculine power. Victor allows Ethan to touch him and encourages him to show off with the gun, which is a scene all too familiar from many other movies where the role of Victor is reserved for a woman and the interaction is flirtatious (can't pull examples out of thin air, but if you saw over 1400 movies like me you know I'm not lying). All this adds to the general image of Victor.

The Creature and Victor, when they are on a walk, have a very revealing conversation in which the Creature points out how quick Victor was to grow attached to his more perfect man, and Victor doesn't deny it, he admits that he did in fact feel affection towards Proteus, although the meaning of it as the scorned past partner expressing jealousy over the love he didn't get while someone else did is largely subtext. When the Creature says that he's lonely, Victor answers 'I cannot love you' (paraphrase, because I can't find the exact quote right now) and the Creature, disillusioned, mocks him, 'I do not want what you cannot give' suggesting that Victor, by making himself a meek obedient man, is selfish, cruel, manipulating, and a coward, therefore could not have loved Proteus truly. Then again, Victor cannot bring himself to love his original Creature, because he's not the ideal man he envisioned and by then the Creature being too aware of his flaws of character. The Creature/Caliban/John Clare knows that Victor is 'monstrous', not just because he's someone who desecrates dead bodies, plays God and abandons his creation, but because of his queer desire. It's important that in the case of Penny Dreadful 'monstrosity' signifies many different things, literal (being a vampire werewolf, witch, and so on), metaphorical (bad deeds, like letting your son die a horrible death, cheating, killing etc.) and wholy subjective, merely condemned by ignorant society (Sembene's blackness, Brona's sex work, Lily's want to be equal or greater than men, Vanessa's want for sexual freedom, the Creature's ugliness, Angelique being transgender and other cases), so it's NOT that much of a stretch this time.

We also have the whole problem with Lily. Victor is so attached to Lily (who takes up both Elizabeth's and creature's bride parts in the novel) because he believes that only by possessing a good woman he'll be redeemed for his 'sinful' desires, but he's foolish to think that. This belief reduces a woman to a semi-maternal, semi-virginal angelic ideal with no sexual urges or agency, like virgin Mary. Lily is a true replacement for Victor's mother, and his imagined redemption. As long as she's similar to Proteus, in that she's not sexual, and pure like an angel. Yet Lily is not a woman in that sense. She is another of Victor's creatures, so she partially also takes over the role of the original Creature from the novel, a male. She's not an ideal of a Victorian obedient wife, she has power, or tries to have it, but power in the context of patriarchal society is masculine by nature. The moment she drops her pretenses of a weak delicate wife-like girl Victor does not want her like this. He doesn't want a woman that is sexually liberated, because he doesn't like women in this way, and yet, by being similar to the first Creature (from Victor's perspective, from hers John Clare is similar to Victor-a man, I could delve into Brona's sexuality, but later, this thing is already way longer than I intended) she's 'the man' he wanted.

There is also Henry. Henry Jekyll takes the role of his namesake in the novel, Henry Clerval, Victor's closest friend, and a character most often cited to have homoerotic tension with Victor. It's true that some of the eroticism might be accidental, stemming from the prevalence of homosocial interactions in 'Frankenstein' which in turn is a result of misogynistic nature of 19th century Genevian society and in-novel universe reflecting it, but like I mentioned before, it still feeds into the queer reading of the text and translates beautifully into Jekyll and Victor being both extremely misogynistic towards Lily and their mutual homoerotic tension. In the scenes where Henry purposes his plan to Victor he practically seductively purrs it into his ear, Lily becomes merely a female buffer that allows for that interaction, a female presence which is an excuse for male closeness (here I have a couple of examples actually: Dead Ringers, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Scream (in a roundabout way, through murder) and a couple others, but that deserves its own article). I won't even mention more references to the novel, because that's a lot already.

Penny Dreadful, although I believe largely unintentionally, expands on what is already there through the changes it introduces in relation to the novel's plot. I have nothing else smart to say, I just think it's worth considering.

*I use the word 'queer', because that's the umbrella term we use in academic writing for years now and even our lgbt+ group at university is called 'queer', so don't come at me with stupid takes

#Penny Dreadful #queer readings #Frankenstein #Victor Frankenstein #lily frankenstein

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