#so we went to another restaurant and I barely ate anything and now I have no appetite for dinner and I feel bad for ruining the afternoon | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

natureplay · 10 months

Text

୨୧Chapter VIII • Motorcycle Rides

୨୧Masterlist

↫Previous Chapter | Next Chapter ↬

Word count: 1.8k

You won the first round of the game. It was probably because of those drinks you had, but you felt confident enough to ask Leon to play another one.

Claire is standing by just observing the two of you, cheering for you, making comments here and there just to tease Leon.

You’re enjoying yourself pondering whichever shot would be the best. You bend over propping one leg over the table, careful to not move any balls from their position and take aim.

Your stick hits the cue ball, sending it spiralling towards the pink-striped ball. It falls in one of the pockets and you stand up with a big smile on your face. Only one left, then the 8-Ball. Even though it’s only your second game, you’re starting to get the hang of it quickly.

It’s Leon’s turn now. He skims over the entire table for a while. Pacing around with a serious look on his face.

“Hurry up!” Claire hurries.

You’re watching him closely. Leon finally gets into position. He gets ready, drawing the cue stick back and forth then it finally happens. The stick makes contact with the cue ball which pockets his remaining 2 balls. He stands with a smirk.

“Your turn”

Only the 8-Ball and cue ball are left. You thought this was going to be easy, and it could be...

Unfortunately for you, the white ball ended near one of the edges. It would be impossible. But that doesn’t mean you’re not going to try.

You totally miss the shot, pocketing the cue ball instead. This means an instant win for Leon— if he doesn’t fuck it up astronomically. You kind of hope he does, but then you feel bad for wanting him to lose.

As expected, Leon doesn’t fuck it up astronomically. The game is over and you can’t help but feel a bit disappointed. Lesson learned: don’t get cocky while playing against Leon Kennedy because he will humble you as quickly as that.

“What a show-off you are,” Claire says.

Leon and you played another game so you could get revenge but you ended up losing. You couldn’t feel more humiliated and disappointed. You went to sit down at the table with Claire. Leon went to the bathroom.

“Don’t get bummed out, he was just trying to impress you” The brunette says. You look into her bright blue eyes letting yourself get lost in them for a while. She is just so gorgeous.

As you snap out of your daze, you realize what Claire just said. "Impress me?" You scoff, shaking your head. "I doubt that. He's probably just having a good time”

“You didn’t see what I saw” Claire winks.

“Oh really? And what did you see?”

“Well, he was definitely checking you out throughout the whole game”

You blush at the thought of Leon looking at you in that way, “No way!”

“Yes way! He barely even broke contact with you. Then you lifted your leg up and I could see it was over for him— He was definitely screaming internally”

Even if what Claire is saying is true, why would she out her friend like that?

“Claire...”

“I’m telling you!”

“Telling her what?” Leon sits down next to you.

“Nothing, we were just talking about how good this new show is. You probably don’t know it”

“Okay”

Leon seems a bit sceptical, but he doesn't say anything. Instead, he leans back in his chair, eyeing Claire suspiciously.

He didn’t hear what you were talking about, did he? Oh no...

“I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling pretty hungry,” he says.

“At this hour?”

Leon shrugs at Claire like he’s saying “Yeah, you got a problem with it” nonverbally.

“Actually, I’m feeling pretty hungry as well,” you say. You barely ate anything today, even if you promised yourself you were going to take much better care of your body. But, old habits die hard. At least you were trying.

Claire sighs, “And where do you want to go?”

You ended up going to a restaurant both Claire and Leon say they frequent. The restaurant is small and nicely decorated. No other people besides the three of you which is somehow making the place feel cold.

You’re seating at a table near the window. Claire is seating next to you, her head resting on top of the table facing the window. Leon is in the chair in front of Claire. No one is saying anything.

You’re waiting for the food to arrive. Head empty, stomach also empty.

You clear your throat but then Leon speaks.

“How come you don’t have a driver’s licence?”

Ah , here it is. The million-dollar question.

“Long story...”

“I’m all ears” He leans back.

“Well, I tried getting one at seventeen, but I failed the exam. Then I tried again after I graduated high school and failed again. I failed again in my last year of college and decided that it was a sign I don’t belong behind the wheel...”

Leon laughs.

“What if it’s a sign you should get a motorcycle!” Claire says, raising her head from the table.

You have considered it, then your mother managed to talk you out of it

“I don’t know, it’s not really my style...”

“Aw, c’mon! Didn’t you like it when you were on it with me?”

You did like it. You liked the sensation of the wind passing through your clothes and hair. It was invigorating, liberating, and brought a smile to your face.

“I don’t know...”

“Do you want to go for another ride?” she asks, eyes glistening with anticipation and excitement.

You look at Leon.

“I’ll stay here waiting for our order”

Claire jumps out of her seat and drags you along with her.

You go outside and get on the motorcycle. She hands you a helmet which you accept gladly.

Claire revs the engine and exits the parking lot with ease. You hold tight onto her waist.

You don’t usually go on thrill rides, but this feels amazing.

“It’s okay, you can relax”

You relax your grip and gaze upwards, taking in the breathtaking beauty of the night sky. The stars are twinkling brightly and the full moon illuminates everything around you. You take a deep breath and marvel at how peaceful this night is.

You’re loving the feeling of pure bliss that floods you as you tip your head back and just enjoy being in the moment.

Claire is silent for the most part, except when she’s asking if you’re enjoying it and warning you about increasing the speed. You barely hear her over the wind blowing past your ears.

You two drove around for a couple more minutes. It made you happy and forget the weariness in your bones, made you forget about worries for a little while.

You walk back into the restaurant, where Leon is sitting alone. Whatever food you ordered is ready. You totally forgot about that.

Leon looks up and greets both of you with a warm smile. "Hey, how was the ride?" he asks.

"It was amazing!" you reply, still feeling the rush of excitement from the ride. "Claire is a fantastic driver."

Claire chuckles and says, "Thanks, but it's all about the bike. She's a real beauty."

You look down at the plate before you, feeling a sharp pang of hunger in your stomach as it starts to rumble. You begin to eat, savouring every bite as the delicious flavours fill your mouth. Every morsel is delightful; each texture is unique and delectable. As you chew, it feels like a party for your taste buds - each bite brings with it something new and exciting. The food is so heavenly that you can hardly believe it's possible for something to be this good.

The three of you eat in silence, all equally hungry. You don’t know what time it is, but it’s not really important at this moment.

After finishing your meals, you pay and leave the restaurant.

“You were tight, the food here is amazing”

“I told you!” Claire says.

You climb onto the back of Claire's motorcycle once again, for the fourth time this night. She had been the one to take you around all evening and you have no doubt that she will be your ride home as well.

You had a wonderful night with the two of them. It was definitely a time you won't soon forget. Claire is such an amiable person; she and Leon appear to have an indestructible bond which is so admirable! You find yourself feeling envious of their relationship; something like that is a rarity these days.

“You know,” Claire says with a laugh, “I let Leon drive my motorcycle once and he almost crashed”

You glance back at Leon and can't help but smile at his sheepish expression. Leon rolls his eyes.

“You’re exaggerating”

“You almost sent us flying!”

“Whatever...”

You chuckle at their banter.

“I’m sure you’ve gotten better since then” You try to come to his defence. It wouldn’t be fair if both you and Claire ganged up on him like that, though a part of you wanted to do that just to see how he would react.

“You can be the judge of that,” Claire says and gets off the motorcycle. Your eyes widen but you remain in your spot.

“I thought you said you’d never let me near it”

Claire raises her shoulders.

“It’s the only way you can prove yourself. No pressure though. If you want” she winks “I’ll let this cutie right here be the judge”

Claire rests her hand on your thigh. The simple action sends billions of sparks through your veins. You can feel the heat radiating from Claire’s hand as she stares at you with an unreadable expression, waiting for your response.

You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself before facing Leon again.

“I guess so...” you manage to say in a low voice “But shouldn’t you—”

“Great!” Claire pats your thigh and walks towards where Leon is standing beside his car.

Leon hesitates for a moment, judging if it’s worth it or not then he finally moves, looking down at the pavement. He gets on the motorcycle.

“Hold tight,” he says.

You wrap your arms around his waist. This is more intimate than you've ever been with him and it brings a strange thrill. Through the fabric of his shirt, you can feel the taut muscle underneath and it only intensifies your feelings in that moment. You take a deep breath, overwhelmed by the closeness of it all; he smells of alcohol and his scent. You take it all in.

Your eyes snap open, and you can feel your heart pounding in your chest. You try to take some deep, calming breaths. It's just like it was when you were with Claire; why are you having such an intense reaction to Leon? You try to rationalize why your behaviour has been so strange.

It’s because of what Claire said! You’re just worried he’s going to crash. That’s all.

You rest your head on Leon's back as he starts up the engine and exits out of the parking lot. You look back at Claire’s shrinking silhouette.

୨୧Masterlist

↫Previous Chapter | Next Chapter ↬

#resident evil #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #daring destiny

11 notes · View notes

thatgirlwholikestowritestories · 2 years

Text

The Summer I Fucked Up (Ch 26)

A Conrad predominant retelling of The Summer I Turned Pretty TV show and book series.

Did you read the books and want to understand what was going on in that little noggin of his? Read my fic to find out that this man has zero thoughts

Chapter list

CONRAD

Conrad had stayed a week at the house with Adam and Jere. It was just quiet. Most of the time, Jere and his dad were at work, so Conrad just drifted from room to room with no real purpose. It was worse when they were here too. Conrad barely knew how to act around Jere now. For the most part, he’d been able to separate everything in his mind. Jere was his brother. Belly was his… whatever Belly was. Jere and Belly as a couple? That reality was thrown in to the deep, dark recesses of his mind that he would never look at unless he was forced to.

Now that’s all that he saw when he looked at Jere. He saw them at that table, in that restaurant, announcing their engagement. Worse than that, he saw Belly’s hand on the table with a small diamond that sparkled just to taunt him. He also saw himself of the side of the road retching.

One day, when it all got too much, he made the trip out to Cousins.

It was like being able to breath again.

Californian beaches were nice, but in his mind, they had nothing on Cousins. The house was still the same, with the exception of a coat of dust and stale air. Walking around, he could see where age and time had started to leave its imprint. Broken light bulbs, chipping paint, little things, big things.

He hadn’t bought a ticket to go back to California. He wouldn’t, not yet. The lab didn’t need him back for a while. He wasn’t doing a summer semester. For the first time in a while, Conrad had no plans.

Conrad felt a renewed sense of purpose. He would stay here, let Cousins bring him back to earth, and to repay it, he would fix up the house.

He went back to Boston, and got his things, and he came right back, where he belonged.

He cooked. He cleaned. He surfed. It was as glorious as Conrad had hoped. It, also, lasted a week.

When that week was over, he came home from grocery shopping and found Jere and Belly sitting on the front porch, Belly in his lap. Conrad’s stomach tightened. She stood up and waved at him.

They were up doing wedding stuff, still going ahead even though Laurel wasn’t on board yet. It was odd to him that Belly didn’t want to wait until they had her approval, but it still seemed in character for Jere. He was an all-steam-ahead kind of guy.

He cooked them dinner. He’d become so used to it since he’d been living on his own. Chicken in all shapes and form, but mostly grilled.

After giving him compliments about his cooking that made his ears turn pink, Jere announced “Belly’s gonna stay here until the wedding. Is that cool with you, Con?”

Conrad’s eyes widened.

Belly would be staying here. Until the wedding. Conrad should have known that this is where she would want to have it. Why else would they be here? He knew it was her favourite spot in the world, or at least it had been. He didn’t know what had changed in the time they’d been separated.

“I won’t be in your way,” She assured him since he had forgotten to respond. “I’ll just be doing wedding stuff.”

Which was worse, that she was here doing wedding stuff or that she wouldn’t be in his way?

“It’s fine. I don’t care,” he said.

Belly looked down at her plate, moving the remaining food around with her fork but not taking another bite. “Thanks.”

After dinner, they invited him to go get ice cream with them but said he’d stay back and clean up. He couldn’t think of anything worse than walking with Jere and Belly as they ate ice cream and walked hand in hand. The thought made him want to throw up again.

“The cook shouldn’t have to clean up.” She tried to grab the tea towel out of his hand, but Conrad was too quick, holding it above her head. She made one failed jump to grab at it.

“I don’t mind, Belly.”

She frowned at him. She might have said more but Jere was calling her over, and they were out.

He was sitting in front of the TV when they came back. It’d be a stretch to say he was watching it. It was more like he had been zoning out in its direction. When they sat on the couch, it repelled him out of his seat. Casually.

“I’m gonna hit the sack,” he said, stretching his arms over his head.

“It’s, like, ten o’clock. Watch a movie with us,” Jeremiah said.

“Nah, I’m gonna get up early tomorrow and surf. Wanna join me?”

Jeremiah glanced at Belly before saying, “Yeah, sounds good.”

Belly pouted a little bit. “I thought we were gonna work on the guest list in the morning.”

“I’ll come back before you’re even awake. Don’t worry.” To Conrad, he said, “Knock on my door when you’re up.”

Conrad hesitated. “I don’t want to wake up Belly.”

His eyes drifted over to her. She was turning pink, not looking at him. “I don’t mind.”

Conrad closed his bedroom door behind him and pulled out his phone, sending his friend, Danny, a message.

Would I be able to stay over at yours a couple nights?

The phone pinged back quickly. Sure, when do you want to come over?

Conrad typed out on his phone that he’d come by tomorrow after he went surfing with Jere, but his finger hesitated over the send button.

If he didn’t stay, they’d ask why. He’d come all this way. They knew he was planning to spend the rest of the summer here, but the second they say Belly was staying over he was going to run packing? He may as well just announce he was still in love with her.

He could do it, right? Just keep his distance. It was dangerous. He’d barely kept it together at Christmas. The safe option would be to go to Danny’s. Except he still couldn’t press send.

When Jere opened the door to join him for a surf that morning, Conrad noticed that Belly wasn’t in his bed. Jere started to bound down the stairs, but Conrad threw a look over his shoulder. The door to Belly’s bedroom was shut. It had been open when he’d gone to bed. Conrad didn’t smile. But he wanted to.

Out on the waves with Jere felt natural, like it was any other summer. Except when Conrad tried to suggest that maybe, just maybe, it’s not a good idea to get married since Laurel and Adam were against it, Jere blew up at him.

“Stay out of it, Conrad,” he spat.

“All right. Sorry. I didn’t mean to . . . I’m sorry.”

“I never asked for your opinion. This is between me and Belly.”

Conrad thought about that even as Jere rode to shore and left him out there on his own. Smug piece of shit. He was marrying Conrad’s girl, and he couldn’t do anything but let it happen.

It was the first time that Conrad had felt like Jeremiah had intentionally rubbed salt in the wound.

Conrad had promised his mum on her deathbed that he’d take care of Jeremiah. Conrad moved across the country to keep that promise. He was going to let Jere marry the girl he loved to keep that promise. Conrad just wished it didn’t sting so much.

In that first week, Belly and Conrad were like repelling magnets. They were never in the same place at the same time. If Conrad was in the kitchen, Belly was in her room. If Belly was in the lounge room, Conrad was at the beach or a friend’s or working on the house. Except sometimes, when it was late and Conrad was still awake looking up at his ceiling, he’d hear a splash and smile. He'd look out his window, and Belly would be doing laps at midnight, just like she used to.

One morning, Conrad was coming home, and Belly was out on the deck.

“Hey. Where are you coming from?” She asked, taking a bite of a strawberry Pop-Tart.

“The gym,” Conrad said, walking past her. Then he stopped short. “Is that what you’re eating for breakfast?”

“Yeah, but it’s my last one. Sorry.”

Conrad would hardly call that breakfast. He cringed at the idea of having that kind of sugar this early in the morning. Unless it was the good muffins. Those were the only exception.

“I left cereal out on the counter. There’s fruit in the fruit bowl too.”

She shrugged. “I thought it was yours. I didn’t want to eat your stuff without asking.”

Impatiently, he said, “Then why didn’t you ask?”

She turned her head like a dog, not understanding his tone. “How could I ask when I’ve barely even seen you?”

They scowled at each other for about three seconds before a smile started tugging at the corners of his mouth. Giving each other a tough time was almost second nature by now. It was a comfort to fall back into again.

“Fair enough,” he said, forcing away the smile. What was he thinking? Falling into old habits is exactly the kind of thing he should avoid. He started to slide the glass door open, and then he turned and said, “Whatever I buy, you can eat.”

“Same here,” she replied.

A ghost of a smile flickered onto his face again. Goddamn it, Belly. “You can keep your Pop-Tarts and your Funyuns and your Kraft mac and cheese all to yourself.”

“Hey, I eat other stuff besides just junk,” she protested.

“Sure you do,” he said, and he went inside.

The next night he did find out she ate other stuff. He’d stayed out all day as a punishment for letting his mask falter. If you can really call surfing and hanging out with friends as a punishment. He didn’t come home until he knew she’d gone to bed.

The kitchen was clean except one plate on the counter. Spaghetti with salad. Conrad sat and ate it at the counter.

He let himself smile when he ate it, not because it was good, but because she made it for him.

Next Chapter

#conrad #conrad fisher #belly x conrad #conrad fic #conrad fisher fic #The Summer I Turned Pretty #the summer i fucked up #TSITP #tsitp fanfic #tsitp conrad

8 notes · View notes

sosos-adventures · 2 months

Text

March 21st: last day in Hoi An.

Our last day in Hoi An and we decides to not do anything at all exept for going to the tailor. AGAIN. And to just wander around for a bit. Thankfully our landlady Sophia offered us a "cheap" way to get to Hue by motorbike. For 1 Million Dong (38€) p.P. she could get a friends connection who apparently organizes "easyrider" trips from Hoi an to Hue by motorbike. We had no idea how safe that would be and how expwrienced the drivers would be. In comparison: get your guide or tripadvisor offered easyrider trips for about 60-70€ p.P. the reviews were amazing and so we thought we can do the same with random people who apparengly have done this trip many times. Taking the train wasnt an option as all the seats with a view of the Hai Van pass were already taken. So we decided to just risk it.

Also here are some pictures of the city so its not just text to read:

And now back to the tailor story. We went there at 11 am for another fitting. The pants were so tight that I could barely sit and I knew I would probably gain some weight in the next few months as I recently lost like 6kg after my breakup. So I had to tell the lady to loosen the pants a little. And she just said: "O.. you just ate? So pants tight now! Not gaining more weight!"... Äääähm thanks 😅 great communication. Again we couldnt take the clothes home. And were running out of time. Last day in the city. Also interesting to know: they dont tailor the clothes in their shop. In the shop there are only ladies working, no men. Some are there to negotiate the prices and to show the fabrics they have. Some take the measurement Nd some last minute changes. But the tailoring happens somewhereelse. So they just take notes and bring the clothes to another location. Weird. Only the really expensive shops (like 5 of them) are doing it in the shop. We had one really old lady who didnt speak any word of english and she had to make all the last minute changes when we wanted to pick it up at night. And the one young lade who apparently runs the shop sadly gets most of the money. Also she almost forced us to write a gold review on google maps. She wanted my phone, openes her adress of the shop and told me to give a 5 star review. No wo der she got so many good reviews. But this is quite common around here. Lots of people asked us to write them a review. Even in restaurants.

Anyway. Here ks the outcome of the jumpsuit and the oversized shirt. And yes the shirt is super unique. i love how different and crazy it looks.

0 notes

adoringhaikyuu · 3 years

Text

they reject you and regret it afterwards

CHARACTERS: kuroo + iwaizumi + osamu + (gn!reader)

REQUEST: pspspsps i hope its okay if i drop my request here since i saw that yours are open :D can you maybe do how kuroo, iwaizumi and osamu rejects reader confession ( they are best friend ) because they have feelings for another person but later they regret it when they moved on? i love it when the boys realize it later how much the reader means to them but y/n took the chance to move on and have a sexy glow up ✋😩 yessss i wanna see them suffer at the end >:) • by anonymous

WARNINGS: dumb boys hurting your feelings and you hurting them right back :/

NOTES: i feel like i’m not too good at writing angst lol but i made these blurbs instead of hcs!

kuroo let you down easy, not wanting to hurt your feelings––to be honest he did feel something for you, but he wasn’t sure if it was what you wanted it to be. he felt more certain of the feelings he had for someone else. someone you slowly watched him admire from afar until he worked up the courage to start joking with them, then offering to buy them lunch and so on.

you still remember the awkward smile he gave you when you confessed to him, the smile that absolutely broke you because it showed you how much he didn’t want you the way you wanted him. not enough to give up his efforts with someone else. “i’m flattered y/n, but i’m sorry i just––you know i have a date this week...”

you’d looked down immediately, unable to look him in the eyes longer and swallowed back the lump in your throat that was aching to come up in a sob. “yeah yeah, i’m sorry i just––let’s forget this ever happened, yeah?”

you gave him your most convincing smile and he agreed, wanting everything to be normal between the two of you.

but it wasn’t until he’d gone on a few dates with them to realize that it didn’t feel right. it didn’t feel familiar, the way he thought it would. it wasn’t the same comfort he felt in your presence. when they texted him, he didn’t feel the same burst of happiness he felt when you messaged him. he tried to wait it out, to see if things would change, but they didn’t. they just weren’t you.

it’d been a few weeks since you’d confessed and gotten rejected, but you decided to move on instead of dwelling on his unrequited feelings––it wouldn’t do you any good to wallow and weep over your best friend. you wanted him to be happy, and you deserved to be too. so you knocked yourself out of that sad headspace and changed yourself up a bit. you started to value yourself better than you did before, you dressed the way you wanted to but were always afraid of doing and everything about you just brightened up. and other people noticed as well.

kuroo had kind of been too preoccupied to notice, if he was being honest. he didn’t realize what he had in front of him until he practically sprinted over to your place to surprise you and be honest about his feelings. you opened the door, already dressed up and kuroo took a step back, eyes widening as they took you in. did you always look this breathtaking?

“wow...”

you smiled gratefully, straightening out your clothes. “thanks, that’s what i was going for.” you walked back into your apartment to get your shoes, “not that i mind but what are you doing here?”

he blinked out of his trance and stepped in, closing the door behind him. “oh i just––i brought us some food.” he raised the bag he was holding even though you weren’t facing him. “i was kinda hoping we could spend some time together...” he scratched the back of his head, “maybe talk about a few things...” he trailed off when something clicked in his head as he watched you slip your shoes on. “wait why are you all dressed up?”

you turned and looked at him apologetically, “oh...i’m sorry kuroo,” you paused, “i actually have somewhere to be. can i take a raincheck?”

he opened his mouth for a few seconds as he watched you, but no sound came out. “oh um...well could i just––wait here? until you get back?”

you looked to the side awkwardly bringing one hand up to hold your other arm. “it’s just that...i might not be alone when i come back.”

as soon as you uttered those words, he could feel his heartbeat falter in his chest, a faint ringing noise in his ears.

“...a date?”

you nodded with a smile and though it’s selfish, he felt a part of him dim on the inside when he noticed how excited you were. he didn’t really have a right to stop you now did he, not when you chose his happiness over your own what felt like way long ago. so he wouldn’t.

he nodded as well, “oh” he forced a smile onto his face and stepped back towards the door, “that’s exciting. i’m happy for you, really.” he turned the door knob, “i’ll catch up with you some other time then, yeah? you’ll tell me how it went.” he looked at you one last time, his gaze wavering under the undeterred happiness radiating from you.

when he finally stepped out and closed your door, all the emotions hit him at once. he didn’t know what hurt the most, the fact that he was too late, or the fact that you didn’t stop him, didn’t notice the pleading look in his eyes as he silently begged you to stay with him.

iwaizumi froze when you told him how you felt. it was the smallest reaction you’d ever seen from him before, the calmest––yet it did anything but soothe you. you could see the hesitation in his eyes, the uncertainty of what to say next in the way his mouth opened but produced no sound. you already knew what he was going to say.

he will admit, seeing the tears in your eyes that you barely managed to blink back when he rejected you did strike a blow to his heart. but he just couldn’t tell you what you wanted to hear, he wouldn’t lie to you. “i––i’m sorry y/n i just...don’t feel the same.”

his eyes were apologetic, almost pitiful as he watched you take a step back, “right, right. that’s––that’s okay.” you tried to smile but it felt more like a grimace. “i just didn’t want to keep it to myself, that’s all. i’m sure i’ll get over it soon.” he nodded but wasn’t sure what else to say. so he didn’t say anything.

things were a little awkward for a couple weeks between the two of you, but you didn’t want to lose your friendship, so you eventually moved on.

it wasn’t until one day you were at the café you always went to together that you noticed him taking longer than usual to bring back your drinks. you looked over to see him chatting with the barista, both of them with nervous smiles on their faces. he came back a few minutes later with a note in his pocket that you assumed was the barista’s number and a blush on his cheeks. he placed your drink in front of you, eyes looking down, and didn’t mention anything, probably since he didn’t want to rub it in, so you didn’t bring it up either.

but you did wonder if they were the reason he didn’t feel the same for you––you wondered if they weren’t in the picture, if he would have fallen for you instead.

he didn’t want to hide anything from you, so he told you when he had a date coming up. you wished him luck and told him you hoped he’d have a good time and that was that.

they ended up dating but you didn’t mind. he seemed happy and you truly did want the best for him. you started focusing on yourself and eventually found a boyfriend, one who appreciated you and loved you and you couldn’t ask for more.

iwaizumi was happy for you as well, but he couldn’t ignore this piercing feeling he felt when he first heard the news, then when he would see you two together, on your double dates, at parties, anywhere, really. something just ticked him off. he knew he didn’t have a right to feel this way, but he couldn’t help it, couldn’t make sense of it. he couldn’t even figure out what it meant.

only once he realized the ache he felt in his chest when you smiled at your boyfriend the way you used to smile at him, the pull at his heart when you kissed his cheek, completely enamored. only then did he realize that he was jealous, that he’d made a mistake, that he’d lost the one chance he had of being with his soulmate.

osamu had just gotten his new restaurant, he was achieving his goals, living his life without fear, and you took inspiration from that. you decided to be upfront about your brewing feelings and ask him out just as he put the finishing touches in the establishment.

he was wiping down the counter as you sat at the bar, swallowing your nerves as you watched him. “hey samu?”

he hummed and glanced up at you for a second before looking back to what he was doing.

you took a deep breath, “would you maybe...want to go out to eat tomorrow?”

he didn’t look up, but his brows furrowed, “yeah? why are you even asking?”

you paused, of course he wouldn’t realize what you meant, you guys ate together all the time. you blinked a few times before clearing your throat, “um i just––i meant as a...date?”

this time, he paused, well more like froze. he kept his eyes on the counter, his face blank, but you could tell he was internally processing everything. did he hear you right? “what?”

you considered taking it back, but you had a feeling he did hear you, he just wasn’t sure how to respond. “um...i asked if you wanna go on a date? with me...”

he nodded and straightened up, “right.” he brought a hand up to scratch the back of his head, finally looking at you and the look in his eyes was enough to make your wavering confidence crumble. “i sort of have my eye on someone else right now...” you nodded, trying not to let the tears form in your eyes. he went on, “my new neighbor needed to borrow something and we got to talking...was thinking of asking them out, actually.” that was the final twist of the knife.

“oh...” your voice was small ”thats––that’s great!” you smiled but kept your eyes cast down, “forget what i asked i just...wanted to see what you’d say haha,” you tried to play it off as a joke, “i got you!”

he stared at you silently for a few seconds, clearly contemplating whether or not he believed you, but in the end, he let it go.

you never brought up that night ever again, but you thought about it constantly. it haunted you, in a way. of course the one time you’re finally able to speak up about your feelings, it backfired.

you were in a very upsetting and self deprecating headspace for a while, wondering if this was your sign to never make the first move, if you were the problem. it took you a little while to snap out of it, but once you did, you realized your worth and stopped looking at the world through a grey lens––you felt like you’d bloomed as a person.

things didn’t go very far with osamu and his neighbor, but you didn’t take that as an opportunity to try again with him, you didn’t want to wait around for him, even though you thought about it for a second at first––you learned to respect yourself more.

meanwhile, your best friend was beside himself, going through the process of reflection and realization. it’s not that he was desperate after a failed relationship, it’s more so that he suddenly realized he had someone perfect right by him all these years––it only made sense. but he was too stupid to realize that, to realize that he cared about you as more than a friend. he had foolishly mistaken his feelings for you as caring for a friend––you two had been inseparable since you were kids, he couldn’t even notice when his feelings shifted from caring for a friend to loving his best friend.

he decided to talk to you about it, it’d only been a few months since you’d joked? about going on a date with him, but part of him felt confident that you might have meant it for real. he was sure you’d be open to it still. he called you during his break at work and found himself smiling as soon as he heard your voice.

“hey samu what’s up?”

he started to answer, but he trailed off when he heard you laughing at an unfamiliar voice in the background. “hey...just wanted to talk. what are you uh up to?”

he heard you shush whoever was with you. “nothing much.” he heard you sit down.” i can’t stay for long but what did you want to talk about? i’m all ears.”

he was going to brush it off, maybe it was just a friend, but when he heard a faint ‘babe’ and what sounded like a small kiss on the other end, that was all he needed to confirm his suspicions. “yeah i just...i’ll actually call you back later, okay?”

you paused on the other end, most likely confused, but you let him go nonetheless.

osamu sat there in his office at the back of his restaurant, surrounded by silence, complete disbelief and an indescribable ache running through his body. was he really too late?

#haikyuu #haikyuu angst #haikyuu blurbs #haikyuu drabbles #kuroo #kuroo x reader #kuroo angst #kuroo blurb #kuroo drabble #iwaizumi #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi blurb #iwaizumi angst #iwaizumi drabble #osamu #osamu x reader #osamu angst #osamu blurb #osamu drabble

3K notes · View notes

rommahh · 3 years

Text

Love On Tour…Actually

{Im sorry for how late this was. I went to the show Friday and honestly, it was the best day of my life. I had a little PCD which made me super unmotivated but I’m back. I love you all, R}

You woke up a little grumpy, you won’t lie. You didn’t like waking up alone especially on a show day. It made you uncomfortable to be left to your own devices without any structure or schedule. You understood that Harry was a busy man but it would’ve been nice to receive some text so you could plan your day accordingly.

Sitting on the couch in the lounge of your hotel room, you chowed down on leftover pasta while watching Netflix on your iPad. You had yet to receive a text from Harry even though you had texted him hours ago when you woke up. It was hard to tell if he was ignoring you out of anger or if he was simply just lost in track. Either way you felt dejected.

On the other hand, Harry hadn’t even noticed that he iced you. He was busy running around Nashville trying to get things ready for tonight’s show. He bought you a new dress and shoes, and got the ring fitted. It was hard to figure out your ring size but he end up measuring your finger when you were passed out asleep in bed last night. When you slept, you slept and he knew that would be the perfect time to measure your finger.

Harry was so busy that morning, that by the end of his errands he realized he didn’t even have time to go back to the hotel before rehearsals. He was sporting a small cough and his vocal chords felt overworked but that’s all apart of tour.

Pulling his phone out of his back pocket as he walked into the arena, he dialed your number quickly. He had people trying to talk to him but he paid them no mind.

“Oh? Would you look who’s here?” Harry’s head shot up to the sound of your voice. There you sat on his dressing room couch, arms crossed over one another as you glared at him. Your gaze burned through him and he could just tell he was in trouble.

“Hello lovie.” Harry rasped.

“Harry you sound like shit but here you are up and about running around. You should’ve slept in this morning.” Scolding as you stand up to walk in front of him. Harry could feel the anger radiate off of you but you hid it well. He melted into your hands that cupped his warm cheeks.

“I had a lot of errands to run and I didn’t want to wake you. Also it’s just a sore throat from singing and traveling- comes with being on tour.” He mumbles dropping his head into your neck. You caress the hairs on the back on his neck and massage the tense muscles.

“You’ve got to think about yourself more, Harry. You have a show to put on but you can’t put on your best show if you’re not at your best. I am not happy with you at all.” Even though your words were scolding him, you held him your arms in the most soothing way. That’s what Harry loved about you, you cared for him like no one else could (aside from his mom). You could tell him off with your harshest words but he’d always feel your love from miles away.

“You’re right love, sorry for not keeping in touch today.” You hum in acknowledgement. You both pulled away from each other when his driver walked in with Harry’s abundance of bags. “Thank you, sir.”

“What all did you buy?” You ask walking towards the bags. Harry’s arm shot out in front of you making you stop. You looked up at him in shock. “Fine be secretive.”

You huffed before making your way back to the couch. Harry rolled his eyes at you, making way to his shopping bags. Plucking the bag from Nordstrom he plopped it down on the table in front of you.

“I just didn’t want you snooping at some other stuff. I bought you this, for tonight.” He sat down beside you, thighs touching leaving no room between you two.

“Im not trying to be mean. Just a little peeved that you left this morning without telling me. You also have a cold and I wanna take care of you since you won’t do it.” A hand rubs his forehead luring his eyes shut.

“Sorry baby, I thank you for caring so much.” He whispers sleepily.

“Im always gonna care for my bubs.” Kissing him on the lips, your turn your attention to the bag. The small grey bag had light tissue paper covering the product within the bag. The tissue falls to the floor as you dig into the bag. A silky champagne dress, folded neatly to decrease wrinkles, sits in the bag. The dress was soft and you knew it was loose enough to give you the room to dance. Soft snores escaped the boy beside you- the exhaustion evident on his face.

You pull the dress out of the bag and walk over to where his outfit of the night hung. The dress was hung beside his to be steamed for later. Turning around, you smile at the sight of your curled up boyfriend. Your heart hurt knowing that in a few minutes he would have to go rehearse.

Harry sleepily went through rehearsals sitting in a chair the whole time. He knew his stage cues and performance, he only had one more thing to rehearse but it required for you to not be in the room. He gave one look to Jeff to signal him to get you out. Jeff made up some excuse saying that he needed help with some social media post for the show.

Before the show, there was a catered dinner from some local restaurant. Harry ate a light meal of fresh vegetables and a sweet iced tea which has grown on him having lived in the states for some years. You ate grilled chicken and fries enjoying the free food. The two of you ate alone in his dressing room- wanting a moment of piece before the crazy.

“How are you feeling?” You ask Harry. He shrugs, he was more nervous than anything but you wouldn’t understand why if he had told that to you. He felt floaty. Tonight would be a game changer, a step in a whole new direction. This is something he’s wanted to do for years now but it’s finally happening, and he’s scared.

"Im ok, a little tired but what else is new. I can't wait to sleep all night and cuddle with you." He grabs your hand from across the table. you squeeze it, frowning at his revelation.

"I don't like that you're so tired." You worry, his hand squeezes yours in reassurance.

“Im ok, it’s all apart if the job.” He looks down to your bare ring finger, thumb brushing over the empty spot. Your nails were done in your favorite way, some funky pattern you found from Pinterest all painted on short coffin nails.

“I love you Harry and I’m so proud of you. I know that these years put us both in a bad place mentally but I’m happy of where we are now.” Harry could almost tear up to your words. They settled into his mind, resonating. He was making the perfect decision and you solidified that ideal.

2014

Harry didn’t know how they did it. A show every night, a new state everyday, a new country every few months- he was burnt out. He was tired of shared tour buses and the lack of autonomy. Last nights LA show was amazing, the crowd was amazing, the energy was amazing- so why did he feel so horrid?

He walked around in The Grove, security guards walking in front and behind him. He wanted a peaceful day alone but here they were. Fans watched suspiciously trying to decipher if it was Harry or not. His hat and sunglasses were obviously not the disguise he thought they would be.

As the whispers got louder, his heart started to flurry more. Panic seeped into his veins as he looked for an escape. Bolting in the Barnes and Nobles- security guards close behind- Harry asked for the employees to close shop just for a moment. Harry only needed a moment to get a car near by to escape to. Feeling overwhelmed, Harry hid.

In between the historical fiction and romance aisle is where he sat. Head between his knees, trying to catch his breathe.

“Are you ok?” A voice asked from above him. His head whipped up in shock. Standing there was you, three books clutched between your arms. Adjusting your dress you dropped down to the floor in front of him.

“I-im fine, tired but fine.” He replied. He looked different than he did the night before, you thought. Last night, he was energetic and full of life and now, now you saw a boy whose exhaustion overpowered him.

“You here for any books?” You were just trying to change the subject, something you did with yourself when you had panic attacks.

“Oh no, I don’t-“ he stuttered shaking his head. You smiled at him before pulling a book from your stack. The fault In Our Stars, your new favorite.

“I love this book, one of my favorites. Heard a movie is coming out too so that’s fun.” You joke. Harry’s relaxed slightly, you nestled closer to him. Opening the book, you began reading, your gentle voice calming Harry.

At the start of chapter four, an interruption pulled you both away. Harry’s security guard told Harry that a car was waiting and the perimeter of the store was clear. Harry nodded telling the guard to give him five more minutes.

“I guess this is it.” You mumble closing your book. Harry nods but makes no move to leave. Something clicks in him as he looks at your face again.

“You were at the concert last night, meet and greet?” He muses.

“Yeah, One Direction is my favorite band. My friend bought our vip tickets for my birthday. Best night ever.” You say quietly, scared that he might think that you’re some obsessed fan.

“Oh, well I’m glad you enjoyed the show….so why didn’t you freak out today or- or expose where I was?”

“You’re a human being, just like me. You get nervous, frustrated, and sad just like me. You get panic attacks just like. Who am I to treat you differently?” Your words did so much for Harry. “Now don’t get me wrong, you’re my favorite in the band, but I don’t idolize you nor do I wish to be in your position cause I know it must be hard.”

“It is. Hard, I mean, really really hard. I love my job but I’m tired.” The silence you two shared burned a connection between you two. “This may be weird but could I have your number? I like talking to you and I wanna hear more of this book.”

Placing your hand made bookmark in the book, you closed in and gently placed it on Harry’s lap. “Have it. I have one at home and if you still want to talk about it- I’ll give you my number.”

Harry stills as the book sits in his lap. “I want to talk to you about the book.”

After exchanging numbers, Harry was urged by you to go. Walking side by side to the door, you were separated by his security.

“Harry, don’t let this keep hurting you. Find the joy and grasp on to it.”

You turned out to be his joy. Calls every night after shows and different books being read together, you both gravitated towards each other. Everyday was a new day to grow closer together. He invited you to more concerts, paying for every ticket because he just needed to be with you.

The show was going beautifully. Harry looked amazing in stage in all white and most fans were captivated by your outfit too. It worried you to see Harry so exhausted on stage but you knew he would stick it through like he always does. Proud was an understatement in your eyes. Harry made you more than proud.

You stood in the back of the watermelon pit at the end of the aisle where his stage stopped a few feet away. Jeff stood beside you like he normally did but he was acting suspicious. You two never stood on the side of Harry’s exit but this is where Jeff said you’d get the best view tonight.

Harry sang his final ‘we’ll be alright’ before doing his stage stroll and bows, but instead of finishing in the middle of the stage- he went down stage to the place he normally exits to at the end of the night. You watched in confusion, along with the crowd, as he walked down the steps to you. The crowd erupted in screams as the lights focused on where you were standing.

“What are you doing?” You asked with large eyes of shock. You felt your heart stop in your chest. The crowd getting louder by the moment. Harry walked closer to you, one hand digging into his pocket while his eyes focused on your face. You couldn’t place what was happening but you’re eyes welled with even more tears nonetheless. Jeff was to the side with a huge smile and his phone out to capture the moment.

“Y/N, my love, my light, the best thing that has happened to me,” he didn’t have his mic on so the crowd couldn’t hear him but you could hear him perfectly. As if you two were the only ones in the large arena, you could only see Harry. “From the moment I met you in the bookstore, I knew you were meant to be in my life. Somehow you took me from my darkest place and guided me to my lightest.

I know our lives have been hard but we’ve always found a way to be alright. I want that for the rest of my life. I want you to be by my side for the rest of my life, so will you please, my love, marry me?”

You gave him no time to answer as you yanked him up by his arm. You wept as you exclaimed loud yeses, yeses that could be heard by a few fans who screamed in excitement igniting the rest of the crowd to scream. Harry picked you up in his arms, throwing one arm out to wave at the crowd before bounding backstage.

“Oh my god Harry!” You exclaimed as he set you down. He only had a few minutes to talk so you kept it quick. You pulled his face down to your kissing his lips. This kiss pulled you both deeper into each other.

He pulled away making you whine. “I gotta go back but I promise you’ll get it all tonight. I can’t believe you said yes. I love you so much.”

Harry’s energy multiplied by 100 going back on stage. He even went as far as to explain what watermelon sugar was about. Remembering when the song was made, it made your legs clench together- a pulse overwhelming your lower regions.

Looking down at your hand, you could feel yourself tear up again at the ring he bought you. It fit perfectly in your hand, you remember him measuring your hand that night even though he thought you were asleep. The thought of your future made your heart swell. A future with new music, a wedding, a nice house, and babies made your heart swell. This was something you couldn’t wait for.

Harry found his joy in you but he never knew about the joy he was to your dark life.

#harry styles love on tour #harry styles x y/n #harry styles smut #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles one shot #harry x reader #harry styles x reader #harry styles love on tour nashville

531 notes · View notes

queen-haq · 3 years

Text

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 13

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Rating: R for language and smut.

Words: ~3000 words.

Summary: You’ve been sleeping with Billy Russo for a few months now. Knowing his aversion to emotional commitments, you’re satisfied with your clandestine arrangement until you catch him having dinner with Dinah Madani one night. Then it finally dawns on you. It’s not that he doesn’t want to commit, he just doesn’t want to commit to *you*.

Billy may think he knows you, but he has no idea what he’s just lost...

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

gif credit: @bilyrusso

Part 13

It was 8 in the evening and you were still in the office. You hadn’t accomplished much work today, your mind mostly focused on Billy. You were surprised by how quickly he’d been able to make the funeral arrangements for his mother. Yesterday you had driven over to the nursing home and by the time you reached there, Carla Russo’s body had already been picked up. You’d signed a few papers for Billy and picked up the remainder of Carla’s things before you returned home. Everything of hers was packed into a small suitcase and sitting in your living room. You wanted to call him, ask him how he was and offer your support, but he seemed determined to do everything on his own when you’d talked to him last and you didn’t want to intrude.

You gave yourself a mental shake, reminding yourself to concentrate. This workday had been a wash. When you weren’t distracted by thoughts of Billy, you were putting out fires in your team. At least the personnel conflicts have been temporarily resolved, but now you needed to work on a slide deck that you’d been tasked with presenting to the executive leadership committee later in the week.

An hour later you were halfway done with your presentation when your phone rang. You glanced down at your screen to find Billy’s name on the screen. “Hi.”

“Hey.” He sounded exhausted. “You still at work?”

“Yeah. How did you know?”

There was a pause. “You give off the workaholic vibe.”

You smiled to yourself; at least he was okay enough to crack jokes. “How are you?”

“You mean am I grieving over a goddamn dead woman who preferred meth to her own fucking son?” He sighed. “No big loss. I’m fine.”

Anger and hurt saturated his voice despite his attempts to sound unaffected. Your heart hurt for him, you wished there was something you could do. “Do you need anything?”

“The funeral service is tomorrow.” A beat of silence followed. “Do you want to come?”

“Sure. What time?”

“2pm.”

“I’ll take the day off. Do you need my help with anything? Maybe I can call some of her friends?”

“When I found her she was living on the streets, barely alive but still hooked on meth. I doubt she’s got any friends.”

“What about the people in the nursing home? Maybe they want to come?”

“No, I don’t want anyone else there. Just you.”

Not liking the warmth that spread through you upon hearing his words, you reminded yourself he was probably feeling unusually vulnerable. This wasn’t typical of him.

“Do you want to come over?” he asked.

You exhaled a heavy sigh. “I would but I have so much work to do. I’ll be here for another hour at least.”

“Come over after you’re done.”

“It’ll be really late.”

“That’s fine. I can wait.”

“I can stop by my place to pick up your mom’s-.”

“No, it’s okay.”

You realized he wasn’t quite ready to go through Carla’s belongings yet.

“Bring your stuff with you.”

“Stuff?”

“Overnight bag, clothes for tomorrow, whatever.”

“Oh. You want me to stay over?”

“Yeah, might as well. We can drive over together for the service tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

Despite the conversation coming to a natural end, he wasn’t hanging up. It seemed as if he was reluctant to be alone, probably because that meant dealing with the complicated emotions for his mother. You knew exactly how that felt. “If you want, I can leave now. I can work from your apartment instead of the office.”

“You’re not worried I’ll be tempted to spy on Valiant stuff?” he teased.

You smiled. “As if I’d let you see what I’m working on.”

“Guess no corporate espionage for me tonight.”

“Still going to keep you away from my laptop.”

He chuckled. “Just get here. I promise not to bug you while you work.”

“Okay. I’m leaving now.”

“See you soon.”

After you hung up, you started gathering your things together.

***

An hour later, you were at his place. When he opened the door, you immediately grew concerned at how tired he looked. Traveling back and forth from Vegas plus dealing with the news about Carla’s death within the last few hours meant he was absolutely exhausted.

“Hey,” he greeted you, smiling as he took the overnight bag from your hands.

You removed your heels while he took your bag inside his room and then made your way to his living room. While his penthouse suite was much bigger than yours, you actually didn’t like it very much. Despite the high-end finishes and the beautiful interiors - Billy had obviously hired a designer to make the place look good - it always felt very cool and inhospitable to you. It was too perfect and you always felt out of place inside the suite.

“You hungry?” he asked, coming up behind you. “I ordered dinner for you.” Arms encircling your waist, he dropped a kiss on the back of your head as he maneuvered you to the kitchen. He’d laid out the food for you on the dining table, and from the take-out containers you knew it was from one of your favourite Indian restaurants. The thoughtful gesture surprised you, you weren’t used to that from him. Noting that he’d only set the table for one, you turned around to look at him. “You’re not going to eat with me?”

“I ate already. I was starving. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” You cradled his face with one hand, your eyes roving over his beautiful face as he placed a kiss on the fleshy part of your palm. “You look exhausted. Did you even sleep?”

“No” He leaned back against the kitchen counter, weary. For a moment he closed his eyes, simply holding still, and you found yourself wrapping your arms around him in a hug. You didn’t understand why you’d even initiated the embrace – hugs were never your thing – but seeing him so beaten-down you were desperate to comfort him. He leaned into you, his body flushed against yours, and you held him tight. Stroking the nape of his neck, you placed a soft kiss on the center of his forehead. “Why don’t you take a nap while I work?”

“You don’t mind?”

You smiled up at him, running your fingers through his hair. “At least I don’t have to worry about you stealing my company secrets while you sleep.”

He smirked. “You’ll be here when I wake up?”

“Yup. Probably still working away.”

Billy grazed your temple softly before dropping a tender kiss on the tip of your nose. “Okay, but eat first.”

You nodded your head, watching after him as he sauntered out of the kitchen and disappeared down the hallway.

Sighing, you went to the sink to wash your hands before eating.

***

It was after midnight and you were still working on your slide deck when you heard Billy puttering around in the bathroom. Soon he slowly made his way towards you, dressed in a t-shirt and black boxers, his hair all messy. He yawned lazily, falling onto the other end of the couch.

“I thought you’d sleep through the night,” you remarked.

“Are you still working?” he asked.

“Almost done.” You saved the file and shut off the laptop before slipping it back inside your bag.

Suddenly he pulled you closer and you found yourself tucked underneath him on the couch as he glanced down at you from above. “You work too hard.”

You smiled up at him. “They don’t pay me the big bucks to sit there and look pretty.”

A slow, incandescent smile curved his lips. “I would. If I ran Valiant, you’d be my personal stress relief. You’d be in my office the entire time and do nothing but look pretty and service me.”

“That’s sexual harassment.”

Billy shrugged his shoulders. “Whatever. I’d make it worth your while.”

You laughed, angling up to kiss him. “Your breath is all minty fresh.”

“I brushed my teeth for you.”

“Wow. Be still my heart.”

A warm grin covered his face as he shifted down your body to nuzzle your neck. His weight was heavy as he rested atop you, but you liked the solid feel of him on you, the way you felt all safe and warm. You stroked his hair while he drew lazy circles on your chest, the silence between you two comforting.

“No one knows about her. Not Frank, not Curtis, no one.”

Those names were familiar to you because Billy had mentioned them in passing a few times. Of course he’d never shared any other info, but you being you, you’d dug around and found out more about them. You knew they’d served with Billy and he considered them his closest friends.

“When I found her three years ago, I put her in that home and forgot all about her.”

“You visited her every week,” you reminded him.

“Because I wanted her to regret abandoning me. I wanted her to see how far I’d come, I wanted to throw her mistakes in her face. But I don’t think she regretted safe-havening me, not even a bit.”

The bitter pain in his voice made your heart hurt for him.

“Maybe I should be happy she’s finally dead, or maybe I’m supposed to be sad or something.”

“How do you actually feel?”

“Nothing. I feel nothing.”

“Billy, I think that’s normal. There’s no right or wrong in this. All of your feelings are valid.”

“Even if her dying made me absolutely ecstatic? You wouldn’t think I was a fucking psychopath?”

“You are a psychopath but not because you have conflicting emotions about your terrible mother dying. You have the right to feel how you feel about her, whatever that might be.”

Eyes blazing with emotion, he hovered about you to meet your gaze. “Then what makes me a psychopath?”

You quirked your eyebrow. “The fact you want to torture my dates.”

“Not just torture, I want to kill them.” Eyes darkened, voice velvety-smooth, he covered your mouth with his and ravaged you with a kiss that left you thrumming and breathless.

“Only you’re allowed to touch me?” you asked through labored breaths.

“Yes.” His voice was a lustful rasp, his mouth leaving a heated trail as he sucked on the oh-so-sensitive corner of where your neck and shoulder intersected. Sparks of electricity ran down your spine. “Only me.”

You took his hand and guided it down your body, parting your thighs for him.

Like always, you were soon completely lost in the erotic pleasure of his mouth on you. Your legs hooked over his shoulders, your hands grabbed the back of the couch for support as he fucked you with his hands and mouth, sucking you, licking you, his tongue flicking over your clit until you were keening under him. Body arching off the couch, you moaned his name louder and louder until he drove you completely over the edge.

Then you felt a light slap on your cunt which immediately brought you back to reality. Opening your eyes, you found Billy perched between your legs, gracing you with the most wicked smile. “That’s one.” He slapped your pussy again, this time his long, lean fingers ever so slightly grazing your clit and your hips bucked, wanting more. “As promised.” His eyebrow quirked up. “Punishment.”

“Not fair,” you protested. “I’ll date who I want.”

He slapped you again, a little harder this time, but then he leaned down to place comforting kisses on the very spots he assaulted and you moaned with pleasure.

“All of you.” His tongue lapped over your clit, eyes locked with yours. “Belongs to me. I own you.”

“You don’t!” You squealed when he flipped you over unexpectedly, grabbing you by the hips so your ass was lifted of the couch. And then he squeezed your butt cheeks, biting them lightly before he started rimming you.

***

After sharing a shower the two of you were laying in his bed, your back pressed against his chest as you both stared up at the ceiling. His one hand was intertwined with yours, the other arm circled around your hips. The two of you didn’t have sex but you didn’t mind. You were both fatigued.

“I smell like you now,” you murmured, realizing the soap in his shower had left its scent on you.

“I know. I like it.” He squeezed your fingers. “I have a present for you.”

“I hope it’s not earrings again.”

He chuckled. “No, not earrings.”

“What is it then?”

“Jewelry.”

You turned back to look at him. “What? Like a necklace?”

“Something like that. Except I’m the only one who’ll see you wearing it.”

“Ah. And where is this gift?”

He kissed the top of your head. “Not here yet.”

You smiled to yourself. “People usually wait until they have the gift in hand before telling others about it.”

“I couldn’t wait. I’m excited to see you wear it.”

He stroked your hair, and your eyes grew heavy. Soon you started falling into deep slumber, feeling calm, comforted by Billy’s arms around you.

“What happened with your family?”

Your eyes flew open. Like always, any mention of your family unfurled anxiety within you. You didn’t like thinking about them letting alone discussing them. “They passed away.”

“They’re dead?”

“Yes.”

“Both of them?”

“Yes.”

He pulled you up so you were facing him now, his intoxicating gaze completely focused on you. “That day when I asked you about the pictures, you said you weren’t close to your family.”

“I meant my extended family. I don’t keep in touch with them,” you replied smoothly.

“What were your parents like?”

Irritation surged through you at his obtrusive questions but you had to remind yourself he just lost his mother. He was feeling out-of-sorts, working through his grief – even if he didn’t think so – and he was reaching out to the only person in his life that knew about his mother. “Normal.”

He simply stared at you for a long time, studying you, saying nothing. “Normal,” he repeated, finally breaking the strained silence.

You shrugged your shoulders, dropping your gaze to the base of his throat so you didn’t have to hold his piercing stare. “Yup.”

“How did they die?”

“Car accident.”

“You miss them?”

“Of course,” you lied.

He reached out to cup your face, his thumb stroking your cheek. “So you grew up with great parents, white picket fence and all that bullshit? Sounds like you had a fairytale childhood.”

“Can we talk about this tomorrow? I’m really tired.”

“Sure. I’ll add this to the list of all the other shit we’ll talk about someday.”

He sounded almost angry with you and you weren’t sure why. Before you could question him, however, he pulled you close so you were snuggled against his chest and the warmth of his body was enough to silence your brain and lull you to sleep.

***

It was a cold, crisp autumn day in New York. The outdoor service, attended by only you and Billy, was short and quick. Throughout it, he’d gripped your hand even though he’d been outwardly calm and collected. Even now as he stood a few feet away from you, impeccably dressed in a black suit, his dark eyes hidden behind a pair of aviator sunglasses as he stared out at the pond, you sensed he was a complete mess inside. You didn’t know what to say to him so you simply sat on the bench, both of you in an isolated corner of the garden. Eventually he came to sit beside you, taking your hand in his.

“I’d have given her the whole world.” His voice was filled with pain and longing as he removed his sunglasses and tucked them in the upper pocket of his suit. “I would have given her anything she ever wanted.” Billy’s eyes met yours. “If she’d just wanted me.”

You scooted closer to wrap your arms around him, breathing him in as he sunk into you. His hands caressed your back, his grip on you so tight you almost couldn’t breathe. After a while he rested his forehead against yours, his eyes holding you prisoner in front of him.

“Swear to me you’ll never leave.”

“Billy-”

“Promise me!”

“I can’t.”

“It wasn’t a fucking request, Y/N.”

You tried to pull away from him but he fisted the back of your hair, holding you in place.

The raw urgency in his voice played havoc with your emotions. If you closed your eyes, just for a moment, you could shut out all the doubts in your head and simply believe him - but you could only live the fantasy for a short moment before reality forced its way back in. “You don’t mean those words, Billy.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you don’t feel that strongly about me.”

His eyes narrowed, glaring at you with hostility. “You’re gonna tell me how I feel?”

“I’m not what you want.”

“And what do you think I want?”

You gave him a sad smile. “The best of everything. Best car, best clothes, the most beautiful women in your arms. You want all that because you need others to want what you have.”

“Is that so wrong?”

You shook your head. “No, there’s nothing wrong with that – except I don’t fit into any of those categories. You want a woman like Dinah Madani. I’m not her. So eventually this thing between us will end.”

His jaw was set in a grim line, eyes burning bright with rage. “So you have me all figured out, huh?”

“Don’t get mad. You know it’s the truth.”

He yanked you closer, crushing you against him. “It’s been me against the world for as long as I can remember. But when I look at you.” His eyes softened, mouth parting as his dark gaze roamed over your face. “I don’t feel alone anymore.”

Your heart melted. The tenuous handle you had on your self-control disintegrated completely. You closed your mouth over his, kissing him frantically as he picked you up and straddled you across his lap.

He pulled back to look at you. “You’re my home. You’re all I need.”

Part 14

A/N - As always, all of your feedback, comments, asks, likes and reblogs are deeply appreciated. They truly inspire me to keep writing, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.

If you want to be added/removed from the tag list, please let me know.

Tag List:;

@yourfavoritefruitybitch @voyevoda-thejoy @adreamemporium @queenmalhinewahine @gubleryum @galaxyjane @xceafh@maralisa124@tomhollandisabae @daybleedsintonightfa11 @lil-baby-nor@all-art-is-quite-useless @tanyaherondale @nashibirne @dour-trash @thetallassgirl @athenamikaelson @agent-jbarnes @primadonnasdream @aleksanderwh0r3 @elisemockingbird @nihilismworld @archisur@nemesis729 @lysawayne@kaqua @ladyblablabla @lemasonda@advictedtohim @24-martie @tarkanelima-blog @shinebrightlikeafanbase @krystal-clear1 @damalseer@dontjinx-it@darkishx @wanderlusting-about-life @thatguppienamedbae @happypepperdog @bat-revival @sassygirl25 @consulting–heroes @the-celestial-kitsune @mackaywhore @ablxssm @competitive-dust @red-head011 @exo-1204 @sunsetenigma @millieb-3199 @chatnain @licensedcheek @tinkertailor1212 @vertesalope @safetyhtom @acourtofglassandroses @eliwinchester-barnes @finnismyoriginalsin @weallhaveadestiny @beananacake @beauty-and-the-beast97 @smurfelle @fire-treasure-iii @charly-0 @kestrafagnor @pigwidgeonxo @damagelove @allegra-writes @pensandthings @jad3djay @batshitbarnes @kashimayuki @secretsthathauntus @odetostep @awesome-eccia @mackaywhore @stories-you-wont-hear @vvsdiamond28 @supernaturalcat7 @arieltwvdtohamflash @iknownoqueenbutthequeeninme @devs-stufff @ticosas @moodacheeks @myakai13 @carlywhomever @fvckthisbxtchup @its-evita-here @papapapadumb @talesfrommycell @bat-luna-cat @fific7 @elluvians @dailydoseofchoices @everythinghappens-love @papapapadumb @mylife-love-and-other-things @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @ancientbeing10 @natty2245 @stuckysavedmylive @kasslucilfer @simp-for-ben-barners @originaldeputycalzoneegg @bdffkierenwalker @kimoranelson03 @sadbi-hours @haushinka27 @haushinka27 @caylaxwrites @extraneousred @agentmstark @crazywitchkitty @its-an-idea-not-a-blog @partypoison00 @fictional-hooman

#billy russo x reader #billy russo #ben barnes #the punisher #billy russo imagine

663 notes · View notes

danielxricciardo · 3 years

Note

Hi girl!! I love everything you’ve wrote! Couldn’t say how much I enjoyed reading one shots of F1 drivers! I have to ask if you could do one for Carlos? He and reader are expecting but keeping it secret, Carlos won the race! And he ask if he could hear her through radio, though with some glitch, all other drivers and teams hear Carlos’ radio, he tells her how he’s so happy with the win but more than anything about their little one on the way and now everyone knows the secret of pregnancy because he suddenly slipped it while talking to her on radio👶🏻 I can’t imagine how will other drivers will congratulate him (like Daniel, Max, Landooooo! Seb! And even Kimi!🤣) I think Lando will be overjoyed and will be presenting to be Godfather already Hahahaha!

Summary: Having a baby and everybody finding out

Warnings: fluff

Word count: 1.5k

You realized that you were pregnant after a series of fortunate events that, individually, you did not take as alarm signals.

One evening, Carlos decided to spare you from cooking dinner and ordered your favorite food from your favorite restaurant. You were very excited to eat it, but when the food arrived you were on the verge of throwing up because of the smell. You told Carlos you couldn't eat, so you just ate an apple and went to bed. The next day, after Carlos left for the gym, you couldn't get away from the toilet because if you took a few steps you would feel like throwing up. However, when your boyfriend came home, you didn't feel so sick anymore, but you didn't tell him what happened to you because you didn't want to worry him.

You had a vague idea that you could be pregnant but you wanted to wait until Carlos leaves for France for the Grand Prix.

The day he left you went to the pharmacy and bought two pregnancy tests.

Positive.

You just sat down and cried. You stared at the positive test for several minutes. Honestly, you were so hormonal and conflicted about the timing that you bawled your eyes out. You were both happy and worried. Carlos was busy with his Formula 1 career, you didn't know if it was appropriate to add a child to the dynamics of your life.

But you recovered immediately. You are talking about Carlos, of course, he will be happy to have a child with you. You've been together for four years, you knew you would be together for the rest of your life.

The next day you did another pregnancy test, just in case. Positive, obviously. You went to the pharmacy again, and you took four more tests, to do one every day until Carlos came home.

"Hey, honey. I missed you," says Carlos entering the house.

You didn't even let him take off his shoes. You handed him a gift box in which you put the six pregnancy tests you took.

"Amor, did I forget an anniversary?"

You nod.

"Open it."

You see him take the lid off the box and take out a pregnancy test. Then another one, and another one, until he took them all out. You could see it on his face, he was scared and overwhelmed.

"Seriously?" he asks.

You nod and bite your lip, a few tears run down your face.

"Amor, that's wonderful! Ay Dios Mio! Are we going to be parents?"

You laugh and kiss him long.

"Yes, we will be parents."

You have scheduled an appointment for the next day to confirm the pregnancy and determine how many weeks you are pregnant. It looks like you're 10 weeks pregnant, so that means month 3 of your pregnancy. You couldn't believe that for almost 3 months you didn't realize you were pregnant, but you always had an irregular cycle, so it's not really incomprehensible.

You and Carlos have decided not to announce publicly that you will have a child just yet. For now, you were happy to share the news with your families, wanting to plan a nice way to tell your friends as well.

You know that feeling you get at certain times of the month when you want to cry at every cheesy commercial or could explode with anger at the drop of a hat? Pregnancy is like that sometimes, except 10 times more intense. With your new hormones raging, and more stress in your life than ever before, what with getting a nursery together and preparing to welcome the precious baby into the world and all, emotions are high. Tempers are bound to flare.

That is how you felt sitting in the paddock with Carlos who was preparing for the race. He was starting from P3 so he was pretty excited and nervous for the race. He saw your state, he knew you too well.

"Ay, mi Amor, come here," he said and hugged you to calm your nerves. "Don't worry, ok? It's an easy race, I'm gonna win it for you and the little bean, ok?"

You giggle at the sound of Carlos's nickname for the baby. You kiss him and smile.

"You know I don't really care about winning. Just come back to us. Safe." you say, your voice barely a whisper, not wanting anyone around you to hear your discussion.

"Si, pequeña. Always."

Sure, you were always concerned when he was racing. But especially now when your hormones were driving you insane and you were growing another person in your body. But you trusted him. With all of your heart. If he said he will come back to you, he will.

It took you a few moments to understand what was happening. Carlos Oñoro was hugging you, yelling 'He won!' and you looked at the screens in front of you. He did. Carlos Sainz was the winner in Monza! He kept his word, he won for you and your child.

"Hey, Y/N!" you hear your name being called by Riccardo Adami, the race engineer of Carlos. "The winner wants to talk to you."

You giggle and go to him. 'The winner'... Has a nice ring to it.

"Hey, baby! Congratulations!" you say excitedly over the radio.

"Si, mi amor! I told you I'm gonna win for our baby! I love you both so much!"

What you didn't know was that there was a glitch over the radio and every driver heard Carlos talking about 'your baby'.

"Aaa, guys? Why am I hearing Carlos over the radio talking about a baby?" Charles asked his race engineer.

"There's a glitch. Come to the garage."

"A baby?!" Lando yells into the radio, making his race engineer flinch. "Was that Carlos saying he is going to have a baby? Oh my God!"

You were waiting for Carlos to come out of his car, being absolutely clueless about the hysteria you two just caused. Carlos was just about to get his helmet out when all the drivers came to you two, yelling congratulations to you both. You looked at Carlos. Did he tell someone about your pregnancy? Did you give it away?

"Uh, thank you but how did you find out?" Carlos asked, clueless as you.

"We heard it over the radio," Kimi responds giving you a genuine smile.

"This is not how I wanted you guys to find out," Carlos said and put an arm over your shoulders, kissing your head. "But, yeah, it is true, we are having a baby."

"Mate, you're having a baby! That is so crazy! You are basically a baby!" Daniel says and hugged you both.

"And who is the godfather?" Lando asked and everyone laughed.

"We just found out two weeks ago, there are still five months to think about it," you say and bit your lip and Lando pouts. "You'll be considered, Lando."

After three months you decided to have a gender reveal for your family and friends. You could have had it a lot sooner but you wanted to be at an appropriate time for everyone. All the drivers came, as well as your family and Carlos's too. You made everyone wear a piece of clothing according to the gender they think your baby is. You were surprised to see the majority of the people being team boy, but as Lewis said 'They just want to make sure the third generations of Sainz is coming in Formula 1' and you know he was right.

"Look, listen to me, I have three kids, ok? I know, for a fact, by the way you are carrying that it is a girl!" Sebastian said and you laughed. He was wearing his pink T-shirt with pride, being 100% sure he is right.

He was.

You were having a girl and you could swear that Carlos cried a little when he saw the pink confetti. He hugged you for a few minutes, being still in shock.

"Una niña pequeña..." he whispered in your ear. "I am not ready."

You laughed and kissed him.

"You are gonna be the best dad ever, don't worry."

"No, I know that. I am not ready for her to date! And she'll go to university, no..."

"Carlos, she is not even been born yet! You have plenty of time to spend with her."

"Hi, guys, sorry to interrupt!" Lando appears near the two of you, making you break apart from your hug. "Did you think about the godfather or... or this is not a good time to ask?"

Everyone heard him and started laughing.

"Mate, remember the bag I gave you when you arrived?" Carlos asked him and Lando nodded. "You can look inside the bag now."

Lando got the bag and inside was a white romper saying 'Will you be my godfather?'

Lando looked at the romper with tears in his eyes.

"Well, if you insist..."

870 notes · View notes

fandom-imagines-stories · 3 years

Text

Worth the World

Spike x Reader

Words: 2459

Summary: On a particularly bad day, the reader can barely bring herself to get out of bed. Spike does his best to comfort his girlfriend without being overbearing.

Notes: This is inspired by one of my favorite fics ever by @suckmysupernatural. I got this idea when having a depressive episode myself, so I hope you guys enjoy a little comfort fic with one of my favorite vamps. Plus, I’ve never written for Spike before and since I’m getting back into Buffy, I thought this would be the perfect time. (Also, this is entirely based on my own experience, so it might not be everyone’s experience with this kind of thing {but please be nice, I just used a few of the things I felt so it’s all based on my own emotions and insecurities!}) Enjoy!

Warnings: Depression, self-loathing, anxiety (This imagine was really just a way for me to put down my emotions and write something comforting, but I hope you all like it too)

You didn’t want to move. You weren’t really sure if you could. Your limbs just felt… heavy. Forcing your legs to move, you slowly swung them over the side of the bed, using all the strength you could muster to sit up straight.

It wasn’t that something terrible had happened. In fact, the day before had gone pretty well. You’d spent most of it watching movies with Willow and Buffy and, when the sunset, you went on a long evening walk with your boyfriend. There were no deadly forces plotting world domination, no vengeful vamps after you or your friends. Hell, your favorite restaurant was open and you brought home leftovers for breakfast.

Now, the idea of eating made your stomach turn. You managed to shuffle your way to the kitchen of your apartment, but just stood in front of the counter, leaning on the marble top for support. Just standing there felt like it took every ounce of energy you had. It was almost painful, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. You did your best to keep them from falling. You had places to be today, meeting up with the gang and you didn’t want to worry them with your moping.

With slow steps, you made your way back to your room to get dressed. Of course, most of your clothes were dirty and you didn’t care enough to wash them. So you threw a sweatshirt over your pajama top and put on some shoes, hoping no one would ask about it. You caught your reflection and felt that dark, empty feeling in your chest grow. Pathetic. Your shoulders sagged forward and you blinked away more tears as you watched them well in your eyes. You didn’t have the right to feel like this. How much had Buffy been through and she still greeted every day with a smile. Everything was perfect and yet you were pathetic enough to still want to crawl back into bed. You just hoped that you would feel better by the time you saw everyone. Especially Spike.

You sat with your legs pulled up to your chest. Xander and Willow were debating whether or not using wooden bullets would be a good vamp killer. Buffy was listening in amusement and Giles just looked exasperated, distracting himself by putting books back in their proper place on the shelves. No one said anything about your pajamas. You actually felt kind of invisible, like no one even really knew you were there. It made the empty feeling that much worse.

“What do you think, Y/N?”

“Xander, don’t you think that’s a little insensitive?”

“What? It’s not like we’re planning on dusting her boyfriend. Even if he is annoying and evil and-”

“Xander.” Willow said sternly. When you looked up, everyone’s eyes were on you.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t really paying attention.” Your voice held little to no emotion. You were almost too exhausted to feel anything. You just felt hollow.

“If I shot Spike with a wooden bullet do you think he would, you know,” Xander made a motion with his hands that was meant to simulate a vampire dying. “Just theoretically, of course.”

Everyone was expecting a witty remark. You and Xander were close and teased each other often, especially about your relationship with Spike. Instead, you just shrugged, your eyes fixating on a spot on the table.

“Maybe.”

The group collectively exchanged a look of concern, but didn’t press anything. After all, what reason could there be for you to be upset? They knew that if something had happened with Spike, you would tell them and there weren’t any recent deaths to worry about, so they continued on with their playful conversations about breaking curses and some movie that they had watched recently. It felt like you were intruding- like an unwanted bystander that everyone wished would just disappear. While no one had said anything like that, the thoughts filled your head nonetheless.

This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened, but you’d never told them. An episode like this hadn’t happened in months so you had hoped they had stopped. Some days you were as happy as you ever had been, but others you felt like a burden. Worthless and pathetic- pitying yourself for no reason at all.

Spike didn’t even know, even after almost a year of dating. You never dreamed of telling him. Spike was always saying that you were the strong one. You were the one that helped him through every day of his endless living. He got his soul for you. What would he say if he saw you like this? If he knew the doubts and loathing going through your head. He would know that you’re weak and vulnerable and you didn’t want that to happen.

So you didn’t tell them. You kept all of your thoughts inside of you as they ate away at your mind. On the outside, you just looked tired. Everyone knew that you stayed awake into the late hours because of Spike, so you hoped that’s what they would think. You were tired, but it wasn’t from lack of sleep. It was like your body just wanted to give up. Maybe if you could just wake yourself up, everything would go back to normal.

Buffy and Willow went out for coffee, so you went with them, hoping the caffeine would be enough to shake you out of this. Instead, it just made you more jumpy and anxious. The cup shook in your hand, but you kept drinking, still hoping that it would give you enough energy to fake it. This, like your out-of-it demeanor, did not go unnoticed.

“Hey, are you feeling okay?” Buffy asked, suddenly stopping her conversation with Willow about shoes. At first, you didn’t realize she was talking to you. You were so focused on the thoughts swarming around in your head, you hadn’t noticed they were both looking at you with concern.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you’ve been spacing out all morning. What’s going on?”

“I guess I’m just tired.” You shrugged, grimacing from the effort the small movement took.

“Are you sure? Did Spike do something stupid, because you know I’ll-”

“Really, Buffy, I’m okay. I think I just need to go home and rest for a while.” You finished the rest of the coffee, feeling your heart beat faster as the anxiety built up in your chest. “I’ll see you guys later, okay?”

“Okay.” Buffy gave you a skeptical glance and Willow smiled sincerely.

“Feel better, Y/N.”

“I’ll see you guys later.” You faked the best smile you could before turning away from them.

“Is she going to be okay?” Willow wondered, watching the way you nervously messed with the hem of your shirt as you walked. Buffy narrowed her eyes and grabbed her bag.

“I don’t know, but if she won’t talk to us about it, there’s one person she will.”

“Oh do we have to go there? You know that place gives me the creeps.” Willow whined. Buffy just gave her a look and the two trekked off in search of your sun-hating boyfriend.

You stood in the middle of your living room as the tears slowly started to pour down your cheeks. The coffee must have given you enough energy to cry and now you couldn’t stop. You couldn’t speak, you couldn’t move, you just stood, frozen by the overwhelming emptiness inside you. Pathetic. Useless. Worthless. Everything was swirling around your head, breaking you down further until you had to lean against the window sill to stay standing.

You could faintly hear something outside your door, but you made no motion to open it. It sounded far away, or maybe you were just blocking it out. All you could hear was your heart pounding, along with the hundreds of doubts rattling in your head. It was until the door burst open that you flinched.

“First, the slayer comes banging on my crypt, telling me that something’s wrong and then you leave me to break down your door- if I could die, you would have scared me to death. Why didn’t you open the door?” Spike huffed in frustration. You didn’t turn around. Frankly, you hardly noticed he was there. His irritation quickly faded, replaced by worry. “Y/N, love, what is it?”

You still didn’t respond, keeping your back turned with your hands clinging to the window sill to keep from falling. Spike approached you slowly and you thought you heard his footsteps, but part of you thought you were just imagining him. Why would he come for you? It was the middle of the day and the sun was high in the sky. A rush of guilt washed over you. He came here despite the danger of being burned and you didn’t even have a reason. You’d put him at risk for your own pitiful problems.

“Darling, why won’t you look at me?” He took another step towards you, but stopped. The sun’s rays created a shield around you, preventing him from pulling you into his arms. “If you could just lower the blinds, that would make this far less awkward.”

“You d-didn’t need to come here. T-the sun.” You stammered. You wanted to reach for the curtains, but you still couldn’t move your arms without your legs giving out.

“A little sunlight isn’t going to stop from me from getting to you,” he said sincerely. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him rush to the window, the sound of his skin sizzling in the light made you let go of the ledge. Your legs buckled just as he got the curtains closed.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” You had hurt him. All you had to do was reach up and shut out the sunlight and you couldn’t even do that. He burned himself just to reach you.

“It’s alright. I’ve got you. It’s alright.” He held you up for a moment before sinking to the floor to hold you in his lap. “I’ve got you love, I’ve got you.”

“Y-you shouldn’t be here, Spike. I’m not-” You hid your face from his view so he would see the tears. “I’m not worth all of this. There’s something wrong with me. One minute I’m fine and the next I’m like this and I don’t even know why. I don’t have a reason to feel like this. It’s like I’m… broken or something.”

“You aren’t broken.” Spike said softly, tucking your head under his chin and gently rocking you back and forth. “You’re human.”

He held you like that for a long while, not saying anything or even moving off of the floor. He didn’t make you look at him until he was sure you had relaxed enough. Putting a finger under your chin, he gently lifted your face to meet his.

“I’m sorry about all this.” You sniffed, using your sleeve to wipe some of the dampness off your cheeks.

“I don’t want to hear those worse from you for the rest of the day.” Spike gave you a small smile and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I would trek across deserts wrapped in a blanket if it meant being here with you. Every second is worth it.” Now, he lowered his lips down to yours for a slow, sweet kiss. When he pulled back, his eyes were shining with the soul of a man in love. “To me, love, you’re worth the world.”

You stared into his eyes and knew that he meant every single word. While it didn’t chase away your doubts or the empty feeling in your chest, it helped you see that this feeling would end. And for now, that was enough.

“I love you.” You whispered, pulling him closer. He kissed the top of your head.

“I love you too, darling.” He hooked his arm under your knees and stood, holding you against his chest. “Now, why don’t I get you something to eat and we can spend the day in bed?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “I’ll behave, I promise.”

“Spike.” You laughed lightly.

“There,” He beamed, “I knew I could get a smile.”

He carried you into your room and placed you on your usual side of the bed, laying your fluffiest blanket over top of you. Then he vanished into your kitchen, the sound of your cupboards opening and shutting reminding you that he had no idea where anything was. It almost made you smile. He came back in with a bowl of your favorite cereal, a class of milk, and a thin leather bound journal.

“What’s that?” You wondered as he climbed into the bed beside you. He handed you the cereal and milk and put his arm around you, pulling you close.

“Eat your cereal.” He ordered teasingly, opening up to the first page. You tried to look over his shoulder, but he pulled the book away, laughing. “Do you want me to read or not?”

“What is it?” Your curiosity made your tone amused and playful. You were starting to sound like you again.

“Well, ever since I got this pesky soul back, I’ve had an unbearable amount of feelings running about in my head, so I figured I could at least put them to good use.”

“Spike, are they…?” You perked up with excitement. He smiled sheepishly.

“Poems.” He looked down at seemingly endless pages of his writings and back at you. “They’re mostly about you, of course. I thought, maybe, you’d like to hear them. See if they’d make you feel a little better.” You were almost too awestruck to nod.

“I’d really like that.”

With your cereal in hand, you curled up beside him, laying your head back against his shoulder. He read softly and slowly, his gentleness with his words almost lulling you to sleep. The poems were beautiful, forcing you to stay awake if only to hear one more word. Spike felt you relaxed against him as he read and paused his reading to kiss your forehead, then your cheek, and lastly your lips.

You felt the emptiness for a few more days, but each day, he was by your side, making sure you ate and gave yourself time to breathe. By the time you started to feel normal again, he’d read most of his poems and continued to write more and you were able to go for your evening walks without feeling exhausted. Your friends were more than supportive and helped you through it all while still giving you the space you needed.

It wasn’t the last time an episode like this happened, but now you always knew that, no matter what, you’d never be alone.

General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination; @mylovegoesto; @yellowbadgergirl; @itmejado; @suckmyapplejacks; @kendahl0216

#spike x reader #james marsters #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #btvs #spike #spike buffy #xander harris #buffy summers #willow rosenberg #buffyverse #comfort fic #depressive episode #comfort boyfriend fic #cute

424 notes · View notes

losingitinjersey · 2 years

Photo

December 2020 vs December 2021. Craaaaazy the difference a year makes! Here’s hoping Aug can catch up to Erp in the hair department here soon! Photo 1, 2, 3 = Erp at one year old Photo 4, 5 = Erp at two years old Photo 6 = Aug at 4 months old

We’re doing well over here. Like, actually well. Do you know how much of a difference sleep makes in my ability to handle life? SO MUCH of a difference! The night before my mini-meltdown I barely got any sleep (thanks to husband, cat, baby and my brain) which catapulted everything else into tailspin territory. Since then I’ve put sleep first and protected it at all costs.

Tuesday was on hard mode. Both kids were home thanks to daycare closing (unnecessarily) for weather and it was my first day back (not technically but first day back after the holidays so mentally, yes) and I had four meetings to juggle.

Wednesday Erp went to daycare (BLESS) and since I was down to just one kid I spent the ENTIRE DAY head down in work with five meetings and lots of time spent taking care of tasks. It was sosososo needed to help me feel like a productive member of the company again.

Thursday (today!) was another Erp daycare day (I’d love to not specify this but I don’t feel like I can rely on them being open right now due to temperature checks, covid closures and random weather bs) but I only had three meetings (one with @nycnomad where we had to split it up into two blocks because we had SO much to say to one another) but I felt like I could actually breathe more and didn’t need to spend every moment frantically trying to catch up.

Tomorrow I only have one meeting so it’s going to be even better! All the ability to get caught up and have more of a work/life balance type day.

------

I haven’t done any official new years resolutions, nor do I plan to, but one thing I mentioned to Kevin a few weeks back is that I don’t want my constant dieting getting in the way of our making memories.

A huge part of our relationship is built around food* and I feel like since I’m always so focused on eating keto and eating at home, I don’t want that to prevent experiences and moments together. I will probably be dieting in some shape or form for the rest of my life and since there’s so little time (right now) we’re able to spend together due to our schedules, I don’t want to keep us from missing out on living life together in this way.

So, I want to try somewhere new at least once a month if not every few weeks. If I make sure to limit it to one meal, I don’t expect it to set me back too much. If anything, hopefully it will make me double down on the rest of the time to make up for it. We’ll find out! It’s a worthwhile experiment! (Weird that I’m looking to be less strict this year??!)

As such, when Kevin came home earlyish tonight (4:30 p.m.) I asked him if he wanted to go pick up Erp from daycare with me and then we could all swing by a Greek place we wanted to try and grab dinner to eat at home. It was such a nice deviation from the norm and because of this, I ate the best baklava I’ve ever had. So excited to start creating more moments like this!

*When we first started dating, we had a rule where we weren’t allowed to visit a restaurant twice. We always had to try some place new until we’d hit every restaurant in town, THEN we could do repeats. It was so fun :)

#please don't reblog #momblr #erp is two years old #aug is almost five months

65 notes · View notes

taestefully-in-luv · 3 years

Text

The Island | KTH (Nine)

Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?

Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader

Genre: strangers to lovers, very slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.

Word Count: 9.3k

Warnings: swearing, sexual tension (?) mentions of sex, vaginal fingering, masturbation, cum eating, choking.

Notes: Sorry it’s late! But here is chapter 9! Next chapter things start to get interesting again hehe. Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, or send an ask if just want to chat about the stories!:)

Taglist: @ggukkieland @707sblog @peacedreamer14 @dopedreamfireparty @taebae19 @typicalgenzworld @mooniyooni @helenazbmrskai @justinetingball @jpeachytaev @marplest @calling-dips-on-j-hope @lecavivien @fancycollectormoon @mawwnsterr @siredsong

Previous --- Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Kim Taehyung, huh?” Ellie circles around the man like a god damn vulture. She inspects him carefully, her eyes raking his body over and over. “Yeah.” She stops, looks him up and down one more time and nods her head approvingly. “He’s hot as fuck.”

“Ellie…” you whine, “Can you please at least try to act normal?”

Ellie brings her cigarette to her lips, inhaling the poison before blowing it out. “Nah.”

Taehyung looks at you with wide eyes, his amused smile growing wide and taking over his face. His eyes then meet your sisters and he bows his head slightly and smirks to himself.

“Nice to meet you Ellie.” He gets out before you can say anything else.

“Mom’s going to hate this, you know?” Ellie takes another drag of her cigarette, “Going to Korea for 3 weeks? Taking a leave of absence from work? Dude going to another fucking country, girl you are crazy.” Ellie laughs, but she approves.

“Why do I even have to tell her?” you can’t help but pout. You admit your mother can be…something else.

“Are you serious y/n?” Ellie looks at you with pinched brows, “You went missing for 8 months and now you want to disappear for another 3 weeks? Without her knowing? Are you trying to kill her?”

“I guess you have a point—”

“—I’m meeting your parents, y/n.” Taehyung cuts in, walking closer to your side. You three are standing outside your apartment building where you two met Ellie. It’s the morning of Taehyung’s flight but he is missing it.

“You are what now?” you ask totally off guard.

“Ellie can you set up a time and place for us to meet them? I’m afraid y/n will try to make an excuse.” He sighs out, “Please.”

Ellie raises a brow, impressed at how straight forward Taehyung seems to be. She pulls out her phone and dials for your dad.

“Taehyung…” you look over at him and he only stares at you with hard eyes. He’s mad at you. As he should be, you think.

“I want to meet them, I think it is… important.” He breathes out, “Don’t you?”

You nibble on your lips as you think, you even mumble some nonsense Taehyung can’t understand before you finally nod your head.

“Okay.” You agree shyly, “If you want to.”

“You realize you will be meeting my parents too, right?” Taehyung walks closer to you, “And all of my friends.”

“What? Even Hana?” You snap, “Joy.”

“y/n…” Taehyung warns in a low voice. “Don’t be that way.”

“Don’t be that way?” You whisper shout, trying to keep your voice somewhat down so Ellie can’t hear you as well as she has her phone to her ear.

“Don’t be that way? You fucked another girl, Taehyung.”

“Is that fair, y/n? You had no intention of ever talking to me again.” Taehyung bites, “You are being so fucking unfair.” His eyes squeeze shut as he tries to calm down. “Fuck.”

Your eyes look up and you scan the sky. It’s cloudy today, almost looks like it could rain but it probably won’t. It just tricks you into thinking it might, kind of feels like your mood.

“Trouble in paradise already?” Ellie brings the phone down a bit to speak to you two. “Dad isn’t answering, I’ll try mom.” She says, bringing the phone back to her ear.

You huff out a short, frustrated breath as you nod your head towards your sister. You can’t even look at Taehyung right now, you feel betrayed over Hana but also you feel guilty because he is right. You are being so fucking unfair. And also this begs the question…did you have no intention of ever talking to him again?

You push that thought away as you stare at your sister, watching her expectantly as she waits for your mom to answer the phone.

“y/n.” Taehyung finally opens his eyes and gazes down at you, “Follow me.”

“Taehyung, no—”

“Now.” His voice expresses the deepest parts of the sea, the depth so intimidating. Your eyes slide to the side as you release a few shaky breaths. You mumble a weak ‘okay’ and follow him a few feet to the side, walking towards the stairs to your apartment building.

“Let’s try to get along.” He sighs, his hands at his sides until he’s reaching up to drag a hand down his tired face. “For both our sake’s.”

“Are you forcing yourself to be nice to me?” you ask, a bite in your tone and Taehyung looks down at you with his cold, intimidating stare.

“Mostly.” He comments plainly and you feel your heart pinch.

“Why even bother? Why force yourself if you hate me?” You find the courage to look into his eyes and he narrows his at you.

“I don’t hate you. I’m fucking pissed at you.” He begins, “I’m allowed to be hurt and act accordingly.” He breathes out heavily, “Don’t you think?” he challenges you.

“Okay, okay.” You roll your eyes. “I-“

“Don’t get a fucking attitude either, I’m the one who is mad here.” Taehyung crosses his arms over his chest. “If I were you I would be working on your apologies.”

You feel like a child being scolded and it infuriates you. He is treating you like a god damn kid and you can’t help but feel like you probably deserve it.

“Okay, Taehyung.” You slump your shoulders slightly, “I understand…”

Taehyung’s hand finds itself in your hair, his fingers sliding down to play with the ends.

“Good girl.” He praises with a smug smile.

You are upset but hearing him call you a good girl has your stomach doing flips. You two have barely touched the other since you have seen him, he has kept his distance and you are too nervous to make the first move. Last night he slept on your couch…yeah, he didn’t even want to sleep in the same bed as you. At least he stayed with you though and not that dingy hotel.

You can’t help but feel like the miles your home and his home had you apart feels like nothing compared to the distance between you two now. He says he loves you and wants to make this work but he can barely look at you and it is painfully obvious. He’s hurt, so hurt. He isn’t being shy about how hurt and disappointed he is and it’s hard to swallow.

Taehyung hasn’t made many attempts to be closer to you, in fact, it seems like he is going out of his way to not be close to you. Which only causes you to sink deeper and deeper into your hole of self-pity. Why did he say he wants this to work yet he is acting the way he is?

“I don’t hate you. I’m fucking pissed at you.” He begins, “I’m allowed to be hurt and act accordingly.” He breathes out heavily, “Don’t you think?”

Right. He has every right to be acting the way he is. He is allowed to be hurt and you shouldn’t turn this around to make yourself the victim here, when it’s clear here on who should be upset.

But the thought of Taehyung sleeping with someone who isn’t you makes you fucking furious but also depressed as hell. He couldn’t last 6 months without sticking his dick in someone else?

Then you remember that in his mind you had no intention of ever talking or seeing him again. Truthfully, you don’t know if he is wrong about that. It’s possible you really weren’t ever going to reach out. You’re the worst.

You don’t even know what Taehyung went through while being without you but the empty look in his dark, chocolate eyes tells you it was not pretty. He hasn’t opened up about it but it’s not like you two really have found the time or space to discuss. You have to respect the fact that he wants space, that he wants distance, that he wants to feel his emotions even if they are negative. He’s allowed to feel his emotions, y/n.

“Mom said her and dad can meet us down town at that one restaurant you like y/n…with the pretty drapes.” Ellie walks up to you and Taehyung. “They’ll be here this evening. Mom and dad are excited to meet you Taehyung.”

“Ah, really?” Taehyung asks Ellie while his gaze remains on you. “Me too.”

Ellie looks between you two and awkwardly nods her head. “Okay, I should get going but I will see you guys this evening.”

“Sounds good…” You respond to her, your eyes finally leaving Taehyung’s as you give your attention to you sister. “Send me a text when you are on your way to the restaurant.”

“Will do.” She leans in, hugging you quickly and leaving a kiss on your cheek. “See you two tonight.” She pulls back and faces Taehyung giving him a small wave then she if off to her car leaving you and Taehyung.

“Should we head inside?” you ask quietly, swinging your arms at your sides. “I can make you some pancakes?” you offer shyly and Taehyung frowns. Fucking frowns.

“I kind of ate pancakes almost every day,” He admits, “Oh!” he lights up, “Do you know how to make French toast?”

Your lips curve upward into a small smile, “Yes, Tae. I can make you some French toast, if that’s what you would rather have.”

“Let’s go inside.” He gestures towards the stairs and you follow closely behind him. You two walk down a hall until he is stopped at your front door, you run into his back and stumble back.

“Careful.” He whispers, “Don’t want you falling.” He reaches for the knob and opens the door, walking inside. You follow him, closing the door behind you and taking your shoes off.

“I knew yours would taste even better. You just have a way with breakfast food, did you know that?” Taehyung stuffs his face with another slice of the French toast you whipped up. You can’t help but giggle as you watch him, he looks so invested in this last piece of French toast like he wants to take his time with it so it’ll never end.

“Hey, my cooking elsewhere has improved!” you whine.

“When we get to Korea,” Taehyung begins, his eyes finding yours. “I want to show you some dishes I like and maybe we can learn to cook them together.”

“Mine will never be as good as your moms, let’s get that out there right now.” You laugh and Taehyung nods his head like he agrees with you, you playfully swat his arm across the table.

“But yours can be second best. Even if you aren’t any good, I’ll still eat it.” He grins at you and you roll your eyes.

“You’ll eat my bad cooking?”

“Only because I …” Taehyung’s grin gets wiped off his face before he can even finish that sentence. “Because I…love you.” He says more quietly, now avoiding your gaze.

“Right…” you feel your pinching heart want to give up on you, it hurts in your chest.

Taehyung looks at you, he doesn’t really know what to say at this point. He doesn’t know how to act like he wants to. He’s too hurt. But he has to try. Or else he isn’t sure what will come from the two of you.

“I do love you.” He sighs out, “So much.” He reaches across the table and takes your hand in his and he feels himself grow weaker and weaker. “But I do want to take this slow. We have a lot to learn about one another now that we are in reality again. We aren’t in our own bubble like how we were.”

You take your bottom lip between your teeth and start nibbling nervously. Take it slow how?

“Am I allowed to hug you? Kiss you?” you ask, almost ashamed that you had to ask something like that.

“I’m not feeling all too affectionate…” Taehyung admits softly, “But,” he bites his own lips as he looks down at your hands. “I could take a hug right now.”

You pull your hand away from his and draw it towards your body, you intertwine your fingers together in your lap and sigh out. Your eyes on your hands, your head hanging low.

“Are you sure?” you hear your voice crack and you want to disappear.

“Come here baby.” Taehyung stands from his chair and waits for you expectantly. “Come hug me.” He says, his voice nice and low like a hum.

You slowly rise from your chair and without looking at him you inch closer and closer until he’s pulling you in by the arms.

He hates this almost as much as you do. Maybe even more. He thought he would come here, find you and everything would be light and smooth but instead it has proven to be hard, harder than he imagined.

“Hug me back.” He orders softly, dragging your arms to wrap around his waist. “And hold me tightly.”

You circle your arms around his waist and walk closer until your head is being shoved into his chest. You can smell him like this, his scent filling your nostrils and creating a long, string of memories linked with his scent. Suddenly, you are recalling every moment you spent like this. Every moment you ever inhaled him, every moment you felt his scent linger on your own body.

You feel your chest tightening and your throat burning, you try to speak but you can’t. You’re too lost in the scent of Taehyung, too lost to think, your mind fuzzy and tricking you. It says he wants you, needs you, loves you. And you just don’t know how true that is. You feel your cheeks wet from the few tears that are now slipping out of your eyes, you sniffle into his chest and you feel Taehyung tense beneath you.

“Don’t cry.” He says as soft as he can, “Babe…” he starts rubbing your back, his large hand touching you in a way that makes you start to cry harder.

“y/n.” He then hugs you tighter, pulling you in impossibly close.

“I’m just so…so…sorry…” You choke out, sniffling harder now. Taehyung releases a long breath, closing his eyes as he pulls you in flush against him.

“I know…” he keeps his eyes closed as he thinks on what to say. But he comes up short, he just really doesn’t know what to tell you right now.

“You hate me.” You cry harder into his chest and Taehyung finally shoots his eyes open and begins shaking his head.

“I don’t hate you…” he breathes out, “I told you already. I’m just upset. And it’s going to take some time—”

“How much time?”

“y/n, I don’t know.” He bunches the material of your shirt in his hands as he tries to calm his frustrations. “I’m hurt. You really didn’t…you really were going to never talk to me again…like those 8 months we spent together meant nothing to you.”

“That’s not true.” You sob. “I think eventually—”

“When? 10 years from now? You think I would have waited forever?” he mutters.

“Apparently not. You couldn’t even wait 6 months to get your dick wet.” You pull back from him, your eyes puffy from the tears.

“Really y/n?” He steps back from you, “It didn’t mean anything. I was so fucking broken when that happened.”

“Oh? And her pussy was the glue to put you back?” you snap. You watch as Taehyung grows angry, the scowl on his face almost scaring you.

“You are the most unfair fucking person.” He spits out, “Yeah, I fucked Hana. But we aren’t like that, we’re just friends.”

“I don’t want you to be friends with a girl you’ve fucked!” you admit between bated breathes, “Who says it won’t happen again?”

“Me. I say that.” Taehyung growls, “I have no interest in Hana…I was…I was in a really dark place.” He tries to calm himself, “Really dark place.”

“How dark?” you ask, making him feel interrogated.

“Would go to sleep never wanting to wake up.” He says with a straight face and you feel yourself grow guilty. You did that to him. It’s your fault. How do you make up for that?

“Fuck.” You look down at your feet, “I’m so sorry Tae…”

“Doesn’t matter. What matters to me right now is that you understand I don’t want Hana. I obviously want you. I came all the way here to make this work with you.” He huffs out, his eyes boring holes into the top of your bowing head.

“Tell me you understand or it’s going to be that much more work to make this happen.” Taehyung steps closer to you, reaching for your hand.

“We have a lot to work through y/n. This isn’t the island anymore. This is both of our real lives and we’re intertwining them. At least I want to.” His thumb starts rubbing your skin and you feel yourself grow warm. You finally lift your head and gaze into his dark, dark eyes. He is staring at you with so much intensity that you automatically feel intimidated.

“Tell me you will be patient. Tell me you want this. Fuck, tell me you love me.” Taehyung keeps his deep voice low, but you can hear the frustration throughout his words.

“I love you.” You stumble forward until you are embracing him again. “I love you so much.” You begin to cry again, much more softly this time. “I will do anything to make sure this works Taehyung.”

Taehyung can’t help but smile a little, he places a kiss to the top of your head and he sniffs you. Same shampoo as what you had on the island. He feels his eyes sting a bit, the memories of the island beginning to haunt him.

“Anything?” he whispers and you nod your head frantically.

“Let my mom teach you how to make japchae. Then make it for me.”

“You’ll eat it even if it’s bad?”

“Even if it’s bad.”

~~~~~~~

“Very good to meet you, Taehyung.” Your mother drops her hand from his as she eyes him over. “You really spent every day with our y/n? For 8 months? Aren’t you tired of her?” she half jokes.

“I could never.” He replies smoothly. “And it’s also nice meeting you Mr. y/L/n” Taehyung reaches out to shake your dads hand when your father takes it but pulls him in for a tight hug.

“You took care of y/n all that time…” Your dad hugs Taehyung gratefully, taking a moment before he pulls back. “I can’t thank you enough.”

“She took care of me too.” Taehyung smiles as your dad pulls away from him. “Always made me breakfast.” He teases, stealing a glance at you. You are standing here next to him with an awkward smile on your face.

“It wasn’t much…” you say quietly. “Anyway, we should go get our table.”

“I got it!” Ellie comes up to you four, “Let’s go.”

You all follow Ellie to a table for 6. You guys occupy 5 of those spots, your mother uses the extra chair for her purse. The server sets down your menus and takes out his little notepad to take down your drink orders.

A sweet tea for your mother, a coke for your father, waters for both you and Taehyung and a vodka sprite for your sister. You give her a look of amusement before you stop your server from leaving and ordering your own spiked drink.

“Careful girls.” Your mother warns. “There’s no need to get drunk.”

“Oh its one drink mother.” You sister scoffs. “Plus I think y/n could use it.”

“And why is that?” Your dad suddenly becomes interested in your conversation. “Is everything okay? How is work going? Are you making friends?”

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” You wave him off, “It’s just…this dinner serves two purposes.” You admit, your eyes darting all across the room.

“Which are?” your mom narrows her eyes at you. “I know one is to meet your little boyfriend. But what’s the other?”

Boyfriend? Is Taehyung your boyfriend? You guys haven’t discussed it. You only said you two will make it work but what all does that mean?

“Well…” you begin to feel small under your mothers gaze. “I am….” You find it hard to gather the words and the courage to finish your sentence. You feel like the lights above you are too bright, too hot and causing you to sweat slightly.

Suddenly, you feel Taehyung’s large hand caressing and squeezing your thigh. Your head whips up to face him and he is already staring at you with a small smile.

“She’s coming back with me to Korea.” Taehyung states while he continues to look at you, finally, he turns his head to face your parents.

Your mother quite literally chokes on her spit, her eyes expanding twice their size as she looks at the two of you. Your dad rubs her back, trying to calm her.

“She’s what now?” You mother coughs out, “I don’t think I heard that right.”

Your sister looks between the four of you with a wide grin on her face.

“Oh mother dearest…” Elli sings out. “I think you did hear that right.”

“You’re …you’re moving to Korea?”

“Yes.” Ellie jumps in but you twist your head to look at her disapprovingly.

“No…no, just going to visit.” You finally find the courage to say. “For three weeks.”

Your mother scrunches her face up, a look of disappointment on her face.

“y/n. You just started a new job. Don’t you think this is rather irresponsible?”

“It’s only for three weeks darling.” Your dad finally says something. “Right y/n?”

You nibble on your bottom lip and nod your head a few times.

“For now.” Taehyung cuts in. His hand continues to rub your thigh and you hate to admit how much feeling his hand on your thigh makes you feel so good.

“Wait.” You snap out of your thoughts, “What do you mean ‘for now’, huh?”

Taehyung looks down at the table, about to respond to you when the server comes back with your drinks.

“Your tea mam…” the server sets down the tea in front of your mother and she barely reacts. She only blinks at you and Taehyung, her face gone pale.

“Yes, Taehyung.” She starts, “What do you mean for now?”

Taehyung opens his mouth but closes it just as quickly. He turns to face you and he awkwardly smiles.

“I feel like that’s something we have to talk about…just me and you.”

“If it’s something just us to discuss then why bring it up in front of my parents?” You grit out nervously.

“Right…sorry.” Taehyung mumbles, he reaches for his water that the server just set down. “You’re in this right?” He asks before taking a sip of his water. “With me?”

You blink at him a few times before glancing at your parents, they look at you with curiosity. Then your eyes find your sisters who is drinking her vodka sprite with a smug smile.

“Yeah y/n.” Ellie takes a few sips. “Are you in this?” Then you feel her kick your foot with hers.

“Y-Yes.” You say, a bit shy. But Taehyung finds himself relaxing.

“Then, for now.” He repeats himself from earlier, “One day we will live together, don’t you think? But don’t worry it’s up for debate where.”

“L-Live together?” you get out awkwardly.

“If you remember correctly y/n, it’s not like we haven’t lived together before.” He squeezes your thigh. “Don’t worry it’s something we will get to…slowly.”

You nod your head in understanding and face your parents. You exhale a deep breath and find your mothers eyes.

“I will be leaving tomorrow for 3 weeks. Taehyung and I…” Your eyes slide to your side where Taehyung is sitting. “We have a lot to work through. I’m sure you can be understanding of our situation.”

“Of course sweetheart.” Your dad smiles at you, but your mother is shaking her head.

“You didn’t even want to reach out to him? You think you can enter a relationship when you didn’t even want to talk to him?” Your mother snaps at you. She crushes the napkin in her fists as she speaks. “You can’t handle this y/n.” she looks at you with cold eyes.

“Mom—”

“She can.” Taehyung cuts in, “She is stronger than you give her credit for Mrs. y/l/n.”

Your mother scoffs at this, she throws her napkin in her lap and shakes her head.

“You don’t know her then. Taehyung.”

You feel yourself grow smaller and smaller as your mother continues to bash you. You try to even your breathing but her words carry weight.

“Jesus Christ, mother.” Ellie cuts in. “Do you even know the first thing there is to know about y/n?”

“I think I know my daughter well enough that when there is the first sign of something not working she runs away.”

“So what?” Taehyung growls. “So I am supposed to abandon her because she has personal shit to work through?”

“Tae…” you mumble weakly, “Let’s just go…”

Your sister finishes her drink and slams it down on the table, she looks at you with eyes on fire.

“Really y/n? Just going to prove her point like that?” Ellie hardens her expression as she stares at you waiting for your reply.

You feel weak. But your sister is right. You can’t let your mother win every time.

“Listen, you can agree or disagree but I am going.” You look your mother right in the eye. “I love him. And we have a lot to work through if we want this.” You say honestly. “So, whether you guys agree or not, I am going.”

“Of course we agree.” Your dad continues to rub your mothers back. “Your mom is just worried about you.”

“I’ll return home in three weeks.” You say confidently until you notice your mother’s eyes glossed over.

“Will you though? I thought I lost you. Now you want to disappear again.” Your mom says quietly. “He’s the reason you were gone for 8 months.” She points at Taehyung. “And now he wants to steal you away again.”

You pinch your brows together and try to breath evenly as your mom’s words sink in. She blames Taehyung for the island?

“It’s not his fault for the island mom…” you look between her and your sister, looking for answers. Ellie just shrugs.

“It doesn’t matter what I think, right?” your mother spits out. “Just do what you want y/n.”

“I will?” you say slowly. “That’s kind of the whole point.”

“You leave tomorrow?” Your father asks, still rubbing your mothers back.

“Flight is at 10 am.” You respond, “I promise I will be back.”

“She will come back.” Taehyung says softly, the guilt evident in his voice. “You can trust me to take care of her.”

“Okay, then that’s all settled!” Your dad claps his hands together. “Should we order some food? You kids get what you want, we’re paying tonight.”

~~~~

“Do you want to take a shower…with me?” Your timid voice shakes a little as you ask Taehyung if he wants to you know, fucking shower with you.

His eyes rake over your body, you are wearing just a towel and his eyes widen at the sight. Your skin looks so soft, so delectable. Your towel barely covering the entirety of your breasts and it doesn’t help how short it is, your thighs so exposed. Your hair falls over your shoulders and your collarbone begs to be kissed.

Taehyung shakes these thoughts from his mind and looks up at you from his spot on the couch.

“I can’t…” he says slowly, “I am serious about going slow.”

“You don’t have to fuck me.” You put it bluntly. “I just miss you. Want to be close to you.”

“You won’t tempt me?” he rises from the sofa. “The most you are allowed to touch me is washing my hair.” He states.

“Okay.” You agree quickly. “Come shower with me.” You reach for his hand and he immediately wraps his fingers around yours, making you get all warm and gooey inside.

“I missed you too.” He whispers, following you into the bathroom. “Missed you so much.”

You take a step away from him and gesture for him to take off his clothes. He raises a brow at you and lifts his hands up.

“Take my clothes off for me.” He lightly teases, “But don’t let your hands linger.”

You scoff, rolling your eyes but you do as he says. You pull his shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor and then your hands go to his pants. Your fingers quickly try to slide down his zipper and drag his jeans down leg by leg. He kicks them off to the side as you reach for the waistband of his briefs. You lick your lips as you slowly slide them down his legs, his cock springing free. He isn’t hard, not that hard at least, but his size is still impressive.

“Turn the water on babe.” He points towards the shower, “And lose the towel.”

You let the towel drop to the floor as you walk towards your shower, Taehyung watches your ass as you walk. He can’t help but bite down on his plump bottom lip, just watching you. He wishes he could take you by the hair, bend you over and fuck you for hours. But he’s afraid at this point the only sex he can have with you is angry, hate sex. And he wants his first time with you again to be full of love and nothing but.

“Make the water nice and warm.” He softly commands.

You twist the knob, making the water run in hot streams. It warms up quickly so you grab Taehyung’s hand and lead him into the shower.

The water stings a bit as it hits your back but you throw your head back anyway and let it wash over you fully.

“Shampoo.” You tell Taehyung and he is already squeezing it into his hand. You walk forward until you are touching Taehyung, chest to chest. He gulps when he feels your nipples grazing his skin.

“Close your eyes.” He commands. “I’m going to wash your hair now.” He massages your head tenderly, your hair turning into a soapy mess. “Rinse now.” He pushes you back until you are back under water.

This continues on, he rubs conditioner in your hair and then takes your washrag and pumps some body wash into it.

“Going to clean you.” He says lowly, “Is that okay?”

“Mhm.” You swallow down your nerves and agree to him touching you. First he moves your hair back and starts at your shoulders. He scrubs them slowly, the soap and water falling down your chest and your arms. Taehyung follows the soap, his eyes traveling all down your body.

“Have you lost weight?” he asks, slightly concerned.

You feel yourself blush.

“Maybe a little.”

“Why?”

“You weren’t the only one going through a hard time, Tae.”

Taehyung nods his head slowly, his hand lowering itself until he is scrubbing at your stomach. He watches all the bubbles form on your skin and he actually feels jealous over fucking bubbles. He gulps, thinking about how these bubbles get to slide down your stomach, how they get to travel down to your pussy.

“y/n…” Taehyung’s deep voice startles you, you are so lost in the way he cleans you. You feel yourself grow more and more frustrated by the way he touches you and you know it will go nowhere.

“Yes?” you say breathlessly. “What’s up?”

“I’m going to clean…” he clears his throat. “Everywhere.” He warns.

You feel your knees go weak at his words, you try your hardest not to rub your thighs together but you can’t help it.

“Okay.” You murmur.

Taehyung’s hands glides down your lower stomach, making you tense. Then his fingers find your pussy and he is rubbing his fingers over it, nice and slow.

“Did you fuck anyone else?” his low voice asks you.

“N-No.” you shake your head, your knees starting to shake from how weak you are.

Taehyung’s fingers find your clit and he starts rubbing it. You fall forward a little, your head resting on Taehyung’s shoulder as he feels you.

“You didn’t?” He asks again, his deep voice rumbling. “You’re sure?” He starts rubbing faster.

“I promise, Taehyung.” You moan into his shoulder. “You’re the only one I have been with.”

“Then I’ll reward you.” He whispers, “With my fingers.”

His fingers slide down to your hole and he inserts not one, but two fingers into your lonely, desperate cunt.

“Did you ever touch yourself?” he breathes out roughly. “And think of me?”

“Yes.” You pant, “All the time.”

His fingers start thrusting in and out of you quickly. They are so long, so beautiful. You have missed his fingers so much, it’s ridiculous.

“You only came to the thought me?” His breaths are erratic as he speaks. “Because for me, I only thought of you.”

“Yes Tae, yes.”

He finally adds in a third finger, making you feel fuller and fuller. He curls his fingers making you tense, he starts scissoring his fingers, they brush against your special spots and you groan out loud. There’s no way you are lasting another 30 seconds.

“Please let me touch you.” You start to beg, but Taehyung just thrusts his fingers in and out of you faster and harder.

“Please.” You beg again, you squeeze his shoulders with your hands. “I have missed you so much, need to touch you.”

“No.” Taehyung gets out roughly, “No…”

His other hands fingers finds your clit again and starts focusing his energy there, he rubs your clits so expertly that your knees finally give out on you as you start coming all over his hands.

“Ahhhh. Fuck,” your erratic breaths hit the skin of his shoulder as you come undone. “Fuck…” you bite down on his shoulder. Taehyung isn’t much better, his own breaths uneven.

“I don’t deserve you.” Taehyung whispers in your ear. “You’re too good for me.”

“I’m the one who is undeserving.” You admit softly as you steady your breaths. “Please tell me you will sleep with me tonight…in my bed, I mean.”

“Maybe.”

“Please come to bed with me, Tae.” You stand over him as he lays on the couch. “I promise to keep my hands to myself.”

“I don’t trust myself.” He says with his hands behind his head, eyes closed.

“Why are…why are you stopping yourself from being affectionate with me? Why wouldn’t you let me touch you?” you squat down next to him, your face now closer to his.

“Because I don’t deserve you. To be touched by you.” He says softly. “You didn’t sleep with anyone else.” He murmurs, “You stayed loyal to me, despite not knowing when you would see me. But I…” he opens his eyes, he turns his head to face you. “But I did.”

You feel your stomach twist and turn, your heart falling and falling deep into your lower stomach. Hana.

“Why did you do it?” You finally ask, “Why did you feel the need to sleep with her?”

“I was in a dark place, y/n.” Taehyung groans, “The girl I was in love with…am in love with…wanted nothing to do with me.” He looks at you with hard eyes.

“But I hate myself for it.” He admits, “I should have found you sooner, I should have—”

“Tae.” You cut him off before he gets too choked up. “Let’s talk properly. From the beginning.”

“The beginning?” he blinks at you. “Ah. The island. Our fight before we got separated.”

“Yes…” you sit down on the floor, crossing your legs. “I am so sorry. I loved you then just like how I love you now.” You take a deep breath. “My mom isn’t so wrong about me. I ran away when things got hard, or got complicated.” You chuckle bitterly. “But I didn’t think I would wake up and find you to be gone from me, my life.”

“I know…” Taehyung whispers.

“But…” you begin again, “It gives me a whole new appreciation for goodbyes. I should have never let us go to sleep like that, in the middle of a fight, and I will never let that happen again.”

“y/n…” He sits up from his place on the couch and pats the spot next to him, you get up and sit down on the sofa.

“I don’t think the company forced us to have feelings for one another. Because here I am in the real world, so ridiculously in love with you.” you say a bit quietly. “I should have trusted you. Trusted myself. I promise you Taehyung, I will never doubt you again. So tell me how you feel about me and I will believe every word…even if it isn’t all positive.”

Taehyung nods his head as he stares at his feet, his hand goes to your thigh and he starts rubbing it soothingly.

“I love you.” He says after a few moments of silence, “But I am still really hurt over everything. A big part of me keeps telling me you were never going to reach out. That part of me terrorizes me. It screams at me that you don’t actually love me.” He admits lowly, “But hearing you now…it helps.” He says, still rubbing your thigh. “I think I believe in you. Even if you don’t believe in yourself…I really think you would have reached out.” He tells himself more than you. “I have to believe that.” He closes his eyes and is silent for a few more moments.

“Taehyung—”

“Tell me I’m right.” He says desperately. “Just tell me I am right.”

“You’re right.” You say even if you aren’t so sure yourself. “You’re right, babe.”

“You know I don’t play games and I like for everything to be out in the open so I am going to tell you all of my intentions.” Taehyung opens his eyes to look at you.

“Okay.” You gulp.

“I love you and only you.” He begins. “I want this to work for the long run. I want you to meet my family, meet my friends and I want to see how everything goes.” He squeezes your knee. “I’m hoping the visit goes amazing so we can discuss the next steps.”

“Which are?”

“I don’t want to do long distance, y/n…” he brings his hand back to his own body, “I want to live closer to you. Even if that means I have to move here but honestly I think you will really like it in Korea…”

“You want to move together? Like, live together?”

“You already know we can do it. We make pretty good roommates.” He teases, bumping his shoulder into yours.

“Okay, true…”

“Then you realize the things that come after that right?” he says with a smirk on his face. “But first, let’s take these next three weeks as slow as possible. Let’s get to know one another all over again. To see if this really works outside the island.”

“Why do I feel like you are testing me?” you ask with a frown but Taehyung gives you a stern look and shakes his head.

“You’re technically testing me too.” He says, “We need to see if this works.”

“Okay, I get it.”

“I want to officially take you out. On a real date.” He whispers, “Would you like that?”

You feel your blush deepening on your face, your hand goes to your cheek just to feel how warm it is.

“Yes.” You mumble.

“Need to hear you loud and clear baby.”

“Yes.” You say a bit louder and Taehyung’s hand goes back to your thigh, he starts rubbing up and down your leg.

“That’s my good girl.” He leans in to kiss the side of your neck and you feel your whole body go tense under his lips touching your skin.

“Taehyung…” you moan out, closing your eyes. “I miss you.”

“I’m right here.” He whispers into your neck, placing another kiss then he leans away. “Go to bed.” His deep voice echoes.

“Come with me.”

“Not yet baby.”

You slump your shoulders in disappointment. Why is he being so difficult?

“Just to sleep.”

“I can’t control myself around you y/n. Please respect my decision.” He ushers you to stand him so he can lay back down on the couch. You stand up and hover over him for a moment.

“Can I kiss you goodnight?” you asks timidly. Taehyung gnaws on his lips before he is waving you off.

“Please just go to sleep.” He somewhat begs. “I’ll see you in the morning, make sure you’re all packed.”

~~~~~

You are nervous. Nervous as fuck, actually. You and Taehyung just arrived in Korea and even the air is different. You can’t believe you’re actually here, you can’t believe you really got on that plane and flew all the way to Taehyung’s home—the place you were so curious about when you first met him.

Taehyung seems different. Like, being home is showing a whole new side of him. He looks happy, giddy even. He holds your hand tightly as you both walk the streets with your luggage. You two got dropped off from your taxi a couple blocks away from his apartment so he could show you some shops he loves to go to.

“This bar here is quite popular between my friends and I.” he points at a little bar and you just nod your head.

“Looks nice.” You say with starry eyes. “Everything looks nice, actually.”

“We will be going there tomorrow night when we meet up with everyone. My friends-that is.” He squeezes your hand. “Tonight we can go to my parent’s house for dinner. How’s that sound?”

“Already?” you look down at your shoes as you walk. “I thought we could just relax today…”

“It’s like 8 in the morning. There’s plenty of time for a nap.” He comments nonchalantly. “Look, I’m just really excited for you to meet everyone. I understand though…if you want to take a few days…”

“No, no. It’s okay.” You shake your head, you two continue walking until he stops, making you stop.

“We’re here. My apartment.” He points up at the building and you take a deep breath.

“Are you going to make me sleep on the couch?” you half joke and he pulls you into his side, hugging you.

“I haven’t decided yet.” He teases.

You both walk up to his apartment and enter the small place—you say small, but it is bigger than your place and much nicer. How does Taehyung afford this?

“My parents help out…” he admits as if reading your mind. “That’s how I got such a nice place.”

“Ah I see. That’s great!”

“Ever since the island my dad has been super supportive of my music, always just wanting the best for me.” He grins sheepishly. “It’s different but it’s nice.”

“I’m happy for you…I can’t wait to meet your parents.” You place your suitcase and backpack down on the floor, Taehyung does the same.

“Let me give you a tour.” He smiles, taking your hand.

You follow him around as he shows you his apartment, you two take a moment longer in his bedroom. You slide your fingers against his beds blanket, and admire the art on his walls.

“Yes, you will be sleeping in here.” He huffs out dramatically, “I haven’t decided where I am sleeping though.”

“Take a nap with me…” you walk closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Just an innocent nap” you lean into him, your warm mouth at his ear. “Innocent, I promise.” You lean back a bit to see how pink Taehyung is becoming, his face flushing and his body tensing.

“No…” he stutters, “I can’t.” but he can’t help his own hands from wrapping around your waist. He pulls you in closer to his body and breathes you in. God, this is pure fucking torture. He can’t help the way his breathes become rougher, slightly uneven.

“Fuck…” he breathes out. “I want to kiss you so bad.” He says as he grows weaker and weaker in your grasp.

“Then kiss me, Tae.”

“Maybe our first date.” He teases, his hands going lower until they are gripping your hips. “Please tell me you’ll let me take you out this Friday?”

“I have to wait that long?”

“Only 4 days baby.”

“4 days too many.” You pout…”But you are worth the wait.” You lean up and kiss his cheek.

Taehyung slowly closes his eyes, the urge to kiss you stupid is strong. The urge to rip your clothes off and fuck you? Even stronger.

“y/n…” he warns. “Hurry up and take your nap. I’m going to let the guys know we made it,” he says, pulling out his phone.

You bite your lips while nodding your head in understanding. You pull away from Taehyung and pull off your shirt, and slip off your jeans.

“W-What are you doing?” Taehyung blushes as he watches you undress.

“Changing.” You shrug, you walk towards his drawers and open them up one by one, trying to find yourself one of his t shirts.

“You are really testing me, aren’t you?” he bites down on his bottom lip, his eyes scanning your exposed body. “You really want me to slip those panties off and fuck you silly?” he walks closer to you, putting his phone in his back pocket. He crosses his arms over his chest and eyes you.

“Keep going.” He orders. “Take off the rest of your clothes. Sleep in nothing but the t shirt.”

Your head snaps up to face him and you see how serious he is. You swallow down your spit as you reach behind you to unclasp your bra. It falls to the floor and you feel the cool air hardening your buds.

“Panties too.” Taehyung commands, “Take them off slowly though.”

You nod, your hands going to the waistband of your panties, you slowly drag one side down and then the other. You begin to slide them down one leg at a time when you hear Taehyung tsk.

“Slower.” He says sternly. “I said slow.”

You drag them down slower now, they are barely at your thighs when Taehyung takes long strides to meet you. He slaps your hands away and his own hands go to your underwear.

“Like this.” He begins showing you, “Nice and slow. Let the anticipation build.”

He slides them off you so fucking slowly, when they get to your knees he pauses, his eyes traveling up to your exposed pussy. He licks his drying lips and groans.

“I can smell you baby. You’re wet.”

You throw your head back, feeling embarrassed. You squeeze your thighs together when he starts dragging the panties down again. When they’re finally at your ankles, you kick them away.

“You got wet from something like this?” he quirks a brow at you, amusement written all over his face.

“I can’t help it Tae, I need you.”

“You are so greedy,” Taehyung walks closer to you, his fingers sliding up your arms. “You just had my fingers in the shower, now you already need more?”

“I’ll always need more until you let me have you.” You admit between bated breaths.

“Oh is that so?” he teases, his fingers traveling up towards your neck. His fingers wrap around your throat, he squeezes and walks you backwards until your body is against the wall.

“You want to come?” He squeezes your throat just a bit tighter.

“Yes.” You squeak out, you can’t help but swivel your hips.

“My greedy girl wants to come?” he asks again, his other hand gripping your hips. “Then come. Touch yourself.”

“T-Touch myself?” your eyes widen, “What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb baby, take your fingers and rub that clit for me.” He says while squeezing your throat lightly. You feel yourself grow more and more turned on. Your hand reaches down between your legs, and your fingers find your swollen, aching clit.

“How does that feel babe? To finally be touched?” he asks, his hand never leaving your throat as his other hand massages your hip. “I want you coming all over your fingers.”

You rub your clit faster and faster, you’re slowly closing your eyes when Taehyung squeezes your throat a bit harder.

“No.” he says. “You have to keep your eyes on me.”

You open them wider, you stare up at Taehyung, his gaze is dark and intense. Your lips part as you moan out, your whines and whimpers all directed towards Taehyung.

“Mm.” you moan, “Feels good, Tae.” You rub tight, focused circles on your little bundle of nerves, you quickly feel your high approaching. The entire situation making you feel so fucking turned on. Taehyung looks so fucked out as he watches you. His eyes glazed over in lust.

“You going to come?” he asks breathlessly. “Because of me?”

“Yes, yes, yes.” You pant out, “I’m so close.” You tense your whole body as waves of your orgasm begin crashing over you. Your fingers keep going as you ride it out and your head hits the wall as you finally finish.

Taehyung loosens his grip on your neck, and pulls you in for a hug. He brings your naked body to his and he inhales you. Before you can wrap your arms around him and hug him back, Taehyung is grabbing your hand and leading you towards the bed.

“Lay down.” He orders. “Now.”

You give Taehyung a look of question but you do as he says. You lay down on the bed and wait for him to instruct you further.

“Spread your legs.”

You do as he says, spreading your legs nice and wide. You don’t know what to expect though, you eye him curiously.

“Place your fingers at your pussy.” He continues to instruct you. “Yes, like that…now gather your juices for me baby.” He walks over, gets on the bed between your legs. He crawls up your body until his face is in front of your face.

“Get your fingers soaked for me.” He kisses the side of your neck.

You get your fingers nice and wet and you bring them up between your faces, showing him.

“Good. Now let me taste.” He says, “This is the only way I deserve to taste you.”

You frown at that, but you push your fingers past his lips nonetheless.

Taehyung’s eyes roll to the back of his head as his tongue swirls around your fingers, he can’t help but groan as he tastes you. You pull your fingers out of his warm mouth and gather more of your pussy juices. You then bring your fingers to his lips again, pushing past them so he can taste you again and again.

“How do I taste?” You breathe out, “Good?”

“My fucking favorite flavor.” He moans, “Taste yourself.” He commands, taking your hand in his, dipping it between your legs, so your fingers can gather your cum. Then he is bringing your hand back between your faces, and sticking your fingers in your mouth.

“Taste.” He orders quietly.

You lick up your fingers, moaning at your situation.

“I want you Taehyung.” You whisper desperately. “I need you.”

Taehyung bows his head down, breathing roughly at your words. He wants you too. He needs you too. But he still isn’t in the right place to fuck you. He wants this first time to be more than a fuck. He wants to make love to you. He also feels like he doesn’t deserve you now. He feels like shit.

“Not yet.” He breathes out harshly. “But maybe soon.” He struggles to find a steady breath.

“Taehyung…” you whine.

Taehyung rolls off your body, stands to his feet and grabs the t shirt you were going to use. He throws it over to you.

“Put this on and take your nap.” He says softly.

You listen, as usual. You pull the shirt over your head and through your arms and get up to clean yourself off.

Taehyung stands at his window, deep in thought. He wants you. He needs you. He loves you. He’s sure of all three of these things. But it’s too soon to think he has forgiven you isn’t it? It’s too soon to think he’s over it. He wants to be over it, of course. But he knows it is too soon to think he is.

“I guess I will take a nap now.” You announce your presence once again. You pull back Taehyung’s covers and slip inside the bed. The entire bed smells just like him. You pull the blanket to your nose and inhale it, you turn to your side and stuff your face in his pillow, inhaling that as well. Everything smells just like him. It makes you feel weak.

“Okay babe.”

You feel your eyes sting just a bit, the reality is Taehyung is still distancing himself from you. And that makes you feel small, makes you feel weak. You aren’t satisfied with anything. No attention he gives you feels like enough.

“Taehyung?” You call out for him, your voice small. “Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?”

Taehyung leans away from the window and walks over to his bed. He sits on the edge, just staring at you.

“Sure.”

You nod gratefully, you reach out for his hand and he gives it to you.

“This will be a perfect 3 weeks, I swear.” You promise to Taehyung. He feels his heart beating wildly in his chest.

“I know.” He responds in a whisper.

“You are going to fall even more in love with me.” Your voice cracks, your eyes filling with tears.

“I know.” He says quietly.

“You’re never going to want me to leave.”

“I know.”

“You are going to beg me to stay.” You choke on your words and he squeezes your hand.

“I know.”

And he is afraid of that…that he is going to beg you to stay but you will say no. You have your own life at your own home. He knows this is going to take work, he knows this is going to take time. He knows this. But fuck, he is ready to do everything with you. But he knows he needs to take it slow.

“You are going to be so in love with me by the end of this.” You silently cry.

Taehyung feels his heart pinch in his chest, he feels it struggling to find a beat. He knows this. He knows he is so in love with you and the more time he spends with you, it will grow. But do you feel the same? Do you really? You weren’t ever going to reach out, were you? He knows the answer deep down. The same thought fucking haunts him.

“I know.”

#bts #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #kim taehyung #taehyung x reader #Taehyung smut #Taehyung angst #Taehyung fluff #the island chapter 9

241 notes · View notes

dreamescapeswriting · 3 years

Text

Trust In Me ~ PJM [Request]

WORD COUNT: 3.2K

PAIRING: Jimin x reader

GENRE: established-relationship, angst, fluffy ending, mentions of family and being raised by grandparents instead of mother

As you walked down the staircase of your house you placed earrings into your ears, calling out for Jimin to come out.

"Jimin, we're going to be late if we don't leave right now." You cried out as you walked into the living room to find him standing there in his practice clothes. Frowning at him you looked him up at down, today was supposed to be the day he had managed to get off work.

"I thought you got the day off," You whined slipping your shoes on as you looked at him. Jimin felt his stomach begin to churn as he looked at you and lied. Right to your face.

"I got called in again."

"But it's my Grandmothers 90th birthday...We were going to the meal." You reminded him, he had promised you weeks ago that he had gotten the day off and was going to be there.

"I got busy Y/n, I'm sorry." he walked towards you but you ignored his attempt at a hug. All it seemed as of late was that he was busy. Hardly home, always out until late hours of the morning and when he was home he was acting odd. Jittery whenever you asked him how his day had been, on edge whenever you told him that you were going to clean up the house. It felt as though he was hiding something. But you and Jimin had been together for almost 6 years, there was no way he would do something stupid.

That you knew of.

"I know baby, I'll make it up to you," He promised as he attempted to reach for you but you moved away from him. Grabbing your bag and looking around for your car keys.

"You've been saying that for weeks Jimin" You knew you were probably overreacting. You knew what his lifestyle was like. You had been living it for the last six years but that didn't make it easier.

"I'll make sure Seojun is following you." He told you as he looked outside. The world knew about your relationship which meant you travelled almost everywhere with a personal guard. Seojun was there to make sure you weren't trampled by paparazzi or Sassengs in the street. There wasn't anyone out there right now but he knew it wouldn't be long until someone was around.

"Thanks." You mumbled turning to leave when he took your hand in his, pulling you closer to him so that you were chest to chest with one another.

"You can't forget this." He placed a gift bag into your hand. The present you had gotten for Grandmas birthday. Something that the two of you had been planning on giving her for almost nine months.

"This is from both of us. I can't give it to her without you." You looked into the bag at the wrapped-up box and Jimin sighed.

"She'll know I'm sorry." Without a word to him, you walked out of the house with the bag. Climbing into the car more pissed off than ever that Jimin would leave you to go to a function like this alone.

Jimin stood watching you leave and biting down on his lip. It was never his intention to hurt you but this was something he had to do in secrecy. Grabbing his phone scrolling through until he found the name, "Seojun 2" and pressed the call.

"Can you meet me at the house?" He questioned as soon as the other line picked up.

"Sure. Shall I order pizza for when we're done?" An excited female voice asked as she got happy to hear Jimin calling her so early in the morning.

"Of course how could I ever say no when you get so excited like this?" He chuckled grabbing his bag and keys before heading out to his own car. Throwing a bag into the boot before climbing into the front seat,

"Make sure you bring protection this time, I'm not having a repeat of last time. We got in such a mess!" She grumbled at him as she began to think back on all of their times together.

"It wasn't my fault we were in the mess." Jimin scoffed as he began to start up the car and put his phone onto the stand,

"I think you'll find that it was your fault. You're so messy," She complained,

"I never hear you complain until the next time we see each other. I'll see you soon. Make sure you're ready, I want to start right away." He laughed before getting ready to end the phone call,

"So eager Mr Park."

"Only for you." He teased playfully. Hanging up and beginning his slow drive.

"Happy birthday Grandma," You whispered as you walked into the small restaurant your family was hosting in. A small family-run restaurant that had been in the mall for almost 12 years. Your whole family had been going there for years, your grandmother insisting that it was the only restaurant she would ever eat inside of.

"Thank you, dear," She looked behind you and you knew what she was looking for. Grandma happened to be Jimin's number one fan.

"He couldn't make it." You whispered as you put the gift bag down onto the table of other gifts and looked back at Granny who seemed to be upset.

"Why?"

"Because he had other things to do." You shrugged it off giving her a quick peck on the cheek before going to find you both a drink.

The truth was you had no idea where Jimin was. It seemed that he was always busy lately and it was beginning to bother you. You had no idea what he was so busy with. There was no comeback coming up and they weren't filming any dancing videos for their channel.

"Your grandfather used to get like that whenever he was hiding something." Your mother's voice sounded from beside you. Anger boiled up inside of you as soon as she felt the need to insert herself in your business when she was never really much of a mother anyway. Not to you at least.

"He isn't hiding anything." You hissed at your mother. She'd never liked you and Jimin together. She never liked you with anybody now that you came to think about it.

"All I'm saying is, he's a very handsome young man. He could have anybody he wanted." She smirked at you, you knew what she was thinking. The moment you had bought him to meet your grandmother your mother had begun flirting with Jimin. Doing anything she could to get his eyes on her.

"Thanks, mum." You grumbled sarcastically before walking away to go and join your grandmother who was opening her gifts. Your brother begging to go first as she picked up an envelope.

"That one's from me!" Your brother yelled excited as your grandmother began to tear it open, frowning and staring over at him as she slowly pulled out what was inside.

"Retirement home flyers?!" You cried out looking from the flyers and back to him as he nodded his head clearly proud at what he had gotten her.

"Granny needs somewhere she can live," Granny wasted no time in rolling the papers up and smacking him with them playfully until he pulled out a small box.

"This is your real one," He whined as he gave her the box. She pulled it open,

"It's Granddads old medals. I had them polished and cleaned." She began to tear up before hugging him tightly. Practically making his eyes pop out from his head as she thanked him over and over again.

"Mine next," You whispered pushing the box towards her. Something you had been keeping quiet for months, scared in case she hated it.

"It's from me and Jimin,"

"Who isn't here," Your mother laughed before your brother jabbed her in the side.

"Shut up and sit down. I don't see you with a date either." Grandma shut her up, taking the box from you carefully and smiling up at you.

Pulling the box open she began to tear up once again, tears beginning to roll down her face as she saw the snowglobe sitting there.

"A snowglobe for your collection," You smiled as you picked it up to show her that there was a small model of her old home. The one you had spent most of your life growing up inside of.

"Y/n how did you do this?" Your brother gasped as he moved closer to get a better look at the house. It was almost an exact replica, all it was missing was the porch swings.

"I found someone online who can make custom globes, Jimin and I went to the old house we got pictures." You explained as you shook the snowglobe for your grandmother.

"It's still standing?" She gasped looking up at you with widened eyes.

"Barely. It was practically withering away while we were there but the artist managed to capture everything it used to look like." You smiled remembering the day you took Jimin. It was almost 9 months ago, the two of you went for a road trip to go and find it, You'd almost cried seeing it so dishevelled and abandoned. The inside was terrible with broken glass on the floor, burnt flooring. The inside joinery was exposed and all of the wiring and copper had been stolen. You and Jimin had sat together for a few hours talking about how much the place meant to you and how much you wished you could have saved it.

"This is amazing, thank you." She left a giant kiss on your cheek and you smiled as she began shaking it and showing it off to anyone that was looking at her. Like a child on Christmas.

"I'm glad you like it, I'll text Jimin." You smiled before going to go and find a drink which you had intended to do before.

Sitting by the window you looked out at the people that were doing their shopping. The party seemed to be dragging by slowly since Jimin wasn't with you to help lighten the mood up a little.

"You're daydreaming." Grandma laughed as she fed you some more mozzarella sticks. Practically piling your plate higher each time. She claimed that you never ate enough when she was around and would always give you more food than you could possibly ever handle.

"Sorry, are you enjoying your birthday?" You questioned as you looked at her, she nodded her head. The whole family seemed to have spoiled her, which she truly deserved for everything she had done in her lifetime.

"It's been fun besides your mother, I swear she thinks I'm suddenly going to drop down dead." Your mother had been questioning her about the will all day. It came as no surprise that she only came around sniffing for money.

"Nope, you're going to live until 190," You teased as she shook her head at you. Taking your hands in hers and squeezing them softly making you look at her as she took on a serious look.

"You were always my favourite." You shook your head and scoffed at her,

"Granny..." You said slowly hoping that no one around you was listening to the conversation.

"I'm serious...When I do go everything will be going to you Including the silver. Make sure you hide that from your auntie Gina." She grumbled looking over at Gina who was eyeing up some of the gifts at the table. She was always sly about it but things magically disappeared whenever she was around.

"What about mum?"

"What about her? She gets nothing." You sighed before looking back out of the window. Your grandmother had practically raised you in that old house while your mother did nothing but party and not come home until 4 am only to sleep until 4 pm and start all over again.

"What about my brother-" You stopped yourself from speaking when you caught a glimpse of someone in the distance. It looked like Jimin.

"He gets to have Grandpas stuff, he always loved to look at it." You nodded as you continued to look over at the couple walking around together. Arms linked and ice cream in their hands. It couldn't have been Jimin.

Could it?

"I'm going to get some air," You whispered as you excused yourself from the restaurant and headed out of the door. Keeping your head down just in case it was Jimin.

"What are we doing?" Seojun asked as he finished off the slice of cake he was chewing. The family had been feeding him mass amounts of food since he had been standing by the door for most of the duration of the party.

"Going to see if that's Jimin," You whispered looking up at him as you pointed over near a shop. It was like his whole demeanour changed as he stared over in the direction you had pointed in.

"Seojun?" You questioned when you noticed how weird he seemed to be.

"It's not him." He mumbled,

"You barely even looked."

"It's not him." He told you again as he tried to usher you back to the restaurant but you got out of his grasp.

"I'll go over there myself and see-" You didn't need to go over yourself, the girl began laughing loudly and you turned to look. Jimin was standing there, the small tattoo on his left wrist a giveaway that it was him. The date of your anniversary was tattooed there.

"Y/n! We have more cake!" Your grandmother yelled from the door but you felt too sick to move. Everything was still going over in your head. Did you confront him now or later?

"You should do this later Miss Y/l/n, you don't want to ruin the party," Seojun whispered as he began to pull you into the house. Frantically texting Jimin to alert him that you had seen him out with another woman. The other woman he had been hiding from you.

When Jimin walked through the door that night he expected you to be asleep. That maybe you had calmed down from everything you had seen earlier but he couldn't have been more wrong. You were sitting and waiting for him surrounded by cups of coffee. It was clear you had decided to wait up for a long time for him.

"Where have you been? And don't lie to me because I asked the boys." He swallowed the lump in his throat. Maybe there was a chance that he could get away with all of this.

"I was out with a friend,"

"A girl?" You questioned. Not angry that he was with someone else but angry that he felt the need to lie to you about it.

"Yes. She's just a friend." You got up and walked over to the cupboard. Pulling out an overnight bag and throwing it down onto the floor. If she was a friend then why did he have clothes packed up in a bag, looking as though he was planning to leave you?

"A friend you sleepover with at an undisclosed location?" You pulled the bag to show him everything that you had found inside of the bag.

"Y/n, it's not what it looks like." He stuttered out as you began to show him everything that was in the bag.

"So you just have spare underwear and clothes packed up for nothing?"

"It's not what you think it is, she's just a friend." He assured you trying to reach out to touch you but you backed away from him.

"If lies keep spewing from those lips then I am walking out of that door." You said coldly before kicking the bag towards him. Jimin sighed looking down at the bag and then up at you. It was time for him to come clean with you but there was no way you were going to believe him unless he showed you.

"Let me prove it...Let me show you where I've been doing, what I've been doing." You looked at him before nodding.

A quiet and agonizingly slow car ride later and you were standing at the house. The house you had grown up in.

"What are we doing here?" You questioned looking over at the house and then to Jimin who got out. The house was still falling apart except now there seemed to be a giant skip outside with rubbish inside of it.

"Follow me." He whispered not wanting to wake anyone else up on the street. It was almost 3 in the morning no one wanted to be woken up.

Following after him, you frowned as he walked into the house. Although the outside of the house was still falling apart the inside was all-new. The exposed walls were patched up, fresh paint all over the walls. Furniture in the place it had been in when you were younger. New flooring was put down to replace the burnt patches that had been left by squatters.

"I've been doing this...I wanted it to be a surprise for you but you saw me so I had to show you." He told you as he walked further into the house showing that everything was as you remembered it to be. A fireplace was put in place where your Grandmother used to sit and read you bedtime stories.

"I got everything from old images you'd shown me. Your brother gave me old photo albums so I could match everything." You were tearing up as you walked around the house. Everything looked to be exactly the same as your childhood home.

"The second floor isn't finished yet, Sooyoung and I were going to get started on it." The name of the girl he had been with, you turned to look at him.

"Sooyoung?"

"The girl you saw me with. She's Seojun's sister, she's a decorator." Your mouth formed an 'O' as you looked around at everything. Seojun had told you about his sister almost a million times but you'd never seen her before.

"Jimin this is perfect,"

"I wanted you to have everything you wanted...I know how much this place meant to you." Saying nothing you walked into his arms and hugged him tightly, kissing his chest. You couldn't believe you let your head run to the fact that he would cheat on you. Jimin would never hurt you and you knew that.

"I'm sorry I called you a liar."

"I'm sorry I hid it from you...I wanted it to be a surprise." He laughed weakly as he rubbed his hand up and down your back. Kissing the top of your head softly,

"I trust you Jimin. I really do...I was just scared. You'd been so busy and then mum said you could have whoever you wanted." He knew your mum would have something to do with the way you reacted so he shook his head. Promising you that everything was okay.

"I only want you." He whispered leaning down to kiss your lips softly. The start of the rest of your lives was going to happen in a house you had always dreamed of owning.

"This is our place?"

"It will be when we finish on the top floor. We have to way for a contractor to come out for that though." You smiled at him, kissing him once again. You were never going to get tired of kissing his perfect lips.

"Thank you Jimin, this is...This is the best surprise you could have ever given to me," He smiled down at you before bringing you into a real kiss, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing you deeper as you jumped up into his arms.

Tagline: @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @rjsmochii @taestannie @sw33tnight @sweeneyblue1 @jin-from-the-block @acciocriativity @mwitsmejk @taeechwitaa @justbangtanthingz @stillwithlix

#bts #bts x reader #bts imagine #bts x you #bts x y/n #bts imagines #park jimin #jimin #jimin x reader #jimin imagine #jimin x y/n #jimin x you #jimin imagines #park jimin x reader #park jimin x you #park jimin x y/n #park jimin imagine #park jimin imagines

202 notes · View notes

nebulousfishgills · 3 years

Text

In Reality

Request by @nosfera1 : hiiiii is your request open? i was wondering if i could ask for an angsty wanda x fem!r fic where they've been in a relationship for a year and r is absolutely head over heels with her. r planned their anniversary date and during that dinner wanda confesses that she's only been dating r to move on from her previous relationship the whole time and cant carry it in her conscience anymore? make it reaaally really heart wrenching as possible please. thank youuuuu

Ah, thank you so much for sending in your request!! (Yes, requests are open lol). I'm always excited to recieve a new request, especially for a character I have yet to write for!

I hope I get this the way you want! ❤

Warnings: Angst, feels, fluff (but like, fake?)

ฯฯฯ

"Wan, are you okay?" You asked, noticing your girlfriend looking a bit uncomfortable. Her hands were in her lap, her eyes staring at the table or the wall, and she seemed like she was zoning in and out. "Wanda?"

"What? Oh, yes, dear?" She asked, jerking up from looking at the muted paisley tablecloth.

"I was wondering if you were okay." You repeated.

"Yes, I'm alright, dear. Just a little tired is all." She said, showing her teeth in a smile that almost seemed forced. You chose to ignore it.

"I was going to say, but I didn't want to be rude." You said, chuckling.

"We've been together for a year, we can tell each other anything."

"I'm glad you feel that way."

The waiter brought your dishes not long after that, the thin veil of steam curling off the top of the Italian dishes you ordered. Your glasses were refilled and parmesan was grated on top of your meals.

You started nearly scarfing down your food, the wait having been a little too long without a breadstick refill. You watched Wanda gently cut through the meatballs on the top of her pasta, dividing them into quarters. The delicate movement entranced you for a moment, a bashful smile creeping onto your face.

To say you loved Wanda would be a severe understatement. The past year you had been together was the best year of your life. Before, you had been in a slump, everything seeming sad and dreary. You had been having a particularly bad day that day, as a matter of fact. You missed the bus in the morning, so you had to walk to work. Halfway through, it started raining buckets and you had no umbrella. You were lucky your boss was so understanding, else she would have reprimanded you for sure for being late. Still, the woman signed your paychecks; staying on her good side was in your best interest.

While pondering your latest excuse for being late to work again, it suddenly stopped raining.

No, someone was holding an umbrella over you.

That someone happened to be Wanda, offering her umbrella to you to shelter from the storm. You took one look at her and it was as if the color started to soak back into your previously grey world. Not only was this woman going out of her way to help you, she was beautiful as well.

Wanda held the umbrella over your head while you both walked to where you worked (she didn't mind in the slightest; she didn't have a set destination when she started walking). You told each other a few things about yourselves to pass the time. You were working at your current job until you could afford to move to a better part of the city. The apartment you lived in currently had a lot of small problems that would pop up every now and then that would take your savings. Your dishwasher had just broken and you needed to save up to get that replaced.

Wanda told you about things in her life, too. Her brother had died a few years ago in what she called a "tragic accident." Her last relationship had ended pretty suddenly more recently, so she took frequent walks to give herself something to do.

Suddenly your dishwashers woes seemed so nominal.

You arrived at the building you worked at and Wanda bid you goodbye. Though, not before passing you a small slip of paper with a few digits on it you recognized as a phone number. You went pink and walked into your office, sending a text to Wanda as soon as you sat down. You saw each other more frequently after that, going on your first date not long after.

And here Wanda was, sitting in front of you with her steaming pasta and quarter sliced meatballs. You ate your dinners in silence to start, the only noises between you two being the scratches of utensils on plates and quiet chewing.

After a few minutes, you noticed Wanda poking at her pasta with her fork. She hadn't eaten very much. Her chin rested on her other hand, the food on her plate starting to cool down.

"Wan, are you sure you're okay?" You asked. "You've barely eaten anything."

"I'm fine..." Wanda replied, letting out an exhale as if she were holding her breath. She put the fork down and rested her hand on the table.

"Wanda, it's okay. If something's bothering you, you can tell me." You said, resting your hand on top of hers. She took it, rolling your fingers in hers. She pulled her hand back and rested it in her lap, her other hand following suit. She took a breath.

"Y/N, can I tell you something?" She asked.

"Anything, Wan." You said. Wanda took in another breath and looked you in the eyes. That's how you knew she was getting dead serious with you.

"This isn't easy but... I can't keep holding it in. I can't do this anymore." She said.

"Can't do what?"

"This." She wagged her finger in between the two of you. Your breath hitched in your throat.

"What do you mean? You can't do--?" You asked, your voice cracking slightly.

"No, I can't." Wanda cut in. "Listen, Y/N, I'm telling you this now so I don't hurt you worse later on. I can't keep stringing you along."

"'Stringing me along?' Wanda, I don't understand. Don't you love me?"

"I... I... No. It's just..." Wanda bit her lip and averted her gaze from you.

"Just what? Something I did? What did I do, Wanda?"

"Nothing! You did nothing! It's not you, Y/N, it's just..."

"Wanda, are you joking? One year, Wanda! This is our one year anniversary and you're telling me this now??" You asked, the tears streaming down your face through your anger.

"I know, it's not ideal, but I couldn't find time to tell you before!"

"Couldn't? Or wouldn't? You're telling me you lied to me for a year, Wanda. Why?"

"Because I needed a distraction, okay? My last relationship ended badly and I was having a hard time getting over it. I thought you would... provide support until I could get back on my feet." Wanda admitted. Your face got hotter as the realization sunk in. Your voice got low as you continued speaking.

"You used me? You dated me to get over someone else? Is that all I was to you? Just a distraction? A plaything?" You growled.

"Y/N, you don't understand--"

"Oh, no, I understand plenty, Wanda." You stood up from your seat, throwing on your jacket and grabbing your handbag. You looked at the half empty water glass at your seat and picked it up. You examined the water inside for a moment, looking at Wanda over the rim. "I'd throw the water in your face right about now, but unlike you, I have standards on how people should be treated. Like a person with feelings and not something you use to play pretend with."

You downed the rest of the water and put the glass back on the table.

"Y/N--" Wanda said weakly, but you cut her off with a pinch of your fingers.

"Not another word, Wanda." You snapped, before turning around to walk away. "Don't even try to call me."

You burst out of the restaurant and sat down on one of the stone benches out front. You sent a quick text to your friend asking for a ride home, sending the address. Wanda had driven you here.

"What happened to your date?" Your friend asked.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Alright. I'm on my way."

You shut off your phone and stared up at the sky. Not a moment later, thunder rumbled above you and it started to rain.

You had no umbrella to cover you.

Finally, you allowed yourself to cry, your tears mixing with the rainwater that dripped onto your face. You let everything out, all the anger and sorrow until your throat went raw.

The headlights of your friend's car pierced through the wall of rain. You stood up and ran over, climbing inside of the heated car. You let out a sigh and leaned back against the seat.

"You okay?" Your friend asked. You didn't reply, just turned to look out the window, the raindrops gliding down it. As the car started pulling away, someone ran outside of the restaurant, screaming your name.

Wanda.

You looked at her as your friend pulled out of the parking lot. Wanda caught sight of you inside the car, watching you leave. You just stared back at her coldly as your friend whisked you away back home.

As soon as you got back to your apartment, you blocked Wanda's number and collapsed onto your sofa. Tears leaked down your face as you fell asleep.

ฯฯฯ

Hope you enjoyed this, nosfera!

As always, requests are open, so send them in!

#marvel #movies #avengers #wanda maximov #wanda marvel #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximov x reader #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x fem!reader #female reader #wanda x fem!reader #fishgills writing #writing request #my inbox is open

164 notes · View notes

joyfulhopelox · 3 years

Text

Strawberries & Cigarettes

Pairing: Jungkook x reader (Soulmate!AU)

Genre: angst, fluff

Warnings: mentions of sex (once), swear words, talks about death of minor character, mentions of smoking (don't do it kids)

Summary: As a child you detested strawberries, convincing yourself that you have an allergy to them. But imagine your shock when you grow up and realise that your soulmate connection has to do with the wretched berry.

Word count: 7.7k

rating : pg

A/N: This is square 4/25 for the @bangtanwritingbingo (Square: Strawberries) I have not written something remotely angsty in a while so this has been a challenge but i did it! And i am somewhat proud of it! Thank you @mochi-molala @sunshinejunghoseokie for listening to me complain about this it has been a journey. And most importantly, thank you @min-yoon-kween for being a beta queen and trying to read through this mess and managing to make 3am rambles onto words. I really appreciated all the support and tough love! @yoonjinkooked, @sunshinekims and @yoonia thank you for being there and listening to my 3am complaints whilst i was getting this done, your encouragement has been a massive help!

Copyrights @joyfulhopelox for both the work and the banner

As always please leave feedback and/or talk to me as i love to hear from you! Enjoy <3

The sweet, fragrant, slightly tart taste invades your senses once again causing you to sigh in frustration. How are you meant to find your soulmate if this unknown taste is all you have to go by? You couldn’t even pinpoint what it could be, the flavour being unlike anything that has ever touched your tastebuds.

“For real now Y/N, what do you have against fruit?” Your friend, Taehyung, inquires. You’ve adamantly refused his offer to share a fruit snack. It’s not like you had anything against fruit, far from it. You loved fruit. It was just the wretched strawberries lying there innocently on the bed of other berries, tainting them.

“It’s not fruit! I love fruit, you know that! Remember that time we snuck out into your grandfather's garden to steal apricots?” Your friend snorts. He remembers that time extremely well. You ate way more than you should have and ended up with indigestion for days after that.

“It’s just…” you grimace, looking once more at the red offenders. “Those”

“Strawberries?!” It was Taehyung’s turn to grimace. “How can you still hate strawberries after all this time? They are the best berry out there!” As if to prove his point he reaches for one and pops it in his mouth. You look away in disgust. “Oh come on Y/N, give them a try. You never know, you may like them now.” He pushed one towards you. Glaring at him, you rejected his offer.

“Tae, you know I can't! It’s not that I don't like them, I am allergic to them!” He responded with an incredulous look but didn’t say anything. Reading too much into his look you go to defend yourself. “I am! Since I was a child!”

“How do you know?” He raised an eyebrow at you. Shrugging, you tried to find a good answer.

Truth is, you didn’t know whether or not you were allergic to them. All you had was a bad memory from when you were a child. You had a very bad encounter with said berries. It was not a near death experience by any means, and it was not an allergic reaction. You were just a child, excited at the thought of trying a new fruit and so in your exhilaration you shoved it a bit too readily in your mouth. The innocent berry happened to go down the wrong pipe and causing you to choke and your family to panic. Ever since then you had sworn to never touch them again, telling everyone around you that you were allergic. That way you didn’t have to face the shame of retelling this childhood story and they couldn’t try forcing you to eat them.

It happened so long ago that you couldn’t even remember the taste. You couldn’t understand why everyone around you seemed to find them so delicious.

“I- just do ok? I had a bad reaction to them a long time ago, and I don’t want a repeat experience” you shrugged hoping that he would not catch onto the white lie you had just blatantly presented to his face. Side eyeing you suspiciously, Taehyung made sure to eat the strawberry he had picked up, sighing in the most dramatic way possible.

“Well then, more for me” his mouth was so full you could barely understand him. Disgusted you pushed his shoulder playfully. “Ew, that is bad manners. Did your mother not teach you to chew with your mouth closed?”

Taehyung pretended to look thoughtful whilst still chewing. “Nope, now take a blueberry and shut up” he pushed the assortment of fruit your way once again, this time making sure that the strawberries were out of your sight.

“Thanks Tae” you smiled gratefully at him, picking a blueberry out. Before it could reach your mouth, a loud thump resounded from next to you making you jump. Surprised your fingers let go of the blueberry you were holding so preciously.

“Oh man, don’t waste food!” a voice you recognised all too well spoke, whilst a hand made its way past your face and into the bowl of fruit Taehyung had so carefully prepared for the two of you. Long slender fingers wrapped themselves around the green stem of a strawberry. You followed the movement of the hand holding the strawberry to come face to face with the culprit.

“Hello to you too, Jungkook” Taehyung sighs, his smile instantly dropping. “What brings you here?” His deadpan expression was a good indication of how happy he was to see him.

“Uh, it’s lunchtime?” Jungkook looked at Taehyung as if he had grown a second head. “Is this not where we are supposed to eat lunch?” disposing of the green stem of the strawberry, he pops it in his mouth. You wanted to grimace, you had enough of Taehyung making a scene whilst eating that damned fruit. Now you are forced to witness the office heartthrob lick his fingers clean of the fruit juice that coated them. Simultaneously expelling a moan so sinful it was definitely not appropriate for office hours. You doubted it was healthy for your heart.

“Yes, but you guys in the graphics team have a separate kitchen. You know, the one you took from us last year? The big fancy one?” Taehyung was still bitter about that incident. It had been his favourite break room to spend time in. The room was spacious and had more than just a few tables scattered here and there, divided by a couple of couches where employees could lounge during their break. There was also a terrace with a lot more space and a pool table. Most importantly,Taehyung’s pride and joy, a gaming room. He would get lost in there during his break, and sometimes even after work until you would come and retrieve him worried for his health.

That is where he met Jungkook, and that is where he ruined your life by introducing you to said office heartthrob. At the time your department and his rarely interacted outside of company meetings. You were working as a business analyst and he was working as a graphics developer. Your jobs could not have been more different from each other.

Truth be told, you had seen Jungkook around the building on more than one occasion. You had the chance to speak once at a company gala in a drunken haze, where you realised you had a lot of interests in common. But you only got to know him the second time you bumped into him, when Taehyung decided to introduce you two. His handshake and shy presentation told you he was too drunk to remember talking to you that night so you did not mention it either.

Once you’ve been introduced, his presence turned into one of the ones you sought out during lunch breaks, you became more aware of the rumours flying around the company. Out of all of them the ones you heard the most were about him and his love for “dining and dashing” all the women he had taken out on a date.

Normally, you wouldn’t be the person to listen to such rumours and allow them to sway your opinion of someone. But you had witnessed on one occasion how he had indeed left a woman in the middle of a restaurant and fled the scene. After that you wondered if maybe you should be more weary of him and his bad habits.

Talking to him in person was a completely different story. He seemed incredibly shy at the beginning, it took him a couple of weeks to be able to look you in the eyes. Taehyung would laugh and say it is because he had a crush on you but you doubted that. How could you believe that? Not when you lived in a world where lovers were predestined. You were born with a bond that tied you to someone else, a bond that's unbreakable. Your soulmate was made for you and only you. You could have other lovers until you found your true one, you have seen it happen on multiple occasions but once you found your soulmate and that bond was complete you couldn’t be apart from them.

Soulmates, a subject that ruined your life as soon as you became aware of it. At the age of ten you found out that all humans on this planet have a person they are meant to be with forever. A person that is yours, and only yours. At such a young age you fell in love with the concept. Fairies and princesses in the stories your parents would read you before bed, they all had their one true love. When you found out that you were meant to have one true love, a soulmate, you were beyond ecstatic. For years after, it was all you talked about and all you dreamt about. It all came crashing down when one rainy night your father had a car accident on his way home from work. The crash took a parental figure away from you. Aside from having had to deal with the pain of losing your hero, you also went through the misery of witnessing the painful heartbreak that comes with having a soulmate.

Your mother mourned for days, she could not eat or sleep, she withered right in front of your eyes. It was heartbreaking to experience your only remaining parent destroying themselves right before your eyes. You were only sixteen at the time and could not do anything to help alleviate the pain she was going through. So you helplessly stood at her side for another three years until one day, her soul finally gave up.

Her funeral was a relief for you, it meant she didn’t have to struggle anymore. The pain was gone. So, at the age of nineteen, you became an orphan.

Turning twenty and a struggling pen pusher, you met Taehyung in a cafe. You crashed into him soaking his expensive suit in coffee as you rushed out the door, late for work. Apologising profusely and promising to pay for his dry cleaning you gave him your number. That was the first time you had hit a stroke of good luck in years. Later that day, when a text came through from an unknown number you expected it to be an extortionate dry cleaning bill. Instead all that was written was: ‘Coffee’s on me next time (not literally though) haha.’ You couldn’t help but laugh, he gave you a place and time and signed it with Taehyung. That had been the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

For the first few years of your friendship you’d wondered if he was your soulmate; and so, despite your aversion to the concept, you two started dating. It was difficult not to like him, he was good looking and you two seemed to have a lot in common. It didn’t help that the sex was also great, you had to admit he knew what he was doing. But after one too many nights of netflix and takeaways at his apartment, which ended in his bed, you both decided that you were not the one for each other. So, two years into your relationship you separated. Fortunately, the friendship you two forged remained, your bond stronger than before. At the age of twenty three, you moved in together as housemates. It was the most logical thing to do, you were attached at the hip anyway and rent was too expensive for a single person to bear. Twenty four came and went, stressed and always low on money, when luck struck you for a second time the day Taehyung told you a position had opened in his team. You decided to apply and rejoiced when you got the job offer. That night you and Taehyung celebrated with pizza and champagne.

Here you are three years later having worked in the same company, being promoted from a trainee to a junior business analyst, and life couldn’t have been better.

There was one thing that bothered you, and that was the strange taste in your mouth that you had begun to notice. At first it was so faint that you didn’t notice it. As time passed, it got stronger and stronger, until you could not ignore the slight tangy, sweet taste that lingered on the tip of your tongue. It wasn’t a bad taste, in fact you quite liked it. You were just annoyed at the fact that you could not place it. You tried multiple foods which you thought may have a similar taste but none of them satisfied that craving. You hid this information from Taehyung for a while, not wanting to make a big fuss out of it until the day he found you rummaging through the fridge mumbling to yourself.

“What are you doing Y/N?” he stood in the doorway confused as to why your head was buried deep into the fridge. You jumped not having heard him move into the kitchen and looked at him in surprise. The sight that greeted him was something he was not expecting. The hilarity of your wide eyed expression paired with the cheeks stuffed full of cherries made him double over in laughter.

Mumbling something akin to “stop laughing at me, i had a craving” you stood up and walked to the table dejectedly plopping yourself down on a chair. Taehyung sobered immediately noticing the forlorn expression on your face and whilst still wiping the tears from his eyes he approached you and sat down. “What’s up chipmunk?” he could not resist making a jab at you. Sighing you started picking at a stray thread off your sleeve. You decided it was time to tell him what has been bothering you for months, despite fearing his judgement.

“Have you ever had cravings?” you turn to look at him, your expression so innocent that he could not make fun of you for such a trivial question. “Of course I have! All the damn time” he scoffed at you.

“No, no what I mean is; have you ever had a taste at the tip of your tongue, on your lips something that isn’t what you have eaten that day, but it is there continuously lingering in your mouth?” the more you were explaining this out loud the stupider you felt. Your own words were confusing even to you. But it seemed like Taehyung knew what you meant because in an instant he jumped up from his seat and looked at you wide eyed.

“Y/N!” the grin on his face intensified. “Do you know what this means?” he grabbed your shoulders in excitement. “It means that you have found your soulmate!” your eyes widened in fear, your body stiffened under his hold. Realising what he’d said, and how you felt about soulmates he backtracked quickly. “Nonono, it means you are close to finding your soulmate. It means you have met them at last!” When your frozen body refused to move he realised that maybe that was not the best way to phrase it either. But the damage has already been done. Wide eyed, you flew off the chair and rushed out of the kitchen towards your own room, slamming the door in the process.

You called in sick the next day, and the day after, not leaving your room until you were certain Taehyung had left for work. He tried on multiple occasions to coax you out of your room, but to no avail. You stubbornly refused to acknowledge him. Mulling over your thoughts in the comfort of your room, conflicted at the realisation that he was right. You had met your soulmate, just not completed the bond yet.

“Y/N, are you ok?” the worry in his voice broke your heart, but you were too absorbed in your own thoughts to respond to him.

Memories of your parents, together and apart, thoughts of your mother and her suffering, memories of you together as a happy family all swirling around in your head. It was all too much to bear, and in the end your brain gave up exhausted, only to wake up the next day and start all over again. For a week you stayed in your room, but when Taehyung decided that enough was enough he formulated a plan in his head hoping it would get you out of your room. If you refused to come out for him, he would have to resort to other methods. He would invite people over, he knew you would not be able to resist the temptation of being a good host. So that day he called your colleague and his friend, Jungkook.

Later on that night, you laid in bed, thoughts ruminating through your head at a fast pace when you heard voices from the entrance. You could easily recognise Taehyung’s voice, the low timbre echoing through the house. It was the second voice that you could not pinpoint, and so, intrigued you got off the bed.

Your joints ached, having sat in the same position for so long and your head hurt from exhaustion. You knew you probably looked like a mess but curiosity was eating at your insides. So you took the chance and opened the door slightly trying to peek into the corridor. Unfortunately, your room was the first along the corridor, right around the corner from the kitchen. The kitchen where Taehyung and his mysterious companion were now exiting from. Your delayed reaction ended up with them coming around the corner almost bumping into you. Gasping, your eyes took in the unknown person whose voice drew you out of your miserable state.

“Jungkook '' you yelped. Startled at the intrusion, you slammed the door in their faces, your back now leaning against the door. You didn’t ponder too much on Jungkook’s shocked expression or Taehyung’s pleased one. Your heart was pounding, and for a second the blood rush from the adrenaline made your ears ring and your lips tingle. You were so focused on your embarrassment that you didn’t even notice the lingering sweet taste residing on your tongue.

Sliding against the door to keep yourself from falling you tried to regulate your heartbeat by taking a few deep breaths in. After a few moments, your eyes opened and took in the darkness of your room. Deciding that you were calm enough you got up, your legs slightly wobbly from crouching for so long. Turning on the light you looked at yourself in the mirror. Your hair was in disarray, your skin looked dull and the red that rimmed your eyes accentuated the eyebags under them. Grimacing at your appearance, you patted your hair trying to make it look more presentable only to give up after a few minutes. Throwing another worried glance at your door, as if you were expecting the boys to barge in at any moment, you contemplated going out there. You sighed deciding that you didn’t care if Jungkook would think you were impolite, you were not ready to face the world.

For the next couple of hours you tried to distract yourself from your thoughts accompanied by the loud hollers coming from the living room where the boys were playing video games. Too absorbed in your own thoughts you didn’t realise how late it had gotten, the rumbling of your stomach waking you up from your trance.

Opening the door you listened intently but there were no sounds coming from the living room. You assumed the boys had finally fallen asleep do as quietly as you could you tiptoed to the kitchen. The corridor was dark, the only light coming from the TV in the living room where you assumed the boys had passed out. Turning on the light in the kitchen you contemplated stealing Taehyung’s last pack of ramen when a voice from behind startled you.

“What are you doing?” you yelped, not having expected to have company.

Jungkook stood in the middle of the doorway, his eyes bleary with sleep, his hair poofed up and judging by the groggy voice, still half asleep. You tried to ignore the way your heart somersaulted at the sight of his messy hair, the way his hooded eyes were blinking sleepily at you and the way his small yawn made him resemble a rabbit. He was adorable and for a second you entertained the thought of telling him that.

“Food” was all you finally replied, secretly trying to fix your messy appearance. Jungkook hummed in acknowledgment. You looked away trying to ignore his eyes on you. The silence that followed was awkward, neither of you knew what to say. “Uh, I don’t know if that rascal fed you but uh….would you like some ramen?” you stuttered trying to break the awkwardness. His stomach growled as if prepared for your question. You stared at him in shock for a couple of seconds before you burst into laughter.

Jungkook smiled at you bashfully, too embarrassed to respond so you took it upon yourself and pulled another chair out for him to sit in.

The silence that ensued was comforting, neither you nor Jungkook feeling the need to interrupt it with small talk. You observed amusedly the way his eyes seemed to lighten up at the sight of food, the way the corner of them would crinkle in excitement and the small satisfied sounds at the food gracing his taste buds was something you found adorable.

The feeling of contentment that enveloped you was entirely new. As the calmness washed over you, you realised it felt like coming home. Not knowing what to make of it you continued to stare at Jungkook, hoping that the answers were hidden somewhere in his smile. Catching you stare at him mid bite Jungkook stopped and tilted his head in confusion.

“Is there something on my face?” realising you were staring at him for a bit too long you squeaked in embarrassment.

“Ah, no no no I was just lost in thought.” Hoping he would buy that excuse, you offered him a bright smile.

Jungkook had known you were staring at him, and for a brief second, along with the spiciness of the noodles burning his tongue, he felt something smoky intertwine. He wondered if it was the food, but the taste was too distinct. In an instant he could place it, the taste of cigarettes. It was faint but he recognised instantly that ashy fragrance. He wondered if his soulmate was a smoker and if so why would the taste bother him now?

He found out about the soulmate connection years ago and how he was meant to figure out which person was meant for him. Meeting your soulmate was supposed to trigger a taste that was only attributed to them. His trigger happened a few years ago when he started working for the company. To say he was excited was an understatement. He has dreamt of meeting his soulmate for so long and to know that they were in proximity was exhilarating.

In his naive search for them he decided to accept all the requests he has gotten from his colleagues to go on dates. Unfortunately for him, he realised too late that it was not the way to find the one that was meant to be for you. Just like the concept of a soulmate, if it was meant to happen, it would happen. He realised too late and after too many failed dates that he could not rush the process. So he stopped trying. Until that one day when he saw you on the roof of the building, during lunch time. You had no idea that you were not alone, had you been aware of that fact you may have not gotten out your pack of cigarettes. Jungkook could tell by the way your foot tapped the ground impatiently and the way your hands kept grabbing at your hair that you were stressed. He sat in silence not wanting to disturb you as you seemed to be hyping yourself up about something. You didn’t interact that day, but in his head he knew he had found you. The taste of cigarettes on his lips was as strong as the smell wafting through the air.

Normally he would not have been happy about someone who smoked in his vicinity, the harsh smell causing his nose to tingle in an unpleasant fashion. Watching you stress smoke that cigarette with the knowledge that you were his soulmate he found himself unbothered by that knowledge. He knew who you were, your mutual friend being Taehyung. He had introduced you two as soon as you started working for the company.

He will always remember that specific moment, the time when you smiled shyly at him extending your hand. He felt an unusual warmth all throughout his body, but he didn’t realise at the time it was your soulmate bond tying itself together like the ends of two loose strings.

He tried with all his might to figure out whether or not you had the faintest idea about your soulmate connection and for a few months he would insist on taking his break on the floor below just so he could spend time with you. Your lack of interest towards him and his advances told him that you were oblivious. You weren’t treating him differently than you would treat Taehyung and for a while he questioned himself. What if he had been wrong? Instead of keeping up appearances, he let himself slip into the friend's mould. If he had been wrong then it would spare him the embarrassment, if he hadn’t been wrong then it would do him no harm to be friends first.

The memories still fresh in his mind he knew now that you were his soulmate. Still a bit tipsy from the wine he had shared with Taehyung earlier he plucked up the courage and jokingly asked, “Is it because I am handsome?” The shocked look on your face and the silence that ensued were far from comfortable. Slowly Jungkook could feel the heat of the blood rushing to his face and he tried his best to hide his embarrassment with a cough. “I mean-“

At the sight of his wide eyes and red cheeks you started chuckling, not being able to hold your composure for any longer. “It was bad, but you’re adorable.” This time your face turned beet red. You both looked at each other like deer caught into headlights for a few moments, only to dissolve into laughter once again.

That night you talked to Jungkook as if he was an old friend. It felt comfortable to share stories with him, to laugh and to make jokes. It felt good to be out of your head for once. The worries that had plagued your mind completely dissolved in between the laughter and the wine that you were sharing.

At some point during the night you both moved into the corridor in front of your room, both sat on the floor, your back leaning against the wall. Passing the wine bottle in between the two of you the conversation carried on into the darkness of the corridor. The only available source of light coming from the kitchen dimly lighting both of your faces, casting shadows across the floor. You didn’t know when you got so close to him, your skin prickling at the heat emanating from his body. Or when your head dropped onto his broad shoulder, your eyes fluttering, heavy with sleep.

“Y/N” Jungkook whispered and you hummed in response. The familiarity of the scene made him smile. You looked adorable, cuddled into his side, your eyes laden with sleep.

“What if I were to tell you I found my soulmate?” His voice was fearful but his heart was hopeful.

Wide awake now, your head snapped up. “What?”

Even though it was meant to be a whisper your voice reverberated through the corridor. Gasping you stopped to listen for any signs of Taehyung waking up. When the corridor stayed silent you breathed a sigh of relief and cleared your throat. “What?” you looked alarmed at Jungkook.

“Is it that bad? That I found my soulmate?” he looked wounded and you quickly tried to clarify. “Nonono, definitely not bad, just...i am surprised” you looked hesitant. You didn’t know what to make of that information, on one hand you wanted to be happy for him. Not everyone thought like you about the soulmate bond. On the other hand you couldn’t fathom the idea that he may have found his intended love in life. The pain blossomed in your chest and you readily assumed the reason behind that being your aversion towards the concept.

“But what if….” Jungkook stopped. He looked unsure of himself and something pulled at your heartstrings. In an attempt to comfort him you placed your hand on his grasping it gently.

“What if, the soulmate doesn’t want me” he tried again, his voice meek. You gave him a sympathetic look, in a way you could relate to his worries. “There is no way your soulmate wouldn’t want you” you tried to ease his worries, your hand subconsciously tightening its grip on his. Jungkook didn’t respond looking lost in thought and for a moment you thought you had said the wrong thing when you felt his fingers intertwined with yours. The feel of his warmth combined with the softness of his hands cause butterflies to erupt in your stomach. The feeling so foreign to you, but not unwelcome.

“But what if I said my soulmate was you?” he tried again, his grip tightening, as if he was afraid you might slip through his fingers. Your heart stopped, your mind trying to catch up with his words. Taking the risk, Jungkook slowly cupped your face. Leaning towards you until your lips were only one whisper away he stopped. His warm breath fanning over your face, it smelt sweet, tangy. Before you could process your thoughts bumped his lips onto yours in a timid touch. Once, twice, three times, his lips ghosted over yours.

You could not react, the surprise from his confession still wrecking havoc through your body. Your eyes fluttered closed as you felt his soft lips touch yours with a bit more conviction. You almost allowed yourself to melt into the kiss a small moan leaving the back of your throat. He tasted sweet, just like...you could not place the taste, and yet it seemed so familiar.

You jolted out of the trance pulling away from him entirely, almost sliding yourself on the opposite side of the corridor. Like a deer in headlights you observed his every move, ready to flee the scene if he got too close to you. “Y/N”, Jungkook tried to reach a hand towards you. You flinched away from him and he halted. You looked scared of him. He could feel his heart break in two at the sight of your distress.

“Y/N” he tried again but you would not have it. You were unable to listen to any reasoning, your fight or flight reaction at an all time high. “Please go” you managed to utter.

When he tried to approach you again you let out a sob, the emotions of your revelations catching up with you. “Please” you pleaded, looking at him in despair. Jungkook’s heart dropped. The look on your face told him you wanted him gone, and as much as it hurt him he would listen to you.

Giving you one last pained look he turned around on his heels and walked down the corridor, swallowed by the darkness of the apartment. When with a click of the front door you knew he was gone, and you broke down in tears.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” Taehyung, fully awake, having heard the front door close and your sobs echoing through the apartment, rushed to your side.

“I fucked up” was the only thing you could mutter over and over again. Taehyung was confused. Looking around him trying to find something that may indicate the reason for your cries, he spotted the wine bottle by your leg. Alarmed, he picked it up. “Fresh notes of strawberries”....

“Y/N are you daft? This has strawberries in it!” he tried to pry your hands away from your face to check for any signs of swelling. Your incessant cries lessened at that. Taehyung could barely discern what you were saying and so instead, he hugged you tightly to his chest letting you cry it out.

“I think I know the taste that has been bugging me” a couple of days after that night, you were in the break room with Taehyung prepared to have your lunch break. You had been successful at avoiding Jungkook, and you had a strong suspicion that he had stayed out of your way on purpose. That lessened your worries, you didn’t know if you would be able to confront him about what had transpired between the two of you.

“Really? What, when and how?” you could tell Taehyung was trying to hide his excitement underneath his grin. You refused to give him more information on the subject, not yet ready to talk about it. But if you underestimated something, it was his ability to put two and two together. “Is it Jungkook?” you stopped dead in your tracks, your heartbeat picking up the pace. At your reaction Taehyung almost grinned, he was happy his two friends had discovered each other. His grin faltered at something behind you.

You tried denying it, telling him he was mistaken. but with the sweet taste of strawberries lingering on your lips, even you knew that there was no mistake.

“Uhh, Y/N, I have to rush, I forgot that I needed to send some documents over” he quickly got up and rushed out of the room. Your bewildered eyes followed his retreat only to come across the man that had just entered the break room. You gasped at the sight of his athletic frame dressed in the dark coloured suit he normally wore for work. He looked handsome.

“Jungkook” you acknowledged him with a nod. He stood there looking at you for a moment, a strange look on his face as if he was prepared to say something but then changed his mind at the last minute. Instead he mirrored your nod and headed towards the coffee machine.

He passed by you in an attempt to reach for the pods that were on the table behind you. To get to them he had to step around your still body. You could not move, still in a daze, your lips tingling from the kiss you two have shared earlier. Your hands were trembling and you tried your hardest to stay calm and not give away the mixed feelings raging through your body. You cleared your throat and looked away in an attempt to hide your blushing face from him. Jungkook took you in silently, he didn’t know what to make of your reaction. Earlier when he had kissed you, your lips moulding together, you pressed tightly against his form, hands raking through his hair. You seemed to be reciprocating the feeling but now, when you were acting like a deer caught in headlights, he was not so sure of himself anymore.

Cautiously he approached you, his gaze unfaltering, he was afraid that if he stepped over the line you would run away from him again. He didn’t know if his heart could take it.

He couldn’t imagine that if you’d figured it out you’d react to him like this. He was waiting for you to realise it was him. However, the blank look on your face and your stiff posture told him otherwise. The soulmate connection urged him to take you in his arms and take the pain away, to make it better. But you didn’t know yet it was him, and he debated whether or not he should tell you. His heart lurched in pain, he didn’t know how to approach the issue. Knowing himself he’d make a stupid comment which would drive you further away. So he settled for actions rather than words.

It felt like an eternity until he reached you, toe to toe, his hand hesitantly cupped your face. You couldn’t move, your breath coming into short pants, your heart flipping inside your chest. For a second you feared you would faint, but the warm touch of his hand kept you grounded and so you focused on that. Closing your eyes you leaned your head onto his hand soaking up the comfort. Even though you were apprehensive about Jungkook and your connection, he has been nothing but kind and understanding to you. His awkward demeanour paired with his confident looks, an endearing combination in your eyes. After that night you two spent together in the corridor of your apartment you understood very well why most women in your company fell in love with him. What you didn’t understand though, was why he would break their hearts like that. Thinking about the rumours once again your eyes snapped open and you pushed his hand away.

“Jungkook,” you cleared your throat. You needed to get your feelings off your chest otherwise you would implode. You wanted to make sure you were both on the same page. You didn’t want to end up heartbroken like any of the other women in the office. Your stomach lurched at that, the thought of him rejecting you like he did those women sending shooting pains through your whole body.

Jungkook’s hands stayed a few centimeters away from your face, his face morphing into anguish. But as soon as it appeared, it was instantly gone, replaced by a smile, the same heartfelt smile he gave you the day you met. The day you had signed your fate. The day the taste of what you could place now as strawberries had invaded your tastebuds. He waited for you to say something, he was not going to push you, but his gentle eyes told you he was going to listen to whatever you decided to tell him. Taking a deep breath in you decided to continue.

“I- am not sure how to put this into words, so I am going to just come out with it.” tears pooled into your eyes at the thought of what you were going to say. He nodded but you could tell he was anxious by the way his hand helplessly dropped to his side and started fiddling with his pants. You blinked the tears away but they just kept coming leaving a hot trail down your face. The pain of losing your parents resurfacing at the memories flooding your head.

“My parents, they uh, died” you stumbled over your words, finding it very difficult to get a grasp over your emotions. You took Jungkook’s silence as a sign to carry on, “my dad passed away in a car accident, after that, my mother she uh” a sob wrecked through your body and you couldn’t carry on. Watching as your whole body broke down in front of him Jungkook decided to throw caution out the window and steadily wrapped his arms around you. In an instant you relaxed, the warmth and the comfort provided by your soulmate embracing you calmed you down enough for you to carry on with your story.

“My mother, she died heartbroken three years after my father” you sniffled embarrassed at the snot you could see on his shirt. Trying to pull yourself away from him you found yourself nose to chest with him as he tightened his grip on you. You didn’t have the strength to fight against his hold.

“Jungkook,” you pleaded, slumping against him, your forehead resting on his warm chest. In that position you could hear his heartbeat, the strong thump reverberating through you. The knowledge that you were about to break that rhythm pained you. “I don’t want to have a soulmate.” A fresh wave of tears soaked through his shirt. Jungkook felt as if your sobs had not only penetrated the material but also his heart, the coldness that gripped him rendering him speechless.

Despite the unbearable ache that your words have caused him, he remembered that you were also suffering. He decided that his pain was irrelevant to yours, the soulmate bond that forged between the two of you pushing him to alleviate your sorrow and forget about his own.

“Y/N” his voice sounded foreign to him, the anguish seeping through. He cleared his throat and tightened his grip on you, trapping your arms in between the two of you. You knew you were being selfish, your hard words chipping away at his heart. Despite that he was being patient and understanding, lending you the last of his strength. “Don’t, please” was his last attempt at asking you not to crush him. A plea followed by a soft kiss on the top of your head, his own tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.

His words pierced through you, a heavy feeling settling in your chest. It felt as if someone had placed a weighted lead over your heart. Your mind was fighting against the soul’s desire to mould together as one, to form that bond fully. But by doing so, you were fighting against the laws of the soulmate connection, the broken promise of being together forever caused you to feel agony like never before. Desperate, you managed to free your hands and wrap them around him, your fingers digging into the muscles of his back in an attempt to steady yourself. You let the pain course through you, letting Jungkook’s soft cries in your hair be a reminder of your self-serving fears. His breath was hot on the crown of your hair, his breath coming out in broken gasps and you finally understood.

This is what your mother had experienced. This is the pain she must have gone through when your father was gone. Only, you were voluntarily putting yourself and him through it.

You felt despicable, but most importantly, you were terrified. Thoughts running through your head, scenarios in which you and him were bonded and living a happy life, only for it to be swept from under you. You didn’t think you could bear that, but you knew that what you were doing now was not right either. There was no such thing as a bandaid when it came to a soulmate bond. You would suffer forever and it never got easier.

“Y/N, please talk to me.” Jungkook’s voice wavered but his tears had stopped. He was doing his best to stay strong for you. Burying your head into his inviting shoulder you inhaled his scent, it was something sweet. Sweet like that night when you kissed, that significant night when you realised he was yours and you were his. Trying to recall the happiness that you felt when you two kissed you whispered, “I’m afraid.”

Jungkook had never felt more helpless. Hearing you admit this felt even more painful than you rejecting the soulmate bond. He could do very little to alleviate your worries, he couldn’t promise you forever because he himself had no power over the future, but he could promise you that he would try his best to be there until it wasn’t possible anymore.

“I can’t promise you that we will last forever, but I can promise you that as long as we are alive and have a forever to fight for I will do my best to reach it” his soft words brushed through your hair, the hand on your back tightening its hold. Fresh tears spilled from your eyes, the hot trail competing with the warmth that was growing in your chest. His words were not enough to alleviate your worries, but they were enough to pacify the inner battle between your soul and your heart.

“Hey,” he gently grabbed your shoulders, breaking your hold on him. With some distance now in between the two of you, it was easier to look at him. Your heart broke at the sight of the tears silently running down his face, a contrast to the small reassuring smile he was offering you. If not for the pain in his eyes you would have thought he was crying for you only. However, his eyes spoke of agony for two. The relationship that was meant to be, the relationship that your souls craved and you had power over. The understanding encouragement he was offering told you that he would take whatever you decided. If your decision was to not pursue this, he would accept it and never question it. With this in mind you took a deep breath in, your hands hesitantly reaching out and wiping away at the trail of tears.

“I am afraid” you stopped glancing away from him for a split second. Jungkook’s breath caught in his throat anticipating your next words. You had the power to make him or break him, his heart in your hands. With your next exhale, you let all your worries out, your stance visibly relaxing.

“But I am not afraid to fight for a future forever, with you.”

Main Masterlist

#jeon jungkook fluff #bangtansummerbingo #jeon jungkook fic #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #bangtanarmynet #bangtaninn #btshoneyhive #btsgoldnet #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x reader #jungkook fic #soulmate #soulmate au #angst #fic #junkook #bts fic #fiction

284 notes · View notes

dorotharry · 3 years

Text

tiny dancer ; prologue

Pairing: 40s!bucky barnes x fem!reader

Next Chapter

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: kinda long for a prologue, fluff, not really much but please let me know if anything in this upsets you.

Summary: After being drafted for the war in 1942, Bucky goes to the ballet a week before having to leave with his best friend Steve. There he becomes infatuated you with the prima ballerina of the show, and he just has to meet you before his last week in Brooklyn is up. He hopes one day you would meet again; little does it know it will be 72 years later.

A/N: This is my first Bucky fic, I thought of it last night and I was kind of excited to write it. Sorry if any of the information is wrong as well my knowledge of Ballet and Brooklyn/NY are limited. I’m not sure if there are any similar story types but feel is so please let me know and I’ll tag them for people to read in the next chapter. I hope you enjoy :) Feel free to let me know if you want to be tagged in the next chapter.

Before everything - 1942

“Oh, come on Steve, come to the Ballet with me!” Bucky spoke enthusiastically, his arms pressed again the frame of Steve’s front door. “It’s my last week before I go.”

“And you couldn’t have just chose to go to a bar like any other normal man would a week before going to the war?” Steve responded looking sceptically at his best friend. Someone who he had never known to be interested in ballet.

“Because going to a bar filled with soldiers would be a bright choice for you,” sighed Bucky, “I’d rather not have to get into another fight…” Steve rolled his eyes and pursed his lips waiting for Bucky to continue. “Everyone in New York is talking about the Ballet! Don’t you want to feel cultured?” Bucky exclaimed moving away from the door frame. “Plus!, I got us pretty good seats if I do say so myself, what row was it again…?” He trailed off looking smugly at Steve. “…Oh, that’s right! Row three.”

“Too bad you couldn’t score front row,” responded Steve mimicking Bucky’s cocky attitude. Bucky huffed at his friend’s response. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” laughed Steve, “Fine if the ballet is where you want to go a week before you go, then the ballet is where we’re going, I guess.”

Bucky’s eyes lit up at his friends’ words. “Yes! This is going to be great, a night on the town, just two gentlemen going to see the ballet.” He grinned, Steve noting how happy he seemed to be going to the ballet; he wasn’t sure why. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 6pm”, Bucky spoke turning away from his still sceptical best friend.

“Okay then,” responded Steve watching him walk off.

Just as he’d said, Bucky had picked Steve up the next day, driving them to the theatre and making it there for 6:30. They wandered the foyer looking at all of the people dressed up to watch the performance like them. Many had already been a few times and were raving about what they were most excited for again. For Bucky and Steve though, this is new territory. Both of them glad though that they were doing something new. They made their way into the theatre finding their seats, as everyone began to pile in, ready for the show.

“I’ve heard that the lead female ballet dancer is meant to be very good”, whispered Bucky to Steve as the lights began to dim.

“You mean the Prima Ballerina?” Whispered back Steve correcting him.

Bucky looked at Steve with an amused look. “For someone who didn’t want to come you sure know a lot about ballet”, chuckled Bucky placing his focus back towards the stage.

Steve sighed and looked back at him, “I don’t know a lot of ballet, that’s just common knowled—” He was shushed by Bucky as he tapped him on the shoulder multiple times in order to tell him to be quiet. Steve looked towards the stage again as the orchestra began playing.

Bucky watched as the curtains opened, the stage filled with ballet dancers.

Not long into the performance you would enter, nervous side stage as your friends reminded you of how brilliant you would be. This wasn’t your first time performing but every time was just as nerve-wracking as the last. This was your passion of course, and you wanted nothing more than to be perfect. You looked down at your tutu, a bright red tutu, a colour that stood out amongst the rest of the cast who were dressed in whites and greens. Even the male lead was only dressed in white. You particularly like your pointe shoes the best; they were a stunning bright red to match the rest of your costume.

Shaken from your thoughts you heard the beginning of your entrance within the music, jumping up and down briefly before getting into position to enter. Then you did, getting into character instantly.

Bucky gasped as his eyes followed you as you entered the stage so gracefully. He had heard you were a magnificent dancer, but he didn’t know you were so beautiful. Composing himself in his seat he watched as you were so engrossed in the music and the dance. It was obvious you loved what you did.

As the ballet continued his eyes never lost focus from you. He even thought there was one time when you had looked at him in the audience, but he knew that couldn’t be true, someone so perfect would never draw their focus from their work to look at him.

Even during the interval Bucky was in his own world as he thought about how captivating you had been. Barely listening but nodding as Steve spoke to him about his thoughts of the show.

When the show finally ended the crowd stood up applauding the performance. Eagerly so did Bucky, Steve following. As you bowed many people threw roses and he mentally cursed himself for not bringing any himself. The curtains closed and the theatre lights slowly came back on.

“Well I must say I did enjoy that,” spoke Steve as they exited the theatre, breaking the silence and pulling Bucky from his thoughts, he stopped walked and looked at Steve.

“Steve, call me crazy but I have to meet her, I have to know her name.”

Steve looked at Bucky and sighed knowing he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “Alright pal, why don’t we wait near the door the cast exit from?”

Bucky practically jumped up and down as he followed his friend, who somehow knew where the cast door was, although it wasn’t a hard guess. Just down the alleyway next to the theatre.

After the performance, adrenaline was running through you like crazy. You loved this feeling. Tonight’s audience was marvellous, and they held nothing back when applauding you all for your performance.

When you performed you couldn’t see much of the audience due to the stage lights, but you could see up to around the 4th row. While you had stopped at the end one of your solos in the first act your eyes had briefly stumbled upon a very handsome man with brunette hair. But you didn’t get a great look because as soon as one song ended the next one started.

You had removed your costume and let your hair out of its bun brushing it out and attempting to make it look as presentable as you could. You got into a nice dress which you had arrived in, keeping your makeup on along with your bright red lipstick. Grabbing your bag, you said goodbye to your fellow colleagues as you exited the backstage area and entered the alleyway.

As you got to where the alleyway ended, and the city sidewalk started you were met with the same brunette you had noticed during the show. “Miss, I’m terribly sorry to bother you after your show but I just had to introduce myself to such a beautiful and talented woman.” Rambled Bucky.

You blushed and looked down as your dress, “Why thank you…” you trailed off waiting for the handsome stranger to tell you, his name. He seemed a bit distractedd looking at your eyes that he didn’t catch on though, causing his smaller blonde friend next to him to nudge him.

“Oh, sorry my names Bucky,” he replied letting out a nervous chuckle, “and this is Steve,” gesturing to his best friend.

Steve raised his arm to shake your hand, “Sorry miss but what was your name again? Bucky here forgot to tell me.”

You raised your arm and shook his hand, letting out a giggle over the two men in front of you, “My names y/n”.

You looked back over at Bucky who seemed to be going over something in his brain. “I wanted to know if you wanted to get a drink or some food or something with me?” What Bucky thought would be a confident question turned more into a rambling mess. Gosh he thought you were pretty.

You blushed, “How am I to know you’re not a murderer?” Raising an eyebrow at the nervous man in front of you.

Steve interjected this time, “I can confirm y/n, he’s not a murderer. Honestly, he’s usually a lot better at flirting than this, I’ve never seen him look so nervous.”

Bucky sent a death glare at Steve before looking back at you. You laughed again, grinning ear to ear, “Well I am pretty hungry, so I won’t say no, especially when a ladies’ man is so nervous to talk to me.” You smirked.

Now it was Bucky’s turn to grin, “great!” He responded. “I just have to drop Steve home and then we’re all set… Did you have a car?” He asked.

“Nope,” you spoke back, “so… do you think you’d be able to drop me home afterwards?” you asked, “You know considering I’m being so nice to a stranger.”

“I was going to offer anyway,” he replied signalling you to follow. You chatted with the two men as you walked to the car, when you got there, you insisted Steve sit in the front considering he was being dropped home. Then once you arrived at his, you both said your goodbyes to Steve. “I hope to see you again soon,” you yelled from the car as you sat in the front waving.

Steve waved back, as Bucky drove off to one of his favourite bars/restaurants beeping his horn at Steve as he left.

The rest of the night went smoothly, you both ate and chatted for hours, feeling like time barely existed with one another. It may sound cheesy but both of you felt like you were meant to meet one another. The only downside was that Bucky had told you he would be leaving for the war at the end of week, so you both knew it could never be anything more until at least the war ended.

It wasn’t until you realised the time that you knew you needed to get home, being Prima Ballerina wasn’t an easy job and it required getting at least some sleep. Bucky understood and drove you home continuing to talk about everything together. He even confessed he wished he had of gotten you some roses, to which you responded that how would he have known to do that. Of course, Bucky being a gentleman he still was disappointed he didn’t, even if you didn’t mind.

When you got home you thanked him for the wonderful night. “I’m going to see you again before I go,” he said from in the car, as you stood by the passenger window.

“I hoped you’d say that” you replied, “Good night Bucky,” you blew him a kiss, and his cheeks turned a bright pink.

“Goodnight y/n” he replied, grinning like a fool. He watched you walk into your apartment to make sure you got in safe before driving off. Gosh you were perfect.

It was finally the day he left.

Just like he promised you did see him again. After each show through the week, he would bring you a rose. Each time making you blush.

Most days he just drove you home and you chatted in the car, but a couple of times you got dinner again and made the most of the time you had with your new friend. You wished he didn’t have to go; you wished every time you saw him you could kiss him. But that felt like it would complicate things, you hadn’t known him long enough to put yourself through that kind of heart ache.

You and Steve were at the train station saying goodbye to Bucky. It was hard for Steve, he wanted nothing more than to go with his best friend and fight for his country, but he couldn’t. They didn’t want him.

For you though, you had only known Bucky a week, you had grown so comfortable with him, so it was hard seeing him leave, not knowing if he’d come back. He knew more about you than some of your closest friends that you had known for years, he was just that kind of guy, someone you could trust.

Bucky wanted nothing more than to just grab you and kiss you, but he didn’t know if that’s what you wanted. Steve had told him the day before to just go for it, but he was unsure. He didn’t want to put you through the heart ache. As he picked up his bags, Steve gave him a giant hug, you stepped forward and did the same hoping you wouldn’t have to let him go.

Releasing each other from your embrace, you both looked into each other’s eyes. Your eyes filled with water, and you could tell Bucky was holding back tears.

“Goodbye Steve, goodbye y/n” he spoke sadly as he began to walk towards the train.

Steve looked at you as if to say, ‘are you sure you don’t want to just go for it?’ and you sighed. He was right, what was there to lose? Bugger this you thought, “Bucky!” you yelled running towards him, “You forgot something!” He turned around confused only to be greeted by you grabbing his face and softly yet hungrily pressing your lips to his. He sighed into the kiss dropping his bags, he didn’t push you away instead he grabbed your waist and pulled you closer.

This kiss was nothing like any of the kisses you had experienced before, if fact it made you feel the same way ballet did. It was the same for Bucky, none of the kisses he had ever shared with anyone felt like this.

You finally stopped and parted, resting your foreheads on one another’s.

“Don’t worry doll, I’ll see you again.” He spoke softly to you.

You stepped back as a few tears fell down your face, nodding. He gave you a charming Bucky smile before picking his bags back up and turning away. You walked back to Steve giving him a hug, as he watched his best friend leave him for the first time in his life.

You wanted nothing more than to believe that you would see each other again.

Little did you know you would, only 72 years later.

Chapter One (next chapter)

288 notes · View notes