hongjoongsmuse · 1 day
a letter from your soulmate.
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december 7 2022 ; my first ever pac reading, completed with the help of the good tarot by colette baron-reid. images from pinterest. reading conducted and words written by hongjoongsmuse on tumblr. letters are written as if you are both currently together.
disclaimer ! despite what some people may think, tarot is NOT a fixed fate, nor can it predict the future. tarot is merely just an act of guidance and outcomes are subject to change based on one's actions. it can be taken into consideration when making choices, but it shouldn't be taken as fact/evidence. any results you may get may vary from reader to reader depending on their own energies, intuitions, personal interpretations of the cards and the date/time the reading was conducted. if what i say is different from someone else, it doesn't mean i'm right, but it doesn't mean i'm wrong either. the same goes for any other reader, until things can be confirmed with fact. furthermore, pac readings are not specific to one person. they are general readings, and can pick up on multiple energies. therefore, please take it all with a grain of salt, as it is not specifically tailored for anyone. lastly, i have some blog rules; - i do not accept personal reading requests at this point in time. - due to some harrassment i received a few months ago, i will not answer anything sent to my inbox without an identifier (an emoji, initials, a number etc). - if you are requesting a k-idol reading, please read this post.
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pile one !
my beloved, i am eternally grateful that fate has brought us together, and has granted me the greatest honor and privilege of being by your side. i have always vowed, and i will always vow to protect you, and keep you out of harm's way. i will make up for everyone else who has failed to give you what you deserve. please don't worry anymore. you're safe with me. and i know you know that - it's been an absolute pleasure to see you lower your defenses little by little and see that smile grow wider and wider, every single day. and i'm still always here for you - just say the word; i'll be there. i know your past experiences have been dark - however, as you know, you're not in those situations anymore, and i will take any big or small of a step with you as necessary, to help you see and walk back into the light. i wouldn't be surprised if you are feeling quite hesitant on expressing yourself the way you would like to. but - my beloved, however you wish to do so is nothing to be ashamed of, and i will always love and support you just the same. in fact, i love it when you can be who you are. you don't need to hide away or put other people first. do it for yourself, not for them. but alas, i know that is a lot easier said than done. take as much time as you need. we're in no rush. we have all of our lives ahead, after all. just know that - i know you can do it. i believe in you. and i'm extremely proud of you. you've made a lot of progress. i miss you, my beloved. i'll write to you again soon. until then, take care. i love you with all my heart - forever and always. ♡
emperor, fortune's wheel, page of water, 2 of air, 2 of earth
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pile two !
hi sweetheart ! it's me - the most talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before person on this entire planet ever oh yeah, and your partner i guess. seriously though, how have you been? i miss you loads. without you i feel like half of me is missing. get it? because you're my other half, and you complete me and make me whole? haha, you love me. fortunately, right? :))) now i'm here, i've got some good news for you. i got that promotion ! with more money coming in, maybe i can take you around the world, tick the things off your bucket list, and finally show you that there's a lot more out there than you think. and who knows? maybe we'll find the place we belong, and we can settle down - take things a bit slower... ... WELL as long as it's not TOO slow, i'm cool with that. i still want to do things and explore new places every day, even when i'm like a hundred years old - as long as it's with you by my side. i know i can be a bit much sometimes. but - i truly believe we're meant to be, and i won't stop loving you unless you no longer want me to. and even then - i don't think i'll ever be able stop loving you. next time we meet, let's hope we'll be on some sort of wild adventure in a place we've never been to yet. but until then ... try not to miss me and my talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before presence too much :) ♡
queen of fire, page of fire, king of earth, fortune's wheel, love
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pile three !
darling; are you well? i miss you dearly. my sincerest apologies for not writing to you sooner - the workload has been more than expected. but - at least completion of it will guarantee me that promotion, and i'll be able to return to you with an even larger bank account that can take care of us and our future. did you receive my gift? before you scold me, i know you told me to stop sending them and to focus on my career instead. i'll assure you that i most definitely am doing that - i've had to fight the urge to send you so many little trinkets along the way. however, i couldn't resist it this time. the moment my eyes gazed upon it, i just knew it was something that would mean a lot for the rest of eternity. just like when i met you. :) thank you for being patient with me, darling. it truly means a lot. not just with my career either - but with us. that we're in no rush to get married, or anything like that. that we'll wait for each other, no matter how long it takes. the long term commitment and building of trust is all we need. and then - we'll know when it's time, together. take care until the next time we're in contact - which is hopefully very soon, and hopefully when i'm about ten times wealthier. i'll do my very best to ensure that happens - but just know that ultimately, you're the most priceless thing in the entire world; nay - the universe! promotion or not, as long as i have you, i'll be the wealthiest individual to ever exist. i love you, darling. bye for now. ♡
messenger of air, messenger of earth, queen of earth, 6 of earth, 7 of earth
193 notes · View notes
vyduan · 2 days
Soul on Fire: Ch 1
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Author: vyduan Pairing: Kim Seokjin | Reader Genre: soulmate touch AU, slow burn, strangers to lovers, smut, idol au, angst Word Count: ~6.7k Rating: Explicit, 18+ Warnings: swearing, legal consumption of alcohol, light mentions of Ehlers-Danos Syndrome, light mentions of disability in general, eventual smut
Summary: What happens when you find your soulmate accidentally at a gala and he’s international superstar Kim Seokjin of BTS and you are both engaged to other people? Or the soulmate touch AU that no one asked for but I absolutely had to write. 
Notes: I went on a tear of reading soulmate touch AUs recently (where once you touch, your soulmate’s touch replaces food) and I’m indebted to the intricate worlds created by @bagelswrites and their fic “Love at First Touch,” “Turbulence” by @fallencairns, and “Trip No Further” by new bestie @matchstick6812​. 
Soul on Fire Masterlist [IN PROGRESS]: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10  | AO3 For more of my fics, here is my Masterlist.
Chapter 1.
You tried not to fidget in your seat but it was nearing the end of the interminable (and inaugural) White House Asian American Awards ceremony and your patience was wearing thin. The fact that you’d already received your 2026 Asian American Poet of the Year award probably had a lot to do with it. You were done with smiling, fake or otherwise. Your belly was full though you didn’t understand how a dinner in honor of Asian Americans had to be the generic surf and turf bullshit of every other gala dinner.
There was a poem in there somewhere.
You leaned over your fiance’s ear. “I can’t wait for you to take me home and fuck me, Lucas,” you whispered.
You saw a hint of a smirk grace his handsome face, his well-groomed goatee the perfect frame for his perfect smile. You couldn’t wait to smother your cunt with his mouth, the abrasions of his facial hair the headiest contrast to the smooth heat of his tongue.
You’d perhaps had a little too much champagne.
“And now, for the first 2026 White House Global Asian Award, we are proud to honor K-pop band BTS!” you heard the emcee finally announce.
You watched as seven men in sharp tuxedos headed to the vividly decorated stage full of balloons and flowers and politely thanked the host and the White House. You listened with half an ear as the tallest member said his prepared words in English. You were surprised by their sincerity and poignancy — especially when he’d admitted to feeling awkward at an event meant to honor Asian Americans, an experience he did not personally have. He only hoped that their work as BTS helped elevate Asians everywhere, including America.
You found that neatly done and your respect for them as a group lifted.
You clapped mindlessly as the emcee continued his closing thoughts for the evening, your mind returning to the handsome men exiting the stage.
You only had a vague idea of who BTS was, having seen them in various headlines over the years. You weren’t quite sure how a Korean band was Asian American, but you supposed the award was technically “Global Asian” so why the fuck not. You were actually very surprised that they were actually here in person to receive the award, but you supposed that since it was the White House inviting them, it would seem rude or spur some international incident if they did not.
You hated coercion of any sort and so, you sympathized with the delicate position they were in more than you resented the blatant publicity stunting of the White House. You supposed whatever brought more eyes to Asian American art, work, and excellence was a good thing.
It didn’t hurt that they were the hottest people in this ballroom. The seven men with disgustingly poreless skin had been seated together at a round table nearest to the center. You, being a little less important on the scale of famous Asian Americans in the room, were a few tables behind them. Though your view of the center stage was slightly obstructed, your view of them was perfectly angled. When you’d mentioned it to Lucas, he’d just chuckled and murmured promises of lewd activities he was planning to take advantage of your new obsession.
You loved that man so much. If you’d believed in soulmates (as a concept, not the incredibly rare phenomenon your brother studied that affected 5 to 10% of the world population where two bonded people required each other for sustenance and energy), Lucas Gao would fit the bill to a tee. He was brilliant, kind, and terribly funny. Plus, he was tall and handsome, too.
You were a sucker for kind, handsome, and funny.
“Y/N, they’re calling for all award recipients to go on stage and take a group photo,” Lucas said, interrupting your thoughts.
“What’s that?” you asked.
“Go on stage, babe. They want to take a group picture,” Lucas repeated, his eyes laughing at you. He was used to you spacing out, your mind mulling over some turn of phrase, but that didn’t make it less amusing to him.
“Oh, shit!” you exclaimed and rushed to the stage.
Lucas’s rowdy cackles followed you all the way to where the rest of the honorees were already gathering. If you hadn’t been in such a hurry, you would have turned around to flip him off, decorum be damned. As it was, you didn’t want to get caught doing something unseemly in front of all these top Asian American minds. Instead, you rued your silver stilettos and itchy Rent the Runway confection that hindered your progress.
Yes, yes. You looked hot and expensive, but at what cost?
You were ushered to the front due to your height and somehow, you ended up squeezed next to the members of BTS (the true focal point of the picture). You were hesitant to get too close to them but the crush was unavoidable and soon you were pressed into the side of two of them (you had no idea who — you would have to investigate after they sent the official pics out).
Before you knew it, photos were officially done. You tried to extricate yourself from everyone, occasionally thanking and congratulating the other award recipients, but of course, a ton of people were trying to get closer to BTS members, wanting private photos with them. You didn’t blame them, but all you wanted was to get back to Lucas, for him to take you to your hotel room, and have him fuck your brains out.
A very handsy (and pushy) person rudely shoved you, not caring that your dress was rented or that you were already unsteady in such precarious (but pretty) shoes. You felt your ankle give and before you knew it, you were falling. Your stomach swooped as you anticipated the heavy (and humiliating) landing — but instead of making an ass of yourself on the floor, several sets of warm hands caught you.
A shocking jolt of electricity zapped from one of the hands on your person, radiating all the way to your extremities. Your body went slack — first with the sudden shock to your system, and then from the wave of perfect contentment that settled in its wake. Though you had never felt any lack, it was like you had suddenly been made whole.
“Miss L/N, are you alright?” you heard a low, raspy voice ask in charmingly accented English.
You opened your eyes (which you did not recall closing) and laid eyes on the hot BTS member who had given the acceptance speech. “I’m fine, thank you,” you said, still slightly dazed.
Then you realized that all your weight was still being hard carried by several as yet unseen people, their hands feeling tacky against your bare skin, so you quickly accepted the young man’s hand as he helped you up.
“Thank you,” you remembered to say. You turned around and to your extreme mortification, a few of the other BTS members were there. Apparently, they had saved you from a fated appointment on the floor. You felt your face heat and only hoped that your foundation and makeup was enough to cover it. “And thank you all so much. I’m so sorry.”
They all bowed and rushed over each other, saying the polite phrases one does after saving a young woman from wiping out.
“Babe, you okay?” you heard Lucas ask, his strong arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you close. “Thank you all so much for saving Y/N, here. I saw from across the room and couldn’t get here fast enough.”
You leaned back into his sturdy chest, gaining comfort from his warmth and steadfast presence.
“It was no problem,” replied the leader.
“I’m Lucas Gao,” your fiance said as he stretched out his arm to introduce himself. “If you ever need any help with international finance law, I’d be happy to offer my services in thanks.”
“Lucas,” you reprimanded, both amused and embarrassed. “I’m sure they have their own fleet of lawyers.”
“And this gorgeous creature is my fiancee, Y/N L/N. She’s the poet of the year, you know?” He beamed an insouciant grin, looking every bit the lighthearted rake he could be when he wanted to weasel out of trouble. Your heart skipped a beat. “It’s always best to take advantage of every opportunity, no?” he added for your benefit. “Don’t worry, Y/N. Everyone loves me.”
The leader — you really wish you knew his name, you felt rude not having a name for him even in your thoughts — he cracked a laugh and introduced himself formally. “I’m Kim Namjoon, leader of BTS. These are some of my fellow members: Kim Seokjin, Park Jimin, and Jeon Jungkook.”
You looked over the three other men and thanked them again. The one named Seokjin seemed a little out of it, rubbing his hand as if it hurt. You hoped you didn’t injure him.
“Are you okay?” you inquired, not wanting to be rude. “Did I hurt you with my fall? I’m so sorry if I did. Should we get a medic?”
Seokjin startled, as if he was suddenly aware of you for the first time. “Oh, I’m fine. Thank you. No need to worry.”
“Well, I am in all your debt,” Lucas interjected, voice serious. “Y/N is my favorite person in the whole world and though I’m sure she doesn’t mind being rescued by four incredibly handsome men, she’d rather avoid the whole thing altogether.”
You rolled your eyes. “Oh Christ, Lucas,” you scolded. “Laying it on a bit thick, aren’t you?”
“How else will this stick out in your memory?” he teased, eyes sparkling. “You guys might not believe this, but men are constantly falling at her feet. I’m doing this for all of you.”
“That was one time!” you laughed.
The guys all joined in good-naturedly. That’s what you loved about Lucas. He was so good with people. Half the time, you thought his business acumen was mostly getting people to like him and then being willing to do him favors. You supposed that was what most of networking was. It would do you good to learn from him, but it had been three years and none of it had stuck. It likely never would.
You were a prickly sort, but for some reason, Lucas loved you anyway.
Namjoon’s eyes crinkled into happy crescents. “It was our pleasure. Please excuse us, I think our managers are trying to get us out of here.”
“Thank you again,” you said as they left and sent you polite waves.
“Wow,” chuckled Lucas as he guided you back to your seats. “That was exciting!”
“It was humiliating,” you griped.
“I doubt they’ll hold it against you, Y/N,” Lucas comforted. “They seemed like good guys.”
You hummed in thought. “Yes, I suppose they did.”
“Let’s go back to the hotel, hmmm?” Lucas murmured into your hair, snuggling close to you.
You felt his hand skim your bare back, intimate and close. You shivered and for a moment, you wondered why the gesture felt empty somehow. As if you were expecting literal sparks to emit from his hand. You shook off the thought and followed him out the ballroom and towards the taxi line.
You woke up the next morning, feverish and shivering. Your entire back radiated pain, pulsing with a fire you had not thought possible. You whimpered as Lucas put cold compress after cold compress on your forehead. He offered you pain medication and you dutifully swallowed them despite immediately vomiting. The only thing you could keep down was slow sips of water.
You slipped in and out of consciousness. Your dreams were strange and when you tried to remember a few days later, they all slipped away. All you knew was that it resembled Tim Burton movies on acid mixed with a little Salavador Dali for ambiance. You could occasionally hear people speaking in hushed voices or feel people poking and prodding you.
And then, your eyes flashed open, landing on poor Lucas exhaustedly slumped in a hospital chair. You were in a hospital room with tubes connected to your arms and sensors stuck to your chest. Every part of your body ached, but most especially, your back still hurt something fierce.
“Lucas?” you croaked.
Your beautiful fiance’s lashes fluttered and then, you were staring into his deep, brown eyes.
“Y/N?” he said, voice cracking. You had never seen him so worried and anxious. He seemed sad, too. But you supposed you would be in the same state if your positions were reversed.
“What happened?”
Lucas clasped your hand in both of his own. His skin seemed dry and chapped and you had to resist the urge to tell him to put on some lotion. His eyes filled and you had a sudden sense of foreboding.
“What’s going on, Lucas? Am I dying? Why are you crying?” Panic began to fill your senses and he pulled you into a tight embrace.
“No no no, you’re not dying, babe. Or at least, no more than we all are,” Lucas tried to joke. “But it is serious.”
He sighed, leaned back in his chair and wiped a shaking palm over his face. “You’ve been very sick, Y/N, but the good news is that the doctors have figured out what you have.”
You wanted to vomit. “What is it? Do I have cancer?”
“No, baby,” he replied, though his face still seemed stricken. “You were in the throes of First Touch Fever,” he explained.
“What? Don’t be ridiculous. Don’t try to soften the blow for me, Lucas. It’s cancer, isn’t it?” You barely absorbed his words and quite frankly, you did not want to.
Lucas shook his head. “I called your brother Godfrey after the doctor gave me his diagnosis. I told him all your symptoms — including the hand shaped bruise on your back — and he agreed with them.”
“But that’s impossible,” you stammered out, voice broken. What did this mean? How could Lucas not be your endgame? “They must have it all wrong.”
“No, Y/N, I’m afraid they are right,” he said quietly.
You sat in your hospital bed, the thin hospital gown doing nothing to ward off the chills spreading through your body. “What does this mean? Have they found who it might be? I don’t even know how it works — just that we have to find each other before our bodies totally shut down?”
“I’ll get a doctor to explain, Y/N,” replied Lucas. “This is definitely outside my area of expertise. I can call your brother after and he can explain it in layman’s terms.”
You nodded, despondent. “They have instances of platonic soulmates, right? Like, it’s only called Soulmate Syndrome because it’s catchy and alliterative. It’s not like people are actually romantic soulmates — it’s just more palatable if they are.”
“I really don’t know, Y/N,” Lucas said glumly.
You wanted to cry. “We should have never come here. I knew we shouldn’t have attended this fucking gala. I had a bad feeling about it.”
Lucas’s mouth quirked into a half-smile of sorts. “You were worried your award was a fluke and that if you actually attended, they would regretfully inform you of the mistake as you checked in.”
He stood and leaned over you to kiss you on the forehead.
“Let me ping a nurse to tell them you’re awake. I should have done that immediately,” he said.
You watched as the love of your life called the nurse’s desk and then returned to your side. “Thank you for taking care of me, Lucas,” you said softly.
“Of course, babe. You’d do the same for me. We’re in this shit together,” he reassured.
Lucas caught you up on the last four days. He’d called 911 when your breathing became labored and your fever spiked over 104 degrees. Then mostly he just sat next to you in the hospital in the hopes of you waking up and was the liaison to your family.
Your mother would have flown in immediately to D.C., but your grandmother’s health had taken a turn for the worse. Your father would have come, but he, too, was down with some bug that was sweeping through the Sacramento area. Your older brothers, Godfrey and Grayson (such pretentious and yet fitting names), couldn’t get away from work, and so poor Lucas had to stand in the gap. He’d called in for a few more days off work (though he’d been working off the spotty hospital wifi to keep his mind off of things and not be too behind).
When the doctor came in, you automatically reached out for Lucas’s comforting hand.
“Hi, Y/N,” she said. “I’m Dr. Dana Yee, our hospital’s leading expert on Soulmate Syndrome. I’m here to answer as many of your questions as possible and explain to you how it progresses and manifests, as well as some of your next steps.”
“Okay,” you said.
And so, you listened as Dr. Yee explained that it was called a syndrome because it was a cluster of symptoms that correlated to each other and were often associated with a particular disease. Until they could find out the definitive cause of the syndrome, it would continue to be labeled as such and not a disease or illness. There were many theories, of course, but few of them held water and Dr. Yee would not be delving into them at this time.
She went on and on, mostly emphasizing that what had trickled into popular culture was largely incorrect. In general, patients would experience First Touch Fever, a period of 3 to 5 days of intense fever and pain at the First Touch site while your immune system was shocked into recognizing another person’s antigens and immune system as yours.
Once you recovered from the fever, you had approximately 15 to 30 days before you would need to rely on the other person for all your energetic and nutritious needs. While you could still eat and drink regular food and liquids (unlike what the movies depicted), your body’s digestive system no longer quite functioned in the same way, not needing to extract any nutrition from the food. Thus, whatever you ate or drank would leave your body in relatively the same condition as it entered. Whether that was through the form of vomiting or oddly shaped excrement depended on your personal preference as well as your body.
The onset of these symptoms were usually the signs that you would need to have skin to skin contact with your soulmate sooner rather than later. The more skin to skin contact, the less time it took to recharge. It was strange because how could two depleted bodies replenish each other energetically and nutritionally? And yet, that was how it worked. There was very little waste produced other than urine and sweat — and that was because despite the bond, people with Soulmate Syndrome still needed to ingest water.
Alcohol, drugs, and other medications could be absorbed, but at very low rates. Dosing was still being figured out, but it was commonly accepted that you would need to at the very least double or triple the amounts to obtain pre-Syndrome results. Doctors found that most physical ailments could be ameliorated by skin to skin contact — especially over the affected areas — so medications were usually the last resort.
As for the myth that if a soulmate died, the other would also die, that was not technically true. One could survive without a living soulmate, but they would have to be constantly hooked up to an IV for their nutrients and their quality of life would be severely diminished. Many people in their extreme grief and loss of connection chose to die rather than to be without their soulmate (a reaction you found particularly ableist and ridiculous, but you supposed you would get over that hump when you needed to).
Your ears perked into attention when Dr. Yee explained what measures were in place to help you search for your soulmate.
“Because time is of the essence, the protocols for when someone comes into a hospital exhibiting signs of First Touch Fever is to immediately send out a notice to all hospitals within a hundred mile radius to look out for another person with the same symptoms,” Dr. Yee explained. “Since it’s a very rare occurrence, odds are that the other person is usually the soulmate. Of course, this doesn’t account for people who choose to ride out the fever at home or have already traveled outside the area.”
“Makes sense,” you said. “I presume by the lack of someone presenting me with a new soulmate, you have had no luck with this route.”
Dr. Yee grimaced. “You are correct. The onset of First Touch Fever usually occurs within 24 hours after first touch, but for some people, the fever is mild or doesn’t manifest until later. Due to the extremely small sample size, we do not know much more than this.” The doctor took a deep breath. “In cases such as yours, we also input your basic information like sex, age, current location, and possible First Touch site and occurrence dates and location, into a global database for other hospitals or investigators to check.”
“What happens if we never find them?” you asked quietly.
“Well, then we’ll figure something out. For the people who are in this situation, we usually implant a permanent IV port on your body. You can decide whether or not to be hooked up to an IV all day, or only at night,” Dr. Yee explained. “Your energy levels will be down a lot and exhaustion will be your constant companion. But you will be alive and can carry on a mostly normal life.”
You considered Dr. Yee’s words carefully. Despite not particularly caring for this skin on skin contact business with a complete stranger, it did seem better than being tethered to an IV at all times. Otherwise travel would be a complete pain in the ass — not to mention swimming or revealing clothing — or whatever else you had not yet thought of.
Lucas squeezed your hand. You surreptitiously examined him, unsure if he would prefer you find your soulmate and possibly be lost to him, or never find out and live with a drastic life-altering condition.
After the doctor answered a few of your minor questions, you sank back against your bed, utterly spent.
“I’m already exhausted,” you sighed.
Lucas gazed at you sympathetically. “It’s a lot to take in.”
“Are we okay?” you asked softly. “I —” Your voice broke and tears streamed down your face.
“Hey, hey, Y/N,” he comforted, his hand stroking your cheek gently. “We’re okay, babe. We’re more than okay. We’ll figure it out, okay? I love you — with or without this new energy parasite.”
You cracked a wry smile. “It kinda is like a parasite, huh?”
“I guess ‘mutually beneficial symbiotic relationship’ is how Godfrey explained it, but parasite sounds way cooler,” Lucas said. “And just think how much money we’ll save on food — and you might finally be able to outdrink me.”
“It’s not my fault you have this insanely efficient liver,” you griped.
Lucas preened. “We’ll have to go toe to toe one of these days,” he grinned. “Can you imagine the number of wagers we could win? You’ll drink folks under the table!”
“I suppose we would have to test my limits first before we make any preposterous claims,” you reasoned. “All our food savings will be sunk into alcohol.”
“Sounds like a good trade to me,” he said. “I love you, Y/N. I’ve got you, okay? We’re stronger together than apart. I promise.”
You smiled, your heart impossibly full. You didn’t care what the doctors said. If anyone was your soul’s mate, it was Lucas.
Seokjin’s hand wouldn’t stop throbbing. It had been hours since he’d caught that poet along with the rest of his members and really, his hand shouldn’t be hurting so much. It was a bit like pins and needles, but much more severe. The weirdest thing was, he could have sworn that when he’d touched her, an arc of electricity had shot from his hand up his arm and through the rest of his body. He’d felt strangely invigorated and yet, deeply satiated. It was very confusing. His body had almost gone limp with pleasure and yet, hours later, his hand was practically vibrating in pain.
Seokjin wondered if perhaps his Ehlers-Danlos syndrome symptoms had worsened. Normally, he had no problem lifting or supporting a minor fall such as the woman’d had — and truly, his hand felt nothing like when he had a flare-up, so Seokjin really didn’t know what was going on.
All he knew was that he was in the first class cabin on a flight back to Seoul, except he couldn’t sleep due to the pain. He’d tried pain medication, but none of it was working. Plus, Seokjin felt warm, like he had overexerted himself. He hoped he didn’t have a fever — they might not let him back into the country if he exhibited any symptoms of COVID or flu.
Seokjin closed his eyes again, hoping he could power through the remainder of the sixteen hour flight. It briefly occurred to him that he should tell one of his members or at least a manager, but they had all promptly conked out and he didn’t want to bother them.
After not being able to sleep, Seokjin gave up entirely and queued up a bunch of movies on his screen. He texted his girlfriend Chae-Yeong, mentioning briefly that he couldn’t sleep and wasn’t feeling well. She, true to form, texted many cute emojis and stickers and wishes for him to feel better soon.
He was so endeared and fond that it was almost enough to make him forget his pains for a while. Sometimes, Seokjin truly wondered what he’d done in a past life to lead him to live the charmed life he now lived.
Seokjin missed Chae-Yeong something fierce. He always missed her when he traveled and lately, he’d been thinking that he should finally propose. He was already 34 international age (he still had great difficulty thinking in those terms — even after Korea had shifted its age system). That was the usual time to settle down, right? And though Chae-Yeong never complained, she was 32 and likely receiving pressure from her friends and family.
He smiled to himself as he thought of how they’d met. He had just finished his military service and was attending a friend’s birthday party when he heard her laugh. She was so cute and sweet, he had been lost immediately. Chae-Yeong had such happy eyes and a pleasant demeanor that Seokjin couldn’t help but think of her even days after the party. He’d finally given in and asked his friend for her information — much to his friend’s delight.
They’d been inseparable since. She’d even moved in with him after a year, though it had been somewhat of an adjustment for him. They’d had to be very careful, but Seokjin was staunchly in his thirties now. His fans had to know he was going to be settling down soon. In fact, they should be encouraging it!
Seokjin occupied himself with bingeing the latest Marvel movies between texting Chae-Yeong, and after a while, he fell into a restless slumber on the leather seat.
When he woke up, everything felt too hot. He tore off his oversized Louis Vuitton sweatshirt but that didn’t help. He asked the flight attendant for some cool water and downed it so quickly, he had to bother her again for more.
“Are you feeling alright, hyung?” Jimin asked. “You seem a little flushed.”
“I’m not sure,” Seokjin finally admitted. “My hand has been hurting ever since the award show, and I just can’t get comfortable.”
“How did you injure yourself? Surely it wasn’t because of that woman we caught?” Jimin giggled. “Hyung, you really are getting on in years if that hurt you. Let me see.”
Jimin reached out and grabbed Seokjin’s hand and gasped.
“Hyung, what did you do to your hand?” he exclaimed.
Seokjin snatched his hand back to examine it only to be confronted by dark and mottled flesh. His entire palm was black and purple. At least that explained the pain — but how could he have wounded himself to that extent without noticing?
Jimin examined Seokjin closely. “When did your hand start hurting?”
Seokjin thought for a moment. “You know, it’s kinda weird but right after we caught the lady at the show. The instant I touched her, it was like I got zapped.”
“Like when it’s really dry and you static shock someone?”
“No,” he said, “like I touched something hot or got shocked by a live wire. It was really weird.”
“And it’s been hurting since then?” Jimin confirmed.
“That’s the weird thing though. At the time, it didn’t really hurt? It felt amazing — like right after you — you know.”
His bandmate leered mischievously. “No, I don’t. Please elaborate.”
Seokjin could feel his ears heat up, which was some sort of miracle because his whole body felt warm already. “Like right after you nut,” he choked out.
“So, orgasmic. You had an orgasm after touching a stranger,” Jimin teased. “Hyung, it hasn’t been that long since you saw Chae-Yeong noona.”
“You insolent pup!” Seokjin scolded, though he wasn’t really mad. He was used to their teasing. “I said it’s like the feeling right after — not the actual orgasm.”
“Well, what’s the point then?”
“I don’t know! It’s not like I had any control over it!”
“But since then it’s hurt?” Jimin asked, still concerned despite his gentle teasing.
Seokjin nodded. “Yeah. It just felt all tingly at first — like after your arm falls asleep. But it’s steadily gotten worse. And now, it throbs and feels like it’s radiating up from my hand and into my forearm.”
“Maybe you got bitten by a radioactive spider.”
“That would be so cool.”
The two of them giggled some more and Seokjin was grateful for the distraction. When the meal came, he was surprisingly not interested though he tried to choke down some of the spicy pork ssam and the accompanying corn soup. The flavors of home comforted him. It was far better than the overdone steak and lobster they’d had at the gala, but he supposed they were working and it could have been worse.
“You should probably go see the doctor after we get back, hyung,” Jimin said after the meal. “It’s likely nothing, but just in case you start getting spidey senses, you’d want to know sooner than later, right?”
Seokjin laughed. He loved how Jimin knew exactly what to say to make him feel better.
“Although, the more I think about it, the more it sounds like what happened in the drama that was popular a few months back,” mused Jimin. “What was it called again? ‘Soulmate of My Dreams’ or something cheesy like that?”
His brain scratched to a stop. He took it back. Jimin didn’t know what to say at all. “Did you say soulmates?” Seokjin stammered.
“Yeah, the main character had all your symptoms after touching a woman, and then he had like 30 days to find her before he died a painful, horrible death,” the younger man continued.
“This is not helpful,” he choked. “This is the opposite of helpful!”
Jimin at least had the grace to look apologetic. “I mean, what are the odds though, hyung? First, to be a global K-pop star at our level. Second, to also be one of the few with a soulmate?” He huffed a laugh. “You should buy a lotto ticket.”
Seokjin’s mind raced. He knew very little about soulmates other than they required each other to live or something and that their soulmate status was set off by touch. If they were separated from each other too long, they would starve and die. That about exhausted Seokjin’s “knowledge,” which even he knew was more like a bunch of rumors and hearsay.
“It’s probably just your condition, hyung,” Jimin said again, going back to reassurance. “Don’t worry about it. You’re probably just really tired from all the traveling, your immune system is working overtime, and you’ll be better before you know it.”
He nodded and secretly hoped that was the case. If it was his Ehlers-Danlos acting up, he understood that. He could deal with that. Seokjin possibly could also deal with becoming the first Korean Spiderman. It was the soulmate thing that would ruin everything. Everything.
Everything was ruined.
“Are you sure?” Seokjin asked his doctor in the cold, clinical office. “Everything you’re describing about the First Touch Fever sounds terrible and I don’t even feel that bad — just a tiny fever and some aches and pains. No more than after a long day of rehearsal — well, minus the fever, I guess.”
“Your symptoms, though mild, are consistent with Soulmate Syndrome,” repeated Dr. Cho. “It has been hypothesized that people who are high endurance athletes or really in good shape tend to experience First Touch Fever better than most. Of course, though this sounds like it’s good, it often delays diagnosis and can needlessly endanger both parties.”
“I see.”
Seokjin felt uncommonly exposed — and not only because he was sitting in a paper thin medical examination gown. The patient room was not conducive to warm fuzzies and he yearned for one of his stuffed animals to hug.
“Understandably, you will have concerns. In particular because of your high profile occupation and lifestyle. You will want to discuss this with your family and company, and if you need me present, I am at your disposal,” Dr. Cho offered. That was kind of him.
Dr. Cho explained a lot more and then offered Seokjin a packet full of websites, resources, support groups, and book recommendations. On a good day, Seokjin hated research, mostly trusting that a combination of luck and good humor (or truthfully, his much older friends) would see him through a new situation. This soulmate thing though, along with their stratospheric rise on the global pop scene, offered few friends ahead of him.
He would get to making his way through all that information, but first, he had to hurry home and talk to Chae-Yeong. He was not looking forward to it in the slightest.
“You have what?” Chae-Yeong asked, voice only slightly rising. It was one of the attributes Seokjin loved the most about her. She was generally calm and rolled with the punches. This was one helluva punch.
“The doctor diagnosed me with Soulmate Syndrome,” he repeated carefully, shifting slightly on their cream-colored sofa, unsure how Chae-Yeong was going to take it.
“I thought that was a thing dramas made up,” she said shakily. “How — how did you get it? Were you… intimate with someone?” Chae-Yeong looked on the verge of tears. Not for the first time did Seokjin suddenly hate the random woman who’d fallen in front of him.
“No, jagiya,” he said. “It doesn’t work like that. I mean, I suppose it could, but that’s not how it happened. I helped a woman who had fallen and my hand touched her bare back.”
“Why were you touching her bare back?” Chae-Yeong’s voice hitched higher.
Seokjin wanted to kick himself. “I told it wrong, jagi. We were all at the White House Asian Award thing and it was time for a group picture. One of the award winners was a woman and she was wearing a backless dress,” he said, noting how his girlfriend’s demeanor was becoming more and more closed off. “Someone pushed her and she lost her balance. We were all right behind her and caught her. I happened to touch her back — just like Jimin and Jungkook did!”
He felt defensive, but he really didn’t know how to make Chae-Yeong understand. It was just an innocent touch and nothing more.
She cast him a look of extreme skepticism. “Is this on film somewhere?”
“Jagi, I have no idea. Probably? Her fiance saw from across the room — it was in public. I promise, nothing untoward happened.” Seokjin felt desperate. “Chae-Yeong, please. Have I ever given you a reason to doubt me or to worry?”
His girlfriend of two years scrutinized him, face still pinched. “No, I suppose you haven’t.”
“I love you, Chae-Yeong. I would never do anything to hurt you,” he insisted.
She sighed, tears dropping from her sweet, brown eyes. “I know, oppa. I’m — I’m sorry I doubted you. It’s just — all those dramas make it seem like love at first touch. I can’t help but think this means the end for us.”
Seokjin handed her some tissues and she took them gratefully, dabbing her eyes and blowing her nose. He looked around his living room, so much more of a home once Chae-Yeong had moved in with him, adding her delicate touch in the cream and gold accents scattered around their living room.
“Look, I don’t know what will happen in the future, but there are instances of platonic soulmates — especially when the soulmates happen to be different sexual orientations,” Seokjin explained. “And there have definitely been situations where people were already married or had partners.”
“What happened to them?” Chae-Yeong asked.
Seokjin’s heart sank. From the bit he’d scanned on the car ride home, it had not been promising. “They often separated. Not always because of infidelity or anything, but can you imagine just how disruptive or awkward needing to touch someone who was not your spouse to recharge would be?” He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. “I suppose that is not really good news.”
“No, not really,” his girlfriend replied. “But I suppose the odds were already difficult for us, right? You’re a world famous idol with millions of fans and I’m just a nobody.”
He felt throbbing pressure behind his eyes. “You’re not just a nobody, jagiya.”
She waved her hand imperiously. “You know what I mean, oppa. I’m just a regular person. You are — well you’re you.”
“I’m a regular person, too,” he murmured as he picked up her hand and kissed it reverently. “And as a regular person, I love you. You are everything I ever wanted in a girlfriend —” he hesitated a moment but then decided he’d go big or go home. “Or in a wife.”
Chae-Yeong’s eyes widened. “A wife?”
Seokjin leaned closer to her, his hand stroking the outline of her soft face. “Surely, you know I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“I — I had hoped, but I didn’t want to pressure you,” she stumbled.
“Well, I do. This isn’t an official proposal — I have better sense than that.” Seokjin smiled at his girlfriend’s snort of laughter. “But it’s a promise to you that nothing — not even this diagnosis — will get in the way of us.”
Chae-Yeong’s eyes brimmed with emotion as she took in his declaration. “How can you be sure?”
“Because I believe in us,” Seokjin said firmly. “I worked my ass off and brought a tiny music company on the brink of bankruptcy to a billion dollar one from the might of my face alone,” he said, knowing he was being entirely ludicrous. Chae-Yeong wouldn’t take him too seriously. She knew how he was.
“Hmmmm,” she giggled. “All by yourself, huh?”
“Yeah,” he husked as he pulled her close to him. “Okay, maybe I had some help — but we’ll have help and support, too.”
Chae-Yeong leaned into him, her lips so tantalizingly close. “Okay, oppa. I trust you.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and he closed the distance. She tasted sweet and warm, like home. That she didn’t send sparks tingling under his skin was irrelevant. Seokjin loved Chae-Yeong, and he wouldn’t let some American poet ruin it.
~~~~~ Soul on Fire Masterlist [IN PROGRESS]: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10  | AO3 For more of my fics, here is my Masterlist.
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oldhabbits · 4 months
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becherdireinen · 8 months
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averyluckyclover · 4 months
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we are very close
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jadelein · 7 months
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”Just let me be yours and you can be mine.”
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blackloversthings · 5 months
The streets are not for me. I belong to the enchanted forest among the magical beings eating berries with my soul mate under the moonlight.
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ririsasy · 10 days
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Tenoch at it again “I hope we will continue working all our lives together because it’s very joyful when you find colleagues like her.” 😹 I thought he had said it all but it just keep coming. I am in love with the way he adores her.
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what-iz-life · 7 days
You deserve a calm love with someone who's your safe space, your best friend and brings peace to your soul during stressful times.
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itsmexx · 23 days
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leoascendente · 2 months
PAC // The next chapter in your love life 💖
Hi babes! Welcome to another PAC. This is about what is about to come in your love life because of this Venus starpoint, remember this is a general reading so take only what resonates. This is mostly related to single people but there are also messages in every pile for people who are already in a relationship.
Take a deep breath and choose the pile you feel more drawn to, if you feel attracted to more than one pile read it as well, it might has a hidden message for you.
Pics are from pinterest, credits to their owners.
Pile 1 Pile 2
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Pile 3 Pile 4
Current energies:
(Cards: Queen of gems, 9 of gems rev, 6 of wings / 3 of wings)
Congrats pile 1! You've been making a hard work to nurture your own needs and improve your independence, you are being constant and consistent in this transit of healing you knew you had to go through to attract a healthy romance. You are releasing past pain related to relationships and your expectations about it, your perspective of love is changing for the better and you must be feeling it very soon if you haven't already. Now you feel more confident about yourself but also about what you are willing to accept in love terms, your standars are high but realistic, you are realizing what you really want in a love partner but being gentle with your needs and taste and you don't mind wait for your special person because the love you want to attract is like a twin flame connection, you want the one person that matches you and you know it's so worthy that you don't mind wait for your special person meanwhile you attend yourself.
What plays at your favor and what to avoid:
(Cards: Knight of wands, The well rev / Ace of cups)
Your passion and free spirit will be your card under the sleeve, putting energy into your personal long term goals and ignite the fire within you. You have found out something that fullfils your soul, you can be even aligned with your purpose on this lifetime, invest energy in what really awakes your passion and opens the road to your future happiness, even more if this is related to a career or a job. Don't hesitate when it comes to make decitions, be open to new opportunities and allow yourself to explore what those opportunities has in store for you, so open up to the world, love.
What you need to avoid is overthinking and spending too much time in your imagination, use it wisely to visualize what you want but don't let that visualizations be more real than your current life. Also there can be some insecurities that holds you back from taking the risk and embody the energy of the knight of wands, babe you are harder than the hard circumstances you've been through, trust yourself because you are unstoppable and filled with willpower.
I have good news for you! After a short time for you to embrace your fierce energy someone will come up to you with love intentions if you are single. This person is someone with clear ideas about what they want and they are not shy at all, they'll have an eye on you before you even realize and will give the first step to you in the most unexpected way, you won't see them coming. For people already in a relationship you can expect an unexpected but healthy movement from your partner that is going to bring so much happines and peace to the relationship.
Divine guidance:
(Cards: Religious factors, chemistry)
You've been waiting for so long, my love! Idk what you have been through in your love life but I feel a deep agony feeling in my stomach. Probably you have suffered a lot of anxiety with your past partners but I promise you, you will never go through that pain again, you had to learn the hard way but you learnt the lesson anyway and that helped you become the person you are today. Think that the people that did you wrong in the past were the ones who lost you, you haven't lost anything but gained a lot of wisdom through your journey, you are strong, you are fierce and you are wise give the proper value to your journey and all you had accomplished. Also you have an strong spiritual guidance and protection, they want you to know that the worst has left behind and your love life is going to improve very soon but you also need to open up and socialize a little bit more to see who you share that chemistry you've been looking for, you will find great friendships too.
Something relevant to know:
(Cards: Kisses, soul mates, addiction // Libra, the Moon, 4th house)
You are attracting a soul mate that is about to come, it's really close, someone who will fall deeply in love with you, for the ones who are already in a relationship this person you are with is the one you can build a life with. For singles, this is someone completely new, nothing from your past or at least, if you know them you never had anything romantic with this person. They are straight forward with you from the very first moment, they will want everything with you and that might scare you when happens, their intensity and assertiveness can be too much for you at the beginning. This person is fast but steady, they know what they want and go after it with no hesitation and that straight forward attitude can be intimidating for you but it's because a blockage you have within related to codependence but I feel at the same time some trust issues, that's why the cards through all the spread reminds you to trust yourself and don't try to control the uncontrolable. Don't let fear of what could go wrong stop you from reaching the happiness you've been looking for, let your feelings guide you, you'll realize that this person makes you feel happy, safe, respected and supported, they'll be what you wanted so bad so just thank it and enjoy it.
Your person looks very attractive for many people, they have this charming magnetic aura around them, they have a great taste of fashion too, probably has many secret admirers. You can know them through a family member or someone you know from your childhood (I hear something about an school classmate), you could also meet them at night, they have something that feels familiar for you even if you haven't ever seen them before. They are very into pda so they will try to get close to you and touch you when you two spend time together, I see this specific situation of you two sitting in a sofa and there's something between the two of you, like a party bag or a cushion and they try many times to throw that obstacle away to be closer to you. They are emotional but don't like feeling vulnerable so they might try to hide this sentimental side of themselves (but they will probably cry when in a movie a pet passes away), their love language is mostly physical touch. They might be a Libra moon or has the moon in the 4th house.
Manifest love:
(Cards: Supermoon, Cardinal moon)
Listen to your emotions, babe, they are trying to communicate some traits you weren't aware of related to the way you handle relationships in general not just in romantic terms. As the previous part said, you are dealing with some kind of attachment or addiction that is keeping you blocked and in a melancholic vibe. Be conscious about this attachment when it wants to sabotage you, be bold and overcome that fear, deep inside you know there's nothing to worry about.
Current energies:
(Cards: Strenght rev, Ace of roses rev, Death / The moon rev)
I see you very confused about your love life, there's a lack of understanding to what is happening to you in love terms. You are dealing with self sabotage, my love, I see very specific situations... you might be working with attraction or assumption law visualizing what you really want but on your ideals for a partner there is a lot of confusing energies. Maybe you want someone adventurous and fiery but at the same time someone that loves to stay at home and be like a teddy bear, grounded and stable, idk if I'm explaining this imbalance correctly, you need to be more precise with your intentions and aware if what you want to attract is really what will make you happy in the future. For others I see you very rigid in your standars and rejecting people very easily without giving them the proper time to really know those people and if they can match you. If you already have a love partner you might be unconsciously looking for flaws in them because you are not feeling very plenty but in whichever scenario you are in you need to give an step back to see this situation with perspective because this blockage is related to fear, and it'sprobably a repetitive situation you've been involved before, like the people are different but the situation is the same. You need to see if this insatisfaction is within you or is because of the romantic interest you are dealing with, maybe you are preventing suffering and not allowing yourself to feel to protect your heart. If you are single you must analyze if you are sabotaging the love opportunities that the Universe brings you, if you are already with someone analyze as well if you are feeling bad because something is happening within you or this feeling is caused by the person you are with. Don't fear looking at this aspect of yourself because the lesson behind will break a karmic pattern.
What plays at your favor and what to avoid:
(Cards: 2 of pentacles, 7 of swords rev / 4 of cups)
When we spend too much time alone with ourselves we begin to love more our own company and avoid spending energy with some people, this is even more deep when we have traumatic past experiences. You might be so comfortable with yourself that involving with somebody else looks like a nice idea but uncomfortable at the same time, you would like to but maybe another day. Babe, if you feel ready for love you just are, open up to love and enjoy but if you are not in the mood you need to respect that feeling as well. If your heart feels ready to open up just allow it and avoid mental games or trying to look for the flaw, if your heart is calling you to spend more time alone do it too, listen to your heart babe, if you don't the only thing you will get is the feeling of insatisfaction.
Divine guidance:
(Cards: You deserve to be loved / healing family wounds)
Self care is the key! Giving yourself the love you want to recieve is what you need to do to attract the love life you dream of. For singles, this moment is calling you to dig within yourself and attend the wounded parts of yourself that are still bleeding, mostly related to your inner child and your love language. For the people with a love partner is almost the same, you need to know what you like and dislike in love and your emotional needs, is a selfish mindset to expect from our partners to solve our problems or know our needs if we haven't told them or we don't even know our needs, is like asking to our partner for reading our minds instead of communicating what we want or need. Self discovery is also a love story, babe, the most unique one, I learnt some time ago that when we need something from others is because deep inside we feel unfulfilled and ask for someone to fill that void we feel uncapable to fulfill, this trait is really unhealthy for both parts of the relationship, the healthy midset would when you feel so satisfied with your life that you choose the right person for you, choosing instead of needing.
Something relevant to know:
(Cards: Wedding rings, engagement ring, the phoenix / Piscis, the Sun, 4th house)
For the people who already are in a relationship I'm happy to say that your person is going to have a very deep commitment with you, making you release any doubt you were having. For some of you your person can even give you an engagement ring if you are at that stage of your relationship, for others can be getting a pet or moving together. After this movement everything will change for the better and after a while you will wonder why were you so scared for such a wonderful outcome.
For singles, this is about commit with yourself and what really makes you happy, give yourself the love and treatment you like and deserve because soon after someone will approach you when you less expected. Get to know yourself deeply, babe, you'll fall in love with the fantastic human being you are, you can ask your guides for help too, they are always there to give you a helping hand.
The person you are attracting is someone that wants a serious commitment, they feel ready for a long term relationship. They are very emotionally mature people but also very romantic, their love language can be spending quality time together and acts of service because they will want to make your life easier. Your person is someone creative and doesn't fear expressing their sensitive nature, their job can be something that involves creativity too. They are warm and charming, the way they love is pure, loyal and deep, they will feel like a safe place for you. They might be a Pisces sun or has the sun in the 4th house
Manifesting love:
(Cards: New moon in gemini / Supermoon)
Communicate your feelings babe, speak your truth to those who love you and tell them about your true feelings. Your emotions are overflowing right now and that can lead to confusion or overwhelming, saying out loud what we feel makes us realize of the things we weren't aware of, and if we speak with the people we trust they can give us another perspective of the situation. If you don't feel comfortable or if it's hard for you to find someone to trust your feelings you can write them as well, create a journal where you can express and unblock your throat chakra, but babe, there are people around you can trust, just look better the people around you. Singing can be very healing too.
3. Lilo and Stitch:
Current energies:
(Cards: The chariot rev, King of gems rev, Queen of gems / The lovers rev)
I feel that the major part of this pile is for people with somebody already in their lives, can be a solid relationship or just a romantic interest, if you are single go read the part of Manifest love, there will be more information for you there. If you've been doubting of this connection listen carefully to that gut feeling. Well... are you sure you want to spend your precious energy in this connection? Think about it with cold head, maybe you find out how draining this relationship is for you. All cards are reversed but the queen of gems is upright (the card of the nurturer), what I see here is an unbalanced relationship where just one side of the couple is making the effort to make the other part happy, specially the femenine energy of the relationship (energy, not gender). Think about the love and care you are giving to this connection and if your person is commiting with it as much as you do, you probably find out that this is one sided connection and you are giving your energy to someone who doesn't seem to appreciate what you have to offer. You deserve someone who can't control an smile when they see you, someone that worries about you and wants to see you happy, don't settle down for less. You are too much art for someone who lacks sensivity 💕
If you are single, babe, just wait for a little more time for your person, the options that are around you right now are not the best options for you and if you try something with them it can be a very stressful and exhausting relationship.
What plays at your favor and what to avoid:
(Cards: 10 of pentacles; Knight of cups rev / The Hierophant)
My love, look around you and see how far you've come in your personal life, you are blessed and abundant. Some good news related to your resources or money are going to come soon if they haven't come yet, this is like a Divine gift the Universe want to give you to keep moving forwards and reach your goals. Invest more in yourself and spend more time with the people you feel comfortable with, you have some admirers so if you don't mind being the center of attention just enjoy it because you are magnetic right now for everyone who gets close to you, you shine bright and there are many people waiting to get close and know you better, there's something very beautiful and captivating about you that is very hard to resist, everyone who gets to know your precious heart will fall deeply in love with you, you are magical, babe and you deserve to feel that way.
What you need to avoid is to be expecting too much about the person you are dealing with romantically, take distance and let them miss you, they will show if they are worthy of your time and energy or not. They probably will be showing a very childish attitude, don't justify those kind of behaviors on others if you don't justify it for yourself, embrace your values and never allow anyone to act badly torwards you if you would never act that way torwards them. Be faithful to yourself and what you believe is right and if this person doesn't treat you with the love you deserve just let them go, they don't deserve you then. The first commitment you focus on should be with yourself.
Divine guidance:
(Cards: Religious factors; worth waiting for / Deception)
Don't get scared if you read the cards that dropped, all the spread tells you about the harm that is causing you your current relationship or connection. I don't want to tell you what to do but these cards and the cards from the next part of the reading are repeating the same, that person you are with is not your ideal person and someday, somehow they will do or say something that is going to be very revealing to you in the negative way.
There's an obvious deception and for some this will be more painful than for others, cutting ties with someone you've worked so hard to be with and you love is painful but is even more terrible to be with someone who only takes and never gives, being always expecting them to do something for you that they are not willing to do is heart breaking and you don't deserve to feel that pain because you are worthy of true and unconditional love.
Babe, by now give the love you need to yourself and don't expect it from anyone else, you are loving, caring and nurturing, you are the f*** Queen of Gems! Focus all that tenderness on you, pamper and also heal yourself, this deception is still or will be something painful that needs its proper time to heal so take care of your heart. As the cards say, the love of your life is worth the wait, be patient and take care of yourself meanwhile, your guides has someone very special in store for you, and great things takes time.
Something relevant to know:
(Cards: Broken heart, mask / Gemini, the Moon, 3rd house)
First of all, how is your throat chakra? I feel it needs more balance, sacral chakra does too. Babe, I know you won't like to know this but all the spread has been leading to this heartbreak card. The person you are dealing right now is going to reveal you their true face and will be very different to what you thought, their mask will fall and you probably won't like what was hiding under. I'm sad to tell you to be aware of their behavior because with their words they might try to harm you and make you feel bad, maybe agressive words are their survival mechanism when they feel exposed. Don't let them hurt your feelings, all they can do or say will reveal themselves, their true intentions and what they are capable of, it's nothing about you, remember that in this relationship you were the Queen of gems, they were the one that were taking a very narcissistic attitude.
Communication will be the best way to get an answer about your person, tell them about your feelings and desires for your relationship and see what they have to say, a serious conversation about the outcome of your relationship can give you a clarer vision to make a decition.
Manifesting love:
(Cards: Full moon in aries / New moon in gemini)
For the ones in a relationship the end of a toxic and harmful cicle is about to approach, be careful with your words, don't be agressive with them and don't tolerate if your person use harmful words torwards you. Even if your relationship gets a literal ending or just the end of a pattern, after that things will move smother for you, this situation probably has a karmic lesson behind.
For singles you might have been deceipted by the options you have for romantic terms or the people you have dealt with in your past, none of them really makes you feel that kind of love you are looking for. You are meant to spend the rest of your life with someone that really match with you, you look for something deep and if you are into the spiritual path you are aligning with the journey of twin flames. Your true love might take a little more time to reach your life but they will surely are worth the wait, meanwhile try to open up your throat chakra and speak with more people, a refresh in the people of your enviroment can be very helpful due to the dissapointment you have with the people already in.
You can meet your person through a sibling or cousin, it can be through really close friends you see as family. You'll recognize them by how well the conversation will flow between you two, that's the importance behind speaking more with more people so you can see the people you vibe with. Your person and you will have very deep conversations, you both will feel very comfortable with eachother and probably they will tell you things they wouldn't say to nobody else, the same for you with them. It will start for you like very good friends and things will slowly evolve into a romantic relationship.
4. Belle:
Current energies:
(Cards: The tower, The lovers, Queen of roses / 8 of gems)
Mmmm... Love is in the air for you, pile 4! You are not very focused in your love life or at least not interested right now, you are more into your work or studies, you are giving more importance to other aspects of your life intead of romantic relationships and it has probably something to do with a hard moment of your life you've been through or a big dissapointment you had with somebody (maybe a really close friend?). Anyway, by being focused into doing what you love you have attracted someone really special into your life, maybe you already know them but for the most of you I see you are not aware of this person but soon, and I mean very very soon (The lovers card in the present moment) will make a movement to start something with you. There will be a lot of chemistry between you two and a lot of sexual tension too.
What plays at your favor and what to avoid:
(Cards: The hermit, The artist / 3 of cups)
You've earnt a lot of wisdom after that tower momment you had to go through, you have leveled up your conscious and are more aware and sure about what you want in a relationship and what you are not willing to accept. Remember how wise and intuitive you are, and remember all the traits you are looking for in a partner, keep listening to yourself and don't be afraid to set healthy boundaries, not just in love terms but with frienships too.
You might have very high standars and that can make you see flaws where there are not, you like your time alone where you can visualize the life you want to manifest, this can make you run away from commitment, be aware of this trait when this person arrives in your life. This person comes to stay but being in the artist and the ermit mood for too long can make you delay the things you are trying to attract.
What plays at your favor are the people around you, specially 2 women that loves you deeply and want you to slow down with all you want to do and enjoy of the opportunities the world has to offer you, I hear a lovely laugh so you probably have a beautiful laugh that these two women wants to hear more often. You need to enjoy and have more fun in the present moment and have more faith in the future, you are very in tune with yourself so do things that makes you feel comfortable and happy, allow yourself to feel and go out of that ermit mode, youo'll feel great.
Divine guidance:
(Cards: Free yourself / Get to know each other)
If you read the cards I think the message is pretty obvious but let's go ahead! You need to release some fears, trust or commitment issues you are dealing with related to romantic relationships, you are more receptive to them in a more methaphorical way than to a real person. For some of you I feel that you daydream a lot about how your person should be for you two fit together but spending so much time idealizing your person can lead to loose from sight good oportunities you have around. This person you are meant to know is going to come to your life soon anyway, they have good intentions torwards you, the important thing here is to go with the flow and let the events evolve the way they should, don't try to control the situation or run away when things are not going how you expected. Get to know this person deeply using your emotional intelligence, don't force things to be the way you want them to be, I promise you this relationship will be better than you ever imagined.
Something relevant to know:
(Cards: Cupid's arrow; paradise; healthy choices / Taurus; Mars; 12th House)
Wowwww, I really love this 😍! There will be an strong chemistry from the start, even though you can be with your guards up this person is not going to give up easily, they are sure they want to make you part of their life and give you the love you deserve, this person is stubborn as hell when they want something, they don't hesitate torwards a challenge. They will show you a kind, respectful and unconditional type of love, probably you have never had a love story like this before, They will always try to make you feel comfortable, I think they will introduce you to their friends and family pretty soon, they want you to be with them, they see something in you that they knows will make them very happy and wants to give you the same in return. You'll feel safe and stable with this person, I feel this person is going to feel devotion for you, they are goint to trust you so much they will open up easily to you and tell you things they wouldn't say to anybody else... Tbh this is relationship goals for me. There will be so much love in here, but what I feel the most is you two being best friends, by each other side no matter the outside circumstances. Congratulations my love!
Your person is physically attractive, they have like solid and stable vibe, they look very friendly or maybe they are very very close to their friends. They are passionate people, probably has a high sex drive, they enjoy challenges but they are methodical and strategist to get their goal. They will love your company and will purpose you a lot of plans together but they would be happy just sitting on the floor if it's with you.They can be Taurus mars or having mars in the 12th house.
Manifesting love:
(Cards: Full moon in scorpio; Full moon in virgo)
This person is going to enter in your life very soon anyway but there can be some obstacles that interrupt the harmony of the relationship, is mostly about negative thoughts, misunderstandings and trust issues. Don't let negative thought patterns block you from being happy, remember your value and self worth, you are wonderful and beautiful just by being yourself so keep that always in mind. You deserve the same love you give so get sure it is unconditional and the best thing you can do for that is release those doubts and fears when they come and tell to yourself that you are good enough to recieve the kind of love you are looking for.
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perlailluminata · 6 months
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starsandsuch · 3 months
PAC: Their First Impression Of You 🐣💕💌🏹
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What Will Your Future Spouse Think Of You When You First Meet? 💌
Pile 1:
When you first meet your spouse it’ll be spring or summertime. A day where the vibes feel hopeful. I see a casual social setting, like a park. You're with your friends, like picnic vibes or an event outside. When you first catch your person’s eye, they start smiling to themselves. I get his happy child like feeling. Like seeing your crush at school. They are a popular person. Someone with a welcoming disposition. Their social interactions are usually superficial. They're someone who everyone knows but they often forget people they meet. But your face pulls them in like a magnet. Their first impression is that there's something special about you. They think you're very cute and siren-like. Delicate like a bird, yet rare like a mermaid. Right away you're glowing to them. They first feel attracted to the contrast of how your skin tone glows next to your hair. They love how your skin looks. There’s a glowiness to your skin in general or just that day. I see you wearing a halter style top or something like that. You seem to not notice them at all tbh. They check you out from a distance for a while. But they aren't shy and they will come over to you and say something witty or charming, even in front of all your friends. They’re the bold type, but not aggressive. They think that they have to know you and the day you meet, is the luckiest day of their lives.
Pile 2:
When you you meet your person, it might be a nighttime setting. Sunset or evening. At a bar, club or night time event. It's a night where life just feels romantic. The way you two meet catches both of you off guard, esp ur person. You meet on a day where ur rlly busy. I see that you meet in passing, you might go to someones house party for a bit or something like that. Your person first sees you and they take the strongest double-take, brows furrowed, drink in hand, like “who is SHE?”.😭 Right away they think “I hope she doesn't have a boyfriend” they're like praying to themselves lolll omg. They scan who you came with and feel relieved when they see you're not with someone already. They think you're too pretty. Their first impression is that you’re very classy, beautiful and captivating. They find you very sexually appealing but not in a vulgar way. You get their blood pumping instantly. They feel so shocked bc they seem like someone who is always in control, or try to keep a cool exterior. Someone who always has a plan. Oop but you mix up their “plans” this night. They immediately start concocting a plan in their head to impress you. They instantly have this sense of respect for you. They think you look like their dream girl, and they want to be your man.
Pile 3:
This will be a day where you are socializing with friends. I’m feeling strongly that it will be at a concert, or concert-like setting. Maybe a party. Music is involved somehow. When your FP first sees you, you’ll have the biggest smile on your face. Like your friend made you laugh at something. You’re just having a good time. Omg I get such good vibes from this pile. You’ll meet this person when ur in high spirits for sure. Their first impression of you is that they’ll fall in love with your smile. The kind of smile that lights up a room. When they see you for the first time, it’s like everyone else is blurred out and they just see you. They’ll think that you look approachable and charming. For some reason, just by gazing at you, they feel a sense of comfort and familiarity. They’ll feel a sense of destiny. Somehow know that you’re meeting is fated.
Pile 4:
This pile gives distant vibes. Like you’ll meet when you are far from home. I’m seeing that you could meet your person in a place with a lot of cement. Somewhere like a major city, downtown, nyc, chicago, DTLA etc. Even those historical structures in italy, france, or greece. You meet this person after work or through work. Tbh you meet them after you had a really rough day or week. When they see you for the first time they’ll think you’re so cute, and want to cheer you up. Their first impression of you is that you’re someone they want to help or guide. Def giving older than you vibes, even like boss vibes. They’re someone who is logical and confident, and used to fixing things. The way you meet, can involve them solving a problem you have. Like in the movies where the girl goes to work but then accidentally drops her coffee on the ground and that’s like her 13th reason but then a random handsome stranger buys her a new one 😂. But fr this person will see you as a light, even if you don’t feel that way that day. They think your cute and delicate and want to be your hero.
-starsandsuch 💕✌️
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oldhabbits · 3 months
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becherdireinen · 21 days
A soul-to-soul connection is worth the wait. Your soulmate will recognize you, befriend you & love you. They will be your best friend, lover & safe space. They will grow with you mentally, emotionally & physically. They will want to evolve with you in every dimension & level up.
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akindplace · 2 months
Figured out I am my own soulmate.
I'm the one who is going to be here for my whole life, my longest companion.
Might as well love myself during this lifetime on this body.
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