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alostlittleriverlotus · 1 month

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what also gets me about people being so adamant about using the word "narcissist" or some form of it to describe shitty people is...there are other words. I was just watching a drew gooden video and he said "If you knowingly take part in something that has the potential to put other people in harm's way and you still do it cause it's kind of fun for you, you are selfish and you suck." (It's the gender reveal party.)

Just seeing how many commentary YouTubers, especially more leftist ones that talk about the heavier side of things like misogynists and seeing them use the term narcissistic or delusional is just. We HAVE other words we can use! We HAVE USED other words for years before narcissistic became a big trend to say and narcissistic abuse really ramped up as a pop psychology trend.

It is literally SO easy to use other words. You can Google similar words. Selfish, self centered, self righteous, egotistical, arrogant, entitled. One of the best words I find is probably entitled. Because a lot of bigots and misogynists and shit that usually get delusional and narcissistic thrown at them are really more self centered, arrogant, and entitled. Self interested, self obsessed. Especially since for abusers, misogynists, other shitty people, the entitled comes from the fact it is NORMALIZED!!!!! It is not a bunch of narcissists harming people, it is a society, a world, that has normalized this behaviour. They are entitled, they are abusive, they are selfish, they are cruel. There are so many OTHER WORDS to describe your abuse, to describe shitty people. Just call them abusers or bigots for fucks sake. And even if some delusional people may get roped into it cause they're vulnerable, typically it is a lot of people who are INTENTIONALLY doing it. It is normalized, it is allowed!

All we narcissists ask is that you not use a word that demonizes us. "There's a difference" yet other people say there isn't, other people say NPD isn't even fucking real, other people say pwNPD ARE abusive. If we used any kind of other word for the more "talked about" disorders, there would be a problem. We ask that you change it, we ask that you use other words, we ask that you not further add to the stigma. The same stigma that BPD deals with, that autistic people deal with, that any neurodivergent person deals with. The stigma and demonization is something ALL neurodivergencies have fucking faced!!! It may have moved away from demonization for a lot of disorders, but there ARE people that DO still believe it.

We fucking ask you literally use any other word. And you refuse to. You refuse to listen to us. You refuse to believe us when we tell you the harm it has and how it actually prevents us from finding resources. You say "of course a narcissist would want that." You see it as an attack on you and your trauma. You are throwing trauma victims at risk of abuse under the bus because you want to feel vindicated in your own trauma. You completely ignore any critical thinking of what we say to turn it against us, to ignore us, to bring up your own trauma as a defense point. Yes, you were abused by someone and it is terrible that happened. So were we!!! My abusive mom probably has NPD, but it did not affect the abuse I faced, it only add strains in our relationship outside of the abuse that still affect us to this day.

It is SO easy to find another word, to literally just listen to us, to not throw us under the same fucking bus. To not group us in with abusers and rapists and child sex offenders and murderers. Would you fucking like to be compared to your abuser? Pretty sure you fucking wouldn't. So why is it okay to do to us?

Some people will never listen. No matter what I say, it does not matter. As with any kind of thinking along these lines. But for those that are still reachable, please. Listen to us. And what would you even do if you found yourself having NPD traits? Wouldn't it be terrifying to see that in yourself? Because I sure as hell thought it was. It made me hate myself and further believe that I could NEVER do any wrong because I wasn't like my narcissistic abusers and worsened my relationship difficulties. A fair bit of narcissists on here had also fallen into that same hole. It doesn't heal you. It keeps you angry, scared, upset. It makes you want to hurt them back. And that will not heal you. It'll keep you defensive. It's keeping you in a victim mentality and preventing healing.

To the ones that ARE reachable, I hope you can learn something from my posts, from posts I reblog, or from any other posts. It starts with narcissists and "psychopaths" (antisocials), but it is the same place the stigma of every neurodivergency and mental disorder stems from. It's why other disorders may still get demonization from some ableists. That a lot of autistic experiences were based around how it affected OTHER PEOPLE like "think of their mom having that autistic kid :(" it is not anything new. It is the same ableism and stigma. It is less demonized for other disorders now, focusing more on treating it as no big deal, ignoring the actual difficult symptoms of such disorders (like if you have poor hygiene, people will judge you regardless), or even infantilization. There IS still stigma, but the stigma was once the same as us, demonization. It comes from the same place. It's things said about other disorders still today even if it is rarer. It's just more well known for the "scary" personality and psychotic disorders since there is a big push to destigmatize things like depression, anxiety, OCD, autism.

Do not throw us under the bus. It will do nothing. It is the same fucking stigma, the same fucking arguments. Like gay people throwing trans people under the bus, they're called the same things even if it seems like they aren't. It comes from the same bigotry, the same place of hatred.

It is not new, it is not different, it just is more common for personality disorders, psychotic disorders, and schizospec disorders. So when we bring up these things, mention how using the term directly associated with a disorder in the DSM V and how it prevents us getting help, how using the term narcissistic DOES correlate to NPD, please fucking listen.

Cause nothing will ultimately benefit you for continuing down that rabbit hole. Narcissistic abuse believers don't help victims of abuse, those articles and questions don't help you heal. It keeps you angry how anyone could do that, it takes advantage of your vulnerability and desire to find meaning and logic out of it. The reality is, you may never know why or at least not until you are away from the abuse.

We are trauma victims as well. We are still at risk of abuse because of our disorder. I would genuinely stay with an abuser just for the sake of narc supply regardless of how they hurt me if I did not have a good support system. For our "toxic" traits, we cannot work on them without help and the idea of narcissistic abuse pushes stigma further which prevents us from even finding free online resources, let alone if we actually tried to seek any fucking help.

Narcissistic abuse is not real and it will never be. Please fucking include us in "mental health matters" and the push for destigmatizing disorders. We are fucking humans that need help. And even if we were all toxic and selfish hypothetically, removing the ability to find resources or get help is NOT the way to go.

Even when I believed in narcissistic abuse, I would search to find answers on why I aligned with NPD if I wasn't an abuser or a bad person. I was terrified to even suspect it despite how much attention and love and supply I needed and how that applied to the very essence of my being. Even when I examined my own actions, all I found was treating it as if they're the utter worst of humanity. Even with my toxic and unhealthy acts because I was a fucking traumatized teen with no experience for relationships of any kind especially not healthy ones, I could not find answers or help. And all that did was reassure me that I WAS the good person, that I was JUSTIFIED in my toxic desires because I was traumatized. It did not help me with my emotional regulation, it worsened it.

Even if narcissists WERE all abusers or toxic and bad, they deserve fucking help and a chance to be able to see their actions in a better light. Some people may never change, but plenty will if given resources and actual professional help. The idea of narcissistic abuse refuses that and just demonizes it and NOBODY wants to be demonized, NOBODY wants to believe they're a bad person. The term narcissistic abuse and the environment and community surrounding it is toxic. It always will be. That is inherently what it is about. It kept me terrified that someone might call me an abusive narcissist because of my emotional difficulties, that someone would take me out of context and turn me into a monster like my family had done my entire fucking life. It keeps you defensive, it keeps you scared, it keeps you mistrustful, it keeps you in those trauma responses. It does not fucking help victims find peace of mind or heal. It keeps you triggered.

Also NPD isn't just a single disorder on its own. It's comorbid or the person could be ND in other ways. BPD + NPD, it has some genetic factors so a narcissistic parent may increase likelihood you have it, there are DID systems with it. You are not just throwing people with purely ONLY NPD under the bus, but whoever else may have it that may also fall under many other categories. I'm autistic and have NPD, I'm a system with NPD, I'm schizospec and psychotic with NPD. I have ADHD and NPD. They may not be directly related and comorbid, but I do still fall under these other categories. So autistics throwing people with NPD under the bus does nothing for the narcissists that are also fucking autistic. So by throwing narcissists under the bus, you are throwing a LOT of people with that disorder that also have other forms of neurodivergency under the bus as well. And the stigma all comes from the same place anyway.

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narcpocalypse · 2 months

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I want to be charismatic and hot and sexy but I'm so awkward that idk how to take compliments. I could be like "oh thank you darling ♥️" but I'm like "hehe :3" man what the FUUUUCK! Narcissism work HARDERRRRRRRR!!!!!

#narcposting #narcissistic personality disorder #npd #actually narcissistic #actually npd #actually cluster b #npd safe #narc #cluster b #cluster b safe #giles blabbers #npder #npd awareness #npd culture

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brokentrafficknight · 4 months

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#rwby #rwby shitpost #neptune vasilias #jaune arc #ruby rose #jessica cruz #team narc #narc #smash bros

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syko-raccoon · 2 months

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Makes sense. After all, not every autistic person has autism bc its a spectrum /j

whole ass google showing was like “oh its because some are lower on the spectrum” as if that changes shit

#autism #autistic #autistic community #npd #npd safe #npd positivity #narcisst #narcissist #narc #narcissistic personality disorder #narcissism #ableism #ableism tw

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will-pilled · 8 months

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I find it hilarious (sarcasm) when people claim that those with personality disorders are all abusers or scary or some shit, yet from what I've seen we're abused way fucking more than y'all want to admit, by the people who say that shit nonetheless.

How are you gonna call us all abusers, then treat us like actual garbage for something we can't control? Sounds like abuser behavior to me lmao.

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catsanddemonssystem · 1 month

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So for those of you who don't know. Personality disorders are commonly caused by a combination of childhood trauma and genetics. Many narc abuse believers would have ended up as narcissists themselves if they were genetically predisposed to it.

#narcissistic mother #narcissistic traits #narcissistic personality disorder #narc #narcissism #actually narcissistic #narc abuse believers dni #narcissistic abuse #raised by narcissists #narcissistic parents #actually npd #npd

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mischiefmanifold · 2 months

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periodic reminder to not use the term "narc abuse truther" because the origins of "<term> truther" are antisemitic!

#npd #npd positivity #narc #narcissist #narcissism #narcissistic personality disorder #narcissistic abuse #npd awareness

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vaporwavevox · 20 days

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Aronarc

A term for when you're arospec and a narcissist and your attachment is heavily influenced by your narcissism and aromanticism, so much so that a description of your attachment to others is incomplete without both.

Aplnarc

A term for when you're aplspec and a narcissist and your attachment is heavily influenced by your narcissism and aplatonicism, so much so that a description of your attachment to others is incomplete without both.

Aroaplnarc

A term for when you're both aronarc and aplnarc.

These aren't orientation labels, you can be any aro/aplspec and use them, they are rather a descriptor of your attachment style and how narcissism influences your attachment. We are using "narc" in a reclaimed way as pwNPD.

Us and our partner system are both aro and narcissists and we thought for years that we must be alloro because we mistook our strong narc attachments for romantic attraction. The strong attachment to a person made us feel like we wanted whatever romance was with them, but once we started trying to do romantic relationships we got aro panic and felt trapped. We tried to date people and things fell apart because we were incompatible and just didn't want the same things in a relationship as them. We meshed best with other arospec narcissists who implicitly understood that we want supply and intensely attached relationships without that attachment including romance and tying our lives together. Both our aromanticism and narcissism play such large roles in our attachment that it is impossible to describe in what way we attach to people without referencing how both influence the attachment.

Then we realized we're aplspec and the narcissism affects platonic relationships the same god damn way there. We don't have squishes or platonic attraction really (except for one singular squish once in our whole life), but our platonic style attachments and relationships are still heavily influenced by our narcissism and lack of empathy.

You could probably extend this concept to being acespec or more aspec axes, but we wouldn't feel comfortable coining those because we wouldn't find them useful terms for ourselves and we'd like to leave defining terms up to people who want to use the things they're defining.

The pink on the flags represents narc attachment and narcissism, because it is eye-catching and also this song. (P: pretty, I: intelligent, N: never sad, K: cool!). The green represents aromanticism. The blue represents aplatonicism. The teal represents mixing both together. The white represents... I dunno, the fucking relationships and supply and how great our narc attachment is or whatever. It looks good and we like it, don't @ me. We made the colors bright because so many aspec and narc flags have dull colors and we wanted to represent the vibrancy of our experiences.

Coined by @radiostaticsmile and me to describe our own experiences. He's a loveless aronarc, I'm a loveless aroaplnarc.

#arospec #aromantic #aro #npd #narc #aronarc #aro narc #narc safe #narcissistic personality disorder #actually narcissistic #actually npd #npd safe #aplatonic #aplspec #apl #aplnarc #apl narc #vox 2 nite #the term coining has kinda been ruined for me by all the coining blogs but. it is still an accurate descriptor of what we are doing. so.

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losthavenmine · 5 months

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Narc (2002)

#narc #jason patric #filmedit #moviegifs #movieedit #fyeahmovies #userfilm #cinematv #cinemapix #filmtvdaily #mediagifs #usersavana #userzo

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narcitism · 2 months

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goodest whatever to all narcissists remember that ily mmmuuuaaaaahhh ur so cool <3

ur also so so so fucking tough and strong like woah,,, ur so fucking cool if you're a narcissist what

every narc ive ever met has been so hot and sexy and you are not an exception woah.

#actually narcissistic #narcissistic personality disorder #npd #npd positivity #npd safe #actually npd #narc abuse isn’t real #narcissism positivity #narcissistic abuse #narcissistic abuse isn’t real #narc survivor #surviving narcissism #narcissism #npd awareness #npder #narc

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alostlittleriverlotus · 10 months

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seeing an anti-narcissist post talking about how narcissists will believe they're good people and never realize the harm they're doing.

It is really amazing how anti-narcissist folks fit their own definition of narcissism.

Because when we even try to calmly explain, no accusatory language, to them why they are harming victims of abuse as well and why they are dehumanizing a group of people, they will instantly use their trauma and abuse as a reason for why they aren't wrong and believe they are standing up for victims of abuse.

Narcissists are victims of abuse too. My abusive mom is, I am. Like. You're demonizing a group of abuse victims as if it'll help you heal at all by acting like the narcissist is evil and self loathing. Regardless of whether your abuser has NPD or not doesn't matter. My mom's autism adds to her mistreatment of me. She takes things at face value and will neglect me even when I flat out tell her. It's not a trait of autistic abuse. Disorders do affect treatment of people, duh, because it affects their world view and how they perceived things. Like, how someone depressed may have their self image warped as well as their view of people around em. But that does not make it "disorder abuse." The disorder didn't abuse you, people with the disorder aren't more likely to be abusive or have their symptoms/traits affect others. You have a warped view because of trauma too. And people may use their disorders as a scapegoat (my ex used his depression a lot for his mistreatment of me and even blamed me for his depression), but it doesn't make it disorder abuse. It doesn't mean every person with the disorder is evil. And if you're someone who can "separate a narcissist from someone with NPD cause they are different" you fail to see how the correlation still harms people with NPD. That's why we ask you to use different terms.

We can't find solace in trauma and mental health spaces because of this anti-narcissist rhetoric and belief. That narcissists are bad and abusive and will always hurt you and can't love. Trauma victims with NPD can't even be welcomed in most trauma victim spaces because of this. People with NPD cannot look up help for their disorder without being bombarded with how to cope with the toxic narcissist. Just think about it for more than 5 seconds and try to empathize with us (since anti-narcs love using empathy, here you go.)

Empathize with us. Show us compassion. You ARE hurting victims. You're throwing trauma victims under a bus as a scapegoat and an outlet for you cause of your abuser hurting you. It IS a you problem. We are asking that you listen to us and learn and actually show us compassion and treat us like people. Honestly.

And don't even try to say "well you're a narcissist, of course you'd say that." That is literally ignoring what we say because of a bias you have with the disorder. I am saying this cause I shouldn't have to be wary of mental health spaces, I shouldn't have to go on Tumblr and find the NPD community to help me through narc crashes. I was having a narc crash and tried to find help on Google, all it did was make me suicidal instead of wanting to self harm. I could have died! And I have seen stories of other people with NPD killing themselves because of the stigma! This is a fucking real issue and me being a narcissist and affected by this ableism does not discredit what I say. Just please listen!

But if you're unwilling to, just block me. Because if you aren't willing to listen and learn and try to understand then don't even bother interacting with me, even negatively. I won't waste my time on people refusing to listen.

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