Disabled people have worth.

Human beings have worth because we are human beings.

Disabled people who are unemployed, who are on disability benefits, who require caregivers, who are dependent on family members, have worth.

Choosing to use mobility aids is not giving up. 

It's actually a huge step to choose to pay attention and listen to your body's needs and you shouldn't have to be embarrassed or feel like a failure for using them.

seeing an anti-narcissist post talking about how narcissists will believe they're good people and never realize the harm they're doing.

It is really amazing how anti-narcissist folks fit their own definition of narcissism.

Because when we even try to calmly explain, no accusatory language, to them why they are harming victims of abuse as well and why they are dehumanizing a group of people, they will instantly use their trauma and abuse as a reason for why they aren't wrong and believe they are standing up for victims of abuse.

Narcissists are victims of abuse too. My abusive mom is, I am. Like. You're demonizing a group of abuse victims as if it'll help you heal at all by acting like the narcissist is evil and self loathing. Regardless of whether your abuser has NPD or not doesn't matter. My mom's autism adds to her mistreatment of me. She takes things at face value and will neglect me even when I flat out tell her. It's not a trait of autistic abuse. Disorders do affect treatment of people, duh, because it affects their world view and how they perceived things. Like, how someone depressed may have their self image warped as well as their view of people around em. But that does not make it "disorder abuse." The disorder didn't abuse you, people with the disorder aren't more likely to be abusive or have their symptoms/traits affect others. You have a warped view because of trauma too. And people may use their disorders as a scapegoat (my ex used his depression a lot for his mistreatment of me and even blamed me for his depression), but it doesn't make it disorder abuse. It doesn't mean every person with the disorder is evil. And if you're someone who can "separate a narcissist from someone with NPD cause they are different" you fail to see how the correlation still harms people with NPD. That's why we ask you to use different terms.

We can't find solace in trauma and mental health spaces because of this anti-narcissist rhetoric and belief. That narcissists are bad and abusive and will always hurt you and can't love. Trauma victims with NPD can't even be welcomed in most trauma victim spaces because of this. People with NPD cannot look up help for their disorder without being bombarded with how to cope with the toxic narcissist. Just think about it for more than 5 seconds and try to empathize with us (since anti-narcs love using empathy, here you go.)

Empathize with us. Show us compassion. You ARE hurting victims. You're throwing trauma victims under a bus as a scapegoat and an outlet for you cause of your abuser hurting you. It IS a you problem. We are asking that you listen to us and learn and actually show us compassion and treat us like people. Honestly.

And don't even try to say "well you're a narcissist, of course you'd say that." That is literally ignoring what we say because of a bias you have with the disorder. I am saying this cause I shouldn't have to be wary of mental health spaces, I shouldn't have to go on Tumblr and find the NPD community to help me through narc crashes. I was having a narc crash and tried to find help on Google, all it did was make me suicidal instead of wanting to self harm. I could have died! And I have seen stories of other people with NPD killing themselves because of the stigma! This is a fucking real issue and me being a narcissist and affected by this ableism does not discredit what I say. Just please listen!

But if you're unwilling to, just block me. Because if you aren't willing to listen and learn and try to understand then don't even bother interacting with me, even negatively. I won't waste my time on people refusing to listen.

ATTENTION: Ambulatory wheelchair users exist.

Ambulatory wheelchair users, for those who don't know, are disabled people who use and need a wheelchair, though they may be able to walk small distances and/or at certain times.

I hate how many people think wheelchairs are only for those who can't walk, stand, or even move their legs. Just because someone in a wheelchair moved their legs, stood up, or even walked around a bit doesn't mean they can walk all the time. They still need a wheelchair for when they can't walk. You didn't "catch them", this doesn't mean they're faking being disabled. It just means you're ignorant.

This is just one of the MANY reasons why we need more education on disabilities. There is sooo much ableism that stems from plain ignorance on basic information about disabilities.

I find it hilarious (sarcasm) when people claim that those with personality disorders are all abusers or scary or some shit, yet from what I've seen we're abused way fucking more than y'all want to admit, by the people who say that shit nonetheless.

How are you gonna call us all abusers, then treat us like actual garbage for something we can't control? Sounds like abuser behavior to me lmao.

Stop Defending Ableists Challenge (Level: Impossible)

So the other day I made a post listing all the ableist things Jacob Richmond has included in Legoland and Ride the Cyclone.

And the response was abysmal - the amount of "well actually..." kind of responses I got was disgusting and I took down the post because I find it counterproductive to argue with teenagers on the internet. However, I stand by the belief that if you think you are old enough to post publicly on the internet, you are old enough to be held accountable for what you post.

But I think what I had to say was quite important, so I am going to reword it here.

TW here for the discussion of ableism and ableist slurs (they are all censored)

There is ZERO (0) justification for the use of THREE (3) ableist slurs across both works. I don't fucking care if it was the 2000's. The ADA predates both shows and disability activism had existed for decades before that (as yannick very kindly reminded me). So no, it was not ok for Richmond to use those slurs in his works, regardless of the time period. Because there is nothing "correct" (politically, or otherwise) about ableism.

And before you say "Oh, but it was the character who said it, not the writer..."

CHARACTERS ARE NOT SENTIENT BEINGS! They are not created in a vacuum. Their thoughts and actions are often a reflection of the author's own beliefs and morals.

It was not Ocean who decided to use the word cr*pple. It was Jacob Richmond who decided to use it. Same with the r word and sp*z in Legoland. It wasn't Penny and Ezra who decided to use those words, it was Jacob Richmond. Because each character's actions are dictated by the decisions that the author makes for that character. And in this case, the author decided to be an ableist asshole.

Yes, characters can be assholes. They can be complex and nuanced beings. But there are better ways to portray such experiences than being violently ableist (i.e.: without using slurs). And why does the ableist character get complexity and nuance, but the disabled character is simply the sad, disabled kid, with not much else in his personality until he magically becomes abled bodied. Like we deserve nuance and complexity as well, people!

In a 2022 interview with Curtain Call Bway (here), when asked who his favourite character to write was, Richmond responds with the following:

Ocean is definitely my favorite character to write because it’s based on certain people I’ve met and certain aspects of myself too.

Like he literally admits it himself, that his decisions when writing an ableist character were based off aspects of his own personality.

The reality is, disability has never been more than a comedic plot point to Richmond. He has never cared about portraying a realistic disabled experience. He has never cared about disabled people.

And the cherry on top is that his response to yannick-robin being hate-crimed was to rewrite Ricky so that he could be played by an abled and therefore production teams wouldn't have to give a shit about ensuring their spaces are safe and accessible for disabled performers. If he actually cared about disabled people and properly representing our experiences, he would have worked with a disability consultant and fixed the issues within the show. Instead, he doubles down and causes even more harm.

To add insult to injury, he then licensed that script to Sarah Rasmussen and her team of ableist cronies for the DC production. Because him choosing to continue working with Rasmussen and her team just shows that he shares the same ableist values as the McCarter/Arena team.

So by saying that "its the character, not the author", you are defending Richmond and his violent ableism. You are attempting to justify the harm he has done and CONTINUES TO DO to disabled people. YOU. ARE. A. PART. OF. THE. PROBLEM.

Ride the Cyclone and Legoland (in ALL its forms and versions) contains so much ableist violence. This violence has traumatised REAL PEOPLE, but yannick, myself, and other people speaking out are the ones ruining the vibe by calling it out? Be fucking for real people.

Now if only my university papers were this thorough...

New challenge for 2024: to stop saying "narcissist" when you mean "asshole". I call it the "Quit Being an Ableist Sack of Trash Challenge"

Dear PRATs who use “intrusive thoughts” as an excuse to be racist and pwPOCD as a scapegoat to be predatory,

SHUT THE FUCK UP. NEVER INTERACT WITH SOMEONE WITH OCD IRL. You guys make my intrusive thoughts 10x worse and have given me new themes. Intrusive thoughts do not make someone racist or a nazi or a pedophile, you are all just ableist pricks who need someone to use as a scapegoat. Just like with BIID, you do not give a single flying fuck about pwOCD. Next time I see one of y’all say “i’m ‘transnazi’ bc intrusive thoughts”, I’m punching you. You are only further stigmatizing OCD. You do not give a shit about us or any other disabled person for that matter, though I suppose this is expected from the community that actively encourages faking disorders. Fuck you.

Sincerely, a very angry obsessive-compulsive.

People will say they've unlearned ableism, but then vilify people with NPD.

People will say they've unlearned ableism, but then call people with NPD "evil," "bad people," and "inherent abusers."

People will say they've unlearned ableism, but then armchair diagnose someone who mistreated or abused them (2 different things, by the way), or just anyone they strongly dislike/hate as "a narcissist" or "a sociopath."

People will say they've unlearned ableism, but then make a stupid joke about autism/autistic people.

People will say they've unlearned ableism, but then fakeclaim others because they don't "fit" their idea of what someone with [insert illness or disorder] should be.

People will say they've unlearned ableism, but then deny that D.I.D is real.

People will say they've unlearned ableism, but then publicly fakeclaim D.I.D YouTubers (for the reasons above), endangering them and threatening their livelihood. (Even "professional" quacks; look at what some loser "doctor" publicly did to Pixielockes.)

People will say they've unlearned ableism, but then shame someone for not taking care of their hygiene every day, or for having a messy/dirty home.

People will say they've unlearned ableism, but then yell that plastic straws should be banned when many disabled people need them.

People will say they've unlearned ableism, but then rage if someone ever shows a symptom or trait of their illness/disorder.

So many people are anti-ableism until-

My dear fellow cripples: Use mobility assistance services at airports. Take elevators. Sit in the priority seats on public transportations. Get in the priority lines. Your lives deserve to be easier and I love you so much!

not in a good mood cause my friend's boyfriend is dealing with his abusive mom. And after a recent issue they had of her verbally abusing him, he found out about narcissistic abuse and ow. Ow. Thing is, he's autistic/adhd and has BPD and DID. I just. I fucking hate how easy it is. He repeated that "autistic and adhd people attract narcissists."

NO!!!!! Luckily he's very open minded and chill and is trying to understand when my friend tells him. But still. The fact that someone with equally demonized disorders and BPD which can be very commonly comorbid with NPD and then demonizes narcissists cause of how widely available that information is hurts. Just...no. Just no.

That is how easily accessible the information on "narcissists" is. He learned about it that easily when that ableism stems from the same place as the rest of hatred of mental health. There are people that believe you can't be in a relationship with someone with ADHD without it being emotionally abusive. People think meltdowns from autistic people are intentional emotional abuse. There are people that still believe that stuff.

It is so important for the rest of the mentally ill to not fall into this hole of demonizing narcissists. That ableism stems from the same place that ableism against autistic people and depression and anxiety and all stem from.

Narcissism doesn't make someone more likely to abuse. They do not have unique patterns of abuse. It is just abuse. It is emotional abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse. Just because someone that may have NPD is abusive does not make it narcissistic abuse. And also: if your abuser, especially if you are genetically related to them, has NPD then that raises the chance YOU would have NPD. It doesn't guarantee it, but personality disorders are a mix of trauma and genetics.

Anyone with any disorder can be abusive. People without disorders can be abusive. The majority of abusive people most likely don't have a personality disorder. It's the same as assuming that "all serial killers are schizophrenic" which is something my brother said to me recently. It's the same as believing all criminals are "psychopaths" when that just isn't true.

Anyone with or without disorder or neurodivergency has the ability to abuse and hurt others. A lot of the time, abusers may be just neurotypical. Narcissists aren't more likely to abuse than anyone else. Their disorder does not make them abusive. Any disorder can affect their treatment of someone.

I have dealt with many people who used their depression as a way to abuse me. It does not make it depression or depressive abuse. The disorder is irrelevant, the abuse is not.

If you lump in narcissists with abusers, you are lumping in other people that have been abused and traumatized with their abusers. I have been compared to a rapist, to a child sex offender, to a serial killer for being a narcissist. I have seen people saying to kill every narcissist since it would be better for people. I have been told I am lying about my abuse and actually my abusive ex boyfriend didn't abuse me, *I* abused *HIM.*

Narcissistic abuse does not exist. It is not a different or unique pattern. It is not "different than NPD cause the word narcissist existed before NPD" (when it is heavily associated with NPD and many resources say it is about NPD.) It is not a special type of abuse done by people with NPD. It is bullshit. You don't need "narcissistic abuse" to be able to understand your own abuse. Narcissists are not everywhere and looking to harm you. It keeps you scared and traumatized. It is not healing, it is not helping.

I'm just so upset cause my friend's BF is such a cool dude and I have faith he will learn over time, but it was so triggering. I split so fucking bad. So yes. Here's my rant and the reminder that: Narcissistic abuse is bullshit and just demonizes people with NPD and the mentally ill and people they often claim are narcissists aren't and are just privileged and entitled and shitty people and often have to do with more systemic problems that are normalized and accepted by society rather than, you know, icky mentally ill person.

Oh and btw. If you're gonna fight at all on this, just block me. Either you can listen and learn or not. If you're in the "not" section, just leave. You'll just be blocked anyway. Because I'm not here to have it justified why it's okay to say narcissists are abusive when I am literally a narcissist and this shit has literally worsened me to the point of wanting to die. Fuck off. We are mentally ill people. Some people with NPD being abusive does not make us all abusive. You would never say the same for any other disorder so why say it for us? If you wouldn't say it about autism, depression, OCD, or any other literal mental illness then do NOT say it about us. There are people out there who DO still say that about those disorders. Who DO believe that a disorder makes you inherently abusive. Is that who you want to side with? Cause it's the same fucking logic. Narcissistic abuse is purely pop psychology and popularized by the mainstream rather than even being a real term. Yes, psychologists and other professionals can be wrong and can be ableist too.

I've said my piece. Narcissists and anyone else demonized whether your disorder is widely demonized or not, I love you. A lot of disorders have become more infantilized rather than demonized these days, but there are people out there that still see every mentally ill person as evil. No matter what kind of ableism you face for your disorder, you deserve love and care and support, not to be treated more like an object than a person. And no matter what, no matter how good or bad, You. Deserve. Help. You deserve to be able to have access to help without any bullshit.

About the mentally disabled Palestinians murdered

I strongly support spreading awareness and honouring the memory of disabled Palestinians killed in the genocide. I am not at all against mentioning their identity as disabled people, because a lot of the time it is related to their deaths.

But please, I am begging you, be respectful.

Eyad Al-Hallaq was a 32 year old Palestinian Deaf Autistic man. He was murdered on his way to his school, the Elwyn El Quds center, which provides services for both disabled children and disabled adults. An Israeli officer shot him dead on the 30th of May in 2020, and then claimed he thought he was trying to murder a woman who was screaming. I have also seen it be claimed the officer thought he was a terrorist because he was wearing gloves.

Some people, while trying to honestly spread awareness, have used extremely disrespectful and infantilising language to describe him, repeating claims he had "the mental capacity of an 8 year old" and saying that his doctor said that, when it was not.

This is never an acceptable way to describe a 32 year old Autistic. He did not have "the brain of a child", he had the brain of a Deaf Autistic adult. This is extremely disrespectful to Eyad Al-Hallaq, and does him no favours, especially when such rhetoric has been used to justify the murder of Autistics. Eyad Al-Hallaq being an adult man should not make him less of a victim- not only is insisting on treating him like a child disrespectful and ableist, it perpetuates the idea that Palestinian men are not victims.

We should remember Eyad Al-Hallaq. We should remember his identity as a Deaf Palestinian Autistic. And we should remember him in a respectful way.

Rest in power, Eyad Al-Hallaq.

why are transphobes so ableist

The Little Big Things - Setting the Standard for Accessibility in Theatre

The Little Big Things is a musical that recently opened at the West End's Soho Place and it is a stage adaptation of Henry Fraser's memoir of the same name. It is about Fraser's experience with becoming disabled and figuring out how to navigate life newly disabled.

Of course, the show portrays Fraser's life before and after becoming disabled. And this show comes up with a very simple solution that doesn't involve an abled bodied actor "cripping up" - they literally just double cast the role of Henry Fraser. They have abled actor Jonny Amies play Fraser pre-accident, and disabled actor Ed Larkin plays post-accident Fraser. Like the reality is, no one cares that the actors don't look identical.

Not only is Fraser played by a wheelchair user, as is another character, Agnes (Amy Trigg), but both their understudies are wheelchair users as well (Joseph Wolff and Elena Pitsiaeli). That is four wheelchair users in the cast of the show. The associate director, Nickie Miles-Wildin, is also a wheelchair user.

So the narrative that "there just aren't enough disabled performers" is a load of bullshit. Not only was this show able to hire five wheelchair users, but they also hired several other disabled/chronically ill cast and crew members. It is clear that in this show accessibility was a priority, not an afterthought, as it often is in theatre.

Like look at this beautiful representation:

This is a story about disability being told by disabled people, and this should really be the standard for the industry. I really hope that there are more shows like this created because this is the authentic representation disabled people deserve. We deserve to be able to tell our own stories.

Have a link to some of the music:

I hate going to the dentist or the doctor's or whatever because every single time they're like

"And how often do you brush your teeth?"

And I'm really really bad at forming habits. Absolute garbage at it. It's really hard for me to start doing something and then maintain it as routine, and that's if I even REMEMBER to do it. IF I even remember, I still need to scrounge up the motivation to do it. I've never in my life been able to maintain a routine of brushing my teeth twice a fucking day, but there's been a few times where, with enough effort, I've been able to maintain a routine of once a day.

So I look at them, and I'm like, "I brush my teeth about once a day," and I'm proud of myself, a little, because I know it was really hard for me to get there, and once a day is better than nothing, right?

But they look at me, and every time they're like, "Well, you really should be brushing your teeth twice a day." And any amount of pride I might've had is gone, washed away and drowned out by shame, instead, because even my best isn't good enough. Even when I've managed to get something, they look at me and they're like "You should do more."

And they'll lecture me on it, tell me that once a day isn't enough. They'll tell me to at least try to brush my teeth twice a day, not once, and they'll present it like it's such a reasonable request. Like, this is the bare minimum, this isn't hard to do, it's easy, you should at least try to do it.

And because the shame is too much, and I don't want to look like I'm not trying, because I AM, I'm trying my best, and I don't want to say no because then it'll look like I'm just lazy, not willing to put in the effort. So I'll say okay, and I'll agree. And when I go home, I brush my teeth and maybe I'll brush my teeth twice a day for two or three days, and then I'll miss it. It's too emotionally/slash mentally draining to keep up the habit, or I didn't have the time, or some other reason, but I'll miss it.

And then, instead of being able to go back to brushing my teeth once a day, keeping that small, basic thing so that I have at least some upkeep on my teeth, I feel so much shame and dejection, I feel like such a useless failure, that I just.. Stop. I stop doing even that basic upkeep. I don't brush my teeth for fucking months, until it gets bad enough that they start to hurt and even then I'm like, why should I even try to get back into the habit? It's not worth it. It's not enough. It'll never be enough.

My best will never be enough for those people. I'll brush my teeth once a day, and they'll say, well, it should really be twice a day, as if I don't already know. I'll clean a small portion of my room, organize my desk or take out the trash or clean the closet, and they'll say, well, you should really clean the whole thing. I'll walk for twenty or thirty minutes while my legs hurt nearly the whole time, and then it gets bad enough I have to sit down, and they'll say, well, you really shouldn't sit here or you're wasting time or come on, it's not even that long, you should be able to walk for this long. or you're being dramatic, just believe in yourself!

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of my needs being dismissed, my best efforts being dismissed as not good enough when it's so hard for me to do that much. I hate it, and I hate how even though I know that I'm trying my goddamn best I can't fully erase the shame, not truly. It sits in the back of my brain like a parasite, eating away at my motivation to do things, to try my best. Consuming it until the shame just crushes and paralyzes me, and then I can't get myself to do anything like that at all, can't even try to put in the bare minimum, let alone my best. Because my best isn't good enough, will never be good enough, and it'll never get rid of the shame.